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    EbbTide000

    I wana DIE

    by , 08-15-2012 at 01:29 PM (311 Views)
    It's 7:02 am here and I just woke with the image of a man taking a large pet crocodile (8ft long and very musclly) for a walk through a jungle, on a lead, like a dog. I was behind them so no fear of huge crocodile for me. Got to put it in dream journal and pasword thread later.

    Now it's 9pm (same day) Wed 15-Aug-12. I joined Linkzelda's password experiment.

    I am lazy but I am honest. I find incubation and intending too much trouble. So, I am not going to think about finding Linkzelda's passeord or finding winning numbers for Waking Nomad or anything. I will just listen to my breathing and heartbeat as I drop-off. I won't even hope to remember a dream. But if I do I will see if I can find any numbers for Waking Nomad or a password for Linkzelda.

    They say that as we go through our sleep cycles we enter and leave emptyness (total death) several times. But we do it without awarness so we miss the opportunity to permanently drop connection to what we are not.

    I want to die. I have wanted is since I was an infant. As an infant I offten hoped I would never wake up.

    The dream below is from sivison's old thread called:

    http://www.dreamviews.com/f19/experi...5/#post1860668

    This dream reveals my deepest wish (to die).



    Quote Originally Posted by debrajane View Post

    (...)

    I slept and drempt well last night.

    It is 8:33 am Tuesday 14-Feb-2012 here now.

    Had nice smooth dreams but the one I liked best was:

    I saw a notice inviting folk to a meet of some sort. I went to the place willing to wait, even sleep in the wet, (with rain or dew) grass til other folk turned up.

    When they did they were humans but unusual looking.

    Like beautiful hand-carved living wooden statues. Every move was extremely beautiful and perfectly poised. But totally natural, as in, they had been highly routinized and highly self-disciplined monks and nuns for a single life of thousands of years with thousands of happy years of highly routinized and highly self-disciplined life yet to live.

    Their prayers and meditations were non verbal, it was all gentle movement and body language and facial expression.

    Together we went places.

    Gently teleporting, smoothly, imperceptiblty. We were just there quickly and quietly.

    At the last place, before I woke, I stood beside this cool silent monk in a forrest on the side of hills. I was aware of standing beside him as I desired to also be a yellow orb.*

    Then I was a yellow orb of gentle energy.

    I wanted to (metaphorically) die.

    So, as an orb, I rose a mile or two, slowely, into the air, with reverent gratitude.

    Then Gently and greatfully descended untill I touched the juicy topsoil of this sacred place and merged, formlessly.

    Then I wanted to keep descending to the dark. molten and hard core of this divine planet but the quiet monk silently seemed to encourage me to consider remaining in the organic and alive, juicy, life-giving topsoil.

    Then I gently woke up.

    *

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