Ezpata's World

I was being dragged through some kind of hall... it was grandiose, and the walls were adorned with a lot of pictures of some pissed off guy. I was immediately lucid. After all, it's not everyday you're dragged down a big hall owned by an even bigger pissed off narcissist. Things were a bit hazy, like I was just waking up or something. I looked up to one of the guys dragging me.

"Oi, big boy. This draggin' shit is giving me a wicked carpet burn, how's about lettin' me walk on my own two legs?"

He then replied with a very thick Russian accent

"You will be dragged all the way. There be no lee-way for traitors." He was pissed about something.

"Look, Ivan, you're probably angry about.... not getting vodka I guess? Russians were always weird to me." He doesn't respond. "Alright then, you must be a sober guy. That means you beat your wife, correct? Or is that your buddy Mikhail over here?" I motion to the other guy dragging me.

"Mikhail", as I called him, was obviously ticked off, but Ivan was still not paying attention.

I sighed. This wasn't helping. I slipped out of my body just so I didn't have to deal with the carpet burn for now. The russkies continued dragging my body until we reached a rather large door. The door opened by itself, which would've been scary if they weren't the same gaudy yellow as the pillars in the hallway. We opened to a large room. I jumped back into my body.

"Finally, a room without yellow. You guys could really use a re-decorator. Some chandeliers, a splash of green. Maybe it wouldn't look like a fuckin' pleasure palace after that."

Ivan then hit me in the stomach with the butt of his rifle.

"Oooh, you're gonna have to do better than that, Ivan. My grandmother could hit harder, and she's dead."

Ivan got pissed, but he didn't do anything else. Then I heard a voice coming from ahead. Another Russian accent.

"Welcome... traitor.", The guy from all the pictures in the hallway then walked out of the darkness. "It seems you didn't manage to keep your lips shut about our business This mea-"

"Oi, Jackass!", I interjected, "Before you go on with the boring speech, can I get some aloe or something for my legs? I got a wicked carpet burn from your rug in the needlessly long hallway."

He was obviously ticked now, making the same pissy expression he did in the pictures in the hallway.

"Silence!", he then got right in my face, "Why did you sell the secrets to the Americans?"

"Dude, first off, what the hell is going on?"

"You!, that's what, 'dude'.", he put a really sarcastic tone on the word "Dude". "You were working with the KGB, and sold secrets to the Americ-".

*Cough*, "Dude, you need a tic tac or something. Now, lemme guess. You're Joseph Stalin? And I was working for you, and I sold secrets?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Now that we're clear on that, how did you find out?"

"A friend of yours dropped by.", he said with a grin, "Abel, could you show yourself?"

Then that rat bastard came out of the shadows as well. (To tell you what he looks like, he was wearing a brown military outfit, he had blue hair with black as coal eyes. We'd met before, in a dream I didn't journal) He was holding a chain or something in his hand.

"Hello, Ez.", he said in that annoyingly harsh voice. Oh, how I loathe him. I wasn't going to let him get to me though.

"Hello, Abel. I see you survived the clusterfuck that was your little Camp."

He twitched, but only for a second. Still, I could tell the little camp incident was still bugging him.

"Oh, I don't care about that anymore.", Liar. "I got this little parting gift at least.", he then pulled the chain, revealing a battered man. Shoulder length brown hair, full beard. Yup, it was Kris. (Kris was a DC in The Camp, I met him when I burned the place down, as he had been wanting to do the same thing for ages. He also talked with a cool Irish accent.)

"Well.", he said, "This is embarrassin'".

"It sure is, you fucker.", I said, jokingly. They tried interrogating us for a while, but torture doesn't exactly work when you just switch off pain. I finally looked over to Kris,

"I'm bored now. I say we get out."

"I'm down.", Kris grabbed a machete they had tried using during the torture thing, and lopped off Mikhail's head. I put my hand up to Ivan, opened it, and blasted him away with an Uber Bolt. Abel tried to slice me with his sword, but Kris blocked him with the machete.

"Get out of 'ere", he said, "And get Stalin!", I chased after Stalin then, through a hallway adorned, again, with the crappy yellow color. A few guys tried getting in the way, but I took care of them with more Uber Bolts. I finally came to an open area.

"Where are ya, russkie? I know you're here!", A hail of machine gun fire blasted me off my feet. Good thing I can take quite a few bullets. I got back up, and Stalin was in a ten foot tall robot, with miniguns for hands. He unleashed another lead wind, but I managed to keep from being hit. I sent a few Uber Bolts his way, but they weren't doing any major damage. His pauldrons popped up to reveal missile launchers. I'm sure you can guess what he did with them. I deflected a few missiles, and sent one flying back at him. It hit his head area, shutting down the robot. I tried to get close to it, but Abel appeared in a blinding flash of light.

"Well," he said, tired from his fight with Kris, "This wasn't a [I]total[/I] failure.". He disappeared in another flash of light, along with the robot and Stalin.

Thinking back on it now, I really wish I knew what he was talking about. I woke up after a reunion with Kris. He didn't know anything either, but next time, we're both going after these guys.