(Remember, blue is a dream. Red is a lucid Dream. Bold Red is a significant event in a lucid dream, and normal font color is simply commentary.) What started out as a video game where me and a friend or two were controlling our characters turned to us being IN the video game. (I don’t remember the transition.) We were beating the piss out of a large creature that reminds me (after the fact), of JENOVA Absolute. When it got near death (Wee could see it's life bar), me, and two other friends (I can’t remember who now, but I’m pretty sure my brother Ben was one of them), realized it was powering up for a very strong attack…. A water/flood like attack. This attack took forever to charge, but while this creature was powering up for it, he left the battle area. It dawned on me that his attack was going to flood the whole damn area and be an insta-kill, so I shouted to the other two that we quickly had to scale the cliff were fighting next to (there were ledges), and reach the top before it was too late. There were a series of platforms sticking out from the side of a waterfall like area that we managed to scale just in time for this creature to blast his attack, which missed us with a giant water wave. After the attack, I leapt down onto the battle field again and attempted to use my special move to finish the creature in style… and missed. xD (It was a mid air attack that when executed would send multiple waves of energy right below me, but I jumped a little *too* high above the creautre when I used it. xD) shortly thereafter, we defeated it, but I don’t remember how we finished it off. Prior to this ultimate attack, this creature was a cinch to fry. I have other not-so expressible blips from this dream…but the next thing I really remember... I think I was at some sort of entertainment park. Shortly thereafter I found my self bowling with some friends. There were 4 of us bowling and only three lanes we were using…so we were sort of taking turns. I remember when it was my turn the first time, I just couldn’t get the damn bowling ball to roll down the lane! Every time I tried to throw it it would get stuck to my fingers! I even had a nameless friend attempt to coach me in order to help me learn how to throw it (In real life it's not like I don't know how to bowl…) but it didn’t seem to help. I couldn’t get the ball thrown. It dawned on me a few moments later I was trying to use a left handed ball and I was right handed. (In the dream, the finger sockets were reversed, and the awkwardness of the release was whhat was causing the problem for me.) I decided to look for a new bowling ball, and spent the next 5 minutes or so doing just that. At one point I remembered my love for the color red, and searched for a red ball. but couldn’t see anything that truly appealed to me in that color. The ball I finally settled on was the best I could find, but it didn’t satisfy me. The holes were in the right order, but they were still slightly too small for my fingers to fit comfortably. Still, when I heard it was almost my turn I ran around a corner, (past a DDR machine), and toward my lane with my ball. Before I had a chance to throw it, I woke up. I also remember during the course of searching that there was a series of alien bowlong balls, which looked like a stereotypical alien head with the eye sockets and mouth being the finger holes. I marveled at how cool they were, but wondered why the hell they even existed, as they weren’t spherical and could never roll down a lane. I woke up around 5:10 to write that and went back to sleep around 5:35 I was lying in bed consciously, I had tossed and turned a few times in order to get confortable… the bigger problem I think was the fact it was so god damn cold! It made it hard to focus on my meditation/falling asleep in order to WILD (Wake Induced Lucid Dream), and I wound up not being able to START in my favorite meditative stance! (face up, hands to the side, lying down on the bed) I was more.. in the fetal position under two covers… kind of wishing I had socks on, not wanting to move. xD I wound up on my stomach, my head turned to the side. I was drifting off. I felt a “tugging” sensation near where were my legs were. It felt like someone was trying to pull the covers off of my bed! In my half delerious state, I wondered if there were any animals in the room tugging on the covers! (Tee hee, silly Brian!), The next thing I knew my "feet" were disconnected from my body and suspended in the air! And then… the rest of my body was in darkness and I wasn’t in the physical any more… something… some ONE… pulled me out. At least that's what it felt like. I floated in darkness with someone else that I could feel. I don’t remember hearing a voice, nor did I say anything for fear of messing up the experience like I did last time when the words came out of my physical mouth. I just… floated with this being. Feeling safe and comforted, we were holding each other. I remember thinking… “If only I could look at their face!” But I couldn't see... anything. I slipped into a lucid dream some point these sensations became faded (It must have all lasted about 30 seconds), and I found my self falling into a tunnel or sorts… downward. All I remember after this fact is a television was on, and I was in a room talking with the girl I adore. (Who shall remain nameless in all of my entries, but just so no one asks... no... it's not my ex-Wife.) We had a conversation about some things. Again, I can’t remember hardly ANY of the words that were exchanged. I remember feeling the typical “hot/cold” sensation from her… as if she both wanted to be near me and that being near me brought her all kinds of bittersweet memories. I DO remember the last thing I said to her because of a warm comment she made to me. I remember saying to her, “Heh… it’s still kind of love/hate, isn’t it?” And she said something like, “Heh… yeah.” But after that, (she was next to me), she rested her head in my lap and I just sat there, stroking her head and her hair gently. I was thinking about how gentle I wanted to be with her, and how much I care about her. One other thing I realized in my dream was that it’s awfully hard for me to visualze faces accurately… even for the people I know that are very close to me. My visualizations have never been my strong point, but eyes deceive anyway. I shouldn’t be so caught up in physical appearances in my dreams. Feeling things out is so much more important. I’m stunned at the tugging sensation I experienced. I’ve never experience anything like that before. I was only halfway out of the physical when that happened. I woke up. It was about 7:00 AM... right around the end of twilight. -K
I find it very interesting that the moment I decided to dedicate my waking life to the understanding of my dreams and my subconscious, I began to dream... a whole lot more. I mean, sure... the marijuana detox probably has something to do with it as well, (7 days and counting), but it's honestly been YEARS... long before I started smoking weed... that I have dreamed this much. On top of that, simply dedicating my self to the art of dreaming has increased my lucidity as well. In these 7 days alone, my dream recall and control has made exponential progress. I'm already lucid dreaming practically every night at some point (the ability to realize you are dreaming and control your dream), and by virtue of the same token, I've started waking up in the middle of the night and falling back asleep... consciously. These experiences are among some of the most memorable and interesting... when they don't slip away from my memory as quickly as they came. This is one of the reasons I've gotten so serious about writing everything down. Not only do I want to remember my dreams, but I want to show my subconscious/Higher Self that I'm finally serious about understanding all the parts of me I don't yet. I'm not afraid of me. I rarely have nightmares. The last true nightmare I can remember having was at age 12. (I have had several out of body experiences as a teenager that scared the SHIT out of me because I didn't understand what was happening, but I don't count those as nightmares.) I do occasionally have moments of fear in my dreams. When they occur, I tend to confront the challenge quickly and not run from it (last night, for example, I had to deal with a snake and a wolf. I wound up severing the heads of both creatures.) ... I don't like experiencing lingering fear in my dreams because I know all it will do is hold my mind back. In a sense, I guess you could say I've been doing a lot of work at mastering my dreams over 25 years of life...whether consciously or not. I've just finally gotten serious about taking it to the next level and becoming a conscious, active part of this process. Nothing interests me more than the workings of my mind at night. I think there are great mysteries to life that can be unlocked in the dream world and beyond, and I find it kind of interesting that so many people just take the 1/3 of their life they spend in other states of consciousness for granted. This journal will be dedicated to the pursuit of... understanding and exploring my dreams, and their connection to my waking life and my Self. My comments will appear in BLACK. My dreams will appear in BLUE. When I become lucid and an active, conscious participant in a dream, I shall use the color RED. Nothing beats realizing you're dreaming and becoming God-like in your personal world. If I am led to believe that my experience may have been more than a dream, or if something in my dream world is incredibly vivid or important to me, my RED will appear bold. I have a strong connection to the color red. The more vibrant, the more I resonate with it. Here is wishing you all pleasant dreams... and beyond!