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    1. Getting chased lucid | [12.06.2021

      by , 06-16-2021 at 03:06 PM (Draeger's Dream Journal and Documentation)
      Getting chased lucid
      I am with multiple people in a sort of changing room with many lockers. I do the nose plug RC and realize that I am dreaming. Since this dream is a nightmare, I am a bit worried, and try to get out of the situation first. I end up on a high mountain.



      I didn't have motivation to write down this dream for many days, which is why it's not really detailed.
    2. 14 Jun: Hit and run and consumed by remorse, UFOs among us and learn to program them

      by , 06-14-2021 at 03:34 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP


      I am a college student and I hit and run a man and left him bleeding to death on the road. My thought was that he was going to die anyway, before help arrived and so I rationalized that fleeing wouldn't ruin even more lives, namely mine and of those around me who would suffer immensely if I was convicted of manslaughter. So I decided to run away and pretend I had nothing to do with it and act normally. I was absolutely sure I could pull it off, even when the police appeared on campus and started investigating the students.
      I am heading to the library and the detectives are in the corridor talking to people and my paranoid mind believes a couple of them seem to be watching every movement I make and my facial expressions. I do get a bit nervous and I bump into a table and throw an ashtray to the ground, but I am already out of their sight. At the library I steal some chips from some kid who has a bag of chips open on his table. He doesn't even flinch. Wonder if that's because he is my friend or he just fears me. I go meet a friend at the most far back table and he is playing a computer game with cars and he is very proud that he managed to fit a car with a long hood into the back of a truck cabin and make a weird truck trailer, just to prove his smart and ability to bend the rules and codes of the game. I couldn't care less and cars actually trigger me at the moment, but I engage with his enthusiasm, to not raise suspicion. Later on I meet a group of friends, who are all very shocked with the events. One of the girls (looks my old friend Mara) says she would have no mercy for whomever the killer is. I feel very uncomfortable that I am the person and imagining if it is ever found out.
      We go for a walk outside the campus and we pass by the road where the accident happened, but they don't know that. There is no longer any sign of what happened, besides a patch of sand the authorities spread to soak up the blood. But my friends don't know, they have no idea where the accident happened, so "Mara" asks what is this for and I swiftly say probably to cover some oil spill. They look at me a bit strangely and I say I am just guessing. We arrive at some snack-bar / pub by the side of the road, where they like to go, and the cops and detectives are gathered there. This makes me anxious. There is also Master Harry, a Scott who is like the keeper of the campus. He spots us and invite us along. But my friends feel super interested in talking to the cops. The owner of this place is a surfer and has a long board decorating the place, above our heads and one of the detectives apparently also surfs so they engage in conversation regarding the long board. I am not interested.
      Then the older detective throws me a bate, by teasing me about a plant cared by the bar owner. I am not the least interested. He asks me stuff like if I can identify it, if I'd like to have one too and what I think about this guy managing to have one in this climate. And I am like "why should I care?". Then he shows me it is a pineapple and asks me if I shouldn't I be more enthusiastic about plants. I realize he already knows too much about me and my interests, which means I am a suspect. I do have a greenhouse that I care for meticulously at my parents house and I care a lot about plants, just not in this context with the stress I am feeling. I am seeing my life going down the drain. I don't know how they know, but they already suspect it was me, and are just trying to catch me. I think about my plants dying if I am arrested and I feel extremely sad for that, more than anything else.


      Back to previous dream. I am not caught yet, but I am going crazy with the guilt and duplicity. I have to deal with several people related to the victim and the feeling that I am keeping this secret from them and they would hate me if they knew the truth is consuming me. I am wishing to go to some island where nobody knows me and start a new life.
      I am staying at some pension of a lady who isn't particularly fond of me. She complains of something I supposedly did in the kitchen and asks me to clean it, but I am relieved to know it is just a silly thing I didn't even do. She has no clue that some other night I was drunk and peed in the kitchen. So I go look into the fridge and instead of cleaning whatever, I steal something, like some cheese and bread to make a sandwich. Then I hear her talking to her daughter, who just arrived from school and is complaining about something. Her mother says "well, you're not doing anything, because her mom is Carolina Herrera and nobody dares to upset that family at this moment, because of the terrible thing that happened to her dad."
      They are talking about the man I killed. I feel guilty again and run to my room. The room looks like my mom's office and there are tigers outside of the window trying to come in, so I rush to shut all the openings and lock the door.


      At my mom's house, It's night and I look outside. I spot a UFO, just a white light orb dancing around at distance. Then I spot another one, static and the first one moves towards the still one and then they both move away. During the day I spot one again in the sky. I start seeing them a lot. One day I spot one very small just hovering a street. I now am able to spot them all over the streets, spying on people, unaware of them. Only I seem to be able to see them. with the help of some friends, I capture one. It is the size of a basketball and it loses the ability to camouflage when offline. I show to my friends, who believed me but had never seen one themselves. I teach my friends how to spot them, and we can see them in the sky, in strategic places, positioned in geometric clusters. They form ice crystal like shapes with arms connecting them inside pentagonal areas. These bigger structures seem to be regulating the climate or other purposes. The little ones at the street level are watching us on a daily basis.

      Back to the dream. Me and my friends are now a rebel force meeting in secret and collecting data on these UFOs, trying to understand what they are here for. One day, I am on a bus ride with one of this friends and we spot one in the sky, after a long time not seeing them. We wondered if they found a new way to cloak or had simply disappeared. Then we see two jets flying on each side of the orb but at some point leaving and the orb staying fixed in a position. Me and friend point to it but no one else seems to see it. As I point to it, I feel like I am pushing a button and the orb opens up into a square of squares of different size, like a virtual keyboard. On top rows are bigger blue squares and bellow are smaller red squares. So I do what I did before and also pretend to click them as if they are buttons. I push a random combination of keys. The UFO/keyboard disappears and immediately strange things happen, like some cars on the road going bananas as if they lost their electronics, and going over the rails and crashing. We rush to meet with the others and tell them what happened. They are a bit incredulous, but I explain maybe all orbs are programmable but we need to crack the code and see which combinations do what. Then the girl who usually brings us food comes in looking scared. Says the building is surrounded and they threatened her. Everyone wonders how they found us and I say I actually told them and it is part of a bigger plan, but they think I am just crazy and are in shock that I did that. I seem to have a really intricate plan, but I wake up before finding out.

      Updated 06-14-2021 at 03:38 PM by 34880

      Categories
      non-lucid , nightmare
    3. Kinda traumatizing dance (?)

      by , 06-08-2021 at 10:15 AM
      With Adam F at the school dance with hot pink lights in pozen, bleachers on both sides, crowded with people at 2am. We're standing and swaying and he's looking at my sketchbook for some reason.
      "you can look at it with me if you want" he says. There's an unspoken sense of aggression.
      He lowers it down a foot for me, as if I'm really short.
      He says something and I respond by saying this is exhausting--the standing, constant shuffling, showing your work and the small talk--but then I hope he doesn't think I'm talking about him specifically. but I don't backtrack, and instead start putting extra effort into my body language to make up for the perceived slight.
      I think it's going well.
      He is commenting thoughtfully on the pieces and it seems like he might be into art.
      and then he points to something and turns the book towards me to show me, and brings his body really close to mine. I thought he had a girlfriend
      And looks down and the top of his head brushes mine and I look up and I can smell him and see the beads of sweat on his red hot face in the deep pink colored room
      And he comes back and forth in and out, swaying with me a bit aggressively
      and he never makes eye contact once while doing this. EVER. In a coy way.
      but he knows I am so turned on
      and he starts saying really douchey things while he towers over me and practically presses his chest into my face, and my knees are jelly and the smell of his cologne fills my nose and he starts saying really awful things
      and there's a page of my art with a female character, and he gets closer and starts spitting and drooling on what I made
      and it soaks the page enough to warp it and there is a thick webbed pattern of warm viscous saliva dripping from it into my hand now, and he smiles and stares directly into my eyes for the first time and tells me how he would love to blow a hot load all over her
      and I feel my face is white like I'm going to throw up
      and he walks away slowly and casually as if I wasn't there and slams the book shut in his hands, then drops it casually
      and it hits the floor heavy like the slam of a metal door and makes me jump and curls my lip, and I see the pages crumble in on themselves
      and my head feels dizzy and hollow, like it's floating away from my body and I don't want to try to move because I know I'll throw up
      but some short girl comes and takes my hand with her soft one
      another one asks if I want to call 911 but I say no no no but I'm glad someone else saw and asked, and the first girl leads me gently out of pozen into the warm hallway.
      I feel like I was traumatized but I don't know why that did it, maybe because I didn't expect it from him. Or the anxious bad part of me did, but he tricked the good side of me into giving him the benefit of the doubt and lowering my guard.

      I'm sitting down under an old dark wooden table in the pozen hallway looking at my crosslegged feet and someone else asks if I'm okay, and I look at the girl who helped me. She's under here with me
      She looks like Becca K, with a modest tan jacket on
      And for some reason she dissapears and I go back into pozen looking for her.
      Categories
      non-lucid , nightmare
    4. Freaky subway nightmare | [11.05.2021]

      by , 05-12-2021 at 02:58 AM (Draeger's Dream Journal and Documentation)
      Freaky subway nightmare
      I remember that the situation is like playing a video game again, although this time I feel like I am forced to play, despite my fear of seeing some gruesome image within it. Then I am in the game, physically, and it's regarded as real. There's something about being underground. There's something I don't remember, then I am in a sort of train with people, and I sort of have to save us by getting weird rubbery things on circular parts on a metal box that seems to be central to the function of the train. I notice nobody else is doing anything and that if we don't manage to do this, we will crash with full force into a sort of other chambers, which we are sort of falling into from the top, and to brake we have to get the rubber things on there. I also appear to be some female character relevant to the story, and she might have a name starting with A. I see that nobody else is trying to save us, so I animate them to help. But then, I struggle to do it, so we soon crash. But then suddenly, there's like a second try, so this time, the same things happen, except that this time, I manage to get most of the rubber things on. I think we will die again, but this time, the train brakes and stops in the chamber with no one hurt.



      This might not seem freaky, but there's some sort of deep fear associated with this gruesome image. There were some past dreams that were so horrible that I've supressed them, with a much stronger version of this fear associated with it that are still horrible to think about today. Not sure where this fear comes from, but I probably don't want to know, to be honest.
    5. Insane!!!

      by , 04-27-2021 at 03:14 AM (MoSh's DJ: The Best Dream Journal in The Universe.)
      Jamie

      Jamie seemed upset about something. that's all I can recall. Miss the longer dreams about her...


      Death

      A long dream but I only remember sectioned. An old co worker named K and I were in a town that looked like chilliwack. He was coercing me to help him kill people. We had to cut people up into tiny piece so we would stash them in baggies and them bury them in a park. I didn't enjoy this. I was terrified of doing this and wanted to get away from him. Later I was by chilliwack mountain and saw a youtuber moe sargi who i never watch anymore. I kept asking him about his videos and he told me they are all fake... I already knew that.


      Some other dream i recall about Saad doing drywall like my dad. He seemed pissed at me.
    6. Pouring rain and weed bags

      by , 04-22-2021 at 05:54 PM
      the dream start i was laying down in the streets and some heavy rain starts pouring i get up and see a guy in a black leather jacket and red pants he ask me do i play games i try to answer then he reaches in his pocket then pulls out a bag of weed i reach and try to grab it and jolting lighting pulse hit me when i touch the weed bag i try to stay lucid but i was losing awareness and i fell out the dream right when the pulse of lighting hit it was awesome who remember getting that jolt!!
    7. March 23, 2021

      by , 03-23-2021 at 05:50 PM
      I was attempting a WILD - didn't work but I did fall asleep luckily


      First dream I had I was living in a mansion, just a bigger 3D version of my bedroom with a private bathroom.
      Kinda like a Sims type of house.
      My parents were also living there for some reason.

      I had to pee but was constantly interrupted by my parents whenever I wanted to go to the bathroom.

      I woke up, actually needing to go to the bathroom so it was a good thing I didn't go in my dream.

      Second dream I had was short.

      I in my living room staring at the floor, when a shadow appeared screaming "Hey!"

      That jumpscare woke me up immediately lol, wasn't sure whether I was still dreaming or not so I slept with my head in the pillow as I didn't want to see some other "surprise shadow" behind my curtains hahahaha

      Can't recall the third dream I shortly had before class started.
    8. 20 Mar: Rescuing cats, parasites and toxic bugs, superman alter-egos

      by , 03-20-2021 at 11:42 AM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      At a house which appears to be Carla's home. There's my mom and my grandpa along with a bunch other people, as if they all live together there. There is an earthquake and I suggest we get out while it is happening, but my mom points out that grandpa can't get up and walk on his own. So while we're doing our best to lift him, the earthquake stops. People feel like it is ok to stay, but I go check the house and some rooms look dangerously affected, with awful cracks on walls and ceiling. I insist on evacuating everybody and I manage to grab my grandpa on my own over my shoulder and take him away, but then mom and a friend remind me about all the cats that live there and especially like to gather on the rooms that are most damaged. I tell them I will get them all to safety, and I start grabbing them two at a time and putting them in improvised boxes and containers to a safer area of the building, and closing these rooms shut. But there seem to be more and more cats popping up. At some point the corner room that was more damaged, is really coĺapsing and the cats are just there hanging out like totally oblivious of the danger upon them.

      At some modern house with glass walls and straight lines over a grassy hill. There is a bunch of kids that come over for activities and I am somewhat responsible for them. We are playing with a radio broadcaster or similar and I am thirsty so I go drink a glass of water. It tastes horribly and I notice it is orange like it has rust in it. I go check our water source, some kind of well, and it is poisoned by two kinds of dead processionary caterpillars, one of them which is orange and black and I've never seen before. Doesn't seem very safe. Meanwhile I spot a bunch of them on the ground and before the kids or dogs touch them, I rush to pick them all and put them on a bucket. But on doing so, I grab some soil that is infested with different bugs and worms and there are some thin long ones that I think are baby earthworms, until one gets between my fingers and finds a way through my skin. It is so thin and slimy I can't get a hold of it and it enters inside my hand. I can feel it moving and it is exasperating and painful. I go to the doctor immediately and she gives me really grim news saying I just drunk water with a deadly toxin and have inside me the worst parasite that grows the larger of all. She says I have also been bitten twice by a black widow and I'm like "when was that, because I didn't complain about any of that?". She starts me on treatment but says the prospects aren't the best. I cry like a baby and say I'll never again even step outside the safety of a city.

      Me and Riverstone run a little shop with everything from new and used clothes to a books and antiques and we also have a few boxes with stuff for free that people can just take. Some lady is interested in used baby clothes as she can't afford brand new clothes and I am having difficulty in finding it in the middle of the mess the shop is in at the moment. She asks if some stuff she likes can be taken for free and Riverstone says yes, because he is overwhelmed by the excess stock we have, but I think it is very sellable stuff so I say no to her. Meanwhile the lady is waiting regarding the baby clothing and I tell her to come back the next day and I'll have the stuff she wants. That's when I notice she is a little person.
      Then I see some other customer sitting on a stone slab outside where some slug like creatures are sneaking behind him and because of my previous dream with worms, I panic and warn him about it. Still, one of them hooks itself on his back, like a leech. Fortunately we manage to unhook it. Then some stupid ass idiot comes by with a bunch of these worms in a jar, throws them at me and runs away. Everybody freaks out and helps me shake them out of my hair and check if any has latched on my body, but we think I am in the clear.
      I then get possessed and chase that mf down. Turns out it was a girl, she teases me like "so what? what will you do?" and I go full "Kali Ma" on her (Indiana Jones ref) and plunge my hands in her chest ripping her organs out and then to finalize it, I intend to project flames from my mouth, like a dragon, but instead I project hot green vomit on her, like the possessed girl in the Exorcist.
      When things calm down a bit, I sit with Zilla, Vera and a couple other friends at some outdoor cafť to drink something and relax. There are familiar faces around from my school past. I hear some music that makes me smile. And Vera interprets that I am smiling because I saw a guy on the next table, she assumes I have a crush on. So she takes a photo of him with her cellphone and goes around telling everyone he is my crush. He actually is a guy who bullied me a lot in middle school, his nickname was "ass-bomb" because he once farted in the classroom or something.
      I am fully aware now and tired of silly games so I explain to her what I was smiling at and whom the guy is and decide to go for a walk and do something with my lucidity. The area is like a kasbah, very tight streets with earth-rammed houses and vendors' tents. I soak in the diversity while thinking what to do. I see a few more familiar faces from middle school, another couple bullies for whom I actually feel tenderness, not so much from what they did but just to see them as they were back then, kids who haven't aged. I find it precious that I still keep their faces stored in my memory. Then something odd happens.
      Superman falls from the sky onto some iron structure like the entrance to a train station or something. He seems to struggle to get on his feet, then he is attacked by what seems another superman who looks more like a super butch superwoman, way more muscular than the original, but with a female face. And she beats the shit out of him. Then comes an emo superman, very pale and skinny and scared. He doesn't really do anything, just watches, confused, I am also confused. I decide to fly up where they are, to watch it better and maybe help the real superman, I don't know. But they kinda stop fighting and look at me surprised, like "and who the hell are you?". I feel like they now might pick a fight with me, so I just let go and fly away and let them sort it out.

      I keep flying but now I am actually on a plane over Florida. Instead of landing in the airport, it lands on water but not as an accident, apparently it is an hydroplane. The sky is so bright blue, no clouds, sun is shining bright, wonderful weather and beautiful light. When we land on the water, people are then taken to some water taxis and escorted by jet skis who are there as a backup (they have rafts for taking in people if necessary). I find it a bit too much of a precaution, but I am impressed with the organization. Some kid is looking at me and I smile at him. Most people are families with kids and I feel they are going to Disney World.

      Updated 03-20-2021 at 11:50 AM by 34880

      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid , nightmare
    9. 16 Mar: Gore nightmares of genocide and demonic possession

      by , 03-16-2021 at 09:05 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      At some African small village. Some white man is rounding up black and white children to burn them alive. Nobody stops him, as if afraid of the consequences and I don't get it, because all I see is one man. When he lights the fire, I scream in horror and decide it's worth risking my life to fight for the children. I first throw rocks at the guy and hit him in the head. He falls on the ground and I beat the shit out of him, break his arm and try to strangle him. I am really possessed and ripping the guy apart. The villagers use the chance to put out the fire and save the kids. A black female police arrives and asks me to stop beating the guy, so she can take him into custody. Then I am lauded as an hero and invited to some big music event. The band playing sounds a bit like AC/DC. There is then an after party and I come with Riverstone. Someone complains he wasn't invited and I yell at them that he is the reason I am still alive (don't know why).

      At my teenage room at my mom's house, but different, because it is on ground level. Some dude breaks in my window and I think he wants kill me, but then he just grooms me and seduces me and I feel like he wants to abuse me. Riverstone is in the house somewhere and the guy is alerted by the noises of his presence, so I use the opportunity to claim my boyfriend is coming. The guy gives up his intents and prepares to leave, but lets me know that he will return. So I lock and glue the windows shut. (So Riverstone did save me, but in a future dream. Odd.)
      The stalked does not come back to my house, instead he causes a fake fire at my high school, to make everyone come out and then kinda kidnaps me. When he does so, I detach from my own body and see myself as a young blonde teen girl. He says something to her ears and she is bewitched. Next time he comes, she actually is longing for him and she kisses him in front of the school colleagues. Since he is an older man in his 30s, all kids and teachers present react in shock and she looks at them like she couldn't care less and finds them all pitiful. Later she is with teachers and colleagues at a workshop where they have some practical crafting lessons. The creepy guy is there too, at first just like a ghost. He possesses or hypnotizes a teacher that throws himself at a rotating saw, cutting himself in half and splashing blood and guts everywhere. Everyone is horrified and then the guy materializes, looking devilish. Now is obvious to me that he is a demon. He grabs the dead teacher's heart and gives it to the girl for her to eat it. She somehow is now fully naked and covered in blood and everyone else runs away. But I confront him. I want to stop him. And now he wants to kill me. He traps me in some kind of mental maze, the space around me transforms so that I can't get out of it. One room leads to an identical one and he is always there. There is no escaping. At first he just taunts me and I get a knife and slit his throat every time I see him, but he just appears in the next room and the next. Then I try to kill one of his manifestations by stabbing him repeatedly and slitting his throat while repeating like a mantra "in the name of the father, the son and the holy spirit". I don't know why, because I am a buddhist. He seems to lose some strength and not be able to fight back. Then I kill another one and chop him into pieces and stab and slice each organ including the heart and as a result it opens an horizontal slit on a wall, to escape this place and go back to the "real world". I repeat the prayer even more intensely and feel like I conjure the Holy Spirit as a gush of wind comes through the slit and pushes through the space behind me, as if to blow the demon away from me. Once outside, there is a stairway and as I climb it, I also get the power to multiply into endless manifestations, so I am ready to face the demon if he comes after me. Strangely enough, those manifestations are all dressed up as the Daredevil or some kind of Power Ranger type of suit in dark red and blue tones.
    10. Car dream where mom was really controlling and snippy

      by , 02-04-2021 at 05:10 AM
      I had the car dream set at granddads house again last night for the second night in a row. Like the dream I had the night before, it was really physically and emotionally uncomfortable. In the dream last night, mom was also really snippy and controlling.

      When mom told me to go ahead and get in granddads car and buckle to the front middle seat, as soon as I tried to argue about sitting in the middle and getting in the car before she was ready to go she snapped at me and told me that I could either get in the car and buckle in the middle of the front seat or I would be grounded.

      When mom finally got in the car and was trying to get it started after my sister and I had to wait for her for what felt like forever, she kept getting in my face and telling me that I needed to calm down. I never even said anything to her before she started telling me to calm down.

      When she discovered I stepped in dog poop, she screamed at me about not watching where I was stepping and not checking my shoe when I noticed the car stunk. She told me to give her my shoe so she could clean it and for me to stay buckled in my seat.

      After the battery went dead after she got back in, as I was asking if I could get out she snapped at me again and told me that me and my sister needed to stay in the car. I woke-up from the dream while she was looking for a jump start.

      Not sure why she was so snippy and controlling in this dream, but it made me fell even more uncomfortable.
    11. Another night with the new car dream

      by , 01-26-2021 at 04:40 AM
      I had the car dream that I have started having again last night. The things I remember most from last nights dream were arguing with mom when she told me to go get in the car and when the car had the dead battery.

      When mom told me to get in the car and buckle-up in the middle, I first tried to argue about sitting in the middle trying to explain to mom that my sister could handle the middle better than me since she was younger/shorter/smaller than me but mom snapped at me that is was my sisters day to choose her seat today and that I got to have the font seat in her car yesterday and would get to choose my seat again tomorrow. When I then tried to explain that it would be really embarrassing for me to have to ride between them she told me that was the craziest thing she had ever heard and that she was sure no-one would noticed how we were seated.

      I then tried to talk mom into letting me and my sister go to the park that was a few blocks away rather than waiting in the car for her. I tried to convince her that this would be a better idea and that she could just come to the park and pick us up whenever she was done at granddads. She told me that she didn't think this was a good idea because she wasn't sure how much longer before she would be done and that the park was not on our way home. I kept trying to convince her to let us go to the park until she finally got tired of hearing it and got in my face and reminded me that she was in charge and that I was to get in granddads car and buckle-up in the middle seat now. She said she couldn't understand why I was making such a big deal about riding in the middle and waiting in the car, but that I needed to get a better attitude. I then went out and got in the car.

      While waiting with my sister, I remember she kept wanting for us to talk about granddad and share our feelings about him being sick and in the nursing home. I kept trying to get her to talk about something else, but this was all she wanted to talk about and the kept brining it up again whenever I tried to change the subject and kept trying to get me to share my feelings which I did not want to do.

      Once mom finally got in the car, I remember she was really snippy when she discovered the car had cut off when she tried to put it in gear. When I tried to keep telling her I thought the car was in drive and needed to be put in park in order for it to start, she would snap at me and get in my face and tell me to calm down, that she was doing the best she could. I kept trying to tell her this is why nothing was happening when she turned the key, but this just made her more frustrated and she ignored what I was trying to tell her.

      When the battery went dead after mom discovered the car was out of gear and tried to start it once she put it in park. I kept trying to talk her into letting me and my sister get out of the car while she looked for a jump start. I woke-up from this dream while mom was in my face telling me that she was in charge and that me and my sister were to stay buckled-up in the car. She was making it clear that I would not like what would happen if I did not do what she wanted me to do.

      In this dream, I really felt a lack of control as no matter what I tried to suggest or ask for I was stuck buckled to the middle of the front seat of granddads car.
    12. New vivid/recurring dream where I am riding between my sister and mom in granddads old car

      by , 01-24-2021 at 05:43 PM
      Over the last week, I have had some new vivid dreams involving me riding in granddads reliant with my mom and my sister. These dreams are different than the ones I was having last year as these are set at granddads house after he had to go to a nursing home and mom was trying to get his house ready to sell. These take place when I was 14 years old, about a year before the dreams I was having last year which were set in my parentís driveway the spring after granddad died. Like the earlier dreams these appear to be a stuck dream that always follows the same chain of events.

      The dreams I have had so far start with me playing in the backyard of granddads house. The yard looks just like I remember it looking when he had to go to the nursing home. Everything looked really overgrown and unkept rather than perfectly manicured since he had been too sick to keep up with it for a while.

      Eventually mom walks out of granddads back door and calls for me and tells me I to go ahead an get in granddads reliant. I ask why we are taking the reliant home since I thought Dad was picking us up, and she said he has a meeting and she had been wanting to move the reliant to our house anyway. I asked her how we could all fit in the reliant since she had the back seat loaded full of stuff and she reminded me it could fit 3 in the front seat and told me I was riding in the middle since it was my sister day to choose her seat and she wanted to be by the window. I asked if I could keep playing in the yard until she and my sister were ready to go and she snapped at me that she needed us out of her way for a little while and wanted me in the car NOW. That my sister would be right behind me and I needed to get in first since I was in the middle.

      As I walk towards the car, mom reminds me to buckle-up. I then walk through the front yead to the tan reliant that was covered in pollen and parked on the street in front of granddads house. I open the passenger side door and the sat down on the tan vinyl bench seat and then close the passenger side door and slide over to the middle seat and fasten the tan lap belt around my waist.

      As I sit in the car, I noticed that something really sinks but figure itís either all of the stuff that mom had loaded into the back seat or that the car had been sitting for several weeks. It is really in pleasant waiting in the car, in addition to the unpleasant odor itís really uncomfortable in the middle because the lap belt was snugly against my hips and my feet were stuck on the bump in the middle and my knees were bumping the a/c controls. I am mad mom is making me ride there since my sister is smaller than me and could get by better with less room.

      After I had been waiting for a few minutes, my sister is walking down granddads front walk towards the car. She had the same hairstyle I remember her having at that time when she was 10 years old and is always wearing a pink dress and tan sandals she liked to wear back then. She opens the passenger side door and then sits down in the passenger seat then closes the door and buckles her seat belt. Itís even more uncomfortable waiting with her in the car, because her body was now pressed against mine.

      We then have to spend what seemed like forever in the car waiting for mom to come-out. It seems like we have to wait a lot longer than we did in the dreams I was having last year at it was probably around 45 minutes to possibly an hour and is really unpleasant. While we sit and wait my sister always alternates talking about how bad the car smells and accuses me of tooting; rubbing it in that she got to choose the window seat and I was stuck in the middle; and wanting talk about how she fells about granddad being sick and dying and trying to get me to share my feelings on it. I try to change the subject whenever she talks about granddad, because it was too upsetting for me to think about or discuss but she just keeps bring it up again and again. She also keeps putting her head on my shoulder and smiling in my face while stretching her feet onto the glove box. I am super bored waiting for mom and kept focusing on my sisters sandals being the same color tan as the floor matts and glove box and blending in with them; the reflection of me and my sister on the windshield and passenger side window an how embarrassed it makes me feel that I was so much taller than her yet she is by the window and I am in the middle; and people walking their dogs down the street and hoping none of them saw me and my sister waiting in the car and noticed the embarrassing seating arrangement.

      Finally, after what seemed like FOREVER, my sister says ďI see mommy comingĒ and then turned my head to see mom locking the front door of granddads house and then walking around the back of the car to put something in the trunk. She closes the truck and then goes to talk to someone across the street from us. Eventually she unlocks the driver side door and then sits down in the driver seat on my left. I feel her body pressed against mine as she put the key in the ignition and then reaches behind me to put her purse in the back seat. I heard the annoying buzzing sound until she closes the driver side door. I felt really squished between my mom and sister with both of them rubbing against me.

      Mom thens turn the key to start the car but it doesnít want to start-up and after each failed crank there is the annoying buzzing sound and red lights on the dash. I get really uncomfortable being stuck between my mom and sister while mom keeps trying to start the car and it becomes obvious it is going to take a while. I start asking mom if I can get out. She just ignores me until eventually, she snapps at me and gets in my face and screams at me that I need to calm down; that she is doing the best she could; that if it wonít start itís not a big deal because dad could pick us up on his way home; and that I WILL stay buckled in my seat until she tells me I can get out.

      After she turns her attention back to trying to get the car started, she also notices that something really stinks in the car. My sister tells her that I have been pooting and I try to explain that it smelled before I got in. Mom says it smells like poo to her and tells me to check my shoes. I check them and discover I stepped in something. I ask my sister to let me out so I can clean them, but mom gets in my face and yells at me about stepping in poo and tells me to give it to her and she will clean it for me. I try to tell her I would rather get out and clean it myself so she can keep trying to start the car, but she snaps at me again and reminds me she is in charge and that she wants me to stay buckled in my seat. She is in my face telling me I need to calm down and have a better attitude when she gets back to the car as I take off my shoe and give it to her.

      She then gets out and closes me and my sister back in the car while she disappears back into granddads house with me shoe. As I sit and wait in the car with my sister, she is telling me how gross it is that I stepped in poo and is now just whining about how bad the car smells and asking me why I didnít check my shoes when I noticed something smelled before she even got it. I have to listen to this until we see mom walking back towards the car.

      When mom opens the driver side door, she hands me a wet paper towel and tell me to wipe down the bump I had my feet on with it and then hands me my shoe she has cleaned after I give her the paper towel back. She then goes to put the paper towel in granddads trash can while I put my shoe back on.

      Soon she is opening the driver side door again and then sitting back down in the driver seat. She starts pumping on the accelerator and turning the key. After several more cranks with the car not starting and hearing the annoying buzzing sound and seeing the dash illuminated with red lights, mom is finally able to get the reliant started. My sister immediately leans in front of me to change the radio from an AM news station to her favorite FM station and then turns up the volume and starts singing along to the song on the radio while mom is leaning over me to adjust the rearview mirror and then the passenger side mirror. It is really uncomfortable having them both in my space and itís annoying having to hear my sister sing along to the radio.

      Once mom has everything adjusted, she pulls the shift lever to put the car in drive but nothing happens when she presses on the accelerator. She checks to make sure the parking brake is not on and then reaches in front of me and turns of the radio and discovers the car knocked off. She starts trying to turn the key, but nothing happens except the buzzing sound and red lights on the dash. I notice the car is still in park and try to tell mom, but she snaps at me that she is doing the best she can and I need to calm down so she can concentrate on starting the car.

      After several more cranks, she discovers that the car is out of gear like a tried to tell her earlier. She snaps at me again when I remind her I had tried to tell her earlier. She puts the car back in park and tries to get it started again. This time, the battery sounds weak and after a few cranks, the car just makes a rattling sound and the buzzing and red lights on the dash are fainter than they really are.

      I reach to undo my seat belt, but mom snaps at me again and tells me that she is going to see if one of granddads neighbors can give us a jump start and says she wants me and my sister to stay buckled in the car. I usually wake up from the dream either arguing with mom about her wanting me to stay buckled in the car of after she has gotten out to look for a jump start. I do not know if she is able to find a jump start or if it works and we are able to drive the reliant home.

      As these dreams have progressed I seem to be arguing with mom more about her wanting me to sit in the middle, wait in the car, and buckle-up when I get in. When I try to argue with her, she just gets angry and more assertive that she is in control/in charge and that I am to do what she says. So far, my arguing has not worked as mom always makes me go and get in the middle seat and buckle-up.

      I am also trying to get more assertive about trying to get mom to let me out of the car when she is having trouble starting it, when she discovers I stepped in dog poop, and when the batter dies. However, this just makes her angry and she doubles down on her being in charge and that I am to stay buckled in my seat.

      In these new dreams, I find riding in the middle much more uncomfortable both physically and emotionally than I did in the dreams I had last winter. In those dreams, it was like I was along for the ride and in these dreams I want to be anywhere other than riding in the middle of the front seat of granddads reliant. I feel physically uncomfortable because of the seatbelt fitting snug on my hips; my feet being stuck on the hump; my knees bumping again the a/c controls; and my sister and then mom being pressed-up against me. I feel emotionally uncomfortable because I find it really embarrassing that I am in the middle riding between my mom and my younger/shorter/smaller sister. It also makes me fell really uncomfortable being squished between them and not having any personal space.

      If this dream keeps happening, I will try to start journaling changes I notice each time I have it to see if it starts moving in some other direction.
    13. Playing sports, going by car, lucid, scary.

      by , 01-19-2021 at 09:15 AM (DJ of lucid goals and how it goes)
      I'm in some sort of training centre. I play some racket sport that is similar to tennis and squash. Every time I try to hit the ball I'm worthless. I have almost no power and no accuracy. I played against Gabriel but I go to the bench instead. Albin and Andrť is there. New fragment. I'm in a car with Gabriel. My sister is there and she talks about some kind of roleplaying game and I wish that I could have a better guide. We drop Gabriel off but notice that he forgot his phone in the car. I take it up and inspect it. It is white and the front screen is in good shape and clean. The back is really dirty and worn out. The phone is half touch and half buttons. When I click on the button in the top right corner the password is shown. My sister gasps out loud because she is disappointed in Gabriel's security. New fragment. I'm in our inner yard and about to walk in. I feel a bit off and wonder if it is a dream. I do my RC but it doesn't work at first. I think about how I came here and figure out that I don't remember how I ended up here. I try to lift off and fly away but I can't. I try to climb the big door to the outside but do not succeed at first. I am able to climb it the third time. I am about to jump in order to fly away but the door falls apart and I fall to the ground before lift off. I start to walk to the left and see some people. I see Sweden's king Carl XVI Gustaf walking past a corner. I get a bad feeling and walk a bit faster. I see Ed and he is avoiding me. The king is getting close up on me and I am getting more scared. I start to run and I am able to fly away this time. It's not pleasant since I am flying for my life. Ed comes back to me and I feel his bad intentions. He tells me to follow him. We are closing up on our destination and I hear someone scream. I think that It is a copy of myself that is screaming. When I finally see the scene I'm terrified and start to scream and cry. I see myself holding in a blood covered saw against a copy of a defenseless Ed kneeling down in front of the copy of me and holding his arms against the copy of me, trying to protect himself.
    14. horrible recall.

      by , 01-04-2021 at 09:17 PM (MoSh's DJ: The Best Dream Journal in The Universe.)
      House.

      Me and Jamie are attacked by something outside my inner world house. I remember sharp tendrils going into my abdomen while me and her are laying on the ground.

      aunt

      A dream my aunt was mad at me about something. I kept trying to fix what she was mad about but she got meaner..
      Tags: aunt, jamie
      Categories
      non-lucid , nightmare , side notes
    15. a couple lucids. (I think)

      by , 12-07-2020 at 08:28 PM (MoSh's DJ: The Best Dream Journal in The Universe.)
      Big giant house

      I was in something like mansion. In something like a hallway, I stepped into a bedroom that had a lot of things in it. There was a bed and things all over the place. A keyboard started playing by itself, in just a couple of notes for a few seconds. It did this by itself. I went out of the room and found a long winding staircase. On the main level i walked through a few giant living rooms with old architecture. I found another staircase. But right beside the stairs a panel in the wall was missing. i saw my childhood friend Gary , his brother and a few other people sitting on a couch. I went down a few more steps into the room. Gary seemed annoyed that I was there but some older guy was telling me about the house and that it was haunted.

      I said, "Yeah the keyboard upstairs plays by itself." He agreed with me. Several of us left the room. I went back up to the main level. I saw a winding staircase leading upstairs and I was trying to figure out the actual layout of the place. I found yet another large living room this time with 3 pianos. I was going to play one of them when i woke up.

      House party.

      I was hearing the Dark Tower audio throughout this dream. I'm on Wolves now, Now narrated by some old guy who butchers songs... I was in a living room with Manvi from work. I think she said she was having guests over. Something was spilled all over her table which was in front of a large TV. We both tried desperately to clean it up. After it was clean i sat beside her on the couch to watch TV. i think she was a little nervous because it was me and her. As if the dream responded to her nervousness suddenly her guests were there. There was a guy who was hearing the audiobook audio and asked if it was the Dark Tower. I said yes, and was going to have a conversation with him until i woke up.


      Lucid

      I was trapped in a house with some psycho guy. He had me in some traps like the movie SAW. He had a wife that told me I was a better fuck than her husband.. and i also have false memories of that act... Anyway they leave the room. I become lucid when i float up out of the traps. I fly up and intend a hole in the floor. I lower into another room. and for a while, I keep floating through more holes in more rooms. Kind of like those lucids where you are in a house and you keep finding hidden rooms and basements inside more rooms and basements and it an go on a long as the lucid. Eventually i wanted outside. I wanted to look for Jamie. I saw a house and went inside. My memory got really foggy and sped up. I found jamie, or a DC that looked like her and i remember feeling the desire to sleep with her. Not sure if we did.

      either than that no jamie dreams. not sure if the lucid was her. I hope i get Jamie dreams regularly Like I use to.
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