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    ccxcv. Creating a quest, working on a comic

    by , 07-04-2021 at 09:44 PM (56 Views)
    2nd July 2021

    Fragment:

    In Outland. Some alternate version of Helfire I've dreamed of before, years ago I think. It's a mix of Netherstorm in terms of landscape features but looks like Helfire. Something about me trying to get to level seventy but I find out that eighty is actually the maximum level, through seeing other players I think.

    There's a back-and-forth mix of D3 and WoW. I'm both trying to create a level twenty or so questline involving dragons, for the zone I'm in, I think; but also trying to work on an art project about an erotica comic in a M/M theme.

    (recall started fading at this point) At one point, I'm working on this comic project and alt-tabbing between games and drawings for reference and then H comes in to this odd office room I'm in and starts talking to me. The room is very wooden? A dark-ish stain, probably? H is kind of having a go at me for "not doing much". I feel annoyed and partly insulted, since I try as much as I can. Constant interruptions occur (not just or only from H but something else) while I'm trying to work on this questline thing.

    The dream eventually deviates into some other bit in a town.

    (recall gap)

    I'm in a subway starting at my home town and I'm sort of composing a train run schedule that will go from a yellow line to the blue line? Stations seem dark and unfamiliar, not to mention cramped, they seem more like my vague memory of the London underground and some other generic subways I've seen.

    I'm alone in this train with the conductor, I'm just in the passenger area at first looking at the maps. Then I knock on the door to the cabin or something and I tell him about what I'll be doing. I can see through the front glass that we are arriving at a station full of people, mostly university students or something, people in school uniforms. I tell the conductor that we can't stop here for now because "that's too many gamers" and that I'll add this station later on into the schedule.

    And I think about how they'd probably end up giving this new route I'm making a very bad reputation and causes issues later on. So I think to myself that they'll just have to catch a different train for now.



    Notes:
    - Feels like it's been a while since a proper subway dream, though I suppose I have had a few not that long ago, that come to mind.
    -- As always this should be enough of a cue to question reality, but it never seems to be enough, nothing seems to be enough.

    - Again, dragons. Dragons are rarely the central topic in my dreams. This time they weren't the focus of eroticism but seems there was still a loose link since I was working on both their questline and the erotic comic.
    -- This thematic could relate both to my difficulty in sticking to a single project and to the fact that I always want to do really involved things. Doing either a comic or a full questline are projects that require a lot of time and attention. Relating to the difficulty in sticking to a project, I often lose track of myself and my attention to things when things start feeling long.

    - Unusually, the train was symbolically under my control though indirect influence of its compliant conductor, maybe a metaphor about navigation, guidance or inability to lead action directly.
    -- Relating to this, I have found that I am much calmer and more able to work effectively if I'm not directly in charge of something. If I am in advisory or assisting role, I tend to be able to remain emotionally detached for better results. Thinking further about this, ironically this is not the case when it comes to doing artwork for others, since that's still primarily based on my own ability to lead artistically (since I'm not being asked to emulate another artists' style).

    - When in the dream H has a go at me, I think this is actually a metaphor for me having a go at myself. I do sometimes think I'm not trying as hard as I could be. I often think about how it feels like I'm not leading myself anywhere but also about how it feels so hard without anyone guiding me.
    -- The irony to me feels like even under guidance I still feel like I'm not getting guidance, which makes me feel like it's a problem relating to myself only and not to others and their interactions with me.
    Occipitalred likes this.

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