Charles3

Well, I had some really vivid and eventful dreams last night. But I woke up with such brain fog that it was difficult to recall them well. I did the best I could though. I had difficulty sleeping the last few nights, which might have made me extra tired. My sleep quality really has to be very good for me to get ideal dream recall. So when my sleep suffers so does my dreaming practice. However, sometimes my sleep quality is just beyond my control.

My first dreams had a scene with aliens coming. I tried to hide in a tent, thinking they wouldn’t get me in there. <<personal info>>I have more from these on my voice recorder.

The next set of dreams was cool. When I tried to recall it though, my brain was total mush. I remember my Dad talking with a police officer. The police man said that I had got in 6 accidents that year, indicating various places on the floor of my car. I was like, oh, man, 6 accidents? That was a lot. (Not a waking life circumstance.)

Then I remember being in this room with all these red people. Their appearances kind of morphed as time went on. Everyone was eating tons of meat. I started to talk about how it hurts animals, and someone told me not to talk about that here. The big boss of the red guys turned to me. He had big pokey bull horns and his skin glowed orange and red. He was eating lots of meat. I think this might be the part of my consciousness where I have demonized, to some extent, the consumption of animal products, and buried any desires to consume animal products. But yesterday when I researched choline, I kind of wished I could eat egg yolks, red meat, and dairy, so that probably came up in my dream. Wow, that was a good interpretation.

Then there was this part where I was climbing up a ladder. <<personal info>>was talking to me about how I don’t drink alcohol. I was like, I don’t smoke, either. But he was like, just because you smoke, doesn’t mean you’re okay. I continued climbing the ladder. Other people were climbing up the wall alongside the ladder. The guy to my right couldn’t get himself up from the wall to the floor at the top. It was easy for me with the ladder, since I had good footing, but he didn’t. I pulled myself up using something on the floor and said I would help pull him up, too. I could really feel how he was stuck there, couldn’t get all the way up the wall, but couldn’t really climb back down, either. I wonder what that means.

Okay so then, I got up there, and helped him, I think. And there were all these mattresses. I had one on the far right. But another person kind of took it from me and tried sleeping in it. I couldn’t see why I was any more entitled to a mattress than them, so I was like, fine. But eventually I was like, hey, that mattress was supposed to be mine. And they agreed.

<<personal info>> yelled something out loud to warn the “weed smokers”, one of whom was <<personal info>>The red demon boss guys didn’t want anyone smoking weed I guess. <<personal info>>voice was really loud. Much louder than anyone elses could go.

I remember a part in there of being on this boat. I was calculating some numbers in my head, for how long something should take. Then I thought I shouldn’t have done that, because now it would feel like forever. But if I hadn’t known how much time was remaining, I would make it through a little easier.

Someone was working on a jacuzzi thing, and I threw something metal into it. They were mad because it could have exploded or messed everything up. I was like, sorry. Someone threw something metal down the ladder before that could have hurt someone, too.

Then I was back in that setting from before with the mattresses, only on the lower floor again. People were at tables. I found that I could fly by sort of wiggling in the air. But I didn’t know it was a dream. I figured flying had just become possible. It wasn’t too extreme, either, in terms of speed or distance. It was just a very simple wiggle in mid air that would get me another foot of movement in any direction. There was no anxiety involved in the flying. Actually, this may have been a fulfillment of my request for a flying school in my dream. If I can remember this flying technique when I get lucid, it might be something I could practice consciously.

So I flew around some tables and talked to some people. Then there was a part where I was telling my sister I had a Dream Induced Lucid Dream. When I woke up, though, I couldn’t recall having had a Dream Induced Lucid Dream. Maybe I just thought I did, within the dream. <<personal info>>

Then I was going around near where a class was beginning. Some teachers asked me to get the pail from the other room. I had been telling lots of people about the dream I just had, not knowing it was still a dream! I felt like as I told more people about my dream, more details of it even came to mind, which was nice. It surprised me that people were willing to listen to my dream stories. Maybe this was my dream telling me a way to boost my dream recall. But I can’t think of any people in my nearby area that would listen to me talk about my dreams. I have wanted to start a local lucid dreaming club at the local library though.

So then, I went to the room where they told me to get the pail. But instead I just leaned on one of the desks to write my dream. It felt really hard to wrap my head around the dream, probably because I was still using my “dream brain”. I was also scared that I’d get in trouble for doing my own thing, and not promptly returning to the class. For a lot of this dream, it felt like I was being watched. Like that red demon boss guy was running a tight ship and we all had to do what he said, or we’d get in trouble. So in a lot of these scenes I felt fear of disobeying.

Then, there were these people that came through and put up camping signs. The corridor became the walking path near the stream at <<personal info>> where I walked the previous day. They were a group of non dualists. Their non dualism was symbolized in a wooden plank they put leading from the dirt path, to the stream. Before, the stream came up to this dirt wall that dropped steeply off a few feet down to the stream. So it was like a cut off, either you fall a few feet off the path into the stream, or you are dry and on the dirt path. But the non dualists put a little ramp that led into the stream, I guess signifying that it wasn’t all black and white. It seemed so significant and wise. It also seemed dangerous to me at the same time. As if they didn’t judge it as wrong for someone to fall into the stream. Or if their ramp caused someone to slip. It also made me realize that there is no railing protecting people from falling in the stream there, and someone could get hurt. The image sticks out very clear in my mind. I guess in my waking life, it could relate to looking at the gray area of things, instead of all black and white. Instead of being all the way in the stream (all bad) , or all the way on land (all good), I could be somewhere on the ramp.

So then I woke up and recorded those. I felt like there was a whole nother round of dreams in there that I missed, but, my brain was too foggy. I wonder if choline will help “fix” this brain fog problem I get some nights. But maybe it is more of a belief system thing.

The next dreams I remembered started at <<personal info>>field. I saw that there were still plastic eggs all over the place from the Easter Egg hunt. There was one that looked like it had 3 segments, instead of two. And some smaller ones. I shook them and it seemed to have stuff in it. Candy, I guessed.

I worried that the grounds keepers would mow the lawns and break up all those plastic eggs into a million pieces. So I got my grabber to clean them up. This actually makes a lot of sense and I might go to the Arboretum soon to check into that.

While I was out on the field, I saw the grounds keeping guys out on the vehicles. It seemed like they were just about to mow. Then, <<personal info>>and some other people came over to where I was. <<personal info>>We walked somewhere, over some wooden walk ways, and to a steep grassy hill. It had been day time before, but now it was darker out. We were at a brick dorm building. There were some flashing green lights in there, like the people were partying. <<personal info>>also made appearances. They said that I shouldn’t go any closer because the flashing green lights indicated that the people in there were using P C P. I slid down the hill anyway and we all went inside.

It was a party being held by a small hockey team. Not the school’s main hockey team but more of an intramural team. I wasn’t allowed in but I don’t remember why. Maybe because I wouldn’t drink alcohol or because I wasn’t on the hockey team. I was talking to <<personal info>>outside, and on the phone, helping them talk to one of their friends. I tried to suggest that some people come back to the field with me, because it is sunny, and it will be much nicer. But they said they didn’t want to, because they can’t drink on the field. I was like, you don’t need to drink! Being at the Arboretum will feel better than drinking. I mentioned how I hadn’t drink alcohol in 5 years. Then, I felt bad, because I exaggerated. Really, its more like 4 years and 2 months. <<personal info>>It seemed I would be going back to the Arboretum alone. What does it mean? Maybe that my choice to live a healthier or “more conscious” life style has made me kind of isolated from a lot of people my age. I guess I felt left out. That was the feeling. A feeling of feeling left out. Or I felt like I had a lot to offer, but the people who I was trying to share with, weren’t interested. <<personal info>>might also have been there. I remember some people going up stairs to the party.

At the front of the house, some girls gave me a packet with a green cover. It was about joining the hockey team or contributing. One of the guy’s names was “Eguardo” or “Eduardo” but he looked like someone from High School whose name I forgot. It also showed the team’s cheer leaders on the pages. <<personal info>>Then I was at a desk, deciding whether to throw out the pamphlet, or just store it somewhere. The thing was, they told me I could only ever have one pamphlet. They will never give me another. So if I lose it, I have no chance of ever being part of their hockey club thing. Part of me was like, Charles, you will never join that hockey club thing. Just throw it out. Another part of me was like, Charles, just hang on to it. What if you want to join one day? Just stuff it in a drawer somewhere. I have that kind of indecisiveness with a lot of things. Also I guess it has to do with wondering if I should let go, and burn a bridge, or keep my options open. At the desk, I remember I had 2 pairs of khaki pants, one kind of darker than the other. And a pair of boxers. I was trying to hide them underneath a seat cushion.

On my way back to the field, the path seemed to have changed. The wooden bridges were different. I also flew again, but it seemed more like I slipped and fell, and ended up flying through the air. I was about to land on a wooden bridge, and I feared it would be slick, and cause me to slip off it into the river below, once I landed. Like earlier, flying didn’t make me realize it was a dream.

I forgot the rest of that. Something happened when I got back to the field, I think. It’s probably in my voice notes, just not off the top of my head.

I woke from those and recorded them. I had transitioned to sleeping on my diagonal front, which was really comfortable. I was able to drift back to sleep a few times which was great since I lost so much sleep recently.

In one dream, I dreamed that I was attempting FILD! I know it was a dream because my body was flipped over (head where my feet would have been). But I was doing the little finger things as I slipped into sleep, and then wondered, how are you supposed to do an Reality, Check when you’re not supposed to move too much? I think I experienced a dream starting but it freaked me out and I woke back up. But it was all a dream anyway L O L. During that part there was another dream I forgot due to brain fogginess and grogginess. Foggy and groggy!

My last dream was really funny. First I was dreaming about dream journaling all the night’s dreams so far. In the dream, I was drawing the pizzas that had appeared in previous dreams. Wait. There were pizzas in previous dreams? Yes. Rather than go back and add it, I will just say that there was a rectangle shaped pizza with a 2 x 3 grid of red circles on it. And a triangle pizza. And pictures of pizzas on the wall. And a little kid crying about something. But now, back to this dream.

I was drawing the pizza with a yellow highlighter and a red orange color too. <<personal info>>Then I dreamed that I was going to <<personal info>>At the meeting, I was thinking that if anyone tried to be my friend, I would push them away. I hadn’t been there in a while in waking life, so I thought people would look down on me. I sat on the edge of one of the benches, next to a woman and her child. The person in front of me also had a baby over her shoulder, and a picture of a face on the back of her coat or shirt. I figured this must be children’s mass, as I thought about the Sunday schedule. For some reason, I avoided looking at any children.

Here is the funny part. I sat there in the church, and thought to myself, wait, how did I get here? Maybe I’m dreaming. I had my thin black gloves on. I was just about to do a finger palm test, when I thought to myself, “You know, Charles, let’s not get carries away with reality checks. We’ve already done so many today, and so maybe we should cut back a little. This is clearly not a dream anyway.” L O L, can ya believe it? So I sat there, feeling kind of bored. Eventually I got up and walked out the back door of the church. I remember thinking that I should have just stood in the back since I only wanted to stay for a few minutes. I remember walking around the side of the church outside but I am not sure of the rest. Its on my voice recorder, just not off the top of my head.

I wonder why the dream had me dream of going to that church. I haven’t been there in a while in waking life. I think it simulated some of the feelings I would feel after going back after a long time of not showing up, such as feeling judged by others. <<personal info>>Well, that was all I remembered. I thought if I got back to sleep, I’d definitely get lucid, since I was almost lucid that last time. But, I didn’t get to sleep again.