Cynical

December 21, 2011

There was a weird video game thing where I had to escape from a town full of murderous people.*

It all started when I went to a restaurant with my family. The waitress smacked me in the back of the head with a metal pan, and I woke up in a hospital. The nurse was beautiful, and we talked for around 20 minutes. She told me she was going to have to perform some exams on me. Being me, I assumed she was being flirty. So I agreed.*

** I remember I was doing a bridge when, upside down, I saw her approaching with a fucking katana. *She swung in slow motion, and I sprung to my feet in a split second, while my hand was grasping her weapon. She flew down in front of me, and I realized she was naked. Restraining urges, I held the sword over her body firmly, then something came over me.*

**I performed the "Torture of One Thousand Pieces", where I slowly cut off her flesh, one piece at a time, until she would tell me who she was, who sent her after me and why she did it. After there was a pile of skin bigger than her, (not sure how it happened) she wouldn't budge. All of her nerve endings were exposed, so I simply stabbed those repeatedly. She was starting to piss me off, so I swung the sword across her head, like a golf putt. Her decapitated head was crying.*

**I leaped out of the window, which happened to belong to the seventh floor. My sword was raised in front of me, pointing at the ground so that I could have it absorb the shock. After my safe landing, I surveyed the area, and I decided to head to the police station, twirling my katana in my hand.*

**When someone is greeted with gunshots, they don't take it well. I was no exception. Thankfully my reflexes were beyond godly for some reason. (I kept spinning the katana around in a circle really fast) They looked at me, then at each other. They threw their guns at me, which was kind of stupid. Their aim was pretty awful, and now the officers were gunless and they had nowhere to run.*

*I threw my sword at one officer, impaling his head on the wall. The other guy could only watch in horror as his buddy's headless corpse knocked him over. *I asked the man why they were attacking me, and they asked me what I would do if someone walked in on me with a big sword in their hands. I shrugged and sliced his heart open.*

**The townspeople barged into the police station, with their own swords. They all seemed like they wanted me dead. I charged at the leader, wrestling the sword out of his hand, giving me two blades. At the moment, the thought that maybe I could wield four blades crossed my mind, so I threw both swords at the idiots charging me. One got a free castration, the other just got stabbed in the stomach. I walked over to them and picked up my swords and theirs. *

**After I found a comfortable way to wield two katanas in each hand, I went to town on the mob. (Hurr get it?)*

I woke up, wishing it was longer.*