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    FryingMan

    2022-08-01 [vivid] very emotional mtg deceased wife; visiting the hood; garden; pillows; insomnia

    by , 08-01-2022 at 07:55 AM (114 Views)
    bedtime: 22:20

    Probably my most emotional, direct, confrontational encounter with my deceased wife these many years after her passing.
    I've had many dreams where she "returns" as if from a business trip, and I'm already with my new wife (usually before we were married), and I have a huge dilemma about whom I will stay with. But this time I remembered...

    ~ 03:555

    + [vivid] I'm driving in a car with my 1st [deceased] wife. She's in the driver's seat driving the car, I'm sitting in the right hand side of the back seat. We are not in good relations, she's upset with me, like our relationship is ruined. Music is playing, and a Billy Joel song begins (seems like "Rosalinda's eyes", the musical climax portion of the chorus), it was "our song" [false, that was Natalie Cole songs], and my wife becomes emotional and says she still loves me. (She cries? I cry?) I reach out and stroke her shoulder to comfort her.

    I'm standing outside in the sunlight in an open area. I look at my hands [I've been working on "I find/see my hands in dreams and realize I'm dreaming"], both of my [true in waking] rings are in place [First time that's happened!], the silver one and the wedding ring, one each on their proper hands ring fingers. I realize I'm married to my new wife now. It's the [familiar] dilemma -- what shall I do? I have no intention of leaving my new wife. I decide to remove my wedding ring for the meanwhile to hide it from my 1st wife. I'm a bit concerned about losing it rolling around loose in my pocket. I notice that the ring has left very noticeable impressions on my ring finger, from the protrusions it has on the inside face [false, this is day residue from viewing pictures of the Oura sleep tracking ring in the day, which has electronics on the inner side of the ring]. I think she still may see these markings and suspect something, I rub my finger where the ring sat in hopes that they'll smooth out and become not so visible.

    My first wife is consulting a lawyer about a divorce. She is reviewing some papers and reading some excerpts from them.

    I'm thinking about what I can do -- I'm married to two women at the same time. This is bigamy and I know it's against the law. I could end up in prison for 10 years. This has me very upset. I'm thinking and thinking what to do. I get the feeling that the marriage to my 1st wife should be annullable for some reason. This thought sticks with me. Then I get the notion that the first marriage ended because she died, so we're not married any more.

    Inside our home. I walk into the boys's room and I see that on their computer screen they're looking at with some colorful image (some game) instead of working on the assignment they're supposed to be working on.

    Inside our CA home, we're there with our two young sons (5-7 yrs aged in the dream). I tell her the truth: "You're dead, you died from cancer several years ago." She moves (sort of aggressively/possessively) towards my two sons (me and my sons are standing with our backs against a wall?), and I intervene myself between them to keep her from scaring them. She seems to realize the truth and she backs off. She knows she has to go.

    In any amazingly touching moment, my younger son reaches up to a bulletin board on the wall in front of us where some of their children's artwork are displayed, and takes down one of his works, and gives it to her so she can have it with her for comfort for all eternity.

    In our final confrontation, my wife and I we are standing facing each other, close, looking in to each other's eyes. She asks me: "Do you think there is life after death? Or do we just disappear into the Chaos?" I say "oh, you can still come and visit from time to time," trying to comfort her. She seems very doubtful, and (maybe says) "really?" (in a very doubtful voice). Then her eyes begin to change: there are (spirals? Like little galaxies) in the center, then they start to flash to pure white (no pupil no irirs) back and forth to the spiral eyes, and eventually remain all white, very freaky/dead looking.

    I wake up, I'm really shaken and have all-body goose bumps. I get the feeling this was a really significant dream and perhaps a real visitation.
    I spend some time fixing the key moments from the dream to memory.

    It takes a long time to calm down, eventually I sleep more and dream some more....

    + in the hood: I'm visiting some people inside their house. Outside the window across the street a large force of (police?) are gathering, they are all armed and I can see the pistols in their hands. They're preparing to storm the house directly across the street. There is a window in that house across, it is dark but with some blue and red lights (like neon lights or LED lights). I think this is not a safe place for us to be, I say "hey everybody, let's move farther inside the house," I don't want us to be hit by any stray bullets.

    (This family I'm visiting is African American?)

    One of the family members (a woman) is sitting in a doorway and is holding a small pistol in her hand. I move a bit back from her.

    +[f] some short scenes:

    I pick up my two arm support pillows and am walking with them to some other room, I'm looking at them and asking someone, "are these my pillows?"

    Some woman is talking to me about what I need to do at work. I'm taking a business trip? I know I need to be up at 7, I think the jet lag from the trip will really mess up my new sleep timing and I'll miss more sleep.

    There are some people outside, there is a corridor/walking below me. On the left are some gym-style exercise machines (some people are using them?). I think there is a lat training machine there, and that I should use it.

    Some woman is inside a large indoor area like a greenhouse, she is tending to things embedded in the floor. It's some sort of (sexual?) performance art / entertainment area, where customers will come later. The woman then prepares to be a customer (?), and along the edge is a bunch of "living" greenery that transforms, and part of it becomes adult male genitalia with curly pubic hair.

    Drifting in an out of sleep, trying to rest, alarm goes off at 07:00
    RelicWraith likes this.

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    Categories
    non-lucid , nightmare , memorable

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