lucid

I'm in a tough spot mentally at the moment, and I feel like this is being reflected in my dreams. When I was a kid, sure I had problems and addictions per se, but I had hugely varied dreams and a lust for life that got me excited for every day. However, I'm 27 now and I think a series of addictions, bad habits, and compulsive behaviours have got me into a right pickle. I need some therapy and I need to get off my ass and take action, because I have a lot of cool skills and potential, and I'm wasting them. Anyway, as I said, this lifestyle is being reflected in my dreams. I would say that recently, the two core themes of my dreams are holidays and sex. Sex is an obvious one - I definitely have a sexual addiction and really need to address this. On the other side, the holiday theme is a bit more benign. Basically I started freelance writing last year, and it went way better than I thought it would. Due to the remote nature of the job, for the first time I have been able to go on "work holidays" whenever and wherever I want, and I love it. However, I definitely think this can be a coping mechanism. If I'm having a rough, depressing, and unproductive day, I'll be looking online for cheap flights and before you know it I will be escaping to Morocco or something. Obviously travel is good, but I think that I currently use it to justify my otherwise boring life, and I think this is why it appears in my dreams so much.



Anyway, my dream included a brief glimpse of being on holiday somewhere, perhaps Albania with my ex gf V on a train? (even though they don’t have trains in Albania). First part of this dream that I remember was being on a train, and V had squeezed herself into this weird slot by one of the sliding doors, almost like a magazine rack. I kind of get the impression she was avoiding me, but I squeezed myself into the same slot and we kissed.

After this, I remember being in a hotel room. Initially, I was alone – it was dark and a bit depressing, much like my flat IRL. There were two rooms – one living room and one bedroom/study. The study had a nice desk setup and I had been doing work there, but I had also sprawled my belongings and trrash all over the place. I don’t remember at what point this happened, but suddenly a girl was in the flat with me. I sort of remember the essence of her being V from earlier, but in appearance it definitely was not. She was quite petite, really hot/cute, and we exchanged oral sex. It was great, although I’m pretty sure it got cut off too early at some point (classic).