• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views

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    1. 2022-08-30

      by , 08-31-2022 at 12:37 PM
      + driving on a street, a large wagon blocks our path and drives up along the driver's side of ours, slowly, but forcing us off the road into a parking garage, where there is an entrance blocking arm, (I can't figure out how to operate it?), a (black?) guy comes up and shows a control area with cards, you have to buy like a monthly subscription to the garage in order to park there.

      +[f] something about paying back a loan, thinking about how it'd get done, some currency conversion had to be done between dollars and (foreign currency).

      + I see Suzanne, she is with a guy, I thought she would come up to me and we'd be together, she comes up and give me a brief hug, I tell her that I'm glad that she found a friend,. We're walking with them and a group of others, it's an urban setting, concrete ground, we walk past a carport (to a restaurant?) and Suzanne says that her laundry is in a dryer here, I think it's odd that she has her laundry spread around the city in various washer/dryers and I say "man you guys do laundry in the strangest of places!" We walk past along the side of a restaurant building, it's a McDonalds, I see a sign on the corner that has the word "milkshakes" in it, I think, "I'm in America, so I see all of the American restaurants, it was a salad bar McDonald's, full of the lowest level / sleaziest people. We're inside and I hear the employees of the McD's talk about the mechanics of how the customers will take food on to their plates. I turn a couple 90-degree corners to the left and arrive at the entrance area, people are waiting in front of a hostess (or cashier) in an entry area, I sit down on a bench past the hostess, there are people on my right approaching me, I want (Suzanne?) to come with next to me but there are people in front of her that may take that spot.

      + sitting in a small room with some windows, I'm trying to avoid having anybody look through the windows and see what's on my screen [DS], I look out of one small window (it's up pretty high) and see a pile of debris that reaches up to the window and an opening beyond it, I think that's pretty good, nobody will come and look through that window. A young Indian man comes up to the central/longer window and enters the room, apparently he was actual Mexican so I started fake-speaking Spanish in nonsense words.

      last dream before alarm @ 0700

      + I was standing before a tall cabinet/dresser with a woman / boss to my left and a man to my right, and some prisoners/captives around on the other side of the wall where the cabinet is standing. On top of the cabinet is a box with stuff, there's a smaller container with lots of small bits of jewelry in it, I pour out the contents (I think it belongs to my 1st [deceased] wife?), and I'm looking through it and pick out bullets. Once I gather a handful of bullets, I pick up an unloaded semi-automatic pistol from the dresser top and hand everything to the boss woman who says "what are these?" , I answer "bullets," she says "it's good to give the impression that we're having a conversation, so I hand the things to the woman and we start to have a pretend conversation, just saying words without much meaning

      (partial, more to transcribe)

      + MEO 2022-08-30 #1

      from several days ago:

      + outdoors daytime city, a large / tall bus/truck is making a right turn and a smaller (SUV?) vehicle tries to zip past the truck also turning right, but the bus turns too sharply and knocks into the car, causing it to roll over to the right several times. When it comes to rest I wonder if anyone left alive inside.

      + after McDonald's scene, we pass a member of our group of people who were walking around, he's up on a platform, he's there with his wife and kid, and he's completely dsassembled his car (the engine especially) into many different pieces which are all laying about. He says as we pass, "I love physics!" His wife is frustrated because he's completely disassembled the car.

      + [f] at some point earlier I had a clsoe-up view o car cylinder, and how you had to push and pull the cylinder parts to get it to operate.
    2. 2022-08-31 softball, supermarkets

      by , 08-31-2022 at 12:23 PM
      + catching a line drive (hit by superman?) in a game of (superhero?) softball, I'm standing in a city street, (the ball flies over a fence to me?), I don't have a glove, the ball flies right at me and I put up my right hand to try to catch it but it's coming too fast and it smacks my palm and falls to the ground. Then the other players are tossing a lot of balls my way and I'm not able to catch any of them, I tell them this is because I don't have my glove

      + in a store running along a very large / wide ice cream aisle, I look down and see the various flavors, I arrive to the end of the aisle where people I know (my BIL?) are sitting

      + in a public bathroom, there are open (door-less) stalls to my left, I walk to the end of the room up to the wall (urinal?) and I see to the left a small child (baby/infant?) is floating in the toilet (the floor is covered in sand?), some other smaller kid comes up and lies on top of the one in the toilet (it's pretty large like 2-3x the size of a typical toilet) and lies on top of him and poops, I see the brown cloud in the water beginning to spread, I think "man if anybody knows that first kid he'll come here and kick the 2nd one's ass" and indeed a large guy comes up and picks up the pooping 2nd kid and holds him up in the air

      + I'm stacking apples in a supermarket. There are some very funny shaped / large red ones. There is a very small one and a supermarket clerk comes up to me and takes the smal one, I think nobody wants it, but then starts to take the large/funny shaped ones too and I indicate I want to keep them.

      + arrive to another (same?) supermarket, a greeter handed me a little whiteboard (to write my shopping list on?) and I think "oh this is the place where they give you the white board", the greeter asked if I wanted something like a root beer, I declined, but then reconsidered and figured since they're offering me a free drink why not ask for something better, so I asked "get me a rootbeer float!" Later on there's a deli section, there are lots of young people there, they're looking at me (and snickering?), I think "I guess they've never seen someone (cool) like me with a beard before

      + in a class/brainstorming session, young people, they're rewriting some document, there's a paper with words (list of ice cream flavors?), afterwards they were sleeping/camping out in sleeping bags on little platforms in a river, it was all surrounded by concrete like under an overpass or elevated highway.

      + I was outdoors singing, I thought the people nearby who hear me should be impressed.
    3. 2022-08-23 no recall, began working Stimulus Control Therapy for sleep maintenance insomnia

      by , 08-23-2022 at 07:04 AM
      After another bad night two nights ago where I was up after about 6 hours of sleep and couldn't get back to sleep, I decided to begin the SCT (Stimulus Control Therapy) option in my "End the Insomnia Struggle" book. It's all about retraining the mind to strongly associate being in bed only with sleeping. It's pretty simple in theory:

      1) go to bed only when sleepy (not only fatigued, but actually sleepy, like you can't keep your eyes open or your head is nodding forwards) (an established bedtime is preferred)
      2) if at any time your are awake for more than 20 minutes, get out of bed and go to another room and do something boring/relaxing
      3) return to bed when you feel sleepy
      repeat 2-3 as many times as needed
      4) get up at a fixed time every day
      5) no naps

      Also, do not use the bed and bedroom except for sleep and sex.

      This one is tougher since our big screen TV is set up across from the bed. I'm taking a break from in-bed video watching to see if this can fix my middle of the night wakings.

      I REALLY REALLY want to train myself to fall asleep much much faster. Like, 5-10 minutes tops. This will help dream practice in the long run. So I'm taking the pain now of this therapy to end the insomnia struggle forever, hopefully!

      I had the impression of some dreaming at the beginning of the long awake period at about 4.5 hours of sleep last night. Last night (with the insomnia) there was no recall at all.
    4. 2022-08-20 better recall, and a late morning BTS success

      by , 08-20-2022 at 04:54 PM
      + special street lights that illuminate the bike, I've moved the bulb from Mitch's place?

      + changing the bulb, strange rechargable batteries with bad ones that blink, close up

      + in the house of the consulate, it's Putin, but doesn't look like him, he talks about the bike

      + sit to the cafeteria table at Nvidia, John W is saying that we've been here so long that the things we've worked on in the beginning have (already passed on into history)


      BTS (long, Heruka visualization, some throat lotus visualization)


      + eating octopus (which is "squid?"), tearing off a piece, guys some, bring more food, taste some, move to other side table

      + ordering chocolates / confectionary, someone slipped in a poop? I need to pick the pieces I want myself because of this, I pick several, put back one which has a missing bottom, and pick another one. The filling is like peanuts in a dark molasses sauce

      + flexing leg muscles in a fitness group, I have very pronounced muscles in my right leg and want to show it off to the younger people there, especially the girls, black guy too?
    5. 2022-08-19 a black guy wants fried chicken, some buxom actress is a follower of my son

      by , 08-19-2022 at 10:13 AM
      not much recall, a few scenes that were decent in length but faded after waking.
      Need to really catch the moment of waking, remain still, and focus on recall

      +[vague] something in a theater?

      + walking behind a black guy on a path, he really wants some fried chicken. I think he's talking about KFC, but I say no, I know a MUCH better place. I'm telling how juicy this place makes their chicken, I have a visual of a breaded piece of chicken on a plate is being cut. We come to some sort of a city center, where my relatives (including parents) are up high on a walkway between buildings and electronic advertising screens, (the screens are showing the place that I'm recommending?)

      + outside, near a river? Standing at a fence? Beyond the fence is a buxom heavy-set famous actress, she is talking to somebody about how awesome my younger son S2 is, how they should really follow him, I'm not sure what to think about his, I'm then talking to S2 later. [details faded]
    6. 2022-08-18 vacuum, chess, hot tub, oath box, toy parking garage

      by , 08-19-2022 at 10:03 AM
      + using a vacuum cleaner on a deep shag white carpet. Moving it around I see how it it picking up pieces of dirt and debris from the carpet. The head of the vacuum is like an industrial carpet cleaner: triangular in shape and (transparent?)

      + playing a game of chess with Hikaru Nakamura, thinking about the position, strange pawn to queen promotion, I'm white, planning some combinations, I think I can queen and really start checking his king, on the left side of the board, and maybe pick up at least a full rook. But he'd have two connected passed pawns on the right side of the board that could be very dangerous. He makes some moves that involve moving his passed rook pawn several squares on one move? I had pushed my pawn to the queening square but didn't promote it to a queen, I wondered if I could now turn it into a queen. Hikaru kept picking up the cross from the top of the bishop that had fallen off and kept placing it back, it keeps falling, I think I need to fix that some time.

      + advising a group of 3 gay guys on their selection of hot tub design. I'm walking by them and I see they are examining a number of different design samples: mostly dark with some warm colors, and one of them is like my blue and gold tea cup. I walk around or return and see another sample, which is a sort of eggplant shaped large sample, dark with a lot of designs inlaid into it like cosmic scenes and swirling galaxies. I recommend something about hitting it and cracking it.

      + With Rob Wheel. there is a small little machine which is going to accept my oath. RW is holding and operating it. There is a single raised button on the top of the device, in the shape of a letter W, and you have to push it and make some other sorts of movements. I do it correctly and my oath is accepted.

      + standing in an office area (partially outside?) with people (advisers?), something about getting an insurance policy? (Sort of vague)

      + Looking at and operating a toy parking garage. There's a grandma there and a child, I'm demonstrating how the toy works. There are small toy cars on the bottom and you crank a handle and the car rises up to the top and rolls down around corners
    7. 2022-08-16 trying to show I can glide, dinner party with crayfish, want to propose to April/August,

      by , 08-16-2022 at 06:48 AM
      BT 22:40, took a while to fall asleep since L was reading and moving about
      OOB 06:55
      awake 05:45 (fell asleep for a short while, one more dream)
      22mg L-theanine, 1g GABA before bed
      3g glycine, 1g L-tryptophan about 21:30 or 21:00

      2 prior wakings with zero recall. A bit unusual, usually I'll have some memories in the 2nd waking. But I'm not delving for recall now before the 5 hrs waking.

      very hot night, had to take off the blankets.

      earlier (~ 0545)

      + hanging out with a male (movie?) star of some sort, he's talking about his girlfriends, he says "You think (they, referring to some other girls) are mine? Psh. They're like 41B [breast size] at most" that gets me thinking about bra sizes, what would be big? 44DD? Then I see the two who *are* his GFs, they are sitting on each branch of an L-shaped branch. They are indeed heftily endowed in the chest department. They're bouncing on their seats which causes their breasts to bounce around, too, and I see that their tops are slightly see-through to the point where I can fairly clearly make out their areolas/nipples.

      Move on down the street, I'm with friends, we're approaching a sort of cliff in front of a very large canyon with rolling hills/mountains below that extends far into the distance. It is night time. This is a flying-dinosaur-riding area, I say "I hear that it's really cool to do this at night!". I go up to a promontory area sticking out into the canyon and want to show off for my friends that I can fly/glide, I'm intending just to step off over the canyon and glide right back to them standing nearly at the edge. But a group of people get in the way and block my access to the edge. They're young men, they're jostling around, and just won't get out of the way.

      Then we're inside a room, and the guys sort of shuffle away, but one of them hits a light switch (but not the right one?). I also punch a light switch right next to it on the wall

      + in a group of young people sitting around a long (picnic-style) table [DREAM SIGN], we're joking, one of the girls has offered me to eat a crayfish/lobster, which I jokingly protest, saying "I'm not going to eat this! Too many legs! And there are people who eat the heads, I understand it tastes like sh*t!" the girl is laughing with me.

      I've been introduced to some girl (April? August? [Some "A" name apparently a month!]) in this group, and I want to ask her our (propose to her?). Then I remember L, I think she'll be pretty upset that I propose to some other girl, she was probably expecting that I would propose to her instead.


      + walking F dog, he runs off into the distance, something has attracted him, I pull him along not wanting to find out, but a group of small dogs appear and all run to us, so F must meet them. We're at the base of a slide, we're walking up the slide, I'm pushing a cart, and people are in my way, I ask the person in front of me to step aside (?) so I can go by. Push through some door into some building(?)

      + in the CS department, walking through an office area, on a desk to my right I see an old classic mac setup, I go and (get some papers?) and return by the mac where two guys are fiddling with it, I punch the eject button on the (CD? disk?) it pops up, I push it back in. I move on. I look at the papers, (it's a grad school application?) I'm looking at the fields that need to be filled out, most are empty, one of them is titled "Admin" (?) which I interpret to mean it is the professor who is recommending me. I head back in to the office to get my professor to sign it, but I think that perhaps this needs to be signed by someone other than my advisor, and I imagine my advisor would just ask one of his colleagues to sign it.
    8. 2022-08-14 better sleep, definite dreams, recall just so-so

      by , 08-14-2022 at 05:51 AM
      Took a combo of L-theanine (200mg) and GABA (1g) at bedtime. 3g of glycine a bit earlier in the evening.

      BT 22:30
      final waking ~ 05:30
      OOB 07:00

      I slept and rested well, with fewer wakings than normal.

      + browsing through an erotic magazine, open up the centerfold for a quick look (dark/nothing really clear unfortunately!)
      + People are in a room full of inflatable furniture floating on top of water, there is a rumor that sharks are nearby
      + I'm regaling a group of people (youngsters?) with a tale of mine, I know one of them has heard it before so I excuse him from listening.
    9. 2022-08-13 B6 experiment gone bad...strange event, jumping across the rail tracks

      by , 08-13-2022 at 10:35 AM
      So Mr. Genius decided it was time to try a big B6 boost at bedtime for a boost to recall, took 100mg, and basically felt like I didn't sleep all night long. Had just a few dreams. Terrible night. Eeeek.

      + at some sort of outdoor event like a concert, tons of people. There was a large odd device that was set up to the (right?) of the stage, it had a bunch of noisy moving solid flaps on it that would change position with a loud "click!", it was someone reading the (minds? evaluating?) the audience members, and I thought that was an invasion of privacy.
      I'm lying with a friend on our backs looking up at the sky [DS]. It had a strange sort of pattern to it, like a large stencil was spread across the sky.
      Thinking about ST near a potted plant(?)

      + I want to jump across some rail tracks to the far sidewalk. I go up to the gap and decide it looks like it's too far to jump. But I back up to get a running start (I'm in bare feet or in socks?), and run up to the gap and notice there are some central lines of asphalt running parallel to the tracks and I can use these to land on and continue jumping across. I make it to the other side OK. Then I turn and look at the rails. Sort of a train arrives, it's actually like a small cart. It has some small things (lights?) poking out of the front, and a conductor/staff guy comes up and adjusts the sticking out thing.

      + [f, vague] need to move through a dense crowd of people through to the other side?
    10. 2022-08-12 avoid zombies, hurry away from CH, basketball, crackers, blackjack, wine glass guy

      by , 08-12-2022 at 07:02 AM
      An actually fairly high recall night, most dreams short, but it seems every waking had recall. A big step up from the last couple weeks...

      BT ~23:15
      final waking 06:55 (a bit earlier probably)
      OOB 07:15 after more recall and voice recording

      Adopted a mindset of acceptance about whatever experience the night brings. Strategy from the book "End the Insomnia Struggle", I applied not only to sleep but to dreaming and recall. Seemed to work out!

      Also, bedtime supplements: full set of vitamins in the evening, including glycine and l-tryptophan right before bed. 1 of our banana cups before bed.
      Didn't walk in the evening. Was outdoors in the sun a lot in the daytime.

      + outdoors daytime in a field (with bottle of pills?) with a girl we're hurrying to finish our business to get out of here before the (monsters/zombies/etc) come out

      + outside CH, on old bus stop, hiding from someone who's coming for us, need to get to destination without being seen, car arrives woman and girl inside, I urgently say we need to go quickly

      + playing blackjack in a casino run by ScoSel (founder company 3). I'm thinking about the 3-2 payout they pay for blackjack. I see/imagine the dealer paying out these blackjack payoffs, first duplicating the player's bet stack, then adding a 50% additional half-stack right next to it. I imagine seeing a player with an Ace, and then the dealer deals a 10 for a blackjack. I wonder if a table is "hot" for the players, if they will change the dealer frequently. The management comes up, it's SS from company 3, he demands for all the players to hand over our watches to him for inspection, I get outraged about this and say "I'd think because of our common employment history you'd be treating us a lot better," and he answers "Because of that, we're taking it easy on you."

      + playing basketball [DS], I'm on the court, make a short, it balances on the rim but doesn't go in, then I'm guarding a girl who has the ball and put my hand up (I see it, missed DILD trigger), and say "it's hard to get a clear shot when there's a hand in your face", there's another guy now with the ball beyond her and I imagine that I could step up and slap the ball away if he tries to take a shot. I'm standing around freakishly tall players (like 3 meters), there are several of them, I think how could anyone my size possibly guard guys this tall in a game, it's impossible. I look at their tall and slightly distorted bodies, their stomachs are poking out a bit. I'm with a coach or trainer of mine, he's setting up a step ladder and climbing up it, he comments about something "that it doesn't usually help."

      + vacuuming up crumbs in a living room around a couch, the carpet is white, I hear the clicking sound of the crumbs getting sucked up the vacuum's hose, I keep finding more, then I find a huge pile of fallen crackers/cookies I get embarrassed that I dropped these, my wife (?) comments about my having dropped them (tsk-tsking me?) and I say "I know I know" and I'm picking them up.

      + observing a fancy dinner party, waiters are bringing the last of the bottles of wine out to the guests, (there's a white wine, chilled and dripping condensation? and a red wine?), one guest gives me an odd salute with his wine glass by putting his whole face in the glass, the glass on top of his head, and slowly dragging the glass down his face before removing it, I think he's perhaps making fun of wine snobs?

      + In a (bathroom?) with a large/unwieldy set of scales the size and form of a printer, trying to stand on it (ceiling too low?), some guy makes wise-ass comments about it
    11. 2022-08-11 interrupted but better / longer sleep; mountain slide, quit drug running, squat yoke,

      by , 08-11-2022 at 06:53 AM
      bedtime 22:45 (?) - 23:00 (?) (not later)
      final OOB 08:00

      waking during the night, from the light level in the room, somewhere around 05:00-05:30 body feels very hot and I feel a bit out of breath
      Maintain drowsiness remains but not progressing towards sleep and mind starts kicking in.
      "Do not think", let go, a bit of Yoga Nidra cycle, adopt "I'm falling asleep at initial bedtime" and totally turn off, a bit of this works and fall asleep.

      New Attitude towards recall: observe, recall, but don't try to "force" dreaming. Welcome the dreams that come without particular expectation.

      Going to try out "I trust you" approach: I do the day work, I know my dreaming mind knows how to (lucid) dream, hand the ball over to my dreaming mind at night and be open and welcome to the experiences, but don't try to manage or control them.

      Lie without covers and body cools off and begin to feel drowsy again. Fall asleep eventually and a few dreams right before waking.


      + Climbing up a steep, rocky mountain with a group, turns into an out-of-control slide down long, slippery rocky slide/chutes, going off jumps and flying through the air thinking "Oh, f%^&!", I have no control of my trajectory and think I'll probably get smashed against the rocks
      The rock is colored in tones of red, orange, brown.

      + Waiting for the crowd around my boss (a famous politician?) to disperse so I can tell her I'm not going to be her cocaine mule any more. Indoors, Dark/twilight lighting [DREAM SIGN]

      + Trying to do squats with a very heavy iron frame/yoke on my back that my mentor gave me to try that had been hanging on a wall. I see it hanging on the wall in front of me, it is several parallel bars (rusty?) of metal with some space (seems too narrow?) to get your head in between. I put it on and turn away from the wall, and try to stand up. I feel the weight of it, and despite it being light enough for me to squat reasonably well in waking like (around 100 lbs) [I think this actually in the dream], I always teeter to one side and lose my balance when I stand up with it.


      + Sitting on and riding down a diagonally-vertically inclined store check-out belt heading towards the cashier at the bottom, the woman in front of me reaches out to the left and slams the "bypass" button. This enrages the (woman) cashier who screams "No f%^&in way am I scanning all of those items manually!" I advise the woman to call for the manager right when she demands to see the manager. Those two get into a fight and the customer woman becomes a man who starts beating up the cashier and calling her the "B" word, my sympathies shift to the cashier as I see how brutal the customer has become.

      + Observing scenes where (actor Chris Pine?) is tied up in various bondage scenarios (inside a car with lots of items, in a wheelbarrow being wheeled around?), there's a woman who is his captor, and a group of people, the group are talking about when they're going to release him, the captor indicates she has no intention of doing so soon.
      + climbing mountain, sliding down slide-like chutes out of control

      + walking behind mentor (female boss?), she's a drug dealer but I'm waiting for the crowd around her to disperse before confronting her and saying I will no longer work for her (?)
    12. 2022-08-10 couple short dream sequences, short sleep, little dreaming

      by , 08-10-2022 at 06:07 AM
      bedtime: 23:30
      little sandwiches, corn muffin, banana cherry thing before bed
      tried 1 500mg NAC before bed. Didn't have any effect on dreams, certainly not more vivid, if anything, less dreams recalled
      final OOB: 07:15
      final waking: 05:45 (probably earlier, this was just when I glanced at the clock)

      Get up for like 10 mins and sit in chair, doesn't really help get sleepy.
      Bed was decently comfortable and I was not too hot after taking off the comforter. Was very warm before doing that, though.

      + dark-ish/twilight lighting [DS] thinking about moving through a building, like a school, climbing first up to a high place outside the building, then entering through broken doors/openings down into the building. (Inside a room with people? -- vague)

      + in daylight(?) we are on bikes in the flatlands and need to get (home? with sister?) up to the hills. I think this will take a long time nonetheless and be a big effort. There are horses and they want to walk this route, it will help them from overheating. We are riding bikes straight ahead, in a pretty big group. There are a lot of muddy/slick places on the path, and my wheels slip and spin a lot, but I make progress. At some point there are water rations given out. The people in control of the water use a device like a black light scanner that they shine into your cup, and when they do this the light reveals (orange? green?) glyphs/runs inside the cup, I see these. They interpret the runes and then decide if you are allowed to have water. I'm pissed off at this affront to the liberty of having water whenever you want to, that shouldn't be controlled.

      + at work at company "N", I'm working on a project that I do not like, I ask my manager Sha.Cly. if I can move back to my original group, but she says that she does not have the free reqs to allow that.
    13. 2022-08-09 impossibly narrow shower, naked at the theater/competition

      by , 08-09-2022 at 06:42 AM
      + In a large group of guys in a shower room. There is one shower with a curtain which is occupied, and there's a line waiting for this one, and there's an open shower stall without a curtain right next to it on the right, I think why not, so I start to take a shower (?)

      At some point I'm looking at a REALLY narrow shower stall. Full height but about only a head's width. I'm really confused by this. I'm looking at it and trying to figure out how even to get inside, and once inside, to do anything like turn around, it looks impossible

      + At a large event in a theater with lots of people [DS], they're calling people/groups up to the stage to receive their awards, I realize I'm naked [DS], and decide I'd better get dressed fast before they call me/my group up to the stage. I'm frantically looking around for my underwear but can't find it. There is underwear of all kinds strewn around the floor, I start to look for pairs that will work but aren't mine necessarily.

      + [forgotten scenes -- vehicles? Fights? Canons? Tanks?]

      +[f] in a dark room [DS] watching (kids?) play on toy cars, they move via slippery sliding pads that slide over the floor, and the vehicle remains in place on the pads.
    14. 2022-08-08 mid and late morning dreams: donuts, car & naked guy, security, bts, ST

      by , 08-09-2022 at 06:32 AM
      Bedtime: 23:00
      meditation/calming 22:30-23:00 sitting in chair next to bed with mask on

      saw a lot of dreamlets while sitting in the chair relaxing

      woke around 05:00 with recall, delved and recovered more, but pretty wired awake. Took out earplugs so as to hear alarm. Mind wandering until about 06:00, decided to get serious about relaxation, put in earplugs because wife was noisy, wrapped t-shirt around head and then sleep mask on top, since it also covers the ears it helps keep it quiet. it's also more comfortable because the shirt is cotton and while the mask is silk the cushion inside is synthetic I'm sure.

      Mind still really jumpy. Can't settle on a meditation or visualization. Need to plan one ahead of time.

      Settled on Breathing relaxation, really focused on letting all tension go. Body scan from feet up to arms with relaxation, then began the yoga nidra track sequence, but stopping at each point to move awareness there and REALLY relax it with an inhale longer exhale. Didn't make it through the left side before falling asleep! Did a few half-assed SSILD cycles before that, too.

      + in bed, see Suz. Bunt.

      + sharing 3 concentric stacked huge donuts with the hugely fat woman

      final waking OOB 07:40

      + DJ MEO #1 2022-08-08 on mac notes
      Three scenes:
      - sitting outside back against building looking out over open field to sidewalk beyond, woman to my left? Brief ST?
      - woman invites me to priest's house, say I have other business, "yeah we all do", think maybe it's a good idea to go there.
      - meet a young blonde woman in a store (I know her?), she doesn't want to come with me and says so, I promise that "she goes first" and she agrees, she
      has a large triangular piece of foil-wrapped cheese with her, we're trying to decide if we should just shoplift it or pay for it, decide to pay, I hand her money to the
      cashier and return the change to her. I see a $5 note left on the check-out counter under the cash register drawer next to a yellow piece of (monopoly money?), and ask if that
      is ours as well. I'm in my sister's room with the girl on a twin bed on wheels in the middle of the room, I think we should move to the less-mobile beds on the walls of the room, she falls off to the left, laughs and says "I'm naked!" I answer "that's the idea!" and pull her up and engage with her <ahem>, she seems very sensitive but likes it, she says "that's better than before where you were just getting saliva all over me!". I look up and notice the open window is looking out on a busy city street with people standing there, I don't want them to look in [DS], go to close the blinds, notice a door right there leading in to the room from the outside and think my sister and brother in law could come home and catch us at any moment. I also notice an entrance to a mall/office building right there as well, I think we should move to my old room where we'll have privacy. I go back to the girl and I see that she is now dressed in a fancy red dress, I say "No, no, no!" (I don't want the ST to be over), she says "I bought this for <the later event?>," I see the price tag, I see "13,...." and think "Oh my god it cost $13,000?!?!?" I look again and think no, that's just 13 in <local currency>", wake up.
    15. 2022-08-03 sea of cubes, break in fight, office meeting, L spreads for the rude man to

      by , 08-03-2022 at 10:51 AM
      23:30 ?

      + [vague, fake?] coding program on computer

      + meet Dana(?) in sea of cubes at CS department, walk through them, see really fat guy in cube on computer with others

      + break in in Mart. apt.: I'm in my room in Mart. in R., and I see a bunch of my little trinkets lined up on the window sill, the window is partially opened. I pull some of them back (?) away from the window because I think someone may try to take them from the outside. A gang of hoodlums comes up to the window, climbs up on the wall outside the window, pull open the window, and enter my room. I scream at them "Get out of here! This is my place!" but they don't leave. I soon am fighting one or two of them, it's a vicious battle. I imagine I have a knife and cut the back of the neck of one of them. In the hallway outside the room on top of a tall cabinet one of them is bandaged and resting(?).
      [forgotten portion]. Outdoors, on the city streets, evening/dark lighting [DS!] I'm returning to my apartment, jogging through the streets. I pass a street vendor display table of sweets, like crunchy bizets, I think for a second, then pick a small piece up and start eating it and keep on running. Out of the corner of my eyes to my right I see the vendor (a woman?) tsk-tsking this bad behavior. I feel bad and stop and pay for what I ate (40 coins?), giving the explanation that "I was attacked earlier!" The vendor makes some response to this.

      + arrive to an office in morning, it is a sea of cubes [DS], say "good morning" (in English and F.L.) to many people as I walk through the hallways between the cubes, turning left and right at times. There is a woman who was waiting for me, saying I'm 30 minutes late. I'm teaching a class? I arrive at cube, it's full of students, some of which are sitting in the next cube but I can see them through the cube wall somehow (like it's partially transparent).

      + Standing outside a bathroom in a hallway with L. One guy enters the bathroom and I see he sits down to do his business, there are not stalls or doors, it's a fairly large room and he is sitting on the far wall way from the door. Then another guy enters the bathroom, the first guy complains, but the new guy is the owner of this bathroom so he's going to do what he wants to do, he sits on a toilet just to the left of the door, quite close by. I want to close the door so L (who has a very sensitive sense of smell) will not smell the results of their activities there.

      Then I'm sitting with L at a table (long picnic-style table? [DS]) , across from us is the rude man who owned the bathroom. He's bothering L. He sticks his finger into L's shoulder and sort of rubs it in. L pokes him back in the shoulder in the same way. I tell him very angrily and forcefully "DON'T TOUCH MY WIFE!!" when I say this, I get a sense of satisfaction from L, like she really likes it that I'm standing up for her like that. (She?) says she may be pregnant (from his finger poke?), and gets up naked (bottomless at least) on the table right in front of the rude guy and widely spreads her legs. She's doing this to mess with the guy. I'm shocked by this and say "good god, L, what are you doing!?" The guy fishes around in her <ahem> for a few seconds and pulls out something, some small cardboard object.

      I'm arriving to a room with L and some other people there, the rude man is now a wise judge, and the group is telling him about different kinds of reality checks you can do.
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