non-lucid

I am in a retreat setting. There is a guy who has arrived back to meet both me and Louise but also of course continue with his meditation. He has climbed to the highest mountain in Spain and is prepared to put all his differences aside and get back to the thorough job of meditation. He is so joyful and full of respect for us even though he is so much older than us. We are in a small flat like area that is not the usual setting I am use to in retreat. There is an office out the back and a social area in the middle.

We move to an actual retreat and we are sharing about different aspects of our life. We eventually get into a meditation and and after a short session there is a chance to look at some of items on display. I am helping out with the displays and as I get some of the items ready a lady my friend Bernie Jeffrys notices the pain or trapped nerves in my shoulder. She puts a healing hand on it and I go into meditation. I can feel my breathing lightly in a one-pointed way and even when one of the retreatants come up to me asking me about the products I do not answer as the focus and the healing seems so important. The pain moves further up in my shoulder. It has shifted and Bernie looks at me with soft eyes and I say that really helped the pain has moved on to a new stage.


Brian is explaining to me about all these different ritual items. I think he is just talking to me one to one. He starts also explaining the Christmas tree which should be a dream sign but he does it so convincingly I believe it. There is something really magical about the tree as he explains it. When a look back there are lots of other Sangha members at the meeting.

This was a very vivid hospital scene where I was waiting for my anesthetic before an endoscopy. An endoscopy involves quite a lot of hospital tech including the usual blood pressure and pulse, anesthetic plus the machine to do the investigation into the stomach. It is a long tube which goes in the mouth and has a camera on the end. There are also devices for taking samples. I was on the hospital bed and one of the team a lady in her late 40s perhaps who seemed very kind but I knew was just doing here job. I said to her that I usually get a heavy anesthetic because I can be troublesome and reject the scope. She said "Oh yes I remember you from years ago. That is no problem.". They would normally never say something that impolite so I was a bit shocked by that. Anyhow she placed what i thought would be the usual stuff in my mouth but it felt different it was small but I trusted the process. She said to the team that she was going to administer the anesthetic. As she did I started to feel the effects of it and instead of going completely out and then waking up after in the recovery bed I just woke up at home this morning

In another dream before this I met some good friends from the past. They were happy and alert as usual. We were at a retreat and were gathering around the table. I was bringing a friend with me who I forget who it was. This was not the normal retreat setting but it was very kind and warm atmosphere.

In the dream before that I met an old friend of mine who is best friends of my brother in law. He was wondering what I was up to these days. We were in the City chatting and he was asking me how many rooms were in my house. He was happy that I was doing well. The city was looking dark and rainy but with plenty of activity. It was noisy.

There was a leader in our group which I think was BadAssLongCoat and we were dealing with the invasion of what I think was Team Dewey into what was clearly my old house. I was living in the bottom floor of the house and there was a yard out the back which the invasion took place. We had had a problem because they had tried a couple of times to infiltrate and I'm afraid we felt they were looking to steal, kill and take over our base. We were taking the invasion very seriously but I did not realise how serious the weapons Team Dewey had. BadAss was checking my old steps which lead up the garden which was the most likely place they were to come down when I looked up and was really shocked. It was BlairBros with the most serious Bow and Arrow I could ever imagine aiming it directly at BadAss. "Watch Out" I shouted. It looked like the bow and arrows from Hunger Games. It was made of black graphite with a steel tipped arrow. BadAss would not survive if it impacted. I went running into the flat to find what I could to help with this battle. I found the biggest knife that we had when we were small in the kitchen. It had a blade on top which looks like a serpents tongue. When I went back to the yard I was sure BadAss would be dead but he was dueling BlairBros in a hand to hand combat. I grabbed BlairBros by the head turned him over and ... well put it this way it wasnt pretty. I don't know who won but I was surprised that I wasn't scared.

Dream One (1hr into my sleep): I kept seeing a washing machine or some kindof appliance. There was a whole in the ceiling which looked like it had been just made with an ax. The bits of chip board were falling off. It was making a deep impression on my body and particularly my heart. I felt like there was someone communicating with me but I was not sure what to do. I thought this might help me do well in the competition but then I woke up and was confused about what messages I was getting. I had some food in IWL did a reality check and went back to sleep.

I woke up again at 4hrs into my sleep with my alarm got cosey and went back to sleep again.

Dream Two: (5hrs into my sleep): I was looking at a computer screen obviously at dreamviews but I almost seemed to be inside the computer. I was very excited about what I was doing but did not know how to do. The dream competition was complicated and I did not know how my mind was going to be able to enter as if it went its usual way I would not be able to participate. Then i got a tip through dreamviews which affect my whole mind. I was able to experience lucidity and it broke my serious mind which was blocking me entering the competition. This was very experiential. As soon as I went on with my usual schemas they would instantly be broken and it would be brought back. A bit like a massage on the mind. That is how I was experiencing it and it was keeping me present. It was very much about how the computer and dreamviews works with my mind to keep me present and prevent me from dreaming and instead being lucid. I was very happy about this and felt including and understood. So instead of just dreaming in a non lucid way I was present.

Dream Three: In the third dream (7hrs into my sleep) all the dreamviews people were there and we were all comparing our dreams. There was an atmosphere of togetherness. There was joy and lots of colour. We were all sharing our techniuques for dreaming which were slightly different but we were all learning from each other. People were very happy with what I had learnt in dream 1 and 2 but I was not sure 100% about exactly what was happening.

Woke up afte 7 and half hours sleep confused as to why the dreams lacked vividness but had lucidity. I guess I never realised I was dreaming.

Vegetarianism

I was hanging out with my friend who has kindof dumped my recently IWL partly because he is going through some serious stuff with his own family and he is having a change of lifestyle. I am kindof happy this is happening because his attitude is different from mine. He likes fast cars, alcohol, cigars and women whereas I do admit I like all those things too but would rather not go there. So he was there and I think this hightened my awareness in the dream because he was running after wasps hitting them and then squeezing them but they would not die properly and were flying over to me to sting me. I was trying not to get angry even thoough the situation was crazy. I started telling him that if we are nice to beings in the world we can make a big difference but he just continued on. The next thing the same story just magnified into a full on War. I was protecting a group of people while a chopper landed in front of us. A load of men came out with full armour and some kind of machine gun I had never seen before. They captured the people and I managed to get away. They were not looking for me they were looking for the indigenous people to wipe out the spiritual culture and bring on the industrialisation. It was an Avatar type thing. I was suprised at how brave I was and not a bit scared. This makes me think that I must have had some level of lucidity but not recognised it was a dream. This is still taking things a little too seriously and fighting for a cause. I have a sense still that there is something to change and not fully in the dream. I then ran up a number of floors in an office block to let them know and try and find someone official. Of course this is a classic dream sign of running around in circles and not becoming lucid.