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    A World In My Head!!

    Artist Without A Roof

    by , 08-03-2013 at 05:56 AM (451 Views)
    August 2, 2013

    recap: ny, train ride, waiting for mom, phone call, night time, baggage, arrive in morning, austin, art show in industrial area, amazing paintings, paint door, no where to sleep, freaking out, call D, no help, call mom, no help, hyperventilate

    notes: night before my cycle, didnt sleep well

    Artist Without a Roof
    Its a late night some where in NY, I'm talking to mom on the cell phone. She promises she'll take a flight and meet me soon, but she can't stay. She'll be flying back the same day. As we talk about the travel arrangements I'm trying to make sense of it. The time frames, the location, doesnt make any sense.

    As mom instructed, I get ready to take the train for the next city - Austin, TX. In the dream NY and Austin were sister cities, sitting next to each other. At first I decided to leave my bags behind and that I'll pick them up after mom gets here. Wait, that literally makes no sense. Then I'll have to do two trips, waste time, waste money and who would watch over my bags?

    Nevermind, I grab my bags and hop on the train. Its filled with other excited artists. We arrive at our destination, its magically day time.

    A lady shows me around the austin gallery. It's a bunch of portables and other industrial type spaces turned into on-the-spot galleries. She showed me which one was mine. Just this ugly white metal building. But when she opens the door my heart skips a beat. It's filled with my paintings and 'new' paintings I've yet to make.

    My own gallery space...My own gallery space..It was perfect! Just perfect! I literally broke into tears!

    She quickly reminds me that the opening is tomorrow and that I'm running out of time to paint my door..Paint my door? I look around and see that all the other artists have graffiti'd their doors. !! I need to paint my door too!

    But wait, I have no paint supplies? I gotta go to the store. But wait, I don't have a car? No wait, I don't even have money?

    Then it dawns on me, I don't even have a hotel room yet!! Think think think. I call up D. At first the conversation was nice. 'D, were near each other! Come see my gallery tomorrow!'. D is further north than NY - but I'm in austin. The location weirdness starts to confuse me. Either way D sounds happy and agrees to see my gallery.

    I change the subject 'I need a place to stay tonight. I'm near your parents right? Can I stay there tonight?' The phone goes silent. I start to beg 'I don't have a hotel room or any money, its just one night!'. The phone is still silent. I take a look. Either D hung up on me or the phone cut off.

    What do I do? What do I do?

    I call up mom, but she's not answering. I keep trying, the phone isn't going through. Now it feels like my whole world is falling apart. My door isn't painted. I'm running out of time. I dont know any of these artists! I don't have a place to stay tonight! What will happen? What will happen? If I go to a motel, my God I could be raped!

    I start to hyperventilate - and then I wake up. I felt miserable for hours.

    After thoughts:
    a lot of meaning in this dream considering the artsy events going on in my life now. The joy of the gallery space, the lack of a painted door (advertising) and all that lack of security and poor artist syndrome - yeah im feeling it

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    Updated 08-03-2013 at 05:59 AM by 6004

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    Comments

    1. Sjagy's Avatar
      Talk about living a dream I'd treat you to a nice big cup of reality checks