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    Blue_Opossum

    Texas winter wonderland and “dying” relative

    by , 12-29-2013 at 06:29 PM (360 Views)
    Morning of December 29, 2013. Sunday.



    Unfortunately, relating to my sister, this dream turned out to be precisely precognitive - in several different ways regarding other aspects as well.

    For some reason that has no real-life logic or associations whatsoever, my family and I seem to be driving through the middle of Texas, USA (possibly Austin at one point but towards Abilene) with an unknown male (relative?) Although it seems to be near the center of the state eventually, there is a fictional place where Texas and three other states join perfectly in the middle - which makes such little sense, I wonder why I did not see the erroneous “logic” right away - how can a state have a place in the middle of its large area (miles and miles from any border) where it is the intersection of four states? Ridiculous. At one point, there is a huge dome-like structure of ice that covers seemingly the entire region (but perhaps represents where the fictional state borders connect), but is not that high in the air. Near the center is a five-pointed-star-shaped opening to the sky, it seems. There is another area where a similar structure, or set of structures made of ice are seen. Ice and snow everywhere in Texas (as in the far north), four joining borders in the center of a larger needfully borderless region. Weird and entirely without sense. Oh well.

    The other dream is quite moody and serious. It seems my sister is in the state of dying, but also seems like an entirely different person for much of the time in terms of appearance. She is still alive as of this writing, but has had a lot of health-related problems over the years, many related to smoking and being overweight. At one point, she looks like a taller Caucasian woman (possibly English) of about seventy or more, with light hair and a longer and more angular face than my sister ever had. My wife and I are at her home. It seems like the house will be ours at one point (inherited, apparently), which makes no sense, as my sister rented that place and no longer lives there (Loomis Street). I start thinking about planning to move all of our possessions to the USA somehow. At one point, I am wondering what had happened to my brother-in-law. However, there is an even stranger distortion. My sister, in my dream, is seemingly married to my wife’s step father even though he would be much younger (although in real life, this parallels my wife’s “disturbed” mother - who went after him when he was a younger teenager and when she was fairly old and not only did not get arrested, but two of her children are his - the things she has gotten away with in her lifetime are beyond what most people could imagine - although it is possible this dream relates to her present circumstances in some way, but I have not seen her in years, thankfully).

    At one point I see him leaning over her as she is on her back on a mattress on the floor near the doorway to the kitchen (almost fully to the northwest corner, but with a bit of space at the implied foot of the mattress). It first seems that she has died and I feel a strange sadness. However, she is only in the stage of wanting/waiting to die. At one point, when I am near them, I tell both of them that they are not who they are supposed to be and that I do not know them - and almost become a bit more semi-lucid than I had been to that point, but not fully aware. I notice that she has strange marks all over her stomach and arms - seemingly stretch marks from rapid weight lost (at first). However, they actually look more like some sort of smaller and large number of reddish bird-beak-shaped scars (sideways bird-beak-like, yet sort of like compressed, symmetrically paired “W” shapes) that are slightly more fleshy or raised in the center, much like a livestock brand in which the skin has since become more loose. The wrinkled wounds seem to mean something else relating to her illness or advanced age but still seem to have something to do with weight-loss or the body “shrinking” somehow.

    Curiously enough, they remind me of a dream of way back when I was a younger teenager - “The Butterfly People” - about a group of people - a family - who had butterfly-shaped welts all over their bodies. They lived in caves and seemed somewhat dangerous to other (“normal”) people and possibly somewhat cannibal-like. My dream had nothing to do with butterflies, really.

    At a later point, she is sitting up on the end of the mattress closest to the kitchen doorway. I do not see the other male. At this point, she looks a little more like my sister again, but fairly thin. I am concerned but she seems resigned to her circumstances and seems to want no sympathy at all regarding the “wearing out” of her body and health (and actually seems angry at the potential of recovery or living longer). “I am waiting to go to Hell,” she states seriously, and confidently, with an angry tone relating to her body “expiring” and implying that she, as a conscious being, will still continue to exist (possibly forever) in such a place - but obviously does not seem keen on the idea - although it is not quite at all sure what “Hell” would be like (or maybe she is talking symbolically, unsure, but she does seem to think her existence will continue somehow - apparently ALL people go to Hell when they die as a “natural order” of things - still being trapped within the dynamics of their last physical illness - or maybe it is a connection to those commonly deemed “insane” Jack Chick Christian comics I had the misfortune to read years ago, which were weirder and more unrealistic than the horror comics of the day) - assuming she is even referring to one of the various Christian theories (none of which I remotely believe in). This is rather odd, as it is very unlike me to have Christian mythology in dreams in a more “serious” way (usually “devils” and such are associated with the comic book character “Hot Stuff” and little more, although medieval dragons have always been an “enemy”, but now only appear as cartoon-like rough sketches, usually with broken or incomplete lines). This is not a nightmarish scenario, just a bit unsettling and very vivid in terms of environmental focus and detail. However, not much drama happens after this and it actually does seem to carry and odd awareness of an old Jack Chick tract I read on the school bus as a boy - and wondered how human beings could actually believe in such things.

    From here, though, I end up in a tulpa-based dream of primarily a happy mood, moving towards bliss and sensual ecstasy, in an unfamiliar area with several other younger people, mostly Japanese. It is a smaller building with an arced roof of an unknown purpose - almost like a very small aircraft hanger. I am aware that a dinosaur, a tyrannosaurus, is just outside and could easily put his head down and through the open end of the hall-like structure (and even quickly eat me), but does not. I am not concerned at all. In fact, I actually contemplate creating a drama by willing the dinosaur to cause trouble or to damage the building (even to chase me around a bit), but that thought does not fully materialize, so to speak. The big dinosaur just walks around outside and causes no trouble. I am not lucid, yet I still seem to have an amazing focus over elaborate thought-control and related detail at this point. I hold a version of my wife close and intimately and we speak of getting married soon as if we only met that week. It seems very harmonious and personal even though there are others standing around in the building. No one else seems concerned about the large dinosaur just outside the large entrance. It almost seems like a “left-over” from someone else’s dream that had not fully unfolded.

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