giraffe

(I promise you not all of my entries will be about nightmares, haha, just gotta get this one out of the way first.)

I was 8 and living in Wyoming at the time when I first had this nightmare, and it's the first nightmare I can remember (and like I said in my other posts I mostly have anxiety dreams, only have had 2 nightmares I can remember). I've had this come up when I was 8 twice (about 6 months after it first happened, right before I turned 9), again when I was 12 right after we moved to Nevada, and when I was 15 I had a dream that spotlighted a scene from this particular nightmare.

It's mostly in first person, which I rarely dream in. I'm my 8-year-old self, walking around my house in Wyoming like it's a regular old boring day. It's really sunny outside, so all the nights are turned off and all the fans are turned on. My sister's nowhere to be found, I assume she's at a friend's house or something. My parents are out in the backyard, so I find myself wandering the rooms looking around aimlessly. I go back in my room and find my doll, who turns out to be Cynthia, the same doll Angelica has in the Rugrats cartoon. I held her up, exaimined her, and then looked at my bed. Normally I had a few of my stuffed animals surrounding the pillows, but all of my stuffed animals had turned into dolls or stuffed humans. The moment I see these on my bed, the sky outside turns orange and thick, like there's a fire nearby. I glance at the window then glance at the door and run for the backyard. The sky is so thick it's almost red as I run out through the garage and patio onto the grass. There I'm horrified to see both of my parents are engulfed in flames. But what makes this less horrifying is that they are giant stuffed bears, almost like they're wearing mascot costumes. I know they are my parents, but I'm suddenly understanding that all humans are now stuffed bears and all stuffed animals are dolls or stuffed humans. My parents are running around in circles, screaming and on fire, making little footprint-shapes of fire on the grass which is starting more of the fire. I'm hearing dramatic music in the background that's telling me it's gonna get worse. I can't get my legs to move so I can get to them to help them. I'm screaming for them and going "No!" and all that dramaticness an 8-year-old can possess as she's seeing her parents go up in flames. As I'm screaming, I wake up, realizing my face is wet from crying and I'm mouthing the words "No, no no no..."

The waking up bit has happened each time I've had it until the dream I had at 15. The only thing I remember from it was that my parents were in it asking me "remember what happened 7 years ago?" and I have a little thought bubble pop over my head with the scene of my parents as giant stuffed bears screaming and running around on fire.

TA DA