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    Hyu's Adventures

    Stardust

    by
    Hyu
    , 06-18-2012 at 08:01 PM (1051 Views)
    I haven't posted in a while.
    It's kinda difficult to find the time to do so with my current health issues. (It's nothing too serious I think, but it impedes me from doing activities that require a decent amount of brain power)
    The few moments where I feel alright and I'm motivated to write, I spend it trying to somehow finish my masters thesis in time.
    It's quite frustrating to know that it is going to take some more time until this will be resolved, because apparently it's perfectly normal to have to wait 10 weeks to get an mri done in this country. :/
    Then again, we got fantastic healthcare, so I shouldn't complain.

    Anyways, I don't really have the motivation to properly write down things that have happened in relation to the Templar story arc, but I figured I'd at least post something.
    Something that is much easier to write.
    So here's a random dream from last night which I thought was really cool, though I now realize that I'm going to have a hard time explaining why.
    It's weird how that works, sometimes a seemingly normal event can be very emotional in dreams.



    I'm in my bed, trying to fall asleep, when I notice that something is off with the lighting.
    Normally my room is really dark at night, there's a few very faint green and blue lights from a switch and a file server in the room, but that's about it.
    You really have to navigate the room by memories (if you don't turn the lights on), because it is too dark to make out anything.
    But for some reason I can distinguish everything clearly, even though it's all pitch black.
    What a contrast!


    Fortunately I know this look very well.
    Dark dreams! In my dreams darkness is usually compensated by a ludicrous amount of contrast, so I can see very clearly, even though it is really dark.
    It is rather astonishing how many shades of black there really are, and how easily they can be distinguished if you aren't limited by the human eye.

    I get out of bed and start exploring the house.
    I don't bother thinking about my current situation or dream stabilization because I'm under the impression that I'm fully lucid.
    This is however not the case.
    I'm not thinking clearly, as I would in a "fully" lucid dream.
    Yes, I'm aware that this is a dream, but I'm not thinking about doing cool stuff. No epiphanies or anything.
    Just a mindless zombie strolling through the house, hoping to catch a glimpse of something extraordinary.

    Once I am downstairs I notice that the scenery outside has changed rather dramatically.
    This is not where my house is in waking life at all!
    I go outside to explore more, and find that my house is now placed right next to a rather large lake.
    It is perfectly still and reflects the sky like a flawless mirror.


    Cool!
    I start walking over it, something I often do in dreams.
    Walking on water is really pleasant, if you do it barefoot that is.
    The water is really cold and I get chills up my spine during my first few steps.

    The sky is cloudless. It is perfect! There is no light pollution whatsoever. What a sight!
    But then I realize that I'm not really lucid.
    Or rather, I realize that I'm not thinking.
    Exploring your own thoughts is an amazing thing to do in dreams, and has become my favorite way of stabilization.
    If you're thinking clearly, dreams receive a huge boost in stability.
    It's also a good way to calm down if you are easily excited.

    Anyways, after some thinking I feel like I've gotten my brain to work adequately.
    But oddly enough I'm not in the mood to leave this place, even though I am now fully aware that I can.
    There is something very special about this scenery, and I'd like to stay for a bit longer.

    I take off my t-shirt, noticing that it's a bit odd that I'm wearing one.
    I never wear shirts to bed, especially not in the summer.
    I lie down on my back.

    It feels sooo good. My back touches the extremely cold water surface, which carries me easily.
    I feel very floaty and stretch out my arms.

    But even though this sensation is very enjoyable, blissful even, I cannot help but feel sad.
    Because in this sky I can see so many stars.
    Billions of them. And beyond them are billions of galaxies, containing billions of stars each.
    And I'm here, on this rather insignificant piece of rock: planet earth.
    Insignificant. That's really all I can think off.
    In comparison to the size of planet earth we have explored less than a single grain of sand.
    I feel alone. I feel stuck. I want to leave this planet.

    I stretch my right arm out and grab onto the stars in my field of vision with my hand.
    It's odd how I feel compelled to make this gesture even though nobody can see it but myself.
    I want to go there one day. I want to go within my lifetime.
    I want to explore this seemingly endless space.
    But I realize that I have most likely been born too soon.
    Why could I not have been born later, in an age where we are space explorers?

    ...

    Well, that is just fucking depressing.
    What is wrong with me?
    I'm dreaming. It's all about experiencing the unimaginable. It's about having fun.
    Yet here I lie, acting all melancholic.


    But then one of the stars becomes slightly brighter.
    For some reason I know that this is a super massive star that has just reached the end of its lifetime.
    Its core has collapsed, releasing a massive shock-wave. A supernova!
    During its lifetime it has fused hydrogen into heavier elements.
    Helium, Lithium, Carbon, Nitrogen, Oxygen and many more.
    And now, as its final act it is launching all of it into the vastness of space.

    But these elements will inevitably find others. They will attract each other and slowly but surely clump together.
    Some of them will turn into planets over the course of millions of years.
    And with a lot of chance, one of these planets will be at a certain distance from a sun.
    Maybe another smaller body will orbit it. A moon.
    And maybe, if everything goes right, some of the elements this planet consists of will combine in a certain way.
    And then there will be life... there will be another earth.
    Because that's what life is.
    That is what we are.
    We are all made from stardust, forged within the cores of super massive stars.

    And that is a really beautiful thought.
    Because even though we might appear insignificant compared to the vast size of the universe...
    we are special!
    I mean seriously. What are the fucking odds?

    And that makes me feel really great and I cannot help but smile.

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    Updated 06-18-2012 at 08:05 PM by 37117

    Categories
    lucid , memorable , side notes

    Comments

    1. Micael's Avatar
      That's quite the scenario you describe, both "externally" and internally, it's always worth sharing and I thank you for that.
      I must say although I don't know you I find you a very inspirational person, it's unfortunate what's going on but I'm sure you'll pull it through.
      Regarding the Templar story arc are you happy about how things are unfolding?
      I wish you the best luck both with your master thesis and the health issues you're facing friend, see ya
      Hyu likes this.
    2. Hyu's Avatar
      Thanks! I really appreciate it.

      As for the Templar story arc, yes, I'm quite happy with how things are progressing.
    3. Astrosomnia's Avatar
      I love you. Also, while I'm *completely* there with you on wanting to be born later, it's worth thinking that we are space explorers! We've been born at the very cusp of the space era. Assuming we don't eff everything up, I think future generations will look back at us with an almost paternal pride; a sort of bemused whimsy at how little we now know, but how eagerly we strove forward and how important that will have been. I'm thrilled to live in a time where we can see pictures of galaxies, know our cosmos and communicate essentially telepathically.

      Having said that, if I'm not alive for First Contact, I dunno what I'll do with myself.
      Hyu likes this.
    4. tashows's Avatar
      Your music choices are always so fitting to what you write! The last video is great both video and sound. :p I also quite enjoyed your thoughts. It's always nice to think about these things.
      Hyu likes this.
    5. Hyu's Avatar
      I love you. Also, while I'm *completely* there with you on wanting to be born later, it's worth thinking that we are space explorers! We've been born at the very cusp of the space era. Assuming we don't eff everything up, I think future generations will look back at us with an almost paternal pride; a sort of bemused whimsy at how little we now know, but how eagerly we strove forward and how important that will have been. I'm thrilled to live in a time where we can see pictures of galaxies, know our cosmos and communicate essentially telepathically.

      Having said that, if I'm not alive for First Contact, I dunno what I'll do with myself.
      Oh yes, absolutely!
      We do live in a very interesting time.
      Just looking back how many advances in technology we've made in the past 10 years is mind blowing. It's difficult to imagine where we'll be in another 10 years.
      And as for space exploration we're also at a very interesting point.

      There hasn't really been that much progress (in comparison to advances in technology in other domains) since the apollo missions, which were before my time.
      The big issue is that these missions were motivated by the cold war. The race to the moon was motivated by political reasons rather than scientific ones which is somewhat saddening, but doesn't make it any less of an accomplishment.
      After that, government interest in space dropped dramatically, which is very unfortunate.

      But for some reason, it is picking up quite intensely right now.
      It's not the governments though. Nope. It's some billionaires that are crazy about space.
      Commercial space exploration. I think it's a really good thing, because I see only good coming from some healthy competition.

      Only 3 weeks ago the first commercial spacecraft docked with the iss, which in my opinion was a truly historic moment, though I guess only a very small portion of our population realizes this.
      And there's a lot more going on besides spacex and other participants of the cots program.
      Planetary Resources is planning on mining asteroids for example o_o

      I'd say that we have a bright future ahead of us in terms of space exploration.
      If we ever figure out a better way to do nuclear fusion the solar system is ours.
      I'm with Elon Musk on this one, I'll be retiring to Mars.

      I'm skeptical for anything beyond that though.
      Don't get me wrong, I really want to see us explore other solar systems in my life time, and don't get me started on first contact.
      But the distances are so overwhelming.
      We haven't gotten the slightest clue how to get to another solar system within reasonable time frames.
      It really won't work without FTL technology, and as of now we have no sensible idea how to do that.
      Then again, with the current speed of advances in technology, nothing is impossible.

      Your music choices are always so fitting to what you write! The last video is great both video and sound. :p I also quite enjoyed your thoughts. It's always nice to think about these things.
      Thanks!
      I have a thing for cinematic music.
      Whenever I code or read I'm always listening to something random.
      I often have playlists just running all day long, and with cinematic music you'll always find something fitting.
      Epic Music 2011 by CapeTranquillity - YouTube
    6. Astrosomnia's Avatar
      Sounds to me like you've been watching our friend Mr. Tyson!:





      I completely agree with you about the SpaceX thing as well; far too few appreciate what a true accomplishment that is. I feel like McDonalds, Coke, Apple etc. should start putting money towards 'bigger' things, rather than just prescribing to the logic of "let's build another store just because..." Google is good in that regard.

      Really, if there were a true commitment to achieving fusion, interstellar travel and so on, we could have them down in a decade. Sigh.
      Hyu likes this.
    7. TheForgotten 's Avatar
      I'm confused on so many levels by your post. It's ok though, I don't want clarification on any of it.

      Sorry about your brain :\ Let us know how the MRI goes, whenever you get it... I mean, if that's something you feel like sharing at that time.

      I like this better than your templar storyline actually. Storylines are fun but personal experiences can be rewarding in different ways.
      Hyu likes this.
    8. Hyu's Avatar
      Sounds to me like you've been watching our friend Mr. Tyson!:

      I completely agree with you about the SpaceX thing as well; far too few appreciate what a true accomplishment that is. I feel like McDonalds, Coke, Apple etc. should start putting money towards 'bigger' things, rather than just prescribing to the logic of "let's build another store just because..." Google is good in that regard.

      Really, if there were a true commitment to achieving fusion, interstellar travel and so on, we could have them down in a decade. Sigh.
      Neil deGrasse Tyson is a very inspirational man.

      And yeah... I don't get why there is rather little commitment to achieve things such as fusion.
      Funny story about that actually, because that topic came up at my university a year ago or so.
      Turns out nearly all of the Germans (I study in Germany) were completely opposed to any research in fusion technology.
      After a big wtf from my side a discussion broke out.

      In the end, the only reason why they were opposed was because nuclear fusion had the word "nuclear" in it.
      And apparently in most peoples mind nuclear = bad.
      I was very disappointed having to go through explaining fusion to them and how it was completely different from fission, because it is just sad that people can form such a negative opinion on something they know absolutely nothing about.
      But I was glad that they listened, and that they understood the benefits of researching this technology.
      Because if we can get a moderately positive gain from the reaction then we've pretty much solved the energy problem of the entire planet for pretty much eternity. Without the problems associated with nuclear fission.

      But I think that's the issue with it. People hear nuclear and immediately jump to the conclusion that it is bad.
      I hope that this will change soon.


      Speaking of the Germans, they had this campaign against nuclear energy going, and you won't believe what they used as their sign:


      Yes, that is a smiling sun, the biggest and most powerful nuclear reactor in the entire solar system.
      Stuff like that makes me cringe.


      I'm confused on so many levels by your post. It's ok though, I don't want clarification on any of it.
      That is odd that you wouldn't want any clarification, but alright. o_o

      Sorry about your brain :\ Let us know how the MRI goes, whenever you get it... I mean, if that's something you feel like sharing at that time.
      Sure. I am pretty much convinced that they won't find anything and that they'll send me to another doc, because they quite frankly have no idea what's wrong with me.

      I like this better than your templar storyline actually. Storylines are fun but personal experiences can be rewarding in different ways.
      Yes! Sometimes it is these short experiences that are the most rewarding.
      Kaomea likes this.
    9. TheForgotten 's Avatar
      That is odd that you wouldn't want any clarification, but alright. o_o
      Yeah it is odd. I guess there's no harm in asking.

      Were you contemplating abstract ideas as you wrote this? I mean, it appears to be literal, from the way you write about your experience. Except it has higher applications which you sort of hint at. What does this entry mean to you on a personal level?
      Hyu likes this.
    10. Hyu's Avatar
      It is a reflection of thoughts and emotions I have in waking life, except a lot more intense.
      When I think of the vastness of the universe and our current inability to explore it, I do feel sort of lonely.
      I want to go out there, but I can't, and I might not be able to in my life time.
      And the fact that we are indeed made from the guts of dead stars is just one of these things that make me go "woah".
      If you consider everything that had to go right so that we can be here today, it truly is astonishing.

      I think about such things a lot. I'm weird like that.
      Astrosomnia and Kaomea like this.
    11. TheForgotten 's Avatar
      Lol.

      Thanks for clarifying And yeah, that lonely feeling can get pretty intense >.>

      Sorta figured you for a weirdo.
      Hyu likes this.
      Updated 06-19-2012 at 12:58 PM by Kaomea
    12. Astrosomnia's Avatar
      Hahah! I used to live in Stuttgart and I totally remember that little sun slogan. It is an odd sort of irony, that's for sure.
      Hyu likes this.
    13. Hyu's Avatar
      Sorta figured you for a weirdo.
      I cannot deny that. Then again, who wants to be normal, right?
    14. Spyyko's Avatar
      Space is truly the final frontier... After we advance into the cosmos, where does humanity go from there? We know almost everything there is to know about our planet, but the earth, like you said, is but a molecule on a grain of sand belonging to a beach which has no end.

      I hope everything turns out fine for you, regarding your health. Keep dreaming man, you're an inspiration to all of us
      Micael, tashows and Hyu like this.
    15. KristaNicole07's Avatar
      Wow, very profound dream!

      It's interesting that I'm just now reading this. Yesterday, I watched a Stephen Hawking documentary on other galaxies, life outside our planet, and the origins of the universe. The theme of your dream really matches up. Weird!
      Hyu likes this.
    16. Hyu's Avatar
      I've been watching a lot of similar documentaries lately.
      I suppose with SpaceX launching Dragon to the ISS and now Curiosity landing on Mars, I'm just constantly in the mood to learn more about our universe.
      KristaNicole07 likes this.
    17. KristaNicole07's Avatar
      It is a very interesting subject, isn't it?
      Hyu likes this.
    18. Hyu's Avatar
      Absolutely! Though according to some friends I'm a little too crazy about it.
      KristaNicole07 likes this.