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    The Worst Comic Book Ever

    by , 11-08-2015 at 09:04 PM (589 Views)
    I dreamed about 3 planets. One was Earth and one was Mars, maybe the third was actually the moon? Anyway, Mars and another one were revolving around Earth, and they all had personalities (which I don't remember anything about) and were having some kind of conversation that I don't recall. Except maybe Mars was jealous of something?

    Then I dreamed about... a house that only had a living room and kitchen... and there was an underground part to it, like a basement. The basement was dark and full of buried zombies. They were marked by little circular markers on the floor that were digital markers, and you could navigate through them with something that looked like a mouse pointer cruising on the surface of the ground. But if you got too close to or hit one of the markers, then the zombies would all awaken, and you'd have to fight all of them at once. Some other person (I don't recall what they looked like or sounded like, or if they even had a physical appearance at all) was telling me that he wasn't as good at it as I was. I tried to cruise between two points, but it woke the zombies up. Then, a team of people - young people, late teens or early twenties - who were sort of like X-men all ran into the basement to fight the zombies. They were all doing this at the behest of an old scientist (no, nothing like Prof. X) who looked a lot like a cross between Bill Nye and Ian McKellen, except much skinnier, and he was dressed in kind of a grey tweed suit...

    Anyway, once the zombies were all defeated, he started to construct an underground complex beneath the house where he would house everybody. Constructing it was kind of like doing so in The Sims 3. Anyway, it was all dark down there, so he added a bunch of lights, and then in the dining hall he started adding fake windows that had lights behind them so it looked like fake sunlight, and then some HD screens that projected pictures of outdoors, so the whole place felt less "underground" and cooped up, and more like a regular above-ground dining room. I recall that it worked out pretty well.

    Then suddenly, there were pigeons everywhere. Just tons of them. And he had a favorite pigeon that did some sort of special thing (I don't remember what) and was super useful. It looked just like a regular gray pigeon. He wanted to breed more of them, because of how super useful this particular pigeon was.

    Then I was standing on the edge of a boat... or maybe a dock... but there was a metal railing. And he had created a new kind of shoe that allowed him to walk on water, as long as he walked very carefully and in a certain way, and he was explaining how revolutionary it was even though I completely understood how important it was to be able to walk on water. I began to think about the possiblities (such as building cities on water) but also how annoying it would be to misstep and suddenly fall into the water.

    And then I was waiting for a bus. I wanted to go to some kind of concert. I think it was for The Village People. I'd asked my boyfriend if he wanted to go, and he said no, which actually kind of surprised me because I thought he loved them. But I decided to go on my own, even though I wasn't sure if there were still going to be tickets available when I got there. Except that the bus I needed to catch disappeared as soon as it pulled up. I remember the bus driver was a lady with short curly hair. I don't remember what she said to me. But suddenly the bus was missing, and I was irritated because I had to wait for the next bus. So the bus pulled up (it was bus 15) and then it disappeared AGAIN. At this point, I was really starting to reconsider going to this concert, especially since I kind of didn't want to go anyway because my boyfriend wasn't coming with me. So I didn't think I'd enjoy it very much, and I'd be pissed if I got there and there were no tickets.

    So while I was waiting, this young-ish woman... late teens/early 20s... started chatting with me, and all she wanted to talk about was some kind of manga/comic book called something like UltraGoth, and which had two of the most annoying main characters I've ever encountered. And it was way overdone, very "buckles and zippers everywhere", and both of them were supposed to be angels or something, and they were involved in a turf war, and one of them was supposed to be something like the king of heaven and the other one hated him. The first guy had super spiky ridiculous looking hair and was shorter. The second one had long hair and was arguably more of an asshole, but not by much. And each issue was just them yelling at each other and having ridiculous battles, Dragon Ball Z style, along with some extremely melodramatic drama thrown in.

    Anyway, she REALLY LOVED THIS COMIC and made me read through an entire issue with her. I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so I suffered through it and pretended that I thought it was an awesome comic book even though it was stupid as hell.

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