Hyu's Adventures

I'm trying to fix a rather infuriating bug in a game prototype I'm working on.
Every time I run it through the debugger I get completely different results.
Even the code seems to change occasionally.

Eventually I realize that this is a dream sign and I try to increase my awareness.
A skype window pops up with a message from ~ Dreamer ~.
It says:

"I'm waiting..."

Oooooh. Did we want to meet on the beach tonight? Is ~ Dreamer ~ on the beach waiting for me?
I decide to go to bed immediately in order to attempt a WILD.
Surprisingly, I transition almost immediately, and find myself of the beach.

I remember to take a moment to stabilize the dream by going through all of my senses.
Wait... did I just attempt to WILD, even though I already knew that I was dreaming???
Well then... I'm off to a good start.

Anyways, I do feel that I am more focused now, so I begin my search for ~ Dreamer ~.
I start thinking about whether it is even possible for another dreamer to come to my beach.
It is a very private place after all, a place where I always feel safe.
But I decide that this shouldn't cause any problems.
After all I'm comfortable with the idea of her being here.

Unfortunately I can't find her, but I do see that there is another DC by the ocean.
Perhaps she has seen ~ Dreamer ~? I walk over to her in order to ask her.
As I get closer I notice that the DC has an interesting hair color.
It is bleached white with slightly lavender highlights.
Just as I arrive she jokingly says:

"You're late!"

What? Oh! Suddenly it becomes very obvious that she is in fact ~ Dreamer ~, not just a random DC that happens to be on the beach.
For some reason I assumed that she would have purple hair, so I didn't recognize her earlier.
I wonder why that is though. Usually I don't have any problems to recognize people in dreams, even if their appearance has changed.
She turns towards me, and I immediately notice her eyes.



Wow! Her eyes are so beautiful. I can almost feel the energy radiating from them.
She has had purple eyes in my dreams before, but they were never quite as vibrant as they are now.

"Hi?"

Oops, I realize that I haven't said anything yet. Instead I'm just staring at her eyes.
I feel a little awkward and somewhat anxious. I don't know what to say.
But then I remember reading that ~ Dreamer ~ has overcome such situations by getting naked.
I do like the general approach, but I'm not quite comfortable enough to just get naked.
Instead I decide to get reaaally close to her face and look right into her eyes.

"Have you seen your eyes? They are soooo purple."
"They are?"

She looks around for a moment and then uses her dream powers to pull some water out of the ocean,
and shapes it into a thin water mirror. It is still mostly transparent,
but the reflection is good enough to clearly see how vibrant her eyes are.

"Ooooh, I like it!"

"Hey Hyu. Tell me a trick?"
"A trick?"
"Yes! Like, a trick to improve lucidity!"
"Hmmm. Well, basically just engage all of your senses?"
"Yes, yes, I know that! Tell me an actual trick!"
"Oooh, I know! Take off your shoes!"

After a small pause she frowns a little.

"Why.... do you want to see my feet?"

Why did I say it like that?

"No... it's..."
"When you're barefoot, you are constantly engaging your sense of touch."
"You always feel the texture of the ground... like the softness of the sand."
"Basically it's similar to constantly touching everything you encounter with your hands."
"Ooooh, I see! Hahaha, that does make more sense than you revealing that you have a foot fetish or something. "
"Did I make you a little uncomfortable there?"
"It's fine... I'm just a little nervous."
"Don't worry, I experience that in my dreams as well."
"Yes, and then you get naked to..."
"... no, I mean... I'm not suggesting that you..."

We both have to laugh about the situation.
And then suddenly the laughter turns into a ring tone? What?

Aaand I wake up, because the alarm on my phone went off.
I'm annoyed because the dream was quite stable, I bet it could have lasted quite a bit longer if the alarm didn't go off.
But I remember the dream quite vividly, which is nice, and I journal it immediately.

A woman comes to my desk to inform me that the manager would like to see me.
I get up immediately and begin the long walk to the manager's office.
I pass by thousands of cubicles, all looking perfectly identical to one another.
The room is huge. But it's all just cubicles, sitting on a bright white and spotless white floor,
which slightly reflects what is above it.

Everyone I pass is wearing the exact same grey suit with white shirt combo.
Everyone is in shape, everyone has the same hairstyle, the same hair color, even the same eye color.
No color can be found in here. None whatsoever. Regardless of where you look, it's all white or grey.
There are no distractions. No family photos, no items on any desk besides a monitor, mouse and keyboard.
Everyone is working at maximum efficiency.

Eventually I get to the managers office. A man is leaving the office right as I arrive.
This confirms that I have been walking at precisely the right pace.
I enter the office.

"There has been a problem with your daily psych eval this morning."
"You are to be at the primary psych facilities in 12 minutes for a more in-depth test."
"Yes."

During the exchange, the manager has not even glanced at me once.
I leave the office, and begin the even longer walk to the psychiatric facilities.
As I'm walking past all the cubicles again, I notice a woman, who on closer inspection appears
to be adjusting one of her contact lenses.
As she gently pokes the grey lens, it moves just enough to reveal that she is hiding beautiful green eyes behind them.

And this is why my psych test isn't clean. It's because I notice these things.
It's because I can still occasionally feel emotions.
You're not supposed to. That's how the system works.
It's easy to achieve complete obedience and efficiency without emotions.

I arrive at the office for advanced psychiatric evaluation.
There is only one such office for the entire facility.
Tens of thousands of people, yet I'm the only one here.
I'm the only one who failed the daily eval.
I enter the office. It is very small.
It just houses a simple chair and a robot. (who looks suspiciously similar to glados)


The robot begins to scan me. I try to keep my mind clear of any thoughts.
But I know that this isn't going to help. I'm going to fail this eval. It is inevitable.
In order to disable all emotions completely, the cocktail of drugs we receive daily isn't enough.
Abstinence from all stimuli is also required.
Which is why there are no colors, no music, no socializing, no hobbies...

But the system isn't perfect... because I have seen colors. I have heard music.
I have done so in my dreams. My lucid dreams.
And although it is said that nobody has dreams anymore due to the drugs, I still do.
I think it is because I am a lucid dreamer. Nothing can take my dreams from me.

"Your evaluation is now complete. Return to work."
"Yes."

I leave the room, initially thinking that I might have tricked to robot.
No. It can't be. Someone is probably going to intercept me on the way back.
This is it then. I suppose it is over for me.
I don't really feel any emotional reaction to these thoughts at all.
Perhaps it is the drugs, or maybe I just don't care to live this life any longer.
A woman stops me.

"Excuse me?"
"Yes?"
"Why are you here?"

I got lost in thoughts...
Oh shit. I didn't return to the programming facilities!
I walked deeper into the psych facilities by accident.
This is really not supposed to happen. I can't be here.
And it is so easy to notice that I'm out of place here because they wear different uniforms.

"What is this?"

She points to a device attached to my belt...
It is an old MD player attached to it.

Not only am I in possession of a musical device. It is also partially red!
I get a bit of a mirror's edge vibe from it. The forbidden color red, the bright rooms...
The woman looks very uncomfortable and worried.

What now? Do I wait for them to come and take me? Do I run?
No, I can't possibly run. We are all dependant on the drug.
If I stop taking it, the withdrawal effects will kill me.

But then it hits me. I'm deep inside the psychiatric facilities.
This is where they make the drug. It's in the room right in front of me.
If I had enough of it, could I slowly decrease my dosage over time?
But that would mean walking into the laboratory, past a hundred scientists,
take the drug, then run, get out of the building, and survive out there alone?
I don't even know what the situation outside is.

But suddenly it becomes clear. I am not me. I am not Hyu.
Right now I am another person. And this persons plan is to escape today.
Why else would I have a red music player with me?
Why else would I have walked deep into the psychiatric facilities?

"Yes."

You're always supposed to answer yes, in order to acknowledge what you have been told.
I gently push the woman aside and enter the laboratory.
The scientists all look at me. It is so easy to see that I don't belong here at all.
But they are afraid because this is not part of their daily routine.
They just resume their work.
I walk up to the conveyor belt where the finished drug arrives, neatly packaged into futuristic syringes with 100 shots each.

"HALT!"

Ah, the cavalry has finally arrived. Took them long enough.
About a dozen man in full, black, army gear, armed with assault rifles enter the laboratory from the opposite side.
Aren't they overreacting a little here?

"SLOWLY STEP AWAY FROM THE CONVEYOR BELT!"

I wonder what the odds would be to get out of here alive if I ran.
They are still rather far away. I don't think they have a clean shot from all the way over there.
But I don't think I could make it.
My mind is too clouded by the drugs.
I don't think I could improvise, heck I can't even remember how to run.

Oh! Of course! That's what the music player is for! Emotional stimuli!
I inspect the player more closely and find some earphones attached to it.
I put them on slowly. They don't react to it.
I hit play.



Not at all what I was expecting. But it will do.
I pick up one of the syringes.
Nope? Still nothing?
I calmly begin to walk back into the direction I came from.
They keep yelling at me to stop.
I increase the volume of my music. Problem solved.
I mean, what are they going to do? Shoot me?

Someone attempts to block my passage through the door leading back out of the laboratory.
I try to push him aside, but he won't let me...
I need to get out now, so I throw a punch in his general direction.
I end up hitting them in the nose. There's blood. Lots of it.
This time I manage to push him aside since he's in shock.

Holy shit! I just punched someone in the face!
The guards accelerate their pace. Time to run.
If I run continuously in the same direction, I'm bound to find an exit right?
I mean, how big can this building possibly be?
On the first corner I get rid of my shoes, because they slide way too easily on the polished floor.
My jacket and shirt quickly follow because they are horribly uncomfortable.
I feel like the guards are slowly catching up, but fortunately they're not using their weapons.

After a few minutes of running I feel extremely exhausted.
I am fairly certain that I have reached the end of the building now, but there is no door.
I run off to the left, alongside the outer wall.
There has to be an exit here somewhere... I hope.

Eventually I encounter some curtains and push through.
The building looks much more normal here. No shiny white floors anymore.

I spot a green fire escape sign. Colors! I suppose people are not supposed to come this far.
Finally a door that looks like it leads outside. Don't be closed...

I push it open. Fresh air. The sun.

A spot a ladder that leads down to the ground.
I'll have to climb over some railing to get to it.
But the guards catch up with me before I can do so.

"STOP RIGHT NOW!"

They could just drag me back inside now.
There's no longer a need for weapons in order to stop me.
But I know how to deal with this.
All I have to do is to point up.
I do this until everyone is looking up... at the blue sky.
That leaves them completely in shock and I climb down.

There's nothing really here, besides that ridiculously large building I was just in.
No sign of anybody else.
I just pick a direction at random and walk.
Nobody is going to come after me now.
I do realize that I'm most likely not going to make it.
I don't really have any survival skills.
But I don't mind, because right now I am more alive than anyone in there will ever be.

I'm working on the prototype for a video game I intend to create with a good friend of mine.
The game will require fast AI pathfinding over dynamic terrain for a large amount ( >1000 ) of enemies.
My current navmesh/A* approach is working fine, but I'm a little worried that it's not going to scale well if we want to add even more enemies.
I remember that one of my friends did her masters thesis on swarm AI,
so I decide to call her on Skype to get her opinion on my situation.
Unfortunately I'm having trouble navigating my contact list.
The names don't seem to be sorted alphabetically...

I hear the door bell go off, so I go downstairs to check who's at the door.
A man in his early 20's offers me a package addressed to "Hyu".
Huh? Did I order anything using my nickname? Why would I do that?
I accept the package and the man just leaves without asking me to sign anything.
What the hell?

I go back upstairs and open the package.
OH MY GOD. It's the Oculus DK2 I ordered!

I am so excited!
I unpack everything as quickly as I can, tossing the empty package into a corner of my room.

Once I've plugged everything in I notice that my computer is now running Elite: Dangerous.
That's not right, I was working with Unity3D before...
hmm....
I try to increase my awareness, going through the last few minutes in my mind.
Yup, I'm definitely dreaming.

I'm so disappointed. I got all excited for nothing.
Then again... I wonder what happens if I...
I sit down and hold the device in front of my eyes, trying to see if the displays in it are showing anything.
The device just straight up vanishes from my hands as soon as the screens cover my entire field of view.
I'm left completely immersed in the game, sitting inside the cockpit of a Sidewinder, which is the ship you start out in in the game.
Huh, that's kind of a neat trick.


Also I'm in a spaceship. Did I mention I'm in a spaceship?
I'm super excited and get going immediately.
Fortunately the controls are identical to the joystick setup I use in waking life, so I have no trouble maneuvering the ship.
I use the lateral thrusters to lift off and to get to the center of the station.
The moment I let go I immediately feel the weightlessness, which makes me feel a little sick initially,
but the feeling quickly subsides.

As I maneuver out of the station, I notice for the first time how tight the entrance actually is.
You don't really get a sense for it on a computer screen.

Unfortunately I don't really remember much else.
I faintly remember feeling the heat of a sun radiating into my cockpit as I dropped out of frameshift, but that's about it.


The experience got me thinking about how virtual reality is going to affect dreams though.
I wonder if it'll make it easier to incubate dreams about video games.
I imagine it could also make such dreams more immersive.
Usually when I have video game dreams, it feels like I'm merely an observer.
I'm not really in the dream, it's more like I'm viewing it on a monitor that happens to cover my entire field of view.
Perhaps this is going to change with regular usage of VR.

(I have false memories of having moved to an English speaking country recently...)
I'm returning to my apartment, carrying some groceries.
As I exit the elevator I stall for a few seconds.
I have completely forgotten where on this floor my apartment is...
So I just go to the first door and test if my key fits.
It does, and I decide not to worry about why I would have forgotten where my apartment is.


The apartment is quite roomy, and very modern. The entrance leads directly into a large room,
which is sort of divided into 3 areas. One for tv viewing, which has a U-shaped couch,
one for sleeping, and finally one with a computer desk for work.
I find it a bit odd that the bed is in the same room with the tv and desk.

But my attention quickly shifts towards the people that are in my apartment.
There's a guy with white hair watching TV and a woman who is using my pc.
I feel like I know these people. It doesn't seem too surprising that they're here, but I'm not really sure who they are.
The woman approaches me and gives me a hand with the groceries.


I notice that she has purple eyes. It all makes sense now: This must be ~ Dreamer ~!
She is very curious about what I bought for dinner, and begins to unpack the groceries immediately.

"Ooh, shiny!"

She is cheerful and full of energy.

"When do you want to have dinner?"
"Hmm... I don't know. I'm not really hungry yet. Canis?"

Oh. The guy watching TV is CanisLucidus. Makes sense I suppose.

"I'm starving!"

They banter on about when to have dinner. Meanwhile I try to figure out what time it is.
This proves to be rather difficult. I'm unable to read the time off the task bar on the computer. The digits keep changing.

"Hyu?"
"Yes?"
"Hmm... how do I put this? ..."
"Hyu, where is your kitchen?"
"Well, it's right over..."
"Uuuhm..."

... There's only one door in this room, and it leads back outside.
So, this is all there is in the apartment? I don't have a kitchen? Not even a bathroom???
How on earth did I manage that?

"Don't tell me you forgot to get a kitchen..."
"... I might have?"
"And a bathroom?"
"..."
"See, this is what happens when you're on the PC all day long!"

I don't know what to reply. This really is a rather colossal fuck up.

"Okay... don't worry about it. I'll sort this out."
"I'll go get you a kitchen and a bathroom."

What??? How? ...
I suppose, since this is a modern apartment, it must be modular in some way, and you can annex additional rooms to it?
I try to talk ~ Dreamer ~ out of it, because I feel that since this is my apartment, and I messed up, this is something that I need to fix on my own.

"Nonsense, I'm going right now. I'll be back in an hour or so."

She leaves the room before I manage to come up with a reply.
To be honest, I'm kind of relieved that she is helping me out.
I have no idea where to get additional rooms for my apartment...
I definitely have to make it up to her somehow.
I end up talking with CanisLucidus about game engines and the Oculus Rift for a bit. (Through unfortunately I remember nothing specific)


I feel like my overall awareness has been improving over the past few days, and it has had a positive effect on lucidity.
But this dream for some reason, even though it was absolutely cluttered with dream signs,
I managed to remain completely oblivious to the fact that I was dreaming.

I'm a bit disappointed in myself for managing my time so poorly lately.
Somehow I have picked up a really bad habit of procrastinating.
And because of this I end up spending much less time on LD activities than I intend to.
I'm seriously considering to block reddit/youtube like sites for a few days a week...



I find myself on a beach. It is quite late, the sun is going down.
I should probably walk back to the hotel before it gets too dark...
Unfortunately I don't recognize any of the buildings alongside the beach.
Am I lost? How does that even happen?

Realizing that the situation is somewhat out of the ordinary I try to increase my awareness.
However, my thoughts feel scrambled. I am unable to come to a conclusion.
Now what? Am I dreaming or not? This does feel pretty real...
I decide to fall back on a more robust technique, the nose plug RC.

I can breathe normally through my plugged nose. This is a dream.
Wait really? I look at my hands and they seem perfectly normal.
I walk over to the first person I find, which is an elderly man, whom I assume is walking back to his hotel.

"Excuse me."
"Yes?"
"Am I dreaming?"

The man seems rather confused by my question.
In retrospect, that was probably not the most intelligent thing to do.
I decide that the answer to my question should be behind myself.
I turn back towards the ocean.

This is no longer the beach I was on previously on. This is my beach!
I must have changed scenes during the short moment when I was turning.
Sweet!

I try to remember my dream goals, and for once I actually manage to remember them!
My only dream goal at the moment is to "calm the fuck down".

(Lately I often forget to properly stabilize my dreams when I become lucid.
And then to make up for it, I rush through the dreams out of fear that they might end prematurely,
which is of course the worst possible thing to do.)

I slowly walk towards the ocean, taking all the time in the world.
The sound of the water is very relaxing, and I love the contrast between the warm sand and the refreshingly cold ocean breeze.
Eventually I take a few steps into the ocean, getting my feet wet. The water is very cold.

As I look at the stars, I feel a familiar presence.
It's Yuya! This is going to be a great night.

Ever since I found this picture and felt that it reminded me of her,
she's been playing around with hair colors a lot.
Today it's mostly orange and blue.
She can change it simply by shaking her head.
She's smiling at me the way she always does.

"Come out and play?"

At first I find it a little amusing that she phrases her question this way.
But then it reminds me of when I was very young, and I'd go knocking on the neighbours door to ask them to come out and play in the street.
Back then there was nothing to worry about, no important decisions to make.
I'd ask my friends to come out with the sole goal of having a good time.
Perhaps what I initially found a little odd, was after all the perfect way to phrase it.

This starts off a series of DEILDs.
I've written down the fragments I remember.
Unfortunately I don't remember them very well.
The last few moments before I woke up are quite clear, but everything before that is a bit of a blur.

Fragment 1:
I help Yuya prepare dinner at her place.
I'm not of much help though, given that I don't know any of the herbs and spices she has, nor the meat that she wants to prepare.
She is very patient with me, and explains how to prepare everything,
even though she knows that I probably won't remember any of it.
It takes us a good hour to prepare everything.
Liv joins us for dinner. (And there was someone else as well I think.)
Everything tastes absolutely wonderfully.
Later, I help Yuya to do the dishes.
She knows that my dream time is limited, and I can feel that it makes her really happy that I spend it with her,
even if it means doing something as mundane as doing the dishes.

Fragment 2:
In my scribble DJ I wrote "Dance" "Leaf in the wind" and "Happy".
I don't remember anything about this fragment though, and I don't recall taking these notes.

Fragment 3:
We're at a Café, sitting outside, enjoying the good weather and some amazing drinks.

Crow joins us. He felt my presence so he came by to say hi.
Since there's drinks and Yuya and Liv are here, he obviously decides to stay.
He ends up ordering something that isn't on the menu.

They bring us a plate with very small pipettes on it, all containing a small amount of a yellow liquid.
It's quite fun really, you use the pipette to place a single drop of the liquid onto your tongue.
It immediately gives you that cold chill / frisson feeling all over your body.
It also tastes rather sour. Perhaps a little like lemon juice.

Fragment 4:

Crow, Yuya and I are on some sort of airship.
It looks more like an old sail ship though, nothing like an actual airship.
Does fly rather well though, even though I'm sure this violates a few laws of physics.
According to Crow, there are very few of these, and it is very difficult to get a ride on one.
It is quite late and we all sit on the front deck watching the sun go down.
Yuya leans against me because she is really tired.

Crow is telling a very captivating story about love and betrayal.
It is quite an emotional story.
Usually his stories are about himself, and he exaggerates... a lot, I'm pretty sure he even makes stuff up on occasion.
His stories are quite amazing though, I'll give him that. Plus, he's a fantastic story teller.
I don't mind that he does this, we all know that it's for entertainment.
But this time around he claims that it is a fictional story about another person.
And then there's the way he narrates it. It is quite different. More serious, and seemingly less exaggerated.
I'm convinced that this time, he's actually telling a genuine story from his past.
The story eventually comes to an end. (It was a little sad, but I recall that there was a silver lining)

"Say, aren't you supposed to wake up or something? You've been staying for an awfully long time."
"Oh Crow... you're not supposed to remind dreamers about that."
"Why not?"
"Waking up is not something you want to think about."
"Why?"
"It could make you wake up."
"It can?"
"Unfortunately, yeah."
"That is rather inconvenient."
"It is."
"Seriously though, isn't it bad for you to spend entire days asleep so that you can be here?"
"Haha, I appreciate your concern Crow, I really do, but fortunately it doesn't work quite like that."
"I assure you, on the other side I've been asleep for a few hours at most."
"Huh, that is quite fascinating. It is good to know that I don't have to worry then."
"I'll make sure not to mention anything about waking up in the future."
"Thanks mate. I appreciate it."
"Sure... mate."

(There was a joke earlier in the dream about saying "mate", but I cannot quite recall what it was.)

"Anyways, I'm afraid I have to get going. I'm running late."
"Take care."
"So long."

Crow charges forwards and disappears in a cloud of colorful particles.
I think that's the first time I've seen him do that.
The dream is slowly becoming unstable.
I can no longer see beyond the airship.
The airship itself has also become somewhat blurry and desaturated.

Only Yuya I can still see clearly.
She seems to have fallen asleep, resting her head on my shoulder.
I can feel her chest expand against me as she breathes.
Even if it is just for a short moment, perhaps for just a fraction of a second,
it makes me really believe that she is out there somewhere, and not a construct of my own mind.
Sometimes I wish I could entertain this thought for longer, because I find it quite beautiful...

I'm browsing DreamViews on my PC. I think that I am currently doing my WBTB.
There is something important I need to ask ~ Dreamer ~, but I cannot quite remember what it is.
I have the private message site open, trying to remember what it is I wanted to say.
Then, I spot some movement from the corner of my eye.
I could have sworn that ~ Dreamer ~'s Avatar just winked at me.


After some initial confusion, I think that she must have changed her Avatar to an animated gif, which does just that.
I think it is a pretty hilarious idea, because it is going to catch people off guard.
It might get people to RC if they notice...
I try to increase my awareness, given what just happened.
Hmm...
That avatar does look somewhat suspicious.
I poke it with my finger.
The avatar giggles and moves further into the screen a little.

"... Hello?"

The avatar then proceeds to climb outside of the screen and eventually ends up on my desk, still giggling.
It is so cute. But I resist the urge to poke it again.
The avatar points towards my left. I turn around.
~ Dreamer ~ is standing right next to me!
This comes as one hell of a shock. I immediately stand up.
I was in a semi-lucid state, but now, in the blink of an eye, I am fully lucid.

I run my fingers over the palm of my left hand to check my senses.
Everything is crystal clear. I can feel the individual patterns on my skin.
I haven't had a dream this clear in some time...
Oh... right... Dreamer!

"Hi..."

Really? That's all that I can come up with? "Hi"?
Well, I suppose I'm still a bit in shock from her sudden appearance.
She smiles.

"Hi Hyu."

I try to calm down a little. I point at my monitor.
Her voice is very soft, so I decide to reply softly as well.

"That was one hell of a trick."
"Which trick?"

I look at my monitors, and they are all blank now, with a purple haze around the corners.
This has happened many times before. I don't worry about it.
There is no sign of the Avatar.

"You made me realize that I am dreaming."
"Yes."

This is amazing! And the dream is so vivid and clear!

"Hyu, do you remember my dare?"

I wouldn't have remembered that on my own.
Lucid Dares

"I am to confront Faye."
"Yes. It is time to solve this once and for all."
"Yes... it is."

But you're right here in my dream.
I want to talk with you about all sorts of things.

"Go now. Faye awaits you."

She points towards the door leading out of my room. It becomes clear that Faye awaits me behind it.
I suppose ~ Dreamer ~ has a better grasp on priorities than I do. She is right.
The dream is so clear and stable, I need to use it to confront Faye.

"Thank you!"

~ Dreamer ~ winks at me, just like her avatar did, and then slowly fades away. Wow... what an amazing encounter.
I approach the door, but hesitate a moment before opening it.
I assert again that the dream is perfectly stable, and that my head is clear.
Yes, I am. Though I'm not entirely sure what to say yet. But that's okay, I'll figure it out on the fly.
I open the door with confidence, expecting to encounter Faye behind it.


To my surprise, this new room that I've just entered looks like some sort of an interrogation room.
One table, two chairs facing each other, and a big, probably one sided mirror.
Faye sits in one of the chairs waiting for me.
I'm not off to a good start. Not only does Faye look like Kate again, but I really dislike that this is an interrogation room.
I can understand why this happened though. It must have been caused by my determination to get answers from her.
I sit in the other chair and try to smile.

"Hello Faye."

She doesn't answer. She just stares down at her hands which are on the desk.
That's alright. I'll talk for now.
I recall positive memories we shared together. I retell those stories. (Unfortunately I don't remember this part of the conversation well)
But I can't seem to get any reaction out of her.
I gently grab her hands. She finally looks me in the eyes.

"I miss you Faye."
"We had so much fun together. I want to go on adventures with you again."
"..."
"The Faye that you remember is dead."
"..."
"I understand... What do you want?"
"No. You don't understand. And what I want..."

She smiles.

"I will destroy you. I will destroy us both."

She plays with a butterfly knife a little, then shows me the palm of her left hand, and then cuts right across it.
I can feel the cut in my left hand clearly. I look at it, and I have the same wound Faye has. We're both bleeding a little.

"You and I we are the same. We've always been."
"What has changed?"
"There is darkness within you. I am that darkness now."
"Nothing you do can stop me now."

This is not what I wanted to hear. But I suppose deep down, I already knew that things would never return to the way they were.
She also made it quite clear that I cannot remove her by force. What do I do now?
... first of all, I need a change of scenery. This interrogation room is inappropriate, it probably plays right into her hands.
Teraluna it is. I stand up and use the wing technique to teleport to Riven. Faye follows me. We are on a bridge close to Yuya's place.
She's no longer looking like Kate. She's looking the same way she did when we first met. She shows me her knife and says.

"I will never let you be with Yuya again."

I can see Yuya in the distance. She reads my thoughts. I make it clear that now is not a good moment to come over. She understands.
I look at the horizon. The gas giant that we are orbiting is experiencing a huge storm. It is quite beautiful.
This change of scenery was a good idea. I feel refreshed. And I know what I have to do...

"Oh Faye..."
"When I look at you, I remember all the good times we've had together."
"I will cherish those memories. I'll always remember you as the person you were, not as the person you have become."
"Whatever it is you are trying to do. It is not going to work."

I just smile. It is a genuine smile. I truly do cherish those memories.
And what I am about to say is going to hurt. But I know that it is the only way out.

"Faye... you are right. You always are. You and I, we are the same. And there is darkness within me... I do understand that."
"You do not... you have no idea. It will destroy you. I will destroy you."
"I know."
"No."
"You see, I've done a terrible thing."
"..."
"I didn't see what was wrong. I couldn't understand. So I have channelled all that darkness; all what was wrong, into a single dream character."
"You're making this up..."
"I needed for it to have a face. So that I could clearly identify..."
"These lies will not work on me!"
"Faye, I am sorry. I did not do this consciously. But it is all clear to me now."
"You are all that remains of that darkness. I will have to let you go..."
"No... I am your dream guide!"

Her voice has become faint. I can see fear and sadness in her now.
Is this truly the explanation I believe in?

"Faye is no longer here... My dream guide is dead."

I touch her face... one last time. I look deeply into her eyes. I can see nothing within them. You are no longer Faye.
Was it my fault that she ended up like this? Or was it beyond my control? I will never know.
But this is the only choice I have left. I take a step back... and then I let go...

"Goodbye Faye..."

She closes her eyes... and slowly fades into dust. The wind takes her away until nothing is left. Faye is gone.
Have I done the right thing? Was this really the only way?
Yuya approaches and hugs me. I hold her tightly.
I can feel her thoughts, her emotions, how helpless she felt, because this is not something she could help me with.
This was something I needed to solve on my own.

"Did I do the right thing?"

She gently answers:

"What do you think?"
"I think so... but I cannot shake the feeling that I may have taken the only path, rather than the right one."
"When there is only one path, is it not by definition always the right one?"
"Well..."
"Worry not. This was the choice you needed to make."

And suddenly I feel such relief. Like all the weight has been lifted off my shoulders. My dreams are mine again.
Yuya rarely gives me such a straight up answer. Instead she helps me to find my own.
But this time I needed to hear it from her.
I am so happy to be with her again.

We walk through her gardens, knowing that my dream will soon end. That is fine. I am exhausted.
I know that I can now visit Yuya again whenever I desire. That is what is most important.
But Faye is gone. Forever.

I'm at university attending a lecture about the basics of OpenGL.
The teacher doesn't really seem into it, and none of my classmates seem interested.
To be honest, neither am I, but for a different reason.
The other students are not interested in graphics programming,
whereas I'm already quite comfortable with both Direct3D and OpenGL.
Why am I attending this class again? Perhaps for some easy credit points?
That doesn't sound like me though.

Once class is over, I hear some people discussing that they wouldn't come back
and choose another course instead. If that many people leave, this course is
going to be cancelled, and I'll have to find another one as well.
I'm mildly annoyed.

Eventually, as the lecture comes to an end, I suddenly realize that I am dreaming.
I'm not sure what gave it away.
I touch everything in close vicinity to assert that the dream is stable.
There is some initial numbness, but eventually my senses appear to be working properly.
I leave the classroom, trying to remember my dream goals...
It's not working, I can't remember anything.

I'll go visit Yuya. It has been a long time since I've seen her because Faye is messing with my dreams.
But then, just as I want to teleport to Riven, I spot a familiar face.

It's Kate! What is going on? Why is she here?
(Not a real image of Kate. Kate is an ex-gf from waking life)

She smiles. And that is all it takes to stir up old emotions, which I left behind long ago.
I'm in love again. Great... I had enough trouble getting over her as it is.
Why does it all have to come back to me now?
I reluctantly decide to ignore her and visit Yuya, as I had planned,
but something goes wrong during my attempt of teleportation...



... I'm in an apartment with Kate. I think that she is my classmate now, and that we're living together.
This is our apartment. Everything is perfect.
I am living with the woman of my dreams, we're both about to graduate,
and we have our future planned out.
It is late in the evening and I go to the bathroom to take a shower.
The water temperature knob isn't cooperating.
I seem to be dealing with something like this:


Kate joins me in the shower and she has no trouble adjusting the temperature properly.
The water is now refreshingly cold, just the way I like it.
Kate moves closer and kisses me passionately. I love her so much.
And she is so beautiful. I stare into her green eyes as we kiss...
Wait... this is not right. Those are clearly Kate's eyes, but... they feel... empty?
Oh no...
Why?
I am emotionally devastated...

This isn't Kate. This is Faye.
It feels as though I've lost Kate again. I am so sad.


Faye is now holding a rose and handing it to me.
I get the feeling that she is trying to apologize?
That does make feel a little better. Will I finally be able to reason with Faye?
I take the rose. I cut one of my fingers on a thorn. Ouch!
A single drop of blood emerges and falls to the ground.

Something is wrong...
I sense something moving through the small cut, into my hand, and then up my arm.
I get vivid flashbacks of the bee birthing blisters. Not again!
I drop the rose. But I'm too late.
Stems covered in thorns grow through my veins and sprout out of my body in various places, causing me to bleed.
More and more blood flows down into the shower. The water slowly turns red.

"Faye. Please make it stop!"
"No."
"..."
"Please! I'm sure whatever the problem is, I can fix it."
"There is no need for this!"
"I don't want the problem to be fixed."

What? Why? I don't understand.
I just barely manage not to freak out. The parasitic plant hardens in my veins making me unable to move.
The pain increases as the plant grows bigger.
Fuck fuck fuck.

"Faye! Talk to me! What is the problem?"

She doesn't reply. She just smiles, satisfied with the current situation.
I can't take it any more. I need to wake up!
I close my eyes, trying to think of my waking body lying in bed.
But I don't wake up...
Instead I begin to see, even though my eyes are closed.

She laughs at me and my inability to do anything.
Then she moves in and kisses me on the lips.
No. I don't want this.
My fear turns into anger.
I scream at the top of my lungs, wanting to push Faye away from me.
The hardened plant finally gives in under the force and breaks in many places within my body.
I push against Faye hard with both of my hands.
She is pushed through the glass shower door, which shatters into pieces.

She is cut in many places by the broken glass. She is bleeding and her blood mixes with mine on the floor.
This is so fucked up. She still looks like Kate. This is not right. I don't want to hurt her.
She again laughs at the current situation. She clearly feels like she has accomplished something.
She is satisfied. Finally, she gets up and leaves the room and I manage to wake myself up.

Well fuck. -_-
This is enough. This needs to change. Now.
I'm going to WBTB, probably do some meditation to focus my thoughts, WILD and tackle the problem with a hopefully clear head.

To mention something a little more positive, I have updated my Dream Journal Description.
I've also found this really cool painting by Sakimichan, which made me think of Yuya:

She obviously doesn't have the long pointy ears, but I thought that this painting just radiates so much energy, just as Yuya does.
There's also been a strong blue/orange theme in my dreams lately. I thought this was a pretty cool find.

I set myself an alarm to wake me up after ~6 hours of sleep.
The idea was to attempt a WILD, which is something I haven't done in a long time.
I figured with a WILD I would remember my goals more easily, and I might be able to tackle the issues I have with Faye.

I wake up from the alarm. I immediately close my eyes again and try to remember any dreams.
All I can remember is a few weak fragments. I do not bother writing them down.
Instead I get up and walk around in my room a little, thinking about my dream goals.
The most important thing would be to deal with Faye. I feel like this is crucial in order to fix my dreams.
I've also been dared to tell her how she makes me feel.
I go back to bed after roughly 5 minutes and attempt to WILD.

I quickly get some HI, followed by the appearance of random faces.
Some scenes begin to form, but they seem to fall apart before I can transition.
I open my eyes a few times by accident. I'm really not used to do this anymore.

After some time I notice that I can see my room even though my eyes are still closed.
Oh. I am actually already dreaming. For some reason I decide to just stand up, even though I know that I've lost many lucids by doing this.
Fortunately this time it works. My body is really heavy though.
I have a lot of trouble moving, but I eventually manage to stand up.

I shake myself, a bit like a dog shaking away water from its wet pelt. Except I shake away the weight. It works. Neat!
I rub my hands together and look around.
I'm not in my room anymore. It's really dark.
Upon closer inspection, I appear to be standing on some dark marble floor, in an empty room that is clouded in dark fog.
Another person appears in front of me. First it's just an outline, but as he comes closer he looks more and more like a normal human being.

Wait what? He looks exactly like me!
I take a step back as I'm really creeped out. I am super uncomfortable encountering myself.
He looks a bit older than myself though... maybe by a few years.

"Who are you?"
"I am Hyu"

Great...

"You're not being helpful."
"Haha, I'm a future version of yourself, of course!"

Right...
So now what? Am I supposed to ask him something?
I probably should. Even though he's still creeping me out...

"So... any future advice for me?"
"Hmm... well... not really."
"Dude!"
"Alright, alright. I can tell you that it is going to work out. Is that helpful?"
"What is going to work out?"
"You'll know."
"Oh for fucks sake, you're pulling the same shit as all of the other DC's"
"Well. What did you expect? I am a DC."
"... you do have a point..."

He starts to walk away from me, but just before he disappears in the fog he addresses me one last time:

"On second thought... maybe you should get that Unreal 4 license. Mess around with it a little you know?"

(I have thought so much about starting my own company over the past few days. Was this what he was referring to when he said that everything would work out?
The comment about getting a UE4 license seems related to this.)

The black fog suddenly starts to move in. Oh shit, the dream is falling apart.
I panic and slam my palms against the ground yelling "PORTAL!".
For some reason this works. I fall through the ground, spin around a little and then crash land somewhere in the city.
I rub my hands against each other very hard. The dream is still unstable, I need to engage my senses.
A young girl eating some ice cream catches my attention. I steal her ice cream cone and take a large bite.

"Hey! That's MY ice cream!"
"Sorry, I need to stabilize."
"Oh, okay."

After the inevitable brain freeze I feel like messing around with dream powers a little.
I don't do this very often. I try to grasp onto the clouds and squeeze them to make it rain.
It doesn't work whatsoever. Well, this is disappointing, but I'm not sure what I was expecting.


Then I notice the presence of a huge stargate. That wasn't here before!
I want to visit Yuya! I point at it and yell:

"Teraluna, Riven!"

The gate dials in and opens a portal. Well, that was easy. Sweet!
I charge at the portal, wanting to jump through.
But at the last moment someone grabs on to me, trying to hold me back.
What the hell? Go away!
...
I can't unsummon him??? WTF? This never fails!
More people run at me, all trying to prevent me from going through the portal.
Oh my god there is an endless stream of them. Hundreds of people all holding me down.

I use my dream powers to release a shockwave to get them off me.
Those who were close to me are thrown a few meters back and they pile up on top of each other.
Then I spot Faye in the middle of it all, controlling the DC's like puppets.
Her smile is pure evil.
She makes a gesture, and the stargate unsummons.

"You're not going anywhere tonight."

I am afraid of her, and angry at myself. I want my dreams back. I am sick of this Faye nonsense.
My katana materializes in my hand, even though I have no desire to summon it.

"Cute."

Faye summons an exact copy of my katana... how...?
This is not right. She can't do that. She doesn't have that power.
Are these her dreams now? Have I lost all control over them?
My desire to visit Yuya fades. I want this dream to end. I feel completely powerless.

"Aww, I thought you would put up a fight. That would have been so cute."
"And oh so idiotic. You don't understand anything."

I have no reply. I close my eyes. This will end the dream...


... I'm in some sort of japanese garden. Probably sight seeing or something? I'm with a few other people. (3 I think)
Everyone is talking about dreams, so I conclude that they must all be DV members.
But I don't understand what they're talking about. Some induction techniques involving butterflies? What?
I feel bad because I can't contribute anything to the discussion.

Then I notice that one of them has purple hair, so obviously she must be ~ Dreamer ~.
I'm somewhat proud of having figured that out all on my own!
I want to do something to impress her. I want to show her something really cool.
And then I have the most glorious of ideas! I am going to use my dream powers to piss a rainbow!
(Oh god why . By the way I'm totally blaming KristaNicole for this. XD)

"Hey Dreamer, check this out!"

I unzip my pants, point my dick upwards at a 45° angle for maximum efficiency and commence some high pressure pissing.
The stream of piss is nothing short of impressive, but it doesn't create a rainbow.
Everyone is giving me this what the hell are you doing look. I don't understand why.
It makes me sad that no rainbow is appearing.

The WILD has helped to some extend. My dreams did contain elements from my dream goals, but I failed to act on them.
It's cool that I saw ~ Dreamer ~, even though I wasn't lucid and I behaved like a complete idiot.
I'm quite disappointed at how I dealt with Faye.

I'm at friends place in Cairo. He is preparing a huge feast.
I am somewhat confused because we keep switching between English and French.
Eventually I end up on the balcony and become lucid when I realize that I am far too comfortable speaking French.
(After living in Germany for 7 years, I no longer am)
I decide to jump off the balcony (3th or 4th floor I think) to change the scene.
(I don't know why I've been doing this lately. It's not a very good means of changing scenes)

I end up on the beach, which is a recurring dream scene.
It is always dawn whenever I get here. The sky is a nice warm orange.
Walking bare feet over the sand is very pleasant.
I pick up some sand and play with it as I walk towards an area of interest.
Usually the beach is empty, but occasionally I find something interesting.

This time there is a rectangular black frame.
Once I get closer I can see that the frame is not empty.
It refracts light in an odd way, and taints everything purple.
Almost as if there was a very thin layer of a purple liquid.


I poke it with my right index finger. It buzzes me and ripples begin forming on the surface.
The feeling is rather pleasant. It tingles a little.
I drag my finger across it, creating complex patterns with the ripples.
At least a minute goes by until I realize that I'm not being very productive.
I step through the frame, which I assume is a portal to another place.

I end up on another beach. It is similar to 'my beach', except that there are quite a few people here.
There's also a few tents, and music! I try to engage more of my senses and make the music louder.
I feel a familiar presence and move towards it.

Close to the water I find some people dancing, a few others relaxing, having drinks that glow in the dark...
and Crow. Sitting in a fucking Sofa, whereas everyone else is sitting in the sand.

He's telling some grand story of his, and everyone seems quite captivated by it.
Every single time... This bird really does know how to tell a story.
Always surrounded by women, always a drink within reach. Dude knows how to have a good time.
He senses me as I approach closer.

"Yooooooooooo!"
"Yo."
"Hyu mate, how have you been?"

I don't really have any time to answer before he starts bombarding me with more questions.

"How's Yuya? And the other one? The cute one with horns and the tail?"
"Liv..."
"The one with the big boobs."
"Really Crow? She's called Liv."
"She is rather well endowed though."
*Sigh*
"How did you get here anyways?"
"This place ain't exactly on the grid."
"Walked through a purple portal on a beach created by my subconscious mind."
"..."
"You dreamers, you're all a bit messed up in the head."
"Subconscious here, Dream Guide there. Something something awareness and lucidity. I don't understand any of it."
"That's okay Crow. Neither do we."

We both laugh.

Some naked lady with an absolutely amazing body painting brings drinks.
They all glow in different colors. I take the blue/orange one.

"Cheers mate."

It is a rather strong alcoholic beverage. It's quite fruity, a little sweet.
Judging by the amount of empty glasses, Crow has consumed an amount of alcohol that would easily be lethal to any human being.
But he's Crow. I'm not even sure if he can get drunk.

Crow resumes telling his story. It's about space ships and smuggling...

I'm not really paying attention though. I look at the people dancing.
They all have these really cool glowing body paintings.
It's quite fascinating.

Later I talked with Crow some more, but I can't remember what the conversation was about.

I forgot to add a song to my last DJ entry!
I can't think of any music that fits this dream, so instead, here's what I'm listening to as I write this:


I'm at an office in a clinic. I'm sitting on a simple chair in the very middle of the room.
I've been waiting here for some time, bored out of my mind.
A nurse is supposed to join me in order to give me the results from some kind of medical test that was performed on me.
After some time a nurse finally enters the room.
She tells me that she has good news, that they have finally figured out what is wrong with me.
The nurse suggest beginning treatment immediately.
I'm ecstatic to hear this.

However, I now also realize that this is a dream.
The nurse somehow notices that I have become lucid. She seems sad because of it?

We are interrupted by a doctor barging into the room.
She immediately steals the nurses charts from her hands.
After looking over them she sends the nurse away.

"I will take care of this."

I don't like this. The nurse seemed very competent and kind, whereas the doctor seems uninterested in my health.
She is just here to do her job and get paid. She couldn't care less about who I am or how I feel.
After grabbing something from a drawer she pulls up another chair and sits right in front of me.
She holds a syringe and a vial containing an odd purple liquid.

"Hold out your arm for me."
"Okay."

I hold out my arm as she draws some of that liquid into the syringe.
I want to ask her about what is actually wrong with me, and about what
the devil she is about to inject me with.
But I don't ask anything because I feel really uncomfortable.
The color of that liquid strikes me as really odd.
Are you supposed to inject purple stuff into people?

She grabs my arm tightly, presumably so that I don't move.
My skin offers little resistance to the syringe.
The needle punctures it easily.
I'm pleased that it doesn't hurt.
She injects me with a large quantity of the liquid.

As she retracts the syringe she smiles.
And not the good kind of smile. The I just fucked you up and I'm a psychopath kind of smile.
Blisters start forming very rapidly all over my arm.
They quickly grow to the point where they are about to burst.
There's a huge amount of liquid in them. And I sense them pulsating. (I'm not googling a fitting picture for that...)
WHAT THE FUCK!
I notice the doctor as she attempts to go for my other arm.
Oh hell no. I slap the syringe out of her hand and quickly get up.

I am now in full panic mode.
I turn towards the only door in the room and charge at it.
Due to fear of the door being locked I throw my entire weight at it, attempting to break it open.


The lock gives in under the force emitting a shattering sound and separates from the door.

Blinded by a bright sun I try to reorient myself.
Wait what? I'm outside?
I quickly realize that I find myself stranded on top of a skyscraper.
There's only one door leading back into the building and that's where I came from.
This doesn't make any sense! Also the skyscraper is really thin. Like only 5 by 5 meters.
I have nowhere to run.


The doctor emerges from the room holding a much larger syringe this time around.
Like, a meter long. She's holding it like an assault weapon.

"Come over here. You need your medicine!"

I don't think so. I look back at my arm and it looks even worse than before.
The biggest blister bursts open and some thick yellow goo starts to ooze out of it.
It is utterly disgusting. Oh but it gets worse. So much worse.


Fat wasps start to climb out from inside the blister, through the puncture.
There's goo all over them, and they immediately begin to climb my arm.
I contemplate attempting to rip my arm off my body, but I understand that this is not possible.
The doctor approaches me slowly, carrying the overly large syringe on her shoulder.

But then, during all the panic, a short moment of clarity.
I am dreaming. I try to forcefully forget about the condition of my arm, knowing that it will return to normal.
The doctor is getting uncomfortably close to me, and I have no room left to move backwards...


Oh for fucks sake!
The name tag on the doctors lab coat...
It reads "Dr. Faye"
There is just barely enough time to go from full on panic to being seriously pissed.

"Fuck this, I'm out of here."

I stretch out my arms, and let myself fall backwards, down the skyscraper, looking at the sky all the way down.
Weeeeeeeeeeee
...
Uhm...
This scene is going to change before I hit the ground yes?

My vision fades just before I hit the ground.
Good...
*BAM!*

OH GOD FUCK WHY...
Oh...

I thought I went splat there for a moment.
But I actually just landed on my back in a new scene.
I get up and begin to orient myself.
My arm is back to normal, so we're off to a god start.


Oddly enough I seem to have ended up in some kind of garage?
Like, a pit box for race cars.
Usually if I change scenes without thinking of a destination I land on a certain beach.
I end up there quite often, but not this time for some reason.

I rub my hands together, trying to purge my mind of the images of my arm.
Then I spot it. A suspiciously large object hidden beneath a white sheet.
I know exactly what this is!
Pulling away the sheet reveals my xg bike.
AWW YEAH!


I walk around it inspecting it from all angles.
The polished exhaust manifolds reflect the bright lighting in this garage.
I touch them and slide my finger all the way back to the end of the exhaust pipes.
Thinking about it, I haven't raced this in many years.
I did have a dream about it a long time ago, but I don't think I raced it.
Deep Dreaming - Barfight - Earth from Space - Exploring Childhood Dreams - Yuya - Dream Journals - Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views

I could use my lucidity to attempt to resolve my current dream issues.
But I decide to postpone it. The dream is stable and I know that is going to be wonderful if I race.
Yes. I need some me time. Dreams are about having fun. I don't feel like resolving complex issues right now.

I climb onto the bike. It feels exactly right.
I flip the switches on the dashboard. ECU, FUEL, IGN.
And it lights up in vibrant neon colors.

I spot a pair of noise canceling plugs, resting next to some sunglasses on the fuel tank.
I promptly stick the plugs into my ears. This nullifies all sound completely. I also put on the sunglasses,
which fit nicely. I detach the auxiliary oil supply, which was keeping the engine nice and warm.

I gently feather the throttle, and kick the starter hard.
The engine roars to life. The sudden sound pressure feels like a punch to the stomach.
It almost hurts. My entire body vibrates, as it resonates with the sound emitted by all 20 cylinders.
Even though my hearing is muffled, the sound is painfully loud because it is amplified within this garage.
The sudden vibrations greatly increase the quality of my dream.
My vision is colorful and sharp now. All of my senses are engaged.
I am in a pit box. There's a race track right outside.

I pull the clutch all the way back and shift into first.
A loud mechanical "clock" is emitted by the transmission and the dashboard display changes from N to 1.
I lean my weight all the way forwards, feather the throttle and just let go of the clutch.
After some wheel spin I am propelled out of the pit box and begin driving down the pit lane.
I flip on the "G" switch on my dash board. This turns on an odd device that provides high amounts of downforce without causing any drag.
Almost as if gravity was magically increased for the bike.
With a precise foot press the engine changes into second and the bike wobbles forward and backward a bit.


I start to gain speed and once I'm onto the track I punch it.
At first the revs climb slowly, but then once I make it past 7k rpm I hear both turbos slowly spinning up, providing an enormous boost in torque.
This violent increase in power actually catches me off guard and I accidentally change into 3rd.
There is some more wobbling and the engine emits a rather unhealthy sound as I have starved the turbos from their much needed exhaust pressure.
This is to be expected as I shifted way too soon.

I gain some more speed before I need to slow down for a sharp hairpin.
The brakes are loud and cause some vibration, but they are perfectly precise and very powerful.
I shift back into second and engine screams up for a split second as the internal computers match the engine speed to that of the gearbox,
followed by a loud rumble due to unburned fuel exiting the exhaust pipes.

I throttle up gradually as I am exiting the corner. The turbos spin up again. This time I'm determined not to shift early.
I grab the handles tightly, holding on for dear life. The acceleration brutally increases all the way through
10k, 11k, 12k, 13k rpm. The front wheel begins to lift off the track and I quickly shift into 3rd.
This time there is no wobble. The gearbox computer executes the shift precisely the moment when my foot presses the shifting pedal.
The front wheel slams back onto the track with a loud tire screech.

Two lines of blue leds on my dashboard grow towards each other as the rpm increase, indicating that I am within the power band.
I take it all the way up past 14k, until red leds at the end of the blue led strips light up,
indicating that it is time to shift...

I am now in 4th, doing close to 500km/h, as I enter a long corner. I lean my body into it, bringing the glowing orange exhaust manifolds into my field of view.
The forces on my body increase, until eventually belts in my pants pull together automatically to cut off the blood flow to my legs.
This just barely prevents me from passing out. I am unable to breathe until I exit the corner and the forces normalize.

I lift my body up a bit, so that I emerge above the protective wind shield.
The air pushes against my face hard. It hurts. I am so alive right now.
I try to scream as loud as I can. My lungs can just barely overcome the air pressure.
But there is barely any sound. The engine is just too loud. I cannot compete.

But that doesn't matter. This is MY dream. I am alive. I am in control.
After some laps the dream fades. I don't care.

The contrast between "bad" and "good" adrenaline was quite interesting.
Could have done without the bad part though. The images are still burned into my mind. x_X

So... I've been planning on posting new entries to my DJ here on DV, but I'm not quite sure where to start.
My dreams are one hell of a mess at the moment, and they're probably not much fun to read.
It seems like many of them are centered around hurting me one way or another.
Usually this is done through Faye, a recurring DC.
They're not nightmares though. Well, at least most of them aren't.
I usually catch those when they start and become lucid, allowing me either change or stop them.

Here's an example of what I'm talking about:

I'm hanging out with some waking-life friends.
We're at V's place, up in his attic, where he has set up a bar and a large couch to relax.
Overall I'm having a good time, but there's something making me somewhat uncomfortable.
There's a woman with us that I don't think I have seen before.
But everyone is acting as if we've all known each other for years.
In fact, at one point, she is telling a story about her and I getting into trouble
when we were on vacation together.

What? I don't remember this woman, and we were supposedly spending out holidays together?
What is going on?

We have a few drinks, discuss some things that I cannot recall, and end up talking about what everyone
is currently doing in their lives. It's mostly a discussion about what our expectations were a few years back,
about what we would be doing now, and how everything actually turned out.
It's my turn, and I walk about making video games, and that I am not quite certain how I am going to transition
from university life to working. I haven't fully decided exactly what I want to do yet, but I do know
roughly which direction I want to go.

The woman I do not know interrupts me, and starts saying hurtful things.
I don't remember exactly how she said it, but she was basically stating that I will never amount to anything.
I am shocked. I do not understand how one of my friends would ever say anything like that.
I have a good relationship with all of my friends, nobody would ever do this.
But for some reason it really hurts. To the point where I actually consider whether or not I am a failure as a person.

Fortunately, I slowly become aware of what is actually happening.
I am dreaming.
This is a dream.

I attempt to look at the facial expression of everyone, to see if they agreed with what the woman said.
But they are all gone. I find myself alone with this woman now.
She looks pleased with herself. She has accomplished what she wanted.

I try to elevate my level of awareness by thinking about my current situation.
There is some improvement. Enough to realize that the woman is Faye.

"Wipe that grin off your face"

I am pissed.
She keeps doing this lately and I absolutely hate it.
I decide to confront her about it.

"Why do you keep doing this?"
"You are doing this to yourself. Remember, I am a part of yourself"

I remember having confronted her before, and she said the exact same thing.
Why is she my dream guide again? Lately her influence on my dreams has been purely negative...



Here's another example, where she attempts to distract me (from lucidity):

I am walking through the city together with a friend of mine.
She's rushing from shop to shop, looking at all the things.
Despite the situation being so hectic, I become lucid.
I also quickly realize that the woman I'm with is Faye.
I immediately decide that I want to leave. There is nothing of interest in this dream scene.

I concentrate, trying to leave the current scene behind and go to Riven instead.
But Faye interrupts me. She grabs my hand and drags me away.
I tell her to leave me alone, but she won't listen.

I feel anger building up inside of myself.
She's done this a few times now, trying to break my lucidity.
And usually she succeeds...

"You're not going anywhere!"

My muscles tense up from anger.
Suddenly the buildings around me begin to collapse, seemingly as a reacting to tensing up my muscles.
It's an odd feeling.
First there is some guilt from destroying the buildings by accident.
But that quickly disappears once I understand that nobody was in these buildings.
After all this is a dream.

Unfortunately Faye is having none of it.
She takes control of the surrounding DC's and makes them yell at me.

"Why did you do this? Why did you kill those people?"

Things like that.
I eventually loose lucidity...


These dreams are quite frustrating.
But I think that I can fix this mess if I manage to reach a high level of lucidity.
By that I mean, if manage to think clearly within a lucid dream, and be aware of this goal,
which is difficult with this level of interference and distraction.
Still, I'm confident that I'll manage to fix it... hopefully soon.

I stand in the middle of the platform, with the gate in front of me and Silver, Yuya and Shinave behind me.
I hold out my left hand against the gate, and give it a slight burst of energy.
Some engravings on it light up. I focus on the templars, and sure enough a connection is made to a gate right next to them.
A portal forms inside the gate in a dark purple color.
The doors are open, they can simply walk in now.
I'm nervous.



After a rather tense minute, some shapes finally emerge from the portal. Templars.
All 12 of them. This is it.
They all appear to be rather calm.
Then again, why wouldn't they? It's not like we'd stand a chance in a fair fight.

Finally, one of them addresses me. And to my surprise he looks somewhat different than the other templars.
He isn't wearing a helm, and his weapon of choice seems to be a sword rather than a lance.
How curious. Do the templars have some sort of leader after all?

"Oh dragon... It's unfortunate that you have resisted your death for this long."
"But I see you have finally seen the light."
"I respect that you stand here, offering to sacrifice yourself in exchange for the life of your friends."
"It is not an action that I would have expected from a dragon."

Oh.
That assumption sort of makes sense I guess.
The thought that we would fight them is pure insanity, yet I've shown them exactly where we are.

"Unfortunately the deal is not acceptable."

He points at Yuya.

"I'll need the life of the water goddess as well."
"Both of your lives for Teraluna. We have no interest in the others."
"Come forward and kneel down."

He wants to see the look on my face when he executes her in front of my eyes.
Typical Templar reasoning. They want a show. After all they could just charge at us and kill us all.
I turn around to look at Yuya. She's not worried at all. In fact she grins. Good.
I look back at the templar.
I stare deeply into his eyes and lough out loudly, which confuses him to some extend.
Finally the feeling of eeriness goes away.
No more anxiety. No more worries.
There is only the present now. No future to worry about.

I nod at Silver to give him the signal to activate the seal.
The symbols he has drawn on the ground grow all over the platform.



A transparent bubble surrounds all of us.
The portal generated by the gate collapses immediately, because as of right now, both gates no longer exist in the same space time continuum.
Everything within the bubble is separated from normal space and time, at least for as long as Silver keeps it up.
Nothing comes in, nothing goes out.
As far as I know, it is the ultimate spatial sealing technique. I've never seen anyone use it before.
Still, the templars do not seem alarmed. After all there's 12 of them and only 4 of us.

"And now what little dragon?"

There is complete silence now. Sound doesn't penetrate the seal.
I speak in a dark, assertive voice.

"Why, isn't it obvious?"
"I am going to kill you all"

That made him angry. He snaps his fingers and 2 templars charge at me immediately.
This is it then. This is what I've gambled everything on. Work!
Phoenix catalyst. Only once before have I drawn power directly from it, instead of using it as a catalyst to amplify my own powers.
It was when I resurrected Yuya. But of course that used up the entire catalyst. There is nothing left.
But I do use the same technique in the hopes of having understood what the orb that was given to me is.
Even though it was just an intuition. But right now, that is all I have.

The templars that charge at me do not have their lances drawn. Their goal is to push me to my knees. To put me in place.
To teach me a lesson. But I have other ideas. I propel myself forwards and slap my hands against their breastplates.
I use the technique and draw energy as hard as I can and concentrate it within my hands.

I feel some resistance. But it's like slapping your hands against a water surface. It hurts a little initially, but your hands still move straight through.
Through their breastplates. Through the bodies. I'm going straight through with my bare hands.
The lifeless remains of their bodies drop to the ground. They are not human bodies. There is no blood. It's like some sort of clay surrounded with skin.

It worked... It worked!
I can freely draw energy from the orb. My intuition was right. It is the same type of energy.
But I have no time to think about this any further.
Because the templars have now realized the danger, and 3 of them have already rushed past me towards Silver.
They want to destroy the seal, in case they need to retreat.
But Yuya is on it.
She is projecting some of her water spheres towards them.
Right before impact Shinave casts some kind of frost magic onto them, causing the spheres to erupt into ice spikes.
They are not strong enough to penetrate the armor of the templars, but they do manage to immobilize them for a moment.



I draw energy again, focus it into 3 small spheres and toss them at the templars.
Yet again, their bodies shatter on impact. They won't be able to get to Silver without dealing with me first.
Too late I realize that this is exactly what they're doing.
A lance hits me right in the stomach. I manage to blink away before by body suffers the full impact.
Another Templar is already striking me from another side.
I block his lance with my hands and give it a pulse of energy, breaking the lance in half.
I promtly throw the gained head of the lance at the Templar who previously managed to hit me in the stomach.
The lance shatters into pieces as I try to infuse it with energy, but enough of it discharges into the Templar to incapacitate him.
A few energy infused punches take care of the Templar with the broken lance.

To my surprise the remaining templars have not moved towards me at all.
4 of them stand there, emotionless, in front of their leader who is in anger.
I don't think he fully understands what just happened. 7 down, 5 to go.
And although only one of the templars displays any emotions, I don't notice an ounce of fear.

"Do you really think you can kill us all?"

I respond with an evil smile and draw my katana from its scabbard on my back.
That's right, I've been fighting you with my bare hands.

"Fine."

Some sort of growth on the leaders left arm becomes visible. It looks somewhat organic and insectoid.
Extensions reach from it to the necks of each of the templers bodies, all 11 of them.
With a motion of his left hand, the extensions retract back into his arm and all remaining templars drop dead.
All Templar bodies slowly begin to turn into something that resembles sawdust.
Suddenly, an immense amount of pressure originating from the remaining templars aura pushes against me.
I have to concentrate a small layer of energy around my body to protect it from burning up.

So much raw power. So this is why the templars were always so emotionless and their bodies so unnatural.
They were puppets controlled by this single person.
He confidently draws his own sword and begins walking towards me slowly.

"You have caused me grief, dragon. These are rather difficult to create you know."
"They have to be captured when they are but little children, then carefully raised into weapons."
"It takes such a long time, and now I have to do it all over again."

Even though right now, I have a virtually unlimited supply of energy, I am afraid of this guy.
Being in possession of this orb thing, but he is radiating so much energy naturally.

Here he comes. I draw huge amounts of energy into my katana, hoping to power through his sword.
But he merely deflects my attack, I do not manage to release the energy. This goes on for a few strikes.
Each time our swords clash he deflects it skillfully. He has the upper hand.
Then unexpectedly he charges in close, even though I haven't given him an opening.
Somehow he manages to get his blade uncomfortably close to my face and I have to blink back.

I quickly realize that I've been somewhat late. He managed to leave a small cut between my eyes.
A few more centimeters and that would have been it...

"Hmm. How odd."
"Clearly you have the energy to fight me, but you are not good enough of a swordsman to do so."
"I wonder. Years ago, you fought a Templar in the depths of hell. A fight where none of you had access to energy."
"A fight against someone who had perfected the art of sword combat."
"You do not have the skills necessary to have won that fight."

He is right. I should not have been able to do that. It is something I cannot explain.
It just happened, even though it should have been impossible.
And I can feel that this guy uses similar moves. If he hasn't perfected the art of sword combat, he is close.
I am no match for him. I cannot win in a sword fight. And the only way to discharge enough energy to deal damage to him
is through my katana.

"Also I wonder. Where does all of that energy suddenly come from?"
"You have done something rather curious indeed."

He charges at me a few more times. Fortunately I manage to deflect his attacks, but it is very close.
He just has to wait until I make a small mistake.

"And the dragon does not use his dragon powers."
"Instead he fights me with what seems to be divine energy."

I can't use it because both powers clash with each-other. It would rip me apart.
But he doesn't need to know that.
He attacks a few more times, and manages a few deep cuts into both of my shoulders and my back.

"Your time is slowly running out dragon."
"Not only will your body give in sooner or later, but that white haired friend of yours isn't going to last much longer keeping that seal up either."

Silver... He doesn't even know the proper reason he is keeping that seal up for, yet he is still giving it all hes got.
Hold out a little longer... I'll figure something out...

The templar performs a downwards strike over his shoulder, which I attempt to block directly.
He somehow angles his body in such a way that he is able to rotate around and punch me in the chest.
Even though I concentrate most of my energy into my ribs to absorb the shock, they still buckle a little under a loud crushing noise as I'm projected backwards.
I cough up some blood, but I manage to keep by defensive posture.

Due to the lung damage I decide to stop breathing entirely, and instead filter the CO2 in my blood using energy.
An easy technique, usually used to go to locations where breathing is not possible, such as underwater or planets without oxygen rich atmospheres.
I quickly repair potentially lethal damage using a variety of phoenix techniques.
My body is taking one hell of a beating, it won't last much longer.

"It is a shame that I have not found you when you were a child."
"You have so much potential, you would have made a fantastic asset."

Right as he readies another attack, something startles him to the point that he looses his focus on me.
I can feel a new presence. A dark, cold one. I look for it and spot a person that must have just appeared.
This is not possible... Nobody can enter this space as long as it is sealed. There are no tricks or techniques to circumvent interdimensional seals.
He immediately looks right at me and pronounces in a loud voice:

"Death has come for you."

As he summons an oversized pitch black scythe I understand what has happened.

"Silver, break the seal... It is no longer of any use."

The bubble surrounding the platform dissipates. Silver has to lie down from exhaustion.
Yuya and Shinave look rather worried. They know what it means when death comes for you.
He looks like a teenager. Somewhat long, black fuzzy hair. Worn and slightly torn black pants and shirt.
He's very skinny. But the scythe is what really makes it clear what he is. Death. Or a messenger of death.
I don't know the specifics behind how it works.

I try to utter the words "Not today". Because that is what you say when death comes for you.
But my voice is faint and fragile. It's not even because of the damaged lungs.
He is amused by this and laughs.

"Good one! I haven't heard that one yet. You may have just made my day."
"Seriously though, you're coming with me."

The grip on my katana loosens. I have fucked up.
This is the end. It's because I took the orb.
This orb, I don't know what exactly it is, or why it exists. All I know is that it has to do with life energy.
It plays a role in the birth of things. This is also the reason why I was able to draw power from it. It's the same type of energy as in the phoenix catalyst.
Because they are so important, each orb is assigned a guardian, so that no individual can ever obtain one.
Ironically, it is one of the guardians who gave me the orb. And she warned me that death would come for me.
I am not sure why she decided to give it to me, but I understand that I must now pay the price for having taken it.
Death acts as some sort of backup protection in case an orb is ever stolen.

In a moment of desperation I ask:

"... a minute then?"

Death looks at me a little surprised. Why would he ever agree to that? What am I even doing with another minute?
He made it clear that he is here to get me now. He looks at the templar, then back at me.
Then he shrugs.

"A minute it is."

And he sits down.
What?
Just like that?
He is completely carefree, as if he was about to grab some popcorn.

The templar laughs, realizing that he has already won.

"You fool! All I care about is your death, nothing else matters to me."
"You have just lost everything."

I know. The guardian told me.
For a moment I believed that Silvers seal would make me invisible to death, and I could use the orb without being spotted.
In retrospect, that was a rather idiotic assumption. But it is too late for remorse now.
Not like I had any alternatives anyways.
But before I go, there is one thing left to do...
Forget about the future, it is no more. There is only the present now.

"You asked me earlier how I managed to kill a man who had perfected the art of sword combat."

My voice has recovered some strength.

"Yes, I am curious about that indeed."

I remove the protective layer of aura surrounding my body and focus all of it into my katana.
Immediately I feel the pressure of the templars aura on my skin. It burns away my clothes and slowly begins to eat away at my skin.
Energy distribution in your body is a key aspect in advanced combat techniques. You can divert energy that is intended to defend your body into your attacks and vice versa.
Removing too much defensive energy leaves you without any defense.
But it's not like I have any need for that anymore.

"I admire your will, but you do not have the technique to beat me."

Yes. He can just deflect my attacks.
I open my dragon eyes, which is of course a rather self-destructing thing to do, given that my body is flooded with divine energy, which will immediately attack the dragon eyes
which are of demonic nature. I don't care.
I understand the confused look on the templars face, as the dragon eyes do not work on them.
But they are not intended for him.
I look for my own reflection in his eyes, and attempt to stare directly into my own dragon eyes.
This is something you are never supposed to do.
There is a high risk of getting lost forever.

I do it to look into my past.
Into the exact moment I fought that templar in the fires of hell.
I was but a young teenager back then. I can see it clearly now.
I walk towards the templar whilst looking at my memories at the same time.

"Back then, I had only a minute to kill the master swordman."
"And now you have a minute to do the same with me."
"I will show you exactly how I defeated him."

I begin to mimic the movements of the templar I fought against years ago.
Our swords spray sparks every time they touch. At this point it looks more like a dance than a sword fight.
He quickly realizes that he no longer has the upper hand. We are on equal terms now, and I have nothing to loose.
He changes to a more defensive style, attempting to simply outlast the minute that was given to me.
Fortunately, I require so much focus that I am completely incapable to think about what is going to happen next.
Sure enough, just before the minute runs out, I perform a combination of moves that creates an opening.
I take it without hesitation and lodge my katana firmly into his chest.

The burning sensation and the pressure emitted by the templar stops immediately.
He is visibly confused. He does not understand the mistake he made, and neither do I.
This style of combat is way too advanced for me. I merely copied what I saw.
But still, even with my sword lodged in his chest he smiles.

"It doesn't matter. I still won."

I have nothing witty to reply. He is right. His goal was that I die, and he achieved that, after all death has come for me.
I have lost. I release the energy stored within the katana and the templar bursts up in purple flames, leaving nothing behind.
I suppose this should provide some sort of relief. At least the templars are gone.
But I feel no such thing. All I feel is failure.



Death approaches me, carrying his scythe on his shoulder.
This is the end.

What the fuck am I doing?
I'm feeling awkward... anxious? eerie. Yes, that's the right word, eerie. I feel overwhelmingly eerie.
I don't feel the way I'm supposed to feel, given that I might loose everything, and that is immensely irritating.
And then I had the glorious idea to take that orb, which I was told would inevitably lead to my death.
I'm confused as to why I have made that choice. It seemed obvious at the time, but I just don't understand.
Perhaps it was because I am desperate. Perhaps it was to put and end to this feeling of eeriness.
Or perhaps, deep down, I know what I'm doing. Maybe. Hopefully?
One thing is for certain. The decision I've made is final. There is no going back. There is only one path left to walk.
From now on there are no more choices to be made, and that is somewhat of a relief.



I arrive on the central platform in Riven on Teraluna, where everyone is waiting for me.
The city feels abandoned. The animals have gone. I don't like it. It doesn't feel like home right now.
It's nice to see the old gang together though, although I wish it was under different circumstances.
Yuya, Shinave, Silver... even Ifrit is here? That is unexpected.
Everyone is eagerly waiting for me to explain what is going to happen next.
What am I going to say?



But then all of a sudden, looking at everyone, I gain an immense burst of confidence.
Everyone has so much confidence in me. They trust me completely. They know that we stand no chance whatsoever to survive the battle that is ahead.
But they are smiling. Well, when I say everyone, I mean everyone besides Ifrit. Clearly he doesn't want to be here.
And saying that he would have any confidence in me whatsoever is ridiculous. He hates me.

I take a deep breath. What's the plan, now that I have the orb?
Yes... that's how we're going to do it...

"Silver... do you still practice sealing techniques."
"Yes. What do you have in mind?"
"How well could you seal off this area?"
"The entire platform?"
"Yes..."
"Hmmm..."

He thinks about it for a bit.

"If focus solely on that and noting else, I can give you an interdimensional seal covering the entire platform for a few minutes..."
"15, maybe 20?"

That is impressive. I never expected him to be able to do that much. Not with such a high level sealing technique.
This might work... sort of. It's all going to depend on me.

"Alright... I have a plan."

The magic words.

"The templars are all united in the same location, scanning for our auras."
"They know the rough location of Teraluna, but even though they are immensely far away, they have not come any closer."
"This leads me to assume that they have access to a gate, and they plan on dialing in once they have our location."

Silver points at the gate on the platform we're on.

"An ancient gate?"
"Yes."
"Indeed... I suppose they are capable of using the old network. And it's not like the cities barrier will provide much protection against them."
"Using the gates they also won't waste any energy to get here... What do you want to do? Block the gate?"

Heh.

"Quite the contrary."
"Oh?"

I see some slightly confused faces.

"We're going to send them an invitation. Show them right where we are, and open the gate ourselves."

Everyones eyes are opening widely.
And then I smile.
And then everyone else smiles.
Except for Ifrit of course.

"ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?"

I ignore him.

"When I give you the sign Silver, seal off the entire platform for as long as possible."
"Yuya, Shinave, protect Silver. The seal must not be broken."

They nod.

"Ifrit... are you in or out?"

Silence.
He draws a fire portal behind himself and turns away.
Shinave is clearly disappointed by these actions.

"You're going to run away?"

Considering that he's one of the ancient gods, that was very offensive.
But clearly he doesn't give a fuck about my opinion. I am no god. I am a lesser being.
He would have killed me long ago would it not be for Shinave to have urged him not to do so.

"Should you survive this day due to some miracle, know that I will end you."
"For what? Trying to save Teraluna while you run away?"
"It's all your fault. EVERYTHING is your fault."

Shinave intervenes. "It isn't."
He hates it. All gods should always side with him. After all he was the leader of the council of gods.
Which interestingly did actually fall apart because of me. That was my fault. In my defense though, it was beyond corrupt.

"At least I'm not hiding in the godly realm while the fate of Teraluna is decided."

His eyebrows twitch in anger and he leaves through his portal. He doesn't want to hear any more of it.

"I'm not sure what I was expecting, bringing him here."
"It was worth a try."

"So, when do we do this?" Yuya asks.
"As soon as everyone is ready. I have taken some actions that have kind of decreased the time we have left to deal with this."
"Good. Let's end this once and for all."

She smiles.
Yes. The time is now. I can feel it.
I nod at silver and he begins to prepare the seal.
He cuts into his left hand with a dagger, and draws some sort of incantation on the floor using his blood.
He then puts a bandage on it and sits down in a meditative pose.
Finally, he gives me a nod. He's ready.
Seven spheres of water appear around Yuya, who gives me the same nod.
And so does Shinave.
I summon my katana and wear it on my back, since I will no longer be able to summon it once the seal is up.
Show time.

After many weeks of having to hide my aura, I can finally power it up again.
I let the energy flow through my body freely. It feels so good. So refreshing.
I immediately sense the auras of all 12 Templars locking onto us.
Teraluna is found.

Crow and I find ourselves in some sort of temple.
It seems like the room we're in was entirely carved out of some kind of bright stone.
Even though everything looks very clean, it has a neglected feel to it.
Nobody has stepped foot here for a very long time.
Some plants appear to have made the rather futile attempt of growing on the walls.
They were doomed from the beginning though. There is no soil here, no himidity...
Makes you wonder how they got here in the first place.

"Nobody home."



I walk around a little to get a better feel for the place we've found ourselves in.
It seems like this is a single room without any doors or windows.
It is huge though. The ceiling must be at least 20 meters high.
The walls and the floor are engraved with all sorts of things, reaching from long forgotten animals to oddly shaped symbols that I don't recognize.
Even though everything is made from the same material, there's a lot of variation to the place.
It's kind of beautiful in it's own way.

"No way in, no way out, what is this place? Who would build something like this, this place makes no sense."
"What's the purpose of a room without an entrance?"

I think I get it. Sort of. A little bit.

"I don't think this is a room Crow."
"A truly fantastic obvservation Hyu. Your sense of deduction never fails to amaze me."
"So tell me friend. This... ROOM here, you know... if it is not a room, than what is it?"
"... It's... like a doorway."
"A doorway... Listen Hyu, you're not making any sense."
"You said it yourself, there is no purpose to a room without an entrance."
"So naturally, if the room has no entrance it must be a doorway? Whaaaat?"

"Well, there's a little more to it than that."
"Look, we're pretty much at the exact location that you found, right? But it still feels like we're off somehow."
"Yet there is no way to get any closer..."
"Not because there is something preventing us from physically getting closer, but because there is no point in space closer to the location than where we stand."
"But clearly, we're still at some distance."

"Whaaaaaat? That is a clear contradiction."
"It's... shifted."
"Shifted?"
"I don't know what to call it. We're in the correct location, but not quite in the right... dimension?"
"Right... what?"
"There's more to this realm than what is physical. Your spirit for example, it interacts with the physical world, but it is not located in it."
"Oh. Yeah. That kind of makes sense actually."
"How do you go to another dimension?"

Yeah... about that...
Oh hold on a second. I have done this before haven't I?
To go to a non-physical place you have to leave behind the physical.

"Crow, can you mind my body?"
"Mind the... Hyu what the fuck?"
"What? Phoenix abilities and stuff."
"But why would you voluntarily leave your own body? Isn't that dangerous???"
"Hmm..."
"HMM??? YOU DON'T KNOW???"
"Oh calm down, It probably isn't. I've done it before."
"Probably he says..."

I sit down in the middle of the room and concentrate on my own aura.
I then begin to gently separate it from my body and let it drift towards the location Crow found.
And just like that, I find myself in the same room, except... well... it's kind of different.
Everything is much brighter and desaturated. I also feel an odd out of place sensation.
I also have no body, and more importantly, I'm not alone.



There's another person sitting right in front of me.
I say person, but it's kind of difficult to tell.
It's more like a body of light in the shape of a human but genderless being.
Whoever he or she (I'll go with she because of the feminine hair) is, she has her eyes closed, like she's meditating.
I feel like I'm intruding. It seems kind of rude just to enter this place without asking for permission first.
Then again, I wouldn't have known how to do that. I should at least say something though.
But what do I say? I'm not even sure what I'm here for exactly...

"Hi!"

Smooth Hyu. Very smooth.
She looks at me, revealing eyes of pure light.
She answers with a soothing yet assertive voice.

"Here you are."
"Erm... yes?"

Awkward... now what? Oh well, might as well just say it.

"I... I'm not entire sure why I came here."
"You are here because twelve men are after your life, and you are uncertain as to how to deal with that situation."

12 men. The templars. She knows.
I get the feeling that I am yet again dealing with someone who knows more about my life than I do.
But I suppose this is a good thing. If she knows about my situation she might be able to help me.
Suddenly there is hope again...
but... I don't feel it?
Shouldn't I be excited? Shouldn't I feel hopeful right now?
All I feel is eerieness. Everything feels off.
I have no time to deal with those feelings though.
There are more important things at hand.

"I need help."

She takes some time to reply. I can see that she has a difficult time processing the things I say and formulating her thoughts into words.

"Yes. You have come here for help. Your path has stopped in this very location..."
"... There is a decision you have to make."

Usually I'd ask a thousand questions right now. But today is different.
I just go with the flow, not minding that I do not understand.

"I will offer you an item. An item of great importance..."
"You will take it. And then your path will inevitably lead to death."
"Death?"
"Yes."

She doesn't seem concerned about this at all.

"But... you said I had to make a decision."
"Yes. You will take the item."

For some reason I jump to a conclusion expaining why she expresses herself the way she does.
It seems perfectly obvious to me.

"You... you aren't experiencing time the way I do."
"Yes, I see what can be. I see the paths connecting the present to the future."
"But time is always in motion. There are so many possibilities. And every action taken, every decision made has the capability to reorganize the web that is time."
"Yet you already know which decision I will make. You already know that I will take an item from you."
"Yes. Some paths are more likely than others."
"The men that are after you. That is why they hunt you..."

I had a feeling the templars weren't after me purely because I was a dragon. What does that even mean? Being a dragon.

"There are special points in time. Fixed points in time. Points that will always occur."
"So many paths lead to them that some of them will inevitably cross at this very point."
"The men after you must have seen that your path intersects a point that is of great importance to them."
"While it is impossible to foresee the future, one can remove all paths that are not beneficial to oneself, thus increasing the chance of a favorable outcome."

So that is why they are after me. It makes sense. They are going to do something of great importance.
And they have seen that my timeline crosses that event, so they are killing me ahead of time, ensuring that I cannot influence the event.
You cannot forsee the future. But you can influence it in your favor.
But this doesn't matter right now. Nothing matters besides them. I have to deal with them as soon as possible.
I have a few days at most. Maybe only a few hours.

The being summons a small orb of light in her hand and makes a gesture suggesting that I should take it.

"So this is the item that I will take. A decision that will lead me to death."
"Yes. As promised."
"But... will I win?"
"All I can tell you is that it will influence your path greatly."
"And... as promised?"
"You do not remember."

I've heard that a few times too often. "You do not remember". But this time it doesn't matter.
This time I don't care about all the unanswered questions.
She is right. My decision is already made, even if I do not know why.
My right hand is already grabbing towards the orb.
I only hold onto it for a brief moment before it is absorbed by myself.

"Thank you."

I say... in a rather faint voice.
Everything is clear now. At least everything of importance. There is no need for further questions.

I know what this orb is... and I know why I am going to die...

Trying to post stuff again.
I think I'll write down dreams related to the templar story first, because I really want to have that stuff written down properly, so I figure I might as well start there.
I'll get to more current dreams after that.

My vision normalizes as my naked feet gently touch down in the sand. I'm on a beach.
I am somewhat blinded by the reflection of the sun on the near white ground.
It is very hot; I can clearly feel the pressure of the heat on my skin.
There's a lot of noise. People running into the ocean. Kids playing ball.
Music coming from god knows where. People seem to be partying.

All in all it feels rather uncomfortable. It isn't the heat or the noise though.
I'm not in a good mood. I don't feel like being surrounded with joy right now. It just doesn't feel right.
Now where's that fucking bird... yes... of course. At a bar talking to some girls.
Where else would he be?


He's a rather interesting creature. You don't meet many talking birds, and this one definitely has an attitude.
This one is pitch black with a single red feather in his tail, which I think he dyed that color.
It looks kinda cool actually, but he is a little full of himself. He also talks a lot.

As I approach the bar the girls leave giggling. He probably told them one of his famous stories.
I sit on the bar stool closest to him.

"Crow!"
"What the- Hyu!"
"Indeed"
"The fuck are you doing here mate? Did you bring Yuya? Where is Yuya?"
"What is it with you? Always only interested in the girls."
"What is it with you always calling me Crow?"

"You remind me of a talking bird going by that name."
"Uhuh? And who would that be? Are you making fun of me?"
"Crow helped save the worlds of Stark and Arcadia dear friend. He's a hero."

But that's not why I'm calling you Crow.

"Stark and Arcadia? I've never heard of such worlds."
"They're- worlds in another realm."

Or rather in a video game, but I feel like leaving out that detail.

"So, what brings you here? I've never seen you around here."

I pick up his drink because it is rather curious looking.
Further inspecion reveals that whatever it is, it has a rather acrid smell to it.
I put it back down.

"I'm looking for you actually."

His eyes widen.

"Who- me?!"
"Yes, you. I'd like to ask you for a favor."

He looks a bit confused... or... at least I think he does. It is rather difficult to read the facial expressions of a bird.

"I need to locate an aura."
"You humble me. I am fairly skilled at tracking auras, but I highly doubt that I could find someone that you cannot."
"You see, the problem is not that I am unable to do the tracking myself. The issue is that I'm quite unfortunately being tracked myself, so I do not wish to reveal myself."
"Hyu- are you in trouble?"
"You have no idea friend."
"Wait. Seriously?"

*Sigh*

"It's pretty bad, can you help me out?"
"Yes! Of course!"
"There's a catch."
"Naturally..."
"I- I'm not entire sure what it is I'm looking for. I'll have to see what you see."
"You want to use the dragon eyes on me..."
"Indeed."
"Shit- bugger- fuck-"
"You okay?"
"Yes, yes. Follow me. I know a quiet spot."

He knows what's coming for him. I must have used the eyes on him in the past... I think?
I follow Crow into some sort of small tent.
He lands on a pedestral and I kneel down in front of im to get our eyes leveled.

"Are you ready?"
"No! Of course I'm not ready you moron."
"Moron?"
"Go ahead. Just please- try not to kill me."
"Any danger is entirely up to you."
"Yes yes. Don't resist. I know, I know. Let's just get this over with."

It is fairly safe to use the dragon eyes on someone as long as they do not resist.
Clearly the sharing of minds is not what the ability is intended for though.
It is a rather intrusive ability, and it goes against your basic instincts not to resist against it.
I stare into his pitch black eyes. He seems fairly relaxed which is good. This shouldn't hurt him.
I force myself into his mind using the dragon eyes. My vision fades.
The first thing I feel is fear and discomfort.
I can't blame him for that. It must be immensely uncomfortable to have someone intrude your mind like this.
Fortunately I feel no resistance from him at all. His self-control is rather commendable.

"You're doing well crow."
"Obviously."
"Yes..."

A new scene appears.


A shared hallucination caused by the usage of the dragon eyes.

"This place gives me the creeps."
"Well. There ain't no girls in bikinis dancing about."
"No shit."

Well then. Time to see if that feeling is merely a delusion or if there is actually something behind it.

"Alright. Reach out as far as you're comfortable with. I'll try to guide your search."
"Mmmmmmhm"

I attempt to visualize whatever presence Crow feels as points of lights in front of me.
To my surprise, the only image that pops up is that of two rather largely breasted girls wearing bikinis.
The girls he was talking to at the bar earlier...

"Crow... focus!"
"But dear friend. I'd say that I am rather focused. Are you not impressed by how clear this memory is?"
"Dude... seriously?"
"The image... so clear and crisp... mmmmh."
"... This is really not the time for-"
"Boobs? There's always time for boobies!"
"Pervert..."
"Pervert? You morbid cunt!"
"A morbid what now?"
"You heard me. Lousy, moronic fuckwit."

*Sigh* That bird likes to curse.

"I'm waiting for an apology!"

This is the point where I'm supposed to call him an incompetent and imbecilic waste of natural selection.

"Sorry... I'm really not in the mood for this."
"You... I..."
"Are you done? I really need to figure this out."
"Well... yes... sorry..."

I think he finally understands that this is serious.
I'm not blaming him for not taking me serious immediately though.
It's not like I'm known as a serious person. I like messing about. But today is different.

After a surprisingly short amount of time, Crow manages to focus on something that matches what I'm looking for.
I underestimated him. This was quite fast, especially considering the nature of what I'm searching for.

"Eeehm. The fuck is this? This is not a person?"
"Also where is this? This doesn't feel like a proper location. Something's off. Did I do it wrong?"
"Hmm... I'm not entirely sure where this is, or what it is that you have found. But I'm fairly certain that you have found exactly what I'm looking for."

This is very odd indeed. I know exactly what he means when he says that something's off. Something doesn't feel quite right, but I am uncertain as to why.
I can focus on any point close to the location, but not the very location itself.
It should also not have been possible to find anything using merely a vague feeling as a guide.

"Crow. I'm going there right now."
"That doesn't seem safe. Do you have any idea what to expect? I mean, you're not even sure what you're looking for."
"Nope."
"I'm tagging along."
"Huh? Why is that?"
"Curiosity."

After releasing Crow from my eyes, I have him sit on my shoulder and teleport the both of us to some point in close proximity to the location we've found...