• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views

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    1. 2020-09-29 LDLD #256 girl at party, tunnel/stormtrooper, gathering, sleepless night

      by , 09-29-2020 at 10:52 AM
      bedtime, ~10:15pm, yay! finally!
      g/f (reading in bed on her phone) woke me mistakenly with sound on phone, boo, this put me off for the whole night. boooo!!!!
      around midnight, fell asleep again?
      2am woke
      awake until 7am!!!!! Up out of bed sitting in other room from 5-6am or so
      Felt like my ability to fall asleep was completely broken. I felt the "jerk" of approaching sleep many times but each time I jerked awake. I think this is hyper-alertness from a lot of day work and strong intent. It felt like the time I tried to WILD for 5 nights in a row and eventually lost the ability to fall asleep, with that same sensation of approaching sleep causing an "AHA! DREAM approaching!" reaction, preventing sleep.

      + girl at party, young for me, but I'm close with her, look at her face closely, odd-ish face, not exactly attractive, but I think I'd kiss her. Then she goes around to my back and hugs me from the back, and whispers into my left ear, "I like you....". I answer, "I like you too!" Her father (?) is in the room so I'm inhibited. She's in front of me again and I place my hands on her torso, feel her ribs, she seems a bit scrawny & overly thin.

      + LD #256 In a large, high-ceilinged, dimly lit, white room (more like an empty building with white walls), I'm lookin over my shoulder to the wall to the left of me, I quickly sense dreaming/dream location, not entirely sure yet, but I get up on top of the low solid white wall (it's like stucco) in front of me (like I'm in a loft or higher area above a lower area in front of me) I feel light and "feel like I can fly" so I lean forwards and glide ahead and to the right, and knew I was dreaming. fly through series of crystal-cave like narrow tunnels (little more than body width in diameter) that keep extending into the distance. Fly through areas that keep extending 3-4 times. The visuals are dark gray-scale coloring. lucidity fairly high. play with colors, I declare the "next area will be green" and colors appear in the distance (blue/green). Visuals fade, I expect them to return, and they quickly do, see something in the distance, and approach an area like in a Star Wars game, a section of dark corridor in front of me opening into a small round-ish brightly lit room with equipment, an automated turret or other machinery on the ceiling, that becomes a droid or a stormtrooper as I approach. I pull my lightsaber from my belt (always works! It's always there) and ignite it, get a good solid lightsaber sound, but no visuals [as always]. I will it to be solid and bright, I say or think "be BRIGHTER!" "be BRIGHTER" several times and I get a weak transparent green cylinder to appear. The robot/ trooper approaches, and I wave the lightsaber about to attack, as if I'm slicing it, but it's like a flashlight, no inertia or weight, and I think it's not doing anything. I'm past the trooper and I'm inspecting the surroundings, very detailed and bright, numerous objects are lying about, I move on through this room into an adjoining room, where 3-4 people are sitting / reclining on low chairs or chaise lounges. Some are female and I get the idea for "a bit of fun" (but I want to keep it short and quickly move on, to avoid waking). Visuals are very clear and crisp.
      Spoiler for light sexy-time:
      and I wake up.

      + [vivid, mostly forgotten due to abrupt awakening] another gathering, fairly long, party book, photos & sheets printed, cousin?
      lucid , memorable
    2. 2020-09-28 one dream, quickly forgotten

      by , 09-28-2020 at 07:31 AM
      bed-time: around midnight
      final out of bed: 8:50
      movie before bed
      ice cream, apple-cake, no alcohol
      200mg L-theanine before bed (maybe don't take this any more? Seemed to really wreck dream recall)

      around 06:00

      + vague impressions only. Elevator? DD from college house? Scraping little beans on the ground while talking to/thinking about Suz.Bu.? It was a fairly active dream and fairly long, but it faded really quickly.
    3. 2020-09-27 distant hills, go-kart, escape, video game scenes

      by , 09-27-2020 at 09:19 AM
      1/2 of a 100mg B6 at bedtime. Probably a bad idea for sleep.

      bedtime, ~00:00


      + with guy moving towards mountains. The mountains are in the distance and are our destination (or our path leads through them). I can see (vaguely) the rising foothills ahead. Unsure of the path, other than we need to go through/via the mountains. We get to a street where there are people (Chinese tourists?) the street is straight and gets steep quickly.

      + riding with Jr. High best friend DD on a city street in a go-cart-like car. I'm concerned about my hand/legs hanging out the side wacking in to a parked car as we whiz by. I have a piece of trash that I need to throw away but I don't want to throw it just anywhere, I want to make sure there's a garbage can where I can be sure of getting it in.

      + I'm planning an escape, I'm preparing a bug-out pack, I gather my wallet, and a pile of apples. I'm going to exit the country? In a room of a building (bedroom?) I have an accomplice who is helping me prepare. I manage to avoid detection from the large groups of assailants who are pursuing me, I'm not sure how they don't see me. I get away, to the coast, and sail away at night.

      up 5am, 6am still can't sleep, out of bed, 1-1.5 hours, back to bed, long to sleep, start seeing some images and get excited about a WILD possibility, get too alert, eventually fall asleep

      + playing RPG video game. I find a big pile of treasure, I see the list of items on the screen. These are very powerful items. I type the "l" command to look at the area and get the list again. They look to be permanent power-ups at first, and there items that suit particular members of the party. I specifically note one for the thief, there is a question of whether it is better than what he already has. Then I realize that the effects of the objects are temporary, I see a "time reamining" meter on one of the boosts, and it only has one bar left (out of 4/5), so that means that whoever finds this has to hurry and get about having more encounters to get the benefits of the boost.

      Then I'm seeing a sort of overhead map of the world. There is a mixture of text and image/graphics. It is a world that people can build on to themselves, adding entrypoints for quests. I see strange beasts, mixtures of things like trees with animal feet, emerge from a portal. A big group of them are emerging and dancing/moving around. Then there is singing, like it's a giant flash mob of these fantasy game creatures.
    4. 2020-09-26 mini-vampire girl, bathtub, infiltrating the mob

      by , 09-26-2020 at 10:06 AM
      Light recall, probably too much wine, too late bed-time, too much sugar before bed....oof!
      Moderately upsetting tiff with g/f really threw off my whole attitude before bed time, colored the whole night negatively.


      + I'm hanging out (lying on something?) with a little mini-vampire girl. She is doll-sized (cat-sized?), I feel a lot of affection towards her. I let her bit my finger. The pain is sharp, her teeth are REALLY sharp. She has a cat's teeth: two prominent fangs, and a row of tiny sharp little short teeth between them. I look at my finger, and there is a prominent spot of blood welling up from the bite. I let her drink. We're not supposed to do this, feeding our vampires is not allowed I recall. I think this means I will become a vampire. The scene changes and 3-4 guys who are all wearing black and white mime-style makeup on their faces are walking about outside.

      + (continuation?) we're entering/infiltrating a school. It's a multi-story building, fairly tall, lockers are on the walls, and we're climbing up scaffolding (which is falling as we climb?) to get to the classrooms on the top floors.

      + In an apartment, multi-level layout, I get into a fairly large tile bathtub full of hot water and sink down in until just my head is left above the water. I feel myself floating in the water and it is a luxurious feeling. A guy who's there (Larry from high school) also gets in the tub?


      + (dozing dream) we're infiltrating a mob spot, the entrance is in a building down a flight of stairs below street level. There is a watch guy inside? A mob guy on the stairs (muscle-y) sees us and goes up the stairs to notify the rest of the gangsters that we're there.
    5. 2020-09-25 restful night, fair bit of dreaming, but little recall

      by , 09-25-2020 at 12:41 PM
      Caught up on sleep.

      Bedtime -- 00:00, out of bed: 09:30, most of that I think was spent sleeping!

      + .... I've given my car keys to somebody, and now how am I going to use my car?

      + ... speaking with the construction foreman about lack of progress, asking him why things are going so slowly
    6. 2020-09-24 bad sleep, 3 very obvious and ignored dream scenes: lost car, g/f shorter, wasp nest

      by , 09-24-2020 at 09:49 AM
      terrible sleep, didn't sleep most of the night. shocking event at 3.5 hrs waking kept me up. didn't get back to bed/sleep until 7.5 hours.

      + can't find my car, I'm with (g/f L?), it's dark outside, in the driveway of some place like a hotel where the car can't be left, maybe it's been towed and that's why I can't fine it? I'm looking at the cars and none of them are right. Some are very small, size of child's toy car that they can sit and ride in. The color I'm looking for is wine/brown (saw a WL car that color yesterday), the one that keeps presenting itself is partly silver? Keep walking around, looking for my car. Get in one eventually, but it's so small, go-cart sized, no roof, and is moved about by rolling your hands over rollers on each side of the door, the "car" is just one person wide.

      + indoors, in a store, my g/f L has put on an old-time colorful summer dress that is really beautiful, bright blues, some reds, but it makes her 1-2 feet shorter, and I notice this and mention it

      + I discover a hive of wasps in my CH bathroom, and I'm swatting at them with a towel (knowing this is probably a bad idea), back out of the room closing the door, continue to swat at the ones that made it out with me, get a good look at one, it's like a long thing wax pepper, a weak yellowy color with a long dark stinger, I see its head and I think I'll just squish it's head and quickly kill it, but it flies at my neck, lands, and proceeds to sting me, I anticipate the pain and jerk away, and this jerks me awake in bed

      + (f) around a table people are sitting, and someone says "jui jitsu is for <xxxx>"
    7. 2020-09-23 wife, in laws, chess, paving area with nude ladies, balloon, breath awareness

      by , 09-23-2020 at 12:04 PM
      + in bed with [deceased] wife E, she sits up, facing me, I tell her in her native language "I miss you ... I missed you" over and over. I'm rubbing her left leg with my right hand while I say this She sits up, I look at her, she is young and beautiful, really radiant, her black hair super deep shiny black. I examine her face closely, her eyes, it seems to be her, I get a close up on one of her eyes, then we're lying in bed togther I'm holding her close, I'm on my right side, she's shaking uncontrollably and very strongly, she calls (or she just comes in) her mom who comes in to try to calm her down

      + talk to wife E's [deceased] parents in their room through a screen door on a porch [I'm outside], they're lying on the bed, father B asks me where I've been all day (in foreigng lang?) I answer [in foreign lang] I've been doing my "doings". he's lying on his stomach [watching a TV?] with his head on the foot of the bed and his feet back towards the head. He's closer to the door to me. Then there's suddenly a young woman sitting in a chair close to me betweed bed and outer wall of room, her name is something like Nina, she says something, and pulls up her shirt with two hands cross-wise revealing her tan colored bra and her light skin, holding it up for a second then putting it back down and I say "Well, NOW you have my attention!"

      + picking up son S2 (young) at kindergarten, ask how was his day, he answers "really great!" and crawls on the floor, has no shirt(?) and has water dripping from an armpit(?), he tells me how he's been playing (shooting spit wads?) all day with this friend, I think what kind of school is this, and how I need to be reading to my kids at night, this will teach them to read

      + riding on back of car facing backwards driving through city streets inflating a very long (red or blue) balloon, I'm using my breath and blowing hard to do it [first breath awareness!]. It's getting longer and longer, there 's a guy following me who's also blowing a balloon (the other color, blue or red) that's getting longer, but mine is longer. I'm blowing up mine towards him, and he's blowing up his towards me. Then the balloon turns to the side (perpendicular to the direction of travel) and pops and I'm thinking about how the material might get inbetween the cars [of the train?] and gum up the machinery.

      + walk into neighbor's yard, observe differences [false], they've paved it to remove sand/gravel. The paving paths are made up of paving stones and bricks of different colors, mostly brick red/brown. It looks neat in the yard, I look close up and see that they have nonetheless not removed all of the sand, there is sand in between gaps in the paved areas.
      but I see they didn't get it all, it's very ruffled and textured and I think this means it will be nearly impossible to sweep or keep clean, new people move in, someone's (new lady owner?) on the 2nd floor, then on the ground floor are a lot of young women, one of them is in her room, which is openly visible (no walls?) getting undressed, they are taking showers, a view into a kitchen with more young women, lots of nudity upper and lower body, I'm looking on with interest as I walk through the scene.

      + thinking how I'm going to meet my wife E at the airport, the intl flights from [country] usually arrive around 12pm or 1pm, and I left my [local make La. Lar.] car at the long-term parking lot at the airport. I look through several keychains and the piles of keys there, look closely at one of them, and stuff them all into my pocket

      + playing a chess position, thinking about possible pawn push discovered attacks on my king, think my king is much less safe, and that king safety is all about whether the opponent's pieces can successfully mount an attack. I see the pieces on an overhead representation of the board, then I see letters instead of piece figures on the board, then I'm at an outdoor professional chess tournament, one player makes a move, then going to examine a huge computer screen showing the analysis for the move he just made, lots of moving video on the screen of pieces shuffling while he's watching it, and I'm wondering how he could be looking at the analysis while the game is still in play because it will give him a good next move. One player loses, there is a close - up of his solumn face (beard?), he gathers his things and goes without congratulating his opponent. [just like a scene at the end of a tennis match in a stadium]

      later after WBTB

      + [DO] overhead view of toy-scale race-track, a testing ground for medium sized (trucks / toy trains?). Sound effects of racing engines. After one train makes a circuit, the engineers get busy making modifications to the track course and they start runing a different trian/truck

      + with two guys, we want to (test out?) some sort of large vehicle (train, tractor?) in some sort of testing/maintenance station, but a locamotive whch is right in front of us pulls in to the station right in front of us, and puts on its right turn signal to indicate that it will be staying a while. we go talk to the station attendants and we determine the price of getting out vehicle outfitted to use the station, like $400. My companions indicate they want to come back tomorrow. Go out into street and I try to blow to inflate a (bicycle?) tire? with my mouth.
    8. 2020-09-22 tons of scenes, something remembered of most

      by , 09-22-2020 at 09:00 AM
      bedtime 23:15-30?
      final waking: 09:00?
      out of bed: 09:20
      wine at dinner
      watched some video before bed

      first waking 01:50?
      didn't look at clock for intermediate wakings
      waking 05:50
      some trouble getting back to sleep -- performed TMI meditation prep steps (motivation, golals, expectations, diligence, distractions, posture) and relaxed and fell asleep eventually

      + Son S2 taunts guy on bike right to left girl in middle, guy gets mad chases S2 left to right, I go there. He's hitting S2 with some large sack. I'm trying to defuse some contraption with live 220V thick wires, I take one wire out and am trying to put it carefully to the side, I'm concerned about being electrocuted. Later we're riding in the back of a vehicle on a highway, the back is open and I'm fumbling with a bag, and I see my favorite blue&yellow (University) shorts fall aout onto the road, they're gone and I can't get them back

      + walk by the windows of an indoor facility, I think it's early morning, there are a number of people inside, point at guy "you've been here all night!?" looks grizzled. There are 3 service windows, as I approach the left one the man there closes it, I get upset and complain that he did this just as I approached, he asks me what I want to do, and I'm surprised, I don't know at first! I "remember" that I want to send three things/letters that I'm holding in my hand, I look at them and try to decide what they are.

      + pizza restaurant, earlier, we're all glad that they're opening a ("Pizza Hut?" "Pizza World?") restaurant right across the street from us, I'm thinking "we can drop in there any time we want for a fresh slice!". Then I'm thinking "I (we?) could become the (manager? owner?) of this place. <discontinuity, more dream content> I'm back again at the pizza place, this time on the inside of the complex in the hallway, at first it appears like there's only counter service, but I eventually see some inside high table/counter seating. I think what I want, at first I think sausage, but then I decide to ask for Pepperoni with extra cheese.


      + weird vending machine: I want to buy something, put in money, and push a bunch of buttons. I think I need to push all the buttons leading to the item I want. But instead, this buys *all* the items at each of the buttons that I've pushed. I'm thinking what to do with all this stuff I don't want. There is a small pack of bread, and containers/baggies of various pills. There are people around me. I offer to sell these unwated things to them, and somewhat to my surprise, they're all interested. First I sell the bread to a guy, I'm inspecting the package to look for the price, and eventually I see it is "45 <local currency>". I see that peopple have bought and taken a lot of my stuff but not with interacting with me, I say "hey, wheres' my money?!" they point out that it is on a counter, I look there and see a pile of coins, so it's OK.

      + [DO] I'm on a list of people giving a presentation at graduate school. I see my name about 3/4 of the way on the right, Since I've finished grad school I'm not sure what the point is of me being on this list.

      + in car outside (steep driveways?) talking with (former colleague?) about a conference?

      + on bus, stand up and get off, thinking about clothing, there are other people there, I exit at the back

      + outdoor large parking lot, huge van shows up, older man is cajoling his (son?) for not giving him enough money for his business: "$6,000, is that all?! I need more!" he says. His business is apparently buying & selling large bags of dog food. I see one of the bags on top of the truck and it is spilling a bit of the kibble around. It is a long large truck, he has a ton of inventory I think. There is a car in the parking lot farther on with two women, one middle-aged and one younger (wife & daughter?). They get out of the car. I'm focusing on the younger one. She has very attractive and shapely breasts apparent through her top. I'm watching her intently and she turns from side to side and I continue to try make out the shape of her breasts, and I'm definitely enjoying this and appreciating the view.

      + at my laptop at home, I'm looking at some pictures of females, they're not terribly risque, but my wife is there and I become self conscious, and so when she comes by I close the lid of my laptop. I hope she won't notice but she does, and insists that I show them to her. I open it to show one and briefly close it, hoping that will resolve the matter and she'll move on, but she won't drop it. I start getting a sinking feeling that I'm really in for it.

      + (vague) something about friends from our student's house at college. I see CL (guy) there, he's among people speaking a different language? I'm also with DD, and we have some goal, using a mobile phone, to block or interfere with something that we don't want to happen.
    9. 2020-09-21 boat, market, kids&candy

      by , 09-21-2020 at 07:36 AM
      bedtime ~23:30
      video before bed
      ate two muffins while watching
      waking 02:20?
      waking 04-05:00?
      BTS not hard
      snoozing 07:00-08:00
      spend fair amount of time reviewing dreams during the night
      out of bed: 08:15
      feel a bit groggy in the morning like not completely well rested



      + I'm putting on a pair of white summer-style white pants. I'm not wearing underwear. I put them on and they stretch around my legs, and since the weave is not very tight, the tan color of my leg skin shows through. My wife mentions this and says that these are completely inappropriate. I am not convinced and want to first put on underwear before deciding.

      + In (mexican?) restaurant, I put on mariachi robes

      +(f) close-up view of son S1's face/mouth while eating two candies at once, I tell him slow down eat one at a time

      + in room with my young kids with bins of candy like in candy store, I think this is too much candy


      + [fairly vivid, moderately present] on boat turning counter-clockwise, sitting on edge legs over side, two othes to my right concerned falling pulled under chopped up or left floating alone in ocean. boat's going forwards over ocean, pass over sunken crashed boat/plane shallow, see (dead) pilots in cockpit, ~3 of them clearly. imagine govt sends team to recover black box, a panel of enemy govt officials are laughing because the material of the plane is too hard to open and there's no info left anyway

      + [fairly vivid, moderately present] arrive to parking lot in car, get out, and roof is gone, oh, it's convertible, but I need to close it now, inspect remote, people walk past, find a joystick on remote and press the joystick and it closes the roof, press lock and the car locks, walking to store, get shopping cart? inside store entry way long corridor turn towards food section. in food section very long large section fairly dark, there are many empty bins, I'm amazed how empty the produce section is. The produce I want is not here. I find a pack of thai chilis, I'm pretty sure. There is a clerk unloading produce and tells me I should wait for the <???> because they're being unloaded fresh right now and will be out shortly. I ignore her because I do not want to wait. The produce looks really sad, a lot of it is visibly moldy (fuzzy mold growing all around it). there is very little attractive in the produce section. turn to go, and pass a display with blueberries packaged in flexible plastic "squeeze" containers, orange colored package, I put two into my cart.

      Some close ups of girls <ahem>s area, blurry can't tell if they're still dressed or not

      At some point I'm trying to find my way back (?) to the produce section to get more blueberry packages but can't find the way?

      + young girl's birthday party, there is a single prize balloon, two girls are trying to get it and only one succeeds. view of young girl's drawing book, with flip-page animations, very colorful

      +(f) scene with a driving instructor in a car driving down the street

      + restaurant counter scene, chinese restaurant, middle aged white man is standing up to leave, he didn't have to wait he says and was in and out very quickly, it was not busy. the cook is standing behind the counter, I approach the counter and sit down
    10. 2020-09-20 LDLD #254 #255 -- motorcycle ride, cabbage basketball, first day at work

      by , 09-20-2020 at 10:03 AM
      bedtime: 23:00-30?
      waking: 01?
      waking: 03?
      shocked awake 03:30 neighbor cutting firewood
      Not making progress falling asleep , get up & sit in other room.
      final waking 08?
      Long time recalling dreams
      get up: 09?
      Fairly tipsy at dinner time, several glasses of wine. Steak & salad for dinner, plus remainder of our desserts (cheesecake and a chocolate cake thing), then our apple pie while watching a video
      Watched video before bed


      + motorcycle ride on highway, turn right onto highway, a guy riding a fast (black) motorcycle streaks by me, weaving in and of traffic. I'm riding along and I come up on a guy riding a standard, I like the standard style and think about this. I think it's a Honda, and I'm weaving left and right of him to get a look at the model name on the gas tank but can't quite see it, but I think it's a Honda. The highway veers off to the left and I take the off-ramp to the right, I think I'm heading to city "A" (next to home city of B), the landscape is empty low hills. As I come to a stop sign I try to remember where the breaks are, on the left or the right handle. I remember the right handle, and squeeze the right handle bar break lever and push the right food lever. As I come to a stop I remember at the last minute that I need to downshift to first and quickly push down my left foot on the shift lever and click it a bunch of times to get to first gear. I start again and go slowly, this is not a powerful bike, but I feel like I'm holding up traffic and pull back on the throttle and speed up. The road goes up and to the right, then heads down, these are tight turns, very twisty, and I get the impression this road is not heading to a city but out into the wilderness. I have a feeling that I won't be able to make it back if I continue (I forget I'm on a motorcycle? I'm worried about the uphill portions on the return trip). I stop on a landing and look around, and a guy on a bike zooms approaching from the other direction up the hill, not visible because of the sharp elevation change, and jumps into my vision in the air and continues off, from my right to my left. I look around and see vague collections of orange-ish blurry dots in the distance. All around, spread out among the hills all around me, I think these are camp fires.

      + I'm playing basketball. I can't make a shot, and even layups won't go in. I'm playing with a cabbage instead of a basketball? I can't even make a simple layup. My opponents are goaltending and just blocking all my shots, really dominating me. The cabbate is in a large bucket of water/brine and a big leaf separates from the head and floats in the water.

      + [epic, long, vivid, fairly present, two lucid moments]: I arrive to a new job at company N, I'm really happy and proud to be here. I'm walking in the corridor between cubicles in a large indoor office space. I show off my new badge on my right hip one of those id badge roller things. It is a sort of brownish mottled looking design without a picture, I think it's just a temporary badge. I soon come to a cubicle where a young guy is, blonde hair, (name of "Claus?"), I have a long technical conversation with him about the C model he's been working on (for 3 years?), he's finishing up this work.

      I walk about some more, I see boyhood best friend MR and my mom approaching me down a corridor between offices (the wall) on the left and cubes on the right, there are people in front of them and I try to catch their eyes from a distance. I feel like MR meets my eyes and that we will have a mutual recognition, but it will be a surprise for him. My mom comforts a woman in front of her, a widower who lost her husband recently, my mom hugs her from the back but the woman doesn't want the comfort and shakes her off, the woman has a very pinched, bird-like face, it's an old, wrinkled face, 80+ years old. Her husband, someones [narrator?] says [or I remember?], was the man who saved Ev.McW.'s father [boy scout friend] [false].

      Walking among the cubes, I see a tray of cookies, and I pick one up and take it with me and eat it. It is a medium size, circular, with a moist chocolate filling center, and surrounded by a ring (about 1/4 inch) of sprinkled seeds like sesame seeds.
      I come across a guy and see his face clearly. At first I think it is RoWh, but Rob was fairly fat and this guy is thin. He's standing facing me, and I'm looking close at his face trying to place him. I say "I'm sure I've worked with you before." He and some other woman comment on the "tatoo" on my lip and this confuses me. They're talking about the cookie crumbles on my face and I'm a bit ashamed of this. Standing among the cubes, these people are now in their cubes and are wearing masks. I say that "I've been away from the workplace so long that I forgot that people wear masks now," and I'm concerned about the fact that I forgot to bring a mask and wonder where I'll get one.

      I'm wondering now about the day's schedule, and if there will be an orientation. I find (or she finds me) my HR person managing my first day and she hands me a schedule. I look at it and see a number of hand written notes, and think the first entry is about 2pm, and I feel relief that I haven't missed anything because it must be far from 2pm still.

      The HR lady brings me to a demonstration that a team is putting on on an open floor area. There are tons of little lego pieces spread evenly out over about a 1-square meter area. I step over this and try to avoid stepping on any of the pieces. The word "minefield" is spoken by somebody behind me. The demonstration begins, and little active "AI" pieces that look like flies, with ltitle moving legs, are gathering all the loose pieces together into a single flat area/pile so that there is no space left. This is using AI technology. That's the whole point: to gather up the pieces and bring them all together into an area with no space between them. The HR lady is also watching, she's wearing a white tank top and shorts, and she squats with with her knees out widely to watch the AI presentation.

      + [different scene?] I'm in mall walking among stores. I'm nose pinching to determine if I'm dreaming. The air seems blocked, but not completely. I can't tell if I'm dreaming or not. I keep repeating the nose pinch 3, 4, 5 times. Each time it seems like some air gets out but it's not flowing easily like it should. I concentrate on the feeling of my fingers on my nose, and it feels completely solid like a waking nose. I know that the nose pinch in a dream should feel like my airway is not connected to my dream body nose, but it seems in this case that it is. Unclear results of the RC [but I'm counting this!]

      + [back to the work dream] It's time for lunch now for the new hires, mingling with the employees. Standing in some corridor among the cubes, leaning up against a wall on a corner between hallways. The cost of lunch is $1.75. I'm not sure if the new hires are supposed to pay or not. I bring out my wallet and prepare three $1 bills. I'm trying to be coy about this and get somebody to say "no no new hires don't need to pay." A very large (tall and wide) screen across the open area on a far wall is displaying the two major lunch groups, with the names of long-time employees [so we can decide which group we want to be in?]. I go in. I see meet a guy I think I may know. He shakes my hand. He makes a gesture like "woah, your hand used to be all the way out here when you shaked before, you've lost a lot of weight." And then Ne.McK. (grad school friend) is there, I recognize him, he pulls up his shirt to show his abdomen, that he's lost weight, too.

      I'm now thinking about someone else I knew, Jo.Sa. from high school. I can imagine his face, but have forgotten his last name. I think he's a colleague here, too. I'm wracking my brains trying to remember his first name, even though I know he worked at company A [true], he works at this company N now I think? I finally "remember" his last name, "PUSHKIN!" I exclaim. I ask the guys "hey, does he have Russian roots?" They say yes, "his family were landholders." I am excited to learn this information, and pump my first in the air and exclaim "Yes!"

      + I'm standing [still at work] at a printer(?) station. There is a young woman there, and a colorful scene/patch of sky across from me even though there's no window, and I'm looking at the quality of the colors and the clarity of her face, because I know it's a dream, and I want to examine how things look and feel in a dream.


      + I'm in a vague indoor area with slanted floors on different levels. I'm carrying something and I put in in a shopping cart to bring it along with me. My old boss from comany P (in NY) is there, riffing on a guitar. He's quite good and the music is interesting. I think he's going to come with me on my walk through these rooms and he'll keep playing his guitar.
      lucid , memorable
    11. 2020-09-19 bunch of scenes over two wakings.

      by , 09-19-2020 at 12:58 PM
      bedtime 00:30?

      wakings: 02:00 , 04:14 (bathroom), 04:35 can't fall asleep get up sit chair telescope/stars, 04:55 back to bed, relaxation techniques, fall asleep


      + In some (University?) setting, I'm offering a friend to play (handball?), there is a vague (transparent? grapefruit-sized malleable "ball" in my hands, we're walking (to the court?) and talk about a volleyball team, I think I should join because that's a good way to meet young people (girls?) , we enter a dinner/cafe and sit at tall long table in the middle of the room, the tables/counters all around are strewn with leftovers, it's dark-ish in here, I think we're going to drink beer (and wonder if we'll be OK to drive after that) and eat (pizza?), look on counter next to kitchen see piles of food (pizza with melted cheese) covered with newspapers all along the counter, I approach the counter and think about hot links sausages go to look and see vague wrapper on counter, can't see anything not sure if it's a hot links package or not.

      + [DO?] (younger) dad in garden pulled up by his collar (instant replay) with a look of pain on his face

      + keys to the boy scout troops equipment rooms, the rooms are spread out across different towns

      + standing in line approaching service counter, crowd of people, line is unruly, some women in line jump in front of me I believe

      + scary corridor the room is lost hear friend but can't reach, there is no path any more, I'm scared/panicked, pacing back and forth in the elevator landing looking for the door to the room I remember being there before where my friend is, hear voice but can't get to her, to prove that she's there, I (put?) a mirror on the wall and she wacks the wall with her hand from her side and breaks the mirror, she's yelling/screaming for me

      + [DO] sleeping bags dual entry I think for serious cold camping but g/f L thinks its for animals, I wonder about washing them, g/f L says you need to wash them after (30?) days. They look like two smaller sleeping bags that are sewn together at the foot, sort of a "sleeping bag for two." One side (the left side) of each pair is a bit shorter than the right side. They look too short for me.

      + how to get out of the garage? Lots of debris, get out, pile of construction garbage nearby, workers comment on the driveway of neighbor we're standing in, owner won't like it that we're there.


      (weaker recall)

      + (f) lion? (new d/s) in distance / riding bicycle old time handles

      + (f) crossing intersection at busy road, waiting for light

      + football play (instant replay?) View from on-field sidelines I'm standing on the right hand side of the offensive team's direction, there is a wide receiver set up on the right side, the play starts, he runs out after a delay, the defending side I think holds/pushes him too much, he gets out and runs his route but the play goes to the left side of the field, it's a short pass, and after a little maneuver to avoid a tackle the receiver doesn't make much yardage.

      + wife on vacation? in Paris?, I want to returnr immediately stay a day or two more I think, she offers a whole month

      + scene indoors with my old dog L, he is standing there and snapping at flies as they pass by his face. I think this is amusing. He keeps snapping at them but never seems to catch any of them.
    12. 2020-09-18 enemy garage, restaurant, cube, car

      by , 09-18-2020 at 08:47 AM
      bedtime: ~1am? (celebration yesterday, and generally messed up day running errands, my schedule was thrown off)
      First noticed waking:
      out of bed: 9:45am

      I have grogginess sufficient to fall back asleep and eventually do, try body scan, mouth & eye relax, visualize quiet scene, river with sounds, lake scene, and start floating in/out of wakefulness


      + A garage area roll-down door is closing, there is a guard stationed there, I block the door at the last minute and crawl underneath. There is a whole gang of bad guys in there and I've infiltrated. I have a key and mess with the floor-locking mechanism on the door. I get up and start walking resolutely. Bad guys are all around me but are going about there business, ignoring me because they assume I belong. I walk through different rooms & areas (washing machines in one?) and keep walking ahead, not making eye contact, wondering how long this can go on before they discover me.

      + restaurant table woman arrives drops something, should I pick it up as a gentleman would? I dither on the decision

      + moving restaurant table, I go from a multi-person table to a smaller table so as to make room for a larger party at my first table.

      + work setting, woman hears man talking thinks it's bad about her throws a cup of water at him through a hole in the cubical walls, scene shifts to see that guy in his cube, angry and raging about that he just uses that whole to talk to his cube neighbor, he starts ranting about "pubes" and shows his pubes (big bush) to his cube neighbor, keeps ranting "pubes! pubes!"


      + I'm on the downhill slope of FL (neighborhood CH to the left and down) approaching the corner at AV, rolling (ball?) with a friend who is ahead of me, the ball rolls down and to the left on to AV. A bright turquoise blue car (Mercedes?) (the color is really striking and gets my attention, the rest of the dream seems greyscale, it is dark-ish, evening time) drives by me closely on the left, stops, and now comes almost directly at me, I wonder if he's trying to hit me, it seems like it, should I get out of the way? I stand in place and the car's left side (heading up hill now) brushes my left leg. I think the driver is just going to keep coming at me. I see the driver inside the car (light, white/cream colored upholstery) seems to be lying down in the front seat, I see a bottle, I assume he's drunk.

      + (f, vague) feeding the cat? water bowl is dirty with bits of food in it?

      + in PTL, move from MB to S1's room, one guy there, I'm naked, being a bit of an exhibitionist, the other guy pulls his pants down, I toss a wad of paper into the top of his pants like a basketball hoop, want to show it to those around, another guy comes (relative of the first) and first guy mentioned what I did, I think I should get dressed, I pull a pair of rainbow underwear out, rainbow striped shaped like women's bikini bottom, put it on, the size is a bit off, I say "this is a large"
    13. 2020-09-16 random short scenes

      by , 09-16-2020 at 06:39 AM
      bed-time 12:15

      wakings: ~02:00, ~04:00 [long BTS despite still being groggy, g/f very noisy, some 4-7-8 breathing and breath focus, quick tense/release, "don't think", exhale all tension on exhale] 07:30
      out of bed: 08:00

      early wakings:
      + (f, vague) chess position thoughts

      final waking:

      + baby blue, tank-like garbage truck lunges out of the parking lot into the street, I hop out of the way, it has a "cow catcher" front, totally closed, no windows

      + pulling off the highway (to exit?) to the shoulder, the shoulder quickly becomes loose wet sand with ditches, we'll get stuck if we go farther, I call to the driver to stop

      + naked (and excited [clearly visible]) male wrestlers trying to hide the fact from the (coach? ref?) that one of them has climaxed during the bout. One of the wrestlers is smaller and weaker than the other and has thin arms

      +(f) walking along some ledge in a cave

      + time to board an airplane, the counter agents are calling out the boarding order, I'm not in the first class but I'm towards the front of the line, so I'm wondering if it's my turn yet, we go forwards towards the plane, and [DJ-time recall:] through a large concessions area there there are a lot of gooey and tasty looking pastries, and I'm thinking that people will buy these and take them on the plane. Other tourists are talking about / thinking of buying fur (mink?) stoles (?)

      + [fairly vivid] clearing snow from the streets (in Seattle?). There's a crew with a lawn-mower sized snow/ice breaker/plow, and they're moving it along a long, straight (waterfront) area with cars parked on the right. An older man is running the snow breaker, he puts it over a chunk of snow and it has grinders inside that chew up the ice/snow (and spit it out?)

      + getting our tickets punched by the conductor, the location of the punch on a large red and white card indicates somehow the location of the seat? He says "oh so you're all together?" I'm standing and looking at the large laminated red/white seat map and wondering about the meaning of the punch location. One of the punches is made on the border

      + discussion with a young woman about the weather properties of "some burrough of New York?" and I keep making incorrect statements like "it is located along a large body of water, that's why the weather is moderate" that she contradicts and corrects; ) overhead, [DO] scene of a map of street arterials between regions, then the scene shows a foot-path moving into a building (fast food restaurant?) where people walk to stand in line to buy tickets, brief impression of a ticket buying transaction at the counter
    14. 2020-09-11 another overflow night over several wakings :)

      by , 09-11-2020 at 09:10 AM
      Meta: bedtime before midnight, 100mg of sweet dessert wine around 9pm, didn't watch any videos before bedtime (yay).
      Took my zinc, magnesium, and multi (1) about 8pm. Took 1/2 of a 100mg B6 tablet at bedtime. No relaxants (valerian, melatonin) or nootropics (Hyp-A, galantamine, AlphaGPC).

      Final waking: 7am, consolidated recall, tried for some continued relaxation, visualization (V-WILD), got up about 8:45am

      Real Reflection making an appearance! I acknowledged a DC as speaking in English, and I asked my DC son S2 "what's up with your head!?"


      + with son S2 in present day home, earwax buildup on his mobile, he's making a massive pile of noodles in a bowl in the kitchen (I want some), back in my room facing him I notice his swollen, misshapen, balding head, and way "What's up with your head!?"

      + outside food truck (sausages with lots of toppings) on the street, the vendor woman I notice is speaking in English [DS!], she has weird teeth [DS], the sausages are tightly rolls of thinly sliced lunch meat, around front with son S1 to order, there are vats of toppings like guacamole, and various sweets to order

      + lots of activity with a Boy Scout group on a dark (snowy?) hill, there is a luxurious looking clubhouse with lights on inside and a round dome roof

      + (f=fragment), faces, (mother?) saying something about some woman living in "Eckerly" or something like that.

      + at a traffic light, pull up to left lane to turn left beside cool car, some guy from the other direction (right?) pulls in front of me in a giant cool car, I decide not to mess with him, light turns green, but I realize too late while in the intersection that the light is green only for straight not turning left, and I'm going to run into problems with cross-traffic


      + in a canoe on a large body of water, my mobile is out and I'm filming, find a nice spot to land but have trouble and get advice from the guys already landed, I make several attempts, get out, want to get naked and swim (I'm wearing a swimsuit?), the others want to go but I say "give me time to swim!"

      + woman pushing a hotel luggage trolley, another woman is riding, they make out (?), I take over, get to the destination where the woman's husband is, woman and I quickly kiss, and I start discussing their travel plans, they're from the south and only flying to a neighboring state, a map of the south comes up and I'm eyeing it closely trying to make sense of it and name the states

      + (f) in some indoor location with tubes, some man makes some comment (he's a celebrity?), I think about the air flowing through the tubes

      + [vivid, present] in a pharmacy, I see (and narrate?) indian spices, the store clerks pop their heads around the aisle corners a few times and make random comments, I get really fascinated with the stevia, and try to decide what to buy: large size pellets, medium size, tiny size, there are so many different options I'm overwhelmed; I also look at the tooth flossers because I should bring some home for my kids, I pick up a few and carry them with me
    15. 2020-09-10 lions, boars, and bears, oh my! Prophetic dream of wet firewood

      by , 09-10-2020 at 06:25 AM
      Got to bed before midnight, yay! Still ate right before bed, boo, need to work on that.
      More dreams and more awareness (much more) at the ~3hr waking than the ~7hr waking, an upside-down recall night.



      + woman suicides outside church, I see her lying on the ground and liquid (clear at first) and blood pumping from a large puncture on the left side of her neck

      + driving at high speed through intersections, and freeway on-ramps, trying vainly to read the signs and find the right route to get home

      + people talking about the amazing huge cave discovered on the shore line, it's a nearly a religious experience to visit it, I think I know where it is and what they're talking about

      + the library books are due soon, I spoke with the librarian (in a library setting) and I was pretty sure I had more time since I just recently checked them out

      + I hear a political discussion while I'm inspecting a large stone/crystal spherical structure

      + [long, vivid] lots of construction in our area, people move in across the street, they have a massive mansion and property filled with wild animals, I particularly note the lions (and wild boars), tell people about them, try to avoid them and the owner, there's a large social event at their place


      + my firewood is covered in plastic but it's raining and the water has risen several feet, it's too deep to walk through clothed so I go to change into my swimsuit, younger son is throwing apples (shooting with a slingshot?) with a friend and (my parents?) say he'd better not or he'll get in trouble, as I go inside to change


      + [long, vivid, multi-scene] I'm observing a large truck leaving our area (outside the city) among the trees [area is not waking area]. I turn around and notice new construction has popped up all around, partially built houses where I do not recall seeing them before, 2-3 story narrow houses. I'm walking outside on the street and I notice that a new property has been constructed, they're just moving in, and they have installed paneling on the "hump" of ground on the sidewalk outside their property. I climb to the top of this hump and look at their property, it is large, and I begin to see wild animals. There is a large mountain lion (or female lion) not too far away facing away from me and I make a hasty retreat heading back across the street. I tell (someone?) [in foreign language?] about the lions, wild boars, (and bears?) roaming their property.

      There is a (social?) event at their property, I'm holding something wrapped in a (red?) towel that I want to return (something about the lions?) which I give to a (maitre d' ?) station at an outdoor restaurant, I hope that the lions don't detect me doing this, after dropping it off I turn to go and am walking through tables at the outdoor restaurant , and I recognize the owner of the lion property seated alone at a table facing me, and do not want to attract his attention so I move past him quickly.

      I'm with a woman and we're standing in some alcove in the mansion.

      I'm parking my car at the property, there is a dirt road leading down to a lower parking level, but there are trees blocking the path and I'm trying to see how I can get my car on to that path, there is a female parking attendant standing by.

      + I'm outside standing among my piles of firewood covered by a tarp to protect it against the rain, and the water level has risen so high, it is several feet already. I'm wading through it in between the piles and it just gets deeper, and I'm concerned about getting soaked through since I'm dressed. I comment [in a foreign language?] about the water getting deeper. I need to do something with the firewood (make sure it's covered?), so I plan to go inside and change into my swimsuit. I head towards the entrance to the house (up some steps and through a sliding glass door, like in PTL's side door?), and my son S2 and a friend as young kids are shooting little apples with slingshots (?), I know my parents (or somebody's?) are inside, and they're commenting about how S2 better not be doing that, I calm them saying it's OK, he's not hurting anything.

      Something about a backpack?

      [Interesting note: in waking life, I wake from this firewood/water dream, and hear wind & rain outside, get up to check, and indeed the tarp had blown off of the firewood and it was getting soaked in the rain, so I ran outside to cover it up again, I did several RCs while doing this!]
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