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    IndigoRose

    17 March - We miss you, Grandma

    by , 04-17-2021 at 12:52 AM (47 Views)
    comment non-lucid lucid something else

    11 am - accepting a package from a courier, using the bathroom
    after 11 - MILD mantra, MILD visualization, continuing with VILD but my brain doesn't cooperate and I can't get it going. 2 fast cycles of SSILD but I can't focus anymore.
    My brain continues to VILD on its own and doesn't want to go to sleep - there some part-visualization/part-dreams.

    Formula1 racer
    I am talking to someone who is a Formula1 racer.
    I can't tell if this was a visualization/daydream or a dream. I think I was still active in it but the subconscious was doing a large part.

    Very friendly girl
    Suddenly a scene appeared. I was sitting behind a table and a girl with brown hair came and sat against me. I was holding a book and she asked if I didn't mind that the authors aren't lucid enough. I answered that I could understand for some of them but not the creative ones (or something like that, it didn't make much sense/was based on false knowledge). Then she got closer to me and started kissing me. I was screaming "this is a dream, this is a dream" in my head but nothing happened and it ended as suddenly as it started.
    It felt more like a dreamlet than a dream. That dream feeling just wasn't there. But it was too sophisticated and too long to be a dreamlet. I don't know. Certainly not a fully formed normal dream.

    I can't fall asleep.
    Checking the time, it's 12 am.
    Desperate, I ask my subconscious to just let me sleep.
    I think there was some NREM sleep after this. Nothing conscious.

    We miss you, Grandma
    There is a scene forming around me. I see it forming and my first thought is "I am not visualizing this" and the second "this has to be a dream".
    I sit on a bed in a room with the bed, a table and kitchen cabinets. It is supposed to be my first adulthood flat but it looks more like my childhood home. Everything is extremely blurry and quite dark but I can feel it is stable. I touch the bed and feel the texture and the vision gets slightly better, there are two very blurry circular spots in my vision.
    There is my dead great-grandmother next to me so I think at least use this low-quality dream to hug her. I hug her and tell her "I love you very much and we miss you, grandma". She strokes my hair and says "My IndigoRose". I ask her if she liked how my grandmother (her daughter) refurbished the flat. She said she liked it but was worried about her. And we talk about my grandmother getting old.
    Then I go to the kitchen sink (which is also a toilet?) and help with washing some vegetables there.
    It gets blurry again and I touch a chair and feel the grain of the wood. It helps but my vision is weird - with vertical strips of blurriness and with gaps. Slowly, it gets better but I am confused, forgetting where I am. I say "this is still a dream", actually realizing that and clearing my confusion. There is my brother on the bed and because he has heard me, I repeat "this is a dream" but he stares at me blankly and says nothing. I show him a finger in the palm RC but it doesn't work, my finger doesn't go through. I laugh but I still know it is a dream. I do nose plug RC and I can breathe easily. I tell him: "You see, I can breathe" but he is not impressed.
    There is a woman sitting on a chair next to the door, she is supposed to be a family member but I don't know which one. She has a big black spot on her face and I wonder if dreams do that.
    I don't know what to do, I am thinking about jumping from the window and flying and I expect to fall and wake up and decide that this dream isn't good for trying it. I am also thinking "what if this is real?".
    Then I hear my nose wheezing IRL and I expect to lose the dream but it is still stable. I try to clear my nose which I can do and the dream is still holding. But my real nose is still wheezing. I am annoyed by this dream and decide to wake up.

    Which I wanted to do anyway in one of my dreams to prove my lucidity to myself. So at least this is one goal done.
    DarkestDarkness and Mayatara like this.

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