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    Memorable Dreams

    1. The Buzzard Who Would Be King

      by , 06-26-1971 at 12:26 PM
      Morning of June 26, 1971. Saturday.

      Dream #: 1,650-02. Reading time: 1 min 30 sec.

      It is early afternoon. A big buzzard is swooping towards a hamlet that seems to be part of another time, perhaps the 1600s (though this soon changes). There is tension and fear as the buzzard flies downward at a faster speed, though I seem incorporeal and I am viewing it from the side. It does not seem to be a threat to me.

      Suddenly, the mood changes and I see people carrying the buzzard down the steps in a palanquin (or sedan chair) from his newly attained castle as an orchestral version of “Pomp and Circumstance” (Graduation Song) plays loudly and moderately fast. There is a ticker tape parade with people cheering. The buzzard is sitting in the sedan chair like a person (implying he has knees instead of bird legs) and with his wings closed. He is wearing a crown. I am soon viewing the scene from far above as I fly up and out of my dream. The castle now appears to be the DeSoto county courthouse. I am laughing aloud in real life as I wake. (There is a soft abdominal jerk instead of a lower back spasm.)

      To understand this intriguing dream (one of my favorites of the time), I need to reveal its background information. During this time, in both non-lucid and lucid dreams, there was sometimes a focus on buzzards being in the sky as a possible threat when leaving my Cubitis home (though I did not fear them flying overhead in real life). That includes lucid dreams such as “The Buzzard’s Beak” (from October 4, 1969) that were untimely terminated with a buzzard flying down to trigger the waking process.

      The graduation song is a dream state end marker. Reaching the bottom or top of a staircase is also an end marker. Flying up and out of a dream is a common vestibular system process.

      The buzzard is wearing a king’s crown at the end of my dream, becoming the emergence simulacrum. The final cheerful comedic scene could be a display of the mastership of my current childhood fears of the dream state (unrelated to real life). In contrast, it could also signify that I acknowledge that the reticular activating system rules the dreaming and waking processes in a biological sense.

      Updated 01-25-2019 at 07:09 AM by 1390

    2. "Not My Fault"

      by , 05-16-1971 at 06:28 AM
      Morning of May 16, 1971. Sunday.

      Reading time: 1 min 42 sec. Readability score: 59.

      In my dream, it seems to be early morning, about an hour before dawn. My mother and I are standing between two of the buildings at my elementary school, near the inward corner of one. We are the only people in the area. I am unsure why we are here, though I consider may relate to completing information in my school records. I am aware that it is the weekend and that school will not be in session today. We are looking toward the south.

      I see a church about three blocks away. (In reality, the school building would be blocking such a view.) I can see its belfry in the semidarkness.

      A big yellow bolt of lightning comes down from the sky, on the right of the tall church belfry. (It has an unrealistic appearance, as if from a cartoon.) It strikes it near the top, and flames begin to consume the tower.

      My mother glares down at me as if I had caused the event by way of pyrokinesis and the ability to control the weather and guide lightning. Her silent accusation increases my focus and the vividness of my dream. (The presence of fire increases the awareness of my conscious self identity.)

      “It’s not my fault,” I say, somewhat hesitantly (with a hint of self-doubt), and I remain unsure if my mother believes me.

      The school setting is relevant to relearning one’s way back to the conscious self identity as in waking life. (This correlates with the subliminal desire to ignite the conscious self awareness for lucidity.) My mother is present by my side as the witness (RAS mediation), as she is the one who usually woke me during early childhood and my school years. The lightning is neural energy that increases awareness in the waking process of which also sometimes serves as a lucidity trigger by liminal intent. The belfry serves as an emerging consciousness representation (rising above the dream), and fire is consciousness.

      Ultimately, this dream is an augmented factor of the “lighting a candle” metaphor to establish lucidity and dream state awareness. Dream control and lucidity are not dependent on each other contrary to popular misconception.

      I believe that I have coherently explained every factor of this dream and its causes and meaning as the emerging consciousness initiation and non-lucid dream control. There was also influence from the Nancy Sinatra song “Lightning’s Girl.” That developed into associations with dream control, as I had imagined controlling lightning as relevant to the song (though this was a childhood misunderstanding as to what the song meant).

      Updated 07-22-2018 at 11:00 AM by 1390

    3. Golden Dragon

      by , 04-11-1971 at 10:11 AM
      Morning of April 11, 1971. Sunday.

      In my dream, my best friend Toby T and I enter the “Castle of Riddles” (which is seemingly modeled after my school and loosely related to “which classroom” I will go into on the second floor - though this changes and it then seems to be set in the basement near my dream’s ending). It actually seems to be part of some sort of (fictional, obviously) new game show for television that is being filmed at one point, though this idea remains more in the background. There were a few versions of this one - one did not have the “game show” atmosphere at all. One even seemed like a slow-motion replay and less vivid, watching disembodied from above the last scene, our bodies appearing somewhat distorted or “warped”. Toby and I are the only human characters present throughout.

      We are each to choose between one of two doors - one of us can only choose one door for ourselves out of required mutual agreement - in other words, each door must be for only one “contestant”. One door supposedly leads to gold coins, the other to “death” (or implied doom or bad fortune). It seems rather strange that my best friend and I are supposedly agreeing to this, but such is the case and I do not seriously reflect on it that much.

      Eventually, I pick the door on the left (numbered “one”) and Toby picks the door on the right (numbered “two”). As soon as I open the door, I find myself falling and sliding down a steep incline of gold coins (possibly an Uncle Scrooge comic book influence). I am very happy, as I look to my right and notice Toby is also sliding down the hill of gold coins at the same speed I am. We joyfully pick up coins as we are sliding and let them flow through our hands. I get the impression that they are golden American coins, though am not sure of the value. We continue to express our happiness as we slide. However, we both hear a loud roar (somewhat lion-like) and notice that, at the foot of the hill of gold coins, is a living golden dragon (that actually seems made of gold but is somehow organic at the same time - there is also an association with a furnace with a dragon-head-shaped door). It seems like we will die (thus to be eaten - though one version has the dragon’s head perpendicular to the direction we are sliding, thus is experienced and unresolved as ambiguous), but I wake up before I reach the open mouth, which in one version (even the original had at least one “reset”), turned out to be a large and stylish antique andiron, and in another version, a large school furnace (the setup actually seeming to take place at West Elementary in one version).

      This dream has the sunrise event rendered as a golden dragon that is set to swallow my dream self and my middleman (Toby T). The two doors are a similar dream analogy as an intersection (the concurrent “choice” between dreaming or waking, though here both doors can obviously only lead to waking). Sliding down the hill of coins (a dream sign position that renders my dream self as in a lying-down position) is a redundant coalescence event and in this case it (sliding down) is also a variation of the natural waking mechanism. I wake before the actual point of being swallowed (coalescence of dream self into whole consciousness, which all larger animals typically symbolize).

      Even this dream was precognitive in the sense that I saw a comic book story with some of the same elements and names after my dream (which happened fairly often though is more correctly called “postcognition” in cases when something has already been published). A Harvey comic book story seen later related to Casper the Friendly Ghost and involved characters trying to decide which of two doors to open and ending up as “mindless servants” when touching both doorknobs at the same time.

      In my childhood, I was somewhat intimidated by a fifth grade teacher, Mr. F, as well as the “King Midas” story which I despise, as it seems like an attempt to brainwash children into associating money with being “greedy". There was also a story about a treasure being “cursed”; an annoying theme with a “moral” unworthy of a rational human being (especially for these times, as one needs a larger amount of money just to survive at all).

      Updated 06-04-2016 at 09:39 AM by 1390

    4. The Tank and the Hilltop

      by , 04-09-1971 at 10:36 AM
      Night of April 9, 1971. Friday.

      Brenda W, a female classmate and friend (who lived just north of me but on the other side of Highway Seventeen in real life), also often playing a role within the main “mystery girl” composite or “wife-to-be stand-in” - is visiting my home in Cubitis. It seems to be morning, around nine o’clock. Her father is there as well as my father, I think (and perhaps both of our mothers in another area). We are all in my father’s original old room near the southern end of the room close to the windows and more towards the door, I being the only one sitting on the floor. Everyone else is at a table. I talk to her father (who is closest to me, sitting in a chair) about marrying her and he eventually asks me if he can look at my toy plastic army tank. When he looks at it, he accidentally but clumsily breaks the turret off. It is ruined, but I do not show my own anger as I do not want him being angry about his own carelessness by my acknowledgment of it - or perhaps he did it on purpose (this is not certain) - in which case an unpleasant confrontation would ensue. (This is probably a representation of the “defeat” or lack of readiness of my boyish masculine energies by her father - an obvious sort of symbolic “breaking or denial of manhood” or the male member, I suppose.)

      There is another scene where either Brenda or the “mystery girl” (as I only see her in shadowy silhouette for the most part) and I are on a hilltop, either in late afternoon or early evening just as the sun is going down. There is a similar awareness of the animation from “Song of the South” (from 1946). Leaves and flower petals are blowing around us in spirals. It is a very positive feeling. It almost seems like a wedding scene. My real wedding years later was on April 9, which was indeed to the “mystery girl”. Last year on this date (April 9, 1970) was also a marriage-related dream. (On a side note, when I married in real life, there were leaves and petals blowing around in a wind during a mild storm though we were under a shelter in Hervey Bay and the storm stopped immediately after the wedding, which can be seen on the video we have).

      It seems that the toy tank scene of this dream set was partly influenced by an episode of “The Partridge Family”. I was ten and so was Danny Bonaduce on the show. He was mistakenly drafted into the army on this episode by an “infallible” army computer and his mother took him to the induction center and he even goes through the tests because they do not “really” look at him.

      As I carefully go over thousands of heavily documented dreams, I am noticing two things a bit more; one being far more subtle television influence than I originally thought (which seems odd considering the level of synchronicity and even common precognitive associations), and yet two - there being far more unexplainable connections than even I originally thought.

      Updated 07-04-2015 at 12:22 PM by 1390

      non-lucid , memorable
    5. Wed-Nez-Day

      by , 04-07-1971 at 10:43 AM
      Morning of April 7, 1971. Wednesday.

      In real life I had shown a young female teacher, after class, my “How and Why Wonder Book of the Moon”. When she asked “Can I have this?” I thought she meant that she wanted to borrow it for a short time for another class so I said “yes”. Unfortunately, I never saw the book again (so I guess she thought it was a gift). I did not ask her about it and I did not tell either of my parents about the event. (I did have most of the “How and Why Wonder Books” of the time period). I was not angry. I just felt rather strange about the situation. I thought perhaps that I would get it back at the end of the school year but did not. I was always quite passive in the presence of public authority, not because I liked, “appreciated”, or trusted authority in any way - in fact, it was the opposite and I was passive because I saw most such people as unpredictable, unintelligent, and unaware (and likely dangerous at the drop of a hat) except for perhaps a few teachers during my school years, but even then, I strongly sensed their shortcomings and overall incompetence given the circumstances, which often frustrated me but I remained quiet.

      During this time, I thought of the book being returned on “Moon Day”. I had “worked out” that this was the day relating to the moon and had a false memory that the moon was always full on a Monday.

      The main in-dream theme that recurred here for a few weeks was the idea that people only got married on Wednesdays. It became “Wedding Day”, the “long form” of “Wed Day”. In reality, I never did learn how to “mentally say” Wednesday. If I do attempt to actually think of Wednesday as Wednesday, it comes out wrong due to the bizarre and atypical spelling of the word. This stems from earlier years where I never once said (mentally) anything other than WED NEZ DAY. This is why I so quickly learned to spell it (even over incorrectly spelling “what” as “hwat”, “when” as “hwen”, and so on when four years old). To this day, I mentally think “Wed nez day” when I want to write it, knowing the “z” is actually an “s” and then write Wednesday…I wonder if other people do this.
    6. A Trip to the Moon

      by , 03-27-1971 at 03:07 PM
      Morning of March 27, 1971. Saturday.

      A large unknown family (with at least a son and a daughter both around my age) and a lot of items (too many, it seems, as the car seems too weighted down at times) mostly tied over the roof of their pale green station wagon, makes a wrong turn near our house in Cubitis (heading south) and they end up going through our neighbor’s orange grove and then everything (including my home) is somehow on the moon. However, my “home on the moon” is a bit different, though still seems a partial duplicate of my home on Earth. There are no lunar surface features on the in-dream moon except those featured on a small framed picture hanging from the wall in the room with the gorilla later on.

      There is a giant earwig under a large tarpaulin near the entrance to the shed, though the shed seems in a different area of the backyard. It looks out from underneath but does not come out. Its yellow eyes, which are glowing, are the only thing visible in the darkness under the tarpaulin. The appearance and nature of the eyes is actually much like a scene from “Gay Purr-ee” (but with cat’s eyes in the movie scene), thus it is not at all like the eyes of an insect (though which I illogically reason is as such because of its giant size). I believe it came from the scene where the eyes (from the “Money Cat” scenes) are glowing from a storm drain (or at least from a chimney scene if the storm drain idea is a false memory).

      The family walks around, not knowing they are actually on the moon, it seems. They appear to be looking for a hotel or motel on their itinerary.

      A tiny flat plastic figure of a monochrome red “Martian” (I had in real life; a toy figure from a box of cereal, Quisp, I think) moves about as if alive, somewhat insect-like at first, but it is soon actually “full size” in my dream (about two-thirds as tall as I am). However, it later seems to be revealed only as a stage prop, where a couple (unknown) men are pushing it along on small wheels. There is also a vague impression that it is part of a carnival duck shoot.

      I climb up a ladder and look through a glass transom above a locked door, similar to the Rose Street apartment area (but more like a place I lived in years later on King Street). A large gorilla is sleeping on his back on a couch with a Cracked Magazine open over his chest. A longer series of the letter “Z” (of about three different sizes) is actually floating over his head, moving from right to left. For a short time, I also see a floating animated image of a hand saw sawing a small log. He soon wakes and seems annoyed by the noise as well as the sawdust falling on him from his own comic-strip-like sleep balloon. I am not sure if it is a real gorilla seen as is or a gorilla in a costume (odd reasoning). He is aware that other people are trespassing in his home, so we (the family and I) leave the area. We are not threatened or seemingly that endangered and do not see the gorilla again.

      Eventually, we come back to Earth in the car just by driving around the “cow pasture” on the moon (“twin” to the real one, beyond the back of my home). The family never seemed to know or acknowledge that they were actually on the moon, just commenting on some strange areas near my home. They do not believe me when I tell them we had been on the moon, so I show them around and show how things are different (for example, no large gorilla on a couch). They probably are not convinced.
      Tags: earwig, gorilla, moon
    7. "The Dead One" - A closer look at another childhood dream

      by , 02-13-1971 at 08:13 AM
      Night of February 13, 1971. Saturday.

      Brenda W, a female classmate I was fairly close to, and who lived just north of me in Florida, turned out to seem to also be some sort of dream symbol and remarkable catalyst for my future wife (there seemed nothing like this for the “other” - Susan R - although she was already present in my life at the time, so did not need a precognitive or anachronistic catalyst, I guess). There is a lot of evidence for this as well as some pretty strange synchronicity on top of precognitive aspects over a longer time period, some now just coming to light which I will add here, as in all honesty “it never ends” as the deeper I look the more “impossible” synchronicity unfolds, in layers, going far beyond being mathematically possible by chance alone.

      In the first part of my dream, which seems to be taking place fairly late at night, I go to Brenda W’s house with a larger bouquet of flowers to give to her. As I am walking along, I horrifyingly notice that a yellow bulldozer had ran over and killed her just prior to my arriving, possibly by minutes (I associated yellow in my dreams with “caution” at the time - as with traffic lights and painted borders on floors for possible hazards). Her right hand, from the lower part of the wrist up, is sticking up from the ground (where there is no grass but a few stones here and there). The rest of her had been covered up. I am in awe over the melancholy scene. My dream fades or shifts into the next scene…

      I am at the cemetery a few blocks from the school - I had ridden my bicycle past there (instead of taking the school bus most of that year) in real life several years later. In my dream, I am at Brenda’s grave. It seems to be open to display her in almost as a sort of Snow White scenario (or perhaps the grave is not “finished” yet?). It is at one of the graves closer to the road, but as I do not have the luxury yet of knowing the exact location/lot, I do not yet know whose grave it actually was in real life (something I would like to know) as although some cemeteries have exact locations of lot views online, this one does not and I do not quite have enough time to do more extensive research presently.

      I reach down to tentatively touch her and get a strange sensation of sticky cellophane covering her entire form. This fallacy seems somewhat “logical” in my dream. It is a fictional way of preserving her appearance, I suppose, similar to how a poster is laminated to make it last much longer. It is a very sad scene for me. I look upon her laminated body for what seems like a long time before I resign to continuing with my life.

      Later on (seemingly much later in my dream - perhaps two weeks or more), I am walking in the main part of town. I see Brenda, alive and apparently healthy and uninjured, walking around in the distance. I start to approach her, but she runs off (after stopping and watching me for a minute or so as I go closer to her), appearing to be frightened of everything - or perhaps she does not want to be “discovered” (alive again) by anyone who knew her yet. This happens a few times and I am never able to catch up with her or find where she is staying. I see her vanish among smaller groups of people and she always somehow eludes me. Perhaps she is lost and does not know where to go.

      Doing a bit of research, I found a different Brenda W (perhaps her grandmother) in a cemetery near where her family would have originally lived, and that other Brenda died on my wife’s birthday in 1991 - which is the year we first made contact. It was also in block 36, which was the number of my wife’s street address when we first made contact. Layer upon layer, it never ends.

      So, the Brenda W in my dream was running away, perhaps in being a symbol of my future wife, was not to be in my path at that time.

      Oak Ridge link

      The event where I touch Brenda’s “corpse” (the back of her left hand) in her open casket relates to a (subliminal) interest in the nature of sleeping and dreaming and is also a dream sign (as she is in a sleeping position and was likely also asleep at the time of my dream in the same directional orientation - thus on one level, this was likely distorted remote viewing). Additionally, the fact that Brenda; neighbor, friend, and classmate; was the only female as such in my youth that I perceived as dying and coming back to life (in a number of dreams) and who was also confirmed as a “stand-in” for my soulmate Zsuzsanna (other than when my “mystery girl” herself appeared, sometimes distorted into some of Brenda’s features), it speaks volumes.

      Updated 04-24-2017 at 06:38 AM by 1390

      non-lucid , memorable
    8. Through the Keyhole

      by , 01-19-1971 at 11:27 AM
      Morning of January 19, 1971. Tuesday.

      I am looking through a keyhole and see Brenda W, a female classmate and good friend. She is not aware that I am watching. It first seems to be at her house and seeing into her room, but then a little later (“same” keyhole in-dream) at West Elementary School where we are both students. After a short time (perhaps ten minutes), I see “living” totem poles moving about, some of which change into being more human-like at times. There is a red and wider crablike one which reminds me somewhat of a cheap plastic figure from a novelty vending machine.

      One, however, was identical to the “creature” at the end of the “Circle of Fear” television show episode “Earth, Air, Fire and Water” and even had a few identical moments of mood and discovery, sometimes seeming to relate to my own viewpoint. Of course, this was a couple of years before I saw it in real life (before it was even aired on television the first time, in fact, on January 19, 1973). There were a large number of elements of the show that unfolded quite precisely in later years. It was very mysterious and elusive in meaning and the eerie music even touched me at a closer level. One of my favorite quotes is from the show, “Remember the days of plenty; they were good days… there will be good days again”.

      Because Brenda was often a “stand-in” for the “mystery girl” (wife-to-be), the play on “key” seems to be more obvious now that I am much older. Also, a totem pole is a composite of different entities (such as two people being one in marriage).
      Tags: keyhole
    9. King of the Birds

      by , 01-15-1971 at 07:15 AM
      Night of January 15, 1971. Friday

      This is not the same as the “The Buzzard who Would Be King” dream, although it has vaguely similar concept. In this one, I am fully in-dream. I walk out onto the carport in Cubitis, seemingly late at night, and notice that the house seems to be “flying” in the clouds or actually caught up in a twister like a scene from “The Wizard of Oz”. Everything has an “energized” feel, including the very air around me. I am almost lucid, but not quite. A man-sized bird flies suddenly down from the east end of the carport and stands looking at me as with seemingly an intent to “save” me or become my friend. I sense that he is the “king” of the birds. In fact, he even wears a crown. (I assume the bird is male.) I originally believed this bird to be representing a hawk (but could also be a variation on my view of buzzards “dominating” my dreams for a time - this one being far more positive in association). Technically it was modeled after the animated Woggle-Birds from “Jack and the Beanstalk” (1967). The bird does not talk in this dream. This was one of a few dreams I used for my “King of the Birds” story in fifth grade that was “published” in a mimeograph format - and by which Bobby G informed me that “birds can’t talk” while his story was about anthropomorphic trees going to school, getting married, talking, and having babies. This is a good example of the bizarre irony and people I have dealt with all my life. It is the story I autographed for classmate Susan R (the “other” - that is, the only other person in my life whom I had a strange “paranormal” link to in real life).

      There is nothing at all threatening about the dream, either the bird or the strange weather or even being inside a tornado fairly high in the sky (or the thought of it in this dream state, anyway). This is quite possibly an early version or “clue” (of which I had thousands) of the Corona Borealis and Corona Australis plot by way of the meeting of the “birds” from America and Australia according to one source, particularly as a possible Yin force reference relative to the implied spiral of tornadoes in some of my early dreams.
      Tags: carport, hawk, tornado
      lucid , memorable
    10. “Jingle all the waaaaaay…” (Melancholy Dwarf Sings)

      by , 12-23-1970 at 06:23 PM
      Morning of December 23, 1970. Wednesday. (Original data and date validated.)

      Recurring over Christmas holidays during fourth grade. I am at school for some reason during the weekend starting Christmas break. A very short man/elf (who is very old) - or possibly a dressed-up dwarf or midget more “realistically” - is singing “Jingle Bells” very mournfully (dragging out “way” with a very melancholy flow with about three syllables). He used to sing it with great cheer, but his wife, who was three times taller than him (a blue Christmas fairy or whoever) had died the year before. However, in one part of my dream it seems her “spirit” is present and in a happy mood watching him and there seem to be a few other “woodland characters” in the background, possibly to later participate or remain an audience. (The idea for the “blue fairy” as a dream influence may have come from “Pinocchio”.)

      In real life, I had gotten a really long candy-cane-striped pencil with an elf head on the end - not an eraser though, it was made of plastic and cloth - from school as a gift from a teacher. I actually had it for many years, unused.

      Also in real life, I had exchanged gifts at school with Morris E based on name draws in school. I had given him (bought by my mother) a small spinner game with tiny pegs in a plastic box about the size of a deck of cards, and he gave me a pair of very cheap toy plastic handcuffs. However, the handcuffs broke after a very short time before school was out that day (and during the so-called Christmas party). The teacher made us switch back to where we kept our “own” gifts and of course, this made Morris E more of my nemesis than he already was, blaming me for “ruining his Christmas”, something I did not take all that seriously, though. My mother seemed vaguely annoyed at me keeping the gift as well. It is possible the mournful singing dwarf was some sort of representation of Morris in one layer, as he was a “dwarf” of sorts, that is, his growth was stunted and he remained very short as he got older.

      This dream colored my mood, but not in a negative way. It just felt “right” at the time, almost nostalgic (even for a child). I did make the stronger association with a “Christmas dwarf” rather than a Christmas elf.

      Updated 10-11-2015 at 06:26 PM by 1390

      non-lucid , memorable
    11. The Tadpole’s Ghost (in new two tier story format)

      by , 12-21-1970 at 06:21 PM
      Night of December 21, 1970. Monday.

      My older brother Dennis, half-brother on my mother’s side, is visiting my parents and me at our home in Cubitis during his leave during the Vietnam war, in my dream as well as in reality. Also in reality as is recognized in my dream, he had given me a small silver flashlight with a corrugated surface, that was identical to the one he had. My birthday was the day before; December 20th. [Dennis plays the role of “interested witness” in my dream and is the only other human character in this segment.]

      He and I are in my father’s original room at the southwest corner of my Cubitis home. It seems to be very late at night, perhaps around midnight or after. There is a light mist in the room, rising up to just below knee-level. [The appearance of a mist at or near ground-level, especially inside a familiar house, is a very good dream sign, though I do not become lucid.] We are standing close to the large bed (and which has mostly light gray and light blue bedding), almost touching the sides. My brother Dennis is standing on the left of my informal disembodied viewpoint, closer to both the door and the head of the bed as I am looking south towards the jalousie windows which the head of the bed is adjacent to and from my incorporeal perspective of watching myself (which I do not find unusual at all), the other “real” (physical) me being closer to the foot of the bed on my right, the bed perpendicular to the south wall of the room, out from about the middle of the wall. [A bed is another very good and more obvious dream sign, especially when a mist appears around it.]

      A ghostly tadpole, floating in the air, partially transparent and with a hint of blue, about the length of my hand, is hovering and wavering horizontally above the center of the empty bed, and it is looking north towards the foot of the bed as well as alternating glances at us, remaining in position at about two and a half feet from the bed’s surface, reminding me a little of a fluttering pennant. [“See, I am like a ship’s pennant, fluttering above a bed in a room of mist, marking the platform of your induction, so take notice of me, do you not see you are in a dream?”]

      This ghostly tadpole is my secondary conscious self presence within my dream, projected here as the flying symbol of dream state immersion and waking transition, downsized and rendered as not yet an adult frog to remind me I am still a boy. It speaks to me of coalescence, impossibly “swimming” fairly high above the implied surface of a pond or other body of water; as such, rising above the awareness of a typical dream, and as a result, my dream almost reaches apex lucidity and becomes nearly as vivid as real life.

      Both Dennis and I are shining flashlights at it and around it and watching its big eyes dart from side to side, as I remain with a feeling of awe and wonder, watching how the light reacts to various aspects of its partly reflective wavering body. Its mouth also makes fish-like movements the whole time. My brother is talking about it in detail and making other comments. I catch the word “weird” a few times but not much else. [The flashlight is the power of the whole conscious self, shining light and awareness into the dream state, and in addition to this being my primary conscious self essence, it also signifies the inevitability of sunrise and daylight - that which dissolves the most vivid of dreams.]

      Time passes and the hovering ghostly tadpole eventually quickly turns (after seemingly deciding if he wanted to go into Dennis’s flashlight or mine) and suddenly “swims” into my flashlight, following the ray of light that my flashlight emits, yet my flashlight goes out as my dream eventually “darkens” and I wake with somewhat of a curious awareness and puzzlement. I get an impression that Dennis will be puzzled by my flashlight no longer working as I come out of an odd half-awake state.

      …and thus my dream ends, the small “undeveloped” (not yet a frog) ghost of my dream self projection, incomplete threads of conscious puzzlement and limited identity, the “haunted” nature of “unraveled” conscious attentions, deciding to coalesce back into the light of day, the tool and form of whole consciousness, the flashlight, the ray of rationality, the flight of the waking, half-aware self back to the source and out of the dream state. There is only one additional detail. My flashlight really did stop working that morning, which puzzled my brother greatly. The batteries were new. Perhaps the bulb burnt out. I did not drop it, but it never worked again.

      Updated 03-24-2016 at 02:32 PM by 1390

    12. King of Outer Space

      by , 12-19-1970 at 03:00 PM
      Night of December 19, 1970. Saturday.

      On the eve of my tenth birthday (December 19, 1970), a rather oddly titled article by John Dart appeared in the “Crossroads” newspaper supplement, that being “Is God A She?” I wonder if anyone else even noticed. More importantly, was God “the queen of outer space” (that afternoon’s movie)? “Obviously not all goddesses one meets…are of this sort,” said Dr. Dornish at the end of the article.

      One of my most vivid memories from age five is being in the “Miracle Space Ship” in Copeland Park in La Crosse, especially on the day I slid down the big wavy slide for the first time while there was a light rain beginning and my mother was waiting near the bottom (on the right) with arms akimbo and my father just pulling up in a car on the edge of the road, being apparently annoyed by my tentativeness in getting out of the rocket according to what my mother was saying rather loudly. However, I never developed the courage to go all the way up to the top and mostly stopped about one section above what was at the time, a massive slide “above the world”. I listened to the giggles and the metallic thumps above me, sensing the movement and vibrations in this “rocket”, and thought perhaps the whole structure precarious, and even perhaps the other children floating off into nowhere when reaching the top. (Years later, when I returned to Wisconsin as an older teenager, it was far less intimidating.)

      In an adventurous dream, Talleah and Yllana are present. Random male classmates serve the background roles. There was the typical composite confusion found in dreams, where I absentmindedly replaced the new slide in the West Elementary School playground with the rocket slide from Copeland Park. This was not problematic as dream characters sometimes do not care less if a setting is even there, let alone rendered with proper detail.

      Talleah (Zsa Zsa Gabor) tells me “You needn’t worry dahlink.”

      Queen Yllana: “I’m going to allow myself the exquisite pleasure of watching you while I obliterate the Earth.” (I did not yet know what “exquisite” meant. I thought it might have something to do with pinching someone as they did on St. Patrick’s Day if you were not wearing green regardless of any cultural background or considerations.) John C (classmate) does not seem too impressed and seems to be talking a bit too much. I wish he would just stop before the women get more annoyed or call “dial-a-verse” to keep himself quiet.

      The playground is the playground though an outpost on Venus at the same time, perhaps bilocated through typical in-dream layered associations. I need to “escape” by climbing the steps, but they go on forever…
    13. Childhood Lucid Dream Misadventures: Dog Nose

      by , 11-29-1970 at 05:29 PM
      Morning of November 29, 1970. Sunday. (Last checked and clarified on Friday, 12 January 2018.)

      In my dream, I had been wandering around in my backyard in Cubitis, seemingly around nine o'clock on a clear morning, becoming more and more lucid. I start to think about taking advantage of this state and enjoying physical interaction with Lisa (who is not present in my dream at any time). I marvel at the clarity of my dream’s environment, finding its realism stunning and wondrous.

      I am eventually seated on the ground inside an area within the unfinished part of the large cinder block shed (which my father had built and added to over time), which does not have any roof or walls. I am seated near one of the cinder block columns that is to my right (west). As I am sitting here, facing south (looking in the opposite direction as the main part of the shed) and feeling happy and expectant in my anticipatory musings, I turn slightly to my right to look westerly towards the carport and notice an unfamiliar stray dog walking around and sniffing the ground. I believe it is possibly a black Labrador Retriever. The dog huffs upon noticing me, but does not bark.

      I become extraordinarily frustrated. “You dogs are always ruining my dreams,” I bravely shout, with the tone of my frustration dominant and echoing throughout the dream space (though still with my young boy’s voice), expressing my irritation at the presence of a dream state distraction and potential virtual threat and as such, my attention drawn from my previously hopeful lucid intent of feminine contact (even though I spent a lot of time with Lisa in real life).

      After a menacing deep growl, the dog teleports from just beyond the east end of our carport (a good distance away), to reappear right behind me. The dog jabs me in the small of my back with his hard nose, triggering the deep tickle spasm in my lower back, which causes me to spontaneously jolt awake. I was annoyed at having such a vivid and well-rendered dream truncated.

      Questions Answered:

      What does the aggressive unfamiliar dog in this dream symbolize? The dog is this dream’s RAS (Reticular Activating System) factor. RAS is that which is responsible for regulating wakefulness and sleep-wake transitions. (I had no fear or wariness of dogs in real life and no expectation of such an encounter.) On the one hand, the dog’s assumed lack of obedience symbolizes my dream self’s expectancy of my dream’s non-compliance with my conscious self identity’s desires and potential will. On the other hand, by exclaiming, “You dogs are always ruining my dreams”, I lucidly caused the dog to serve my negative expectation of this dream’s outcome so quickly, that the dog teleported and triggered the waking jolt in my lower back.

      Why did you shout “You dogs are always ruining my dreams”? The reason for me negatively addressing the RAS factor was that I was already familiar with the nature of the dream state (and its many different levels) at this time - even as a child (though had not mastered it yet as I mostly have now, though it depends on the level of unconsciousness and the particular stage of the sleep cycle). RAS had already been rendered as dogs in a number of dreams by this time, again, symbolizing my dream state not submitting to my will, analogous to an untrained dog. This sort of aggressive RAS symbolism eventually diminished as I got older and learned more about dreams. (In fact, in a number of recent dreams, a passive German Shepherd had appeared, standing near a a thin vertical pole displaying a pennant at the top, symbolizing my dream’s obedient nature within certain levels of unconsciousness.) Still, RAS does get aggressive and dominating at times (though is often personified rather than being rendered as an animal), as waking is a biological necessity.

      Updated 01-23-2018 at 10:28 AM by 1390

      lucid , memorable
    14. Things…From Outer Space

      by , 11-07-1970 at 09:24 PM
      Morning of November 7, 1970. Saturday.

      Although this was one of my favorite dreams of this time period, I guess I really was not very good at coming up with more precise titles (or even interesting ones) in many cases (the original title, here, had never been changed to any other title in other transcriptions to sometimes allow for more detail with similar dreams). The song from my dream, which I actually recorded a few times when younger (unfortunately, without any sense of musical taste) - brings fond memories of hilarious incompetence. Then again, this was a “movie soundtrack” in a sense (or more of a “dream soundtrack”). It opens with a showing of not-very-realistic stars as if the camera is moving through space at a fairly slow speed. The higher mid-range male voice moans somewhat slowly and sadly, “Thi-yi-yi-yi-yings…from outer spay-yay-yay-yay-yace…may bring truh-uh-uh-ooh-ble…for the human ray-yay-yay-yee-yace…”

      June 2015 UPDATE: After all these years, I have decided upon an interesting viable association with the human hand. Apparently, it was a giant land-going cuttlefish.

      The main first scene is a “giant human hand” (the right hand - with bulging but human-like eyes and a crown placed on its “knuckles” with special effects of some kind) that moves from right to left, spider-like (as I have decoded spiders to often represent negative associations with human hands due to their visual matching as even the “Alien” movie did with the “facehugger”, though in a few dreams they had a positive association with human hands in connection with “The Eensy Weensy Spider”), with an eerie stop-motion-like effect on the sand in the area it is “walking” but not quite as much with the “alien monster” itself. The imagery seems to have the same overall mood as the scene from “Dinosaurus” from 1960, where in-dream, I reflect on the sand moving in a similar way as the dinosaur’s body is dragged along the beach (which may be an augmented sense, “amplified” in-dream). The fact that I know this “alien monster” is actually a human hand (moving through a model of the school grounds?) seems to remove all sense of any possible threat from my dream. I find it intriguing how some of my dreams were able to “amplify” the very clear but somewhat artificial feeling of some of these movies from the early 1960s, especially the stop-motion ones like “Mysterious Island” (1961) and “Jason and the Argonauts” (1963), two of my favorites.

      Later, however, I am in the high school building where I and other West Elementary students sometimes went to the auditorium in real life to see various shows and such. I am trying to “hide” from a large orange “octopus man” (also with a crown) who is mostly moving around in the dark because of a teacher having sent me to turn the power off to possibly “trap” him due to his supposed poor vision. I am doing this by staying to the right outer side of the doorway as a tentacle moves out from the doorway now and then, moving near me but not touching me. I suppose that I could move to the left and leave the area, but for some reason, I remain near the doorway.

      The crowns were quite plain and similar to crowns in several other dreams. Mostly orange-tinted and with a seemingly engraved triangle waveform on the band, similar to the zigzag pattern on Charlie Brown’s shirt, but not quite as thick. Sometimes, I get the sense of two short antennas on either end of the crown, with a lightning bolt moving between them. I had drawn pictures with this feature during this time period.

      There are a few other scenes involving Toby T and the fact that we will probably still be going to school even with all these strange creatures moving around town. There are also parts of music playing, from the song “Aquarius” from “Hair” - and I get the sense it is related to “this movie” in-dream. At one point, there is a giant bat and human composite, which was not mentioned in all documentation instances.

      New research implies that “Zontar: The Thing from Venus” was also possibly an influence. It had aired after “Dinosaurus” on the previous evening on “Shock Theatre”.

      Updated 08-03-2015 at 04:00 PM by 1390 (Enhancement)

    15. Ghost Wolf

      by , 10-19-1970 at 04:19 PM
      Night of October 19, 1970. Monday.

      I am at a cocktail party very late at night on our carport at Cubitis even though I am only a young child. It may be around two o'clock in the morning. I had been playing with a friend (Eddie from my class), with a large, rubbery and mostly hollow all-orange toy racing car with driver (the “midget” kind that looks a bit like a shoe and the person leans way back to drive them). I clearly hear the glasses and ice-cubes clinking and party chatter, and see that everyone is fancily dressed. Suddenly, there is a much enhanced silence as I suddenly feel lucid. My dream becomes extremely vivid, of the “like real life” perception, even after waking. The silence ends with a few whispers and talk of the ghost of a wolf that haunts the railroad tracks just beyond our back yard beyond the usually weedy area. Soon, there is an eerie howl, and the white, glowing wolf moves quickly down the railroad tracks, going south. For a moment, he seems frozen in time in mid-leap. This is not nightmarish at all, but very enjoyable in its intense eeriness and nonthreatening event.

      This dream is type EC2. The orange (associated with October, the month of this dream) toy racing car seen at the adult cocktail party on my carport (while fully in-body throughout as a remarkably stable dream self) foreshadows the waking transition as a downsized conduit symbol. The train coming down the track is my emergent consciousness. The ghost wolf that could be perceived as either “leading” the train, or being “chased” by the train is the hybridization of my temporary waking self (a ghost almost always being a thread of the “incomplete” conscious self in the dream state) and sublimated dream self, offset from the adult cocktail party as reflecting the “pack” - yet as a singular ghost wolf. The imagery is beautiful and extremely vivid and seems to occur in infinite night. The transition echoes as an eerie, but beautiful and very “familiar” howling sound.

      Updated 02-26-2016 at 12:20 PM by 1390

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