Hyu's Adventures
Issues with Faye
by
, 07-18-2014 at 03:32 PM (1251 Views)
So... I've been planning on posting new entries to my DJ here on DV, but I'm not quite sure where to start.
My dreams are one hell of a mess at the moment, and they're probably not much fun to read.
It seems like many of them are centered around hurting me one way or another.
Usually this is done through Faye, a recurring DC.
They're not nightmares though. Well, at least most of them aren't.
I usually catch those when they start and become lucid, allowing me either change or stop them.
Here's an example of what I'm talking about:
I'm hanging out with some waking-life friends.
We're at V's place, up in his attic, where he has set up a bar and a large couch to relax.
Overall I'm having a good time, but there's something making me somewhat uncomfortable.
There's a woman with us that I don't think I have seen before.
But everyone is acting as if we've all known each other for years.
In fact, at one point, she is telling a story about her and I getting into trouble
when we were on vacation together.
What? I don't remember this woman, and we were supposedly spending out holidays together?
What is going on?
We have a few drinks, discuss some things that I cannot recall, and end up talking about what everyone
is currently doing in their lives. It's mostly a discussion about what our expectations were a few years back,
about what we would be doing now, and how everything actually turned out.
It's my turn, and I walk about making video games, and that I am not quite certain how I am going to transition
from university life to working. I haven't fully decided exactly what I want to do yet, but I do know
roughly which direction I want to go.
The woman I do not know interrupts me, and starts saying hurtful things.
I don't remember exactly how she said it, but she was basically stating that I will never amount to anything.
I am shocked. I do not understand how one of my friends would ever say anything like that.
I have a good relationship with all of my friends, nobody would ever do this.
But for some reason it really hurts. To the point where I actually consider whether or not I am a failure as a person.
Fortunately, I slowly become aware of what is actually happening.
I am dreaming.
This is a dream.
I attempt to look at the facial expression of everyone, to see if they agreed with what the woman said.
But they are all gone. I find myself alone with this woman now.
She looks pleased with herself. She has accomplished what she wanted.
I try to elevate my level of awareness by thinking about my current situation.
There is some improvement. Enough to realize that the woman is Faye.
"Wipe that grin off your face"
I am pissed.
She keeps doing this lately and I absolutely hate it.
I decide to confront her about it.
"Why do you keep doing this?"
"You are doing this to yourself. Remember, I am a part of yourself"
I remember having confronted her before, and she said the exact same thing.
Why is she my dream guide again? Lately her influence on my dreams has been purely negative...
Here's another example, where she attempts to distract me (from lucidity):
I am walking through the city together with a friend of mine.
She's rushing from shop to shop, looking at all the things.
Despite the situation being so hectic, I become lucid.
I also quickly realize that the woman I'm with is Faye.
I immediately decide that I want to leave. There is nothing of interest in this dream scene.
I concentrate, trying to leave the current scene behind and go to Riven instead.
But Faye interrupts me. She grabs my hand and drags me away.
I tell her to leave me alone, but she won't listen.
I feel anger building up inside of myself.
She's done this a few times now, trying to break my lucidity.
And usually she succeeds...
"You're not going anywhere!"
My muscles tense up from anger.
Suddenly the buildings around me begin to collapse, seemingly as a reacting to tensing up my muscles.
It's an odd feeling.
First there is some guilt from destroying the buildings by accident.
But that quickly disappears once I understand that nobody was in these buildings.
After all this is a dream.
Unfortunately Faye is having none of it.
She takes control of the surrounding DC's and makes them yell at me.
"Why did you do this? Why did you kill those people?"
Things like that.
I eventually loose lucidity...
These dreams are quite frustrating.
But I think that I can fix this mess if I manage to reach a high level of lucidity.
By that I mean, if manage to think clearly within a lucid dream, and be aware of this goal,
which is difficult with this level of interference and distraction.
Still, I'm confident that I'll manage to fix it... hopefully soon.
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