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    Charles3

    My first substantial LD's in a while

    by , 04-03-2018 at 05:42 PM (367 Views)
    Tonight I made a big mistake which was that I forgot to plug in my voice recorder! So, I woke up, and it didn't have any L E D's on. It was because I had to use the plug near my bed for the space heater. So, it didn't record any of my dreams. Luckily, I was able to think of 90% of what I recorded, and write it down as if my life depended on it. They were actually really cool dreams and I'm so glad they weren't totally lost. There were some casualties, and sadly, I may never find out what happened in those. But I am glad for what I got, and I will get new back up batteries. And hopefully not make that mistake again any time soon! I also did a good job of not getting too upset or beating myself up. I just went straight to salvaging the dreams, which is what matters most. And, it is okay to make mistakes while learning. Mistakes are a sign of growing. Remember, be gentle with yourself.

    Round 1:
    I know I only remembered one or two fragments to begin with anyway. But now I am totally clueless as to what they were. My feelings when I forget a dream are very intense. It feels like something was ripped out of me. Like there is a void in my soul.

    Round 2:

    I had some trouble falling back to sleep but eventually got there. Where my memory of it starts, I was in this meeting room. (hidden) and another older woman with blonde ish grey hair were there. There were these metal fold up chairs. Someone said how (hidden) and the other woman had smoked. Although I didn’t smell it, I didn’t notice it was a dream (yet). I got mad and started kind of cussing them out for trailing in smoke. I kind of wondered where the scent was, though. As I yelled at them, I kind of got away from them. I forgot if there was any back lash for yelling at them.

    At some point I became lucid. I am not sure how. My friend (hidden) was wearing a shirt that said, “Satan hates Lucifer” and it had some wave designs on it, and other symbols. I ask him what it means. (Abruptly switching from past to present tense!) We go up some short flight of steps, up to a little platform before a door. (hidden) is also there with us. I know it is a dream. I stare at the wave design on (hidden)’s(hidden)shirt, which becomes mezmerizing. I have a sense that it is activating something within the dream.

    Gradually I appear in my bed, but in “the phase”. Gradually, I feel parts of my body separate. It happens mostly on its own, as if I am being lifted by reverse gravity, but at some points I gently go along with it. I feel some fear. The idea comes to mind that I could think about a place I want to appear, and maybe I will appear there. So I think “beautiful beach” as I float upwards. I am careful not to open my eyes in my room. I want to be in the sky, not just end up in my room. I feel myself pass through the ceiling, and I am up and out.

    I slowly open my eyes, kind of blinking at first. Squinting, then fully open. I can see bright stars on a dark navy blue sky. I am in the air. There is some orange glow in the horizon, as if it is a sun rise or sun set. It is really spectacular, and just one of those things that is beyond words. It is hyper realistic. I look down and see I am flying over a beach. I am a little dissappointed because it is just the local beach. It looks to be near or at (hidden) near the tunnel. But hey, I am flying, and there is water, so I can try to enjoy it!

    I fly over the water and notice a body of sand to my right. I am actually using a breast stroke swimming motion as I go through the air. I am afraid someone in the physical world will see me, as if I am in a ghost form. As I fly, I also think about what to tell people about it. I feel like I am telling the world about it as I go in some way.

    I could have probably flown up to space. I was flying well. But I didn’t think of that. Well, what happened was good anyway.

    Looking at the water, I decide to fly into it. (I had been thinking about water dreams a lot the past few days.) When I cross the water’s surface, it becomes dark. Maybe its because I usually close my eyes under water, and I didn’t put on “dream goggles.” I am suddenly scared to feel around, as is what usually happens when I enter water. Then it is brighter than it even was above the water’s surface. I look around and there is a cluster of muscles (shell fish). They look scary and briney. I am scared there will be something scarier. Red boxing gloves also appear, scattered about the ground, underwater, there. That is a little silly. I am fully aware it’s a dream the whole time.

    A lot of times, I have had trouble flying back out of water, once I have flown into it. This might be because while flying is for traveling through the air, swimming is really for the water, not flying. However, I usually try to fly back out, and no motion occurs. What I think I need to do is SWIM to the surface, then do an “Up + A” jump like in Mario. In video games, the characters can somehow jump up out of the water from swimming at its surface, without touching any ground. So I basically need to do that, then catch myself before I fall back into the water, and fly up from there. Other times I have got lucky and eventually flown or sprung out, but I’d like to be able to do it more skillfully. Once I was on the ocean floor and a T Rex was running at me. I flew up, but slowed by the water. Eventually I gained speed and bursted up out of the water is if shot by a cannon. But it was close. Of course teleportation would probably also work, or lots of other things.

    After letting me experience that for a moment, the dream let me out of the water. I think I briefly woke up, but then the dream took me back to the same location, just on the dry land this time. I heard some voices off to the left, like a child crying. I think there was one more time I woke up for a second, and re appeared at the beach for another second, and woke up again.

    But I stayed still, and realized I was in “the phase”. I got the idea to make slight “physical” movements but I think my actual physical body wasn’t moving. It was just that I was generating sensations of movement.

    I re appear in the same room that I was in before, where I fought with the smokers, and saw my friend’s shirt. I might have forgot some parts, but not due to the voice recorder power loss. I hadn’t remembered them to begin with.

    (hidden) appears. I feel a sense of familiarity with him. I told him I was afraid to forget my dream so far. I still knew it was a dream. He was very understanding. I think we talked some more but I forgot some of it. He kind of appeared as a dream guide I think. I was so sure it was actually him. The thing about shared dreaming is, if you try to ask the person, they might not think the dream happened. But maybe they just didn’t remember! So shared dreaming will appear to be false if you do it with people who aren’t at a super high level of dream recall. Shared dreaming might not be easy to prove, but it might still be happening. I believe in shared dreaming regardless of all the skepticism.

    There was a guy there who I knew from the local gym growing up. He has appeared in my dreams at times. I used to be really into weight lifting and the other high level weight lifters always made an impression on me. He was saying how someone should buy their kids cricket, so they could play cricket. And he also said that people should stop smoking. It was such a good feeling to hear someone else agree with me on that. I reached over him to pat him on the shoulder, but managed to get my arm pit in his face in the process. I was like, whoops, now he had to smell my arm pit. That was kind of silly.

    (Back to present tense! I would get a bad grade on an English paper!)

    Then we are all going outside. I still know it’s a dream. Before we go outside, my orange glasses and a few other familiar items I almost always keep with me in waking life appear. The familiarity is helpful. I pick them all up before going outside.

    We all go outside the little building there. I realize that the dream is going to continue, so I decide to tell (hidden) about my dream thus far. Then, an ominous or malevolent prescence is felt. It whips me up like a cyclone, but no one else is lifted up that I can see. I am in a state of non resistance, but I also have the thought that this thing is going to possess me and turn me against all the other people there. They will not see the malevolent force or be aware of it. They will just think it is me, becoming a bad guy, when really it is this dark force taking control of me. That all goes through me head as I am whipped around in this cyclone. I guess a lot of my expectations that come up during dreams, which then go to create the events, come from religious beliefs I was taught growing up. So I see dreaming as a way to kind of practice new more healthier beliefs. I pretty much try to be in a state of non resistance to all the things that occur in the dreams. That is my ideal but a lot of times I have some level of fear or resistance anyway.

    Well, I woke up from those. I expected to rush straight to my voice recorder, but when I actually felt myself in my physical bed, no longer in the phase, I realized that was silly. I have to stay still and think it through first! So I did just that, and gradually, slowly but surely, it all came back to me. I don’t meditate a lot in waking life, but I think when I wake up from a dream, and concentrate on recalling it, that’s really the closest thing to real meditation I ever do. There were no blips in dream recall and I am glad because this was my first L D of this caliber in at least a week or two.


    Round 3:
    I had a little difficult falling back to sleep again, but eventually got there. What a relief.

    My dream memory of these starts with me in the (hidden) kitchen. (hidden) was eating some food from a tupperware. Something happened and she seemed to become sad. I found some turkey and cheese in the fridge and decided to make a sandwich. I went out to the garage. I had two toasted pieces of buttered bread. I was putting that together with the turkey and cheese, listening to (hidden)(I didn’t know it was a dream yet.)

    I haven’t eaten really any animal products except fish oil for almost 2 years now, so in the dream, I was kind of wondering why I was about to eat this turkey. I took a bite anyway. It felt like biting into a baseball glove sandwich. I bit down harder and tasted some salty turkey, but still it was tough. Then I realized that the turkey might be old. I went into the kitchen to check the date on the package, but couldn’t find it. I got mad. I was like, “WTF?! Where’s the packaging?” Kind of yelling.

    As I went through the fridge, I saw that my Dad had really stocked up on green vegetables. There was even a big duffel bag on the right hand side of the middle shelf. I was like, they sell groceries in duffel bags now? But generally impressed with my Dad’s vegetable selection. I also remember standing at the kitchen counter, afraid I would actually get some energy from the turkey, and become an animal eater again. I got a bad sinking feeling from losing my streak of pseudo-veganism, like the feeling of realization I have sometimes felt after falling off my diet or off the wagon. Luckily it was just a dream! I also felt bad because I thought it was for my Dad’s lunch.

    I probably forgot some other stuff. I think there was a major flying part where I phased through a window and flew, but the dream was super long. I think there was also a part where we were at a beach, which also happened again later.

    The next part I clearly remember is hearing a guy say that he doesn’t listen to a lot of youtube or spiritual talks but Facebook is what puts him in Zen mode. I actually set my facebook to delete some time within the last 2 weeks and so I think it was a reminder to see if I am really sure about deleting it. I thought it was interesting that someone could see how facebook puts them in “Zen Mode” when I always saw it as a distraction. Well, I could always start over on facebook, if I really wanted.

    That transitioned to a meeting with my Mom, some African American people and some Caucasian people. I forgot what they were saying, but I think it was from some “I’m having a boy!” V Logs I watched the previous day.

    At some point I realized it was a dream. I was with family, which probably came from seeing family on Easter. It was like they wouldn’t let me go, but I wanted to go do my own thing. I ran away, telling myself, “It’s not really them! It is just a dream!” (Switching to present tense.) I run down the hall of this building, hearing my Aunt (hidden) call after me. I see the door for me to press open at the end of the hall. Then, there is a glass window, maybe two foot tall by one foot wide. Instead of opening the door, I attempt to phase through the window. I am very surprised when it works! And I am up in the sky once again.

    The sky is blue this time. More like daytime. I realize that my family members might run after me and look up, seeing me in flight. So I fly up onto the roof where I will be out of sight.

    I knew it was a dream, but I am not sure what my action means. I usually try to give the “benefit of the doubt” to the dream figures that they might be my actual family and such, and treat them with equal respect. Running out on them and flying wouldn’t align with that ideal. But I have not always gotten along with my family that great so maybe I had enough from the holiday and needed to be on my own. (I haven’t always gotten along with anyone that great!)

    There might have been some other stuff I forgot. I was in and out of lucidity. I was talking to someone before a meeting started. Switch to present tense. The meeting is beginning. Someone wants to smoke. Another group member informs them that they have to go far from the building to do so. They reply, “Aw, man, I have to miss the beginning.” And leave. Another fellow, who will appear again later, is smoking an Electronic Cigarette. My blood boils. “You smokers better keep your bleeping mouths shut,” I say. We sit as if to meditate. I am about to close my eyes when I notice a fellow to my right, lighting a cigarette, right there in the middle of the group. I rip the cigarette and lighter out of his mouth and mash my palm into his nose.

    Afraid of retaliation, I get up to leave. I continually check if anyone is chasing me, but no one is. I walk out this hall way made of all glass. When I get outside, I see (hidden), or someone I call (hidden) in my mind. He is at the top of an escalator, which seems to be my way “home”. Two guys get in my way though, and try to block me. I explain that I have been dreaming so long, and I just want to go home. (A lot more happened than I was even able to remember. This was a LONG dream. I think the earlier parts of flying and being at the beach that I forgot were HUGE, but just too much to recall at once. I usually try to stay in the dream as long as I can anyway though, even though I’m aware sometimes too long a dream leads to forgetting parts. I hear about people waking themselves up prematurely so they don’t forget it, but I can’t see myself doing that. )

    I wash up on the beach thing again. I am on a life raft with (hidden) and a woman about my age. She has dark hair and she is pretty. I am aware she smoked an electronic cigarette earlier in the dream, but I am still really attracted to her. I know it’s a dream anyway. (I would be very careful not to kiss anyone who has ingested substances like nicotene or other drugs or alcohol in waking life, since it would be in their saliva or blood stream, and I don’t want it in my system. So this is on my mind in the dream.) She seems to like me too, and I decide to kiss her, because it doesn’t seem like her nicotene will be transmitted to my physical blood stream within the dream. (hidden)When I got back into the dream, I was still washing up onto the beach thing. I had to save the woman. The water was a cartoonish blue. The tide was coming up fast. (hidden) pushed two cans into the sand to make a marker for where the tide was. I worried we would have nothing to drink. I had a glass jar. I caught this little shark thing in the glass jar. It was just a little longer than the jar. I figured this would give us food or water or both. I touched the shark thing and it was really sharp, like it was made of knives. There were a bunch more of these sharp sharks swimming by the shore, and so I ran out of there even faster. Someone, I think it was (hidden), released the shark at one point. I kind of wanted to keep it, but moved on. I think my lucidity level was fluctuating and I wasn’t exercising much dream control if any.

    When we got up to the high tide mark, the water had pretty much followed us all the way there. There was a big moving truck on the beach that we could use as shelter. A guy was going into it to rest. I saw the guy I had told off in the previous meeting with the smokers. Not the guy whose face I mashed but the guy who had the E cigarette. I felt like the dream was never going to let me go until I sort of took it easy on the smokers. It would keep putting me back through some exposure to smokers, then wash me up on the beach after I attacked them again, until I broke the cycle by just taking it easy on them.

    (Switch to present tense.) I look into the guy’s eyes and they are sky blue. They also have purple splotches. I am really struggling to get words out. It is like my pride is symbolized in the dream as an extreme strain to say the words to the guy. It sounds like I am heaving to breathe or something. But I am trying to say that I am sorry and explain that I have to apologize to break free of the dream cycle we are currently in. The guy says I don’t have to apologize, but I insist. (I think that was the second time I had that type of difficulty speaking within the dream.)

    I realize its still “my” dream and I don’t have to stay here. I demand more time with the woman from before. The dream complies immediately, but I sense there is more to it than that. The woman is up in my face ready to fight. I am like, oh, man, this is going to be different. At first, I’m not happy with it. I could even see it going nightmarish. The woman’s lips become like big green Piccolo lips with razor teeth. Her face does some other kinds of morphs. When I accept the dream’s will, it shifts again, and the woman and I become power stars like in Mario, but not the exact shape. We fly around like it’s a video game, running into monsters and blowing them up. Points appear like in Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles. It isn’t what I expected, but its kind of cool. Actually its beyond my wildest dreams! We fly up over this railing on a platform and into a corridor.

    Then I had a false awakening of dream journaling or telling someone about the dream. I was mainly describing how in the dream, I had hardly any pride blocking me from making an apology, like I do in waking life. That was very transformative to even feel what that could be like. Then, I was describing how I accepted the dream’s will after I had asserted my own and been sort of played a joke on. And how it shifted again to something we both liked. I felt like I had recorded most of the beginning of the dream.

    Then this movie started to play. I thought it was an actual dream recorder, and it was playing a part of the recording of my dream to me. But that part didn’t seem familiar. I just figured I better pay attention so I could record it, not knowing it was still a dream. I felt so overwhelmed by how long the dream was.

    The dream movie showed these three police officer guys on top of a bus thing. They all had cannons. (hidden)I woke up from that. I knew I was in my physical bed for sure, and the reality of how long the dream was hit me hard. I did my best to think through it, one detail at a time. Luckily, I didn’t need the bathroom, so I could stay perfectly still for a long time. Eventually I moved a little and flicked my voice recorder on, not knowing it had run out of battery, and hadn’t been plugged in! Luckily, the intensity of the dream, and the effort I put into intially recalling it, caused me to still remember it enough to type it as soon as I realized the technology hadn’t been on. I will never know if I left anything out. It seems like a complete recollection of what I initially remembered, but I will never know! So I have to be careful in the future, and make sure it always has fresh batteries in it.


    Round 4:

    I was in and out of these dreams, recording a few sentences, and falling back asleep. So, I lost some of the earlier parts. No clue what they were! I really wonder.

    There was a part where I was playing in a Mario platformer. There was some kind of ice level. I got Mario to do a “wall jump” as he was sliding down between two green tubes, about to fall off the stage. I was surprised it actually worked, then kept it up. Then I had to go down this Bowser Slide thing. Bowser was sliding down with me. He said, “Only 25 feet to go. Hop onto me!” So I jumped on him and his spikes hurt me. I also slid off the slide onto the abyss once, re spawned, and got to the end of the slide. That was more like S M 64.

    In the next part, I was going through some rooms. I needed to go #1 within the dream but not in waking life. The (hidden) hall monitor lady from my high school came in and I couldn’t go #1. The room had this big circle thing in the center. (hidden)

    I walked around the circle thing and my orange glasses appeared there. I didn’t know it was a dream.

    I woke up from that and recorded it, too. Or, at least thought I did. Then I fell back asleep and continued going through the rooms. I had to find something to stir my spinach shake. In the next room was a giant and very dangerous looking knife. It looked like our main steak knife but bigger and sharper. There was a guard there and a king type of character. I referred to the king as “His highness” to the guard, asking if I could use the knife to stir my shake. It was in a tub of soap water. The answer was no, but I found a fork that would work just as well, without the danger. I also asked the guard if “his highness” could tell me whether all the doors in this castle were “warp rooms”. I said that I didn’t really need to know, since it was a dream. The funny thing is, I don’t think I was lucid. But still, I said that.

    Notes:
    I was surprised to be reminded of a detail about Round 2 I had totally forgotten by a later dream detail. I haven’t had to type this much in a while since I decided to just keep all my notes in the voice recorder, which is easier for me, and then type small summaries if I really want to. Forcing myself to type this today reminded of what it was like when I used to type every detail of every dream, every day. Rigorous! But today, I had to do it, before all was lost. It took me hours to type all this. If I had to go into a job today, I would have called in and said, “Hey, boss, sorry, I can’t come to work today. My dream notes didn’t make it to my voice recorder so I have to type them all up.” It was 4,788 words!
    fogelbise likes this.

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    Comments

    1. fogelbise's Avatar
      Great recall and congrats on the lucids Charles! When I read that opening paragraph, I realized I need to treat my recall with more importance otherwise it will never be as lengthy as yours here. Great stuff!
      Charles3 likes this.
    2. Charles3's Avatar
      Thanks fogelbise! I can't believe you read the whole thing (or even tried). Its not actually as much dream recall as it looks like, I just make every dream detail very wordy! LOL
      fogelbise likes this.
    3. fogelbise's Avatar
      I read the whole thing indeed. The details make the image of the dream more rich, that's a good thing...just a lot of work I'm sure. I know that I need to spend more time with recall. I know some people just use brief descriptions and I started to do that but I think it has impacted my lucid practice and success lately (not the only thing impacting it, but a part of it) so I am putting more focus back into recall. I used to spend a good amount of time laying in bed going through the recall and I like how you noted somewhere that it increases your chances for DEILD, which I knew, but none-the-less neglected.
      Charles3 likes this.
    4. Charles3's Avatar
      I recently was doing research and found I might be choline deficient. Its my understanding that choline plays a big role in dream recall? But I don't eat animal products so I have a lot less choline. Did you ever try choline? I might get bulk choline for 10 dollars for 100 grams and try it. Maybe it will help me recall those parts of my dreams I get stuck on.
    5. fogelbise's Avatar
      I have tried choline but I paired it with galantamine (a fairly common lucid dreaming combination), but I have never taken it anywhere near a supplemental frequency which it sounds like you might be considering for choline. It seems I've been trying that combo no more than once per month lately and sometimes it's a few months between. I use it for nice long lucid dreams. You might research if it it is easy to build a tolerance to choline making it less effective (galantamine has this issue and thus you should space out any use of it 3-4 days minimum). I kind of doubt choline has big tolerance issues since it is naturally in a good number of animal products, but I really have no idea. It might also be worth discussing with your doctor to see if they have any input.

      You know, you're recall seems well above average so I am not sure you need to change anything up. You also seem to be getting a good frequency of lucid dreams, better than mine right now. That said, I think that I have read that choline is an important part of one's diet.