• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    The Lab Notebook

    Like many others, I was attracted to lucid dreaming by Inception. Unlike some others, I was very quick to let go of the misconceptions it offers, and to learn and embrace the lingo, the practices, and the understanding of dreaming that are accepted by the community of real people I found here.

    I titled my dream journal "The Lab Notebook" because of the way I'm naturally inclined to write the portions of my dream journal entries that are commentary and side notes on my dreams. I always write with the vocabulary, style, and mindset of a scientist recording the observations she's made during her experiments. That's the framework in which I can best make sense of what I'm learning about dreaming.

    I always write about dreams in the present tense, because I remember reading somewhere that doing so helps the events of the dream seem more immediate and real to you, and helps you recall them.

    The color-coding system I use in my dream journal is:

    Dark red: Things I did while awake
    Teal: Non-lucid portions of the dream
    Deep sky blue: Semi-lucid portions of the dream
    Dark orchid: Lucid portions of the dream (because it's my favorite color)
    [Black within square brackets:] Commentary added by me while I was writing the dream journal entry

    1. Swimming with Kim and Adventure Recruitment

      by , 10-25-2018 at 09:20 AM (The Lab Notebook)
      Awake, Non-lucid dream, Lucid dream, [Commentary made while awake]

      [For the second lucid in a row, I'm actually aware of the dream beginning, and it begins the same way as the last one - a visual scene emerges out of a blank nothingness, and I focus on it until it expands from a few little circles to fill my entire field of vision. This time,] I'm out in front of a big, old, two-story wooden house where some Toastmasters meetings are going to take place. I go inside to attend them, and some of my real-life Toastmasters friends are there, too. There are also visitors there, whom they are trying to recruit to Toastmasters. While I'm standing around and talking with the group, I demonstrate my ability to fly from the ground floor of the house up to the upstairs balcony. I compare it to "lifting myself by the seat of my pants" [shoutout to Dr. Seuss!] because, I notice on this particular occasion, that's roughly what it feels like when I bring my concentration to bear on the task of actuating that ability. It feels like I'm using my mental concentration to lift myself up from the small of my back and propel myself through the air. I say to the assembled DCs: "I used to be very secretive about my flying, but now I'm very open about it. I think everyone should be able to enjoy it." [And I do.]

      After the meetings are over, I walk out of the house onto the street, except where one would expect there to be a street, there is instead a big, shallow swimming pool. It is surrounded by tropical plants, and its edges go in a series of curves so that the overall shape of the pool is a big, amoeba-like blob with lots of curving pockets sticking out every which way. I walk around to one side of the pool, sit down on the edge, put my feet in the water, and think: "I wonder if I can change my clothes just by thinking about it?" I close my eyes and concentrate on what I want to happen - namely, I want to be wearing a swimsuit. I can actually feel the swimsuit form around me. When I open my eyes, I'm wearing a tankini with tribal-looking geometric patterns on it in raspberry, burgundy, and many other colors. I exclaim out loud, "Holy $#!*, I did it!" [It was a super cute swimsuit, but certainly not one I would ever choose for myself in real life. Upon reflecting afterwards, I realized that my dream body doesn't have stretch marks - or if it does, they're much less noticeable than they are in real life, since I don't remember noticing them - and it's also less fat than my real one, though not dramatically so.]

      I notice that the regular clothes I had just been wearing - jeans, button-down shirt and white sneakers - are now floating on the surface of the pool, around me. I get the rest of the way into the pool. There are two other people enjoying the pool, two guys and another woman. I realize that while my swimsuit top has shoulder straps, it also has a part that's supposed to tie together across my back, just at the bottom of my shoulder blades, and it's untied. I approach the woman (the pool is shallow enough to walk in easily) and say, "Trade you ties?" We tie the ties on each other's swimsuits, as I had just requested. She is some type of POC [most likely South Asian? I couldn't say for sure] and very pretty, and her name is Kim.

      After swimming and lounging around for a bit, the two guys, Kim, and I all get out of the pool, down at the far end of the 'street,' away from the house I had just been in. Another dream character is standing there, a petite, definitely East Asian woman
      [she reminds me of a younger Agent May from the "Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D." TV series]. She asks me and the two guys to come with her; she is recruiting us for some kind of spy-adventure-type mission. [I have no idea why she ignored Kim completely, but she did.] We follow her, but I turn to say goodbye to Kim, who is now standing on the edge of the pool, as I go.

      The two guys and I follow Young Agent May into an area that looks like an ancient temple courtyard, all dusty dirt floors and high, light-yellow-tan-colored walls of rough-hewn stone that stand open to the sky. There are lots of wall segments forming corners, but there is a space off to the left that's more than big enough for a dark-brown, equally-roughly-hewn wooden table with two people sitting behind it. This is the check-in desk for the adventure/mission. Young Agent May goes over to check us in, and I look around the courtyard while the two guys start to explore. As I'm looking around, a brochure printed on unbleached brown paper appears in my hand. The title, printed in a curved swoop across the center in big, yellow letters, reads "Dole Presents: Adventures in Dole Whip."
      [Or something like that. Interestingly enough, I could read the whole thing perfectly fine. I can't remember all of it, but I'll reproduce the text I do remember.] The brochure goes on to say: "This dreamer is about to earn her title! Next Task: Create a tiny, consensually-dressed, applesauce humanoid." There's even an illustration of this little humanoid figure I'm apparently supposed to create out of applesauce. [Don't ask me what "consensually-dressed" is supposed to mean. Presumably "dressed in an outfit of its own choosing," with an undertone of "modestly dressed."]

      I wake up to the sensation of my left arm being asleep. I've fallen asleep on my left side, something I rarely do.

      [Cool! New ability! This is the first time I've ever changed my clothing at will. I guess that counts as changing my appearance, although I really meant changing an aspect of my physical body.]
    2. Dream Fragments Touching on 3 of my Favorite Media Universes

      by , 10-18-2018 at 02:19 AM (The Lab Notebook)
      I enter a fancy, beautiful restaurant in one of the nice towers on Coruscant. I round a corner and sit down at a table with Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi, whom I had arranged to meet there for breakfast.

      I am approaching the main entrance to Hogwarts, but in order to get to the main door, you have to get through a series of challenges and tasks. They include climbing across a sliding metal puzzle-thing (which someone who was there before me has already aligned so that it can be climbed across easily), and washing some dishes and putting them away neatly (again, this has already been done for me). When you get to the main door, you have to sing the Hogwarts school song to the low doorknob to get it to open. Fortunately, I still remember most of it, and I sing the end part of it. The door opens.

      I'm with one of my coworkers, and we are meeting to play a Star Trek RPG. We have to wait for my sister to show up, and I go on a rant about how she can get away with sleeping in late, while I never could when I was a kid.
    3. Nanook, the Self-Driving SUV

      by , 10-13-2018 at 01:33 AM (The Lab Notebook)
      Non-lucid dream, [Commentary made while awake]

      I'm looking out my upstairs bedroom window in our family's house [our first one that I lived in as a kid - the one that didn't have upstairs bedroom windows, it was only one story in real life], watching my parents and sister drive away in their new Honda SUV. They drive up onto a freeway offramp, where they get out of the new SUV and get into a different vehicle [bus, I think?]. The now-empty SUV is a self-driving car, so I watch it come back down the freeway offramp and drive itself along one of the main roads through our neighborhoods. I realize that if we're going to get it back, I'm going to have to go chase after it. I know that it's brand-new, my parents just bought it, and since I'm home alone, I'm now responsible for it.

      I run out of the house and chase after the SUV, on foot. You'd think it would either keep going in a straight line and crash into something, or else it would be programmed to either pull over and stop or come back to our driveway and park itself, I think, but no. It's programmed to follow the streets and turn at randomly-selected corners, of which there are many in our tract-home neighborhood. Fortunately, it does so very slowly, slowly enough that I almost catch up to it a couple of times, even running after it on foot. I follow it into the neighborhood on the opposite side of that main road I mentioned, just north of the one where our house is. I lose sight of it and yell, "NANOOK!" before I remember, It's a car, not a dog. It can't hear you.
      [No surprise it's a Honda; my parents have been loyal to them for many years. The odd part is that they never name their cars in real life.]

      I finally see Nanook the Honda SUV parked nose-in to the chain-link fence at the front of somebody's front yard, which stops it for long enough that I can get close, but it gets away from me again before I can get in. [I think - my memory gets fuzzy here. It was a fun and amusing dream, though.]
    4. Acknowledging Julia

      by , 09-28-2018 at 09:17 AM (The Lab Notebook)
      Awake, Non-lucid dream, Lucid dream, [Commentary made while awake]

      I see a beautiful, blue sky with lots of puffy, white clouds in it. I realize that this is a dream [I'm not quite certain, but I believe I became lucid by first realizing that I didn't recall how I had gotten outdoors where I could look up at the sky], and ground my awareness in the dream by focusing on the clouds in the sky. The sky expands to fill my field of vision, covering up and washing out the gray nothing behind it.

      I realize I'm in the backyard of the house I lived in as a child, and I'm with two girls I knew in elementary school. I walk around the neighborhood with them for a bit, exploring the yards of the houses. They are fenced in, and many of them are on very steep hills
      [which was not the case in real life]. At one point, a man who lives in one of the houses sees us. Eventually, I stop following them and start following two DCs who are young women closer to my own age now, a blonde one and an Asian one. [I typically prefer to spend my lucid-dreaming time exploring my dream world on my own, but this time, I thought I could maintain a longer, more stable lucid dream if I focused my attention on following two dream characters around, instead. It seems to have worked.]

      We end up wandering from the suburban neighborhood we're in to a well-lit, wood-paneled mall. We end up in front of a hair salon, where the salon owner stops us and presents the Asian DC with an award for her hairdressing skills. I notice that she is suddenly wearing a pretty, fancy dress appropriate for accepting an award at an awards ceremony. After she accepts it, we continue wandering around and exploring. The next time I notice the Asian DC, I see that she's wearing casual, comfortable clothes again. I exclaim in disappointment, "Aw, man! I wanted to do the finger-snap thing!" [Meaning, I wanted to consciously and actively change her from one outfit to another by snapping my fingers, Q-style. I was disappointed that she had performed the transformation on her own. ]

      Our wanderings continue to take us through indoor environments, and we eventually end up in a spacious church where the service is just about to start. A greeter hands me a service bulletin, which is a single large sheet of paper that you have to fold up yourself. I wander through the sanctuary, from front to back, just as the procession is starting.

      As I wander outside again, I remember that the next time I found myself lucid dreaming, I had wanted to do the 'pinch your nose shut and try to breathe through it' reality check, so I do so. It still works the same as ever - I can still feel myself breathing even while pinching my nose, which I still think is the coolest sensation. However, this time, my dream-sense of touch tells me that I'm missing part of the tip of my nose.
      [I thought, "Maybe I've been reading too many A Song of Ice and Fire books?"]

      I see the aforementioned blonde dream character again, and for the first time, we actually stop to talk. When I ask, she tells me that her name is Julia, and it turns out that she knows that I'm the dreamer. She refers to me as the "universe goddess." [There's a gap in my memory here; I don't recall how we got from just talking to this next part, but:]

      Julia is now mostly submerged in a tank of water, and I lay one hand on the crown of her head, which is sticking up above the water, and say: "I, [my full, legal IRL name], do hereby name you Julia." As she climbs out of the tank, I add, " [Nickname] is short for [my full first name]." [I often explain that to people when meeting them for the first time IRL.] After Julia is out of the tank, I ask her if I can do that again, because I didn't use both hands. I ask her what her middle and last names are, and she says "Tilly El-Haz[something, I don't remember exactly]." We stand facing each other, and I lay both hands on the top of her head and name her with her full name. [She looked like she could have been Supergirl, or otherwise related to those Els.]

      [Hmm. Fascinating. I've only met one or two other dream characters who exhibited any awareness that we were in a dream, and this is the first time one has referred to me in terms like "the universe goddess." This dream put me in a great mood, as my lucid dreams always do.]
    5. Travels by Bicycle in Search of Underwear

      by , 06-06-2016 at 05:26 AM (The Lab Notebook)
      Non-lucid, Lucid, [Commentary written while awake]

      I'm in the office building complex north of Disneyland. I'm there to be cast in a show or parade there. [I don't specifically remember becoming lucid, but I do remember being lucid.] I'm floating around up by the ceiling, which is a high ceiling, when the casting director walks into the room below me. When I see her enter, I float down so I can talk to her. "Hi," I say while descending. She says I've been cast in [whatever show or parade it was], and to go and change into my costume for the show. I head out of the building to do so.

      Outside the building, I stand on a stretch of grass that ends at the top of a concrete block wall, about twelve feet high, at the bottom of which is a sidewalk. I need to get down onto the sidewalk to get back to my car. I know I can do a controlled fall, so I do. I jump off the top of the wall, control my descent speed, and land easily on the sidewalk.

      When I get back to my car, I realize I don't have any underclothes with me, and I can't be in the performance without any. I realize I'll have to go to a Walmart or Target and buy new ones, but I don't even know where there is one around here. I decide to set off and go looking for one.

      I'm at a freeway onramp, on my bicycle, still on my way to find the nearest Target or Walmart.
      [Why am I on my bicycle and not in my car? I dunno.] The onramp runs next to a high, tan-colored wall. On this wall, about a quarter to a third of the way down the ramp, there is a traffic sign that reads "NO BICYCLES ON FREEWAY." I start bicycling down the ramp, but when I get to the sign, I read it, sigh, and say, "All right, fine. This is me, not riding my bicycle on the freeway." I get off my bike, turn around, walk it back up the onramp, and start looking for another route that doesn't involve taking the freeway.
    6. Fragments: Matterhorn Wedding, Telekinesis Failure, and a Dream Re-entry

      by , 08-09-2015 at 04:15 PM (The Lab Notebook)
      Awake, Non-lucid dream, Lucid dream, [Commentary made while awake]

      [Sorry this post is so fragmented. Lately, I seem to be able to recall individual dream scenes, but not the transitions between them. I don't remember specifically when or how I became lucid last night, either.]

      I'm in a shop filled with soft slippers, which are all hung on a giant, high white wall display as well as family formal wear in the section furthest back. I see a pair of soft, purple thong slippers that I really want, but I have to ask the store clerk to get them down from the wall for me.

      I'm at the Matterhorn in Disneyland. I look up and see people emerging from a hole in it, and standing on the terraced stage built into the south side. There are stairs leading down from the and into the mountain. There are a whole bunch of people up there; they're all part of a wedding party and are posing for a picture.
      [I think I may have become lucid at this point, or maybe it was at the beginning of this scene, I don't remember.] I come closer and see that there is an open space in the bottom of the mountain, which is set up as a wedding chapel. I look up from it into the hollow, rocky interior of the mountain, thinking that the roller coaster track must spiral around the outside. There's someone kneeling down at the front of the chapel space to pray; I feel like I ought to do the same, but I decide to keep on walking out of the chapel and keep exploring.

      I enter another building of some kind, where there is a woman sitting behind a desk. She talks to me at length about something
      [I don't recall what]. Fully lucid by this point, I say in a rather rude and snippy tone, "I'm leaving to find something more interesting to do." I turn and walk out the door. [I work in tech support; I have to be nice to people I talk to on the phone. I'm not surprised that I was inclined to be snippy toward one of my DCs; it's a good way to release stress and frustration without hurting a real person's feelings.]

      I wander around outside in a city. I look at a handheld GPS device, and it shows me that I am at the edge of one of many irregularly-shaped city blocks, separated by streets that go in all different directions with no pattern. I observe aloud, "GPS works in a dream because I expect it to." Two adjacent blocks are labeled "Omaha" and "Paris," yet when I turn around and look up, I see what is clearly the tallest tower from the LA skyline. I smile at this juxtaposition and say, "I love the dream world."

      At this point, the dream begins to fade,
      and I begin to be aware of my real body again. I think, "I don't want to wake up yet!" I try to visualize the dream environment I was just in. The mental image becomes clearer, and I successfully get back into the dream without having woken up fully. [Amazing! I've never had a dream re-entry that smooth or elegant before. I didn't know I could do that!]

      I'm exploring the entrance to a long, narrow storage room in another house. The room extends off to the left of the narrow door. While trying to get something out, I accidentally cause the two layers of freestanding shelves that run the length of the room to collapse sideways and to the left. I step back and try to restore the shelves by snapping my fingers, like a Q from Star Trek. It doesn't work the first two times. I try to concentrate and focus my intentions more clearly and specifically on what I am trying to do, and then snap my fingers again. It still doesn't work.

      My real-life friend JB and I are in a house that belongs to some intelligent dragons. He talks to the dragons for a bit, and then he leaves to continue the quest he's on. As he leaves the house, icons appear in the air around him, representing his current quest statistics (money, inventory, life points, goals achieved, and so on), like in a computer RPG.
    7. The Beach House on the Cliff

      by , 01-11-2015 at 03:44 PM (The Lab Notebook)
      My parents have just bought a house up on a high hill overlooking the ocean. There is a whole community of similar houses up on that hill; ours is the last one at the end of the street, on the ocean-facing side of the hill. Beyond our house, the hill becomes more of a cliff, and the ocean is below it. My family has just recently moved to the community.

      My parents, my sister, and I are coming back from being out and about, and we see all our neighbors standing or sitting around in the open area at the highest point on the hill, which we have to pass through to get to our house. When we talk to them, we learn that they are out there watching the neighborhood slowly fall apart. I see an open patch of mud on the ground in a corner where two pieces of concrete come together, with air bubbles coming up through it. I see a corner of someone's concrete patio sticking up at an odd angle, no longer flush with the ground. All over the hilltop, the is starting to liquefy like this.

      We get to our house (which is a long, straight, single-story house built perpendicular to the cliff), go inside, and see that the floor is now tilting at a 20-degree angle or more. It's clear that it's ultimately going to slide off the top of the cliff and fall into the ocean, but we can't feel it moving right now. Our mom tells us to collect any of our things that we want to save before that happens.

      My sister and I go to the far end of the living room, which is the narrow edge of the house and the wall furthest from the edge of the cliff. There is a fireplace there, with lots of dark wooden shelves built into the walls on either side of it. We start taking the things we want to save off the shelves. Two of the first things I grab are shiny, silver-colored, stainless-steel thimbles. My sister also grabs a similar thimble of her own. I look closely at both of the thimbles I have and see that they each have a small number 10 etched into them. Good - they're both mine, and my sister hasn't accidentally touched one of mine.

      The shelves are mostly filled with CDs and DVDs in cases, but there are lots of other things there, too. We grab a few other small items, but the number of things we decide to save is tiny compared to the total number of things on the shelves. It doesn't take long until we look at what's left on the shelves and think, "There really isn't anything else here that's particularly important to me."


      ----------------------------------------

      Side notes:
      When I realized what I'd seen and done in this dream, I laughed out loud. Those thimbles are what I've been using as a dream totem for more than four years now. They're supposed to be a reality-check tool. I saw it and handled it, and it never once occurred to me that I might be dreaming, nor that I should use it to see if I might be dreaming. How silly of me!

      Updated 01-11-2015 at 03:47 PM by 37356

      Categories
      non-lucid , nightmare , side notes
    8. Doctor Who-Themed Dream Fragment

      by , 09-30-2014 at 05:03 PM (The Lab Notebook)
      Non-lucid, Lucid, [Commentary written while awake]

      I'm in an episode of Doctor Who that takes place in a big, artificial, vertical column that connects the center of the earth with outer space. I am the current companion, but I'm still me. The conflict in the episode centers around whether or not to set off a bomb at the bottom of the shaft that will blow up the Earth. Different characters present convincing arguments for both setting it off and not setting it off. The Doctor and I, of course, are trying to stop it from being set off. Also, there's a time loop, so we get to go back to earlier in time and get a second chance at stopping it from being set off. At some point [I think during the second loop], I become lucid and enjoy the experience. At the top of the shaft, which is in space, I have to jump through empty space and through a small, circular hole to get into an enclosed space that has air. It's a little scary, but I make it.

      [This was a pretty cool dream, and I wish I could remember it in more detail.]
    9. A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes? Hmm...

      by , 03-05-2013 at 05:13 PM (The Lab Notebook)
      Non-lucid dream, [Commentary made while awake]

      I'm at Disneyland, being trained as a Cast Member. I'm with a large group of other trainees, all of whom are wearing costumes and name tags. [The name tags are blue, not white, for some inexplicable reason.] A trainer is taking us through how to operate King Arthur's Carrousel. For training purposes, all the pieces of the carrousel have been taken apart and removed, so there's just a big, wide, brilliant blue, rotating disc built into the ground. It has smaller discs built into it, just like the setup for the Mad Tea Party. We walk across the disc, led by our trainer, who is explaining how everything works. We gather on the north edge of it in a crowd and listen to him talk.

      The whole carrousel is back in place, and I think, This is a fifty-year-old attraction, so it deserves respect. It's amazing how well it's working after all this time. There must be just one guy left who is the only one who knows how it all works well enough to repair it.

      As part of my training, I go through the queue for the carrousel, which is enclosed, elaborate, and tells a story that appears to be part of, or at least inspired by, Disney's Sleeping Beauty. As I go through, performing my job duties, I find myself on stage as part of a mini-stage show. I'm sitting down, looking out through a window, and when a particular piece of music starts playing, I suddenly realize: You're Belle! Don't forget to sparkle! The song is “Belle,” the opening song from Beauty and the Beast, and I join in the singing. I get all the way through the first verse, and when I get to the end of it, Mulan, who is standing in the audience right next to where I'm sitting at the edge of the stage, says the next line: “Good morning, Belle!” I answer, “Good morning, madame!” ...and then I realize I can't remember what comes next, so I just sort of stop.


      [Dreamskip.] I'm walking away from the carrousel, saying to myself: “I didn't sign up to be a princess! I signed up to be in Operations! I don't want to be a princess! I'm no good at it, and I look more like post-haircut Rapunzel than anyone else!” [I do have short hair in real life, but it's lighter than her hair is when it's cut short.]

      ***************
      Side Notes:
      I've always had a lot of bizarre dreams about Disneyland, but more so when I was a kid than now. This is the first time I've ever had a dream in which I was a Cast Member.
      I know why I had a dream about a carrousel. I had read this article shortly before going to bed. It uses a carrousel as an analogy for the orbit of the sun around the center of the galaxy. Also, the whole “being a princess” theme comes from a fanfic that I have in the works, and the whole “Don't forget to sparkle!” thing is a reference to a thread I've been following on a different discussion forum.
    10. The Best Day at Church Ever

      by , 12-11-2012 at 11:51 PM (The Lab Notebook)
      Awake, Non-lucid dream, [Commentary made while awake]

      [Note: This DJ entry contains discussion of my personal religious beliefs, which are Christian. If, for any reason, you do not want to read about them, please skip over this entry.]

      I'm trying to get from one place to another by bicycle. It's right at or just after sunset on a cloudy, overcast day, so it's somewhat dark outside. I'm bicycling along sidewalks that run between buildings that are each about four or five stories tall and have lots of windows. [It actually bears a strong resemblance to some of the private college campuses I used to walk around when I was a kid.] When I try to turn a corner, a guy on a larger bike passes by really fast right in front of me, and I shout out in surprise and fear. After he has passed by, I turn the corner and go on my way. I'm carrying a large plastic bag hanging from my left handlebar. It is filled with other, crumpled-up plastic bags, as well as a heavy, black, U-shaped metal bike lock.

      I'm in the sacristy [back room where robes and other special equipment are stored] at my old church. I've arrived there to meet up with a bunch of my friends from my old college Christian fellowship, who are all crowded into the room. [I think this might have been the place I was trying to get to on my bike, but I'm not absolutely sure; I don't remember the transition from one dream scene to another. Or they may have been two entirely separate dreams.] We're all there for a special church service in which all of us young adults will be honored. All my friends already have their choir robes on, and I hurry to take mine out of the closet and put it on over my clothes.

      As I'm doing this, everyone starts to file out of the room, because it's time for the service to start. I'm still hunting through the shelves in the back of the closet for my shoes, saying aloud to myself, “I'm not sure if I have black shoes in here....” I came into the room wearing white shoes, which wouldn't go with my dark-purple choir robe.
      [They were the same kind of choir robe I used to wear at the church I attended immediately before my current one.] I find a pair of black, slip-on sandals [a pair I own in real life] on a shelf and start putting on, but I'm already being hurried out the exterior door of the sacristy, along with the rest of the procession of young adults. When we get outside, I cross the sunlit courtyard by shuffling and sliding my feet forward, still working on getting them all the way into the sandals.

      Although this church building is in a different place and has a very different layout than it does in reality, I recognize it as the one I went to as a child. The sacristy door opens onto a courtyard paved with red ceramic tile and enclosed with white walls, and it's a beautiful, sunny day. We walk in a procession along the outside wall of the sanctuary, then turn left and then left again to enter the church through its large, wooden double doors. I'm still finishing up fastening the front of my choir robe as we enter.

      As we enter, there is modern, rock-instrumentation-based worship music playing, the kind we used to have in fellowship meetings. Most of the pews are facing forward, except for the section nearest the front, where they are facing inward toward the center aisle. Beyond those seats is the altar area. The sanctuary is full of people, including my mom, who is sitting in an aisle seat that I pass on my right as I walk up the aisle with the procession. I'm aware that the families of my friends from the fellowship are there, too. We all process up the center aisle and take seats in the center-facing pews.

      The music continues until we are all sitting down. When it ends, one of the leaders of the fellowship starts welcoming everyone to the service and talking about how its purpose is to honor the young adults of the congregation. During this speech, I realize that I accidentally dropped my knitted bag of choir books
      [again, something I had in real life at my previous church] in the aisle, right where my mom is sitting. I stand up and go to retrieve it, but a tall, old black lady beats me to it. She picks it up and brings it back to me.

      The leader who's speaking says that we're going to start things off by playing a team-building game.
      [This was typically how we started off conferences in that fellowship in real life.] I smile; this is going to be fun. I look at the service bulletin and see that just about everything the leader will say is printed on it, like a script. There are even photos of the young adults who are being honored, and a list of the supplies we'll need for the team-building game. As I continue to look through the bulletin, I see that after we play this game, we'll proceed to have a regular church service, the more traditional kind we've always had at this church. I'm also aware that although some of the people in the congregation are from my Episcopal tradition, and others are from my friends' evangelical tradition, absolutely everyone present is not only okay with the idea of having a service that blends elements of both traditions, but is actually happy about it and looking forward to the rest of the service. I am, too. The whole gathering is suffused with a sense of love, peace, joy, and unity.

      -----------------------------------
      Side notes:
      This dream was significant for me because it made me feel better about the past. It made me feel less conflicted and less torn, and gave me hope that reconciliation between those two areas of my experience is possible.
    11. A New Ability: Changing Sizes (Night of December 5-6)

      by , 12-11-2012 at 11:45 PM (The Lab Notebook)
      [This is a catch-up post. This dream took place on the night of December 5-6, 2012.]

      Non-lucid, Semi-lucid, Lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

      I'm at my university, and I have to fill out and turn in a form to get rid of a dorm room that I don't want or need, because I'm living in an apartment. I go into a computer lab to work on it, and the computers have floppy disk drives. When I remember a previous episode in this ongoing plot, I realize that I'm dreaming. [I don't remember that previous episode now, though. I think the lucid part of this dream continued on from this point, but I didn't write down what happened.]

      I wake up, walk into the room where I work, and go to my work computer. As I'm walking across the room, I think, Hmm, am I still dreaming? This sure looks and feels real, and gravity feels normal, but I have a sneaking suspicion... When I get to my work computer, I see an instant-message conversation on the screen, and it's between two fictional characters. Yep. Still dreaming, I think. I start trying to type up a dream journal entry on my work computer, but I find it's very difficult to type in a dream. It's really slow going; it feels like my fingers don't know what to do. [Makes sense - that part of my brain that knows learned skills like typing must not be active when I'm asleep.] After just a few sentences, I lose interest in finishing my dream journal entry.

      I start floating away from my desk. A friend gives me a push to help me along. I go into another area, where there are a bunch of people having some sort of gathering, possibly a picnic
      [I don't really remember now]. I decide I want to try making myself bigger. I crouch down on all fours, close my eyes, and concentrate on expanding the size of my body. At first, I don't think it's working because I don't feel any sensation, but when I open my eyes, I discover that it worked: I'm now huge compared to the DCs.

      I wake up at somebody's house, having spent the night there after a party. I drive myself home, but get lost along the way. While I'm driving, my alarm clock wakes me up for real.

      Updated 12-11-2012 at 11:46 PM by 37356 (incorrect spacing in the title)

      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid , false awakening
    12. 空に飛んでいる夢人隊 (Night of November 20-21)

      by , 12-11-2012 at 11:38 PM (The Lab Notebook)
      [This is a catch-up post. This dream took place on the night of November 20-21, 2012. The title of this dream is in Japanese, and is read "Sora ni Tondeiru Yumebito-Tai." It literally means "Flying in the Sky Dream Person Team (or Corps)." The dream felt a lot like being in an episode of an anime series, so I gave it a title that would be suitable for an anime series.]

      Non-lucid, Lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

      I'm outside somewhere, lying in the warm sun. The sun's rays are making me too hot in my flannel pajamas. I'm wearing dark-colored plaid pajama bottoms [the same ones I'm wearing in real life], and a white flannel pajama top with red roses on it [the same pattern as on a bedspread my mom has at her house].

      I'm in a large department store, filled with racks of cold-weather accessories and other clothes. I'm wandering through the racks by hopping up off the floor, hovering above it for a few seconds as I float forward, and then sinking back down. After several repetitions of this, I think, Hmm, this is longer than I should be able to float like this.
      Oh - that's because I'm dreaming.

      I fly out of the room with the clothes and winter accessories and into a larger room. It's still part of the same store, but it has a higher ceiling and has a skylight. I stop to ground myself in the dream by landing on the ground and touching things with my hands, including some packages of batteries that are hanging up on a rack. It works.

      I join up with a a group of kid DCs that includes Merida from Brave and a curly-haired blond boy. We all set off from the department store together to battle some evil force. We run out of the store and come to a hilltop that overlooks an ocean bay. Some of us, including Merida and myself, jump off the top of the hill and start flying over the bay. I shout “Woohoo!” as I jump off. I notice that some of the others in the group are simply running down the hill, rather than flying.
      [For the first time, it seems perfectly natural to me that some DCs can fly, too, and I don't feel any need to hide the fact that I can fly, as I usually do when I'm around DCs.]

      All of us, those who ran and those who flew, reassemble at our destination, which is a small house on the cliff overlooking the ocean. We realize we're being pursued by some kind of monster that will kill us and eat us. There is a newspaper article about the monster in the house. The kids all seem to be sure that the monsters have found us, that they're coming, and that we're all doomed. For a second, I'm genuinely afraid, but then I remember: Oh, yeah, this is a dream. I know what this most likely means. I roll my eyes and announce to the group: “They aren't really monsters, they're just tasks that I haven't done and that I feel bad about.” [Or words to that effect.] I think about it for a moment and come up with what that task must be - paying a bill [among other things that I don't remember now]. Everyone in the group seems to relax, and no monsters ever actually appear at the house.

      One of the DCs in the group says to another, “See about adopting her
      [meaning me] into the practice.” They are both young men, about 17-19 years old. The second one looks at me and says, “You're [Emiko].... Roboto.” [He used my real-life first name.] I reply, “Yes, that's a name I've used here before. I don't really like it, though.” [Huh? That's definitely not my real-life last name, and I certainly don't remember using it in a dream before. It was a big part of my childhood, though.] I say something about how grateful I am to have been accepted into this group of people, even with my mismatched pajamas. I'm still wearing the same dark pajama pants and light pajama top from the very beginning of the dream, while most of the other people in the group are wearing neat, matching, school-uniform-like outfits. [This isn't surprising; I was an anime fan for a long time, and a lot of the characters in the shows I liked were high school students who wore school uniforms.]

      The group of DCs and I all feel a general sense that that is the end of this adventure, but that there will be more in the future. We start flying off over the landscape, looking back at the buildings where we've just been: the big store with the skylight, and a motel [?]. There is an upbeat, exciting rock song playing in the background. It feels exactly like I'm experiencing the end credits of an anime show.

      I'm now traveling along in some kind of vehicle with the two young men, watching the scenery pass by from a tree-lined road that runs along the crest of a ridge opposite those buildings. I say to them, “Also, your ending theme song kicks ass.”
      [I think the context for this was that they thanked me for sticking with them so long at the end of the adventure, and I replied that of course, I wanted to prolong the experience as long as possible and have as much fun as I could. I don't remember the beginning of the conversation very well, though. The song I heard reminded me a little bit of this one, except it was at a faster tempo.]

      I have a false awakening in the bed I'm actually in [I was sleeping on a futon because I had family in town that week], where I can see my bare legs, before waking up for real.

      ---------------------------
      Side notes:
      THIS DREAM WAS SO COOL!!!! I hadn't had a really long, fun, clear lucid like this in a while before I had this dream. I was so happy to have it!
    13. Rebmevon

      by , 11-16-2012 at 06:26 AM (The Lab Notebook)
      Non-lucid, Lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

      I'm flying through a large, rectangular, exhibit-hall-like space with an entryway connected to one end of it. Every time I make a complete loop through the exhibit hall, out into the entryway, and then back into the exhibit hall again, the scenery and displays in the hall have changed. While I'm flying through the entryway after a couple of iterations of this, I catch on to the fact that I'm dreaming.

      I remember that I need to stabilize and ground myself in the dream, so I will myself to go down. I sink straight down, in an upright position, until I'm standing on the floor. I immediately walk over, reach out, and touch one of the walls, then squat down to touch the carpet. The thought of licking the floor to bring in that sense crosses my mind.
      [I was reading a thread on DV before I went to bed that mentioned engaging all five of your senses in a dream.] I decide not to, but thinking of things you should do in a dream brings to mind the current Task of the Month: spell “November” backwards.

      While still squatting down, I start tracing the shapes of the letters on the carpet with my finger. R...e...b...m...e...v...o...n. I get all the way through it, and feel very proud and pleased with myself. I feel just as alert and self-aware as I do in waking life, but I notice that it's slightly more difficult to keep track of the letters and what order they go in than it would be if I were awake. Then, I suddenly find that I have a ballpoint pen in my hand
      [a plain black Bic pen with a grip, the exact same kind I'd just been using in real life to do my homework for a class]. I take the pen and print “Rebmevon” on the wallpaper on the nearest wall. It's still a little hard to focus on spelling. At first, I write an “e” in place of the last “o,” but then I cross it out and correct it. I write it a second time [I think] because I can, but then I think, Okay, now you're just doing it to be a smartass.

      [There was more, but I only have time to write the part that has to do with the Task of the Month right now.]

      Updated 11-16-2012 at 08:36 PM by 37356 (fixing a color tag)

      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid , memorable , task of the month
    14. A Study in Sleep Paralysis

      by , 09-25-2012 at 05:02 PM (The Lab Notebook)
      Awake/SP, Lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

      I'm in an elaborate, fantasy landscape. I fall over the side of a cliff and start falling down the side of a mountain, which has terraces in it and lots of trees, but the trees are all growing out of the side of the mountain. As I fall, I think, I could expect there to be a soft, grassy field below me for me to land on, and there would be one. I try to do exactly that, but it doesn't work. Eventually, I remember that I can fly, and fly back up to the top of the cliff/mountain.

      [That's all I can remember now of an awesome, detailed, elaborate lucid dream that was remarkably long for my first sleep cycle of the night. I was really, really determined to have a lucid dream last night, and my determination and MILDing worked. I also remember choosing to stay in and prolong the dream at least twice, but I don't remember any more details. I really should have taken a moment to write them down in my paper dream journal after I woke up.]

      [Later, different part of the night.] I feel, more clearly and with more awareness than I ever have before, all my major muscles transitioning into their paralyzed state. After a moment, a dream begins to form. Some Viking-warrior-looking guys who look like they came straight out of a movie by Aardman Animations are standing over me, watching me wake up. We're all in a big wooden hall. The dream is very weak, fuzzy, and indistinct, though, and although I try to focus on it, it fades away before I can get into it fully. This can be partially blamed on the fact that I'm completely fascinated by the experience I've just had, and this novel feeling of being “stuck” in my sleeping body while still being consciously aware.

      Welcome to SP, I think. That wasn't so bad, was it? I lie still and observe the experience. Although I'm conscious, in a way I never am in waking life, of my breathing happening automatically, I feel like I'm not getting enough air. I realize that that's because I have my forearms crossed over my chest so that their dead weight is resting right on top of my ribcage. I can feel my left-hand fingertips touching the skin of my right arm, but I feel removed from the sensation. I hope for another dream to start, but it doesn't. I attempt to visualize a scene, but it's a very halfhearted effort and doesn't go anywhere. Also, I have my head tilted to my right at an awkward angle, which makes me think, I'm going to feel that in the morning. After a few minutes, I get bored and decide to get up and use the restroom. I have no problem getting back to normal wakefulness.


      Side notes:
      I've always been afraid to try WILDing because I'd never experienced sleep paralysis, and I was afraid that I might experience hypnagogic hallucinations or sensations that would frighten me. This was the first time I'd ever really experienced SP. It was cool and weird, but not frightening at all, and I didn't experience any hypnagogic hallucinations. Getting over your fear of something is always nice.
    15. Dogs, Dinners, and Hidden Chronicles

      by , 09-23-2012 at 04:41 PM (The Lab Notebook)
      I adopt a large, black dog from a shelter, and take him home to my apartment. I find that the responsibility of taking care of him is more than I can stand, and I don't enjoy it at all. I feel like a horrible, awful person, but I decide take him back to the place I got him from to ask them to find a different home for him. He's too big for me to pick up and put in my truck by myself, though, so two of my neighbors help me.

      I get back to the shopping center where the shelter is located and walk through it, but by the time I get to the shelter, the dog has wandered off on his own, and I don't know where he is. I was such a lousy owner that I didn't even get a leash for him.


      [This dream stemmed from an ad I heard on the radio yesterday for a kennel that really does find new homes for dogs. By the way, I don't even have a truck in real life, just a car.]

      [Different dream, later in the night.] I'm playing Hidden Chronicles and I notice, for the first time, that the river on the main map continues further up than I had thought, and there are all kinds of buildings on the other side - a whole town for me to explore. There's a sailboat dock across the river from my estate - obviously, you're supposed to get to that part of town by sailing across the river - and a second bridge for me to repair.

      Suddenly, I'm standing among the buildings of the town on the far side of the river. When I turn and look back down the river, I gasp - from this ground-level point of view, looking in this direction, I can see that there's a whole city over there to explore, complete with its own skyline of skyscrapers. I'm really excited to explore it, but I think, Looks like I'm going to keep playing this game for the next couple of years.


      [Different dream.] I'm with my parents, and my mom needs me to translate some text from Japanese into English [or vice versa, I don't remember] for her. She needs it right away, and all I have is my phone, but I plug away at it anyway. We're visiting the home of some friends, and we're sitting down to have dinner with their large family around the light-brown, round table that my parents have in their house.
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