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    non-lucid

    Non-Lucid Dreams

    1. Earth's Pocket of Mars

      by , 04-16-2022 at 05:09 PM (The Internal and Subconscious World of DropTherapy)
      I had a dream where humanity found an underwater portion of mars underground and dug a large hole into it that resided in the center lobby of a tall, square shaped hotel complex in the middle of nowhere. The government required everyone interested in travelling down there to take a pill to improve respiration underwater and give the body a natural capacity for filtering toxins, thehe side effect being suicidal ideation. I remember being ignored in the dream and then taking the elevator to the top of the hotel where some people coaxed me down. a little bit afterwards there were reports of increasing radiation in Earth's pocket of mars due to human activity and I became horribly depressed to see us as a species ruin another pretty cool thing. On a separate occasion I remember almost taking too much estrogen. The worst part about this dream is that I have felt feelings that are kind of a precursor to how I felt suicidal in the dream, especially last night when I was too invested in drama between friends and was too stoned to emotionally handle it properly.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    2. Sorry, Calvin

      by , 04-01-2022 at 05:07 PM (The Internal and Subconscious World of DropTherapy)
      I had a dream where I was at someone's house. I remember being in the pool and in the laundry room, where I overheard someone say that those who hasn't had sex yet would often do it with mothers that aren't their own so there's less judgement.

      After that, I was at the upper level of a pretty nice appartment with my dream friend, Calvin. They seemed aware of their creation and asked of their origin and what I call them. I told them that I refer to them as Calvin and they got really mad at me, screeching and asking why I gave a native american a white person's name. They left and I put on some non-existent music immidiately after it all happened. The album cover on my phone was that of a statue of Buddha, but I don't remember what the song sounded like. If I recall, I began to write a song expressing my regret, for whatever reason referring to calvin as Mackerole.

      Afterwards, I went outside in order to feel better and hung out with some Australian people who were eating some homemade coleslaw.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    3. I Strongly Dislike Cloud

      by , 03-02-2022 at 05:02 PM (The Internal and Subconscious World of DropTherapy)
      I remember being at school and loudly criticizing the new plans for the curriculum amd the way they were gonna start doing things in class. The principal said the old ways were unsustainable. After that, me and Aaron were stopping by a gender clinic before heading to his place. I went in and an old lady asked me questions about the effects of Testosterone. I gave a similar response to what I would give irl. I later come to learn that the kid getting the hormones is named Cloud and he already passes as male quite well. He had messy straight black hair and a blue graphic short sleeve button-down shirt, as well as gray, baggy cargo shorts. We talked for a bit and it turned out that he was a bit of a total asshole who didn't make an effort to be inclusive of most non-binary people. As he was leaving, I suppose I must have said something super aggravating because his older brother came out, grabbed me, and slapped the shit out of me, which I believe is turned into a beating in front of the clinic. My mom helped me out and I guess I got my book about spanking people back??? The dream kind of fell apart after a certain point.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    4. Afraid of the World

      by , 02-27-2022 at 04:59 PM (The Internal and Subconscious World of DropTherapy)
      I had a dream earlier this morning where my mom's physical condition became progressively worse and it made me anxious about if it's even possible to live independently anymore. After I woke up, Aaron mentioned we could move to the Netherlands if push comes to shove but I'd miss my friends
    5. It's Finally Starting!

      by , 02-21-2022 at 04:57 PM (The Internal and Subconscious World of DropTherapy)
      My friend Chris has his own local tabletop RPG going from within our friend group irl called space D&D, which as of writing this I have made a character for and have been excited to play, but it's kept getting delayed for whatever reason. In this dream, I was at my old house waiting for him to be online for it, working on my Scottish accent for the character I intended to play. I asked my fiance what he thought and he jokingly said it was a 5 or 6/10 accent. I was in the kitchen when I saw chris and a few other people on a call, so I excitedly bolted upstairs and got on the call while shouting "YEEEAAAAHHHH!!!". I joined as people were talking about their families, but I could tell something was off in their intonation, along with the fact that I didn't recognize a lot of the voices in the call. With this realization, I started to feel defeated and frustrated, because by this point I could tell none of this was real. I then woke up.
      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid
    6. Trans Memes at a Wedding

      by , 02-21-2022 at 04:54 PM (The Internal and Subconscious World of DropTherapy)
      I was observing a wedding between a muslim woman and some white dude outside of the commissary where I work and it devolved into a debate on gay marriage. I was on my computer looking at the imaginary track "horns don't work" off of my actual 2017 album "another whisper in the wall" when someone (possibly the groom) came up to me and asked whar I thought, after which I had an intense mental breakdown where I expressed that I didn't care and just wanted to look at Reddit, which I was presently scrolling for memes about estrogen. Afterwards I was trying to find a good guitar tone for my new album because the night before irl I was watching a video where in the comments section they were talking about how a low gain guitar tone with a punchy kick drum and thick bass tone can sound super heavy. In the dream I was tweaking the track "answer the phone" off of my 2021 album "The Sawn Off Horn". For whatever reason, this was in a real life interface, for lack of a better term. I was outside a building and the different mixing channels that you would normally find in FL Studio were hidden inside bushes. Once I found the distortion plugin for the guitar, I woke up.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    7. Ruining Everything

      by , 02-19-2022 at 04:52 PM (The Internal and Subconscious World of DropTherapy)
      I remember that the dream involved me playing roblox harmlessly at first, however things quickly took a dark turn when I went to see four of my friends, one of which is one I have in real life.

      For no particular reason, I started doing unspeakable things to them, depriving each of them of one of their five senses. One of them lost their hearing because I jammed a knife so far into their ear canal that I punctured the ear drum, one of them lost the ability to speak, and one of them was both deaf, blind, and mute, and possibly incapable of feeling anything. Another one was locked in a shower. For whatever reason, none of them reacted to any of this, and one of them seemed to almost enjoy it. After all was said and done, I kinda just left them there in the bathroom that this had been done in. My friend Ren was horrified by what I did and publicly called out not me but the action of what I did. No one else cared, but I felt guilty the entire time regardless. I remember going on an episode of either the Simpsons, Malcolm in the middle, or both to confess to my crimes, but I couldn't talk about it because they were only interested in things that would make them money, so hal talked with an interviewer in a kitchen about the time one of his kids did something stupid. Regardless, the whole ordeal was an experience of handling guilt. A few of the locations I was in included inside a giant hardware store-ish thing, outside a shopping center, in a bathroom, and on a TV set.

      One of the people I desecrated looked like max, another like trinity, and another looked like a small electronica musician I saw live once. I feel horrible about all of this and would never wish harm on any of those people. One of them is a somewhat close friend, another one is extremely nice, and the musician seemed cool.

      The fact that this dream was had after I started feeling like school was falling apart isn't a coincidence. I'm glad I have Aaron comforting me right now.
      Categories
      non-lucid , nightmare
    8. "hint hint"

      by , 02-18-2022 at 04:50 PM (The Internal and Subconscious World of DropTherapy)
      I had a funny dream this morning where a kid asked me out by giving me an apple and saying "hint hint", followed by him giving me another apple without saying anything after five seconds. I turned him down because he said he was 15 but he looked and sounded like he was 11. I was in a larger version of the school and had just gotten out of a classroom where mrs. Austin had long, pink hair and Edynn sat parallel to me.
      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment
    9. Various Mini-Dreams

      by , 02-07-2022 at 04:48 PM (The Internal and Subconscious World of DropTherapy)
      The first dream involved some kind of deal at some guy's house in the neighborhood I grew up in. I remember a bike with no rider riding itself into me on the road. It seemed to turn the opposite direction of the one I turned, but I guess I decided to tackle it head-on like an idiot.

      The second dream seemed a bit cut down the middle. One part was about helping my mom see which clothes would work for her. I'd put on the shirts and since we look so similar I guess, I'd make the judgement for her based on how I looked in it.

      The second part was about an upcoming catastrophe where magma would erupt out of every hole in the ground and flood the earth. Our idea was to cover all of the holes except for one so that even if a large part of the earth was still scorched, there would at least be a safe zone on the other side of the planet. This mainly took place at my current school, and I remember sean from elementary and middle school texting me about something while I was trying to help not get myself killed.


      There was a pink, thin long-sleeved shirt my mom didn't want to look good on her but it looked okay on me so I told her it somewhat suited her and she half-jokingly sweared under her breath.
      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment
    10. Various Mini-Dreams

      by , 02-07-2022 at 04:48 PM (The Internal and Subconscious World of DropTherapy)
      The first dream involved some kind of deal at some guy's house in the neighborhood I grew up in. I remember a bike with no rider riding itself into me on the road. It seemed to turn the opposite direction of the one I turned, but I guess I decided to tackle it head-on like an idiot.

      The second dream seemed a bit cut down the middle. One part was about helping my mom see which clothes would work for her. I'd put on the shirts and since we look so similar I guess, I'd make the judgement for her based on how I looked in it.

      The second part was about an upcoming catastrophe where magma would erupt out of every hole in the ground and flood the earth. Our idea was to cover all of the holes except for one so that even if a large part of the earth was still scorched, there would at least be a safe zone on the other side of the planet. This mainly took place at my current school, and I remember sean from elementary and middle school texting me about something while I was trying to help not get myself killed.


      There was a pink, thin long-sleeved shirt my mom didn't want to look good on her but it looked okay on me so I told her it somewhat suited her and she half-jokingly sweared under her breath.
      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment
    11. You are Lost

      by , 11-17-2021 at 02:35 PM (The Internal and Subconscious World of DropTherapy)
      I remember being in this sort of dream world where different passageways lead to different parts of the dream. In one faithful instance of stupidity, I found myself going through a tunnel with some people that lead to a relatively large, dark expanse and then coming out the other side alone. The setting I found myself in was a roller rink's food court/resting area, but minus the actual roller rink itself.

      I tried to leave, but as I went further into the entrance I came through, I felt like I was being impeded by a stronger version of the same pitch black material that my trailer's blinds are made of. It felt as if I was completely enveloped in it the harder I tried to power through it. Eventually, I decided to call upon the help of a tall, vaguely emaciated looking figure who must have been the god of this realm. He told me that in order to get through, I needed to maintain a state of absolute calm, and only then will the passageways to other parts of the dream be opened to me.

      I decided it was worth a shot. I walked in as far as I could, already missing whatever I was doing before I found myself in this predicament, laid down, took a few deep breaths, and suddenly I felt as if I was no longer being crushed like before. The first few attempts to leave were unsuccessful due to me losing my sense of calm and/or focus, but eventually I did make it to doorways that lead elsewhere.

      The problem, however, is that none of these were desirable locations. A lot of them featured nightmarish creatures and dead ends, causing me to have to make it back to the roller rink area. A lot of them featured an entity resembling a very short old african american lady with no arms, although its human appearance was only a fluke. In actuality, it was as far removed from any kind of humanity as possible, acting either as a cunning, highly manipulative predator or a mindlessly cannibalistic one.

      After what felt like at least an hour of searching, I made it to a small room with heavy green lighting and an old-fashioned wallpaper that featured vertical stripes and other decorative designs. The room itself was probably slightly larger than an average closet space, and across from me was a door that I presumed to at least lead to somewhere more feasible. The issue, however, was the presence right next to the door of an instance of the afforementioned creature and another, much larger and bulkier one that might have been wearing a tuxedo and had a face similar to the vaguely insmuth looking people from tool's music video for parabola. behind them was a chair and a few food bowls full of what looked like cat food.

      I thought that maybe I could dart past them and open the door, however I didn't consider the possibility of it being locked, and once they spotted me, they both attempted to attack/take bites out of me, to which I got angry and adrenaline-filled and knocked over the chair and food bowls, eventually causing me to wake up. I remember thinking to myself, "oh thank god finally".

      Updated 11-17-2021 at 02:52 PM by 89498

      Categories
      non-lucid , nightmare
    12. Shit, the Car Got Impounded Again!

      by , 08-14-2021 at 05:04 PM (The Internal and Subconscious World of DropTherapy)
      I remember being out in the parking lot of some place with my mom's boyfriend's car. I had to go and get something and when I returned a shorter mexican person told me it was being impounded again. I freaked out and started crying profusely, thinking about what my mom or her boyfriend would say considering in the dream we had just gotten the car out. He said I could make an appeal to get it sooner and until then there was a guy who drove a truck who I could call to get to school beforehand. That person came in and it turned out to be an acquaintance from sophomore year of high school. They said "hi Madison", and then left.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    13. Cross-Universe Therapy

      by , 08-12-2021 at 05:00 PM (The Internal and Subconscious World of DropTherapy)
      I was messing with a really advanced 3D art program from 1994. It creates realistic clay sculptures out of sketches/outlines.

      Afterwards, I was talking to grandma about her death. I asked her if she knew she had dementia and there was a really long pause. A photo of me from when I was younger changed progressively after I asked this question from youthful happiness to surprise/fear. I was heading to the parking lot and talking to my mom about a photo of me from a timeline where I didn't transition afterwards, and I look like an out of proportion, uglier version of anthony green.

      Afterwards, we were on a car ride to my therapist's office that lasted quite a while. Once I got there, I saw a variety of staff, including the manager from work most people don't like. Her and a few other people were instructing a class full of people from different dimensions where certain countries were the world superpower. I was the US, there was a gay kid from the Canada universe, etc. The Canadian kid, who looked between the ages of 14 and 36, really showed an interest in me, as he kept talking to me. He was trying to tell me something but I cut him off with a firm and flat "I know". I then apologized.

      During the lecture, he wrapped his arm around my stomach and pulled me closer, although I resisted this and escaped his grip. When the therapists and whatnot left, I used that time to check my phone to see if the person on the SCP foundation wikidot site I had asked to take a look at my idea had responded. He did, saying "I can't. I have a lot scheduled with friends, sorry". His forum signature was a graphic with four colorful cartoon dolphins overlapping each other. The instructors came back in and the lecture continued.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    14. Cross-Universe Therapy

      by , 08-12-2021 at 05:00 PM (The Internal and Subconscious World of DropTherapy)
      I was messing with a really advanced 3D art program from 1994. It creates realistic clay sculptures out of sketches/outlines.

      Afterwards, I was talking to grandma about her death. I asked her if she knew she had dementia and there was a really long pause. A photo of me from when I was younger changed progressively after I asked this question from youthful happiness to surprise/fear. I was heading to the parking lot and talking to my mom about a photo of me from a timeline where I didn't transition afterwards, and I look like an out of proportion, uglier version of anthony green.

      Afterwards, we were on a car ride to my therapist's office that lasted quite a while. Once I got there, I saw a variety of staff, including the manager from work most people don't like. Her and a few other people were instructing a class full of people from different dimensions where certain countries were the world superpower. I was the US, there was a gay kid from the Canada universe, etc. The Canadian kid, who looked between the ages of 14 and 36, really showed an interest in me, as he kept talking to me. He was trying to tell me something but I cut him off with a firm and flat "I know". I then apologized.

      During the lecture, he wrapped his arm around my stomach and pulled me closer, although I resisted this and escaped his grip. When the therapists and whatnot left, I used that time to check my phone to see if the person on the SCP foundation wikidot site I had asked to take a look at my idea had responded. He did, saying "I can't. I have a lot scheduled with friends, sorry". His forum signature was a graphic with four colorful cartoon dolphins overlapping each other. The instructors came back in and the lecture continued.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    15. An Astrophysicist Moves Into the Trailer Park

      by , 08-08-2021 at 04:34 AM (The Internal and Subconscious World of DropTherapy)
      I remember being in a large room with a bunch of different people, some I knew and others I didn't. 80's George Carlin was there sitting at a seat diagonal from me and we were all sharing music and media and whatnot. I shared my music with a disclaimer that my music is written and performed in my own language and when I prrssed play, everyone left halfway through the song and george carlin displayed mild contempt.

      After that segment of the dream, I was just in my room minding my business when all of a sudden I see someone drive a trailer exactly like ours into the lot next to us. Their trailer was modified to rest off the ground and had two large red jet engines at the back. Me, my mom and her boyfriend grew curious and decided to enter from the staircase descending from the bottom. The owner and occupant was an approximately 5'4" thinner lady with brown hair. My mom's boyfriend told her his name, prefaced by the statement that if he had his ID he would show that to her as well. She told us her name and that she's an astrophysicist or something like that. The entire trailer looked completely different on the inside, almost like some kind of lab. Eventually I was tasked by someone there with sorting her miniature collectible snow globes of varying sizes on the shelf by her bed.

      I think I had another dream shortly after or before where I explained weirdcore to Edynn but I don't remember for sure.
      Categories
      non-lucid
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