• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views

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    Memorable Dreams

    1. The Day There Was No Sun

      by , 09-18-1971 at 02:43 PM
      Morning of September 18, 1971. Saturday.

      I wrote a few versions of a fantasy story from this dream (which recurred with slight variations) in my school days.

      In the large front yard of my Cubitis home, I am with several friends around my age who are my rural neighbors and those I knew from school (including Steve J, Brenda W, Tina L, and possibly Kenny and Karen S). Earlier, there had been talk (based on something heard from a radio report?) about the sun moving from its present location while Earth would somehow remain in the same place or eventually move into a wider orbit, which of course would do far more than just make the weather real cold and result in “continuous night” as are the only problems implied in-dream.

      The sun is at about sixty degrees altitude to the northwest - this being an in-dream inconsistency due to the events seemingly taking place around ten o'clock in the morning. We point dramatically (while standing at the end of my Cubitis driveway off Highway Seventeen) as the sun moves away and the sky becomes darker, with stars eventually visible in the final stage of the event. As the sun moves farther and farther away, a shadow briefly passes across it (from left to right) each time with changes of the sun’s color; there is mainly red, orange, lighter orange, yellow, lighter yellow, and finally white as the sun then looks like any other star in the now nighttime sky. (At one point, it briefly seems that I am disembodied, watching the group and myself from a slightly elevated level farther away, being closer to the central area of my front yard but more to the northwest of center.) In a way, it is vaguely like watching a series of time-lapse sequences of solar eclipses, though the sun becoming smaller during each “sweep”.

      No threatening events happen in my dream regardless of the implied catastrophic changes. There is soon snow in Florida (there actually was snow in the region I lived in some time after my dream - only once in the years I lived there, but it did not stay on the ground). Eventually or apparently a week or more later, a female friend (Brenda W - about a year younger than me) is at another friend’s house (Karen S - about a year older than me) but soon closer to where I live (Karen S lived across the highway from me and slightly south while Brenda W lived north of me on the opposite side of the highway but a longer distance - though Brenda and Karen did not know each other). Brenda is standing near bushes and trees (left of the mailboxes for the area) that are not there in reality. She watches me closely, seeming very interested in what I am doing.

      I have this setup of a few bottle rockets somehow tied up in a cluster along the ground near the side of the highway between some smaller trees. The bottle rockets spark and sputter a bit in the semidarkness with the implied destination being due north solely along the ground, but they somehow cause the entire Earth to move back into orbit as Brenda happily says “It’s workin’!" The dream is extremely vivid at this point and I clearly see Brenda smiling at me in the semidarkness. It becomes lucid only as I am waking.

      Later on, when "Fiddler on the Roof” was released (in November of this year), the movie’s main instrumental theme seemed to “rewrite itself” as my dream’s “theme song”. (This has happened before with newer movies and songs after a particular dream.) The titular phrase “the day there was no sun” seemed to “forcibly” be the lyrical “match”, in timing and mood, of the first five notes of the movie’s theme song even though it remained an instrumental.
    2. The Confused Dinosaur

      by , 08-29-1971 at 02:29 PM
      Night of August 29, 1971. Sunday.

      A small dinosaur (possibly a young Ornithomimosaur) that is only about as tall as I am, and of which I think of as an ostrich dinosaur, is running back and forth in the hallway of my Cubitis home, trying to get into one of two rooms (and rattling the doorknobs each time), the bathroom or the hallway closet (the doors of which are on opposite sides - and near opposite ends - of the hallway; the bathroom door perpendicular to the back door and the hallway closet perpendicular to the living room opening). I feel sort of sorry for it (regarding its seeming confusion or indecision) but stay out of its way (and it does not seem to become aware of me at any point or at least act as such). There is no threat of any kind. I seem to be viewing the event from near the bathroom door though in the bathroom at one point, somehow seeing through the closed door.

      Due to a particular vague association in my dream, I think this may have been influenced by an old cartoon (possibly Betty Boop or Silly Symphony; though even after extensive research, I have not been able to locate it) which showed a kangaroo going to the door of an airplane (while in flight), not being able to open it, and soon going back to sit down again, I think because of being bored or annoyed with a singing character, though this may be a false memory regarding certain details. I am not sure, as I neither wrote the name of the cartoon nor time seen at any earlier point in my journals.

      It is probably relevant that this year, starting fifth grade on the 30th of August, I mostly got my school clothes from the hall closet and changed in the bathroom before sometimes “racing” back through the hallway to the living room to leave to wait for the school bus. (For the year after this, the volume of clothes I had took up more space and they were mostly kept in the room-length sliding-door closet in the southwest room - my father’s room at that time.)

      (There may be a subtle connection with my “Poor Little Dinosaur” dream from 1965, from about a year before attending any school, and “identifying” with it on one level - it was of the same general size and appearance as here.)

      Updated 11-15-2015 at 10:34 AM by 1390

      non-lucid , memorable
    3. My Prehistoric Garden (reposted with full meaning added)

      by , 08-28-1971 at 02:28 PM
      Morning of August 28, 1971. Saturday.

      I discover a seemingly prehistoric coral-like “garden” underground that I had dug out from our front yard and put in shallower cardboard boxes and tried to maintain in a few different areas of my room, mostly on my tables and dressers (perhaps one or more on my floor). These “plants” (including supposedly prehistoric sea fans) are all of various colors (each one only of one color), including Pepto Bismol pink (fairly common in childhood dreams), bright glowing yellows, and that brighter glow-in-the-dark green used most often for certain toy surprises in cereal. My prehistoric garden seems very special; beautiful and nostalgic for reasons I am not sure of. Each type of plant has its own specific color. There is also a purple one that sort of looks somewhat lightning-shaped, with a bumpy surface as well as orange sponge-like “rocks” but of which may grow larger over time. Some “plants” are more rock-like, sponge-like, or fern-like than others and some glow more than others (the purple ones glowing the least, the green ones the brightest, I think - almost in the proportionate manner of glow-in-the-dark colors in real life). I am very glad to have these special plants in my room. They comfort me and radiate a sense of peace.

      This is an interesting situation and one of my most comforting and deeply felt dreams of this time period. Coming from underground implies exploring more deeply into the unconscious realm or taking something (a gift) from the unconscious realm or perspective or mood of the unconscious self (the memories as such defining a more harmonious and joyful coalescence into whole consciousness), the “prehistoric garden” perhaps analogous to human DNA, yet the way the plants glow (and how they are stored - in plain cardboard boxes for the most part) implies the essence of the conscious self (and the light of day analogy). The light remains at a certain level however, which may be why my dream seems to last so long (seemingly all night), almost analogous to a reassuring nightlight.
    4. Sideyard Burial

      by , 08-15-1971 at 02:15 PM
      Morning of August 15, 1971. Sunday.

      This (“Sideyard Burial”) is the original journal title. When my family had first moved to Cubitis, my father had eventually taken down a very large tree that was in the north side-yard that he was concerned might eventually fall on the house during a strong storm or hurricane. Later on, the stump (and most roots) was also taken out and for a time, it was an additional incidental “well” that was about six feet deep or so. It was filled in a few years later. I used to lie on my stomach and watch all the trapped toads come out from the recesses at the bottom when throwing down an earthworm or beetle or some such. Seeing them come out from different areas to go after the same potential meal was kind of fun at that time. It very vaguely reminded me of movies that had scenes of ancient Rome and gladiators.

      Later on, that area was a place of mystery in a few dreams. There was a very long dream in which a feeling of strangeness was present and the actual body of Christ was buried there about five feet down or so. There was even something about an investigation of the scene. Mostly, I am aware of the skeletal hand and arm coming out from the side of the well. However, over time, it is only determined to be roots (even though there actually was the skeletal hand and arm in earlier scenes).

      This is vaguely like a much later dream where the holy “bones” turned out to be plastic forks and such for picnic supplies - “The Temple and the Tomb (January 1996)”. The “burial” dream was fairly haunting in one sense but certainly not nightmarish. There have been a reasonable number of dreams where things changed in such a manner where something unusual or eerie turned out to be mundane, including the “vampire bat” to large moth in one older dream.

      There was also a dream firstly from when I was four years old where a “bear” turned out to be a burned tree stump, which I saw later in an actual story in real life (that was very similar in some ways) - but this was also from a story my father had told me long before my dream which supposedly happened to someone he knew - that is, a friend mistaking a burned tree stump for a bear when they were out at night - an event that was probably fairly common and probably still happens now and then as people are always mistaking something for something else, especially at night.

      There was also a dream (1973) where the Roanoke Colony (the “lost colony”) was camped out in that part of the yard (strange, considering that it was Florida). I watched them from the roof, watching the fire’s glow and the people standing about. I am aware that one of them - a toddler - is Virginia Dare, but that is also an association with a (deceased) sister named Virginia.

      This dream is a generic DDR event where what is believed and somehow “reported” (by the media) to be the skeleton of Christ about six feet down (near an area where my father had removed a tree in real life) turns out to be plant roots. This is all seen as if incorporeal and with a sort of implied x-ray-like vision (though with natural visual details) through underground areas. There is much more to this one, though. This specific location was very rare in my dreams and the only other significant examples were specifically related to precognitive dreams concerning my “mystery girl” - again revealing her exact appearance before I made contact with her in reality, one where I fell down unable to move in the same orientation as the “bones” from my 1971 dream. Also, my oldest daughter’s birthday falls on this dream’s date, so I consider it to have at least two “markers”.

      Updated 08-26-2016 at 10:15 AM by 1390

      non-lucid , memorable
    5. The Buzzard Who Would Be King

      by , 06-26-1971 at 12:26 PM
      Morning of June 26, 1971. Saturday.

      Dream #: 1,650-02. Reading time: 1 min 30 sec.

      It is early afternoon. A big buzzard is swooping towards a hamlet that seems to be part of another time, perhaps the 1600s (though this soon changes). There is tension and fear as the buzzard flies downward at a faster speed, though I seem incorporeal and I am viewing it from the side. It does not seem to be a threat to me.

      Suddenly, the mood changes and I see people carrying the buzzard down the steps in a palanquin (or sedan chair) from his newly attained castle as an orchestral version of “Pomp and Circumstance” (Graduation Song) plays loudly and moderately fast. There is a ticker tape parade with people cheering. The buzzard is sitting in the sedan chair like a person (implying he has knees instead of bird legs) and with his wings closed. He is wearing a crown. I am soon viewing the scene from far above as I fly up and out of my dream. The castle now appears to be the DeSoto county courthouse. I am laughing aloud in real life as I wake. (There is a soft abdominal jerk instead of a lower back spasm.)

      To understand this intriguing dream (one of my favorites of the time), I need to reveal its background information. During this time, in both non-lucid and lucid dreams, there was sometimes a focus on buzzards being in the sky as a possible threat when leaving my Cubitis home (though I did not fear them flying overhead in real life). That includes lucid dreams such as “The Buzzard’s Beak” (from October 4, 1969) that were untimely terminated with a buzzard flying down to trigger the waking process.

      The graduation song is a dream state end marker. Reaching the bottom or top of a staircase is also an end marker. Flying up and out of a dream is a common vestibular system process.

      The buzzard is wearing a king’s crown at the end of my dream, becoming the emergence simulacrum. The final cheerful comedic scene could be a display of the mastership of my current childhood fears of the dream state (unrelated to real life). In contrast, it could also signify that I acknowledge that the reticular activating system rules the dreaming and waking processes in a biological sense.

      Updated 01-25-2019 at 07:09 AM by 1390

    6. "Not My Fault"

      by , 05-16-1971 at 06:28 AM
      Morning of May 16, 1971. Sunday.

      Reading time: 1 min 42 sec. Readability score: 59.

      In my dream, it seems to be early morning, about an hour before dawn. My mother and I are standing between two of the buildings at my elementary school, near the inward corner of one. We are the only people in the area. I am unsure why we are here, though I consider may relate to completing information in my school records. I am aware that it is the weekend and that school will not be in session today. We are looking toward the south.

      I see a church about three blocks away. (In reality, the school building would be blocking such a view.) I can see its belfry in the semidarkness.

      A big yellow bolt of lightning comes down from the sky, on the right of the tall church belfry. (It has an unrealistic appearance, as if from a cartoon.) It strikes it near the top, and flames begin to consume the tower.

      My mother glares down at me as if I had caused the event by way of pyrokinesis and the ability to control the weather and guide lightning. Her silent accusation increases my focus and the vividness of my dream. (The presence of fire increases the awareness of my conscious self identity.)

      “It’s not my fault,” I say, somewhat hesitantly (with a hint of self-doubt), and I remain unsure if my mother believes me.

      The school setting is relevant to relearning one’s way back to the conscious self identity as in waking life. (This correlates with the subliminal desire to ignite the conscious self awareness for lucidity.) My mother is present by my side as the witness (RAS mediation), as she is the one who usually woke me during early childhood and my school years. The lightning is neural energy that increases awareness in the waking process of which also sometimes serves as a lucidity trigger by liminal intent. The belfry serves as an emerging consciousness representation (rising above the dream), and fire is consciousness.

      Ultimately, this dream is an augmented factor of the “lighting a candle” metaphor to establish lucidity and dream state awareness. Dream control and lucidity are not dependent on each other contrary to popular misconception.

      I believe that I have coherently explained every factor of this dream and its causes and meaning as the emerging consciousness initiation and non-lucid dream control. There was also influence from the Nancy Sinatra song “Lightning’s Girl.” That developed into associations with dream control, as I had imagined controlling lightning as relevant to the song (though this was a childhood misunderstanding as to what the song meant).

      Updated 07-22-2018 at 11:00 AM by 1390

    7. Golden Dragon

      by , 04-11-1971 at 10:11 AM
      Morning of April 11, 1971. Sunday.

      In my dream, my best friend Toby T and I enter the “Castle of Riddles” (which is seemingly modeled after my school and loosely related to “which classroom” I will go into on the second floor - though this changes and it then seems to be set in the basement near my dream’s ending). It actually seems to be part of some sort of (fictional, obviously) new game show for television that is being filmed at one point, though this idea remains more in the background. There were a few versions of this one - one did not have the “game show” atmosphere at all. One even seemed like a slow-motion replay and less vivid, watching disembodied from above the last scene, our bodies appearing somewhat distorted or “warped”. Toby and I are the only human characters present throughout.

      We are each to choose between one of two doors - one of us can only choose one door for ourselves out of required mutual agreement - in other words, each door must be for only one “contestant”. One door supposedly leads to gold coins, the other to “death” (or implied doom or bad fortune). It seems rather strange that my best friend and I are supposedly agreeing to this, but such is the case and I do not seriously reflect on it that much.

      Eventually, I pick the door on the left (numbered “one”) and Toby picks the door on the right (numbered “two”). As soon as I open the door, I find myself falling and sliding down a steep incline of gold coins (possibly an Uncle Scrooge comic book influence). I am very happy, as I look to my right and notice Toby is also sliding down the hill of gold coins at the same speed I am. We joyfully pick up coins as we are sliding and let them flow through our hands. I get the impression that they are golden American coins, though am not sure of the value. We continue to express our happiness as we slide. However, we both hear a loud roar (somewhat lion-like) and notice that, at the foot of the hill of gold coins, is a living golden dragon (that actually seems made of gold but is somehow organic at the same time - there is also an association with a furnace with a dragon-head-shaped door). It seems like we will die (thus to be eaten - though one version has the dragon’s head perpendicular to the direction we are sliding, thus is experienced and unresolved as ambiguous), but I wake up before I reach the open mouth, which in one version (even the original had at least one “reset”), turned out to be a large and stylish antique andiron, and in another version, a large school furnace (the setup actually seeming to take place at West Elementary in one version).

      This dream has the sunrise event rendered as a golden dragon that is set to swallow my dream self and my middleman (Toby T). The two doors are a similar dream analogy as an intersection (the concurrent “choice” between dreaming or waking, though here both doors can obviously only lead to waking). Sliding down the hill of coins (a dream sign position that renders my dream self as in a lying-down position) is a redundant coalescence event and in this case it (sliding down) is also a variation of the natural waking mechanism. I wake before the actual point of being swallowed (coalescence of dream self into whole consciousness, which all larger animals typically symbolize).

      Even this dream was precognitive in the sense that I saw a comic book story with some of the same elements and names after my dream (which happened fairly often though is more correctly called “postcognition” in cases when something has already been published). A Harvey comic book story seen later related to Casper the Friendly Ghost and involved characters trying to decide which of two doors to open and ending up as “mindless servants” when touching both doorknobs at the same time.

      In my childhood, I was somewhat intimidated by a fifth grade teacher, Mr. F, as well as the “King Midas” story which I despise, as it seems like an attempt to brainwash children into associating money with being “greedy". There was also a story about a treasure being “cursed”; an annoying theme with a “moral” unworthy of a rational human being (especially for these times, as one needs a larger amount of money just to survive at all).

      Updated 06-04-2016 at 09:39 AM by 1390

    8. The Tank and the Hilltop

      by , 04-09-1971 at 10:36 AM
      Night of April 9, 1971. Friday.

      Brenda W, a female classmate and friend (who lived just north of me but on the other side of Highway Seventeen in real life), also often playing a role within the main “mystery girl” composite or “wife-to-be stand-in” - is visiting my home in Cubitis. It seems to be morning, around nine o’clock. Her father is there as well as my father, I think (and perhaps both of our mothers in another area). We are all in my father’s original old room near the southern end of the room close to the windows and more towards the door, I being the only one sitting on the floor. Everyone else is at a table. I talk to her father (who is closest to me, sitting in a chair) about marrying her and he eventually asks me if he can look at my toy plastic army tank. When he looks at it, he accidentally but clumsily breaks the turret off. It is ruined, but I do not show my own anger as I do not want him being angry about his own carelessness by my acknowledgment of it - or perhaps he did it on purpose (this is not certain) - in which case an unpleasant confrontation would ensue. (This is probably a representation of the “defeat” or lack of readiness of my boyish masculine energies by her father - an obvious sort of symbolic “breaking or denial of manhood” or the male member, I suppose.)

      There is another scene where either Brenda or the “mystery girl” (as I only see her in shadowy silhouette for the most part) and I are on a hilltop, either in late afternoon or early evening just as the sun is going down. There is a similar awareness of the animation from “Song of the South” (from 1946). Leaves and flower petals are blowing around us in spirals. It is a very positive feeling. It almost seems like a wedding scene. My real wedding years later was on April 9, which was indeed to the “mystery girl”. Last year on this date (April 9, 1970) was also a marriage-related dream. (On a side note, when I married in real life, there were leaves and petals blowing around in a wind during a mild storm though we were under a shelter in Hervey Bay and the storm stopped immediately after the wedding, which can be seen on the video we have).

      It seems that the toy tank scene of this dream set was partly influenced by an episode of “The Partridge Family”. I was ten and so was Danny Bonaduce on the show. He was mistakenly drafted into the army on this episode by an “infallible” army computer and his mother took him to the induction center and he even goes through the tests because they do not “really” look at him.

      As I carefully go over thousands of heavily documented dreams, I am noticing two things a bit more; one being far more subtle television influence than I originally thought (which seems odd considering the level of synchronicity and even common precognitive associations), and yet two - there being far more unexplainable connections than even I originally thought.

      Updated 07-04-2015 at 12:22 PM by 1390

      non-lucid , memorable
    9. Wed-Nez-Day

      by , 04-07-1971 at 10:43 AM
      Morning of April 7, 1971. Wednesday.

      In real life I had shown a young female teacher, after class, my “How and Why Wonder Book of the Moon”. When she asked “Can I have this?” I thought she meant that she wanted to borrow it for a short time for another class so I said “yes”. Unfortunately, I never saw the book again (so I guess she thought it was a gift). I did not ask her about it and I did not tell either of my parents about the event. (I did have most of the “How and Why Wonder Books” of the time period). I was not angry. I just felt rather strange about the situation. I thought perhaps that I would get it back at the end of the school year but did not. I was always quite passive in the presence of public authority, not because I liked, “appreciated”, or trusted authority in any way - in fact, it was the opposite and I was passive because I saw most such people as unpredictable, unintelligent, and unaware (and likely dangerous at the drop of a hat) except for perhaps a few teachers during my school years, but even then, I strongly sensed their shortcomings and overall incompetence given the circumstances, which often frustrated me but I remained quiet.

      During this time, I thought of the book being returned on “Moon Day”. I had “worked out” that this was the day relating to the moon and had a false memory that the moon was always full on a Monday.

      The main in-dream theme that recurred here for a few weeks was the idea that people only got married on Wednesdays. It became “Wedding Day”, the “long form” of “Wed Day”. In reality, I never did learn how to “mentally say” Wednesday. If I do attempt to actually think of Wednesday as Wednesday, it comes out wrong due to the bizarre and atypical spelling of the word. This stems from earlier years where I never once said (mentally) anything other than WED NEZ DAY. This is why I so quickly learned to spell it (even over incorrectly spelling “what” as “hwat”, “when” as “hwen”, and so on when four years old). To this day, I mentally think “Wed nez day” when I want to write it, knowing the “z” is actually an “s” and then write Wednesday…I wonder if other people do this.
    10. A Trip to the Moon

      by , 03-27-1971 at 03:07 PM
      Morning of March 27, 1971. Saturday.

      A large unknown family (with at least a son and a daughter both around my age) and a lot of items (too many, it seems, as the car seems too weighted down at times) mostly tied over the roof of their pale green station wagon, makes a wrong turn near our house in Cubitis (heading south) and they end up going through our neighbor’s orange grove and then everything (including my home) is somehow on the moon. However, my “home on the moon” is a bit different, though still seems a partial duplicate of my home on Earth. There are no lunar surface features on the in-dream moon except those featured on a small framed picture hanging from the wall in the room with the gorilla later on.

      There is a giant earwig under a large tarpaulin near the entrance to the shed, though the shed seems in a different area of the backyard. It looks out from underneath but does not come out. Its yellow eyes, which are glowing, are the only thing visible in the darkness under the tarpaulin. The appearance and nature of the eyes is actually much like a scene from “Gay Purr-ee” (but with cat’s eyes in the movie scene), thus it is not at all like the eyes of an insect (though which I illogically reason is as such because of its giant size). I believe it came from the scene where the eyes (from the “Money Cat” scenes) are glowing from a storm drain (or at least from a chimney scene if the storm drain idea is a false memory).

      The family walks around, not knowing they are actually on the moon, it seems. They appear to be looking for a hotel or motel on their itinerary.

      A tiny flat plastic figure of a monochrome red “Martian” (I had in real life; a toy figure from a box of cereal, Quisp, I think) moves about as if alive, somewhat insect-like at first, but it is soon actually “full size” in my dream (about two-thirds as tall as I am). However, it later seems to be revealed only as a stage prop, where a couple (unknown) men are pushing it along on small wheels. There is also a vague impression that it is part of a carnival duck shoot.

      I climb up a ladder and look through a glass transom above a locked door, similar to the Rose Street apartment area (but more like a place I lived in years later on King Street). A large gorilla is sleeping on his back on a couch with a Cracked Magazine open over his chest. A longer series of the letter “Z” (of about three different sizes) is actually floating over his head, moving from right to left. For a short time, I also see a floating animated image of a hand saw sawing a small log. He soon wakes and seems annoyed by the noise as well as the sawdust falling on him from his own comic-strip-like sleep balloon. I am not sure if it is a real gorilla seen as is or a gorilla in a costume (odd reasoning). He is aware that other people are trespassing in his home, so we (the family and I) leave the area. We are not threatened or seemingly that endangered and do not see the gorilla again.

      Eventually, we come back to Earth in the car just by driving around the “cow pasture” on the moon (“twin” to the real one, beyond the back of my home). The family never seemed to know or acknowledge that they were actually on the moon, just commenting on some strange areas near my home. They do not believe me when I tell them we had been on the moon, so I show them around and show how things are different (for example, no large gorilla on a couch). They probably are not convinced.
      Tags: earwig, gorilla, moon
    11. "The Dead One" - A closer look at another childhood dream

      by , 02-13-1971 at 08:13 AM
      Night of February 13, 1971. Saturday.

      Brenda W, a female classmate I was fairly close to, and who lived just north of me in Florida, turned out to seem to also be some sort of dream symbol and remarkable catalyst for my future wife (there seemed nothing like this for the “other” - Susan R - although she was already present in my life at the time, so did not need a precognitive or anachronistic catalyst, I guess). There is a lot of evidence for this as well as some pretty strange synchronicity on top of precognitive aspects over a longer time period, some now just coming to light which I will add here, as in all honesty “it never ends” as the deeper I look the more “impossible” synchronicity unfolds, in layers, going far beyond being mathematically possible by chance alone.

      In the first part of my dream, which seems to be taking place fairly late at night, I go to Brenda W’s house with a larger bouquet of flowers to give to her. As I am walking along, I horrifyingly notice that a yellow bulldozer had ran over and killed her just prior to my arriving, possibly by minutes (I associated yellow in my dreams with “caution” at the time - as with traffic lights and painted borders on floors for possible hazards). Her right hand, from the lower part of the wrist up, is sticking up from the ground (where there is no grass but a few stones here and there). The rest of her had been covered up. I am in awe over the melancholy scene. My dream fades or shifts into the next scene…

      I am at the cemetery a few blocks from the school - I had ridden my bicycle past there (instead of taking the school bus most of that year) in real life several years later. In my dream, I am at Brenda’s grave. It seems to be open to display her in almost as a sort of Snow White scenario (or perhaps the grave is not “finished” yet?). It is at one of the graves closer to the road, but as I do not have the luxury yet of knowing the exact location/lot, I do not yet know whose grave it actually was in real life (something I would like to know) as although some cemeteries have exact locations of lot views online, this one does not and I do not quite have enough time to do more extensive research presently.

      I reach down to tentatively touch her and get a strange sensation of sticky cellophane covering her entire form. This fallacy seems somewhat “logical” in my dream. It is a fictional way of preserving her appearance, I suppose, similar to how a poster is laminated to make it last much longer. It is a very sad scene for me. I look upon her laminated body for what seems like a long time before I resign to continuing with my life.

      Later on (seemingly much later in my dream - perhaps two weeks or more), I am walking in the main part of town. I see Brenda, alive and apparently healthy and uninjured, walking around in the distance. I start to approach her, but she runs off (after stopping and watching me for a minute or so as I go closer to her), appearing to be frightened of everything - or perhaps she does not want to be “discovered” (alive again) by anyone who knew her yet. This happens a few times and I am never able to catch up with her or find where she is staying. I see her vanish among smaller groups of people and she always somehow eludes me. Perhaps she is lost and does not know where to go.

      Doing a bit of research, I found a different Brenda W (perhaps her grandmother) in a cemetery near where her family would have originally lived, and that other Brenda died on my wife’s birthday in 1991 - which is the year we first made contact. It was also in block 36, which was the number of my wife’s street address when we first made contact. Layer upon layer, it never ends.

      So, the Brenda W in my dream was running away, perhaps in being a symbol of my future wife, was not to be in my path at that time.

      Oak Ridge link

      The event where I touch Brenda’s “corpse” (the back of her left hand) in her open casket relates to a (subliminal) interest in the nature of sleeping and dreaming and is also a dream sign (as she is in a sleeping position and was likely also asleep at the time of my dream in the same directional orientation - thus on one level, this was likely distorted remote viewing). Additionally, the fact that Brenda; neighbor, friend, and classmate; was the only female as such in my youth that I perceived as dying and coming back to life (in a number of dreams) and who was also confirmed as a “stand-in” for my soulmate Zsuzsanna (other than when my “mystery girl” herself appeared, sometimes distorted into some of Brenda’s features), it speaks volumes.

      Updated 04-24-2017 at 06:38 AM by 1390

      non-lucid , memorable
    12. Through the Keyhole

      by , 01-19-1971 at 11:27 AM
      Morning of January 19, 1971. Tuesday.

      I am looking through a keyhole and see Brenda W, a female classmate and good friend. She is not aware that I am watching. It first seems to be at her house and seeing into her room, but then a little later (“same” keyhole in-dream) at West Elementary School where we are both students. After a short time (perhaps ten minutes), I see “living” totem poles moving about, some of which change into being more human-like at times. There is a red and wider crablike one which reminds me somewhat of a cheap plastic figure from a novelty vending machine.

      One, however, was identical to the “creature” at the end of the “Circle of Fear” television show episode “Earth, Air, Fire and Water” and even had a few identical moments of mood and discovery, sometimes seeming to relate to my own viewpoint. Of course, this was a couple of years before I saw it in real life (before it was even aired on television the first time, in fact, on January 19, 1973). There were a large number of elements of the show that unfolded quite precisely in later years. It was very mysterious and elusive in meaning and the eerie music even touched me at a closer level. One of my favorite quotes is from the show, “Remember the days of plenty; they were good days… there will be good days again”.

      Because Brenda was often a “stand-in” for the “mystery girl” (wife-to-be), the play on “key” seems to be more obvious now that I am much older. Also, a totem pole is a composite of different entities (such as two people being one in marriage).
      Tags: keyhole
    13. King of the Birds

      by , 01-15-1971 at 07:15 AM
      Night of January 15, 1971. Friday

      This is not the same as the “The Buzzard who Would Be King” dream, although it has vaguely similar concept. In this one, I am fully in-dream. I walk out onto the carport in Cubitis, seemingly late at night, and notice that the house seems to be “flying” in the clouds or actually caught up in a twister like a scene from “The Wizard of Oz”. Everything has an “energized” feel, including the very air around me. I am almost lucid, but not quite. A man-sized bird flies suddenly down from the east end of the carport and stands looking at me as with seemingly an intent to “save” me or become my friend. I sense that he is the “king” of the birds. In fact, he even wears a crown. (I assume the bird is male.) I originally believed this bird to be representing a hawk (but could also be a variation on my view of buzzards “dominating” my dreams for a time - this one being far more positive in association). Technically it was modeled after the animated Woggle-Birds from “Jack and the Beanstalk” (1967). The bird does not talk in this dream. This was one of a few dreams I used for my “King of the Birds” story in fifth grade that was “published” in a mimeograph format - and by which Bobby G informed me that “birds can’t talk” while his story was about anthropomorphic trees going to school, getting married, talking, and having babies. This is a good example of the bizarre irony and people I have dealt with all my life. It is the story I autographed for classmate Susan R (the “other” - that is, the only other person in my life whom I had a strange “paranormal” link to in real life).

      There is nothing at all threatening about the dream, either the bird or the strange weather or even being inside a tornado fairly high in the sky (or the thought of it in this dream state, anyway). This is quite possibly an early version or “clue” (of which I had thousands) of the Corona Borealis and Corona Australis plot by way of the meeting of the “birds” from America and Australia according to one source, particularly as a possible Yin force reference relative to the implied spiral of tornadoes in some of my early dreams.
      Tags: carport, hawk, tornado
      lucid , memorable
    14. “Jingle all the waaaaaay…” (Melancholy Dwarf Sings)

      by , 12-23-1970 at 06:23 PM
      Morning of December 23, 1970. Wednesday. (Original data and date validated.)

      Recurring over Christmas holidays during fourth grade. I am at school for some reason during the weekend starting Christmas break. A very short man/elf (who is very old) - or possibly a dressed-up dwarf or midget more “realistically” - is singing “Jingle Bells” very mournfully (dragging out “way” with a very melancholy flow with about three syllables). He used to sing it with great cheer, but his wife, who was three times taller than him (a blue Christmas fairy or whoever) had died the year before. However, in one part of my dream it seems her “spirit” is present and in a happy mood watching him and there seem to be a few other “woodland characters” in the background, possibly to later participate or remain an audience. (The idea for the “blue fairy” as a dream influence may have come from “Pinocchio”.)

      In real life, I had gotten a really long candy-cane-striped pencil with an elf head on the end - not an eraser though, it was made of plastic and cloth - from school as a gift from a teacher. I actually had it for many years, unused.

      Also in real life, I had exchanged gifts at school with Morris E based on name draws in school. I had given him (bought by my mother) a small spinner game with tiny pegs in a plastic box about the size of a deck of cards, and he gave me a pair of very cheap toy plastic handcuffs. However, the handcuffs broke after a very short time before school was out that day (and during the so-called Christmas party). The teacher made us switch back to where we kept our “own” gifts and of course, this made Morris E more of my nemesis than he already was, blaming me for “ruining his Christmas”, something I did not take all that seriously, though. My mother seemed vaguely annoyed at me keeping the gift as well. It is possible the mournful singing dwarf was some sort of representation of Morris in one layer, as he was a “dwarf” of sorts, that is, his growth was stunted and he remained very short as he got older.

      This dream colored my mood, but not in a negative way. It just felt “right” at the time, almost nostalgic (even for a child). I did make the stronger association with a “Christmas dwarf” rather than a Christmas elf.

      Updated 10-11-2015 at 06:26 PM by 1390

      non-lucid , memorable
    15. The Tadpole’s Ghost (in new two tier story format)

      by , 12-21-1970 at 06:21 PM
      Night of December 21, 1970. Monday.

      My older brother Dennis, half-brother on my mother’s side, is visiting my parents and me at our home in Cubitis during his leave during the Vietnam war, in my dream as well as in reality. Also in reality as is recognized in my dream, he had given me a small silver flashlight with a corrugated surface, that was identical to the one he had. My birthday was the day before; December 20th. [Dennis plays the role of “interested witness” in my dream and is the only other human character in this segment.]

      He and I are in my father’s original room at the southwest corner of my Cubitis home. It seems to be very late at night, perhaps around midnight or after. There is a light mist in the room, rising up to just below knee-level. [The appearance of a mist at or near ground-level, especially inside a familiar house, is a very good dream sign, though I do not become lucid.] We are standing close to the large bed (and which has mostly light gray and light blue bedding), almost touching the sides. My brother Dennis is standing on the left of my informal disembodied viewpoint, closer to both the door and the head of the bed as I am looking south towards the jalousie windows which the head of the bed is adjacent to and from my incorporeal perspective of watching myself (which I do not find unusual at all), the other “real” (physical) me being closer to the foot of the bed on my right, the bed perpendicular to the south wall of the room, out from about the middle of the wall. [A bed is another very good and more obvious dream sign, especially when a mist appears around it.]

      A ghostly tadpole, floating in the air, partially transparent and with a hint of blue, about the length of my hand, is hovering and wavering horizontally above the center of the empty bed, and it is looking north towards the foot of the bed as well as alternating glances at us, remaining in position at about two and a half feet from the bed’s surface, reminding me a little of a fluttering pennant. [“See, I am like a ship’s pennant, fluttering above a bed in a room of mist, marking the platform of your induction, so take notice of me, do you not see you are in a dream?”]

      This ghostly tadpole is my secondary conscious self presence within my dream, projected here as the flying symbol of dream state immersion and waking transition, downsized and rendered as not yet an adult frog to remind me I am still a boy. It speaks to me of coalescence, impossibly “swimming” fairly high above the implied surface of a pond or other body of water; as such, rising above the awareness of a typical dream, and as a result, my dream almost reaches apex lucidity and becomes nearly as vivid as real life.

      Both Dennis and I are shining flashlights at it and around it and watching its big eyes dart from side to side, as I remain with a feeling of awe and wonder, watching how the light reacts to various aspects of its partly reflective wavering body. Its mouth also makes fish-like movements the whole time. My brother is talking about it in detail and making other comments. I catch the word “weird” a few times but not much else. [The flashlight is the power of the whole conscious self, shining light and awareness into the dream state, and in addition to this being my primary conscious self essence, it also signifies the inevitability of sunrise and daylight - that which dissolves the most vivid of dreams.]

      Time passes and the hovering ghostly tadpole eventually quickly turns (after seemingly deciding if he wanted to go into Dennis’s flashlight or mine) and suddenly “swims” into my flashlight, following the ray of light that my flashlight emits, yet my flashlight goes out as my dream eventually “darkens” and I wake with somewhat of a curious awareness and puzzlement. I get an impression that Dennis will be puzzled by my flashlight no longer working as I come out of an odd half-awake state.

      …and thus my dream ends, the small “undeveloped” (not yet a frog) ghost of my dream self projection, incomplete threads of conscious puzzlement and limited identity, the “haunted” nature of “unraveled” conscious attentions, deciding to coalesce back into the light of day, the tool and form of whole consciousness, the flashlight, the ray of rationality, the flight of the waking, half-aware self back to the source and out of the dream state. There is only one additional detail. My flashlight really did stop working that morning, which puzzled my brother greatly. The batteries were new. Perhaps the bulb burnt out. I did not drop it, but it never worked again.

      Updated 03-24-2016 at 02:32 PM by 1390

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