Jakro Goes Hardcore Into LDs

Same old story with the recall, only fragments. I guess being biphasic at the moment is capping the limit of my recall. I'm staying asleep so short times that proper long dreams can't form. According to my Zeo Sleep Monitor my longest REM-periods happen a little bit after five hours, so it's no wonder that I'm not reaching my best with 3-4 hours at a time. I'll still keep this up, we'll see if it improves once I get more used to it.

In the meanwhile let's check back to one fucked up dream I had a while back. One that proves that being lucid and having a nightmare are not exclusive.

Killing My Mom
Date: July 27th, 2009
Lucid: Yes
Method: DILD

I don't remember what triggered the lucidity, but after confirming it with reality check I was semi-excited. I had read bunch of stuff back then about grounding the lucidity using touch, so I tried licking a screw that I found. I didn't notice any change in the quality of the dream.

Next I tried to put the living room's light's on as the dream seemed a bit dark. Obviously the lights wouldn't work. I called out my mom to put them on. I mean surely the dream character would manage to put them on? I don't remember what we exactly said to each other, but she didn't do it in the end. So I did the next best alternative. I started fucking smashing the lamps into pieces. I guess I am more random when lucid than normally in dreams. Surprisingly that was such a strong stimulation that it strengthened the dream. I think it also got brighter, ironically.

My mom got upset about the broken lamps though. This sent the dream into a downward spiral. Her negative emotions (that were actually mine, since this is my dream after all), made me angrier and I started venting it on the furniture, as I knew it was a dream. I don't usually smash the TV like I did then when I'm mad. No, really, I don't do that shit. So anyway mom started screaming at me for such behavior and I didn't want to hear that shit.

I went to my brother's room. There's a big window there. I jumped through the glass to get out. Yeah, I sure like destruction. Why take the door, when you can smash yourself through two layers of glass? I ran to the woods next to our house to get away. The atmosphere of the dream had turned into really dark and depressing. I was frightened and conscious of it. I knew that I had to get rid of the fear because I knew that it would affect the dream. Besides, what's there to fear, I knew it was a dream after all!

I tried joking around with my mom. I said to her that she is surprisingly agile for such considering how big she is (she is overweight). I guess that's not the best joke to say someone to calm him down in reality, but as it amused me and my mom was just a manifestation of my mind, that could have worked. But it didn't.

Confrontation was inevitable. The fight was short and I killed my mom with a simple hit on the head. I was relieved, but still thought how fucked up that whole thing was. Relief was only temporary though, as my sis came after me next and she wasn't happy. I was like "you gotta be kidding me?" Do I have to kill my family members one by one in a lucid? That's some fucked up shit right there. I tried to convince her to calm down, but I said the last words aloud in my bed, as I had woken up. Thank Lord.