dream fragment

After over a year, dreaming has caught my attention again because I meditate every day (for about 2 weeks now)

a few days ago I was taking a nap. Because of more awareness and sleep deprivation I was able to fall asleep without drifting entirely away. I couldn't move and realized I must be sleeping, but I forced myself to wake up because I thought I heard steps

I decided to wait if I get a similar experience in the next few days.

Today I took a nap too, again with sleep deprivation. I was falling asleep and forced myself to stay in control. It was a little bit like WILD I guess, but I couldn't quite control everything when I was dreaming, the clarity and vividness were below average and the duration was ridiculous.

I remember being in the ocean at first. I knew I was dreaming so I tried to dive and breathe water. It worked, but not as good as I expected. I was floating underwater and observing a reef. I forgot that I was dreaming for a few moments, but I remembered it again when I saw a cat with a jetpack. I normally don't dream about such unrealistic things, but this time I did *shrugs*

I tried to make the cat-dream go away, took me about 20 seconds until I was on a street in a friendly looking neighborhood. Except there were huge weapons in every garage. I even had to destroy 2 weapons because they seemed to want to kill me when I stepped on their property. I didn't quite have control over this dream, I was however able to remember that it's just a dream and I was able to just walk away from the deadly weapons. I walked over to a guy who sold some random things, and I remembered that people in dreams often say interesting things, so I tried to talk with him. I didn't say anything, I just stared at him and expected him to say something but he simply stared back. I was trying really hard to make him say something, but then I woke up.

I might take another nap after my daily meditation and see if I can continue this dream.

Date: May 5
Sleep Length: 7h
Techniques: DILD
Summary:
(1) I was in a classroom with a bunch of people (about 50), I sat on a seat on a platform, about 3 meters above the floor, together with a friend of mine (v) I remember seeing the ceiling from above, as if I was inside it. We were drawing stuff. A friend of mine (jt) drew mice with blood around their mouths and I drew a naked lady and said "It's a leftover from the last international women's day"... I'm normally not sexist or anything. There was more, but I forgot the rest because I didn't write it down
(2) I was on a journey or something, it was summer I think. Well, it was night and I sat on a table with my father and some strange people (guests, probably friends of my dad). The chairs looked like the chairs from my elementary school. For some reason I had to go outside and walk a few miles.
(3) It was drizzling and I locked a car. very grey, so many clouds. I was in a small village I think. I forgot so much because I didn't write it down.
Vividness/Awareness: 2/2
emotions: indifference
tags: classroom, v, ceiling, drawings;; vacation, guests, table, hiking;; car, drizzle

Date: May 4
Sleep length: 3h + 5h
Techniques: DILD + WBTB
Dream Summary:
(pre) at first, I remembered another dream because of this dream. dream (1) is a sequel of this dream: I was in a forest with a friend of mine. We used to do drugs in a certain forest, but this time we didn't. It looked like autumn, everything was red. We were at a big hollow and suddenly we noticed a police officer with a drug dog. We laughed and said "Luckily we don't have drugs"
(1) well guess what happens in now. We are at this hollow again, and he got some weird drug. It was mixed with coffee for some reason... He hasn't told me which drug he used though. I thought it was Meth or Cocaine. The effect was more like Weed and a bit Acid though. I blacked out for a moment, when I woke up the drug-mug was under the bench we were sitting on and we were blown away. I tried to stand up and fell down. I was trying to throw away some weird empty blunt which was covered in a yellow liquid. Then we wanted to go away, but of course there was this drug dog again, as expected. We wanted to go away without him noticing, but he already smelled us so we started running. Here's the action part of this dream. I was running and thinking and I thought I was gonna get some "police letter" and I was also kinda afraid of this dog. I realized it's probably too late and turned around. I wanted to keep my dignity. But I couldn't find the police, so I just turned around again and started running again. I ran through the red forest to a field and gradually woke up. When I woke up I continued thinking about running, until I realized it's a dream and I should write it down.
(2) When I was writing (1), I remembered (2). I was playing pokemon like back when I was a kid. It was fun, I tried to catch a rare pokemon. I went to my balcony to play there, it was night and pretty dark. This is really just a fragment, I was hearing voices from a room with an opened window. It was my mother and a guest.
Vividness/Awareness: 8/2
Emotions: trust - indifference - shock - fear - worry - guilt
Tags: drug, coffee mug, forest, autumn, police dog, running;; balcony, pokemon

Note: I would normally separate dream (1) into 2 dreams, but they're kinda connected, because in both dreams there was a voice which told me I can summon things by expecting them to appear

Date: Apr 30
Sleep length: 7.5h
Techniques: DILD
Dream Summary:
(1) I was located at the middle of an ocean. There was no land around me, I basically didn't have a body in this dream, my eyes just levitated above the water. I heard a voice telling me to imagine a ship. It was the voice of a teacher. I started to see a ship. It was long, very white and clean, with some red stripes. Then the voice said I should imagine that it's levitating... and of course it started levitating then. It started to look more like a train and less like a ship. And it started to turn into 2 ships, a (still) long one, and an almost spherical one.
Then I was at a completely different location. I was in a forest, with big trees. The reason I'm merging those 2 locations into one dream is because I still heard the voice telling me what to imagine/expect. As if the voice was trying to tell me that anything I expect starts to exist. But I was too stupid to become aware of the situation. There was a row of people, and they all started trying to create big trees. I should have created one too, but I didn't want to, I just stood up and looked at the trees the other people have created. Some trees were beautiful, others were grey and almost looked like concrete. One tree was crooked and broken. Then I found I person I hate in wake life, li. The weird thing is, I get along with her in my dreams, as if we're friends. Maybe it's a message by my subconscious that I should give her a chance before judging her. The tree she has summoned was amazing. I laid down on the ground, it was very sunny and I looked up at her tree. I think I couldn't even see the top, it was huge. There were no branches either. The last thing I remember about this dream is being rather content and seeing her smiling.
(2) This is only a fragment, really. I've been in a desert, or maybe somewhere else, but in any case it was pretty dry and warm/hot. There was an AV star, but I didn't find her attractive. She was about 40 or so, and she was on a swing. We were talking about something, but I don't remember the topic. I guess I woke up then
Vividness/Awareness: 2/2
Emotions: content
Tags: levitating ship, small ship, forest, big trees, li, teacher;; AV star, swing, desert

Note: I forgot most of the dream because I moved in my bed, I remembered it 20 minutes after I woke up. I don't know why I remembered it, it just came to me. I had the feeling that I have had 3 dreams, but I only remembered one.
I had an important exam today, so I didn't think about my dreams.

Date: Apr 24
Sleep Length: 8h
Techniques: DILD
Dream Summary:
(1) I was at a municipal public pool with my father and sister, and I was gonna use a slide like in my childhood. when I was at the end of the slide I saw a japanese girl, a bit younger than me. Since I like japanese culture I tried to talk to her. I said some japanese phrases and she said some phrases as well, I understood parts of it, then she tried speaking german. We were at some weird place, it seemed to be close to the pool but it looked like a room in a basement... pretty weird. Oh, she said something like konbanwa [...], and I didn't understand her.
Vividness (1-15), Awareness (1-10): 2/2
Emotions: none?
Tags: public pool, family, slide, conversation: japanese, languages

Date: Apr 22
Sleep Length: 4.5h - (WBTB) - 6h (= 10.5h)
Techniques: DILD + WBTB
I also wrote down what happened to me that day, which is said to help dream recall
Dream Summary:
(1) I was dreaming about my piano classes and my piano teacher. I arrived in the classroom and there was a bunch of other musicians, but I don't like music groups, so I just sneaked away. I'm not sure if this is part of the same dream, but I was also having a rehearsal with 2-3 of my friends for some sing and dance show. We did some weird group dance and we weren't bad, but we were bad when the audience was watching.
(2) I was in the bathtub, and basically just thinking about stuff. I was thinking about posters I've seen on the streets. They seem to have been about fetishes, like japanese domina, bdsm and stuff like that. Probably because my father who's been in japan has seen such things
(3) I tried to remember this dream, but I was afraid I'd forget dream (1) then. I remember a fragment about a hill, and someone has been acting like a slut. There were rumors or we were talking behind her back, idk, in any case it felt like an american high school movie
(4) I was meeting a friend of mine (V), IWL he has a plane, in my dream I had a plane, and he kinda borrowed it. It was a small plane, but I loved it. For some reason there was a pixel mario drawn onto the door. I wasn't actually dreaming it, but I imagined using that plane to go skydiving. For some reason I checked his steam account (what a deep dream sign) and noticed he played lots of pokemon recently... go figure
Vividness (1-15), Awareness (1-10), Length (min): 3/2/30
Emotions: mostly indifferent
Tags: piano, teacher, group musicians, stage;; bathtub (morning), fetish (posters);; hill, slut;; plane, skydiving V, games

Note: I'm happy about my dream recall quantity. 2 dreams per awakening. Odd detail: when I woke up for WBTB, I remembered 3 dreams and wrote tags down. When I woke up in the morning I didn't remember anything about dream (4). When I wrote down the other dreams, I started to remember more details about dream (1) and suddenly recalled dream (4)

Date: Apr 21
Sleep Length: 4.5h - (WBTB) - 1h light sleep
Techniques: DILD + WBTB (+WILD)
I got up for WBTB and thought I could try WILD. I killed some time and got back to bed, but then hunger started to distract me. WILD was impossible (I tried but distraction was too much), I tried to sleep, but I could barely fall asleep. I rolled over and over and couldn't find a comfortable spot, after an hour I got up and gave up (WBTB failed)
Dream Summary:
I dreamed that a friend of mine (K) was my girlfriend, even though I don't have feelings for her. She seemed to be pissed off or angry at me, but I can't remember why. In any case, she was doing chores in my sister's room. I offered her to cuddle and calm down, but I don't remember the rest.
Another fragment: I remember being at an old looking house, everything was a bit rusty or dirty. but there was an elevator (small but it worked). I think I did something in the kitchen, but I forgot the rest while trying to remember the first fragment
Vividness (1-15), Awareness (1-10), Length (min): 2/1/5
Emotions: mostly indifferent
Tags: girlfriend, annoyed, cuddle, chores; house, elevator

Note: I woke up before my alarm went off

Note: still no proper dream, never mind LD, but it's only the 3rd day after all... gotta have patience!

Date: Apr 20
Sleep Length: 4h + 3h (7h)
Techniques: DILD + WBTB
I just wanted to sleep. WBTB was a mistake.
I did lots of RC and Daytime Awareness before.
Dream Summary:
You can't call that a dream. I simply remember I was being a girl... for some reason. I'm not transgender, but I was being a girl.
edit: I just remembered I was wearing a shirt with a quote by someone called Harry or Henry, it was something satiric or cynic, and a friend of mine (L.R.) asked me if I was wearing a shirt by that Harry/Henry and we were talking about it
*happy that I suddenly remembered another fragment*
Vividness (1-15), Awareness (1-10), Length (min): 0/0/0
Emotions: none
Signs: none
Tags: transsexual?, girl

Date: Apr 19
Sleep Length: 4.5h + 3.5h (8h)
Techniques: SSILD + DILD
I almost accidentally did WILD after I prepared SSILD. I was falling asleep (SP), my mind was still half awake, I could almost enter a dream after I've seen lights and flashes, then I woke up again.
SSILD failed probably because it took me very long to fall asleep after the cycles (~20 mins) and I have to get used to the situation of getting up at 3:30 and doing meditation
Dream Summary:
You can't call that a dream. I simply remember an underground garage and my stepmom
during SSILD I had one FA (I think). I wasn't really asleep
Vividness (1-15), Awareness (1-10), Length (min): 0/0/0
Emotions: none
Signs: none
Tags: Underground garage, stepmom

Note: I drank alcohol before I went to bed (beer and wine), which probably affected my dream recall and sleep

this is my first entry
Apr 18, I can't remember anything from last night. I tried some kind of Mantra and RC, I fell asleep quickly, when I woke up I immediately asked myself "What did I dream?", but there was no memory
I didn't expect much, as this is my first try after 2 and a half years.

now I will write down previous memories that might be important (2011)
Noteworthy recurring details:
big rooms and halls
locations I know with a little change (eg: there's a river instead of a street, clover instead of grass, etc)
open terrain (streets, fields, nature, outside), rarely rooms (if so, normally big rooms)
perspective: It's like I don't have a body, only flying eyes. Pretty passive, normally only observing things. The only dreams in which I had a body were pretty intense/vivid (almost lucid), I normally don't smell/feel/taste, only in intense dreams

I just read my old DJ from 2011 and 2012 and noticed I dreamed less often than I thought.
My quantity record on a day was 4 dreams. My quantity record in a week was about somewhere between 5 and 10 dreams, even though I never dreamed more than 4 days a week and never more than 3 days in a row
it took me pretty long to get a better recall, which is a bit demotivating, but I might learn quicker this time, because I was already able to remember my dreams fairly good (for my standards, I guess I was never good)