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    My Father, and a Squid Living in a Mattress

    by , 03-10-2018 at 09:20 AM (74 Views)
    Morning of March 9 2018. Friday.



    My father is alive and appears as he was in the 1960s. I do not remember that he died in 1979. I am also not at all aware of my current conscious self identity. My age may be implied to be about thirty. I ride around in a car with him in late morning. The driver’s side is on the left, implying America.

    There are a few repeated scenes. We mostly visit apartment buildings where gangsters supposedly live. No one is around but us until the last scene.

    My father punches a wall and creates the impression of dampness and marks like small squid tentacles instead of fingers.

    At one point, I watch a waterbed wiggle. A large squid apparently lives inside the mattress and the movement of the mattress’s surface is caused by this otherwise unseen squid. I am briefly, though not viably aware that I am dreaming, and I consider if this scene is autosymbolism as relating, as a precursor, to hypnopompic kicks (as did my donkey inside a mattress dream from Christmas of 2016, which crosses my mind as such very vaguely and briefly).

    In the last scene, my father and I are standing in a hallway where a curtain is drawn across one area. An unfamiliar male moves the curtains aside and says my father has a doctor’s appointment.



    Water usually represents, as autosymbolism, the essence of sleep, dream state induction (in fact, my most common form of induction since early childhood, occurring at least once every sleeping period), and the absence of emotion in unconsciousness. I suspect, curiously enough (from personal evidence), at least on one level, that a squid has something to do with augmented sexuality, however, as related to dream state reinduction (as a subliminal directive) rather than waking life. The problem with pretending that dreams are symbolically about waking life is in ignoring how the fictitious non-lucid dream self (personified subconscious, which lacks temporality and intelligence) is not the conscious self and that, even when non-lucid, I typically seek the understanding of the dream state rather than waking life, to develop clarity of mind. Plus, dreams are primarily autosymbolic in symbolizing the nature of biology, vestibular system ambiguity, transitions in unconsciousness, and consciousness reascension, so how could they viably relate to waking life in the way many people seem to believe (other than when additionally prescient or as literal carryovers)?

    Other than being autosymbolic of the usual RAS mediation and the emergent consciousness factor (by way of preconscious personification), the last part of my dream regarding the doctor (looking into my dream self’s essence through the curtains, which is autosymbolism for the liminal space of the waking transition) is possibly literal and reflects my occasional focus on mortality, though hopefully not literally prescient yet. From experience, I know that my father now often represents my current conscious self identity even if it is otherwise not extant in the dream state. Still, I really had to go upon waking, and as a waterbed mattress is called a “bladder”, there may be a connection, though I had a dream about a squid on a mattress in 2015, and although there were pools of water on the bed, it was not a waterbed. Incidental associations are probably enough to trigger such a dream, though, especially in punching a wall (vaguely influenced by the 1980s movie “Altered States”), with a wall representing the autosymbolic barrier between fictitious dream self identity and conscious self identity.


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