5,880 words - Selected parts in Bold
by
, 06-09-2018 at 02:37 PM (838 Views)
I'm already tired and it's only 6:23 P M! Well, I will go to bed early.
It was 5,880 words and I had 3 Lucid Dreams. That might be a personal best on word counts.
(ZZZZZZZZZ)
Going to bed really early, I must have fallen asleep before 7:30. That's great.
First round of dreams. I'm not sure if I woke up directly from the dream. I forgot which way the numberical scale went, but it was easier to remember than most first-round of dreams.
I'm sure I forgot earlier, earlier stuff. I think I had a girlfriend. Maybe M C. I remember talking with her. I remember playing some kind of baseball game. Except, there was no pitcher. I was going to have to pitch the ball to myself and then run to the home plate and hit it from there. The ball was red, I think. I had no idea how to coordinate all this, but they wanted me to be first up to bat. I told them I need someone else to go first so I can observe their technique. I think G F was there.
Next scene I remember is being at Nana's. Being on her couches in her living room with Dad, Uncle C, and other relatives. something about Dad and Uncle C Smoking something. There was also the basis for some kind of meeting, perhaps W A, from which the woman and I related.
Then I remember a part with this packet. In the packet there ws a paper that said something bad about certain groups of people. I took the pamplet apart, and just crossed out the name of the group of people, to replace it with "Smokers". Someone almost caught me doing that. I quickly scrambled to fold all the pages back together. There were big drawings of some kind of animals I had to fold back along the creases. I think I also waited around a corner for someone.
In an office kind of place, I remember making a lot of noise as I headed for the shower. Not sure why. There was this part I forgot. But then O A and C V came to the shower. (Before I was un-dressed.) And started to annoy me. I particularly remember O A pinching me. The bullying felt really severe. D G also came by. Eventually I agreed to leave there and go live somewhere else if they just gave me time to gather my stuff from the locker room, and look up one more thing in the online database. D G was holding up my pad lock to show everyone the deal was being done.
I remember I had a text book. I forgot the subject matter but I was trying to look up one particular concept to review from various points in the book. I was in the middle school library of my middle school. G D came up from behind me with another book. She told me it was an Earth Science kind of book. There were various calculations in there. it also showed how there were mushroom types of creatures living in space. They were white and the red caps were actually a separate organism or item that joined them over time. I remember the dream gave a vivid demonstration as G D explained it to me. However, I wasn't interested. I just wanted the specific thing from my book. After I got my online query met, I would have to use library computers from then on.
I remember R from A C A had been sponsoring a woman in A A. He also was the treasurer of this A A meeting. The only problem was, he had been drinking lots of vodka on Fridays. I kept thinking how he was in Vietnam. And how I guess A A elders could drink if they wanted. I told everyone I thought he was great, ignoring the news about his drinking.
I also just remembered a part of being in a really hot room. And if I just opened a little window the hot air could get out.
I remember going on this web forum. I was going to make a thread title like "Linkin Park - Meteora" or some other "Artist - Title" and then a list of songs. Then, I realized that I never listened to the songs anyone else posted. So I decided to go and do that. It showed someone whose forum name I forgot, posting something. Maybe a Spanish name. Then the person who replied said something in English and also included a Spanish translation. Something about the same song. I don't quite remember what it was.
There was something with M from Grey sheet. He was doing a share in a meeting. A share about how he wanted to do his art or prepare for his movie but he had to think about others first. The fake-ness made me cringe, like a similar share I had heard in waking life that day. Not really fakeness because I don't think he even knew he was faking. Not only that but it was just really negative self-talk.
I think there was one more thing before I woke up. But I don't know what it was!
Okay, back to bed. I typed those because If I RBFA the first round of dreams I don't think I will re-remember it.
(ZZZZZZZZZ)
Round 2 of dreams was largely lost in RBFA. With round 2 of dreams I usually don't need to get up to use the bath room so I stay in bed and think them through. I will usually remember a good amount but I'm unable to re-remember it all later. However, I guess the sleepiness factor is still such that I drift off to sleep in the middle of thinking, 'If I stay still I can keep getting more details.' I eventually hope to find a solution to this.
So, as stated, there was a bunch I forgot.
One part in my high school's drive way that I had OTTOTT but couldn't remember more of.
Something with D F (friend from college) maybe discussing medicine in 24 S bathroom. Too vague.
There was a dance party in an auditorium thing that I remembered. I didn't have the ideal clothes though.
In the next part, I was on some kind of blog or social media site. K had an account there. She was on my friends list but not actively looking at my posts. it was like a dream journal blog. Someone else had came along and made a nice comment. I appreciated it but wondered why K wasn't interested in me any more. The other person's name started with M. (It wasn't anyone from waking life.)
So like I said, I had an RBFA, and forgot the other 50% or more. I guess its not until the third REM cycle that I'm really forming solid memories.
(ZZZZZZZZZ)
Round 3 of dreams had a lot of continuity with Round 2 due to not moving between rounds. It began at 24 (which is what I will call my parents old house from now on.)
I remember another scene where someone had parked their car in the wrong place. Something like that. There was a giant dog, like 12 feet tall. A black dog. Meant to guard the place. So it approached the place and went through the gate. The gate was only a frame and had no bars in the middle. It walked right up to where the car was. Only now it was a bunch of kids cowering there. It was really cold out. I think the dog didn't detect them, and walked away.
I remember seeing the little kids, then being one of them from the first-person. We decided to run back inside. Because it was freezing cold, we thought it would feel weird to move our ankles. But we made a bee-line for the house. There were icy puddles we had to go around. It was night time. And kinda scary. Something, maybe a dog or a big bird, came up to get us. I think the dream shifted before anything happened.
Then I was going through something with being in a relationship with K. But she needed space and I wasn't picking up on that. She was kind of pushing me away though. Anyway we were in an auditorium like the earlier dream. Only this time, sitting around having a meeting. K was the chair person. She said how she was tired of sitting next to the same person on the train every morning. (Meaning, me.) Someone in front shared. Then M B shared about T R, who was behind her, diagonal by one spot to her left. They were a couple. I forgot what she said. B F, another row behind T R, said that he could hear singing. It was a joke though, because there was no singing. He was just pretending.
I remember looking at a little philips head screw, formulating a share in my mind. I wanted to tell everyone about my dreams so far. It occurred to me that I had been dreaming a long time. I remembered one scene of a black silhouette kind of figure becoming someone else. That's what made me feel like there had been so many parts of rounds 2 and 3 I forgot.
S S was sharing. I thought to myself that since K was the chair person for the meeting, maybe I would be better off not sharing. Because, I didn't think she would want to hear me even more! And I could process it later.
For round 3 of dreams, I woke up directly from the dreams, I think, and the parts I did remember were fairly easy. I had some brain fog. (WUDD-5?) But one thing I think that cost me a lot of details was I needed the rest room within 5 minutes of waking up. I still think of the dreams as I go, but I think having to move kind of dis-lodges them. Once I lay back down I can resume some recall.
(ZZZZZZZZZ)
Round 4 of dreams seemed a little smaller. Actually it took a while to fall asleep after having difficulty recalling rounds 2 and 3. I almost thought I'd get up and write them. But sleep did come.
I remember one part where there was an Eckhart Tolle voice. He was saying a story about how two guys had listened to his talks and decided the world was too noisy so they went somewhere quiet and peaceful. But he said it as a silly joke because of the "wherever you go there you are" thing. I think that it's true to some extent but also a peaceful and quiet place is still better than a noisy place.
I also dreamed about a hot glue gun. I was using it on my desk at 24. There were metal inserts which provided the glue. I remember having trouble operating it. The room was bright. I think some glue leaked and burned my hand. I tried to un-plug it. Nothing was working.
There was a third part but once I thought of the Eckhart Tolle and hot glue gun parts, the third part had vanished!
I reviewed those in my mind, re-played rounds 2 and 3, and eventually drifted to sleep again.
(ZZZZZZZZZ)
I got back to sleep without much difficulty. The first thing I can remember is heading to 24 and knowing mom and sister were moving out. I hoped that mom would leave one mattress in the house so I could sleep there if I wanted to, until it was sold.
As I approached the house, I saw that mom was putting a mattress in the back of the moving truck. She was throwing a bunch of stuff in there. It wasn't in boxes or organized in any way. She was just tossing everything right in it. The moving truck was in the slanted drive-way. When I tried to walk up along side it, she got mad at me and said to go around and up the steps.
I tried to go up the steps part but there was a towel covering the path between the bushes. Also I was afraid there would be a spider in there, even though she said there wouldn't. I walked back around by the truck and went inside.
Mom was also dismissive once I got inside. I sat on some couches. I wanted to type my dreams. My sister let me use her lap top briefly, but then needed it back. So, I never got to type them. One theme of tonight's dreams was trying to type my dreams somewhere, because I kept letting myself RBFA and hold them in my head all night. I think I tried it at least 3 times in various non-lucid dreams.
I remember one short scene, maybe when I was on the way to somewhere. I was driving down a road. A car backed out of a drive way and some how went on a slant that had their car perpendicular to the ground. Like the drivers side of the car was parallel with the ground. Kind of hard to explain. I didn't become lucid but I wondered how that was physically possible, without the car flipping over.
There must have been some stuff I forgot. FSH. I remember I had a job though. It was kind of like being a store clerk. I remember some people came in. They had Chicago accents. I remember imitating it or noticing it. They thought I was making fun of them. "No, I like Chicago accents!" I said. "I wouldn't mock them." The accents were very subtle but pretty cool.
A big fellow gave me 20 dollars. I figured it was for the store. I went to look for where to put it. There was a donations box on the wall. M C tried to tell me to put it there. But it didn't seem quite right.
My employer was behind the counter. He had brown hair. I think his name was Chris or something else with a "C". I was waiting for him to demonstrate stuff to me. He seemed like he would be busy for a while so I decided to go do some typing. I figured I would type up my work experience so far to help me process it, and then make some notes about the dreams I hadn't written yet while I was there. I knew I was on the clock so I had to make it work-related some how. I kept justifying it in my mind.
I was thinking of where my Lenovo lap top was. It must have been in my back pack. Since I had moved to a new place to get this job. Instead of using that, I found the computer lab. It had a bunch of monitors. I remember looking at an old school computer and noticing the slow computer speed. But there seemed to be enough operating speed to type words without any lag in a basic note pad.
M from Florida was a few seats to my left. He was reading his old journals out loud. One of them said something like, "I don't want to sit near Charles." I was trying not to let his reading out loud bother me while I tried to type, but it made it difficult to concentrate. I wanted to ask him to stop talking out loud and just think in his head since I was doing my work in my head and quietly. Before asking him to adjust, I figured I would go get my ear muffs.
He asked me about the computer set-up. I said that I wanted to put the key board and mouse on my lap for better arm positioning.
The key board was such that if I pressed one key there would be a corresponding spot on the screen that would get dimmer. So I experimented with different keys. Once it was dimmed all the way, I would use the up arrow, at the top right of the key board, to bring the brightness back up. I only managed to actually write a little bit. In a dream I am easier to distract!
Then one of the manager people came in and told me it seemed like I had a cold, or asthma. Because I kept on blowing my nose and coughing or sneezing. He said that I could go on sick leave. 'And still get paid?' I thought. 'Sounds good!'
Before we got up and left I remember seeing this website with some yellow design. It said something about June 2018 and how I had kept my job all this time. However, even during the dream, I knew that June 2018 was this current month and so it was funny that it wasn't a long time. But they had a lot of articles about it. I think this may have been when the dream rolled the credits. It might have been later but I will just describe it now. My dream rolled credits which had a bunch of character names who had played the parts. I knew it was a dream when I saw the credits roll because my dream sometimes likes to roll credits after a scene.
So, I followed the manager guy out of the office. I noticed it was dark outside already but only 4 or 5 P M. I realized that I wouldn't really want to work that late due to it causing me to drive past dark to get home. I wondered why I signed up in the first place. I kept walking down the hall.
We got further down the hall to someone at a desk. He was in a blue shirt with a silver name tag. I figured he was like the owner, or an executive. I was thirsty and had an empty cup. He had a water cooler. It was green but it had some plants growing in it and looked gunky. I remember 2 or 3 water spickets with maybe red, blue and yellow knob things. I wanted some water but was afraid this water would be contaminated.
Now that I think of it, it was day time outside again. There were big glass windows over here. Paul Rudd was to my left. He asked me if I wanted some water. Or if I thought something was wrong with it. I said that I didn't trust the water's cleanliness, but didn't want to insult the guy at the desk. In case my concerns were coming more from my O C D instead of there really being a problem. I explained that sometimes there is a time to speak up about something but I wasn't sure if this was that time. Paul Rudd started crying. He said something like, "That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard." I think this was where that part ended. I might have briefly woken up in my bed but I'm not sure.
Then I was looking at a web-site again. One of the thumb nails was a book called, "Where does feminism lead?" The words were all in something like times new roman except the word "lead" which was in thick blue script. The back ground was white and the text was dark blue.
Then it showed a couple in a high-end cafe. The man was seated with a donut thing and a piece of chocolate cake on top of it. He was about to take a bite with it in his hands. "You know that's a chocolate cake on a donut, right?" His girl friend said as she sat to join him. He acknowledged it, and put the donut down. But then took a giant bite of the chocolate cake part which was half of it. Then the dream flipped from showing her face to his face and his appearance changed to a guy with short blond hair.
This might have been where the credits rolled. I'm also not sure if the dream ended and I woke up briefly, or if I just went right on dreaming.
(ZZZZZZZZZZ?)
I remember walking up some stairs with another fellow up to a meeting room. There were a bunch of open cabinets. They were made of nice finished wood and I wanted to dust them. There were paper towels on one cabinet. A man sat in a soft arm chair.
I had an idea that I might get a job here if I helped enough. The man told me it might be an A C A meeting and that he was a therapist. He said that if I paid attention to him, I might find out when the meeting was! That was exciting because I wanted an in-person group to attend. Well, then I looked around and saw people seated all around the room. 'The meeting must be now!' I thought. 'What great timing!'
He proceeded to tell me all the rules. I felt more like I was at an overly critical A A meeting. The guys there were pretty harsh. The share time was 3 minutes but one guy said if I shared over 50 seconds I'd be made wrong. It started to seem like a bad environment.
Someone was smoking. Apparently they smoked in here despite the laws. That meant that when I had worked here before I had been exposed to third hand smoke! How infuriating. More people began to light up. 'Okay,' I thought. 'I want to be at the meeting so maybe I'll just open a window.' When I went near a window to open it, no one objected. I opened it but saw that 3 people right near the window were smoking, too. 'They're not gonna stop smoking. I gotta leave.'
I started yelling, "Scum bags! Scum bags!" and left in a hurry. "Scum bag!" They called out after me. I was really angry. I ran down the stairs extra fast so they wouldn't chase me. I even jumped and slid down a pole.
Guys with golf clubs appeared to catch me as I ran away. "He's gonna get hit by the train! Let's wedge him!" they called out. I saw the train tracks and wondered if they were going to beat me up then act like the train did it.
I turned to the left to run that way, but more guys with golf clubs appeared 20-30 feet ahead. I was feeling a lot of that trapped, dream-like fear. 'This is really bad!' I thought. 'I'm gonna get beaten up by golf clubs!'
Then the thoughts started to enter my mind. 'Lucid dream.' Huh? 'Its a lucid dream.' I realized... 'Yeah!!! This is a dream!!!' And felt a lot of relief. The guys started to close in on me. I wasn't sure if it would work, but I jumped up.
I flew about 100 feet into the air. It felt awesome. The sky was bright blue. All the guys with golf clubs cheered for me. "He did it!!!" Stuff like that. I began to sing, "I'm on the highest of highs!" In the same tone as "My friends provided me, I'm an alligator in a tall, tall, tall tree." from another dream in February. I think I heard some other music or Eckhart Tolle's voice again.
Then I started to stall in mid-air. I was really afraid that if I landed, they would catch me and beat me up. So I considered letting the dream end. I tried to stabilize it with with my mind first, and then keep my flight going. But I woke up directly from the dream. (WUDD - easy to remember)
I thought, 'If that was my last dream of the night, I'm glad it ended on a high note!' But it wasn't. I laid there and re-played it in my mind. Then I re-played rounds 2, 3 and 4 again until I found myself back asleep.
So it was an RBFA but I re-remembered all of it next time I woke. This is working so well because I'm actually getting more sleep this way and more dream time.
(ZZZZZZZZZ)
I slept briefly again. When I woke up, I was surprised to find that I had slept. However, I didn't remember any dreams. I thought about rounds 2, 3, 4, and 5, and eventually fell asleep again.
(ZZZZZZZZZ)
I will call this round 7. The first thing I remember is that I was at a kitchen table thing. Maybe at 15 S W. I had dialed in to the 9 A M A C A meeting. It was time for the sharing portion. I got in the queue and shared how I had a dream that guided me to come to this meeting today. I thought I sounded cool and spiritual.
Then I remember being at 24. My mom was there again. I dreamed about her a lot tonight. She was busy around the kitchen. There was a plastic bag on the wall with some chunks of brown stuff in there. Maybe someone's elimination. I thought this should be disposed of but I think it disappeared on its own. I was thinking of going to look at cars, but I wondered if that was really the right thing to do. Maybe it was too "worldly".
Next, I remember being in a house with a stair case. The stair case turned at 90 degrees after a few steps. My mom had been putting down these small rectangular rugs. I stopped to examine them. I was very surprised at how the brown rugs each had a design similar to the back of a Magic the Gathering Card! The ones on the floor had one version. The ones on each step had another. As I looked at them, I was on another phone meeting. I got in the queue to share.
I wonder if those dreams were actually from round 6 but I didn't remember them until after waking from round 7.
Next thing I remember is being in a room with my sister. There was some kind of animal she had to put outside. Maybe a bird? I don't remember. I do remember that she was at a table with paper clips all around the sides. She was distraught and wanted me to remove the paper clips. I said, sure. And tried to remove them. But I got side tracked and tried to put some in my hair.
It became a food store. There was a manager guy who came up to my sister and I and began to talk. I don't know if he was talking down to us or what. But I became lucid. He was showing us a wooden or metal thing. I took it from him and took a big bite. I knew it was not food in waking life but in a dream I could make it food. It was hard to bite through but I did.
I forgot a lot of these middle parts but it was just more of me going around the store, and eating dream food. I was eating anything I could off the shelves. The manager guy and some other people were following me around. I don't think they knew it was a dream. They were looking at me as if it was waking life.
Eventually a woman was telling me that if I have so much power, I have to make sure not to use it to destroy the Earth. I have to use it for good causes. I just kept eating whatever I wanted. L O L. To show my power I flew down an aisle with my back to the ground and then flew back. My control was good.
I noticed that there were eggs and bacon along one shelf. They were cooked. I did a double-take and walked back a few steps to get a roll or a bagel to put them on. When I looked, nothing looked edible. Except a bunch of oranges which I didn't want! I wanted an egg sandwich. I went back to find the eggs and they had vanished! I knew that the dream was making things vanish and materialize, maybe to make me become frantic. I resisted becoming frantic, and tried to relax. It helped me last a little longer. I noticed some cereal boxes up ahead. The cereal appealed to me. All I did to stabilize was just mental and emotional control.
I ended up in another dream where I was at the end of a long bench. Lots of other people were to my left on the bench. A guy behind a brown counter kiosk thing was showing signs that showed how much damage I had caused. Some money for damage to the wood, damage to the food, some other things, and also a class my actions caused them to pay for. the class was about Love and it was at Harvard. It cost about 40 dollars. The total cost of all my destruction and eating was a couple hundred dollars. I don't know if I was still lucid. The guy behind the kiosk threw a smaller guy out front and he handed on his belly on the ground. He was the kid who had to take the "Love" class.
'They should be paying me for all I taught them about lucid dreaming,' I thought. But I also kind of worried about the damage. I wondered how I'd ever earn that money. If I was lucid enough I would have liked to just materialize it all.
So, the dream ended around there. I woke up directly from it and it was probably WUDD-5.
There was only one dream out of them all tonight which was not a WUDD (wake up during dream). I forgot which one but that dream was much harder to remember.
I used the rest room after recalling them. Then I re-played round 7 in my mind a few times to make the memory "solid". After I felt it was "stored" in my mind, I went back through all the dreams from rounds 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7. I figured if I laid there and did that, I might fall asleep to one more dream. Or, by the time I got to the end, I'd know it was time to get up. Well, I didn't fall asleep again. What a great night of dreams. I got up around 6:30 A M and didn't finish writing them all until about 9:30 A M.