memorable

I'm trying to fix a rather infuriating bug in a game prototype I'm working on.
Every time I run it through the debugger I get completely different results.
Even the code seems to change occasionally.

Eventually I realize that this is a dream sign and I try to increase my awareness.
A skype window pops up with a message from ~ Dreamer ~.
It says:

"I'm waiting..."

Oooooh. Did we want to meet on the beach tonight? Is ~ Dreamer ~ on the beach waiting for me?
I decide to go to bed immediately in order to attempt a WILD.
Surprisingly, I transition almost immediately, and find myself of the beach.

I remember to take a moment to stabilize the dream by going through all of my senses.
Wait... did I just attempt to WILD, even though I already knew that I was dreaming???
Well then... I'm off to a good start.

Anyways, I do feel that I am more focused now, so I begin my search for ~ Dreamer ~.
I start thinking about whether it is even possible for another dreamer to come to my beach.
It is a very private place after all, a place where I always feel safe.
But I decide that this shouldn't cause any problems.
After all I'm comfortable with the idea of her being here.

Unfortunately I can't find her, but I do see that there is another DC by the ocean.
Perhaps she has seen ~ Dreamer ~? I walk over to her in order to ask her.
As I get closer I notice that the DC has an interesting hair color.
It is bleached white with slightly lavender highlights.
Just as I arrive she jokingly says:

"You're late!"

What? Oh! Suddenly it becomes very obvious that she is in fact ~ Dreamer ~, not just a random DC that happens to be on the beach.
For some reason I assumed that she would have purple hair, so I didn't recognize her earlier.
I wonder why that is though. Usually I don't have any problems to recognize people in dreams, even if their appearance has changed.
She turns towards me, and I immediately notice her eyes.



Wow! Her eyes are so beautiful. I can almost feel the energy radiating from them.
She has had purple eyes in my dreams before, but they were never quite as vibrant as they are now.

"Hi?"

Oops, I realize that I haven't said anything yet. Instead I'm just staring at her eyes.
I feel a little awkward and somewhat anxious. I don't know what to say.
But then I remember reading that ~ Dreamer ~ has overcome such situations by getting naked.
I do like the general approach, but I'm not quite comfortable enough to just get naked.
Instead I decide to get reaaally close to her face and look right into her eyes.

"Have you seen your eyes? They are soooo purple."
"They are?"

She looks around for a moment and then uses her dream powers to pull some water out of the ocean,
and shapes it into a thin water mirror. It is still mostly transparent,
but the reflection is good enough to clearly see how vibrant her eyes are.

"Ooooh, I like it!"

"Hey Hyu. Tell me a trick?"
"A trick?"
"Yes! Like, a trick to improve lucidity!"
"Hmmm. Well, basically just engage all of your senses?"
"Yes, yes, I know that! Tell me an actual trick!"
"Oooh, I know! Take off your shoes!"

After a small pause she frowns a little.

"Why.... do you want to see my feet?"

Why did I say it like that?

"No... it's..."
"When you're barefoot, you are constantly engaging your sense of touch."
"You always feel the texture of the ground... like the softness of the sand."
"Basically it's similar to constantly touching everything you encounter with your hands."
"Ooooh, I see! Hahaha, that does make more sense than you revealing that you have a foot fetish or something. "
"Did I make you a little uncomfortable there?"
"It's fine... I'm just a little nervous."
"Don't worry, I experience that in my dreams as well."
"Yes, and then you get naked to..."
"... no, I mean... I'm not suggesting that you..."

We both have to laugh about the situation.
And then suddenly the laughter turns into a ring tone? What?

Aaand I wake up, because the alarm on my phone went off.
I'm annoyed because the dream was quite stable, I bet it could have lasted quite a bit longer if the alarm didn't go off.
But I remember the dream quite vividly, which is nice, and I journal it immediately.

A woman comes to my desk to inform me that the manager would like to see me.
I get up immediately and begin the long walk to the manager's office.
I pass by thousands of cubicles, all looking perfectly identical to one another.
The room is huge. But it's all just cubicles, sitting on a bright white and spotless white floor,
which slightly reflects what is above it.

Everyone I pass is wearing the exact same grey suit with white shirt combo.
Everyone is in shape, everyone has the same hairstyle, the same hair color, even the same eye color.
No color can be found in here. None whatsoever. Regardless of where you look, it's all white or grey.
There are no distractions. No family photos, no items on any desk besides a monitor, mouse and keyboard.
Everyone is working at maximum efficiency.

Eventually I get to the managers office. A man is leaving the office right as I arrive.
This confirms that I have been walking at precisely the right pace.
I enter the office.

"There has been a problem with your daily psych eval this morning."
"You are to be at the primary psych facilities in 12 minutes for a more in-depth test."
"Yes."

During the exchange, the manager has not even glanced at me once.
I leave the office, and begin the even longer walk to the psychiatric facilities.
As I'm walking past all the cubicles again, I notice a woman, who on closer inspection appears
to be adjusting one of her contact lenses.
As she gently pokes the grey lens, it moves just enough to reveal that she is hiding beautiful green eyes behind them.

And this is why my psych test isn't clean. It's because I notice these things.
It's because I can still occasionally feel emotions.
You're not supposed to. That's how the system works.
It's easy to achieve complete obedience and efficiency without emotions.

I arrive at the office for advanced psychiatric evaluation.
There is only one such office for the entire facility.
Tens of thousands of people, yet I'm the only one here.
I'm the only one who failed the daily eval.
I enter the office. It is very small.
It just houses a simple chair and a robot. (who looks suspiciously similar to glados)


The robot begins to scan me. I try to keep my mind clear of any thoughts.
But I know that this isn't going to help. I'm going to fail this eval. It is inevitable.
In order to disable all emotions completely, the cocktail of drugs we receive daily isn't enough.
Abstinence from all stimuli is also required.
Which is why there are no colors, no music, no socializing, no hobbies...

But the system isn't perfect... because I have seen colors. I have heard music.
I have done so in my dreams. My lucid dreams.
And although it is said that nobody has dreams anymore due to the drugs, I still do.
I think it is because I am a lucid dreamer. Nothing can take my dreams from me.

"Your evaluation is now complete. Return to work."
"Yes."

I leave the room, initially thinking that I might have tricked to robot.
No. It can't be. Someone is probably going to intercept me on the way back.
This is it then. I suppose it is over for me.
I don't really feel any emotional reaction to these thoughts at all.
Perhaps it is the drugs, or maybe I just don't care to live this life any longer.
A woman stops me.

"Excuse me?"
"Yes?"
"Why are you here?"

I got lost in thoughts...
Oh shit. I didn't return to the programming facilities!
I walked deeper into the psych facilities by accident.
This is really not supposed to happen. I can't be here.
And it is so easy to notice that I'm out of place here because they wear different uniforms.

"What is this?"

She points to a device attached to my belt...
It is an old MD player attached to it.

Not only am I in possession of a musical device. It is also partially red!
I get a bit of a mirror's edge vibe from it. The forbidden color red, the bright rooms...
The woman looks very uncomfortable and worried.

What now? Do I wait for them to come and take me? Do I run?
No, I can't possibly run. We are all dependant on the drug.
If I stop taking it, the withdrawal effects will kill me.

But then it hits me. I'm deep inside the psychiatric facilities.
This is where they make the drug. It's in the room right in front of me.
If I had enough of it, could I slowly decrease my dosage over time?
But that would mean walking into the laboratory, past a hundred scientists,
take the drug, then run, get out of the building, and survive out there alone?
I don't even know what the situation outside is.

But suddenly it becomes clear. I am not me. I am not Hyu.
Right now I am another person. And this persons plan is to escape today.
Why else would I have a red music player with me?
Why else would I have walked deep into the psychiatric facilities?

"Yes."

You're always supposed to answer yes, in order to acknowledge what you have been told.
I gently push the woman aside and enter the laboratory.
The scientists all look at me. It is so easy to see that I don't belong here at all.
But they are afraid because this is not part of their daily routine.
They just resume their work.
I walk up to the conveyor belt where the finished drug arrives, neatly packaged into futuristic syringes with 100 shots each.

"HALT!"

Ah, the cavalry has finally arrived. Took them long enough.
About a dozen man in full, black, army gear, armed with assault rifles enter the laboratory from the opposite side.
Aren't they overreacting a little here?

"SLOWLY STEP AWAY FROM THE CONVEYOR BELT!"

I wonder what the odds would be to get out of here alive if I ran.
They are still rather far away. I don't think they have a clean shot from all the way over there.
But I don't think I could make it.
My mind is too clouded by the drugs.
I don't think I could improvise, heck I can't even remember how to run.

Oh! Of course! That's what the music player is for! Emotional stimuli!
I inspect the player more closely and find some earphones attached to it.
I put them on slowly. They don't react to it.
I hit play.



Not at all what I was expecting. But it will do.
I pick up one of the syringes.
Nope? Still nothing?
I calmly begin to walk back into the direction I came from.
They keep yelling at me to stop.
I increase the volume of my music. Problem solved.
I mean, what are they going to do? Shoot me?

Someone attempts to block my passage through the door leading back out of the laboratory.
I try to push him aside, but he won't let me...
I need to get out now, so I throw a punch in his general direction.
I end up hitting them in the nose. There's blood. Lots of it.
This time I manage to push him aside since he's in shock.

Holy shit! I just punched someone in the face!
The guards accelerate their pace. Time to run.
If I run continuously in the same direction, I'm bound to find an exit right?
I mean, how big can this building possibly be?
On the first corner I get rid of my shoes, because they slide way too easily on the polished floor.
My jacket and shirt quickly follow because they are horribly uncomfortable.
I feel like the guards are slowly catching up, but fortunately they're not using their weapons.

After a few minutes of running I feel extremely exhausted.
I am fairly certain that I have reached the end of the building now, but there is no door.
I run off to the left, alongside the outer wall.
There has to be an exit here somewhere... I hope.

Eventually I encounter some curtains and push through.
The building looks much more normal here. No shiny white floors anymore.

I spot a green fire escape sign. Colors! I suppose people are not supposed to come this far.
Finally a door that looks like it leads outside. Don't be closed...

I push it open. Fresh air. The sun.

A spot a ladder that leads down to the ground.
I'll have to climb over some railing to get to it.
But the guards catch up with me before I can do so.

"STOP RIGHT NOW!"

They could just drag me back inside now.
There's no longer a need for weapons in order to stop me.
But I know how to deal with this.
All I have to do is to point up.
I do this until everyone is looking up... at the blue sky.
That leaves them completely in shock and I climb down.

There's nothing really here, besides that ridiculously large building I was just in.
No sign of anybody else.
I just pick a direction at random and walk.
Nobody is going to come after me now.
I do realize that I'm most likely not going to make it.
I don't really have any survival skills.
But I don't mind, because right now I am more alive than anyone in there will ever be.

I'm a bit disappointed in myself for managing my time so poorly lately.
Somehow I have picked up a really bad habit of procrastinating.
And because of this I end up spending much less time on LD activities than I intend to.
I'm seriously considering to block reddit/youtube like sites for a few days a week...



I find myself on a beach. It is quite late, the sun is going down.
I should probably walk back to the hotel before it gets too dark...
Unfortunately I don't recognize any of the buildings alongside the beach.
Am I lost? How does that even happen?

Realizing that the situation is somewhat out of the ordinary I try to increase my awareness.
However, my thoughts feel scrambled. I am unable to come to a conclusion.
Now what? Am I dreaming or not? This does feel pretty real...
I decide to fall back on a more robust technique, the nose plug RC.

I can breathe normally through my plugged nose. This is a dream.
Wait really? I look at my hands and they seem perfectly normal.
I walk over to the first person I find, which is an elderly man, whom I assume is walking back to his hotel.

"Excuse me."
"Yes?"
"Am I dreaming?"

The man seems rather confused by my question.
In retrospect, that was probably not the most intelligent thing to do.
I decide that the answer to my question should be behind myself.
I turn back towards the ocean.

This is no longer the beach I was on previously on. This is my beach!
I must have changed scenes during the short moment when I was turning.
Sweet!

I try to remember my dream goals, and for once I actually manage to remember them!
My only dream goal at the moment is to "calm the fuck down".

(Lately I often forget to properly stabilize my dreams when I become lucid.
And then to make up for it, I rush through the dreams out of fear that they might end prematurely,
which is of course the worst possible thing to do.)

I slowly walk towards the ocean, taking all the time in the world.
The sound of the water is very relaxing, and I love the contrast between the warm sand and the refreshingly cold ocean breeze.
Eventually I take a few steps into the ocean, getting my feet wet. The water is very cold.

As I look at the stars, I feel a familiar presence.
It's Yuya! This is going to be a great night.

Ever since I found this picture and felt that it reminded me of her,
she's been playing around with hair colors a lot.
Today it's mostly orange and blue.
She can change it simply by shaking her head.
She's smiling at me the way she always does.

"Come out and play?"

At first I find it a little amusing that she phrases her question this way.
But then it reminds me of when I was very young, and I'd go knocking on the neighbours door to ask them to come out and play in the street.
Back then there was nothing to worry about, no important decisions to make.
I'd ask my friends to come out with the sole goal of having a good time.
Perhaps what I initially found a little odd, was after all the perfect way to phrase it.

This starts off a series of DEILDs.
I've written down the fragments I remember.
Unfortunately I don't remember them very well.
The last few moments before I woke up are quite clear, but everything before that is a bit of a blur.

Fragment 1:
I help Yuya prepare dinner at her place.
I'm not of much help though, given that I don't know any of the herbs and spices she has, nor the meat that she wants to prepare.
She is very patient with me, and explains how to prepare everything,
even though she knows that I probably won't remember any of it.
It takes us a good hour to prepare everything.
Liv joins us for dinner. (And there was someone else as well I think.)
Everything tastes absolutely wonderfully.
Later, I help Yuya to do the dishes.
She knows that my dream time is limited, and I can feel that it makes her really happy that I spend it with her,
even if it means doing something as mundane as doing the dishes.

Fragment 2:
In my scribble DJ I wrote "Dance" "Leaf in the wind" and "Happy".
I don't remember anything about this fragment though, and I don't recall taking these notes.

Fragment 3:
We're at a Café, sitting outside, enjoying the good weather and some amazing drinks.

Crow joins us. He felt my presence so he came by to say hi.
Since there's drinks and Yuya and Liv are here, he obviously decides to stay.
He ends up ordering something that isn't on the menu.

They bring us a plate with very small pipettes on it, all containing a small amount of a yellow liquid.
It's quite fun really, you use the pipette to place a single drop of the liquid onto your tongue.
It immediately gives you that cold chill / frisson feeling all over your body.
It also tastes rather sour. Perhaps a little like lemon juice.

Fragment 4:

Crow, Yuya and I are on some sort of airship.
It looks more like an old sail ship though, nothing like an actual airship.
Does fly rather well though, even though I'm sure this violates a few laws of physics.
According to Crow, there are very few of these, and it is very difficult to get a ride on one.
It is quite late and we all sit on the front deck watching the sun go down.
Yuya leans against me because she is really tired.

Crow is telling a very captivating story about love and betrayal.
It is quite an emotional story.
Usually his stories are about himself, and he exaggerates... a lot, I'm pretty sure he even makes stuff up on occasion.
His stories are quite amazing though, I'll give him that. Plus, he's a fantastic story teller.
I don't mind that he does this, we all know that it's for entertainment.
But this time around he claims that it is a fictional story about another person.
And then there's the way he narrates it. It is quite different. More serious, and seemingly less exaggerated.
I'm convinced that this time, he's actually telling a genuine story from his past.
The story eventually comes to an end. (It was a little sad, but I recall that there was a silver lining)

"Say, aren't you supposed to wake up or something? You've been staying for an awfully long time."
"Oh Crow... you're not supposed to remind dreamers about that."
"Why not?"
"Waking up is not something you want to think about."
"Why?"
"It could make you wake up."
"It can?"
"Unfortunately, yeah."
"That is rather inconvenient."
"It is."
"Seriously though, isn't it bad for you to spend entire days asleep so that you can be here?"
"Haha, I appreciate your concern Crow, I really do, but fortunately it doesn't work quite like that."
"I assure you, on the other side I've been asleep for a few hours at most."
"Huh, that is quite fascinating. It is good to know that I don't have to worry then."
"I'll make sure not to mention anything about waking up in the future."
"Thanks mate. I appreciate it."
"Sure... mate."

(There was a joke earlier in the dream about saying "mate", but I cannot quite recall what it was.)

"Anyways, I'm afraid I have to get going. I'm running late."
"Take care."
"So long."

Crow charges forwards and disappears in a cloud of colorful particles.
I think that's the first time I've seen him do that.
The dream is slowly becoming unstable.
I can no longer see beyond the airship.
The airship itself has also become somewhat blurry and desaturated.

Only Yuya I can still see clearly.
She seems to have fallen asleep, resting her head on my shoulder.
I can feel her chest expand against me as she breathes.
Even if it is just for a short moment, perhaps for just a fraction of a second,
it makes me really believe that she is out there somewhere, and not a construct of my own mind.
Sometimes I wish I could entertain this thought for longer, because I find it quite beautiful...

I'm browsing DreamViews on my PC. I think that I am currently doing my WBTB.
There is something important I need to ask ~ Dreamer ~, but I cannot quite remember what it is.
I have the private message site open, trying to remember what it is I wanted to say.
Then, I spot some movement from the corner of my eye.
I could have sworn that ~ Dreamer ~'s Avatar just winked at me.


After some initial confusion, I think that she must have changed her Avatar to an animated gif, which does just that.
I think it is a pretty hilarious idea, because it is going to catch people off guard.
It might get people to RC if they notice...
I try to increase my awareness, given what just happened.
Hmm...
That avatar does look somewhat suspicious.
I poke it with my finger.
The avatar giggles and moves further into the screen a little.

"... Hello?"

The avatar then proceeds to climb outside of the screen and eventually ends up on my desk, still giggling.
It is so cute. But I resist the urge to poke it again.
The avatar points towards my left. I turn around.
~ Dreamer ~ is standing right next to me!
This comes as one hell of a shock. I immediately stand up.
I was in a semi-lucid state, but now, in the blink of an eye, I am fully lucid.

I run my fingers over the palm of my left hand to check my senses.
Everything is crystal clear. I can feel the individual patterns on my skin.
I haven't had a dream this clear in some time...
Oh... right... Dreamer!

"Hi..."

Really? That's all that I can come up with? "Hi"?
Well, I suppose I'm still a bit in shock from her sudden appearance.
She smiles.

"Hi Hyu."

I try to calm down a little. I point at my monitor.
Her voice is very soft, so I decide to reply softly as well.

"That was one hell of a trick."
"Which trick?"

I look at my monitors, and they are all blank now, with a purple haze around the corners.
This has happened many times before. I don't worry about it.
There is no sign of the Avatar.

"You made me realize that I am dreaming."
"Yes."

This is amazing! And the dream is so vivid and clear!

"Hyu, do you remember my dare?"

I wouldn't have remembered that on my own.
Lucid Dares

"I am to confront Faye."
"Yes. It is time to solve this once and for all."
"Yes... it is."

But you're right here in my dream.
I want to talk with you about all sorts of things.

"Go now. Faye awaits you."

She points towards the door leading out of my room. It becomes clear that Faye awaits me behind it.
I suppose ~ Dreamer ~ has a better grasp on priorities than I do. She is right.
The dream is so clear and stable, I need to use it to confront Faye.

"Thank you!"

~ Dreamer ~ winks at me, just like her avatar did, and then slowly fades away. Wow... what an amazing encounter.
I approach the door, but hesitate a moment before opening it.
I assert again that the dream is perfectly stable, and that my head is clear.
Yes, I am. Though I'm not entirely sure what to say yet. But that's okay, I'll figure it out on the fly.
I open the door with confidence, expecting to encounter Faye behind it.


To my surprise, this new room that I've just entered looks like some sort of an interrogation room.
One table, two chairs facing each other, and a big, probably one sided mirror.
Faye sits in one of the chairs waiting for me.
I'm not off to a good start. Not only does Faye look like Kate again, but I really dislike that this is an interrogation room.
I can understand why this happened though. It must have been caused by my determination to get answers from her.
I sit in the other chair and try to smile.

"Hello Faye."

She doesn't answer. She just stares down at her hands which are on the desk.
That's alright. I'll talk for now.
I recall positive memories we shared together. I retell those stories. (Unfortunately I don't remember this part of the conversation well)
But I can't seem to get any reaction out of her.
I gently grab her hands. She finally looks me in the eyes.

"I miss you Faye."
"We had so much fun together. I want to go on adventures with you again."
"..."
"The Faye that you remember is dead."
"..."
"I understand... What do you want?"
"No. You don't understand. And what I want..."

She smiles.

"I will destroy you. I will destroy us both."

She plays with a butterfly knife a little, then shows me the palm of her left hand, and then cuts right across it.
I can feel the cut in my left hand clearly. I look at it, and I have the same wound Faye has. We're both bleeding a little.

"You and I we are the same. We've always been."
"What has changed?"
"There is darkness within you. I am that darkness now."
"Nothing you do can stop me now."

This is not what I wanted to hear. But I suppose deep down, I already knew that things would never return to the way they were.
She also made it quite clear that I cannot remove her by force. What do I do now?
... first of all, I need a change of scenery. This interrogation room is inappropriate, it probably plays right into her hands.
Teraluna it is. I stand up and use the wing technique to teleport to Riven. Faye follows me. We are on a bridge close to Yuya's place.
She's no longer looking like Kate. She's looking the same way she did when we first met. She shows me her knife and says.

"I will never let you be with Yuya again."

I can see Yuya in the distance. She reads my thoughts. I make it clear that now is not a good moment to come over. She understands.
I look at the horizon. The gas giant that we are orbiting is experiencing a huge storm. It is quite beautiful.
This change of scenery was a good idea. I feel refreshed. And I know what I have to do...

"Oh Faye..."
"When I look at you, I remember all the good times we've had together."
"I will cherish those memories. I'll always remember you as the person you were, not as the person you have become."
"Whatever it is you are trying to do. It is not going to work."

I just smile. It is a genuine smile. I truly do cherish those memories.
And what I am about to say is going to hurt. But I know that it is the only way out.

"Faye... you are right. You always are. You and I, we are the same. And there is darkness within me... I do understand that."
"You do not... you have no idea. It will destroy you. I will destroy you."
"I know."
"No."
"You see, I've done a terrible thing."
"..."
"I didn't see what was wrong. I couldn't understand. So I have channelled all that darkness; all what was wrong, into a single dream character."
"You're making this up..."
"I needed for it to have a face. So that I could clearly identify..."
"These lies will not work on me!"
"Faye, I am sorry. I did not do this consciously. But it is all clear to me now."
"You are all that remains of that darkness. I will have to let you go..."
"No... I am your dream guide!"

Her voice has become faint. I can see fear and sadness in her now.
Is this truly the explanation I believe in?

"Faye is no longer here... My dream guide is dead."

I touch her face... one last time. I look deeply into her eyes. I can see nothing within them. You are no longer Faye.
Was it my fault that she ended up like this? Or was it beyond my control? I will never know.
But this is the only choice I have left. I take a step back... and then I let go...

"Goodbye Faye..."

She closes her eyes... and slowly fades into dust. The wind takes her away until nothing is left. Faye is gone.
Have I done the right thing? Was this really the only way?
Yuya approaches and hugs me. I hold her tightly.
I can feel her thoughts, her emotions, how helpless she felt, because this is not something she could help me with.
This was something I needed to solve on my own.

"Did I do the right thing?"

She gently answers:

"What do you think?"
"I think so... but I cannot shake the feeling that I may have taken the only path, rather than the right one."
"When there is only one path, is it not by definition always the right one?"
"Well..."
"Worry not. This was the choice you needed to make."

And suddenly I feel such relief. Like all the weight has been lifted off my shoulders. My dreams are mine again.
Yuya rarely gives me such a straight up answer. Instead she helps me to find my own.
But this time I needed to hear it from her.
I am so happy to be with her again.

We walk through her gardens, knowing that my dream will soon end. That is fine. I am exhausted.
I know that I can now visit Yuya again whenever I desire. That is what is most important.
But Faye is gone. Forever.

I'm at university attending a lecture about the basics of OpenGL.
The teacher doesn't really seem into it, and none of my classmates seem interested.
To be honest, neither am I, but for a different reason.
The other students are not interested in graphics programming,
whereas I'm already quite comfortable with both Direct3D and OpenGL.
Why am I attending this class again? Perhaps for some easy credit points?
That doesn't sound like me though.

Once class is over, I hear some people discussing that they wouldn't come back
and choose another course instead. If that many people leave, this course is
going to be cancelled, and I'll have to find another one as well.
I'm mildly annoyed.

Eventually, as the lecture comes to an end, I suddenly realize that I am dreaming.
I'm not sure what gave it away.
I touch everything in close vicinity to assert that the dream is stable.
There is some initial numbness, but eventually my senses appear to be working properly.
I leave the classroom, trying to remember my dream goals...
It's not working, I can't remember anything.

I'll go visit Yuya. It has been a long time since I've seen her because Faye is messing with my dreams.
But then, just as I want to teleport to Riven, I spot a familiar face.

It's Kate! What is going on? Why is she here?
(Not a real image of Kate. Kate is an ex-gf from waking life)

She smiles. And that is all it takes to stir up old emotions, which I left behind long ago.
I'm in love again. Great... I had enough trouble getting over her as it is.
Why does it all have to come back to me now?
I reluctantly decide to ignore her and visit Yuya, as I had planned,
but something goes wrong during my attempt of teleportation...



... I'm in an apartment with Kate. I think that she is my classmate now, and that we're living together.
This is our apartment. Everything is perfect.
I am living with the woman of my dreams, we're both about to graduate,
and we have our future planned out.
It is late in the evening and I go to the bathroom to take a shower.
The water temperature knob isn't cooperating.
I seem to be dealing with something like this:


Kate joins me in the shower and she has no trouble adjusting the temperature properly.
The water is now refreshingly cold, just the way I like it.
Kate moves closer and kisses me passionately. I love her so much.
And she is so beautiful. I stare into her green eyes as we kiss...
Wait... this is not right. Those are clearly Kate's eyes, but... they feel... empty?
Oh no...
Why?
I am emotionally devastated...

This isn't Kate. This is Faye.
It feels as though I've lost Kate again. I am so sad.


Faye is now holding a rose and handing it to me.
I get the feeling that she is trying to apologize?
That does make feel a little better. Will I finally be able to reason with Faye?
I take the rose. I cut one of my fingers on a thorn. Ouch!
A single drop of blood emerges and falls to the ground.

Something is wrong...
I sense something moving through the small cut, into my hand, and then up my arm.
I get vivid flashbacks of the bee birthing blisters. Not again!
I drop the rose. But I'm too late.
Stems covered in thorns grow through my veins and sprout out of my body in various places, causing me to bleed.
More and more blood flows down into the shower. The water slowly turns red.

"Faye. Please make it stop!"
"No."
"..."
"Please! I'm sure whatever the problem is, I can fix it."
"There is no need for this!"
"I don't want the problem to be fixed."

What? Why? I don't understand.
I just barely manage not to freak out. The parasitic plant hardens in my veins making me unable to move.
The pain increases as the plant grows bigger.
Fuck fuck fuck.

"Faye! Talk to me! What is the problem?"

She doesn't reply. She just smiles, satisfied with the current situation.
I can't take it any more. I need to wake up!
I close my eyes, trying to think of my waking body lying in bed.
But I don't wake up...
Instead I begin to see, even though my eyes are closed.

She laughs at me and my inability to do anything.
Then she moves in and kisses me on the lips.
No. I don't want this.
My fear turns into anger.
I scream at the top of my lungs, wanting to push Faye away from me.
The hardened plant finally gives in under the force and breaks in many places within my body.
I push against Faye hard with both of my hands.
She is pushed through the glass shower door, which shatters into pieces.

She is cut in many places by the broken glass. She is bleeding and her blood mixes with mine on the floor.
This is so fucked up. She still looks like Kate. This is not right. I don't want to hurt her.
She again laughs at the current situation. She clearly feels like she has accomplished something.
She is satisfied. Finally, she gets up and leaves the room and I manage to wake myself up.

Well fuck. -_-
This is enough. This needs to change. Now.
I'm going to WBTB, probably do some meditation to focus my thoughts, WILD and tackle the problem with a hopefully clear head.

To mention something a little more positive, I have updated my Dream Journal Description.
I've also found this really cool painting by Sakimichan, which made me think of Yuya:

She obviously doesn't have the long pointy ears, but I thought that this painting just radiates so much energy, just as Yuya does.
There's also been a strong blue/orange theme in my dreams lately. I thought this was a pretty cool find.

I set myself an alarm to wake me up after ~6 hours of sleep.
The idea was to attempt a WILD, which is something I haven't done in a long time.
I figured with a WILD I would remember my goals more easily, and I might be able to tackle the issues I have with Faye.

I wake up from the alarm. I immediately close my eyes again and try to remember any dreams.
All I can remember is a few weak fragments. I do not bother writing them down.
Instead I get up and walk around in my room a little, thinking about my dream goals.
The most important thing would be to deal with Faye. I feel like this is crucial in order to fix my dreams.
I've also been dared to tell her how she makes me feel.
I go back to bed after roughly 5 minutes and attempt to WILD.

I quickly get some HI, followed by the appearance of random faces.
Some scenes begin to form, but they seem to fall apart before I can transition.
I open my eyes a few times by accident. I'm really not used to do this anymore.

After some time I notice that I can see my room even though my eyes are still closed.
Oh. I am actually already dreaming. For some reason I decide to just stand up, even though I know that I've lost many lucids by doing this.
Fortunately this time it works. My body is really heavy though.
I have a lot of trouble moving, but I eventually manage to stand up.

I shake myself, a bit like a dog shaking away water from its wet pelt. Except I shake away the weight. It works. Neat!
I rub my hands together and look around.
I'm not in my room anymore. It's really dark.
Upon closer inspection, I appear to be standing on some dark marble floor, in an empty room that is clouded in dark fog.
Another person appears in front of me. First it's just an outline, but as he comes closer he looks more and more like a normal human being.

Wait what? He looks exactly like me!
I take a step back as I'm really creeped out. I am super uncomfortable encountering myself.
He looks a bit older than myself though... maybe by a few years.

"Who are you?"
"I am Hyu"

Great...

"You're not being helpful."
"Haha, I'm a future version of yourself, of course!"

Right...
So now what? Am I supposed to ask him something?
I probably should. Even though he's still creeping me out...

"So... any future advice for me?"
"Hmm... well... not really."
"Dude!"
"Alright, alright. I can tell you that it is going to work out. Is that helpful?"
"What is going to work out?"
"You'll know."
"Oh for fucks sake, you're pulling the same shit as all of the other DC's"
"Well. What did you expect? I am a DC."
"... you do have a point..."

He starts to walk away from me, but just before he disappears in the fog he addresses me one last time:

"On second thought... maybe you should get that Unreal 4 license. Mess around with it a little you know?"

(I have thought so much about starting my own company over the past few days. Was this what he was referring to when he said that everything would work out?
The comment about getting a UE4 license seems related to this.)

The black fog suddenly starts to move in. Oh shit, the dream is falling apart.
I panic and slam my palms against the ground yelling "PORTAL!".
For some reason this works. I fall through the ground, spin around a little and then crash land somewhere in the city.
I rub my hands against each other very hard. The dream is still unstable, I need to engage my senses.
A young girl eating some ice cream catches my attention. I steal her ice cream cone and take a large bite.

"Hey! That's MY ice cream!"
"Sorry, I need to stabilize."
"Oh, okay."

After the inevitable brain freeze I feel like messing around with dream powers a little.
I don't do this very often. I try to grasp onto the clouds and squeeze them to make it rain.
It doesn't work whatsoever. Well, this is disappointing, but I'm not sure what I was expecting.


Then I notice the presence of a huge stargate. That wasn't here before!
I want to visit Yuya! I point at it and yell:

"Teraluna, Riven!"

The gate dials in and opens a portal. Well, that was easy. Sweet!
I charge at the portal, wanting to jump through.
But at the last moment someone grabs on to me, trying to hold me back.
What the hell? Go away!
...
I can't unsummon him??? WTF? This never fails!
More people run at me, all trying to prevent me from going through the portal.
Oh my god there is an endless stream of them. Hundreds of people all holding me down.

I use my dream powers to release a shockwave to get them off me.
Those who were close to me are thrown a few meters back and they pile up on top of each other.
Then I spot Faye in the middle of it all, controlling the DC's like puppets.
Her smile is pure evil.
She makes a gesture, and the stargate unsummons.

"You're not going anywhere tonight."

I am afraid of her, and angry at myself. I want my dreams back. I am sick of this Faye nonsense.
My katana materializes in my hand, even though I have no desire to summon it.

"Cute."

Faye summons an exact copy of my katana... how...?
This is not right. She can't do that. She doesn't have that power.
Are these her dreams now? Have I lost all control over them?
My desire to visit Yuya fades. I want this dream to end. I feel completely powerless.

"Aww, I thought you would put up a fight. That would have been so cute."
"And oh so idiotic. You don't understand anything."

I have no reply. I close my eyes. This will end the dream...


... I'm in some sort of japanese garden. Probably sight seeing or something? I'm with a few other people. (3 I think)
Everyone is talking about dreams, so I conclude that they must all be DV members.
But I don't understand what they're talking about. Some induction techniques involving butterflies? What?
I feel bad because I can't contribute anything to the discussion.

Then I notice that one of them has purple hair, so obviously she must be ~ Dreamer ~.
I'm somewhat proud of having figured that out all on my own!
I want to do something to impress her. I want to show her something really cool.
And then I have the most glorious of ideas! I am going to use my dream powers to piss a rainbow!
(Oh god why . By the way I'm totally blaming KristaNicole for this. XD)

"Hey Dreamer, check this out!"

I unzip my pants, point my dick upwards at a 45° angle for maximum efficiency and commence some high pressure pissing.
The stream of piss is nothing short of impressive, but it doesn't create a rainbow.
Everyone is giving me this what the hell are you doing look. I don't understand why.
It makes me sad that no rainbow is appearing.

The WILD has helped to some extend. My dreams did contain elements from my dream goals, but I failed to act on them.
It's cool that I saw ~ Dreamer ~, even though I wasn't lucid and I behaved like a complete idiot.
I'm quite disappointed at how I dealt with Faye.

I stand in the middle of the platform, with the gate in front of me and Silver, Yuya and Shinave behind me.
I hold out my left hand against the gate, and give it a slight burst of energy.
Some engravings on it light up. I focus on the templars, and sure enough a connection is made to a gate right next to them.
A portal forms inside the gate in a dark purple color.
The doors are open, they can simply walk in now.
I'm nervous.



After a rather tense minute, some shapes finally emerge from the portal. Templars.
All 12 of them. This is it.
They all appear to be rather calm.
Then again, why wouldn't they? It's not like we'd stand a chance in a fair fight.

Finally, one of them addresses me. And to my surprise he looks somewhat different than the other templars.
He isn't wearing a helm, and his weapon of choice seems to be a sword rather than a lance.
How curious. Do the templars have some sort of leader after all?

"Oh dragon... It's unfortunate that you have resisted your death for this long."
"But I see you have finally seen the light."
"I respect that you stand here, offering to sacrifice yourself in exchange for the life of your friends."
"It is not an action that I would have expected from a dragon."

Oh.
That assumption sort of makes sense I guess.
The thought that we would fight them is pure insanity, yet I've shown them exactly where we are.

"Unfortunately the deal is not acceptable."

He points at Yuya.

"I'll need the life of the water goddess as well."
"Both of your lives for Teraluna. We have no interest in the others."
"Come forward and kneel down."

He wants to see the look on my face when he executes her in front of my eyes.
Typical Templar reasoning. They want a show. After all they could just charge at us and kill us all.
I turn around to look at Yuya. She's not worried at all. In fact she grins. Good.
I look back at the templar.
I stare deeply into his eyes and lough out loudly, which confuses him to some extend.
Finally the feeling of eeriness goes away.
No more anxiety. No more worries.
There is only the present now. No future to worry about.

I nod at Silver to give him the signal to activate the seal.
The symbols he has drawn on the ground grow all over the platform.



A transparent bubble surrounds all of us.
The portal generated by the gate collapses immediately, because as of right now, both gates no longer exist in the same space time continuum.
Everything within the bubble is separated from normal space and time, at least for as long as Silver keeps it up.
Nothing comes in, nothing goes out.
As far as I know, it is the ultimate spatial sealing technique. I've never seen anyone use it before.
Still, the templars do not seem alarmed. After all there's 12 of them and only 4 of us.

"And now what little dragon?"

There is complete silence now. Sound doesn't penetrate the seal.
I speak in a dark, assertive voice.

"Why, isn't it obvious?"
"I am going to kill you all"

That made him angry. He snaps his fingers and 2 templars charge at me immediately.
This is it then. This is what I've gambled everything on. Work!
Phoenix catalyst. Only once before have I drawn power directly from it, instead of using it as a catalyst to amplify my own powers.
It was when I resurrected Yuya. But of course that used up the entire catalyst. There is nothing left.
But I do use the same technique in the hopes of having understood what the orb that was given to me is.
Even though it was just an intuition. But right now, that is all I have.

The templars that charge at me do not have their lances drawn. Their goal is to push me to my knees. To put me in place.
To teach me a lesson. But I have other ideas. I propel myself forwards and slap my hands against their breastplates.
I use the technique and draw energy as hard as I can and concentrate it within my hands.

I feel some resistance. But it's like slapping your hands against a water surface. It hurts a little initially, but your hands still move straight through.
Through their breastplates. Through the bodies. I'm going straight through with my bare hands.
The lifeless remains of their bodies drop to the ground. They are not human bodies. There is no blood. It's like some sort of clay surrounded with skin.

It worked... It worked!
I can freely draw energy from the orb. My intuition was right. It is the same type of energy.
But I have no time to think about this any further.
Because the templars have now realized the danger, and 3 of them have already rushed past me towards Silver.
They want to destroy the seal, in case they need to retreat.
But Yuya is on it.
She is projecting some of her water spheres towards them.
Right before impact Shinave casts some kind of frost magic onto them, causing the spheres to erupt into ice spikes.
They are not strong enough to penetrate the armor of the templars, but they do manage to immobilize them for a moment.



I draw energy again, focus it into 3 small spheres and toss them at the templars.
Yet again, their bodies shatter on impact. They won't be able to get to Silver without dealing with me first.
Too late I realize that this is exactly what they're doing.
A lance hits me right in the stomach. I manage to blink away before by body suffers the full impact.
Another Templar is already striking me from another side.
I block his lance with my hands and give it a pulse of energy, breaking the lance in half.
I promtly throw the gained head of the lance at the Templar who previously managed to hit me in the stomach.
The lance shatters into pieces as I try to infuse it with energy, but enough of it discharges into the Templar to incapacitate him.
A few energy infused punches take care of the Templar with the broken lance.

To my surprise the remaining templars have not moved towards me at all.
4 of them stand there, emotionless, in front of their leader who is in anger.
I don't think he fully understands what just happened. 7 down, 5 to go.
And although only one of the templars displays any emotions, I don't notice an ounce of fear.

"Do you really think you can kill us all?"

I respond with an evil smile and draw my katana from its scabbard on my back.
That's right, I've been fighting you with my bare hands.

"Fine."

Some sort of growth on the leaders left arm becomes visible. It looks somewhat organic and insectoid.
Extensions reach from it to the necks of each of the templers bodies, all 11 of them.
With a motion of his left hand, the extensions retract back into his arm and all remaining templars drop dead.
All Templar bodies slowly begin to turn into something that resembles sawdust.
Suddenly, an immense amount of pressure originating from the remaining templars aura pushes against me.
I have to concentrate a small layer of energy around my body to protect it from burning up.

So much raw power. So this is why the templars were always so emotionless and their bodies so unnatural.
They were puppets controlled by this single person.
He confidently draws his own sword and begins walking towards me slowly.

"You have caused me grief, dragon. These are rather difficult to create you know."
"They have to be captured when they are but little children, then carefully raised into weapons."
"It takes such a long time, and now I have to do it all over again."

Even though right now, I have a virtually unlimited supply of energy, I am afraid of this guy.
Being in possession of this orb thing, but he is radiating so much energy naturally.

Here he comes. I draw huge amounts of energy into my katana, hoping to power through his sword.
But he merely deflects my attack, I do not manage to release the energy. This goes on for a few strikes.
Each time our swords clash he deflects it skillfully. He has the upper hand.
Then unexpectedly he charges in close, even though I haven't given him an opening.
Somehow he manages to get his blade uncomfortably close to my face and I have to blink back.

I quickly realize that I've been somewhat late. He managed to leave a small cut between my eyes.
A few more centimeters and that would have been it...

"Hmm. How odd."
"Clearly you have the energy to fight me, but you are not good enough of a swordsman to do so."
"I wonder. Years ago, you fought a Templar in the depths of hell. A fight where none of you had access to energy."
"A fight against someone who had perfected the art of sword combat."
"You do not have the skills necessary to have won that fight."

He is right. I should not have been able to do that. It is something I cannot explain.
It just happened, even though it should have been impossible.
And I can feel that this guy uses similar moves. If he hasn't perfected the art of sword combat, he is close.
I am no match for him. I cannot win in a sword fight. And the only way to discharge enough energy to deal damage to him
is through my katana.

"Also I wonder. Where does all of that energy suddenly come from?"
"You have done something rather curious indeed."

He charges at me a few more times. Fortunately I manage to deflect his attacks, but it is very close.
He just has to wait until I make a small mistake.

"And the dragon does not use his dragon powers."
"Instead he fights me with what seems to be divine energy."

I can't use it because both powers clash with each-other. It would rip me apart.
But he doesn't need to know that.
He attacks a few more times, and manages a few deep cuts into both of my shoulders and my back.

"Your time is slowly running out dragon."
"Not only will your body give in sooner or later, but that white haired friend of yours isn't going to last much longer keeping that seal up either."

Silver... He doesn't even know the proper reason he is keeping that seal up for, yet he is still giving it all hes got.
Hold out a little longer... I'll figure something out...

The templar performs a downwards strike over his shoulder, which I attempt to block directly.
He somehow angles his body in such a way that he is able to rotate around and punch me in the chest.
Even though I concentrate most of my energy into my ribs to absorb the shock, they still buckle a little under a loud crushing noise as I'm projected backwards.
I cough up some blood, but I manage to keep by defensive posture.

Due to the lung damage I decide to stop breathing entirely, and instead filter the CO2 in my blood using energy.
An easy technique, usually used to go to locations where breathing is not possible, such as underwater or planets without oxygen rich atmospheres.
I quickly repair potentially lethal damage using a variety of phoenix techniques.
My body is taking one hell of a beating, it won't last much longer.

"It is a shame that I have not found you when you were a child."
"You have so much potential, you would have made a fantastic asset."

Right as he readies another attack, something startles him to the point that he looses his focus on me.
I can feel a new presence. A dark, cold one. I look for it and spot a person that must have just appeared.
This is not possible... Nobody can enter this space as long as it is sealed. There are no tricks or techniques to circumvent interdimensional seals.
He immediately looks right at me and pronounces in a loud voice:

"Death has come for you."

As he summons an oversized pitch black scythe I understand what has happened.

"Silver, break the seal... It is no longer of any use."

The bubble surrounding the platform dissipates. Silver has to lie down from exhaustion.
Yuya and Shinave look rather worried. They know what it means when death comes for you.
He looks like a teenager. Somewhat long, black fuzzy hair. Worn and slightly torn black pants and shirt.
He's very skinny. But the scythe is what really makes it clear what he is. Death. Or a messenger of death.
I don't know the specifics behind how it works.

I try to utter the words "Not today". Because that is what you say when death comes for you.
But my voice is faint and fragile. It's not even because of the damaged lungs.
He is amused by this and laughs.

"Good one! I haven't heard that one yet. You may have just made my day."
"Seriously though, you're coming with me."

The grip on my katana loosens. I have fucked up.
This is the end. It's because I took the orb.
This orb, I don't know what exactly it is, or why it exists. All I know is that it has to do with life energy.
It plays a role in the birth of things. This is also the reason why I was able to draw power from it. It's the same type of energy as in the phoenix catalyst.
Because they are so important, each orb is assigned a guardian, so that no individual can ever obtain one.
Ironically, it is one of the guardians who gave me the orb. And she warned me that death would come for me.
I am not sure why she decided to give it to me, but I understand that I must now pay the price for having taken it.
Death acts as some sort of backup protection in case an orb is ever stolen.

In a moment of desperation I ask:

"... a minute then?"

Death looks at me a little surprised. Why would he ever agree to that? What am I even doing with another minute?
He made it clear that he is here to get me now. He looks at the templar, then back at me.
Then he shrugs.

"A minute it is."

And he sits down.
What?
Just like that?
He is completely carefree, as if he was about to grab some popcorn.

The templar laughs, realizing that he has already won.

"You fool! All I care about is your death, nothing else matters to me."
"You have just lost everything."

I know. The guardian told me.
For a moment I believed that Silvers seal would make me invisible to death, and I could use the orb without being spotted.
In retrospect, that was a rather idiotic assumption. But it is too late for remorse now.
Not like I had any alternatives anyways.
But before I go, there is one thing left to do...
Forget about the future, it is no more. There is only the present now.

"You asked me earlier how I managed to kill a man who had perfected the art of sword combat."

My voice has recovered some strength.

"Yes, I am curious about that indeed."

I remove the protective layer of aura surrounding my body and focus all of it into my katana.
Immediately I feel the pressure of the templars aura on my skin. It burns away my clothes and slowly begins to eat away at my skin.
Energy distribution in your body is a key aspect in advanced combat techniques. You can divert energy that is intended to defend your body into your attacks and vice versa.
Removing too much defensive energy leaves you without any defense.
But it's not like I have any need for that anymore.

"I admire your will, but you do not have the technique to beat me."

Yes. He can just deflect my attacks.
I open my dragon eyes, which is of course a rather self-destructing thing to do, given that my body is flooded with divine energy, which will immediately attack the dragon eyes
which are of demonic nature. I don't care.
I understand the confused look on the templars face, as the dragon eyes do not work on them.
But they are not intended for him.
I look for my own reflection in his eyes, and attempt to stare directly into my own dragon eyes.
This is something you are never supposed to do.
There is a high risk of getting lost forever.

I do it to look into my past.
Into the exact moment I fought that templar in the fires of hell.
I was but a young teenager back then. I can see it clearly now.
I walk towards the templar whilst looking at my memories at the same time.

"Back then, I had only a minute to kill the master swordman."
"And now you have a minute to do the same with me."
"I will show you exactly how I defeated him."

I begin to mimic the movements of the templar I fought against years ago.
Our swords spray sparks every time they touch. At this point it looks more like a dance than a sword fight.
He quickly realizes that he no longer has the upper hand. We are on equal terms now, and I have nothing to loose.
He changes to a more defensive style, attempting to simply outlast the minute that was given to me.
Fortunately, I require so much focus that I am completely incapable to think about what is going to happen next.
Sure enough, just before the minute runs out, I perform a combination of moves that creates an opening.
I take it without hesitation and lodge my katana firmly into his chest.

The burning sensation and the pressure emitted by the templar stops immediately.
He is visibly confused. He does not understand the mistake he made, and neither do I.
This style of combat is way too advanced for me. I merely copied what I saw.
But still, even with my sword lodged in his chest he smiles.

"It doesn't matter. I still won."

I have nothing witty to reply. He is right. His goal was that I die, and he achieved that, after all death has come for me.
I have lost. I release the energy stored within the katana and the templar bursts up in purple flames, leaving nothing behind.
I suppose this should provide some sort of relief. At least the templars are gone.
But I feel no such thing. All I feel is failure.



Death approaches me, carrying his scythe on his shoulder.
This is the end.

What the fuck am I doing?
I'm feeling awkward... anxious? eerie. Yes, that's the right word, eerie. I feel overwhelmingly eerie.
I don't feel the way I'm supposed to feel, given that I might loose everything, and that is immensely irritating.
And then I had the glorious idea to take that orb, which I was told would inevitably lead to my death.
I'm confused as to why I have made that choice. It seemed obvious at the time, but I just don't understand.
Perhaps it was because I am desperate. Perhaps it was to put and end to this feeling of eeriness.
Or perhaps, deep down, I know what I'm doing. Maybe. Hopefully?
One thing is for certain. The decision I've made is final. There is no going back. There is only one path left to walk.
From now on there are no more choices to be made, and that is somewhat of a relief.



I arrive on the central platform in Riven on Teraluna, where everyone is waiting for me.
The city feels abandoned. The animals have gone. I don't like it. It doesn't feel like home right now.
It's nice to see the old gang together though, although I wish it was under different circumstances.
Yuya, Shinave, Silver... even Ifrit is here? That is unexpected.
Everyone is eagerly waiting for me to explain what is going to happen next.
What am I going to say?



But then all of a sudden, looking at everyone, I gain an immense burst of confidence.
Everyone has so much confidence in me. They trust me completely. They know that we stand no chance whatsoever to survive the battle that is ahead.
But they are smiling. Well, when I say everyone, I mean everyone besides Ifrit. Clearly he doesn't want to be here.
And saying that he would have any confidence in me whatsoever is ridiculous. He hates me.

I take a deep breath. What's the plan, now that I have the orb?
Yes... that's how we're going to do it...

"Silver... do you still practice sealing techniques."
"Yes. What do you have in mind?"
"How well could you seal off this area?"
"The entire platform?"
"Yes..."
"Hmmm..."

He thinks about it for a bit.

"If focus solely on that and noting else, I can give you an interdimensional seal covering the entire platform for a few minutes..."
"15, maybe 20?"

That is impressive. I never expected him to be able to do that much. Not with such a high level sealing technique.
This might work... sort of. It's all going to depend on me.

"Alright... I have a plan."

The magic words.

"The templars are all united in the same location, scanning for our auras."
"They know the rough location of Teraluna, but even though they are immensely far away, they have not come any closer."
"This leads me to assume that they have access to a gate, and they plan on dialing in once they have our location."

Silver points at the gate on the platform we're on.

"An ancient gate?"
"Yes."
"Indeed... I suppose they are capable of using the old network. And it's not like the cities barrier will provide much protection against them."
"Using the gates they also won't waste any energy to get here... What do you want to do? Block the gate?"

Heh.

"Quite the contrary."
"Oh?"

I see some slightly confused faces.

"We're going to send them an invitation. Show them right where we are, and open the gate ourselves."

Everyones eyes are opening widely.
And then I smile.
And then everyone else smiles.
Except for Ifrit of course.

"ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?"

I ignore him.

"When I give you the sign Silver, seal off the entire platform for as long as possible."
"Yuya, Shinave, protect Silver. The seal must not be broken."

They nod.

"Ifrit... are you in or out?"

Silence.
He draws a fire portal behind himself and turns away.
Shinave is clearly disappointed by these actions.

"You're going to run away?"

Considering that he's one of the ancient gods, that was very offensive.
But clearly he doesn't give a fuck about my opinion. I am no god. I am a lesser being.
He would have killed me long ago would it not be for Shinave to have urged him not to do so.

"Should you survive this day due to some miracle, know that I will end you."
"For what? Trying to save Teraluna while you run away?"
"It's all your fault. EVERYTHING is your fault."

Shinave intervenes. "It isn't."
He hates it. All gods should always side with him. After all he was the leader of the council of gods.
Which interestingly did actually fall apart because of me. That was my fault. In my defense though, it was beyond corrupt.

"At least I'm not hiding in the godly realm while the fate of Teraluna is decided."

His eyebrows twitch in anger and he leaves through his portal. He doesn't want to hear any more of it.

"I'm not sure what I was expecting, bringing him here."
"It was worth a try."

"So, when do we do this?" Yuya asks.
"As soon as everyone is ready. I have taken some actions that have kind of decreased the time we have left to deal with this."
"Good. Let's end this once and for all."

She smiles.
Yes. The time is now. I can feel it.
I nod at silver and he begins to prepare the seal.
He cuts into his left hand with a dagger, and draws some sort of incantation on the floor using his blood.
He then puts a bandage on it and sits down in a meditative pose.
Finally, he gives me a nod. He's ready.
Seven spheres of water appear around Yuya, who gives me the same nod.
And so does Shinave.
I summon my katana and wear it on my back, since I will no longer be able to summon it once the seal is up.
Show time.

After many weeks of having to hide my aura, I can finally power it up again.
I let the energy flow through my body freely. It feels so good. So refreshing.
I immediately sense the auras of all 12 Templars locking onto us.
Teraluna is found.

Crow and I find ourselves in some sort of temple.
It seems like the room we're in was entirely carved out of some kind of bright stone.
Even though everything looks very clean, it has a neglected feel to it.
Nobody has stepped foot here for a very long time.
Some plants appear to have made the rather futile attempt of growing on the walls.
They were doomed from the beginning though. There is no soil here, no himidity...
Makes you wonder how they got here in the first place.

"Nobody home."



I walk around a little to get a better feel for the place we've found ourselves in.
It seems like this is a single room without any doors or windows.
It is huge though. The ceiling must be at least 20 meters high.
The walls and the floor are engraved with all sorts of things, reaching from long forgotten animals to oddly shaped symbols that I don't recognize.
Even though everything is made from the same material, there's a lot of variation to the place.
It's kind of beautiful in it's own way.

"No way in, no way out, what is this place? Who would build something like this, this place makes no sense."
"What's the purpose of a room without an entrance?"

I think I get it. Sort of. A little bit.

"I don't think this is a room Crow."
"A truly fantastic obvservation Hyu. Your sense of deduction never fails to amaze me."
"So tell me friend. This... ROOM here, you know... if it is not a room, than what is it?"
"... It's... like a doorway."
"A doorway... Listen Hyu, you're not making any sense."
"You said it yourself, there is no purpose to a room without an entrance."
"So naturally, if the room has no entrance it must be a doorway? Whaaaat?"

"Well, there's a little more to it than that."
"Look, we're pretty much at the exact location that you found, right? But it still feels like we're off somehow."
"Yet there is no way to get any closer..."
"Not because there is something preventing us from physically getting closer, but because there is no point in space closer to the location than where we stand."
"But clearly, we're still at some distance."

"Whaaaaaat? That is a clear contradiction."
"It's... shifted."
"Shifted?"
"I don't know what to call it. We're in the correct location, but not quite in the right... dimension?"
"Right... what?"
"There's more to this realm than what is physical. Your spirit for example, it interacts with the physical world, but it is not located in it."
"Oh. Yeah. That kind of makes sense actually."
"How do you go to another dimension?"

Yeah... about that...
Oh hold on a second. I have done this before haven't I?
To go to a non-physical place you have to leave behind the physical.

"Crow, can you mind my body?"
"Mind the... Hyu what the fuck?"
"What? Phoenix abilities and stuff."
"But why would you voluntarily leave your own body? Isn't that dangerous???"
"Hmm..."
"HMM??? YOU DON'T KNOW???"
"Oh calm down, It probably isn't. I've done it before."
"Probably he says..."

I sit down in the middle of the room and concentrate on my own aura.
I then begin to gently separate it from my body and let it drift towards the location Crow found.
And just like that, I find myself in the same room, except... well... it's kind of different.
Everything is much brighter and desaturated. I also feel an odd out of place sensation.
I also have no body, and more importantly, I'm not alone.



There's another person sitting right in front of me.
I say person, but it's kind of difficult to tell.
It's more like a body of light in the shape of a human but genderless being.
Whoever he or she (I'll go with she because of the feminine hair) is, she has her eyes closed, like she's meditating.
I feel like I'm intruding. It seems kind of rude just to enter this place without asking for permission first.
Then again, I wouldn't have known how to do that. I should at least say something though.
But what do I say? I'm not even sure what I'm here for exactly...

"Hi!"

Smooth Hyu. Very smooth.
She looks at me, revealing eyes of pure light.
She answers with a soothing yet assertive voice.

"Here you are."
"Erm... yes?"

Awkward... now what? Oh well, might as well just say it.

"I... I'm not entire sure why I came here."
"You are here because twelve men are after your life, and you are uncertain as to how to deal with that situation."

12 men. The templars. She knows.
I get the feeling that I am yet again dealing with someone who knows more about my life than I do.
But I suppose this is a good thing. If she knows about my situation she might be able to help me.
Suddenly there is hope again...
but... I don't feel it?
Shouldn't I be excited? Shouldn't I feel hopeful right now?
All I feel is eerieness. Everything feels off.
I have no time to deal with those feelings though.
There are more important things at hand.

"I need help."

She takes some time to reply. I can see that she has a difficult time processing the things I say and formulating her thoughts into words.

"Yes. You have come here for help. Your path has stopped in this very location..."
"... There is a decision you have to make."

Usually I'd ask a thousand questions right now. But today is different.
I just go with the flow, not minding that I do not understand.

"I will offer you an item. An item of great importance..."
"You will take it. And then your path will inevitably lead to death."
"Death?"
"Yes."

She doesn't seem concerned about this at all.

"But... you said I had to make a decision."
"Yes. You will take the item."

For some reason I jump to a conclusion expaining why she expresses herself the way she does.
It seems perfectly obvious to me.

"You... you aren't experiencing time the way I do."
"Yes, I see what can be. I see the paths connecting the present to the future."
"But time is always in motion. There are so many possibilities. And every action taken, every decision made has the capability to reorganize the web that is time."
"Yet you already know which decision I will make. You already know that I will take an item from you."
"Yes. Some paths are more likely than others."
"The men that are after you. That is why they hunt you..."

I had a feeling the templars weren't after me purely because I was a dragon. What does that even mean? Being a dragon.

"There are special points in time. Fixed points in time. Points that will always occur."
"So many paths lead to them that some of them will inevitably cross at this very point."
"The men after you must have seen that your path intersects a point that is of great importance to them."
"While it is impossible to foresee the future, one can remove all paths that are not beneficial to oneself, thus increasing the chance of a favorable outcome."

So that is why they are after me. It makes sense. They are going to do something of great importance.
And they have seen that my timeline crosses that event, so they are killing me ahead of time, ensuring that I cannot influence the event.
You cannot forsee the future. But you can influence it in your favor.
But this doesn't matter right now. Nothing matters besides them. I have to deal with them as soon as possible.
I have a few days at most. Maybe only a few hours.

The being summons a small orb of light in her hand and makes a gesture suggesting that I should take it.

"So this is the item that I will take. A decision that will lead me to death."
"Yes. As promised."
"But... will I win?"
"All I can tell you is that it will influence your path greatly."
"And... as promised?"
"You do not remember."

I've heard that a few times too often. "You do not remember". But this time it doesn't matter.
This time I don't care about all the unanswered questions.
She is right. My decision is already made, even if I do not know why.
My right hand is already grabbing towards the orb.
I only hold onto it for a brief moment before it is absorbed by myself.

"Thank you."

I say... in a rather faint voice.
Everything is clear now. At least everything of importance. There is no need for further questions.

I know what this orb is... and I know why I am going to die...

Trying to post stuff again.
I think I'll write down dreams related to the templar story first, because I really want to have that stuff written down properly, so I figure I might as well start there.
I'll get to more current dreams after that.

My vision normalizes as my naked feet gently touch down in the sand. I'm on a beach.
I am somewhat blinded by the reflection of the sun on the near white ground.
It is very hot; I can clearly feel the pressure of the heat on my skin.
There's a lot of noise. People running into the ocean. Kids playing ball.
Music coming from god knows where. People seem to be partying.

All in all it feels rather uncomfortable. It isn't the heat or the noise though.
I'm not in a good mood. I don't feel like being surrounded with joy right now. It just doesn't feel right.
Now where's that fucking bird... yes... of course. At a bar talking to some girls.
Where else would he be?


He's a rather interesting creature. You don't meet many talking birds, and this one definitely has an attitude.
This one is pitch black with a single red feather in his tail, which I think he dyed that color.
It looks kinda cool actually, but he is a little full of himself. He also talks a lot.

As I approach the bar the girls leave giggling. He probably told them one of his famous stories.
I sit on the bar stool closest to him.

"Crow!"
"What the- Hyu!"
"Indeed"
"The fuck are you doing here mate? Did you bring Yuya? Where is Yuya?"
"What is it with you? Always only interested in the girls."
"What is it with you always calling me Crow?"

"You remind me of a talking bird going by that name."
"Uhuh? And who would that be? Are you making fun of me?"
"Crow helped save the worlds of Stark and Arcadia dear friend. He's a hero."

But that's not why I'm calling you Crow.

"Stark and Arcadia? I've never heard of such worlds."
"They're- worlds in another realm."

Or rather in a video game, but I feel like leaving out that detail.

"So, what brings you here? I've never seen you around here."

I pick up his drink because it is rather curious looking.
Further inspecion reveals that whatever it is, it has a rather acrid smell to it.
I put it back down.

"I'm looking for you actually."

His eyes widen.

"Who- me?!"
"Yes, you. I'd like to ask you for a favor."

He looks a bit confused... or... at least I think he does. It is rather difficult to read the facial expressions of a bird.

"I need to locate an aura."
"You humble me. I am fairly skilled at tracking auras, but I highly doubt that I could find someone that you cannot."
"You see, the problem is not that I am unable to do the tracking myself. The issue is that I'm quite unfortunately being tracked myself, so I do not wish to reveal myself."
"Hyu- are you in trouble?"
"You have no idea friend."
"Wait. Seriously?"

*Sigh*

"It's pretty bad, can you help me out?"
"Yes! Of course!"
"There's a catch."
"Naturally..."
"I- I'm not entire sure what it is I'm looking for. I'll have to see what you see."
"You want to use the dragon eyes on me..."
"Indeed."
"Shit- bugger- fuck-"
"You okay?"
"Yes, yes. Follow me. I know a quiet spot."

He knows what's coming for him. I must have used the eyes on him in the past... I think?
I follow Crow into some sort of small tent.
He lands on a pedestral and I kneel down in front of im to get our eyes leveled.

"Are you ready?"
"No! Of course I'm not ready you moron."
"Moron?"
"Go ahead. Just please- try not to kill me."
"Any danger is entirely up to you."
"Yes yes. Don't resist. I know, I know. Let's just get this over with."

It is fairly safe to use the dragon eyes on someone as long as they do not resist.
Clearly the sharing of minds is not what the ability is intended for though.
It is a rather intrusive ability, and it goes against your basic instincts not to resist against it.
I stare into his pitch black eyes. He seems fairly relaxed which is good. This shouldn't hurt him.
I force myself into his mind using the dragon eyes. My vision fades.
The first thing I feel is fear and discomfort.
I can't blame him for that. It must be immensely uncomfortable to have someone intrude your mind like this.
Fortunately I feel no resistance from him at all. His self-control is rather commendable.

"You're doing well crow."
"Obviously."
"Yes..."

A new scene appears.


A shared hallucination caused by the usage of the dragon eyes.

"This place gives me the creeps."
"Well. There ain't no girls in bikinis dancing about."
"No shit."

Well then. Time to see if that feeling is merely a delusion or if there is actually something behind it.

"Alright. Reach out as far as you're comfortable with. I'll try to guide your search."
"Mmmmmmhm"

I attempt to visualize whatever presence Crow feels as points of lights in front of me.
To my surprise, the only image that pops up is that of two rather largely breasted girls wearing bikinis.
The girls he was talking to at the bar earlier...

"Crow... focus!"
"But dear friend. I'd say that I am rather focused. Are you not impressed by how clear this memory is?"
"Dude... seriously?"
"The image... so clear and crisp... mmmmh."
"... This is really not the time for-"
"Boobs? There's always time for boobies!"
"Pervert..."
"Pervert? You morbid cunt!"
"A morbid what now?"
"You heard me. Lousy, moronic fuckwit."

*Sigh* That bird likes to curse.

"I'm waiting for an apology!"

This is the point where I'm supposed to call him an incompetent and imbecilic waste of natural selection.

"Sorry... I'm really not in the mood for this."
"You... I..."
"Are you done? I really need to figure this out."
"Well... yes... sorry..."

I think he finally understands that this is serious.
I'm not blaming him for not taking me serious immediately though.
It's not like I'm known as a serious person. I like messing about. But today is different.

After a surprisingly short amount of time, Crow manages to focus on something that matches what I'm looking for.
I underestimated him. This was quite fast, especially considering the nature of what I'm searching for.

"Eeehm. The fuck is this? This is not a person?"
"Also where is this? This doesn't feel like a proper location. Something's off. Did I do it wrong?"
"Hmm... I'm not entirely sure where this is, or what it is that you have found. But I'm fairly certain that you have found exactly what I'm looking for."

This is very odd indeed. I know exactly what he means when he says that something's off. Something doesn't feel quite right, but I am uncertain as to why.
I can focus on any point close to the location, but not the very location itself.
It should also not have been possible to find anything using merely a vague feeling as a guide.

"Crow. I'm going there right now."
"That doesn't seem safe. Do you have any idea what to expect? I mean, you're not even sure what you're looking for."
"Nope."
"I'm tagging along."
"Huh? Why is that?"
"Curiosity."

After releasing Crow from my eyes, I have him sit on my shoulder and teleport the both of us to some point in close proximity to the location we've found...

I arrive in Haven with the hopes of plotting against the Templars.
Although I have no new ideas on how to approach the situation, Silver might.

He joined us just a few days ago, because I put off asking him until then.
After attempting to make Ifrit join our cause, which failed quite dramatically,
I did not have the confidence to ask Silver.

Silver had done so much already, not to mention his horrible childhood.
He deserves to rest... to enjoy life a little. I shouldn't burden him with my issues.
But I ended up visiting him anyways, because I felt lost completely.
I'm not sure what I was expecting when Yuya and I got to the place he lives at now.
Talking to him again ended up being a little awkward. I wasn't really sure what to talk about.
Right as I managed to muster enough courage to address the topic of the Templars
I saw something that completely threw me off.
A woman entered the house holding a baby. She nodded at us and continued upstairs.
I realized Silver had a family now.
I made up an excuse to leave. I could never ask him to join us,
not after knowing Silver was finally at peace with himself.
But as we left he told us to hold on.
He ran upstairs and shortly after returned with his katana strapped to his back...
It turned out that he had read in my eyes that I needed his help.
I tried to talk him out of it but I failed.

So here he is now, standing in Yuya's garden next to a table, a place where we like to sit down
and discuss tactics. He is talking to Yuya and another person I don't think I have met.
Yuya's expression worries me quite a bit.

"What's wrong?"
"... It's about Vega."

Given the way she said it, something terrible must have happened there.
Vega is a small village which we often visit to go to a Café called Serenity.

It's situated on top of some sort of structure extending over the village.
An amazing place to stargaze whilst under the influence of some kind of psychedelic drug Vega is known for.

"What happened?"
"It's gone."

It is clear to me now that the other person with us is a messenger who informed her about the terrible news.
He tells us that I need to go and see. Yuya draws a portal and we enter it together with Silver.

The remains of Vega are in flames. They are small in numbers, they must have been burning for some time.
A man points towards Café Serenity, which still sits on top of the structure which appears to have withstood the fires.
He doesn't say anything though, he just walks away. Did he live in Vega?
We rush towards the Café, finding both of its owners outside.
Although the building still stands, it is heavily damaged and no longer in a usable state.
The owners tell me not to worry. That it is not my fault.
I enter the Café. Across the walls is written in burned wood:

"For as long as the dragon remains hidden, those that help protect him shall share his fate"

Templars... they've done this. Yuya hugs me in an attempt to console me.
They have killed these people because we are hiding from them. To show that if I do not reveal myself they will kill those that I know.

"They are right you know. This is not your fault..."
"Yet I feel guilty"

I know that she's right. I couldn't know that they were going to do this. And even if I did, what was I supposed to do, sacrifice myself?
The owners of this Café were honest when they told me that they do not consider this my fault.
They know who I am and what I have done. But somehow the fact that they do not consider me guilty makes me feel even worse.

One thing is clear to me now though. The goals of the Templars have indeed changed.
Back in the old days they were attacking other worlds in order to steal something I have long forgotten.
They did not know who I was, and it was me that got in their way because I wanted to protect these worlds.
But this time they are not after the belongings of worlds. They are after me specifically.
This is very odd, considering that Templars have no concept of campanionship.
Yes, I have indeed killed one of them a long time ago, but they would not hunt me in an attempt of vengance.
They know no such thing. They see each-other as assets, not as brothers in arms.
Until now I assumed that they are attempting a pre-emptive strike. So that I can not interfere with their goals again.
But in that case I would be a secondary objective, and I am clearly not.

That is exactly what the voices said...
Recently, when I slept in Haven, I would hear voices during my dreams.
They would whisper things suggesting that "they" were after me only. That it was because of time? And that I cannot surrender.
The messages were rather cryptic, and I didn't pay much attention because until now my dreams whilst in this realm have always been
very abstract and not really meaningful. But now that I think about them I get a feeling that they might help me find a way to deal with the Templars.
...
My hopes lie with abstract and cryptic dreams I had within a dream. That is how desperate I am.
No. It's worse actually. If the Templars were here it means they are on the right track.
Surely they were able to force someone into telling them that we are hiding on Teraluna.
It won't take them long to find that place, even though Haven is heavily shielded and we are masking our auras.

"They will find Teraluna..."

Both Yuya and Silver look at me rather depressed. I am the one who always comes up with the plans. They are relying on me for a strategy to save Teraluna... to beat the Templars once and for all.
And I've got nothing.

"Silver, knowing only the name of the moon, how long would it take you to find Teraluna?"

He's unreasonably good at finding things.
He sighs.

"The location of Teraluna is a rather well kept secret. The library is of great importance, protecting it is easier if its location is not known."
"Unfortunately there are many stories about it, some of which hint at its location."
"If I would try hard enough I'd probably find it in less than a week."

Less than a week? How am I supposed to do anything within that time frame?
And it's not like evacuating Haven and going into hiding somewhere else is a solution without removing the Templar thread.
They would manage to hunt some of the inhabitants down somehow.
Not to mention the library. It is of great importance, and they would burn it to the ground.
And then there are other things... even more crucial things.
Teraluna cannot fall.

The three of us combined aren't able to deal with a single Templar, yet there are 12 of them left.
Even if I had my dragon spirit and the phoenix essence back, it would be utterly hopeless.
And besides Ifrit I don't know anyone remotely as strong as us, yet I would need an army.
Perhaps death is catching up with me.

"Don't you dare even thinking about surrender."
"... I won't."

Silver is looking at me, probably expecting me to reveal some kind of backup plan I had all along.
Something insane enough that it might just work. I've got nothing.
In my desperation I recall the voices I heard in those dreams.
For some reason I reach out with my aura, attempting to locate anything that reminds me of these voices.
As I catch myself doing this I ponder about how ridiculous this is.
That's not how scanning for auras works. You need to at least be able to guess how it would feel like to be
in proximity of a person in order to find someone through aura tracking.
But for some reason that is beyound me, at that very moment, I do find something.
It doesn't feel like a person though, and the feeling is very weak.

If I wasn't hiding from the Templars, I could probably pin the location down near instantly.
But that would involve releasing an amount of energy that cannot be hidden.
The Templars who are actively scanning for my aura would find me immediately.
That goes for all of us. The templars know all of our auras.
But there is someone else I know, who is rather talented in aura tracking.
He might be able to help me find... whatever this is.

"Okay..."
"So I might have..."

Silver and Yuya open their eyes wide in hope.
Oh boy...

"Listen. This is a longshot... no, I wouldn't even call it a longshot."
"I have a lead alright. A lead to maybe find some sort of way to..."

They are euphoric. Are they not listening to my words? I don't have shit.

...
Fuck it. This is all I've got. If it turns out to be nothing then that's it.
They are relying on me.

"I need to visit an old friend to help me track someone down."
"Until I do, I won't be sure on how to approach the situation."
"I assume there will be a grand battle though, so prepare yourselves accordingly."

They both nod.

"I'll be back within less than three days."
"In case I should fail..."
"Bullshit! When you come back you'll have a plan."
"You always have a plan."

No pressure...

"We'll evacuate Haven in case we need to make a last stand."
"Yes."
"And I'll have my mother talk to Ifrit..."

Somehow I doubt that'll help.

"Hyu?"
"Yeah?"
"... Don't you die on me, alright?"

I smile.

"Working on it!"

That extinguishes the last worries in her facial expression.
I summon my phoenix wings.
Time to go annoy the hell out of an old friend of mine. Time to meet a talking bird.
I take off into the fabric of space.

I haven't posted in a while.
It's kinda difficult to find the time to do so with my current health issues. (It's nothing too serious I think, but it impedes me from doing activities that require a decent amount of brain power)
The few moments where I feel alright and I'm motivated to write, I spend it trying to somehow finish my masters thesis in time.
It's quite frustrating to know that it is going to take some more time until this will be resolved, because apparently it's perfectly normal to have to wait 10 weeks to get an mri done in this country. :/
Then again, we got fantastic healthcare, so I shouldn't complain.

Anyways, I don't really have the motivation to properly write down things that have happened in relation to the Templar story arc, but I figured I'd at least post something.
Something that is much easier to write.
So here's a random dream from last night which I thought was really cool, though I now realize that I'm going to have a hard time explaining why.
It's weird how that works, sometimes a seemingly normal event can be very emotional in dreams.



I'm in my bed, trying to fall asleep, when I notice that something is off with the lighting.
Normally my room is really dark at night, there's a few very faint green and blue lights from a switch and a file server in the room, but that's about it.
You really have to navigate the room by memories (if you don't turn the lights on), because it is too dark to make out anything.
But for some reason I can distinguish everything clearly, even though it's all pitch black.
What a contrast!

Fortunately I know this look very well.
Dark dreams! In my dreams darkness is usually compensated by a ludicrous amount of contrast, so I can see very clearly, even though it is really dark.
It is rather astonishing how many shades of black there really are, and how easily they can be distinguished if you aren't limited by the human eye.

I get out of bed and start exploring the house.
I don't bother thinking about my current situation or dream stabilization because I'm under the impression that I'm fully lucid.
This is however not the case.
I'm not thinking clearly, as I would in a "fully" lucid dream.
Yes, I'm aware that this is a dream, but I'm not thinking about doing cool stuff. No epiphanies or anything.
Just a mindless zombie strolling through the house, hoping to catch a glimpse of something extraordinary.

Once I am downstairs I notice that the scenery outside has changed rather dramatically.
This is not where my house is in waking life at all!
I go outside to explore more, and find that my house is now placed right next to a rather large lake.
It is perfectly still and reflects the sky like a flawless mirror.


Cool!
I start walking over it, something I often do in dreams.
Walking on water is really pleasant, if you do it barefoot that is.
The water is really cold and I get chills up my spine during my first few steps.

The sky is cloudless. It is perfect! There is no light pollution whatsoever. What a sight!
But then I realize that I'm not really lucid.
Or rather, I realize that I'm not thinking.
Exploring your own thoughts is an amazing thing to do in dreams, and has become my favorite way of stabilization.
If you're thinking clearly, dreams receive a huge boost in stability.
It's also a good way to calm down if you are easily excited.

Anyways, after some thinking I feel like I've gotten my brain to work adequately.
But oddly enough I'm not in the mood to leave this place, even though I am now fully aware that I can.
There is something very special about this scenery, and I'd like to stay for a bit longer.

I take off my t-shirt, noticing that it's a bit odd that I'm wearing one.
I never wear shirts to bed, especially not in the summer.
I lie down on my back.

It feels sooo good. My back touches the extremely cold water surface, which carries me easily.
I feel very floaty and stretch out my arms.

But even though this sensation is very enjoyable, blissful even, I cannot help but feel sad.
Because in this sky I can see so many stars.
Billions of them. And beyond them are billions of galaxies, containing billions of stars each.
And I'm here, on this rather insignificant piece of rock: planet earth.
Insignificant. That's really all I can think off.
In comparison to the size of planet earth we have explored less than a single grain of sand.
I feel alone. I feel stuck. I want to leave this planet.

I stretch my right arm out and grab onto the stars in my field of vision with my hand.
It's odd how I feel compelled to make this gesture even though nobody can see it but myself.
I want to go there one day. I want to go within my lifetime.
I want to explore this seemingly endless space.
But I realize that I have most likely been born too soon.
Why could I not have been born later, in an age where we are space explorers?

...

Well, that is just fucking depressing.
What is wrong with me?
I'm dreaming. It's all about experiencing the unimaginable. It's about having fun.
Yet here I lie, acting all melancholic.


But then one of the stars becomes slightly brighter.
For some reason I know that this is a super massive star that has just reached the end of its lifetime.
Its core has collapsed, releasing a massive shock-wave. A supernova!
During its lifetime it has fused hydrogen into heavier elements.
Helium, Lithium, Carbon, Nitrogen, Oxygen and many more.
And now, as its final act it is launching all of it into the vastness of space.

But these elements will inevitably find others. They will attract each other and slowly but surely clump together.
Some of them will turn into planets over the course of millions of years.
And with a lot of chance, one of these planets will be at a certain distance from a sun.
Maybe another smaller body will orbit it. A moon.
And maybe, if everything goes right, some of the elements this planet consists of will combine in a certain way.
And then there will be life... there will be another earth.
Because that's what life is.
That is what we are.
We are all made from stardust, forged within the cores of super massive stars.

And that is a really beautiful thought.
Because even though we might appear insignificant compared to the vast size of the universe...
we are special!
I mean seriously. What are the fucking odds?

And that makes me feel really great and I cannot help but smile.

Too much conversation.
Some things are going to be phrased incorrectly etc, I tried to patch it up as well as I could.
Usually I use pink and brown to color code female and male DC voices, but there's 2 women this time,
so I'll use pink and green, pink being Yuya.


There's no more messing around.
Going anywhere but Haven feels dangerous.
Whenever I'm on the plane I can feel the Templars scanning for my aura.
It is inevitable that they will find me if I linger for too long.
Haven is one of the only places I feel safe. The barrier prevents them from locating my aura when I'm here.

But I cannot remain here forever.
Not only am I imprisoning myself here until I tackle the Templar issue, I'm doing the same to Yuya.
The Templars are after her as well.
In fact they're probably after everyone, the whole team from back then... back when lucids still came naturally to me.

There is only one solution.
I will fight them.
But not alone; that would be utter suicide.
I will gather the old team, the team with whom I fought the evils of this world back in the days.

I feel like a hero, about to embark on a long and difficult journey.
First I will gather a team capable of surpassing the strength of the Templars.
And then I will have to come up with a plan to beat them.
Because this is what I do. This is what I have always done.
Regardless of how much more powerful my enemy is, regardless of what it takes, I will beat them.
Because I am dragon.

"So... who will we find first?"

It is scary being in company of a serious Yuya.
I'm used to her playful and innocent self.
Not the one capable of carrying the weight of a world.
The whole atmosphere has changed.

"Silver?"
"... No. We will find Silver last. I'm not sure how to convince him to join us yet."
"Will he not want to join us?"
"I'm not sure. Back then he fought with us to pay for his sins. But he has already given back so much to this world."
"True..."
"I will convince him. You know I have my ways with words."
"Yes. If there's anyone who can motivate him it is you. You're the only one he listens to."
"So, if not Silver..."
"Shinave"
"..."
*sigh*
"You're making me meet her again huh?"
"Yes. We will meet with the goddess of ice."
"Alright then... I know where she is. I sure hope you know what you're doing."
"Probably."

I most certainly do not. Why is Yuya somewhat reluctant to meet with her again?
Did we part on bad terms?
Meh, it will come to me eventually.
These memories have a habit of popping up whenever I need them lately.

Yuya opens a rather odd looking portal and it seems to take her quite a considerable amount of energy to do so.
Right... we'll mask our auras. It should buy us enough time for a meeting and to get back before the Templars find us.
We hop through the portal and end in a rather odd looking place.


It's an old temple of sorts. Parts of it are covered with rather beautiful ice crystals, but most of them are broken.
Right. The goddess of ice. Or rather the person who used to be the goddess of ice.
Back then two gods fought together with us.
The goddess of ice: Shinave; and the god of fire: Ifrit
Yeah... there was 6 of us I think.
The 3 gods Shinave, Ifrit, Yuya, and Silver, Selene and myself.
I will reunite all of us... somehow...

We walk through the old temple, searching for Shinave.
I have a feeling that she's here somewhere, even though I cannot sense any aura besides Yuyas and my own at all.
I can feel the Templars scanning the entire plane though.
Their searching pattern reminds me of that of a computer rather than that of a sentient being.
They are perfectly coordinated.
But it will take them hours to track me down with my aura masked.

"You have some guts to show up here after what you've done."
"Indeed..."

The voice coming from behind caught me by surprise, but I'm not showing that I was off guard.
I turn around slowly and full of confidence.
Shinave.


Her eyes look young, but she's clearly older than Yuya or myself.
She has long white hair, deep blue eyes, very similar to Yuya's, and a rather pale skin.
A wise woman, once one of the most well known gods.
But now she lives in a seemingly abandoned temple.
And somehow I get the feeling that it is my fault.

"How are you?"

She answers me with a small hand gesture that's not really saying much.
Is she mad at me? Is she mad at us?
I feel that she is in some way, yet it also feels like the complete opposite.

"And how are you... Yuya?"
"I'm alright... mother."

mo... Mo... I... wait what?
Nonono.
Oh shit.
Fuck my life.
Goddess of ice, goddess of water... yeah. Am I fucking retarded? How did I not remember that.
And I have... with Yuya... oh my god...
Yeah, I might be screwed.

"You haven't talked to me in a long time."
"I have not. Not after you suggested that I shouldn't try to bring Hyu back."
"It was a bad idea."
"Yet here I am."
"Yet here you are."
"I guess I should be impressed that you managed to find your way back after what happened."
"I should also kill you for what you have done."

She approaches me without changing her facial expression.
I'm at a complete loss. I can't tell if she's serious.
Well. She is. But there's something more. Something she isn't telling.
She stands right in front of me and stares into my eyes.
I don't blink.

She hugs me tightly.
What?

"I hate you Hyu. I hate you so much."

She starts crying and grabs more tightly onto me.
I'm getting mixed signals here.
But somehow I understand. She wants to hate me, but she can't. She cannot help but love me for whom I am.
She looks deeply into my eyes again.

"You've sent my daughter towards certain death you know."
"Stop! It's too early."
"No."
"Yes it is! It is too early for him to remember!"
"Maybe. But there's no choice. He must remember."
"And then what? What if he does remember?"
"What if he realizes that he has cheated? Then what? What if he dies if he remembers that?"
"If he abides by the rules then yes, he will die."

... yeah.
I don't like everything I'm hearing, but I do want to know.
And I am so close. I can remember parts on my own. The puzzle is fitting itself together as we speak.
A tiny nudge in the right direction and I'll remember everything.
I look at Yuya and say reassuringly:

"Am I the type who abides by the rules?"

She can't help but smile for an instant, but then quickly puts on a serious face again.

"It's too soon."
"Yes. And bringing him back is impossible, yet here he stands. And yet here you stand."
"..."

I'm beginning to remember on my own.
Because I need to remember.
Because now is the time to remember, even though Yuya suggests otherwise.

"We all fought together. We fought many evils. But there was one we simply could not beat."
"... the Templars."
"13 of them there were, and only 6 of us, but that was not the issue."
"The issue was that one of them was a true immortal, and the 12 others had their lives linked to him."
"All 12 of them were unkillable as long as the 13th was alive. And he had perfected the art of combat."
"He was supposedly unbeatable. And even if he would be killed, due to his immortality he would just resurrect."
"Yes..."
"So I came up with a plan."

"You did come up with a plan."
"You always did, regardless of how hopeless the situation was."
"But this plan I did not like."
"This plan I did not like."
"But it was yours."
"It was mine."
"I didn't choose it because it was a good plan, I chose it because it was the only plan."
"Indeed..."

... what a horrible plan it was.
I have trouble saying the words, but they must be said.

"... Yuya would give her life to allow Silver to cast the ultimate spell."
"I would hold the Templar in place."
"And Silver would kill him with this spell, and the both of us in the process."

...

"This would send the Templars soul to hell. Because that's where immortals go."
"But immortality means you only have to spend a single minute, and then you are reborn."
"And I have the phoenix wings. I can move through the realms. I can go to hell once I am dead."
"Even after dying, my soul should have an afterglow of energy, enough to go there and challenge him."
"One minute to do the impossible. One minute to kill the soul of the only one who ever perfected the art of combat."
"And all of that without any energy left."
"But if I would kill his soul, he would truly die. You cannot be reborn without a soul."

"The plan was ludicrous. All of you would die for certain, for a glimpse of a chance to do the impossible."
"But it would cripple the Templars for years."
"It would... And it has."
"But things did not turn out according to your plan."

"Fortunately they did not. If they did we would be dead."
"So how did you kill him? And how is my daughter still alive. And how are you?"

...

"How I won the fight in hell... I truly do not know."
"I do not believe in miracles. But if they do exist, then this was one."
"We were joined in hell by our swords, and fought for a full minute without any energy."
"A true old-fashioned sword fight."
"I didn't stand a chance of course. He had figured out the perfect technique."
"But for some reason beyond me, as we danced in the fires of hell with our swords clashing..."
"..."
"I stabbed him in his chest."
"He never made a mistake, there was never any opening. I never figured out the perfect technique."
"Yet it happened. Neither one of us did understand. And I released the last bit of energy I had left in me into my blade..."
"And his soul evaporated. He died the true death."

"And then...?"
"And then I died."

...

"But how?"
"If you die you have to pay the price. Unless you are immortal you have to pay your soul."
"That is what dying is."
"But I never had a chance to give my soul."

Shinave's expression changes. She understands.

"The dragon within me. The dragon soul I shared my body with."
"He gave his soul before I had a chance to give mine."
"And with the price paid, I was no longer bound to the world of the dead... so I left... so I came back."
"And then I approached Yuya's lifeless body. And I summoned the true phoenix wings, and I brought back her soul from the dead and resurrected her."

"So you did use your one resurrection."

She sighs.

"So not only is the dragon soul, the one who taught you the ways of the dragon, no longer with you; but you also sacrificed your near infinite source of energy. The phoenix catalyst."
"That is the price the phoenix must pay to perform a resurrection, and the reason why he can perform only one."
"But these were the reasons why you were so strong. The dragon soul and the phoenix catalyst. And now you have none of them."
"A small price to pay."
"A truly huge price to pay."
"Perhaps, but the choice was an obvious one."
"It was not. You could have used the catalyst to destroy the remaining templars."
"And let Yuya be dead?"
"..."
"It would have been the logical choice."

"Pff... logic. Yes, I might have noble goals, some people may even have called me a hero."
"But I truly am a fool and you know it. I do not regret having made that choice."
"And I love you for having made that choice. You saved my daughter."

"We all paid a huge price back then. Selene died. Silver managed to get back for some reason which is beyond me."
"The council of gods was destroyed."
"But the Templar died. And now they are mortal."
"And they are after you."

I shrug.

"And I am after them."
"You're mad."
"I am Hyu."

Yuya has been awfully silent.

"I understand how you were able to come back and revive me."
"Your soul is taken when you die. But for you, 'a' soul was taken, but not yours."
"But still. After that you should never have been able to come back to this world."
"You are supposed to be dead."
"You have tried quite intensely to bring me back though. Surely you must have believed that it would work."
"Maybe... but what now that you know that you are supposed to be dead?"
"Nothing."

"But... what if death comes for you."
"There is only one thing you do if death comes for you."
"... give up... ?"

I give her a disapproving stare and raise my voice.

"You look death straight into its eyes and you say: 'not today'"

Shinave smiles for the first time.

"It is good to know that you are still Hyu. It is good to know that you are still the fool I remember."
"Can he do that... just like that?"
"How would I know? Do I know anyone who has tricked death itself?"
"What I do know is that he is Hyu."
"He is..."

Shinave inspects me from top to bottom.

"You have aged."
"You are weak."
"And you come to me now, which means..."
"I will ask you the impossible."
"After all that has happened, you really dare ask me?"
"Yes."
"And what do you suggest we do if I agree?"
"We will be a dead man walking and 2 gods that are no longer gods up against the Templars."
"How is that going to work?"
"You're forgetting about Silver and Ifrit."
"Ifrit? You are more insane than I thought."
"But even then. That's 2 dead men walking and 3 gods that are no longer gods. My question remains."
"I will come up with a plan of course."
"Because you are Hyu."
"Because I am Hyu."

For the first time in what feels like an eternity I put on a certain smile.
It is a somewhat dark smile. A smile looking forward to a battle that seemingly cannot be won.
A smile that challenges all beliefs. A smile that says that we can do the impossible.

"Will you come with me, oh goddess, and fight with me again?"
"..."
"Of course I will."

She looks at Yuya, then at me, back at Yuya, and back at me, clearly understanding what is going on.
Then she faces me and says:

"Back in the days the gods would have killed your for this."

But she doesn't say it in a serious way. I'm not sure if she approves, but I do know that she does not mind.

"I wonder what Ifrit is going to think about this."

I turn around and start walking towards the portal and shrug.

"I'd rather not."

We laugh, even though it isn't really that funny. He's one of the very old gods. He can never know. He would indeed kill me.
I stop.

"As long as we can still laugh like this, the world isn't lost."

That puts a reassuring smile on Shinave and Yuya's face.
Ha. I still have it in me.
I am still a leader.
And I will do this.
I will end what I have started 15 years ago. I will end the tyranny that is the existence of the Templars.
I just have to figure out how.
Preferably without killing half of us in the process this time.

I was visiting weird planets with Yuya as I often do in a rather deep dream that had been going on for multiple hours.
Then this happened:

There it is, a feeling all too familiar that I have not experienced in a long time.
I am scared... so fucking scared.
Fortunately my body reacts on its own, powering up and thus protecting me from the overwhelming pressure off the aura that has just appeared.
I know this feeling all too well, even though it has been such a long time since I've last experienced it.

This is very unexpected.
I have lately gone out of my way to get into trouble, because there is nothing like the fear you experience during a fight where your opponent is actually strong enough to kill you.
But in such fights, it is more of a mixture of fear and excitement you are experiencing.
The feelings of a true fights are difficult to explain, but there's a very special vibe to them that is oddly fascinating.

But this... this isn't.
There is no excitement, there are no feelings associated to those of a good fight.
This is pure fear.

Usually I gradually power up during fights, trying to find a good balance so that I am on a similar level to my opponent, because that makes things most interesting.
But this time I'm not. My body instinctively powered up all the way.
And I will need every single bit of strength if I want to survive this.

Fucking Templars who hunt me down because the god from their delusions told them so.
If only they weren't so ludicrously strong.
I can't afford anything less than a perfect level of concentration.
The first time I encountered one of them, I had both Yuya and Silver with me and I still came close to dying on multiple occasions.
To top it off I only managed to win the fight by using an ability that I can only use once every few years.
And that was a stray Templar, possibly weaker than the one I'm facing right now.
http://www.dreamviews.com/blogs/hyu/...dragons-18805/

The second time I was in a room full of portals, and managed to make a run for it.
This time I won't have a choice. We'll have to fight.
They are so fast that I won't be able to draw my phoenix wings without creating a very short opening, inevitably resulting in my death.
Yes. They are that fast. There is zero room for errors.

"The true lord demands your death Anassasi."
"I couldn't care less about your delusions."
"Oh but you should. Your death is inevitable, regardless of how much you try to resist us."
"The Templars will hunt you for all eternity."

He plays with his staff in a taunting manner.
It's odd. Regardless of how much hate there is during a fight, if both parties have considerable strength, there is always a certain degree of respect. Even if it is only the respect in your opponents strength.
And an element of excitement, because only rarely do you have the opportunity to go all out if you are this strong.
But with Templars there is none of that.
There is only the urge to survive.
And them? I'm not even sure if they have feelings at all besides hatred for certain dreamers.

I know that WakingNomad has encountered them as well. I used to call them Paladins, but after reading that he calls them Templars, the term has somehow emerged into my dreams.

Yuya has casted her water spheres and her aura is clearly on edge. But even like this there is an inexplicable beauty to her aura, even if she is ready to kill.
If only our truly overpowered abilities would work against them.
They are immune to both my dragon eyes and Yuya's water extraction technique.
I'm not sure if they have any water in their bodies.
They have a certain artificial look to them. Maybe it is because they never show any emotions besides hate.

"Today the dragon will die."

I grip my katana tightly. It is fully of energy and vibrates strongly in my hand.
I am perfectly focused on him. I am waiting for the slightest of changes within his aura.
There is is! A small twitch... and he is gone.

He appears right in front of me, but I was perfectly prepared for his blink and am already midway in my own blink, bringing me only slightly out of reach of his staff.
It hurts!
I had forgotten that any proximity to their aura causes a feeling of pressure so strong that you think it could burn off your skin.
But it doesn't feel like the heat of fire, it is what I assume it would feel like if you got an acid burn.

It's go time.
I charge towards the Templar and clash my sword into his staff.
I cannot comprehend how their staffs can deflect such power. It doesn't feel like they charge any energy onto them.
Any material should easily break in such a situation if you don't.
Yuya is throwing her spheres against him, and occasionally casting high pressure water beams into his direction.
But they are simply deflected by his armor in the same manner his staff is deflecting my sword.
It is so frustrating.

My aura is right at the edge of hurting my own body. The vibrations are only barely bearable.
I see the sky red and the clouds burning. My blood is boiling.
In such a state I need to be careful not to accidentally damage my own body.
Yuya is pushed slightly outside of the battle my various pressure attacks.

"Do you know how we kill a dragon?"

A device on his staff activates and my katana is teleported and trapped against it.
He smiles and charges at me with his staff.

"The last Templar who thought so is long dead you fool."

This trick may have worked once, but I'm not falling for it again.
I cast my katana away and re-materialize it in my hand.
He didn't expect this. Maybe I can force a small opening.
I skillfully bring myself into a better position.
Yes! This is perfect, I got him at a dead angle.
I charge all the energy into my sword that I can manage and swing it against the right side of his abdomen as he passes me.
I can feel it clashing against his armor and releasing all of its energy. A perfect hit!

Coldness. Shudder.
I blink instinctively, but slightly too late.
A sharp pain emerges from my left shoulder.
How did he manage to reposition himself like that?
He was to my right and I clearly hit him hard.
How did he manage to cut into my left shoulder?
And why the fuck does his staff have retractable blades?

The situation calms down as we all got some space between us.
Fuck, I have to fight on my own for a split second and I'm already wounded.
I feel blood slowly streaming down my arm.
Usually the dragon aura would naturally take care of it and close the wound, but there's something about a Templars aura that prevents such in-combat healing techniques.
I cast fire onto the skin surrounding the wound and burn it shut.
It hurts, but I have so much adrenaline in my body that it isn't as bad as it sounds.

Then I notice that Yuya is wounded as well, though only superficial.
She has a small cut on her left arm, and she appears to have frozen the wound shut.
This is not going well.

I inspect the Templar in the hopes of spotting some serious damage dealt by my last attack.
There is a dent in his armor.
Are you fucking kidding me? I landed a perfect hit!
I hit him so hard that the changes of air pressure around him caused extensive damage to the ground surrounding us.
But his armor? A fucking dent?
How are we supposed to beat him?

The fight continues, but it quite frankly isn't looking good for us.
He manages to land near-hits on us with nearly every try, whereas all of our attacks bounce off his stupid armor.
If only Silver was here. But he isn't, and he won't come.

I'm starting to become exhausted.
Templars don't seem to suffer from this issue. The longer this fight will drag on the worse our situation will become.

Alright. Time for more risky tactics.
I lower my katana slightly, giving the Templar an opening if he charges me head on.
And sure enough he comes right at me.
Time nearly stops. I see him slowly approaching me during one fast leap.
He's moving so fast that pressure waves are building around his body.

Yuya's aura is clearly alarmed. She is very worried about me... and... so am I.
Was this really a good idea? What was I thinking?
I haven't used this ability in years, I can't even remember it properly.
It's to late to question it now... just go with it.

I slightly lower the dragonic energy in my body. Any hit now and I am most certainly dead.
I shift all the energy into the right side of the blade of my katana.
Then I rapidly focus phoenix energy within my body.

This is a horrible idea. It is so dangerous to do this.
Dragonic energy is demonic in nature, whereas phoenix energy is divine.
Like fire and ice. Matter and Antimatter.
Any mistake will rip my body apart.
I do not have the experience I had a few years ago, and even then, as mad as I was, I respected and feared using both energies at the same time greatly.

My eyes and my dragon tattoo begin to hurt intensely.
They are being attacked my the divine energy.

I increase the phoenix energy until it reaches the same level as the dragon energy.
Then I funnel it into my blade as well, but on the other side.
I now have two independent energy circuits running through my blade and body.
But they draw their power from the same source: my aura.
I need to divide my concentration.
Half of it to make sure I do not kill myelf.
The other half to coordinate my attack.

My katana begins to vibrate heavily.
I turn the dragon energy into heat. A heat greater than that of suns, probably only matched by the pressure within a black hole, something only a dragon can do.
With my phoenix energy I do the exact opposite. Absolue zero. The temperature at which everything stops, an ability exclusive to wielders of divine energy.
Both touch only at the edge of the blade.
This causes the laws of physics to break down.
Such opposing forces cannot occupy the same space, yet they do at the very edge of the blade.
An intense pressure vortex forms around my blade because the air surrounding it no longer has any idea how to act.

I swing my katana at the Templar, who is now only centimeters away from me.
The intense pressure emerging from my sword closes the opening I gave him earlier.
This has to work. This is one of the most powerful techniques I know of, and I am risking my life to perform it.
It is not a dragon ability, nor is it a phoenix ability.
It is my ability. Mine alone. A combination of powers only I could use on the most extreme level.
If this doesn't hurt him nothing will.

As I swing my katana towards him. I no longer manage to contain the force within.
Some energy leaks out, causing intense vortexes around us.
It emits a pure, blinding light.

And then, they finally clash.
My katana and his staff.
The explosion of energy is beyond anything I've ever experienced.
My senses shut down to protect my body from the intensity of the situation.
It is like witnessing the big bang. The emergence of a sheer infinite supply of energy from a tiny point in space.

My senses slowly recover...
The energy in my body is completely unstable. Both the dragonic and phoenix circuits have completely shut down.
As my vision normalizes I can see the disaster I have caused in front of me.
The entire landscape is partially frozen and partially on fire.
A huge crack in the landscape, starting at my feet, reaches kilometers into the distance.
At some points it is multiple meters wide.
And that was caused by nothing but the side effects of my technique.
The energy released by the attack was all directed perfectly towards the Templar, none of it touched my surroundings.

I turn around, still in slow motion.
He must be dead. Please be dead.
As I turn I notice my katana burning in a bright blue flame.
It is vibrating at an immensely high frequency, emitting a very high pitched tone.
No other material would ever have been able to contain the energy needed for this attack.
It was forged using parts of my dragonic and phoenix energy,
designed specifically to be able to hold these forces for short periods of time.

And then I see him, turning around as well.
Our eyes meet.
He is not dead.
And he is angry. Properly mad.
He swings his fully intact staff back into an attack position.
We are so screwed.

But then, a flicker of hope.
The chest plate of his armor shatters and drops to the ground revealing a long cut reaching all the way from his shoulder to his abdomen.
But even though the wound is deep, no blood is coming out of it.
He is clearly wounded though.
But so am I.

My aura took quite a hit. It wasn't him though.
Even though I controlled both energies perfectly I still damaged my aura.
But the damage is low and mostly superficial.
Small arcs of lighting are shooting across my body because of it.
I'm still operating my aura at the absolute maximum. The arcs are caused by energy leaking out of the tiny damaged spots.

But then all the hope I just gathered vanishes.
A second Templar emerges from a portal.
And the first one doesn't even seem to be in that bad of a shape after my attack.
We need to run. We need to run now.
But I don't know how.

Energy emerges from below the ground. Yes! There's still a chance.
During the short downtime Yuya managed to collect a huge concentration of water below the ground and cast her Leviathan.
It bursts out from below the ground and both the Templars disappear within it.
An attack of truly godlike proportions.

But this won't be enough time. It'll buy us maybe a tenth of a second, not enough to cast my phoenix wings and get us out.
I need to buy more time.
I blink towards Yuya and summon the huge phoenix wings on my back, and focus as much phoenix energy as I can.
I will block a single attack.
This should provide enough time for Yuya to draw a portal.
Maybe portaling will buy us enough time for me to use the phoenix teleportation, which they cannot follow.
This is one of the situations where it is truly advantageous that we share our thoughts.

I stand strong before her, surrounding us with a divine energy shield.
I'm putting all the force that I have left into it.
Yuya is casting a portal on the ground in the mean time.
Point one of a second... come on!

A beam of light breaks the Leviathan body and hits my energy shield hard.
A purely energy based attack.
The ground around is disintegrates under the force.
Only the parts within my shield remain intact.
But I won't be able to hold this for the tenth of a second we need.
It will collapse too early.

I start shrinking it to conserve energy.
Right now it is encompassing my huge phoenix wings. I won't need those to survive.
I shrink it all the way down until it only protects our bodies.
My wings burn to ashes as they touch the outer limits of the shield.
It hurts. It hurts so much.
How long can a tenth of a second last?

My wings are nearly completely gone now.
We are kneeling, the shield diameter is down a meter and a half.
And then finally the portal forms below my feet and we fall through.
We enter the wormhole created by the portal.
Blood from my broken wings streams into it.

It goes far... very far.
Yuya casted a portal towards a location much farther away than I've ever been.
This might buy us the time we need.
We emerge from the other end of the wormhole, onto a barren planet.
I immediately summon the phoenix wings on my left arm and try to make us enter the fabric of space and get us home.
Yuya nearly collapses under the exhaustion of having casted this portal right after the Leviathan.

The wings materialize and I can sense our bodies shifting into the fabric.
Both Templars appear out of nowhere closely in front of us.
But this will work. This is enough time.
The wound I caused on one of them is already in the process of healing.
What the fuck? How... ?
The other one smiles at me.

"Run little dragon! Run! We will get you soon enough!"

Followed by a maniacal laughter.
Finally we disappear into the fabric of space and are transported to Haven.
As we emerge, we drop to the ground exhausted.
My entire body is shaking, either from fear or because I pushed my body too far, I'm not sure.

"I'm sorry. I thought we had more time."

I knew it would happen. Somewhere deep within I knew it would happen after I fought the first one of them.
He was weaker, sort of a run-away or something, no longer obeying the Templar collective.
I never imagined that the others would be so much more powerful.

"I need to become stronger... much stronger."

She looks at me in a very sad way.
I have never seen her sad before. She is always so happy and full of energy.

"I'm so sorry. I did not bring you back for this, I don't want you to have to fight again."
"Of course you didn't. But it is inevitable. I will have to fight. I will have to fight again."
"If this is what it takes to be here again then I will fight... "

I look at my still shaking hands.
I am so strong already. So immensely powerful.
Yet, I still stand no chance against them, no chance whatsoever.
Not even in a two on one fight.
I think about the journey ahead of me.
I'm going to need help... I'm going to need a lot of help...

I can't really keep up with my DJ, which is sort of a good thing I guess?
I've stopped journaling non-lucids entirely and I'm skipping unimportant details in my lucids.
For example I skip details such as becoming lucid or doing mental stabilization etc.

I'm pretty sure this is the longest dream I've ever had.
It definitely felt "deep", which is how Yuya describes it, which is oddly enough a term WakingNomad uses as well.
It feels very rewarding to have such a dream after spending dream time "training" to achieve this.



Day 1: Barfight - Earth from Space

... It takes longer than usual to locate Yuya's aura.
Where... what the hell?
Is that a bar?
I also vaguely feel a demonic presence near her.

I decide not to teleport straight to her, but instead teleport to outside of the bar.
I'm not really sure what's going on and I don't want to cause a scene.



I end up in front of what appears to be a bar from an old western.
It's on top of a cliff with nothing but desert surrounding it.
The demonic presence is more clear now.
There's multiple instances, but they all seem weak.
I decide to mask my own aura after I notice that Yuya is masking hers.
That's probably why I had trouble locating her.

I enter the bar, acting as if I belong here.
I spot Yuya sitting at the bar. She's wearing a brown coat?
Probably trying to look inconspicuous or something. (Or a firefly reference you idiot)
I on the other hand am wearing my typical attire.
But it doesn't matter. If you mask your aura people barely notice you unless you talk to them direcly.
And even then they usually don't notice any oddities and forget you quickly.
This works only on weaker minds of course, who don't fully use their 6th sense.

I sit down next to Yuya and order a beer.
A passively scan the surrounding aura's.
Yep, just as I thought, they're all kind of weak. And they are all of demonic nature?
They are all oddly similar, even though the creatures are of different species.
Most are humanoid though.
They must belong together in some way.

The beer is mediocre. It's lukewarm. Beh.

"So... What's going on?"
"Hm..."

She grins.
I hear someone drop a glass in the background and it shatters.
Then it happens again in another corner of the room.
Yuya's expression reveals that she's responsible for this.
She's controlling the water molecules in the drinks to throw them off the table.
It will take these people some time to figure out what's going on.
The bartender will probably notice first, he has the strongest aura.
I can already see it in his eyes that he has noticed that something is wrong.
So... Yuya appears to be starting a barfight.
Ha, this is kind of fun.
Since I've started time dilation training we've deliberately gotten ourselves into a lot of trouble.
Fully emerging myself into the dream allows me to stay for really long times.
I've managed to stay many hours a few times in a row now.
The only thing I haven't managed yet is to go to sleep without waking up.

The bartender looks straight into Yuya's eyes.
Even if he doesn't notice her aura, he'll be able to tell by her eyes that she's not a demon and that she doesn't belong here.

"What? Who are you?"
"*smile* Trouble!"

The bartender then proceeds to lift up a double barreled shotgun from under the bar and aims it at Yuya's chest.
I look at Yuya.

"Have a safe trip."

The shotgun blast propels her off her chair into the back off the room and she crashes into one of the tables.
A fight breaks loose.
This is starting to become very comical.
Yuya won't need any help. I do kinda want to get involved in the fight though.
But... priorities!
I still have that shitty beer taste in my mouth.
Fortunately I spot a bottle of whiskey.
The bottle is kind of dirty.
I grab it, clearly annoying the gentlemen whom it belongs to.
I take a few big sips directly from the bottle.

"HEY!"
"Wat?"

I unleash a rather colossal burp, and to my surprise I spit quite a bit of fire in the process. Oops.

"Hey Yuya, I think I just figured out where that whole 'dragons spit fire' thing comes from."
"Congratu fucking lations."

She sounds rather occupied defending herself.
They're attacking her with wooden chairs, how cute.
Guy next to me I stole the whiskey bottle from has obviously figured out that I'm not supposed to be here.
He decides to run away... and there I was hoping to throw him across the room.

My fine bottle of whiskey is shattered by some dude crashing into me.

"Yuya... did you just throw this guy at me?"
"Oops?"

I'll better return him.
I pick the guy up and throw him back at Yuya.
It's funny how that works. It feels like throwing a tennis ball.
I have only fought properly strong opponents lately, I completely forgot how ridiculous my power is compared to normal beings.
Well, not normal. They are actually halfway decent demons.
But with mine or Yuya's power it really doesn't make a difference.

I enter the fight and start throwing more people around.
This is kinda fun. I like smashing the furniture into pieces.
Some of them shoot at me with revolvers. This is adorable.
Do they really think they stand a chance?
Well, they actually might.
My aura is probably so intense and overwhelming for them that they can't feel it at all.

Mid-fight I organize myself a new bottle of whiskey, because I still have some of that atrocious taste in my mouth.
This one is actually pretty good.
Most people start running away after they realize that we're completely out of their league.
Yuya sits down next to me on the only table that is still intact and I share the bottle with her.

"So. I take it 'start a barfight' is off the list then?"
"Haha. I think this makes me a bad person."
"Heh. I wonder what the gods would have thought of this back in the days."
"Oh boy, I would have been in so much trouble."

Huh? "The gods?"
Yuya used to be the goddess of water... uuuuuh.
There were more gods obviously, but I can't remember.
I wonder if they're still around.

A slightly stronger aura emerges from the distance.
Shortly after what appears to be the town sheriff enters the room pointing a rifle at us.

"Yeah, good luck with that."
"Haha."

That poor guy. He actually catches a glimpse of our true strength.
He must be terrified. I feel kinda bad now.

"Dude, don't worry, we'll leave."
"Okay..."
"Yeah... we really should go..."

We get up and Yuya tosses a coin at the sheriff.
I draw my phoenix wings to teleport us out but I'm not really sure where to go.
Oh! I have an idea!
I grab Yuya's hand.

"I'll show you something interesting."
"Oh?"

I want to show her Earth from the ISS.
It actually takes me a few seconds to find it within all the crap that is in orbit around our planet.
And something is off, I can't locate any auras within it.
The port feels different. It feels like the first port I make when I become lucid, not like the kind of port I make to change locations later.
Am I bringing us back into my private dreams?

The first thing I notice when we emerge is that it is rather unpleasant being in space.
My body instinctively reinforces a layer of energy around itself to protect me from the cold, vacuum and radiation.
We float a few meters and sit on the ISS.



This is exactly what I wanted to show Yuya.
Earth is such a beautiful planet. And only a handful of astronauts get to see it at a time.

"Wow!"

It's difficult to surprise Yuya like this.
She's seen so many wonderful things in her life.
But it seems I have found one that is worthy to be added to that list.

"She's such a beauty."
"Yeah... I wonder if I'll ever get to see her like this in my life."
"But... surely you will? You have had the technology to go to space for many years?"
"Exactly!"
"Oh... I don't really understand why this isn't moving forward."
"*sigh* There's not enough funding because the people in power don't care about it?"
"How can you not care about it? It's fucking space!"
"Yeah it's really sad. They argue that we should first solve our problems down on earth instead of bringing them with us to space."
"That is the most idiotic argument I have ever heard."
"Yep. And many people hear that and agree with it because they don't know any better."
"They don't see how much good has come from space exploration."
"It's the only thing that has managed to unite us as a species, which is kind of sad actually."

Well shit, I wanted to show Yuya something really cool and beautiful, and now I find myself rambling about the state of our space program.

"But there's hope! Private companies are getting involved who want to get commercial programs started."
"Ah!"
"So... I'm still confused about this."
"Huh?"
"Are we in your world or in my dream space right now?"
"... How can you not know this?"
"I don't know..."
"We're in your dream space or bubble or whatever you want to call it of course."
"Right. Because the ISS doesn't exist in your world."
"Right."
"But Earth does?"
"Yes, but it's another Earth. It's another dimension entirely."
"And the Moon"
"Yeah."
"The green Moon"
"Ha. Wasn't that one of you dreamers who did that?"
"WakingNomad"
"Heh. He sounds like an interesting fellow."

I spot someone in the Cupola module gazing at Earth as well.


If this were the real world and she saw 2 guys sitting in outer space she'd probably have a heart attack.
I start to feel tired. Took me a long time to get lucid, then we had a barfight and now I'm resisting the dangers of outer space.

"Yeah, we should go to bed, I haven't slept in 22 hours."
"Does Teraluna have a 24 hour cycle as well?"
"No, it's about 28 hours."

I summon my phoenix wings and target Teraluna.

"Can you really not feel it?"
"Hmm?"
"The difference between the universes, or planes or whatever. Like, when you target Teraluna, can you not feel how it isn't a location created by your own mind?"
"Uh. I guess... I always assumed that anything I target with the wings must be in your world."
"Huh, that's really weird. You dreamers really seem to have a hard time perceiving these kind of things."

We teleport to Teraluna.
It's nighttime. We both walk under one of the many small waterfalls within Yuya's place before getting to bed.
This is how you shower on Teraluna. There is something cleansing about these things.
It's much more practical than using soap, and you can also dry yourself up with some quick magic tricks.
I simply boil the remaining water on my skin away.
We need this stuff in waking life. And also magic.
Everything is better with magic.

We get into bed.
I love this ridiculously large bed.
It got these satin-like bed sheets that are kind of cold and feel super refreshing.
They also smell really nice.
And the mattress is sooo soft.
I quickly feel rather dizzy and my vision becomes all fuzzy.
I don't have time to think about the issues I've been having with sleeping dreams, which might be a good thing though.
I fall asleep. I clearly feel my dream body turning off.
My eyes close automatically, but my vision remains very active.
I see colorful plasma clouds and a lot of pink noise.

I feel cold wind on my skin as images are coming into existence.
They're memory flashes mixed with some really odd things I do not know.
The word "Ravenclaw" pops into my head.
Then I see tribal dragons and ravens flying around...


Day 2: Exploring Childhood Dreams

... Mmmh. I want to sleep some more.
I nest myself deeper into the bedsheets without any intention of getting up.

"Uuuh, we should really get up."
"I don't wanna."
"Dude."

She starts poking me relentlessly until I get our of bed.
Everything is a bit of a blur.

We have breakfast when it finally strikes me.
I finally managed to sleep in a dream!
Holy shit!
And it feels quite odd.
The "omgthisisamazing imsuperexcited" train of thought is certainly there but I don't feel it?
That tension in your body you feel when you get extremely excited which can cause you to wake up?
It's not there. It doesn't make it feel any less of an achievement, but I perceive it as rather odd that the sensation is missing.
This is a good thing though I suppose.

Yuya's expression changes to a rather intriguing smile.

"Hyu... do you think you are ready for me to show you something about your past?"

She's excited.

"Yes. Of course! What do you want to show me?"

Part of me hopes that it might be about how we've met, but I know that's not going to happen anytime soon.

"I need you to close your eyes."

Sure. I just slept without waking up like a boss, shouldn't be a problem to close my eyes.
... sleeping without waking up. One of those things that only makes sense in a dream.
I hear Yuya approaching and she sits down on my lap.
She seems to look into my closed eyes.
I can feel her thoughts entering my head.
They feel so different from my own.

I can see a scene materializing. Just like when you WILD. I get incoherent flashes first, and then everything stabilizes.

"Open your eyes."

I open them and see both her and the scene from my imagination.
She's drawn into my eyes and after a moment of heavy confusion we find ourselves in this new place.
I look around. It appears that we're on some sort of rather huge space station.



We're standing on the outer hull. There's gravity and an atmosphere, and temperatures appear to be normal.
There must be some kind of forcefield surrounding the station that prevents the atmosphere from escaping.

And then I suddenly get chills.
Holy shit!
I know this place!

"This is..."
"Oh my god... this is..."
"Fuck, I can't remember the name... it's... there's the motorcycle races and colony and mining and..."

Ugh, too much information at once.

"Take it easy. You have all the time you need."
"This is from my dreams. These were like my first consistent lucid dreams."
"Except I didn't know what lucid dreams were..."
"Wow, I must have been like... not even in my teens yet."

My memories are vague, but I start to recall the global setting.
This is a slave colony built around a big asteroid.
The slaves are forced to harvest it, which is a rather difficult task.
There were these bunk rooms were you live with 20ish other people.
Then every day you get up, go mine.
If you find valuable minerals you can trade them for food.
I was one of these slaves.
During some event I escaped the system and was able to enter the automated regions of the station,
where there are no cameras.
I Mcgyvered myself a small sleeping compartment in between some plasma conduits.
Nobody dares to get close to them, so I was safe there.
I got my water from the automated water recycling system and traded it and some things I've built for food with people in similar situations than myself.

And then there were the motorcycle races.
Holy shit those were amazing... and scary... and... batshit insane!
There were different racing classes, much like in a video game.
Starts out at D, then goes up to C, B, A and finally S.

D is comparable to superbikes in waking life.
Then with C class you get electric downforce systems.
They produce downforce without creating drag. Something with artificial gravity or magnets, I can't remember.
But you get the idea. You have ludicrous grip with these modules, so you're able to put down
a lot more power, break much harder and later, and corner at multiple g's.

The races were held on the outer hull of the station. The outside got pressurizes for maintenance on a regular basis,
just like it is now, so you can walk around and race motorcycle outside.
The higher classes had actual race tracks that surrounded the whole station, and they were insanely dangerous.
The station owners obviously knew about this and about all of the slaves that had escaped to the automated regions, but they didn't care.
They probably made a ton of money with the races, so why would they?

Races were properly dangerous as I already mentioned.
Not only do the motorcycles go way too fast, but all of them are tinkered together.
When you win races you get money, which is useless except for buying new parts.
They make you faster, you get into higher classes, win more money etc.
You're pushing most of the components way past their limit once you get into the higher classes.
It's perfectly normal for one or two bikes to blow up during a race and people dying because their brakes failed or they cornered a split second too late.

You can get to A class on the parts you can buy, but winning A races or getting into S requires you to build your own custom stuff.
I had a few useful contacts that could forge things for me if I gave them blueprints, but obviously you can't test anything.
You have an idea, you build it, install it and hope you'll somehow survive the next race.

"This was pretty sick. And by that I don't mean awesome... well, maybe a little."
"But... this was a bit messed up though. How did I come up with that?"
"Eh, video games might have played a role."
"Maybe..."

We walk around and I remember most locations.
The world is frozen though. It's like walking through a memory snapshot.
I can move things, but nothing will act on its own and all characters are frozen in time.
Most of them have blurry faces, which I assume is because I don't remember how they looked.

I find a small hangar which I shared with another racer. Both of our bikes should be in there.
I open the hangar using a hidden button on the outside.
And sure enough, both bikes are there.
The other racer is also there, and I can actually see his face.
He played a major role in those dreams. He was also the one who got me my first bike.


(Imagine this, except longer, twice as fat, and an engine that barely fits)

I sit on my old bike and turn on the systems.
Ecu, ignition, fuel 1, fuel 2...
Xgc? No idea what that was but better turn it on.
Throttle to 2% and a strong kick to the starter.

I nearly shit my pants as the engine comes to life.
I remembered it as pretty brutal, but mother of god...
I immediately let go of the throttle.
The revs drop to about ~4,5k where the engine begins to idle very roughly.
It idles at 4500rpm? holy shit!
Further inspection reveals that the rev indicator goes all the way up to 20k.
Redline starts at 14.000 but I remember reving it to over 17.000 on a regular basis.
The cooling systems can take it just barely.

I rev the engine gently and it immediately shoots up high into the rev range.
These things don't really have flywheels. The clutch is pretty much an on/off switch.
You use it once to get going and from there on you shift sequentially.
Investigating the engine, the exhaust manifolds indicate a V10 engine.
But then I spot another set coming from below. An X20?
The exhaust manifolds feed into two massive turbochargers that finally lead to 4 straight exhausts.
Even though the engine is idling, the pipes are glowing all the way back.
The bike is huge, but the engine barely fits.

I wonder how much power this has.
I remember getting it up past 700km/h on a straight runway, and just over 900 on a few suicidal runways that had
track parts that pointed straight down for a few kilometers.
At these speeds, even if you hide your face behind the tiny windshield, you simply cannot breathe.
You just hold it in until the next corner, and hope you don't black out during breaking.
I turn the engine off... now is not the time to race it. I'll definitely come back though.

I investigate the rest of the station with Yuya and try to remember things.
We talk about the only guy I can remember mostly.
I explain to Yuya what he did, how he got me my first bike and taught me how to upgrade it etc.
During that I realize that he was a dream guide.
I ask Yuya if he's Faye without thinking, which she laughs at.
Obviously he wasn't.

"So, what was the reason for racing? I mean sure, it's exciting, but also quite suicidal."
"Yeah... there was a rumor that when you win the S cup you can buy your freedom."
"They'll give you your identity back and get you to the next tradehub with some money."
"Ah. That makes sense."
"Yeah... it was a scam though. Only people with superhuman capabilities could get into S class and actually win."
"Obviously such a person would win nearly all races once he becomes skilled enough."
"That is a problem for the station owners because if the same person wins every time it becomes boring and they make less money."
"So once every S cup, they sell 'freedom' to the best guy. It's a good excuse for making someone disappear really."
"It gives all the racers a reason to race and keeps the crowd entertained. In the end they just kill you though."

But she already knew that, she asked to help me remember.
Fuck, this whole setting was dark.
Young me had some messed up dreams.

After spending half a day exploring old dreams we get back to Teraluna, where we proceed to drink and smoke what resembles weed.
It tastes different though, but it does a rather good job at getting you high.

We go to bed where I snuggle with Yuya.
Before falling asleep I make a rather overwhelming discovery.
Except it's... well it's not.

I'm holding Yuya in my arms as we fall asleep and I can feel her chest expanding as she breathes.
I can even feel her heartbeat.
Now, this is obviously perfectly normal, but for some reason I cannot help thinking:
"She is real!" as if this was some kind of proof of her existence.
This makes me think of waking life for the first time in many hours.
I question the reasoning I make in waking life but know that there's nothing I can do about it.
I think differently here.

I fall asleep and get pretty interesting visuals.
It's mostly very vividly colored plasma clouds and some geometric shapes.
It looks really interesting and makes me feel blissful.


Day 3: Yuya

I can't remember waking up, but I'm still on Teraluna.
It's afternoon and I'm coloring Yuya's back with some kind of dragon like tribal patterns.



There's a dance this evening which is why I'm doing this.
I have to be careful not to color over the tiny things living in her back, and on all the other citizens of Teraluna.
They grow up there using the body heat and Teralunas atmosphere.
If you leave they hide in a deeper layer of your skin.
When they have matured they fly away and new ones settle in in their place.
They're pretty cool because they glow in the dark.

I'm not really drawing these things myself. I just let dragonic energy slowly flow into some sort of pen and everything else just happens.
My hand moves on its own. I couldn't draw like that.
Then it suddenly strikes me.
Yuya is naked.
Well... yeah. Obviously duh. How else could I paint her entire back?

I gently kiss her on her neck.
...
What am I doing?
I wouldn't have dared to do that not too long ago.
I used to feel so shy around her, but that's gone completely.
She enjoys it, so I kiss her again, which starts a series of events leading to her bedroom.
It's very different from a recent dream with the hibiscus girl.
It probably helps that I didn't turn into a fucking animal, which still weirds me out thinking back.
I'm more like myself. The whole experience is very blissful, but even more powerful in emotions.
It's very difficult to explain. Everything is just right. I'm at peace...

We're at the party were we dance to music that bears a strong resemblance to vocal trance.
Liv is there as well, and it takes us half an eternity to motivate her to join us on the dance floor.
My vision becomes messed up because the scene is very dark, but lights are flashing everywhere.


I also start seeing the music at some point. Deep tones warp the entire field of vision whereas
high tones influence the colors I'm seeing.
At some point I loose it and wake up.

I'm properly confused for one or two seconds, thinking I woke up in a wrong bed and that I must have a false awakening.
Logic kicks in quickly though and everything is perfectly clear.
I close my eyes again and go through the dream backwards, trying to remember every detail.
Then I get up and immediately write the whole thing down rather than taking dream notes.