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    1. JULY 17th: Planet Ambiria

      by , 07-19-2010 at 10:39 AM
      I was the ambassador from planet Xander(this is a play off my name, 'Ambiria' is a play off of hers).

      Ambi was this short squat angry military commander, and was wearing some crazy Xena armor. Her planet was a powdery purple and the surface looked like the moon, with craters in it. She had a squad of angry feminist generals. You know, the 'men are slaves!' and 'vaginas are magnificent!' cliche. I remember feeling like I was in some pretty hostile territory, and the women were giving me a wrathful eye because of my parts. I was trying to keep the mood light and remember thinking, 'Wow, some verrry hostile vaginas up in here...' Their troops were organized in a standing formation, we had a wide berth, but they were all around us, thousands. The foot soldiers, were men.

      They had been abducted to fight for the feminist army, under the command of the beautiful angry women. Ambi told me that her planet 'needed my DNA'. I asked her why she needed my sperm, and she explained to me that 'relinquishing your DNA shall be for the greater good of all Ambiria- with it we can create clones of one suitable man, and we can genetically alter him to be more subservient to us as well, and he will be the best putty from which to create the perfect soldier. We will no longer need to force other planets to... persuade... other planets to surrender their newly mature males to us.'

      At this point the foot soldiers all around us, all men, also began giving me the evil eye, angry that I'd been 'chosen' by the commander instead of them. Some of them were jeering about how skinny I was, and what a shitty soldier clones of me would make, and they should beat me up, and things. One of the generals shouted 'SILENCE! Or there shall be PAIN!' And all of the men hushed, but continued to stare me down. I asked her why she couldn't just splice DNA from one of her warrior princess generals. She told me 'No! Our soldiers must be men! Women are fit to rule, men know how to follow orders! No self respecting: Ambirian woman would allow herself to be a foot soldier, it is a waste of her intellect!'

      I 'paused' the scene.

      I said 'hang on, Ambi, can we talk for real for a second?' 'What's up, Alex?' 'What do you think all of this means? I mean I can try to interpret it later, and see what J thinks, but I wanna know what you think. But not your waking self, because I don't wanna deal with it, and there are things I can't say to her, because it's just bullshit drama, and I hate that.' 'Well, what do you think it means?'

      'I dunno. It's very weird. I mean, what's with the angry man-hating women who think men 'should be slaves'? If this is all coming out of my subconscious, doesn't it imply in some way that I think women are evil, or... I don't get it. It seems kind of misogynistic, and I worry about that. I don't want to be one of those asshole fucktard misogynistic guys. Is this what I really think about them?'

      'Well obviously Alex, this dream just symbolizes that you're refusing to be my boyfriend because you're afraid of commitment, because you're immature. You're just like every other boy, you want an 'open relationship' to cover up that you're just scared shitless of actually committing to me like you're supposed to!' 'What??' ''poly' my ass! You're monogamous like everyone else, you're just too chicken!'

      I stuck my finger in her face and said, 'No, you listen here, you stupid ass- I am NOT letting you put that on me, it's classic. 'I want you to worship only me, so if you don't it's because you're a sissy bitch'?! No. Nuh uh. Fucking no. You are such a manipulative little bitch, and you know what? I can't have this conversation with you in person, because your dream self I can bitchslap into oblivion and not care, but in person? YOURE the one who's too much of a pussy to DEAL with how shit really works!''If I talked to your face how I'm talking now, how I really feel half the time, you'd cry and cry and be so hurt, and I would fucking hate myself and regret it and be fucked up for so long, and the damage wouldn't be WORTH IT. I hate this!'

      She continued trying to correct me and explain again, because I 'didn't get her point', which was that I was supposed to be monogamous with her, and 'treat her right'. I really hate that I tried to ask for her opinion on themes and symbolism within the dream, and she just twists it to talk about her personal needs and how I'm not fulfilling them, which is completely irrelevant. I'm being kinda 'deep' and shit and she's all 'wahh!'

      We went back and forth like that for a bit, me trying to talk about something 'deep', and her saying something self serving and annoying in response. She kept trying, in vain, to 'connect' what I was saying, to what she was saying. i.e., 'so I think I might be dehydrated because the temperature has been up lately causing...' 'it's because you aren't treating me right!' 'that isn't relevant.' 'yes, it is, let me explain...the temperature correlates to.. how you feel about me, and it's... like, rising, which is causing the air to dry out, so it's sapping moisture from your skin, because you aren't closer to me.'

      MJ: That's what the dream means, though. The dream is a situation that's familiar to you. You walk into a planet unsuspectingly as a diplomat, and you're faced with a demand and hostility, tangentially involving gender. The "evil feminists" are there because Ambi seems to be of that opinion, because she keeps erecting barriers between you and "real men", cisguys. Ambi leads them, of course. And the "soldiers" are ephemeral partners of Ambi, who do as instructed. But only your sperm is the kind she wants, because it carries the genetic information to make her children "easily controllable". When you try to talk to Ambi about this, she says the same thing. She demands you stop resisting and commit to her, i.e. surrender. The second part is you going "Whoa I don't get this" so your subconscious runs over the same material again, as a dialogue. Your subconscious is sketching an image of Ambi as someone who needs to be the 'center' of a relationship, and who wants to be served.