jellybeanrains

i'm watching a girl's story. there is a gas station on the street. she steals a car? or parks it wrongly in the median. something falls apart--- finally her cheating and her lying caches up with her and the truth is revealed. we learn the truth, she was not supposed to have her car there, probably not supposed to have that car at all. she was selling things from it and making her way, as a ticking time bomb. you could tell she was resigned to her fate, just trying to manage while she could. maybe she had also retended to be a teacher, and all the deception ws being revealed. i think it was only revealed when she died on that street.
i'm with a group of people. watching the story unfold. this other girl has a family. two families come together. something terrible had happened in the past to her family. they had all been murdered by the Dothraki....the new family she was becoming a part of brought her in under their wind to comfort her, to be her new family, and to also honor the pain she came from and to bring some sort of retribution to the past pain and injustice.




Comments: i have watched the Game of Thrones series a ton and read the books, so family, honor and death are parts of that, as well as the Dothraki, the feeling of having a clan, and the loyalty of family.
I am currently with a new baby. At this time of my life, I have reconnected with my mother, grandmother and brother SO much, and have been considering their role in my life, and mine in theirs... how much i really want to be part of their lives, and have them in mine. in one way, it's so nice to feel lke a tight knit family again...and also, it is very unsustainable, and i woke up thinking about how everyone could dies very soon...my grandma is 92 and could go any day. my mother is 65, so she will only see this baby to 20 or 30 years old, at the max. and my brother is very sick, and i don't know if he's gonna start getting better and live a long life, or if he will give up on this round. so, i could be without this clan very soon.

maybe this dream is about me losing my family and having a new one take me in. but it almost feels like the new people taking me in could represent my blood family, because they are taking such good care of me right now, when i feel like i can barely take care of myself, let alone a new life.
it could mean to really appreciate family, and to have loyalty to them while i am part of them. to remember to appreciate them while i have them, because they are mine and i am theirs and we won't be around forvever. but also, i can trust that no matter what the next chapter it, and whatever pain i suffer losing my family, i will have a new life, a new family and be held and have my life continue to be supported by community and tribe.