dream fragment

Morning of July 25, 2015. Saturday.



I had a very bland dream of looking at an unsolved diagramless crossword puzzle (which I had never been a fan of though had solved a few in my life). It does not seem to have been worked on correctly, as there are no symmetrical or mirrored aspects anywhere - the black squares seem all random. More oddly, no words have been filled in, which you would have to at least know some of to begin the implied pattern. I am not sure where the puzzle came from or who had been working on it.

It is possible that this dream was only a surfacing memory with in-dream distortion relating to when my older sister Marilyn gave me all of her puzzle books (including ones with pages of diagramless puzzles) going back to the 1950s and which I no longer possess (I wanted them to be in her house again, though they were probably discarded when she passed on). It could also relate to my view of society as somewhat random and not very organized or responding correctly to clues or other information, including the nature of authority and government.

Morning of May 31, 2015. Sunday.



In my first dream sequence there is something about my wife having gone somewhere and I am concerned about her return. At least our two youngest sons are wherever she is, it seems. My dream’s setting is quite mixed up. Even though I am apparently in Brisbane, it is rotated ninety degrees counterclockwise and placed in the Northern Territory (and as far north as possible in the particular region - apparently past Darwin). Not only that, one can walk to Tahiti, which is only a short distance, I think over a short bridge. There are a lot of people around, including a lot of Tahitians and activity at street markets, and it seems to be late afternoon. At any rate, my wife returns, seeming very cheerful, and she says we can probably live there because it only costs three hundred dollars a month (I am not sure if it is meant to mean that much for rent or for rent with every other expense).

Later, there is even more confusion of locations. I get the impression that we had been living in the King Street boarding house in America in Leonard S’s old room (where I have not been for over twenty years) which would be impossible regarding the number of people in our family, but now we are otherwise homeless and apparently had not payed rent for a long time (which has never been a real-life issue). However, at the same time, there is an additional (fictional) room adjacent to that room to the west which was “always” Leonard’s room. The house is seemingly completely vacant, without even the owners being there, thus it almost seems abandoned and a place we can continue to live for awhile - though I get the odd impression that I had somehow been building up thousands of dollars in back rent. Still, I walk into the hall and am able to wave at Leonard by somehow seeing through the wall into his room, though it is similar to the gap between the lower wall and the floor from years ago on Rose Street where I have not lived since I was six. He seems only about thirty and is seated on his bed. I do not go into his room or open his door but I can tell he seems somewhat happy to see me (even though according to my dream’s back story we had already been there for a time).

Eventually, my dream’s back story meanders around to where even the Tahiti concept seems wrong (almost causing my dream at this point to feel like a “reset”), as it now seems we could not move there anyway due to the fact that we need some sort of identification (to live there) that we do not presently have. This fact dawns on me when I walk back and forth from Australia to Tahiti a few times. Although I feel a strong sense of love for my family, my dream’s overall plot makes no sense at all from any perspective.

There is a short period of time where I seem to be in a (unknown) school but it is not very clear (though it could be the building my oldest son had martial arts classes). My dream takes on a sort of pattern and energy I have never seen before to my memory. An unknown girl (or possibly a young version of my wife) jumps forward a few times on a wooden floor and I clearly hear the clattering sound (almost as if her shoes are wooden as well but I do not think that is the case). When I look at her, it is almost like directly looking at the sun. There are layers of light around her and there is an intense sense of energy as she jumps in a direction directly from where I am - though I seem either disembodied or implied to be lying on the floor a short distance behind her. It is almost like seeing with x-ray vision, though again, just layers of light of different magnitudes, though there is a very subtle glowing bone-like structure “inside” her. I believe the dress is white. There seem to be layers of “filaments” rather than skin and muscle yet I still get the impression that she is just an ordinary human which I am seeing under particular conditions.

Morning of May 28, 2015. Thursday.



In this dream, I am living with my wife Zsuzsanna and children in, I believe, Brisbane, in a more populated area and where the houses seem closer together. Over time, there is vague concern over some sort of military conflict.

I notice a Cessna (possibly a 172 Skyhawk, though it also seems part of a military airplane composite and with a few clearer 1950s features) flying around above the neighborhood. For some reason, I sense that it will crash, possibly onto our house. It does eventually crash after we hear a bomb go off above, but on a nearby neighbor’s house. Looking closely, I see that the right wing of the airplane (which is facing where Zsuzsanna and I are standing) has a large somewhat trapezoidal hole around the central area, with some thin wiry metal about the perimeter of the hole. This seems to be the only damage to the airplane at this point, the other wing being whole.

I soon notice that Saul Rubinek (as he appears on “Warehouse 13”, the science-fiction television series) is being held and led away by federal agents in blue, all younger, and all of the men having just been on the airplane and then just walking casually away from the crash without the slightest injury or sign of stress. Apparently, Saul had caused the bomb to go off and damage the plane.

I immediately recognize the actor and wave and make a mention to the spectators near the crash site. He looks back at us and smiles and waves and seems cheerful regarding his situation and yet this does not seem to be relevant to a movie or television show being filmed. Apparently, he actually did set off the “real” bomb on the plane even though he is allowed to pause for a moment now and then to say hello to a spectator as if he was presently in an actor’s role.

---

I explain this dream type further in “Dreams of Type PRECONAV-VSCPCEL, 01-15”.

---

Morning of April 15, 2015. Wednesday.



This was a long but uneventful dream where I am living on Loomis Street in my older sister (deceased) Marilyn’s house. My sister is as she appeared over twenty years ago for the most part. I seem to be only around eighteen years old. The main theme of my dream is some sort of realization that I actually have no home (even though my belongings are in my sister’s house) but instead, somehow live in the night and take to the sky at the end of each day to “go home” (recurring). I seem to have no memory of events that occurred since around the end of 1990 (which is proof that the so-called “storehouse of memory” - contrary to what people claim - is not active during sleep in many cases - with over twenty years of fulfilling history not accessed or “remembered” at all). When I wake, I am always grateful for my wife and family and that I live in a house, and even that I am “still me” even though I am much older.

Still, in such dreams, there is a deeply personal sense of the ability to survive just by flying into the night sky and spending each night soaring about, never tiring. Part of this characterization of myself may relate to how all of my beliefs and experiences are so vastly different than that of anyone in mainstream society. It is not so much like “living in darkness” (or “living within night”) as it is living and moving far beyond what the majority of people have ever known or experienced - that is, living almost entirely beyond the “comfort zones” and self-imposed limitations of others. That seems to be the valid metaphor in this type of dream - to soar and live in mystery with a great feeling of comfort and a sense of trust and natural continuity - to not care at all about what other people think or believe - because of what has already been experienced and validated in so many positive ways.

There is also an unusual conversation in the last part of my dream which seems to last a fair amount of time. My sister and I are playing some sort of card game, I think, but sometimes when I say something, she has a look of surprise on her face and starts talking about how what I said had been in her dream of the night before. It seems curious (in conscious afterthought) to be in a dream, not lucid in any way, and hear someone else in my dream referring to my dream in a way that is assumed to be “real” and being an event that was precognitive to their apparent earlier dream (again, all the while not realizing I am dreaming myself). I do not think I have had a dream of this particular nature before where someone else assumed my dream to be real, yet also a confirmation of a supposedly foreshadowed scene from their dream. It is rather amusing in a way.

Night of January 24, 2015. Saturday.



I am not sure where I am but I hear at least three girls talking. I am aware of at least two balloons floating about on their own; one red, the other possibly a lighter blue. They are apart from each other, one slightly lower than the other by about one balloon height.

I get the impression that a fairly complex design (such as a funfair scene - including one with a picture of a balloon on the balloon) had been “carved into” or “engraved” on each balloon. There may be some sort of stencil that can be used to do this. Of course, cutting into a hovering helium balloon is not really possible and even if the balloon had slits in the form of an implied drawing, it could not be blown up. (Of course, if the “drawing” was complete where a cut represented each line it would just fall to pieces.)

I puzzle over this, not knowing if it is “real” or not; vaguely confused, but unquestioning.

Morning of December 12, 2014. Friday.



I am in the process of having a sensual interlude with my wife when I am vaguely distracted by a shift in consciousness during an increase in actual rain (in reality) falling on the roof - it is a soothing sound. I am then in a large old empty church. This church (and a contemplation on why it is completely empty) is rather a surprise. There seems to be a vague female presence still (possibly the essence of my wife, but outside the room I am in) in the background. I think the (slightly smaller than life-sized) statue is of the Virgin Mary, though may also represent the generic statue of a tomb. Its location in the center of the room is not really logical. My dream is not very long, only about twenty seconds.

I reflect on earlier similar dreams, including one of “The Thinker” when I was very young. This statue does not seem to “come to life” in any way, though, as The Thinker did. It is static and with no viable essence. My mind goes two ways on what this could mean. On the one hand, it could represent my wife entering into a new spiritual potential (even after all these years) as that is what statues have tended to represent in my dream universe.

I could also ponder if the female presence was somehow M’s mother (who was Catholic) and the statue representing what is left of her life in the matter of M’s early death (in her being now less dynamic spiritually - though that is admittedly an assumption on my part). This is something that could never truly go away and which has resurfaced recently with regard to a new online entry concerning those days - also - he still appeared in a dream when I was nearly thirty. I always got the impression that M died at only thirteen because of his hatred of me (and because I did not want to fight that day - as I said in another entry, the calmer and friendlier I acted, the angrier he became), particularly what seemed like proof of precognition to him as the main basis for his anger and seeming fear - even though we had no actual relationship prior to that “last day”. Even more ironic was the fact that precognitive awareness (seemingly via Susan R) happened to me while mostly awake that night and which was verified the next Tuesday (“coincidentally” - I found out later - at the same time his funeral began). Of all the ways any of that could have gone, it all unfolded, in this case, exactly the way I “foresaw” it. However, once again, this can also be “explained” as some form of remote viewing (which I have validated for myself thousands of times, so it really does not pay to feign ignorance) rather than precognition - or more likely - the typical precognition and remote viewing hybrid that most dreams seem to carry at one level.

Morning of December 12, 2014. Friday.

Dream #: 17,525-02. Reading time: 35 sec.



This dream reflected in part (though exaggerated in context) something Zsuzsanna had recently seen on television and had not mentioned to me. (This happens often.)

There is a lake of ice falling from space, threatening the American continent. It seems like it will be a big disaster. I view various maps and see details on the televised news. Looking at the map, I notice areas that are supposedly more dangerous to be in during the impact.

However, the massive lake of ice that is almost as big as America melts rapidly on approach. It soon vanishes as it is descending, without causing any “rain.” The event results in an unusual perspective with a strange sense of being personally protected by its natural continuity.

---

There is a scene from a Superman movie where he drops a frozen lake over a fire, but in that situation, it does become rain.

---

Morning of August 31, 2014. Sunday.



This is one of those “whining” stressful dreams (usually from being overtired, it seems. The noise I make in the dream is vocalized in reality but not nearly as loudly. They are not really all that common for me. Mostly I am lying on my back in the bed in-dream. Somehow, an animal gets in through the window near the head of our bed and is near my wife and I on the bed. I get the impression that it is somehow part human and part dog at the same time, though eventually seems to be more dog-like and mostly on its side throughout. I keep pushing at it to keep it from causing strange sensations in my back and side (like the strange ticklish spasm I still get now and then). It is not fully nightmarish but rather stressful in a physical sense and in trying to vocalize more loudly (again, causing the “whining” in reality as I am sleeping). My wife brings me out of it for the most part, which is good.

Morning of May 9, 2014. Friday.



In my dream, I am living in Cubitis with my wife (who has never been to America at this point). On the west wall of my old bedroom (where the three jalousie windows would otherwise be though now there is only one twelve-paned sash window in the middle - this being of a long-term precognitive change with no former knowledge) is a large but narrow shelf, about two feet across and about six feet up, almost as long as the room but stopping about two feet from the southwest corner. It is almost like the implied top of a bunk bed, I think.

There is no terror or distress as one might expect from the following sight (at least in the real word). There is a “five-foot spider” on the shelf, its legs hanging lazily over the edge of the shelf above our bed. It is black and “furry”. I am not even sure it is alive though, as it never moves the whole time. Perhaps it is even a large stuffed animal, as I do notice a small stuffed animal near the middle of the shelf which I think is a pale blue elephant with white triangles on its body. I am not sure what we will do. I visit the scene at least twice in at least one dream “reset”.

As spiders often represent the human hand in dreams (visually), this may relate to negative associations with typing my dreams from this time period with a much larger focus than when younger as well as placing them “on the web”, though because the giant spider is on my shelf, it may be associated with the vast dream journal material I have not yet posted and implying I am putting a lot of manual work in it all.

Morning of April 13, 2014. Sunday.



In my dream, there are birds talking outside, but it does not seem that unusual at all (as parrots and other species do “talk” after all). These are possibly some sort of large parrot. They are in the trees on the opposite side of the street from our present home. It seems very important to write down the six or seven phrases they are speaking over a longer time period, but I forget most of the phrases except for one. This last one is “sung” in a sort of monotone, which is “Get a raven”, said with each syllable emphasized equally (and note that my family and I did look after a raven for a few weeks a few years ago). I tell my wife Zsuzsanna what the birds are saying (trying to imitate the “croaky” sound somewhat), but then I realize it seems rather strange to claim that birds are speaking English and thus get pulled out of my dream, forgetting what I felt was more interesting than that last phrase.

---

I am adding the “dream journal synchronicity” tag (tumblr and a couple other sites that allow longer tags as such) because of this entry posted after mine: The Amazing Talking Birds

Morning of March 20, 2014. Thursday.



I am seemingly at my sister Marilyn’s house, but it is not represented as such at all in my dream. Instead, I believe it is some sort of building where there is a documentary being pieced together - the otherwise large kitchen seems to be the main newsroom where the guests are discussing their fringe lifestyle. It concerns a group of about ten people who are involved in an isolated religious sect or cult to where they can only marry “alien cats” or whatever. These “alien cat people” are supposedly from a distant planet that has some sort of secret ties with the Earth and are somehow genetically compatible with humans.

However, the truth is being delved into in that the “cat people” are not really aliens but genetically and surgically altered domestic cats. There is a point at which I see one of the altered cats walking about somewhat clumsily on its two hind legs while only being slightly bigger than a typical house cat.

At a later point, a larger cat seems to try to eat my hand in the “living room” (this obviously comes from an image I saw on another user’s entry on one site as well as their dream itself). The room is different in that it has some sort of thinner fiberboard utility wall for tools or cords on the southern side and through the middle, halving the size of the area where I am. I do not think I can “reason” with the cat. It is quite annoying, but I am not hurt. It dawns on me eventually that it would be quite problematic to be “married” to an alien cat person even if such had any other potential relative to the media attention or weird isolationist religion.

Night of March 20, 2014. Thursday.



It is either late at night or a couple hours before dawn. A gentle soothing rain is falling (which seems to be a form of healing or the presence of rejuvenating energies). My family and I as we are now are in the backyard at our present home on W Street. My wife Zsuzsanna has a beautiful radiant presence in the semidarkness. Our children mostly remain on the back stairs.

The water is very high yet not considered as a flood. Zsuzsanna is near the back porch and washing a thin layer of mud from a cow. She is chest high in the water and seems very happy. The cow’s head and part of the back is all that is above the water. My dream is vivid and accurate with regard to the setting, orientation, and physical awareness, other than the fact that the ground level would have to be lower to imply the depth of the water as relative to the porch and steps. My dream has a very cheerful and peaceful mood, with a sense of bliss.

I am becoming partly lucid. My dream remains vivid and positive and seems to last about fifteen minutes. I do not question why we have a cow in our small backyard in an urban area.

---

This dream is primarily a form of sustained induction or re-induction and I perceive Zsuzsanna as the inducer here. Water symbolizes sleep (in real time). There is no apparent waking symbolism initiated here (although a cow could be considered as an early morning waking prompt factor as a cow is milked early in the morning).

---

This dream seems loosely based (at least partly) on a negative real-life event of Zsuzsanna’s. Zsuzsanna, as a child, had a cow with the same name as a grandmother of mine (mother’s side), but it had drowned. This may also relate to an alteration of Zsuzsanna’s maiden name into “Hathor”. I think this dream may be injecting new associations and positive energies into an older sorrowful memory of Zsuzsanna’s yet somehow for my benefit or just reminding me of the lifelong Hathor connection with my “mystery girl” (and may also relate to Jennie Haniver in a subtle way relating to being in the water).

---

Morning of March 7, 2014. Friday.



I am in my bedroom in Cubitis, but it is different. There is not much furniture and the windows are of the type that open outward like French windows rather than jalousie windows (I wonder if this will turn out to be precognitive years from now as the sash-based replacements were). I seem to be only about fourteen years of age.

There is no window screen of any kind. I notice that a large bird comes into the room through the southern-most window on the west side and sits on a chair (I was aware of other large birds flying near the windows but only vaguely and I believe this was the only one that had been in my room at any time), which is the only furniture I take note of. It faces east into the room and from near the middle of the west wall. I am somewhat wary of it. There is a strange awareness or mood of “old royalty”. Larger birds in dreams when I was much younger often had a very eerie quality, especially herons and storks. This one seems to be some sort of large pelican though I am not sure of the species. I guess it could also be a phoenix, of which I have dreamt of rarely. There are both pelican and phoenix portraits of Queen Elizabeth I. An odd old myth states that a pelican would draw blood from its own breast to feed its young. In this case, then, the pelican could represent the sacrifices my mother had made for me.

I sense a sort of mystical power in the presence of the bird. I am not quite sure what to do. I notice that the curtain has fallen down over the window and I decide that I should probably move the curtain back so that the bird can fly out if it wants to, with enough room for it to not be concerned about feeling enclosed. At the same time, I do not mind if it stays in the room even though there is a vague thought of the mess it could make. I contemplate being very stealthy, because I do not want to alarm it (because it might injure itself) as I consider moving the curtain back. No drama ensues. I mostly stand in one spot, not moving, watching it.

I think this relates (to real life) somewhat to when we had a large raven in our house in Brisbane for a couple weeks, years ago, while its wing was healing (after being attacked by a neighbor’s dog). It used to sit on the back of the chair near my desk in the same manner.

In another dream, that resets several times in different ways, I am more in an abstract awareness of my breathing and location in time and space. There is the clear idea of the “layers” of breathing which is not a feasible concept as it is experienced in my dream state. It is as if I am breathing in the layered manner of a musical recording with at least three different elements (or “bands” of breath continuity) and three different ways of breathing occurring over the same time period. There is one long, even breathing at the “lowest” level and other additional breaths patterned now and then (a bit more sparsely but supposedly of a higher “pitch”) over the first layer. I can even sense the waveform of this type of breathing “pictured” about a foot above my head, but to the side or behind me in a three-dimensional spectroscopic field of about two feet in length. Of course, this makes no real sense because you can only breathe in and out in one breath at a time. Still, I clearly seem to have at least three different forms of breathing going on in rhythmic patterns over time - which realistically would require three different people to achieve in such a manner.

LINK TO PELICAN AND PHOENIX ELIZABETH PORTRAITS SYMBOLISM

Morning of March 4, 2014. Tuesday.



These are notes on more vivid, but rather abstract dream occurrences.

I am in an unknown almost entirely dark area and am not sure what is going on, though I am relaxed. I become aware of two three by three unit squares, supposedly on the “ground” or somehow elevated in an undefined space, a total of nine unit squares in each . However, they are actually together as a three by six square unit rectangle. I am aware of a female presence, not “full”, that is, an aspect of a female that is floating or moving over the area, not in body. For a moment, I am vaguely reminded of hopscotch, although the simple rectangular design of three by six squares is not like any hopscotch court I have seen. I focus on the idea of the number of squares, which is strangely difficult, because I incorrectly work out six times three as nineteen at first. I then realize that this is the first full stage of human life and it represents age eighteen in its simple construct. That is probably not the real meaning (assuming there even is any), but that is the meaning I seem to “logically” give it. Otherwise, it is just a six by three grid in a random, unknown space. Perhaps from birth and through life, there is a particular “hopscotch-like” path.

I am aware of a (I think) different female presence than before, which is seemingly “more” my wife at a different “stage”, perhaps. I am fairly certain that she is near me. I hear her speak a seemingly important request, “Calm me in 3520”. This seems to indicate a year in the distant future (although vaguely, I consider the time 3:52). Coming out of sleep into half-sleep without much hypnopompia, I ask her to repeat what she said (although the voice came from the dream - I do not think my wife had actually said anything). My wife is half-asleep in reality but awake enough to speak. I tell her that 3520 is too far ahead to expect to be alive in that year - and that there may not be any people then. She probably has no idea what I am talking about. She does speak aloud though, telling me that it is the year 1920. I tell her she is wrong and that we were not even born or even around then and she seems puzzled. Perhaps it is actually 2035 that relates to the request. I would be seventy-five then.

I fall back into a state where I then seem to be on a version of Deep Space Nine. I am wearing a large amount of (mostly silvery) jewelry everywhere, including a crown. Even though it seems a ridiculous amount of wealth and status, I feel very light in weight, as well as cheerful. Another person (male, I think) is near me. I appear to be fully human but as some sort of implied high royalty who is visiting the space station. We seem to be going through a narrow security checkpoint. Odo is the only character I recognize on the sidelines. No one speaks or complains about an apparent delay. I am the only one allowed to move freely through the area, past the checkpoint, uncertain as to why (even though the other character with me may be my assistant - am not sure). For a time, I then watch myself walking about as a “bejeweled” being. The whole environment is silvery (reflections from my jewels). No drama ensues.

Morning of March 4, 2014. Tuesday.



These are two dreams in the same entry. The first one involves an ability to transform into another person in appearance only. I am not sure exactly how it is done. I do not hold any of that person’s memory or abilities, I do not think, only the body appearance itself, it seems. It seems only vaguely related to a previous dream about relatives “inhabiting” the body of someone who has died during a sort of celebration or acknowledgement/wake period.

In the first part of my dream, I am near a storefront facing a large parking lot. For some reason, I “become” Naveen Andrews (though do not know the name in my dream at all). I am dressed in a black suit and am talking with a few female fans. Most of them are Hindi, one even with a large pot/vase of water on their head. I walk into a building later on and a man asks for my autograph. He hands me some paper and a pen, and then I realize that I have no idea what my celebrity name is. Instead of outright embarrassment and declining to sign “my” name, I write an autograph anyway. It is mostly a scribble of “m”, “n”, and “i” in a redundant series, with no discernible name, but the man seems happy upon attaining it and about our meeting.

I find someone I know as my true self (without changing into myself, though) and ask to borrow a pad that displays all the information on the television show “Lost”. I certainly now want to know the name of the celebrity I am supposed to be, so I know what name to sign when someone else asks for an autograph or when someone might ask if I am a certain person and I would know whether or not to say “yes”. The pad is complex technology with additional three-dimensional pockets and devices on the surface of which is all a viewing field with touchscreen options. The cast is listed in two expandable columns with small passport-like photos on the left of each entry. The first two are Terry O'Quinn, upper left, and Evangeline Lilly, upper right, with Naveen next left. However, instead of Naveen Andrews being listed correctly in the cast, I see that his name is Ruyard Nuttiger. (This name is not remotely familiar or meaningful in anyway - although it could be some sort of association with Rudyard Kipling and “new tiger” and associating Naveen with India.) From there, after learning who I am supposed to be pretending to be, I continue my walk in the public area. One area (originally thought to be some sort of mall) seems like the northern side of my middle school, which I do not recall dreaming of (at least with more correct locational appearances) in quite some time. No drama ensues and I walk eastward.

In another dream, which I would not call a nightmare (the emotions are not that strong or relating to fear), I am back at the King Street boarding house. This dream seems to have a slight association with the last dream of this location in relating to “bugs”/“worms” (virus association, most likely). There is a type of creature that goes through several stages. It is some sort of “termite” (only in a very loose sense of the word as a whole). I am on the Tenth Street side of the intersection. The different stages are very different from each other (I am not sure if some of it is relative to shape-shifting as a sort of temporary camouflage or not). One stage looks a lot like a white sand dollar. A group of “sand dollar stage termites” goes quickly after two other people (male and female), but I think only to protect more vulnerable creatures within other stages (which may be in cocoons). The other people are not hurt as they kick them away. Another is a giant antlion larva (giant “doodlebug”) that comes out from near the steps and then seems as large as a horse on the east outer wall of the house. It does not seem that threatening (but does appear to be in a defensive stance), but is still a sight that fills me with awe. Assuming they only eat houses and trees, I still do not want to be near these “monsters”, including the smaller ones.

There is even one stage where they look like actual termites. Who would have thought? I walk south to leave the area.