• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    1. cccvi.

      by , Today at 07:49 PM
      21st July 2021

      Fragment:

      Something about server farms at a campus of some sort. I need to do a user login on to the servers, for some reason. I'm in a library-like place but it's mostly computers or empty desks but there are some tall bookshelf things? There's a few other people around. I'm with someone, who's waiting on me right now. Something about a video?

      (recall gap)

      Then I'm walking around, something about interactions with a group? Some people in this group are furries and others are wizards or something. I think there's some discussion or theme about raptors or other kinds of dinossaurs. I feel I don't quite belong to either category and want to make my own, which takes me to some kind of physical modding area (I think I meant this like an area to do game-modding, but not sure. Most of this segment doesn't quite make sense from the little I could recall.)

      (recall gap)

      In the car with H. Something about getting a take out meal. Although I make several suggestions and think of the suggested places in the dream, the general dream location is not one I know from waking life, though I don't realise this. I suggest KFC or somewhere where we might be able to get sausage and chips, but again don't directly think of it that way during the dream.

      We end up actually going to a Subway shop. It's in the middle of some kind of industrial estate down a small hill. There's a queue and the place is a bit like an open, outdoor, storage yard. There's a bit by a wall to my right, next to the main entrance to the yard, which is where the actual shop bit is, under a rolled out cover. While in the queue, I notice there's a big billboard, more or less directly in front of me and mostly centred on that wall. On it, the billboard says "Open from 8AM to 1:45PM".

      For some reason, I realise it's about six in the afternoon and don't understand why the person is still here serving customers. I then realise that they're not cooking up anything new and just selling off whatever was ready and made. When it's my turn at the queue, I seem to have forgotten the name of what we'd usually get so I say something vague (forget what) and I'm given two grilled cheese toasties. When I return to H, he seems OK with them, but I feel a bit disappointed, I think because of my forgetting and because of not getting whatever it was we'd normally want.

      (I woke up a bit disorientated)



      Notes:

      - I swear I had made a note on my original writing of this dream, regarding a symbolic aspect about the Subway segment, but I don't seem to actually have done so. I must just be recalling having an intent in doing so. Will make an edit regarding that and adding tags to the entry, when I have a bit more time to do so.

      - When I noted the actual time versus the opening times, I had originally felt something along the lines of it not making sense, because "why would the person still be there, serving"? The problem in terms of logic-follow-up was that I concluded a seemingly reasonable excuse (they're selling off the excess food before closing) instead of realising that this would not be reasonable for the worker. My dream mind might still have concluded "oh they're getting paid overtime", but thinking further on it, this still shouldn't be a reasonable excuse because there's a very specific set of opening times for the shop, as even was pointed out in the billboard.
    2. ccciii. Train escort duty

      by , 07-15-2021 at 06:43 PM
      15th July 2021

      Fragment:


      (recall going from later to earliest bit)

      I'm walking with a group of people, one of them is JC from school. He's older, but otherwise looks how he used to, mostly. We're escorting a mech, a train of sorts which is depositing rails in front of itself as it goes? I've just been paid for half of my service on our current mission. I was given two glittering golden rocks (the "gold" doesn't quite look like actual gold but in the dream I don't become aware of this). One of them is not covered in this glittering gold.

      The one that is completely covered in glittery gold, I hold in my right hand and crush as we walk. I see on the top right of my vision an interface element that displays that I was credited with 40 million credits. JC tells me the company actually recommends against doing this, especially without having finished the mission yet. I tell him "I don't care, my inventory is too full" and I think about how the group doesn't seem keen on waiting for me to sort this out, as evidenced by the fact that we're on the move.

      (just before this)

      I'm with JC wrapped in a sort of throw, it's grey and white. (I think like one I have at home in waking life) There's a very serious Covid context, though I'm not worried about it. R, also from school around the same time as JC, is not too far from us, she's some sort of inventory or cataloguing person? She's wearing a labcoat, which when I first see her makes me do a RC by counting the fingers on my right hand, though my RC fails to pass, for one thing because the count was correct and for another because I didn't question it further because of the social situation.

      Me and JC are a distance away just sitting here basically. R tells us that we have to wait for this shipment of cloth or something. I think I check the order details myself, either on an interface element or some nearby physical interface. Unfortunately, we still reach the conclusion that this is the best option. I was considering trying to change the order to something else that would still be suitable but delivered quicker. Any other option is noted to have an even longer lead time on production.

      R chit chats, saying she's surprised that "you two idiots are still around", as if she expected to never see us again in life. I tell her in jest "dad always says there are always idiots around; I guess that happens to be here" or something to this effect. She's amused in some way but still thinks the same of us, I don't find myself thinking about it much further one way or another. Me and JC sort of become melded with each other as we're sat here, waiting in the bundled throw. R is very strict about viral control, but I don't recall in what way. She partly looks like an Asian woman in her thirties more so than herself really (probably a dream attempt at making her appear a more chronologically correct age).

      Then there's a drone of some kind. It's scanning the local area and I ask R about it, "is it a geological survey drone?" but she doesn't reply, not ignoring me, but as if I never said anything. I get up and follow the drone around for a bit, the view swaps from first to third person and back again a few times. I follow it to a site not too far, a beach of some kind and it goes into a receptacle that changes shape mechanically, as it receives the drone. Then, from the sea a train sort of surfaces from the water, it all looks very Japanese "Mecha" style. (This is where the first bit of recall started)

      (there was more recall from earlier parts but they faded and other details were lost, it was a long dream)



      Notes:


      - This is the most recent time I've actually done a reality check whilst dreaming, which goes beyond just thinking about it, but because of the social context at hand I became distracted far too easily from really questioning reality. Even so, with the previous DJ entry, that's two times recently compared to not very often, if at all, in the last months.
      -- I am realising now that this may be an issue with my artificial dream sign, by its nature it's more likely to include a distracting social context. I should think further on this. In addition to that, I think it's ironic on some level I decided to do a hand RC when it isn't necessarily my preferred way of checking anymore. If I could go back into this dream and change my approach, I would instead have stopped and thought about what I was doing and where I was; after all, how could I be meeting people I knew years ago but haven't seen since, for no reason at all? Not just one of them, but two of them at the same time, along with other suspicious dream qualities.

      - The dream had a bit of a feel of MHW and Dark Souls there at the end.

      - There was something "desaturated" about all of the dream's location. Like there was a faintly yellow mist and there was no sky to speak of exactly, just this mist. No memory of shadows really, defined or undefined.
    3. cccii. Ice asteroid field, Strange ravine in Minecraft

      by , 07-15-2021 at 06:17 PM
      13th July 2021

      Fragment:

      In space, Freelancer setting. I'm in a beautiful looking system, but fairly simple and generic. One white star? An ice asteroid field in the distance which I think I'm approaching. I'm with someone else, who's in a different ship, maybe T? Or an NPC like Juni. We're sneaking or getting away from something and we're taking unmapped/unknown travel routes, the type pirates and bounty hunters and freelancers use. This dream might have been from when my alarm went off, I don't remember resetting it.

      Fragment:

      Some interactions with other people. There's a context of survival and maybe one of servitude too (slavery? maybe not though). Most of this dream takes place in an indoors setting and it's daytime outside. There's an overcast characteristic to lighting. I recall some bit where I'm helping someone, they pass me a long-ish cardboard box which doesn't look so strong. As I take hold of it, it's bottom half sort of drops off from the upper lid section. A glass or metal thing drops out, it sounds like glass smashing.

      It's an electron valve or something? But I don't remember looking. The person that was passing me the box, a lady, gets upset with me, but we quickly get over it and we do something else.

      (recall gap?)

      Now I'm on Minecraft. I've just spawned in a new world. It's an unusual ravine locale. I am near and sort of under a 5x5 pillar and then I look around and up. The pillar goes up, a hundred or so blocks, as do other similar ones in the ravine area. Over this pillar is a railroad track laid on top of oak planks going from one side of the chasm to the other.

      The natural stone pillar has decorative stone bricks at the corners in a semi-random fashion and the other pillars are similar. The chasm or ravine is longer than it is wide but seems to mostly be rectangular. I don't recall noticing any ore at all. For some reason, I just fly up and look around. On the rail track, minecarts are going around. They have loot chests on them and I quickly inspect contents as they go past. They seem reasonably OK.

      I think there's another track that runs carts in the opposite direction, just nearby. To either end of the chasm, in terms of longitude, there are these sort of old West mineshaft entrances, which half look like a barn or house. They are built into the natural rock walls. My dream knowledge of the area makes it feel like a classic DOOM map, like actually behind the stone walls there's nothing, as if they are just set dressing.

      I go into one of these mine entrances and it has more loot chests which I inspect. I hear zombies nearby, but ignore them. Then I feel like I hear our doorbell but I start going into a dark stairwell made with oak plank stair blocks. On some level I start to question the reality of this and wake up and ask H if the doorbell had really rang, but no.



      Notes:

      - The Freelancer dream was nice even if a lot of recall went. I always enjoy those dreams because of the way space always looks more realistic than the game did but it still looks more fantastic than space would actually look like anyway. The system was a bit like some Sigma or Tau systems but "felt" closer to core systems.
      -- The dream plot was a generic story/campaign plot, as far as I can recall. I don't recall what my ship was like.

      - I think I haven't had lucid thoughts very much until that dream where the doorbell noise manifested. Notably, the dream entry that follows for the 15th also had a lucidity cue.

      - I would like to think about the symbolism of situation surrounding the smashing object in the second fragment but a bit too tired to think about it, hopefully come back to it at some point.
    4. ccci. Meeting at a church, Visiting an in-dream dream location, Living in a mall

      by , 07-11-2021 at 07:03 PM
      11th July 2021

      ~7:30
      Fragment:

      Transitioning from the TBC era to WLK era. T is there as his paladin at one point. There's something very Roman-esque about the setting? We need to complete some gold-payment quest to continue on into the city. There's a group of randoms with us, part of our party.

      Fragment:

      In a place like L, by the pier area I think. There's a lot of commotion because of an upcoming football match. It's dark-ish, twilight-like, orange and purple hues in the sky? I want to take the subway to go somewhere, but first I got into this church. Many people are leaving an on-going service in the church but many still remain.

      Aunt G enters the church, I notice her and approach, getting her attention. She eventually recognises me and I tell her we should go somewhere together (to make up for lost time?) because I realise this place is actually quite crowded. I don't entirely feel safe, I think. Someone, an older lady but not as old as my aunt, she's putting up cordons and tells us we can't go in a certain area of the church. She had white hair, maybe tied back.

      The church is artificially lit, quite a warm light which contrasts with the twilight. Originally I wanted to move towards one of the areas that was cordoned off. We end up leaving the church and heading down a nearby subway entrance.

      (recall gap)

      We are next to a guy who's a pipe maker. I tell my aunt how many churches just can't afford new pipes, even though they'd benefit from them. The pipe maker gives us a statistic; only about five-hundred thousand out of one and a half million can afford such things. I realise and remark that it's only a third. I also remark that the distribution is going to be geographically unfair or disproportionate, too.

      (after writing these two, I got up and had thoughts about WBTB as I got back in bed)


      ~10:00
      Fragment:

      Visiting a church with H. In the dream, I had a dream where I'd visited this church and it was sort of empty. So, when we're there together, I already know the layout. During the dream, this made me vaguely think of "vision quest" dreaming and that sort of thing (no doubt related to reading Dreamgates before bed). The church has an odd layout, the rooms are laid in an inwards spiralling fashion. One of the back rooms we go through is tiled and looks a bit industrial.

      It has four big cylindrical tanks, all white. They're about twice and a half our height. I understand them to be part of some boiler system. A man, possibly the warden, is showing us around the church, some kind of introduction.

      Before this, me and H are outside. We just got out of the van. It's dark? I don't remember the grounds too well but there are tall trees and low dry-stone walls. H shows me something about a painting, which resides out here, on the external church walls. The painting is very big, mostly vertical. It's about one yard wide by four yards tall.

      The painting itself is kind of sepia in tones. It has a sketch-like look. At first I just see some eyes at the top, like part of an incomplete portrait, but as I move it around (because I'm moving it to hang it on another wall), the image changes. On some level, this makes me think of those "holo" images.

      Fragment:


      At a mall place with H. We live in a flat inside the mall, accessible via an escalator through a store, it's either a clothing or jewellery store. Some people I know from school are here, there's some interaction. Rest of recall is gone.



      Notes:
      - We went today somewhere that took us the same road that we can take when we went to see a pipe maker. This was recently, so I wonder if that dream theme was influenced by this.

      - The TBC->WLK dream theme probably came from a nostalgia of the actual WLK period and from having some interest in its classic revival. On the other hand, I have little or no interest in paying to play the game, especially since there's very little social motivation for me to do so. The last time I went on, the atmosphere was more "toxic" than I recalled, something I found hugely disappointed, making me feel like some people just never grow up. Perhaps when I played many years ago, I was just that much younger that I didn't think much of it/just ignored it or maybe it wasn't that far removed from daily life, but now it would just bother me.
      -- I still find WoW dream themes to be fairly enjoyable, since they do tend to focus on the sense of adventure, combat or exploration, which were feelings that were much more present in me when I was younger. I haven't felt a genuine sense of wonder about anything at all for many years.

      - In the area where I used to live, the mall has flats over it. Although the mall in the dream had a more "airport-shops" feel to it, the rest of the associations seemed fairly close to memory of home.
    5. ccxcvii. Invitation, Unusual BFG

      by , 07-05-2021 at 02:48 PM
      5th July 2021

      Fragment:

      I'm looking at my profile on one of the art sites? I notice I have an unread PM and click to check it. It's from a site moderator I think and I check to see if it really is one, by looking for a certain symbol or something? The message reads at first something like "Dear user, as it is so rare to come across individuals like yourself", going on for a short bit and then asking further down if I'd like to become a moderator, myself.

      There's still some kind of special application process and scrolling through the, actually somewhat long, message, I see some red hyperlink buttons with white text. They have something to do with answering some questions for the application. At the start of these is also a green one and I perceive green as bad? The green one is for saying that you're not interested in this or something.

      I think about this and consider the responsibilities, the kind of things I might have to deal with, potentially unpleasant. And also the fact that it's not a paid role or position, it's voluntary even with the application and so on. Despite all this I still consider applying. Rest of recall faded.

      Fragment:

      In a game world of some kind, with H. It feels like DOOM, Quake or UT. The zone feels a bit void of anything at all, very empty. There's an orange-purple atmospheric effect? The only things that seem to exist around here are some kind of simple and white geometric structures that we walk across. I do some jumping tricks and get up on top of what is supposed to be like a small building. There's a "BFG 9000" here on the flat rooftop, it's a secret pick-up. This BFG has a unique design and is really quite big, as I pick it up I visually note that H gets it too.

      The weapon's design is chunky at the start, then it becomes tri-pronged kind of and extends almost two yards in front. These bits sticking out are like electro-magnetic rails and they are a silvery metal but with a light blue electric glow. The rest of the design is primarily green, the green tone I associate with DOOM.

      Anyway, then a boss or elite enemy appears or something. I consider whether or not we should use our new BFGs on it and end up deciding not and that we should just use regular rocket launchers to fight it. I think about the fact that the BFG has very limited ammo and sooner or later we'll end up firing at the same time anyway in combat situations, effectively wasting shots.



      Notes:

      - On waking and trying to draw the weapon in its most basic form I realised I couldn't imagine what the grip for it could be like. I then realised I've never really paid attention to this detail on BFG designs.

      - The first dream may relate to how I have sometimes done things freely for others because I felt that it was important enough to do as a voluntary thing. The issue has often been for me that I have not been either rewarded nor recognised for it and not even getting some recognition for helping makes it feel like I've been used for my eagerness, ultimately making me feel naive and cynical about such things.
    6. ccxcvi. Helping others and fighting alone or against odds

      by , 07-04-2021 at 10:03 PM
      3rd July 2021

      Fragment:

      (long dreams, recall was good at first, but didn't make enough of an effort to start noting them down)

      Some kind of RPG shooter, maybe a mix of Borderlands and something else, in which I'm helping two other people with a boss. I change to the highest difficulty and also to my best character, on the fly. I become aware that the gear drops will now possibly come with requirements the other players I'm helping won't be able to meet, but I consider that it really shouldn't matter in the long run and should actually be beneficial. It's a small and kind of dark room, can't remember much else about the location.

      (recall faded too much) I'm in a dropship of some kind and I'm next to a tank-like vehicle. We're dropping into a small combat zone, feels like some kind of last-effort push kind of thing? The tank feels like the DRG 'dozer in terms of shape, but bigger, wider. More like a SC Fatboy, but smaller in overall scale.

      Some bit later in a sea rig, also with the dropship or the tank, some family there too?



      4th July 2021

      Fragment:

      Some bit about WoW. At first I'm playing a warrior and I have a huge two-handed weapon, looks very much like Sul'Thraze, but although my character isn't one, the attack animations are that of a troll character.

      It's an unfamiliar and novel area, completely original to the dream as far as I can recall. There's some bit later on, taking place on a small natural incline, grassy and a bit rocky. The colours are all very muted and towards purple hues all the way throughout, there are a few stone ruins. At this last point I'm playing an underleveled warlock and trying to help in a high level group fight.



      Notes:
      - Before bed on the first night, I read the Dreamgates parts in the centre of the book about creativity and read the exercise there again too also while in bed.
      -- I have really enjoyed this part so far and it has been motivating to read and re-read it, especially since I feel I've been accomplishing so little lately.

      - The WoW dream was mostly residue of actual feelings while playing the game, but the troll thing felt a bit different, perhaps because WoW trolls have this tribal aspect associated to them and because of Dreamgates making me think about Shaman-related things

      - Not sure if I've ever had a dream take place in a sea rig before, but possibly.
    7. ccxcv. Creating a quest, working on a comic

      by , 07-04-2021 at 09:44 PM
      2nd July 2021

      Fragment:

      In Outland. Some alternate version of Helfire I've dreamed of before, years ago I think. It's a mix of Netherstorm in terms of landscape features but looks like Helfire. Something about me trying to get to level seventy but I find out that eighty is actually the maximum level, through seeing other players I think.

      There's a back-and-forth mix of D3 and WoW. I'm both trying to create a level twenty or so questline involving dragons, for the zone I'm in, I think; but also trying to work on an art project about an erotica comic in a M/M theme.

      (recall started fading at this point) At one point, I'm working on this comic project and alt-tabbing between games and drawings for reference and then H comes in to this odd office room I'm in and starts talking to me. The room is very wooden? A dark-ish stain, probably? H is kind of having a go at me for "not doing much". I feel annoyed and partly insulted, since I try as much as I can. Constant interruptions occur (not just or only from H but something else) while I'm trying to work on this questline thing.

      The dream eventually deviates into some other bit in a town.

      (recall gap)

      I'm in a subway starting at my home town and I'm sort of composing a train run schedule that will go from a yellow line to the blue line? Stations seem dark and unfamiliar, not to mention cramped, they seem more like my vague memory of the London underground and some other generic subways I've seen.

      I'm alone in this train with the conductor, I'm just in the passenger area at first looking at the maps. Then I knock on the door to the cabin or something and I tell him about what I'll be doing. I can see through the front glass that we are arriving at a station full of people, mostly university students or something, people in school uniforms. I tell the conductor that we can't stop here for now because "that's too many gamers" and that I'll add this station later on into the schedule.

      And I think about how they'd probably end up giving this new route I'm making a very bad reputation and causes issues later on. So I think to myself that they'll just have to catch a different train for now.



      Notes:
      - Feels like it's been a while since a proper subway dream, though I suppose I have had a few not that long ago, that come to mind.
      -- As always this should be enough of a cue to question reality, but it never seems to be enough, nothing seems to be enough.

      - Again, dragons. Dragons are rarely the central topic in my dreams. This time they weren't the focus of eroticism but seems there was still a loose link since I was working on both their questline and the erotic comic.
      -- This thematic could relate both to my difficulty in sticking to a single project and to the fact that I always want to do really involved things. Doing either a comic or a full questline are projects that require a lot of time and attention. Relating to the difficulty in sticking to a project, I often lose track of myself and my attention to things when things start feeling long.

      - Unusually, the train was symbolically under my control though indirect influence of its compliant conductor, maybe a metaphor about navigation, guidance or inability to lead action directly.
      -- Relating to this, I have found that I am much calmer and more able to work effectively if I'm not directly in charge of something. If I am in advisory or assisting role, I tend to be able to remain emotionally detached for better results. Thinking further about this, ironically this is not the case when it comes to doing artwork for others, since that's still primarily based on my own ability to lead artistically (since I'm not being asked to emulate another artists' style).

      - When in the dream H has a go at me, I think this is actually a metaphor for me having a go at myself. I do sometimes think I'm not trying as hard as I could be. I often think about how it feels like I'm not leading myself anywhere but also about how it feels so hard without anyone guiding me.
      -- The irony to me feels like even under guidance I still feel like I'm not getting guidance, which makes me feel like it's a problem relating to myself only and not to others and their interactions with me.
    8. ccxciv. Weird bicycle and family conversations

      by , 06-30-2021 at 06:42 PM
      30th June 2021

      Woken up by postman. Some in-line notes.

      Fragment:


      (going from end to start, kind of) I am with mom, she's taking me on a ride, on some kind of bicycle but it's really long, like ten yards long or something. She's asking me what I think of an alien race on a film that (in the dream) I had apparently watched. I am not too interested in the topic and feel that she is being oddly too insistent about it. (wake up at about this point)

      The whole time, I don't have a good hold of the bike thing and am concerned I might fall off but I persist in trying to stay on. (realistically I could have walked just as fast or faster) The rear end I'm at comes off from the seat area in the front, it looks a bit like one of those streamline cars' side skirts, sort of half-sectioned or something, difficult to explain. I'm holding on to it in a hunched and semi-crouched position. I have my regular clothes on as far as I can tell, wearing my normal boots. My boots make it feel very difficult to keep my feet inside the gap in the panelling.

      I have passing thoughts about how mom is being able to pedal this thing with me on it too and where I'm at a leverage point that should make climbing this bit quite difficult. We're climbing up on the small hill that leads to the newer roundabout, which used to be the P exit. We're on the cobbled pavement.

      A bit earlier, me, T and mom are walking in A, at the roundabout before the other we eventually ride up to. It's morning, sort of sunny but not. The surroundings seem different to how they should be in waking life but I'm not certain in what way. We get to a car and T unlocks it. He gets in and starts the car, it's some old car, maybe like a Mini or an older VW or something. We say something and then me and mom walk across to a pavement on the right, where those small houses should be.

      Soon I become aware of the car's engine being turned back off again, though I don't look. I think something to myself about it, but can't recall what. At this point I'm talking to mom about teachers and smoking. (probably intrusions from recent thoughts on both as concepts) She says you can't really get away from it (smoking) completely in that environment. We talk about teachers' pay and how it varies a lot and isn't quite adequate. Then when we are across and have walked along for a bit, that's where the weird bike thing is and when we get on it.

      Scraps:

      Some earlier dream sequence but recall slipped too much. Something like a game with T. We have guns and are expecting a massive encounter against NPCs or something inside a large building, but then nothing happens. There are flood lights and there's a cold ambience, despite the lights seeming warm in terms of glare. Some teens appeared and I think we hid or something, waiting to hear what they might say.



      Notes:

      - In bed, and before bed, I thought about lucid dreaming for a while and thought about wanting to do something with art or drawing while lucid.
      -- Also had thoughts based on the Dreamgates book reading, about how I have never felt completely comfortable with any name (even ones I've made for myself) and so I wondered what kind of names dream characters might give me.

      - Last night I started feeling really dizzy and just "slow" after midnight, not sure why. Wasn't able to do anything other than lie down and read a small bit.

      - Mom's appearance in this dream is no doubt related to her recent episode. On some level, any family appearance really ought to be enough for me to question reality, but it never is. She was half normal, half not, as hinted by the feeling I got off odd insistence, a behaviour I've only seen a bit of but am familiar with.
    9. ccxcii. Underwater fights, Triangular package, Quiet beach

      by , 06-29-2021 at 03:28 PM
      Some in-line notes in brackets.

      27th June 2021

      Scraps:

      Unrecorded. Something about being underwater and there's a giant ghostly crab and an equal sized ghostly shark or something. There are underwater buildings, regular city buildings, but inside they are mostly empty? After this dream, I remember thinking about how "being in water, is to fly" or something of the sort making a comparison of the two states. (I have no special interest in dream flight that doesn't use some kind of device or body part to accomplish it, though I do like swimming quite a lot.)

      (This dream had a general nature of conflict or dispute and seemed to take place in an original location)



      28th June 2021

      (recall not written down on waking but later on this day)

      Fragment:

      At home. A courier is putting something through the letterbox. I approach and he's actually putting his hand through the letterbox now and trying to pull the triangular package back towards him through the opening. (The package was bigger than the opening but it looked stiff, not bendable)

      The letterbox is lower down than it should be and the door seems to be see-through actually. As I come to open the door, first opening the foyer door I think, I find that the front door is simply not there anymore. I or the courier grab the package and I ask if he has to take it back because of it being batteries or something. (possibly intrusion from looking at batteries online, the night before?) He gives me some explanation accordingly but then decides to leave it with me after all.

      Fragment:

      There was more before this but no recall. Arriving at a sea-side area, possibly by car. I'm with someone, H? There's a sandy beach where I expected loads of people would be and when I see it's mostly empty, the other person tells me "see, I told you so" or something. The beach is between a six or so story tall fortification on the left, typical sea-side fort look to it, at least for the style I'm used to. On the right, the road slopes up at slow incline and there's some other building on the side of the beach.

      I end up going into that building? No recall of the inside anymore. Something about two muscular women (like Klingons but not?) and I don't get along with them for some reason. I leave this building by a door on the beach level, like a back or access door. The beach isn't quite there anymore, like there's more water now. It's sunny through the entire dream segment.

      (Shadow positioning suggests that the sea is West, the fort South, the second building North and the road I came from (but never looked toward) is East)
    10. ccxci. Exploring a haunted castle

      by , 06-26-2021 at 04:46 PM
      25th June 2021

      Unknown fragment at 8:30 but went back to sleep with dreaming intent around lucidity.

      Fragment (10:00):

      In a long rectangular building, it's like BL. There are lots of players here, including J and others I don't recognise. I feel he is ignoring me. Nearby someone is doing their "jackhammer" mining and someone in here is commenting on how it's a good thing there's no combat log to get spammed. J comments in a light-hearted way that AH's mining would have been worse. I see a fake-gold plaque mentioning her and some others?

      (recall gap)

      We're on a highway or something. At first in vehicles, I think? Then on foot or mounts, as we come off at a junction that leads into wilderness and dirt paths. It is evening/dusk, I think, just before sunset. The landscape feels like the Southern regions of my native country. We keep going along this path until I realise it's the wrong way and that we should have already turned off to the left for the castle we are supposed to get to. I'm a paladin and remember seeing myself in third-person on my mount for a while. I am the only paladin in the group.

      I use crusader aura and look at the minimap to help the people at the rear of the group so they benefit from it. One person in our group is Hillary Clinton? I think we address her as madam president. The castle reminds me now of Karazhan but it didn't during the dream.

      We go through several rooms. They are dark and seem to follow a normal house layout. Something about ghosts. Trying to help them by filling a sink with bleach, cleaning it while wearing some gloves; detritus is keeping the ghosts trapped here somehow. But this doesn't work and the ghosts complain of suffocating. I ask someone to open a window (double glazed, swings out on the top half from the middle) and we move on I think. Crossing some rooms sometimes leads into a loading screen of some sort. (Recall faded too much and detail was lost.)

      Earlier, or later, kind of with the same group, I'm looking through some old stashes of food. Mostly tinned or jarred stuff, but maybe some fresh things too. Under a man-made waterfall spout, in some kind of old metal receptacle (oxidised bronze?), there's jam in a jar and something like yogurts in plastic pots. Someone tells me not to bother taking anything, that it's all ancient. But I see on the jam there's a marking on the top indicating it has an expiry date of "28/2" or something which I infer to mean 2028 and so I take it.



      Notes:

      - There was a feel of Scholomance to the inner depths of the castle.
      -- The dark ambience was generally blue-ish.

      - The dried up man-made waterfall area was cliffy but was sort of in-doors, I feel. The rocks were mostly tones of grey, possibly with moss or lichen.

      - Not sure what brought about Hillary Clinton as a dream character. I am reminded while writing this that I was recently thinking about MoonageDaydream's name but unable to remember it at that time, realising that maybe it's Hillary, at least I seem to remember reading that in one of her dreams before.
      -- I haven't really been trying to think about any DV members specifically of late, but I do still check DV often especially before bed.
    11. cclxxxix. Outland mining, moody friend, desert island and space dock

      by , 06-24-2021 at 08:24 PM
      24th June 2021

      Some in-line notes, some side notes.

      Dream (fragmented):

      Playing as a level seventy human warrior, protection spec by the looks of the gear.

      I'm in some kind of life-like place with rooms, but on a flying mount and mining ores. There are Legion enemies around as well as general Legion stuff. I think about how something looks wrong, not as how I remember it (according to a dreaming false memory).

      (recall gap)

      I'm flying around Helfire doing ore mining, mostly getting Fel Iron but some Khorium and other novel gem ores, coloured after the type of gem they're supposed to be. Oddly, I can't mine Adamantite at all. I manage to avoid fights with horde players by flying to ore locations in a random pattern, helped by having the fastest mount, some kind of gladiator's nether drake by the looks of it, not too different from whatever I was using before.

      I go to parts of Helfire that don't actually exist. One such place is a floating rock isle, high above and to the south east of the peninsula. There are some unremarkable chests here, they give me a few silver coins, something like twenty to fourty as well as random crappy items. They feel worth getting since nobody else is after them and this area seems to have little interest. Some people, ghosts, come out of some ruins on the south part of the island, some two/three hundred yards away. I forget who the ghosts are or what they say, but it's a mom and a dad and their pre-teen daughter. Despite a life-like quality to them, they still seem game-like.

      Then I fly away to the north from here, to an area that's east or north east of the peninsula; it's more at the same height level as the general landscape and not quite so fragmented as the other island. It's the leftovers of some kind of world tree thing that some night elves tried making. There are some NPCs here that provide alternate introductory quests for people entering Outland.

      (recall gap)

      I see from my friend's list that HW is on his priest. He's only sixty and this seems normal to me. I remember physically being in a place like a regular room with him. I suggest that he could go level up. It seems he's annoyed, he was trying to do tower captures in EPL but I can't figure out why and I don't ask. This room has windows and light comes in from outside, but it feels dark and dingy even so. There's an off-orange tint?

      There's some kind of IKEA shelf thing. There's hi-fi on top of it. I adjust the top unit because I'm concerned about it dropping off, it's just barely bigger than the shelf's surface area. In the dream this hi-fi belongs to HW but also seems to be his PC or something.

      (recall gap)

      Later on I'm on some kind of desert island. It's sunny and grassy and wild, a little bit of rolling hills. I have an inventory with some food but need to get wood break some rocks to make better tools with. Vague recall of beating on a rock with some tiny drum sticks, amused by the rhythmic noise. (Not realising that I couldn't have performed this action in waking life since I have no experience of it)

      This is after some bit where I had been on the island and I'd finished my "run" of it. This bit now was like a new game or a reset.

      (recall gap)

      A different sequence about space ships and docking into a large and complex vertical structure (in space?) with hundreds of individual hangars for sort of fighter-sized ships. The hangars have blue energy fields at the entrances. Inside there look to be full amenities (not unlike a Freelancer equipment shop?).

      I think to myself it's amazing I get assigned to dock on landing pad one, when there are literal hundreds of them. I am here with someone else, maybe HW, but whoever it was didn't want me near them. I find this annoying, since the dock assignment was automatic, as was the docking procedure, so I couldn't override to get closer to them (and help them feel better?).



      Notes:

      - There are some less common dream elements to this dream, for one thing it was fairly consistent about Helfire's look and layout. On the other hand, the room I met HW in seemed like it could actually be his flat room, though the IKEA shelf and the hi-fi stuff seemed like ours; associative link between IKEA and HW, since both are from Sweden?

      - The bit in space was a mix-mash of most of the space themes that have made impressions on me, like Homeworld, Freelancer, Elite Dangerous and a few others. The "vertical" bit may have been brought about by what I heard in the audio documentary of the fourth Alien film, which at the time had made me think about the Hiigaran mothership.
      -- It's a shame I haven't really had any dreams that I can recall that are more directly around Alien themes and WY.

      - Perhaps the reason I couldn't mine Adamantite (red skill level) was because I generally think of Adamantium-related materials to be very top end, although in the game Khorium would be the top end material.

      - The irony of me being 70 and HW being 60 on his character is that this is a role reversal, where I'm trying to include him by saying it would be a good idea for him to level up.

      - HW seemed moody, annoyed or upset, in the dream. I think I couldn't understand why and wanted him to feel better.
    12. cclxxxviii. Mining disappointment, abandoned palace, gangster murder and get away

      by , 06-23-2021 at 10:35 AM
      23rd June 2021

      Fragment:

      I'm mining in a cave with H. It's a mix of MC and BL, I find a block of ruby ore and dig it out. Disappointed with finding only one piece, I dig some more of the surrounding area, maybe two or three block radius. I don't find any more ore of any kind but I've uncovered this old and damaged wooden door. It leads into a 2x2 (blockwise) space, also mostly in wood and more realistic. It's all dark stain but looks old like watermarked and scratched.

      There's another door opposite, it has cracks and through them and the bottom of the door blue-ish daylight comes through. I tell H to come or something and I open the door. Then on the other side I'm in a small hall I think. It's like many palaces like ones I've visited in my native country, in terms of style and so on. There's an arching double door made of wood, painted white, it has windows on the top half and the rest of the hall has several large latticed windows along the same wall.

      Through the double door is a covered courtyard, kind of, it's more like a square and covered landing at the top of some stairs and apart from some iron bars and the stone-like roof, it's open to the elements. This roof is low and not far from my head, if I had claustrophobia I'd probably consider it to be a claustrophobic space. I look around. This bit has a pattern-decorated tile floor, white and yellow? It's relatively high here, some four or five stories at a guess and below I see a much bigger courtyard with a road and some dried-up stone fountains.

      I also look upwards where I can. It's an overcast day I think and I see more of the palace building sections, understanding it to be a convoluted layout. In the dream, I'm excited and verbally share my excitement with H, I think implying that I'll be taking it over or something.

      (recall gap)

      Arriving at some prison in a car, a road curves around the bottom of a cliffside and it's relatively flat down here. There's a look of North American deserts to this cliffy area. I get out of the car and approach the prison entrance, there are some purple-clothed gangsters that seem to have come out of GTA:SA; I shoot their leader with an oversized desert eagle, the rest of them become agitated and I threaten them calmly not to try anything or they'll be next.

      I walk past them, past the prison entrance and to a bit on the side of this prison complex. There's a garage and a damaged car. Someone fixes up the car and I take it away, with someone else sitting at the back. Then I see myself driving it in third person and when I go too fast, this other person sitting at the back gets whipped out from the rear window but holds on. There's some interface showing me their health rapidly decreasing and as I slow down, it returns a little. I determine that I can only do short bursts of speed because he must survive. Police chase after us but I am not too concerned, more annoyed than anything, expecting to lose them soon.



      Notes:


      - Apart from the fact that I had watched a Star Trek episode last night involving a prison planet, I can't really figure out where the GTA sequence might have stemmed from. It was an extremely casual sequence where I was not exactly myself and was more just a character myself.

      - The palace matched all of my expectations for how that type of place would look, single pane glazing, somewhat old and not taken care of, in a certain style, etc. I have not been to any such palace or similar styled building in quite some time, years really.

      - We have recently been thinking about playing Minecraft again but we haven't made any decisions yet, especially since we want to use some mods. I have some longing for mining and building, which both that part and the part about the palace seem to relate to.

      - There was something in that recall gap but it seems to have evaporated. I can only vaguely recall some disjointed scenes.
    13. cclxxxvi. Inferior laptop, Accidental exercise

      by , 06-21-2021 at 10:25 AM
      20th June 2021

      Fragment:

      Outside, walking through a town area of some kind, it's mostly flat, maybe with some downwards incline. I'm with someone I know closely, maybe J or L. There's something about a lan party of some kind. Walking through the town, maybe food or fast food is mentioned. There are eight of us in total? I am carrying a laptop around in one of the laptop bags we have here at home in waking life. In the dream, I am aware of my laptop being inferior to everyone else's.

      Something about eating beans? There's some kind of sauce, maybe chilli, but no rice. There's a familiar taste.

      While reading the exercise on p.78 of Dream Gates:


      I'm sitting down and reading this exercise thinking about desert, then beach and then home. From the windows of many of the flats people are banging pots and pans, my awareness or focus on this quickly fades and then I'm focusing on the cars parked around the cul-de-sac, which are warm to the touch from the sun, but there is a morning light so actually most were in shade. Suddenly S appears, her lead is in my hand and she licks my face; I lick her back for good measure because I always feel she needs to have perspective of how it feels. She reels a little as she would.

      Then she starts pulling hard on the lead, barking or growling at some passer-by and making me trip over and fall to the floor, vaguely feeling myself being dragged along but without any of the friction I'd expect. She makes her way to the hills behind the garages, it looks as it did after the shanties were removed but before the supermarket built. The scene changes to be next to the eucalyptus on that hill. Then, I have a vague intent.

      It changes to unfinished highway that would be visible from the hill. I'm under the unfinished underpass of a concrete bridge. I know there's a door to my left but I cannot turn or see it from my point of view. I feel it's a metal door, painted a deep blue, maybe a little rusty. Like ones I've seen somewhere before in my childhood.

      I sort of unintentionally break away from this and then just continue reading a bit more and then write some notes down for this.



      Notes:

      - Although the exercise asks for thinking of natural places and afterwards I found that my old home felt natural enough, because there's vegetation and bush in several parts and the building of where I used to live has always been pretty much on the edge of town, so nature of some kind has never been very far.

      - The visualisation came about mostly unintentionally but it was pleasant, especially because although I couldn't see S very well, I appreciated the fact that she was there as some kind of animal guide. I was always told by mom that black dogs are considered luck charms in certain cultures, so I suppose that was present in my mind on some level. Thinking about it now, S appeared very well and despite vague visuals, she seemed just as I have always known her.

      - The concrete underpass was shady and the unknown door could be a such a figurative entrance to the underworld and so on as the exercise suggests, even though the door might not lead down, it would go through earth.
    14. cclxxxv. Visiting MoonageDaydream for a donation

      by , 06-18-2021 at 08:35 AM
      17th June 2021

      Mostly going from end to start.

      Dream (DFLN):

      I'm in a city, I'm walking outside with MoonageDaydream, HumbleDreamer and another woman that I don't recognise or recall anymore.

      The dream ends when we are walking down a hill on a paved bit. It's cobbles and it mostly follows the hill but becomes stairs at some points where there's too much incline. Just before, I'm thinking out loud about how it reminds me of my native country, thinking that it looks to have more buildings however. I am beside the unknown woman, possibly slightly from behind and touching her shoulders, "It's funny, I don't remember getting here" and then I look at my right hand and begin counting the fingers from the back. The count seems normal at a glance but I feel self-conscious trying this RC in public. I think about M/M themes in this city but nothing manifests or changes.

      It's about near sunset and there's a sea visible from this hill. I start thinking about an airport and the name of the town, feeling dumb for not remembering and then I wake up.

      Just before this part, the four of us were crossing a road. It's a busy place and there are loads of people (or so it feels). We're somewhere in the USA supposedly and people are generally amused by my presence, seeming to think I'm British despite having no such accent. We have just come out of a store and as we cross this road with crossing island, I think about how there's Covid but nobody is wearing any face coverings. I also think to myself about how I've had my first jab, on my right art. (In reality I haven't yet)

      HumbleDreamer seems moody or perhaps overly serious for most of the walking around, but he doesn't really act that way. I am afraid that I have done something to upset him. At one point he says he got here from France and there's a segment where he's making a video for YouTube in a mostly white room, I forget what about.

      Back to the store, it's like an airport shop come to think of it. It's very generic and enclosed, at the end of a corridor. People interact with me and the group and this is the main reason I end up thinking about Covid. The person behind the till, a white middle-aged American woman, with short hair, kisses my hand or something and another woman offers a bite of a pizza slice to the group but we decline politely. Just before we get to the till, I'm talking to the unknown woman about snacks and such and how they're much cheaper here, because we saw a vending machine in the corridor leading to the shop. It's dark in the corridor except for some strong hue lights, reds and greens mostly. The drinks are like little cartons of apple juice and so on and cost about thirty cents, making me think I could buy about three or four versus the cost that I'm used to. The snacks are mostly potato stuff.

      We talk about how there's not a lot of importing around here, for some reason.

      Before the corridor and some dark halls, we are in a church yard of some kind. It's all mostly paved, gritty or gravel. There's a dry fountain in the middle, made of stone? It's MoonageDaydream's school workplace apparently. We came all the way here from wherever we came from to give her a donation, but I'd forgotten my hundred and twenty five dollars that I was to give her. I fear the group is disappointed with me but suspect MoonageDaydream is fine with it. I decide to give it to her as soon as I can.

      The church/school building itself is very grey and looks a bit like Gaudi's style, very bulbous and round shapes and some mini spires. I remark on this and comment on how it must be Spanish in origin, therefore. The outside of the building has a render made up with large smooth stones that can fit in a hand's palm. I talk about the building style with the group but I don't recall their comments.

      There was more recall but I felt too tired writing my initial notes.



      Notes:

      - When I woke up, I thought about how some of my conclusions during the dream were a bit hasty and I thought about how I could have become lucid at the end.
      -- In a way, it's unusual that I thought about how I got there, I just found myself trying to think of the trip there and the airport and finding I couldn't remember, partly attributing it to tiredness from the trip.

      - Unlike the other dream where I'd only heard MoonageDaydream, in this dream I could see her and HumbleDreamer clearly. Their details as characters seemed accurate to how I remember their profile pictures here.
    15. cclxxxiii. Listening from the bathroom

      by , 06-11-2021 at 07:00 PM
      11th June 2021

      Some in-line notes, in brackets.

      Fragment:

      I'm in the bathroom at the old home. I'm having a wee or something, I think I'm fully naked (probably since I sleep that way and if I got up for the bathroom, it would be the case anyway). I notably recall that the light is on (but there is no reason for it not to be and the situation seems normal enough).

      I hear the front door opening and notably I hear T's voice and a male stranger. I deduce they are friends and hear them come into the house. I'm aware of it being quite late and so I find it a bit odd. I can sort of see through the wall, mentally, getting an idea of where they are. T either comes up to the bathroom door to talk to me or I called. We talk about something but I cannot remember what and I feel pressed to put some clothes on to get out of the bathroom, maybe to find out more?

      The feeling I have around the stranger is mostly that of suspicion, I think because of the late time. I think about going back to my bedroom and possibly imagine it visually.
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