false awakening

To preface this, I have to admit that I didn't really lucid dream on acid. This would probably be even more fascinating, if it wasn't for the inability to sleep while under the influence of such substances. Sorry for the clickbait-ish title - I just had to call it this.

Anyway, it all started with a long non-lucid dream with the usual mess of changing people, places and storylines. At some point I ended up observing a plot in which a teenage girl dosed her unprepared friend with LSD, who was then having a difficult time... The story ended and it turned out that I had been watching a video on youtube. I proceeded to some music when I suddenly saw myself in a reflecting surface and noticed my own huge pupils. This made me "remember" that I (too?) was on acid (yeah, that's obviously how this usually works *facepalm). I just laid back and enjoyed the effects which mainly consisted of some strange visual phenomena and a pleasurably relaxed, slightly confused headspace.

At some point I "woke up" and wondered how I could have fallen asleep in the first place and that it was too early to wake up, that I should still be tripping. Nonetheless, I went into the living-room where I found my niece. This seemed even weirder as I knew she was away for holiday. While hugging her I pinched my nose...and could still breath. Now, this seemed to clear things up for me. Gravity disappeared and we both started floating upwards, until we went straight through the ceiling. Suddenly, I was alone again, now floating in a gray mist. I wondered what to do now... While I was perfectly aware of my current dream state, I still took the previous events as waking reality. And so I ended up believing that I was indeed lucid dreaming on acid...

Under these circumstances I thought that I'd be able to conjure up almost anything - which I normally fail to do. So, I just asked my subconscious to take me to a beautiful place. At first, everything turned dark but I waited patiently (despite questioning if this would work). Then, an intense sensation of being accelerated built up throughout my body. I felt like being shot out of a canon, flying through darkness. Slowly surroundings began to form again. I was flying at breakneck speed along a street with forest on both sides. When I was nearing a bend, I slowed down and finally came to a halt. There it was: A mountain lake shimmering in the sunlight, surrounded by trees of the darkest green and huge mountains to either side. I was in complete awe, both by the sight and that this all was even possible.

Then, I was accelerated again and taken to another mountain road with a picturesque hotel. The surroundings reminded me of a real place with a huge volcanic crater nearby through which I always wanted to fly in a lucid dream. So, I just went into that direction. When I crossed the ridge, my wish was fulfilled and I could indeed fly through this amazing landscape that almost looked like a canyon. With an euphoric feeling of freedom I navigated through the changing scenery.

When I came closer to the other end, I started waking up...and slowly realized that it all - also the first part - had been a dream. The whole story made me laugh quite a bit.
My two take-away messages are: Even if one is lucid enough to be aware of the own dream state, memory and rational thinking can stil be heavily impaired. And, the limitations that I experience in lucid dreaming (and analogous in waking reality) are ultimately only self-imposed.

First entry this year - first proper lucid dream in the last 6 months (well, there also was one last week I may or may not write about later as it was so confusing).

Slept for about 4 hours, woke up and couldn't fall back asleep for a long time. Set some intention to lucid dream during this as I knew it would increase my chances. When I finally got to sleep again, a confusing mess of dreams ensued...One was a false awakening I didn't recognize. I got up feeling extremely groggy with a very limited control over my actions and emotions. I tried to communicate my strange state to the dream characters a.k.a. my family but words were just as hard to use.
At some point I woke up again, now with a far clearer head. Everything seemed normal and I was certain of being awake now, but with the memory of the false awakening that just occured I wanted to make absolutely sure with a reality check. So I pinched my nose and took a breath. Wait a moment, this is not how this should work. This means....I'm dreaming still!
Almost immediately all perceived gravity vanished and I began floating around the house. There were again some family members there but they didn't seem to care about my new form of moving around. Instead they were talking loudly about every-day stuff. I ignored them.
When I got to a window I simply floated through it. But when I wanted to fly higher there again was the ceiling above me and I was back inside. At first I wanted to leave through the roof now but didn't feel quite sure about that so I chose to use the window again. Suddenly I was back outside. The dream environment was certainly somewhat unstable.
Anyway, I didn't have a particular plan for this lucid dream and so I just kept flying (far better than walking in my opinion ;) ) to see where it would take me. I made my way through the well-known neighborhood, once again admiring the detail of my mind's creation, also looking for differences to waking reality. Of course there were some, but while in the dream I was quite oblivious to these.
Then, I got to a forest and reassessed what I wanted to do. I found a path getting narrower in the distance and a thought crossed my mind: If I follow this path to its end I'll meet my embodied subconscious there.
Before I could even set out though, the dream just fell apart and left me wide awake.

First true LD in over two months. No techniques used, no intention set, completely random.

In an ordinary non-lucid dream I somehow gained some awareness of my dream state but couldn't hold onto it. I faded in and out of lucidity and dreaming several times until I laid down and kinda WILDed in the dream - this has worked for me before.
A brief falling sensation and I 'awoke' on the sofa in my parents' living-room. Instead of doing a physical reality check I reminded myself that I wasn't sleeping in this place. It was pitch black and the dream rather unstable so I kneed down and touched my surroundings. As always, everything felt hyper-realistic but I still couldn't see a thing, so I crawled across the room towards the door.
Suddenly my parents' cat appeared in the dark (well, for her it wasn't dark...) and attacked my bare arms. I set the rebellious cat aside and finally left through the front door. Outside, it wasn't any brighter, so I went on feeling my way forward.

As I reached the street suddenly my vision got unlocked and I was standing in bright daylight with detailed surroundings. I wondered what I should do with my lucidity now...and longed for something intense. Flying? Nope, not stable enough. Then I knew...I had to kill my self here (*).
At the end of the road a woman started her car on the driveway and to the right there was a strange kind of agricultural vehicle with lots of sharp blades. I walked towards the car, staring fearlessly at the woman, wondering if she would fulfil my unspoken wish.
She looked confused and increasingly insecure, and I understood that I had to take things in my own hands. Without hestitating I ran the last meters and jumped straight into the machine's razor-sharp front.
No pain but a rush of adrenaline through my body... and I was awake.

(*) Note for anyone reading: This should be taken metaphorically; I'm not suicidal. Currently going through a major transformation process due to some other experiences so I'm getting quite a few metaphors about dying at the moment.

Again, only unintentional WBTB and intention to lucid dream.

In the following sleep cycle I first got into a non-lucid dream but with ever-increasing awareness. When I reached lucidity I seemingly woke up but immediately recognized the false awakening. Getting up and moving was a little difficult, though also incredibly realistic. I was at my parents' house and slowly walked through the dark deserted rooms. At the front door I used the key to open the door though I'd normally just walk through it - the dream was so vivid and yet unstable that I wasn't sure about passing though objects.
Outside it was a bright, warm summer day. The trees on the left were incredibly coloful with red and purple fruits, swinging in a gentle breeze. The wind also blew my long hair into my face which had - surprisingly - a dark-red color. I decided to go into the garden because I expected it to differ from reality - which it then did of course. It resembled the gardens of a palace with lots of water areas and a fountain in the middle.
I thought it would be interesting to drink from the fountain and tried to make a glass appear - didn't work, but whatever. To get to the fountain, I needed to balance on a swimming log. This again felt so incredibly real that I got lost in thoughts about it - and woke up.

I was still close to dreaming, maybe even in sleep paralysis, and so I just let myself sink back in. Some dreamlets washed over me without letting me enter until one of them opened wider and wider. I got to observe a scene where a black car was chased by the police, driving on a bridge high above the sea. In the car there was a dream character that was me, and a partner. They came to a stop, having trouble with their car. Another police car arrived and barred the way. I was still observing, though maybe influencing the plot, when the 'me' in the car decided to take the only way out - to jump with the car from the bridge.
I saw the car falling down and into the water. Reminding me that this was just a dream, I took my place down there. Now, I was suddenly swimming underwater. Of course I knew that I could still breath and I did - but every breath was difficult as it was accompanied by a sting of fear.
In large circles I was diving deeper and deeper until suddenly all water was gone. Otherwise, the surroundings were still the same - now looking like a vast hall. The floor was cluttered with balls and balloons of different colors and sizes. One of them was special: it was filled with what looked like confetti. My partner who had come there with me was trying to cut it open but the material seemed very firm. Someone else told us that there would be knowledge about the universe and about the future in there (okay?!). I took it and pulled (with some difficulty) the plug. Without the chance to do anything else, I woke up.

This was another good example of the sheer weirdness of dreams and also my first time dreaming lucid in third person perspective, interesting!

No techniques used, completely random lucid after ~6 hours of sleep.

Had a long non-lucid dream about wandering around town while being late for work. In the end I ended up on a beach and because I felt extremely tired I laid down on the sand. Immediately, I felt a sinking sensation which I associated with WILD so I got somewhat aware already. I relaxed completely and 'awoke' in my bed the next moment. Being pretty sure of having a false awakening I got up and looked around. My surroundings were more vivid than ever; for further testing I precisely inspected some furniture nearby. I couldn't believe how real everthing felt and looked and RCed to confirm my dream state.

Walking over to the window I now saw differences to reality. There was a large window facade and I looked down into a sort of foyer with another wall consisting of glass. Down there was a DC with a bike trying to leave the building through the glass wall but couldn't get through. Thinking to myself that I'll succeed where he failed I passed through the windows (though they seemed solid at first) and slowly floated down. I tried to remember what I had planned to do next in a lucid dream but my memory was largely inaccessible. Only some tasks of the year came to my mind, so I proceeded to fly away from here. Outside I somehow found myself in my parents' garden - but a version from more than ten years ago. Suddenly, flying felt physically exhausting (what kind of nonsense in a dream...) and I woke up.

No techniques used, just had some intention and slept an hour longer than usual.

In a normal dream some seven hours after first going to bed I slowly realized that I was dreaming and that I could take control. When I was fully lucid I "woke up" in my bed though, but by RCing I caught the false awakening. Trying to get up I noticed that I could barely move. So, I carefully rolled to the side and put my feet on the floor. I still couldn't stand up and so I let myself slide to the floor next to the bed. I hoped to gain more control over my dream body when getting further away, so I crawled through the room. This felt kinda strange because I could move through the furniture to some extent. Somehow I came to imagine being in a transparent sphere which I could roll by pushing the sides. Like this, I moved around a bit until I awoke again in the bed.

I RCed again just to be sure and surprisingly I was still dreaming (I could have guessed because I heard someone snoring in the other room - with nobody there). Realizing I was still too groggy to go anywhere I sat up and simply meditated. Everything got completely still immediately. Then, I woke up for real.

No techniques used. Woke up one hour before having to get up but went straight back to sleeping (with the slightest thought of LDing). I was dreaming a lot and quite intensely the whole morning.

When I was just following a person into a dark tunnel, I suddenly thought: "When I know this is a dream, I can as well go lucid" (great logic, I know) - and well, I did. I opened a heavy steel door and crawled on my hands and knees into the tunnel. It was pitch black in there and (not surprisingly) I 'woke up'. After confirming the false awakening I crossed my bedroom to leave through the window. I jumped outside but awoke once again in my bed. This time I wasn't sure of being still in a dream but I went to the window again and put my head against it. It dissolved right in front of me, so I could get outside through what felt like viscous air.

Almost automatically I started floating some feet above the ground. I thought of flying high into the sky but decided to first look around. All around me there were fields of strange crops. This made me think of the TotM (Eat an alien mushroom...) and I looked in more detail. On the right there were large bundles of green plants; on the left glass covers with small light and dark brown pebbles(?) stacked beneath them. Everthing was nicely arranged with hedges etc. I moved on, looking for something mushroom-like. I came to a large shelf with precious looking objects in it. Being sure to find what I'm searching for in there, I soon spotted something looking like a small alien's head. Almost laughing I realized that my subconscious obviously interpreted the word 'alien' a bit too literally in the meaning it is used in my native language - for extraterrestial creatures. I took the 'alien mushroom', broke off small pieces and tasted them: They weren't delicious, rather stodgy and dry. Then, I paused a moment to see if something weird would happen: Nothing extreme so far, but everthing was vibrating slightly. I proceeded to eat some more but unfortunately my alarm clock went off and I lost the dream.

Being stuck at home so much at the moment is really messing with my lucidity (or maybe my intention to lucid dream). But I'm slowly getting back into it; some short (semi-)lucid experiences and one incomplete WILD in the last few days. Now, the first full lucid dream in more than a month - even if it was very short.

Woke up after only 3 hours of sleep and didn't feel sleepy at all. Took this as an opportunity to experiment once again, and put myself into a state of deep hypnosis. Used this to work through some things and progressively got more relaxed, after some time I fell back asleep. Next thing I remember is waking up again and thinking: "There'll probably be false awakenings....Like this?!"
I tried to RC but everything was already so strange that the dream state was obvious: Looking around my field of view appeared somewhat limited and the whole room was tilted by 45°. Nevertheless, I got up and walked towards the door. This was quite difficult because I felt very groggy. I noticed my mother sitting on my bed and asking if I wasn't able to sleep (again...).
Next, I felt pretty lightweight and so I started floating through the house. Once again I was astonished how realistic everthing can seem, e.g. when I slightly pinched my fingers in a door. Then, I got to the entrance and - without hestitation - proceeded to jump straight through the door. Interestingly, some part of me was surprised and got really scared by this action. I heard myself utter a fearful sound but didn't produce this neither in the dream nor in reality - as I woke up right away.

Chaos. Memorable moments. Lots of false awakenings, 3 LDs. No techniques used, just enough sleep after a short night before.

In the fourth sleep cycle (probably) I had a long dream of some action movie stuff. It wasn't lucid but there was an ever increasing underlying knowledge of being in a dream. When I was driving in a car in an obviously unrealistic setting (jumping across a large gap) it suddenly clicked and I felt lucidity setting in. I remembered to try rubbing my hands together to stabilize the dream and did so. Everything I was looking at got crystal clear and I got even more conscious, too. Maybe I was too aware because the dream ended shortly after. It was so short I'll not even count this as full lucid dream.

In the next sleep cycle I had another long non-lucid dream where I was at my old school. After some time I realized that it wasn't normal for cars driving around the school office and down the stairs (btw, what's going on with cars this night?!). I wasn't fully lucid up to now but as I went down the corridor my awareness increased. I went towards my former classroom and greeted some classmates on the way. All of them were very friendly which is rather rare amongst my DCs (when I'm lucid). In the classroom there were lots of people, a wild mix from different times of school, university and work. Most of them were no close friends or I didn't remember their names at all, so I looked out for more familiar faces. Turning around I found an old friend I've lost contact to since then. I went towards her and hugged her; she wouldn't let go for quite some time.
Then, I remembered that I planned to have some deeper conversations with DCs and - in this setting - I thought it would be a good idea to have a philosophy lesson next. The dream obeyed: one of my former philosophy teachers walked through the door (not the one I had expected but still). Sadly I never got to discuss anything there as I woke up.

I'm not sure how much time passed but eventually I found myself back in bed apparently awake but suspecting a false awakening. I did the nose pinch RC repeatedly but the results weren't clear, breathing was quite difficult. Then I noticed my mother standing in the room talking to me which was rather unlikely but no clear indication either. I needed to prove my dream state somehow and swung my arms forwards - they went right through her body. Now I could be sure and she disappeared.
I was walking towards my computer when everything changed all of a sudden. It's somewhat hard to describe but it felt as if I went through different dream settings one after the other at light speed. I couldn't notice any details as it changed too fast; they were just like three dimensional pictures raining on me or maybe I was travelling through these 'rooms'. Perhaps this is similar to what people experience when they talk about seeing their life flash before their eyes, I can't tell.
Anyway, I knew this would be a chance to dive deeper into my subconscious. After some moments my travel came to an end and I found myself standing on a deserted street. A female soldier was walking towards me in a resolute manner, holding something in her hand. I somehow knew what had to be done to go deeper: I had to die.
She got closer and I tried to remain as calm as possible as she stabbed me with the dagger in her hand. There was no pain, I simply sank to the ground. Suddenly I was back at my computer and it felt as if I was only playing a video game. But here I too got down onto the floor and died.
Then, I was back in bed. I RCed again, this time clearly indicating the false awakening, though moving my arm felt far too real. I was in a weird state of consciousness and so it was easy to let go and continue on my previous path. The surroundings changed and I was standing on top of a skyscraper. Once again I knew what to do: this time I had to jump down.
But I never got to do it as something else got in the way. With every step I took towards the abyss I felt more and more (sexually?) aroused. This has never happened before in a LD. It was an utterly primal feeling and in the end it got almost too intense. I woke up with my whole body tingling.

Unintentional WBTB of 2 hours after ~5 hours of sleep. Already expected this leading to a LD, didn't take long...
At first I had an annoying non-lucid dream in which I got more and more conscious over time. In the end I went kinda lucid while having breakfast with some family members in a gym, but I kept slipping in and out of the dream. As I was rather stressed out due to previous events I wanted to calm down and so I imagined the tea I was just drinking to have relaxing psychoactive properties. The effect hit me immediately and was way stronger than I had expected; I felt a huge shift in my awareness. I wonder what kind of chemicals my brain did release here.
Next, I was back in my bed and for some moments I can't say for sure what was real and what was not. When I felt our cat licking my left arm I realized I must already be dreaming because she couldn't be around. I got up and looked around, it was pitch dark so I decided to go outside. I wanted to leave trough the window/wall but - once again - things seemed solid, it even hurt a bit running against the wall... To convince myself of being in a dream (which I doubted after that) and to increase lucidity I RCed in the most mindful manner. It worked and I could successful jump out of the window. On the other side I somehow kept floating a metre above the ground. I just stayed up in the air and carefully flew around the garden outside. Looking down I realized how absurdly real my surroundings seemed once again, except that they were more colorful than in reality. I flew through some branches of a large tree and dove down onto the ground to pick some flowers. Then, I pondered what to do next - and felt the dream fading.

After several days of being sleep deprived this was my first night of getting enough sleep again. So, I wasn't completely surprised when I had a couple of false awakenings in the last sleep cycle. As far as I remember I recognized all of these sooner or later but every time I went lucid the dream would reset to waking up in bed (at my parents' house). There I was hardly able to move most times, with both the dream and my lucidity being somewhat unstable. After some repetitions this got quite frustating.
Annoyed I fought my way out of bed and crossed the room. All I wanted to do then was get outside, so I just walked on to the wall. Furniture got in the way, so I simply said 'everthing is immaterial' and went right through. I got outside but it was very dark and the dream started to collapse. Quickly I got down on my hands and knees, running my fingers through the grass.
At this point the dream reset again and I was suddenly on my bed, still on hands and knees and feeling the grass beneath me. Somehow my vision and sense of touch got out of sync here. Otherwise the stabilization technique worked, the dream felt stable and I was completely lucid at last. Sadly, my alarm went off at this point... But this led to a strange, intriguing situation: I was still in the dream, fully aware and hearing the ringing 'from reality'. I wondered if I could just ignore it and carry on but once again I couldn't move anymore, so I gave in and let myself wake up.

Spontaneously got lucid when I was walking down a corridor with a dark carpet (can't remember what happened before). From the distance a well-known person from my field of work was talking to me, offering a closer collaboration on one project. As I got closer I came into a large, strange room like a foyer but all surfaces were glossy white with only some brightly green accents. My colleague was standing there, looking different than in reality. I thanked her for the offer and agreed on her plan, then I walked on towards the entrance.
I went down some white stairs and thought of trying to meditate in the dream, with the TOTM in mind. So I sat down cross-legged but I hadn't considered the slippery, tilted floor that made me slither towards the doors. I moved a little to the side and tried again, simply sitting down and focusing on my breath. As soon as I did so, things got intense fast. My surroundings dissolved almost immediately and I started spinning in all directions through space and time. Next I focused onto my feelings, and all I felt was a strong sense of certainty.
Then I was back in bed, seemingly awake as everything was far too real. Of course I was still dreaming.

Woke up after ~8 hours of sleep but still felt tired. While falling back asleep I made a half-hearted attempt at WILD but didn't succeed directly. What followed was a sheer chaos of dreams, false awakenings and short lucids. In one dream I was at a beach I've been to several times. It was warm but very windy with high waves. I was heading towards the sea when I suddenly went lucid. The dream got unstable rather quickly and I couldn't see my surroundings anymore. I kneed down and touched the sand around me which I could still feel though it wasn't as warm as I expected it to be.
I woke up, still feeling close to dreaming. I turned onto my back which was probably a bad idea as I fell into SP almost immediately. This was the first time I've experienced sleep paralysis related to lucid dreaming and only the second time ever. It wasn't exactly frightening as I managed to remain calm and didn't hallucinate any dark figures etc. But breathing felt difficult and my body alternated between seemingly sinking down and being lifted upwards. After some time I felt my dream body separating completely and I could get up. It was pitch dark, so I tried to turn on the lights but the switch wouldn't work (no surprise here). I was at my parents' house, so I left my bedroom and went through the house. The other rooms were brighter with the sun shining through the windows. I got into the kitchen were my mother was standing. We had a small conversation with me having trouble to speak in the beginning. She asked if I came there to fetch her. I wondered what this means and asked: Should I? Shen then told me that it was R.'s birthday (a friend) after all. This surprised me quite a bit and while still trying to figure out what's going on I woke up.

After some weird non-lucid dream I found myself lying in bed with the radio playing in the kitchen. That was kinda suspicious as I don't have a radio in the kitchen. So I figured this must be a dream and got up. The room was only dimly lit and the dream started collapsing but I remembered to stabilize by interacting with my surroundings. I touched everything close by (floor, walls, a blanket, a suitcase) which felt utterly realistic and listened to the radio (there were commercials). Thinking that jumping out of the window on the third floor would probably still wake me up I decided to leave through the door. I went there, still touching the walls on the way. As I've done this before I wanted to pass through the door without opnening it but both my body and the door appeared to be too solid. I was determined to make this work, so I went back a few steps and focused intently on the door. By doing so, everything became much clearer and my lucidity increased, too. Then I jumped through the door though I got stuck a bit and had to fight my way through. On the other side I got into the staircase.
Walking down the stairs I remembered the TOTM, stopped and imagined a rope before me. As soon as I grabbed it, it appeared before my eyes. It was just a thin string but that didn't bother me and I started climbing up (forgot that it shall pull me somewhere). It was well fastened so I got quickly up to the roof. Suddenly the rope loosened and I fell back down onto the stairs. I pulled on the string; it got longer and longer until the thin part changed to a thick rope. Then it was stable again and I started climbing up once more. I got to the roof which was dome-shaped. Somehow I thought the rope would just reach higher into the sky. But when I climbed outside through an open window in the dome I saw that it was stretched in this height across the landscape, all the way I could see until the horizon.
I grabbed the rope again and climbed along into the distance. Soon I got to a meadow in front of a forest. Looking down I realized it was crowded with small living creatures. Of each kind there was a couple so I was reminded of Noah's ark (btw I'm not religious). When I looked even closer I realized that these were some strange creatures. There were two oversized brightly yellow ducks, a pair of raccoons with christmas caps and a couple of garden gnomes amongst many others. All of these were clearly alive. Over this astonishing sight I forgot about the rope, sank down to the meadow and felt the dream fading.