Charles3

Ok. 8:37 getting off the comp for bed.

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Okay! So, it took me a while to fall asleep. Maybe an hour, but I made it. I had one mini dream of a little wet cloth touching a side of a bath tub. There was some kind of special word in it.

Then I woke up a little, recalled it, and fell back asleep. The next dream was something short. I recalled it and fell back asleep. Now I can't remember what it was.

This next one got more involved. It seemed to be about my appointment tomorrow with (J). So where did it start? I was looking all over for my paper. I remember running in the woods. Running in the woods, thinking this will fix my dopamine receptors. At the arboretum. I remember it felt cool to run, and feel my lungs breathe.

The paper had his phone number on it. I hoped it was the right number. I called, and it turned out to be. But, it was an older woman. I was also running around upstairs to close the windows. Wind was blowing in. I didn't want to lose all the heat once it got cold at night.

My Nana, Aunt C, Uncle C, Dad, Mom and sister were there. Maybe others. I remember using the land line phone and thinking of my cell phone. Hm, this memory is a little more jumbly than I thought.

We were on a hill. The hill led down to a shore line on the beach.

I remember my Uncle and Dad saying something on the hill. It was night. Wow, I feel sad now. I thought that was gonna be alot more detailed when I wrote it.

I think it ended with my Dad having these really weird legume type things. They looked like extra big, golden brown pieces of dried rosemary. And then there were these other things. White circular things with some spiky top.

He said they were for helping go to the bathroom. They seemed too hard. Anyway, I think I took a few. He was going to give them to someone.

Something with my lap top in there maybe. We confirmed the appointment.

So I woke up and recalled that. However, I fell back asleep. This time by mistake. The other two times I chose to go back to sleep since it has just been a moment of a dream.

I dreamed of my room mate from college. I had been taking college courses but also playing guitar for 1.5 hours a day. Learning lots of songs, really fast. I remember thinking of how I played some impressive songs at a party.

I was out in town, near buildings and pavement and side walks. I was zooming in and out of something with a stair case, on my phone.

There was a rapper doing a song. I can't remember the words now. It's the first time I thought of it. But I knew who it was. The top of the stair case seemed to change.

Then I sat at the top of the stair case. About to do something else on my phone. I grabbed a pencil and tried to use the eraser side as a stylus and it made giant gashes in my screen.

'Oh no!' I thought, and tried to rub the screen clean. Nope, there were deep, deep gashes in the screen. I thought of asking my Dad if he could find another one of these Samsung Galaxies on sale at Amazon. But not sure how I'd do my hand-writing app with all these bumps.

I tried to run the stylus over them. It didn't seem like good news. I felt angry or sad or grief. I looked at the pencil eraser. There were some metal parts exposed that looked razor sharp. I felt like someone had planted it there to trick me into scratching up my phone.

Then I woke up in my physical bed. What a relief. Phone screen destruction night mares used to be alot more common. But then they went away so I stopped using it as a dream sign. I wasn't prepared! Oh well.

I also had a moment of maybe dream journaling in the dream. It said a name.

I thought, okay. That must be what I dreamed about in that second round of dreams. But maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. It was what I dreamed of dream journaling is all I am sure of.

Okay! It's only 12:03 AM, meaning I slept 2-3 hours so far. Weird, it felt like more sleep. Okay, back to bed! Wish me luck falling asleep!

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Okay! I just woke up and recalled another round. Here it is.

Nana's. My memory starts with me at Nana's. I remember being with my sister in Nana's room. She was on the chez lounge.

I think there was something with my Mom and Dad that's vague. Maybe a spill in the bathroom. I remember standing in a big sun spot in Nana's dining room. "It is so warm in this sun spot," I said to my sister and others nearby. There might have been a big plant there.

I think Nana's front door was open. I think there was alot more to that part which got forgotten as the dream went on.

In the next scene I remember, I had some kind of pie thing. Someone else was taking it. I only remember this vaguely.

I got lured to this opening to a trail where bees flew around. I saw the bee go for my pie. I think one of them, I protected myself, and its upper body imploded. So only its thorax was flying. (I don't harm bugs in waking life. Guess I felt threatened in the dream.) There was another bee, so I ran.

I wish I could remember the part before that. Blah.

When I ran back into the field or courtyard thing, there were spider webs sealing off each exit. They appeared quickly over the entrance I'd just come in by. It was brown dirt and outdoors.

I decided to get a stick and gently move one web so I could go out. I was still running, I think from the bee. (I also usually avoid breaking a spider's web in waking life due to all that hard work they did.)

When I turned around, a big furry mongoose snake hybrid poked its head out. It was brown. It didn't come at me though. When I turned around again another animal thing came out from the other side.

There may have been a Pokemon part.

After some unsureness, my memory starts at a library. I remember red stair cases. I remember night mode on screens. I remember wanting to print something.

My friend was using the computer by the printer to print his book. He told me I should get his book. Sorry, I wasn't really interested. I sat down, waiting for his book to finish. Some spiritual advisor guy sat down near me, talking to someone else. It sounded like program talk, very white-light and that kind of thing.

I started doing hyperventilating breathing and punching my legs, also growling. This was kind of because I needed to and also to be sure to make those pasty program people remember anger. I was angry about something. I forgot what it was now.

I also remember looking at all the library shelves, and what stairs to go up.

When I sat back down, I noticed a black hand gun was on the table. No one seemed to notice it, so I put it into my bag. In the context of the dream, it was my gun, but I wasn't planning on hurting anyone. I wasn't sure why I had it.

I must have got up, done something else, and come back. When I came back, the gun was out of my bag again, on the table. Was someone taking it out of my bag as a hint? Then, the guy behind the counter put on his headphones, and brandished a silver night stick. "You might wanna go use the bathroom," he said, hinting that I should leave my bag there again, so they could finish confiscating the gun.

"It's not what you think," I tried to explain. Then I woke up briefly and recalled it, then fell back asleep into the same dream. I was pretty relieved when I woke up and found that it had just been a dream.

When I got back to that, I was going up stairs in the library. Looking for tissues to blow my nose comes to mind. Oh, I had alot of boogers. I had so many boogers all over my hand. I also saw lots of boogers rubbed on the wall so I figured I'd rub my boogers there too.

Afraid the people would be suspicious why I'd left, I got ready to explain to them, how I was embarrassed about the boogers. Once I got further up, there was a big vat thing with fluid. I heard DG saying that he got a full time job through this new government program.

That's what it was. There was a new job program from the government, giving people more jobs. I was not interested, but DG was excited about it.

He said how he was working a full time job, and taking classes at night, to advance. This seemed silly to me. Trying to cram in too much.

I guess I went back down and my back pack was there. I think I typed some things or tried to manage my print-outs. I forgot what MK's book was about. But I know the pages were coming out in night mode. I was afraid I'd have to return another day to print. This seemed not fun because I wanted to have it done.

Then I guess the library was closing. Some people were upstairs.

Another image or scene pops to my mind so vaguely though. Just on the tip of my tongue. Ah, no way of unraveling it.

BZ called something down to me.

So BZ calls something down to me. I reply with, "You dirty rotten smoker!! Why don't you quit smoking?" Something like that. So he came on his way down.

The group of them got down stairs and came towards me. I thought of my gun in my bag, just in case, but was afraid to pull it out. In case it would just get me in trouble.

BZ became C and C walked right towards me. I started apologizing and gave him a hug. "I'm so sorry I called you that. I am just so upset about the smoke. But it was mean." We hugged for a while. He was kind of pinching a nerve in my back but he stopped. His clothes didn't smell like smoke, as I feared they would.

Because we were both males, the body positioning was a little awkward. I began to realize this after a while. So it got kinda awkward and so we kinda backed away. I guess that showed that by not having a gun, I had to use other means to make it safe for myself, like making amends. But if I'd had a gun, I wouldn't need to make amends. (I don't own guns in waking life.)

Then, it shifted, and lots of people started to stampede through. It became a long corridor. (I'm getting a little flash back of an earlier scene but IDK how to unravel it!) There were lots of African American people. Two men had silver or chrome teeth but with braces on top of that. I was like, "Awesome teeth!" And then I saw Ira. I was like, "Awesome teeth, Ira!"

Then two women were to my left. More elderly women. One gestured toward the other, and she showed me a big tongue ring. It was like a straight poke-through piercing. I said something like, "Cool, thanks for showing me!"

As I ran with them, I remembered that I want to recall that earlier part with the bugs. I had a sense I'd have an easy time remembering all those dreams. When I woke up, that proved not to be the case... I got the library parts but had some blank spots for the other earlier parts.

You know that feeling when you know for sure there was a dream detail there, but just not what it was? I figure if I know it was there, there's gotta be a way to unravel it.

Okay, now it's 2:40 AM in waking life time. I got 2-2.5 hours of sleep or 5-6 total so far. Hopefully I will get another 3-4 but just seeing how it goes. A lucid would be nice! But most importantly, whatever it is, I just want to remember it very, very thoroughly.

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I remembered in the last dream, someone definitely conned me into giving them something, before the bug part. It might have been CR. Couldn't unravel further. Does anyone have experience with unraveling a really distant dream detail?

Okay! I'm up with more dreams. My memory of these starts with Walter White from Breaking Bad, sitting with his back to a wall. He was saying how he and his wife would do anything to get out of depression. I felt like I had an answer.

There was more before that. At least 2 big scenes. There was something with an app. It said "Inner Child". It was a way of doing a phone meeting but from a special app with special features. Something about costing 3.99 or so. The screen was green.

I was thinking the app wouldn't help, because for phone meetings, people could do those free. No one would go to ones they had to buy an app to go to.

I forgot what else had happened earlier though.

Then I guess I was in the app without having paid. I was being shown various talks and forum threads. There was a talk going on where they talked about how harming a child is wrong. And if the child is crying, the person causing it should stop. But they often don't.

As I heard this, I cried deeply, realizing my trauma. I was sitting in my dream journal chair on recline, in front of a monitor. My sister and Dad were around. I was walking around at times and my sister wondered why I had to have that on, it was unpleasant to her. I had stationed little pieces of paper around the monitor area and heard my Dad (in my mind) complaining about the pieces of paper. They had trauma recovery stuff written on them.

I felt bad that it might upset my Dad. He always seemed to "function" like a machine, no matter what, but if he began to heal from trauma I am sure that he would break down. Either way I think its something that can't be bypassed.

I had been digging my feet into the ground unconsciously. When I went to sit back down, the whole bottom portion of the chair had caved in, because it didn't have the pillow underneath it properly. (Long story of how I designed my special chair). I saw that the legs of the chair had indented the tan carpet, and I had pushed it backwards by a foot. So I tried to adjust it back.

50 Cent was doing a rap about Jay-Z and another rapper. Something about it was humorous. I tried to scroll back to loop the 5 minutes of the audio that was giving me so much catharsis over my trauma.

I remember the pieces of paper with words, in the cups. I was sad about my trauma but also glad to be having the tears, since I want to heal. I am unable to cry in waking life due to brainwashing but I've had some healing weeps in dreams.

Okay, so then, I think I woke up, and recalled all 3 scenes. The one I just said, the half of the one before it I said, and maybe the rest of the earlier parts I was unable to unravel.

I must have drifted to sleep again, this time lucid. I found myself on the beach.

I was with (A). In a kind of house thing but it only had the beams on each corner and roof... No walls! So we could see out to the beach all around. I guess it was for putting a tent over as needed.

We were talking about something when I realized I was in a dream, and became lucid. He had a bowl of pasta with red sauce and parmesan cheese to eat. He sat up on a table and I stood on the ground there. I think I was talking to him first while he ate, but I wondered if I could have some food, too. Being that it was a dream, I would have loved to have had some italian food!

I think I was telling (A) about my previous dream. He took a turn to speak, but while he spoke, he prepared his next bite of food, stirring around the sauce. As he finished speaking, he took a 2-3 inch diameter chunk of parmesan cheese to eat, and ate that. There were other big chunks too. He looked alot like (A) from waking life.

There were some big meat balls in an oven. The oven was open but they seemed to be baking. Nothing seemed for me though. (A) said, "Looks like your pasta got really solid." And pointed to a brown rock near by, on a beam counter top thing.

It was definitely a rock. But I wanted to have some fun here. He knew it was a very solid and hard rock. I looked at it, got ready, felt some doubts, but went for it anyway. Like I had intended, it became powder in my mouth. It was like a semi-sweet powder.

(A) was pretty amazed. I offered him to test the remaining rock if it were still a rock. Sure enough, to him, it was a solid, hard stone. But I was able to bite it.

"You must be so wise, that you're teaching me something, without acting like you know you are," I said to him. I meant that I thought he was lucid, too, but acting like he wasn't, to teach me. It felt like more of a shared dream than a subconscious dream.

This is where it gets really interesting. And more what i feel are third-party entities come along.

In the distance, I saw about 5 men with black hand guns approach. All wearing some soldier uniform, one brighter yellow green, one greener, I forgot the rest. Some helmets.

I felt some fear as they approached. Being lucid, I got ready to fly. There was a beam I would first aim to jump to, then a roof higher up, which I could escape from.

"Come with us," they ordered me. 'No,' I thought, and jumped up to the beam. I felt heavier, and hadn't flown yet in the dream. Maybe they were making me a little less able to fly. I aimed for the roof and jumped up. Got up about 10 feet but I would have needed another 5 feet.

Looking down, I saw two of the men had the hand guns pointed at me. "Get down here like we said, or we'll shoot!" I didn't want to feel a bullet if I moved another inch. "Okay, I'm coming down," I said. "I'm coming down!! Don't shoot!!" I added, afraid they would just be so reactive that they'd fire anyway.

I was afraid to go with them. It didn't seem like a good place to go... Where as I could talk about my trauma healing dream with (A), I felt my body go cold and numb when I got near these "dream agents" or whatever they were. But, I was gonna just go with them, I guess. I half expected it to be a long dream of me being imprisoned, questioned, something like that.

When my feet touched the dream ground, I simply woke up. I don't know if I would have woke up if I'd have kept fighting, trying to fly away or deflect the bullets. If it was a shared dream with (A) it probably seemed kinda weird to see all that, if he woke up and remembered. But I could see how if (A) was non-lucid, the "dream police" would come to get me for doing alchemy on the stone. Still, I already did it! So, too late.

I've heard of these dream police when showing off dream abilities. Maybe it's just a schema. Or maybe its an actual thing that happens "out there" in the shared-dream field and by accepting the reality of it, I can learn how to... Work around it, fight it, deal with it, etc. What do you think?

Now it's 4:31 AM. I hope to sleep at least once more but maybe even twice. I think I've accumulated 6-7 hours of sleep by now. Need more!

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Alright! I got me some more dreams.

First I dreamed of being in a restaurant I worked at growing up.

Only it was criss-crossed to where the manager was someone from a different restaurant I'd worked at. It was early in the season. A couple had sat in the front at a square 4 top.

T (The manager) had already taken some of their orders. I was surprised that he had memorized everything. The people started to tell me that they wanted wine coolers. They already seemed to have cups so I was confused.

I sat down with them and said, "I haven't worked here in a year!" My voice sounded different. I remember the windows in the front, and the dark brown. I forgot if anything else happened.

I woke up, recalled that, and went back to sleep. "No way I'll forget that," I thought. However, I almost did forget it... after I woke up and recalled the next dream, it took me quite a while to dig that one back up.

Well, I fell back asleep, and had another dream. I was on the computer. Then I decided to go on a forum. Before I could make it to the forum, I woke up.

I woke up and recalled those, then recovered the memory of the restaurant dream. I decided to let myself go back to sleep before recording because they were short dreams.

My last dream I dreamed about a computer again.

I dreamed I was in my back yard too. So, I woke up, recalled those, and got up and typed.

Now its 7:20 AM meaning I slept another 2 hours. So now I have 8-9 hours of sleep under my belt. It still seems like not enough, and that I could sleep more. I will see if thats possible and if not, start my day.

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Well, looks like its time to start my day. I can always nap if I'm tired. That was really nice to have a full night sleep again.