Morning of January 6, 2013. Sunday. In a mostly featureless field, there is a dead tree with sparse branches seen in early evening, apparently just after sunset, and in semi-lucidity. In touching the tree, I ground myself without a focus on the anticipation of vestibular system ambiguity. I am fully in my fictitious dream body for the duration. I vaguely recall previous dreams of living trees reaching out to stroke my face with the tips of their branches, in seemingly expressing love as an essence of nature itself. I notice movements across the bark on the side of the tree, a shifting of kite-shaped patches of golden “skin”, which sometimes feature a singular eye. I notice that part of the tree is breathing, a part of its bark moving out and back in with the same overall size as a person’s abdomen. Eventually, I become aware of a female Buddha looking at me somewhat blankly, perhaps puzzled by my presence. There is a change of awareness and temporality, a “blind spot” of which I do not pay full attention, a very common factor of the dream state when full lucidity is not present. A female Beetlejuice modulates my dream from here, though she is not threatening in any way (as preconscious modulation sometimes is when the need to wake and attend to real needs is greater). For a moment, I consider how serious it seems, even with a link to the spiritual, though I eventually come to terms with how silly the scenario is. I recognize the waking transition as it is rendered as an outdoor wooden staircase (as relating to vestibular system autosymbolism), which does not seem connected to a building. I faithfully use the stairs without slipping or falling (or the staircase changing form or collapsing), noticing the steps are rendered rather well. It all comes down to the usual vestibular system correlation with the personified preconscious (and additionally in this case as the vestibular system personification as the female Beetlejuice accompanying my subconscious self at this point), an extension of RAS mediation, passively leading the way in a liminal space where the religious fantasies wrought by others, and the movie fantasies wrought by others, are ultimately equal. Additional notes on the cause and meaning behind this dream: Way back when I was four years old and vowed to myself to understand and master the dream state, I came to realize that seeing eyes moving in a dream, especially when isolated, is primarily based on liminal awareness of being in REM sleep (though was also influenced from “sleep watching” the “Outer Limits” episode of “Don’t Open Till Doomsday” at age 4). There have been many dreams with this detail. In the eyes being on the tree, the tree in this case, especially in being in the mostly featureless field, represents the static (unmoving) status of my physical body during sleep.
I went to bed around 9 and probably slept within a half hour. I got up once and remembered a dream or two but fell back to sleep. In that dream I remember this thing with Spongebob, Piglet, Winne the Pooh, and a cast from both of those shows. Spongebob stepped out of an invisible house. Maybe Gary was there. I remember seeing Piglet gobble some honey. There was something at the end, maybe about circumcision trauma. Not seeing the trauma itself but reading about it or talking about it. ------------ I fell back to sleep and had more dreams. At first I remember dreaming of going on a website. It needed to be translated. Something about statistics on kinds of beers maybe. Not quite sure. (I don't drink.) Then trying to fall asleep, but in my previous room at previous house. I was setting some kind of timer thing on my cell phone as well as another audio, not sure why. Something about 10, 20 or 30 minutes. I remember getting up and going to the kitchen. In the fridge, there was some food, I took out and ate. It was the kitchen at my previous house, and house I grew up in. Someone on the phone or online was talking about his lucid dreams but it seemed like he only posted dreams once every 2 weeks. I wanted to ask him if he posted dreams only then, or if I actually only did dreaming practices once every 2 weeks, for competition. Then I guess some other stuff happened I'm not sure of or it shifted. Next thing I remember is being on a beach. There was also a forum icon of (C) with a guitar. She had brown hair. It was interesting to actually see her. I wondered why she wanted to put up her photo on her avatar in that setting. Next, I was at a beach. A young woman, pregnant, asked my friend and I if we wanted to talk towards the shore. The ground was dense with cigarette butts. I was even holding a long cancer stick with yellow and white, but trying to throw it away. i hadn't smoked it and I didn't want anyone to think I had. There were black rocks and sand. My friend didn't want to go with her, but I did. So I guess we started walking there. Then it kind of shifted to walking into this dormitory or college house thing. (RK) and some other guys from that house were talking about smoking weed, and offered me some. "No thanks, I've been clean a long time and I want to keep going," I said. It seemed like a tough choice but I was clear on it. They went to smoke more. Something about how I went upstairs. And walked around. I don't know who else was there, maybe (MC). I'm getting a flash back of (DF) in a dream scene but only a "tip of the tongue" thing. Some stuff happened upstairs. Maybe (JA) was there. I remember to go back downstairs, the only option was a really steep drop. It was like a 3-4 inch wide conveyor belt at an 80 degree angle from the ground. Someone easily went down it so I did, too. It worked fine and I was on the ground. I had felt a lot of fear before that. There turned out to be a wooden ladder against the wall. We saw that the orange door had been shredded at the bottom. Kind of like a cat door had been made by shredding the bottom of that door. Uh-oh! Now people might break in. (MC) and others (I think) said that it was okay. They had four people on as security guards all night, with guns. So no one could successfully intrude. There were some boards they considered boarding it up with. I figured, why even let someone have a chance to crawl in like that? But it didn't seem like it would line up right. One of the boards was all water logged and wavy so we threw that to the side. Then there was this thing with an older man cartoon character showing everyone how to heat up a special kind of rifle and launch fire balls. He demonstrated sliding the bolt action (I don't know exactly what kind of gun its called) back and forth repeatedly, which generated friction. Then he rapid fired bullets out and every bullet became a bigger and bigger fire ball. I remember watching and wondering how they did that. The bolt action was circular and went around the whole barrel. Then it showed Master Roshi in the sky, on a cloud, with a halo. There were some other DBZ Style characters in space. One was like Mr. Satan but he had some purple coloring and a halo. He was on a cloud, too. It was more surreal, so my memory is blurry. They were in a blue sky. I remember something about Goku catching two villains and detaining them. Two other villains seemed un-caught. I was thinking to myself what Dragon Ball this must be. "Dragon Ball Cosmic?" And what kind of dragon balls it would be, now that they already did Super. "Cosmic Dragon Balls?" I think that was all I remembered of that part. Then it shifted to where I was watching a family of monsters. They were at a circular dinner table, in a kind of dim room, and they seemed to be sitting to dinner. There were three child monsters and one big adult monster. The child monsters forms varied but they were the same color, kind of a Plankton Green with red stripes usually. The dream showed the 3 child monsters turning their expressions into glares, one by one, at the big adult monster. I forgot how the big adult monster responded. Maybe glared back. Not sure, but it got really tense in the room. I dreamed of trying to put on my grey winter coat to go to school. It was going to be cold out. I had a shoe box with my stuff in it. I thought I'd wear the grey coat all day in the building. But then remembered how much they crank the heat in there, and decided I probably would want to take it off. The last thing I remember is dreaming of being on a phone meeting. I talked about some things as if I was explaining what happened last time, then asked if I could share about my particular trauma. No one seemed to answer. I almost did but held back, not being able to tell what was holding me back, or what I really wanted to say. Then I woke up, and recalled the dream, staying perfectly still a while to think it through. After solidifying it in my head I typed all this out. Now its probably 3 AM so that's 5-6 hours of sleep I got so far. ------------ Another interesting set of dreams. I feel groggier so I hope I get them right. I think the earliest I remembered was being in my room with some other people. A younger guy was asking about how to write songs. I told him that if he really wanted to write like me, he would have to get clean and sober. I told him I write like 20,000 words a day and if I drank alcohol or smoked anything or whatever, I definitely wouldn't. I'm not sure if it helped him. I found myself watching Youtube clips of various things, wondering if I had relapsed on that habit. Then I was like, "No, its just one video, I'm okay." But I felt worried. It was a Spongebob music video. However, I couldn't close it or turn off the volume. I was freaking out, yelling, cursing, wanting this thing to shut off. Also it was around 4AM and I wanted to go back to sleep. Eventually, it shut off. I was hungry so I got my jar of peanuts and put some water in it. I figured the water would make them softer. Then I would brush my teeth after eating them. But I wondered what I was doing, and didn't want all that water to keep me up. The water had peanut-dust floating on the top. Next I went out of my room for something. There are some details I forgot. There were raccoons. I remember a raccoon's tail poking out of a drawer. It was nestled in there. I thought of dogs that would protect us from the raccoons eating all our stuff. Oh, there was one interesting part, not sure when. But I drew an optical illusion thing that could have been waves in and ocean and a sky with clouds, or it could have been a grassy field with trees. I felt happy with the drawing. Maybe I will try to draw it in waking life. So I headed back to my room. Then I went out again to make sure that raccoon wouldn't eat all the clothes in the drawer. Two more raccoons were out. They were very aggressive, and chased me. I ran back to my room, narrowly escaping them. Fear! Once I was back in my room, the dream showed a black background with white lines, drawing of me climbing up the loft bed while raccoons still chased me. But in cartoon form. I feel unsure as to what comes next. Well, I know I was on the computer again. Then I was at this wedding thing. I asked someone to speak. They said they don't like to speak in front of large groups. Their assistant (female) agreed. Someone spoke up front. My friend (MM) had put a website online where he sold snack foods at high prices. He wanted people to buy it from him but it seemed to me that no one would, because it would be so much less money to get it in the store. We talked about how something like a one dollar item might have a higher percent mark-up than a ten thousand dollar item, so selling one dollar items might be more profitable overall. I remember walking through the church, going down stairs backwards. Wondering about all this religious stuff in the church. But afraid to comment that I don't like all the religious stuff, since most people seemed all into it, and they would be against me. I went to the cafeteria thing to get food. There was a metal thing that opened and closed where the dirty dishes went. I put my dirty dishes there. One of the men from the kitchen came to the dish place and saw that hot cocoa was spilling. He took a dirty cup and caught some of it to drink. "Chocolate!" he said. He happened to be Hispanic but I am not being racist, just mentioning the dream detail, for completeness sake! I was thinking of how to get a cup of decaf men's coffee. In my mind there was men's coffee and women's coffee. (A) was talking to someone. I overheard their conversation, but now I don't remember what it was about. Next I remember the wedding almost going to start. The actual ceremony, not just speakers. I went out to a car and there didn't seem to be a drivers side door. Then I found it. It was a little sports car but I could stand up inside it when i went in. I put something on the back dashboard thing by the back window, maybe a mirror. It seemed to go far back. I was changing my shirt and putting on a suit. Some older people walked by on the way to the wedding and saw me changing but I didn't care. There was something about how (A) married someone but something was different about his wife's reproductive system. So there was some difficulty having children. However it showed three kids in a driveway, near some cars, playing. So I'm not sure what it was saying. I was cognizant of having eaten. So I couldn't put on my retainer without brushing my teeth. However I didn't want to be late to the wedding for brushing my teeth, so I thought that I would just go without my retainer. But I kind of wanted to be seen with it in, not without, so I was torn. How did the rest of that go? I think that was it. Now its 5:16 AM so I must have slept from 3:30 to 4:30, maybe a little longer, making me at 6-7 hours of sleep. This is perfect timing and its likely I will get one more sleep cycle. ------------ Cool! I got one more sleep cycle. However, my dream recall was not as thorough. I remember dreaming of a guy with a grey/silver sports car. Something about the car caused back pain or something like that. He wanted help with it. I drove something else. I remember pulling through a gas station, on the right hand side. making a left onto a road and then a right back onto the road I was on. Not to evade a light. Not sure why. I remember still seeing the silver/grey sports car again. We got to the woods and the road ended. Also we were walking but I think the cars just dissappeared, we didn't get out of them. As we walked through the woods, I noticed the pavement come to an end. Some guy in the woods might have been aggressive toward us or something I'm not sure. Next thing I remember is being in front of a TV in my Nana's living room. I remember something was playing on the TV or on my laptop that was kind of disturbing, something I didn't want to see. However, I closed my eyes, and still saw it. I had a rack with Pokemon card packs in it and other things. Something about playing catch. A cartoonish thing. I had taken one Pokemon card pack, opened it, and stuffed 3-4 more unopened packs in it, as a surprise to someone. It was noticably thicker though. A reddish and bluish color. There was another kind of pack on the rack. The rack was clear plastic with compartments. In another part I was supposed to move my stuff out of the room in my Nana's house. It was Saturday, Sunday, Monday. They expected me to do it by Sunday but I said it could wait, since I don't have to work Monday. In the last scene I remember, my sister had got home from a field trip. Instead of going straight back to school, my parents wanted her to stay home for a debriefing. So she could process the trip before being put right back into more activity. I remember her writing on paper, each line at first, then skipping lines. I woke up from that and kind of drew a blank. I managed to latch on to a few details but I think there was more. It's okay. I got alot of dreams tonight. I must have woke up from that at 6:30-6:40 so it makes another hour of sleep, putting me at 7-8 in total again. I guess that's alright. ------------ Another thing I did was 3,279 words of waking life recall. As thorough as possible. If I can keep up with it I want to see if that boosts my dream recall word count.
Morning of January 3, 2017. Tuesday. In my dream, I am living in an unknown residence. I am only vaguely aware of my family as they are now. I am in a cold indoor environment in the wintertime (even though it is very warm in real life). To my right is a large hot water heater of an unrealistic design and which nearly reaches the ceiling. There is also a furnacelike feature near the top. I have an object that resembles a circuit board. A few wires are sticking out. By rubbing two wires together I can start a fire and make the room warmer. There is a ramp along the wall. After several attempts to get a fire going, a small fire finally starts. The entire circuit board is soon ablaze. I am enjoying it until I notice a couple of additional flames higher up that may or may not have come from my activity with the circuit board. There is an unfamiliar young male present at one point. He points out that the hot water tank is now releasing sizzling water. I unplug the hot water tank and the water stops squirting from various areas of the tank, especially near the top. I grab a white plastic bucket and fill it with water from the faucet. I fling it upwards but see that I will have to climb up to make sure all the flames are doused. When I get to the top near the ceiling I notice the top of the wall opens into another room. It is like an attic with a low ceiling. An older woman (of perhaps sixty) is sitting close to my side and an unknown young girl is sitting on a couch across the room and reading a book. The fire seems to be going out. I apologize to the unknown female but she does not seem angry or annoyed. Looking down at a table in the implied doorway of this unlikely room (though I think it is some sort of open vent that is not meant to serve as a door), I see a Gold Key “Star Trek” comic book (which is a real-life cover of a comic book I have not had in years). The top of the cover’s image is nearest me so is upside-down. There seem to be a couple of burn marks on it and it also appears mostly in grays. I say, “Oh, I have this comic book,” and the woman says, “I know, I gave it to you”. This puzzles me at first, but I do not say anything else about the comic book. “I had my gloves sitting there,” she says, indicating that she had a pair of gloves sitting on the “Star Trek” comic book. She seems to be implying that the fire had burned them up completely. I tell her that it is unlikely as there were only a few small flames which had gone out quickly. I slowly wake while wondering what else to say. Dream state and waking process autosymbolism fully explained here: Lucid dreams are not the same as controlled dreams. You can be lucid and not in control of either the dream environment or the dream body. You can direct and modulate the dream without lucidity. Dream control is a separate state than maintaining self-awareness in the dream. Lucid dreaming is not a “skill” (and for me has always been a natural state since earliest memory). Neither is dream control, though it does become fundamental upon understanding dream state autosymbolism and how RAS (reticular activating system) mediation works. My dynamic and transient subconscious self in non-lucidity, because of isolation from both my unconscious mind and my conscious self, does not usually possess viable memory of waking life or reasoning skills. The rendering of the hot water heater is a thread of the liminal awareness of my physical body being too warm in my real environment, and is rendered to my dream self’s right as I sleep on my left side (my right more liminally aware of the real environment as a result). The cool fictitious environment is a result of a liminal thread of the conscious desire to be cooler. Additionally, water is autosymbolism for the depth and dynamics of sleep. Liminal dream state awareness is inherent (a liminal realization of being in the dream state, yet without being lucid; a result of synaptic OR gating; my conscious self being aware I am dreaming while my dream self is not) and liminal dream control (the circuit board as autosymbolism for RAS mediation). Synaptic gating is triggered from the liminal awareness that water is sleep and fire is waking (achieving consciousness). However, I non-lucidly sustain and control my dream at this point before the preconscious factor renders a young male to caution me on modulating my dream due to my real-life environment being too warm. (This is a “primitive” but very important biological mechanism, just as the autosymbolic call to wake and use the toilet is). “I unplug the hot water tank”. I moderate my intent of dream state sustainment and reinduction, though I still have a tentative desire to sustain my dream by throwing water from a bucket. I decide to enter the waking space willingly. I liminally seek out the RAS bulwark and find the liminal space divider (that otherwise separates the dream self identity from the conscious self identity). This is rendered as the unusual opening into what is implied to be an attic and is a form of sustained doorway waking autosymbolism. The attic relates to higher thinking skills (and also has an association with the thalamus in contrast to RAS) that are only viable when awake. RAS personification (as the old woman) is rendered. The usual vestibular system autosymbolism becomes the focus but is rendered in static form as a “Star Trek” comic book cover, which additionally signifies the sustainment of the liminal space transition and the lessening of waking start anticipation (which is typically experienced as the falling sensation of which is solely biological). Additionally, I am in the timeless transpersonal stage where it could be said that the old woman and young girl are both versions of my wife Zsuzsanna on opposite sides of the timeline. Personified RAS (transforming into this dream’s emergent consciousness factor) talks about her gloves having been on the comic book. (The fire had gone out, as the waking alert factor is no longer needed.) This is subtle autosymbolism of the knowledge of dream state modulation, as hands and gloves represent potential control of the dream state. There is also the implication of the control of vestibular system dynamics in this case as evidenced by the gloves being atop the static flight symbol imagery. Gloves additionally augment the illusion of physicality. (The dream self does not have a real physical body, and a practice that some lucid dreamers utilize is looking at their hands as a “reality check” to see if they look unusual or have the wrong number of fingers.)
Music has never really played that big a role in my dreams, however there was this one time where all of a sudden my home town began to morph into a cityscape on the banks of an unnamed river, avant-garde buildings appearing, towering over me, while this song played.
Thursday... I was probably asleep by 9 or 930. Off comp around 830, pretty exhausted. -------- I got up once and remembered two dream fragments very vaguely. I think one was a forum thread but I forgot what forum. The other seems more involved but I lost them. Fell back asleep quickly. ------------ The next round of dreams I remembered in more detail. In the beginning, there was a big scene with Vegeta fighting Dabura. Dabura was huge, like his head was 5 times as tall as Vegeta. I thought it was waking life and a Youtube Clip. It scared me. I wanted to not look. However there were moments when Vegeta pummeled Dabura. I wanted to loop those to feel more hopeful, even though Vegeta seemed to lose. I think there were more such moments. Something intense happened to the planet. Not sure. I remember trees in that scene. I remember being in a food store. Something with one or two Oriental or Hispanic people. Maybe something with a dog. Not sure. Now my memory gets clearer. I was in a cafeteria room thing. (G), my first girlfriend from when I was about 14, was there. She was dating someone else. We were in a cafeteria with circular tables. I got dessert and sat with (G). Now we were together and the guy she was with was gone. Something about eating the dessert. A little is vague here. I got up to get something else we wanted. Walking to the front, I knocked over the projector rollout screens twice. People seemed mad at me. The thumb tacks went rolling on the floor. People were like, "You'll never find those push pins." But I easily found them. I attributed my ocular focus to something but I forgot what. Then I went outside. I guess I ran one way or maybe just ended up in a parking lot. Not sure. There was something about how it had been snowing. I only had my sneakers, but I was gonna have to run accross the football field to get something, before it was too late. So I didn't want my sneakers to have to be all wet but they would. However it became warm without me noticing. I clearly remember being in a parking lot and hearing (SD) and (JV) talking about dating. As I heard them talk, I started running through the parking lot, back to the building down the road. I ran between some parked cars. Other cars were pulling in. I looked to the window for smoke, but no one was. 'Wow, lucky day,' I thought. Running speed was good. In the dream context, I was thinking of how I hadn't lifted heavy in a week, and this would make me run much faster. I started to jump about 5 feet with one leg. 'Wow,' I thought. 'What a good way of running. I should always run like this.' Not realizing it was a dream. There was a field to my left as I approached the building. I had to cross it to go in. So I went in there. There were four Japanese women with glowing auras. They had a disc they would play catch with, without touching the disc. They floated above it and rotated it underneath them, between their ankles, then above their head, then passed it. The aura was golden and the disc was reddish. It was dark out. I joined right in, feeling confident that I could do it too. Without realizing it was a dream, I levitated and telekenetically passed the disc back to them. At some point I fumbled a little, and the woman on the left laughed. I wasn't too offended or anything, but I wished they would have noticed the skill I did spontaneously demonstrate, instead of kind of judging me. What do they expect? I've never done it before. I ran accross the field some more and back into the school. Someone wanted red volley balls. I got into the gymnasium and there was a whole big hammock (like a 50 by 50 hammock) covered in red volley balls. Maybe it was superhumanly high up. However I was able to knock some down. So someone played with a red volley ball. At some point my friend (E) turned out to be there. Apparently he had been there all along because I was his ride home. It was getting late as I was managing time with (G), time with another woman, a class thing, and getting my stuff to the car. "You could do my bidding," I suggested to (E). "I don't want to do your bidding," he replied. He had assumed I was doing something highly illegal. So I just explained how I needed him to keep (G) company while I got to my class and picked up my stuff. It was late, too, perhaps approaching midnight. He understood that and agreed, since it would speed things up, for him to get home. He was wearing grey, too. I thought (E) and (G) might like each other and that was no problem. With them there in the cafeteria, and (G) not alone any more, I went up to the class. At the same time, I think that (E) and (G) came upstairs and joined us. I felt estranged from (G) and she gravitated towards some of her friends. One of her friends had blonde hair. Then as a group I think we all walked up stairs. I remember sprinting up stairs at least once, maybe multiple times. In a big hurry, very overwhelmed. We got to the upper class room and there was a counselor. It was like group therapy. However, all 6 to 10 people wrote every word the therapist said, for legal reasons. I saw some and it looked like inner child writing, but people were using their right hand. However my dream had still rendered it as inner child writing, which many times it renders handwriting as. There was a form handed out with some boxes for things like SSN and all that. I either took one for later or left it. Sorry this part is a little jumbled. I had to go downstairs and back up. I had a key to get back into the building. It got later and (E) and (G) had to wait more. Eventually I ran back up to the class room with (E) to get what I'd left there. Wanted to take a storage bin but they were all full. So I just got everything in my arms. It was very chaotic. I hadn't filled out the form thing, so I needed to take another to do while I was away. I got really mad when there didn't seem to be another. I began to curse and fume. Then with (E) there, I kinda caught myself. "Sorry, (E). I was just getting angry. I'm trying to work on that." I didn't curse and fume as much any more, and found a folded up form I could take. It was folded up into a square thing. Then we went back downstairs. I forgot what else happened with (E) and (G). I remember seeing the blue bin in the therapist's office with papers sideways in it. Maybe something happened at the end, or maybe it just faded out. I had another mini dream thing where there was concern for some water blasts going accross the land. It showed these two streams of water like a Hydro Pump shooting accross some land. People were concerned that it was bad for the Earth. However, it was not man made, but a natural phenomenon. I think that was it, for that part of the dream. Cool! So I got these down. Kind of sad about the first round of dreams. I didn't recall much anyway but I'll keep my Voice Recorder running just for those small tid bits that I wouldn't want to go through all the trouble of opening up the computer for. I'm happy about this dream. Wow! Now, it's 4:14 AM. So I must have slept until about 3:15. 9, to probably 1, up a little, then 3:15, so, 6 to 7 hours of sleep. I'll probably manage to get one or two more sleep cycles... Hopefully two. ------------ Okay, so now, its 5:56. It took a while to sleep so I must have only slept 30-45 minutes. So now I'm at 7-8 hours, closer to 7. I might have forgot some earlier parts. My memory of it starts with being at my Nana's. Some stuff happened with my Aunt C, Uncle C, Nana, maybe Dad. Not sure. I might have woke up a moment, recalled, something, and fell back asleep. Maybe, maybe not. I remember being in my Nana's drive way and there were some cars there and some plants. I ducked under some plants to escape something and was afraid the plants would make me itchy. Examining them, I saw they probably weren't poison ivy. But still worried. After a computer part, I was in a room with couches. I was one of 8 to 12 actors there, being prepared for a movie. A young kid came and sat next to me. I felt a warmth but he hadn't touched me. I think it made me get lucid or I got lucid shortly after. There was one guy there who was hung over and being abusive. Really not in a good place. bags under his eyes and such. He was especially abusive toward a darker haired guy there. I guess everyone else ignored it. I forgot what else happened, maybe the director was saying some stuff. I tend to hone in on whose being abusive due to childhood. So then everyone seemed to dissappear, and I was definitely lucid. I think one woman was in the room. I felt overwhelmed, like I had been dreaming forever. I have these square wall mirrors from Target. They have no frame, just like 12' by 12' squares. There was one in the same shape but gold, and another green one, both still reflective. The gold one seemed to call out to me, 'Come and pick me up!' But it was more of a feeling. I went over and picked it up. It had a yellow square character on there and a grey square it was on top of. The grey square was just an outline of a square. There were some words like "Im Ib Il" but I don't remember them now. I tried to read them out loud, and managed to pronounce them. I looked at myself in the mirror, crying out. "I have to remember all this!!!" Just feeling overwhelmed by how much there was to remember. I guess my dream-state-self has learned that after many dreams which seem so vivid and memorable, I wake up drawing several blanks on key parts. There is alot of sadness there but we are continuing to make progress on bridging the worlds. Eventually I put the mirror down and noticed the green one. I looked around, being lucid. There was a young person on a computer. I went and sat near them. They were looking up things and I saw words on the screen. They seemed nervous. I wasn't sure what to say. I had sat on their left side. There was a woman at a computer accross the room. I went to see what she was doing. Not really thinking of wanting to fly or eat stuff or any of those possibilities, just being more social I guess. The woman was doing meetup groups. Thoughts of more things to ask her came to mind, as if I had the chance to do the "talk to your subconscious mind in a dream" thing. However, the dream ended. False awakening! The dream ended but it was a false awakening. I had to go to the bathroom but didn't want to!!! I just wanted to write my dream. One woman in the room was playing some hip hop song which said "I want my life back" and other parts. In a male voice. My dream journal chair was as it was. My pillows had blue pillow cases and I was gonna have to arrange them. I got up to use the restroom anyway. There were pots and pans around that I tried to pee in, to save time. But the bathroom was right there, so I went. The lights were on. That could be a dream sign. But I didn't get lucid. The toilet was tiny, like one gallon. I started to fill it up. It was very yellow in color which usually isn't in waking life, more clear. After trying a metal stove pot on the side that was already almost full too, I heard the lyric "I want my life back" and realized I was gonna need to ask these people to turn that off for me to dream journal. I went back out there and I think I tried setting up the chair. The dream details spun in my head and I was trying to hold them. I was relieved when I had an actual physical awakening because all the dream details weren't delayed. I was able to slowly collect them back. Lately when I try to recall dreams, I notice there are other competing thoughts. There usually were, to some extent, but I had an easier time focusing back on the dream. This is no surprise the other thoughts come up stronger, because I am more active in some other areas of my waking life. However, I wish I could be totally, 100% focused on my dream recall at those times, with nothing else "in my way". So I will keep practicing that. In 2022 I will have 10 yrs of dream recall so I will be even stronger then. Now its 6:28. I doubt I will get back to sleep. 7-8 hours is like minimum for me. I'll try to lay back down. ------------ Started the day.
Created Friday 18 May 2018 Got various things, but only fragments of such. Scrap Group 1 At a mall with family. We were going out to eat, I believe. In my backyard. A menace is there (a wild animal, or a mischievous kid?). I dealt with this by humiliating the interloper, or even assaulting them. Soon, a pale woman in a spring dress and sandals starts yelling at me from the other side of the fence, demanding that I explain myself face to face. I claimed I'd get there immediately. And technically, I did, only, by the time I was there, I'd shrunken myself to bug-size. I tried sneaking by, keeping cover beneath the grass. Yet, somehow, the woman noticed. She gave chase, trying her darndest to catch me, and, when that failed, squish me. At the highway with family, driving during a clear day. An unknown Asian guy, a supposed acquaintance, was there as well. Later, the vehicle chugs, then comes to a halt. In lieu of getting assistance, the acquaintance and myself towed the entire vehicle through brute strength (with everyone else still inside), dragging/pushing it around in a complete sprint. At times, we even lifted it, which became necessary when we (incredibly) hauled it down some stairs in a parking garage. We also jumped over some ponds in a nearby marsh, only barely making the leap each time. The Asian guy seemed to be indefatigable. I, on the other hand, had to take a breather every now and then, much to his chagrin. At the driveway. A big gathering was occurring there. Noticed my brother had similar hair to myself.
Updated 05-19-2018 at 01:36 AM by 89930 (Commas in title)
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