DarkestDarkness

Last catch up entry for today I think.

23rd June 2020

Fragment:

Remember seeing Discord. I had been removed from the Nx server, as it was no longer on the list. My friends looked shorter too. I soon realised A wasn't on the list anymore and I presumed I'd been removed from their friends list. I checked my Steam friends list and saw the same again.

In the dream I remember thinking this was unsurprising, but all the same, disappointing. It made me feel as though I'd been used, and made irrelevant past a certain point.

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Notes:
- This part of whatever dream it was from surely came about as part of my emotional processing of a few things, but primarily from a wariness so as to not let myself be lied to or used.
- In the dream I think there was some subtext of libel against me.

22nd June 2020

Dream:

Me and H were walking along a narrow countryside road, surrounded by hedges. At one point, instead of hedges there's a house. It looks moderate in size. The dream immediately establishes somehow that it was the house of our waking life neighbours, the old couple.

I just want to go past the house though, and continue on our journey. It's a humid but fresh morning and the light looks beautiful, I have a vague memory of the sun still being fairly low but high enough that it's quite bright.

H becomes distracted by the house, at first staring at some of the sandstone that makes up the house walls. Then looking in through the windows. This makes me feel uneasy. Through the first window, which looks to be tinted in some way, I see a Pioneer turntable, a silver one. We walk a few paces forward at last, but then H stops again. I turn around and I see a big cabinet style turntable station. It's sitting outside the house, directly against the wall but in the dream it still seems like it's inside the house too somehow.

It's mostly a silver Pioneer unit again. I manage to read a model number. LP-PL13. I point it out to H and he seems uninterested. We keep walking? But then we get inside the house somehow and it looks like a mix of what I know our neighbour's house to actually be like inside plus our own current home and my old home. I soon begin to wonder how their house could look so much bigger on the inside, seeing as they should be terraced houses, not realising the terrible irony that the house had initially presented itself as a detached home in the countryside.

We go through a few rooms, both wondering if the old couple is home. Their home is beautifully organised and in this version presents itself with a lot of Hi-Fi equipment. At one point I remark they seem to like Pioneer's stuff as much as H. There was mostly silver "era" stuff.

Eventually we end up in what I can only call a storage corridor. It would be dark if it weren't for two cold but bright fluorescent tubes. The corridor feels narrow only because there are metal storage shelving units to either side and they're full of stuff, mostly electronics.

I make note of a few older CRT television sets. One is a Mitsubishi and it's medium in size. Then as we continue along I remark on some of the stuff but I can't remember what I said or what H replied.

At the end of the corridor it forks, on the left is the master room for the old couple. I didn't look to see what was to the right.

At some point before this, I remember the neighbour sees us from a room? And tentatively says hello and we reply with a short hi ourselves. Now, his wife is laying in bed but looks at us too. Her husband appears I think and they ask something of us? They want us to read over some document they've written.

We are now in a living room like the one at my old home but with different decor. We sit at the dining table which has the document on it. It's only some three pages long but double sided. There's only one copy. H reads a bit of it first, then I read some of it. It's some kind of invitation for something, an event? for a club. It starts out with a page-long poem or some such. Something about Napoleon and war comes up. The text seemed consistent in the dream but I can't help but wonder if turning over the pages was making it change.

I wake up shortly after this.

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Notes:
- The house felt immense inside, although the ceiling height was probably much lower than it actually would have been if it was actually ours or our neighbours' home.
- The house felt like a well imagined mix of our home and theirs, as ours is quite disorganised but does have a lot of electronics about, and theirs is very well organised and also uncluttered, really.
- It's interesting that I make note of the makes of things a lot more often now, even in dreams. I don't seem to recall doing that so much even just a few years ago and I'd say that living with H has been a good part of this change.
- I remember the natural light inside the house was more like my old home. Lots of dark/bright contrasts.

21st June 2020

Fragment:

My phone needed charging and I was at home with H. I went to get a charger for my phone and plugged it in; there was arcing/sparking and a flash.

I opened the back of the phone and took the cable off it and saw that the battery had bulged slightly in one place. And the cable specs said it provided 2.9v rather than what it supposedly needed, 5v.

Fragment:

Some bit around my home town. I'm in the car, with mom and dad. Mom complains about being nearly 11:30 even though the dash says 10:30. Mom was complaining because we had to be there (at the destination?) and my siblings weren't ready or in the car with us yet.

Dad took us to some cafe, or restaurant? Near where the pools in my old home town are.

Fragment:

In the kitchen at our current home. I was going to take codeine, but it had been prescribed for something other than pain, like allergies?

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Notes:
- The part in the car with mom and dad is a typical scenario that might happen when we all still lived together, when I was a kid/teen.
- At the time I'm making these notes (10th of August), I am on medication that means that I can't take codeine too; this would probably be a good cue for RCing since I know it would be dangerous to actually take the codeine currently.