nightmare

This is one of the few rare times I will share personal experiences. I am doing this here to answer the inevitable question some may have in the back of their mind that asks, "Why is he like this?" Here then is a glimpse into some of what I experienced as a child, which I hope will answer that question.

There are two things I experienced as a child, that, during my reading on the subject only this year, have lead me to believe I did have Out of Body experiences as I was growing up. If this is true it also supports the idea William Buhlman (as I recall) presented, stating children experience this a lot, and for most it goes away as they become adults.

The first thing I experienced quite often, which for some reason I can not induce now, was a feeling of falling. As I recall I could position my head a certain way and feel like I was falling. Sometimes it happened right after I settled down to sleep - no positioning required. I would go to sleep with that feeling.

The second was I am sure a visit to the spiritual realm. I found myself in a cardboard tomato box, floating or being carried through the closet. Inside it was darkness and flames. I believe this experience scared me, and that fear is one of the obstacles I will have to overcome.

I was raised by strict Christian parents, my mom, when I was 12, led me to the Lord. It was never really my choice. It just seemed the right thing to do at the time. Later my mom told me she was going to, or she had, send or sent me a dream concerning the second coming. I had a nightmare where I walked outside the trailer where we lived. It was foggy and gray out. I think there were screams all around. I saw an arm lying on the ground. I think I saw other pieces too. This fear has stayed with me all my life. I don't want to be left behind. I don't want to go to Hell. It is a prison I have so far been unable to escape from.

I experienced other things as a child growing up on that same property. I woke up to find laughing demon faces floating on my wall in broad daylight. I saw a floating face, of an unearthly green color, floating up outside my window, slowly, from the bottom. I was wide awake - not even in bed yet. I could hear my brother and my father in the bathroom next door. I can not describe the face, but I have to sleep with the windows covered even today. This experience left deep psychological scars. I saw a black dog on a trail leading from our house through a strip of woods to a field. As I recall I shone a flashlight on it. The light went through it. The shape in a thick black mist was of a dog, lean and tall, at least 4 feet high, with glowing red eyes. After I shone the light on it the black dog merely turned away and walked into the woods. My stuffed toy rabbit I always slept with turned its head 180 degrees to look at me as I was going to sleep with glowing red eyes. I saw a man, dirty, dressed in denim several times. No record of any such person living in the area. I saw a cat, beheaded, a bloody axe still through it, on a stump with another cat carcass nearby in a gravel pit across from our property. I saw a car from the 60's drive past in the road next to the field. I saw the headlights, but heard no engine and saw no taillights when it passed. It just disappeared. I frequently felt watched and was even followed by something pacing alongside me in the woods.

Now in recent years I have gone from being angry at God for various reasons, to forgiving Him, to questioning the validity of the Bible, to feeling chained and bound to my faith. I have come to feel that there is too much left out, that the thousands of people exploring the afterlife and giving us a glimpse of the spiritual realm can't all be hallucinating, lying, or be simply deceived. I can't believe that Satan could create such a place, I can't believe God, through His Son, would interact with any place Satan created if he did, and I can't believe it is some intricate illusion either. In my opinion Satan, being destructive in nature, could not create anything, and even if he did he would simply destroy it because that is who he is.

So that about sums it up for the my background and childhood, and this sets the stage for the entries of my Out of Body Experiments.