dream fragment

I'm dreaming about the ocean, and I'm on a shore at nighttime with others across the beach. I have flat surfboard and I keep riding out on it a few feet into the water but as soon as i cant see the water beneath me i go back to the sand. I keep repeating this. I see LAbrsh surfing and trying to be cool. There's a random girl a few feet next to me. I get a text, it's from a number I don't recognize telling me "megan fay is murder" which was mistyped. I wait to authorize if this person meant 'fox' so I ask but before I can get a reply Labrsh pulls out his phone and says it. The girl me and him don't believe it and turn to our left and tell a group of people. There in college it seems. We ask for a tv in some dorms. Across the shoreline down west of the beach are dorms that spread down. one guy says yes and we race down the shore and inside a dorm. Labrsh says dont follow me and i say im not im just running beside. we get in and we immediately see a large glass window, like looking into a store window full of tvs and it's true. Megan Fox was murdered in her room and before she was she made a tape. In this tape she is making flowers with cake icing on something and shes saying shes sorry to movie producers and friends that she has to miss filiming to mourn for her passed father or something.
i leave back to the beach but first i cant find my way. i bump into someone im arguing my point against that megan fox is similar to marilyn monroe. but she disagrees. when i get to the beach, there are a bunch of people fucking and i fuck a college chick and then people start getting mad after i pull out, and we appear walking into a building, and into a gym where all the girls are dressed now stretching in a circle, and the boys are on the side about to run. i quick get dressed so i can run too.

Earlier dream:

I'm in New York with Laura. I don't remember how we got there - by train I think. My house is still in NY, but it's really different. We go outside and there are some kids with posters and Matt Brst is there, it's for the boxer rebellion thing i got in the email. Theyre going to set the flyers up all around town and this makes me mad because i want to beat them at it. At some point me and laura are in my kitchen snuggling and talking. then im back in milwaukee trying to print those flyers so i can go back to NY and beat them, but i keep running into problems and wake up.

I see my grandpa in my dream. We go to their apartment, and he's still alive. He looks youthful and young. I get the vibe that they think we don't want to be there and that we don't like coming to see them. My mom has brought cookies, and I give them to grandpa. I turn around to walk back to sit down somewhere and i say "theyre chocolate chip" but he yells at me and says "these arent chocolate chip these are .." and i cant remember what they said. it was like oatmeal nut or something. But then i play it off like i knew that and the chocolate chip cookies appear next to them. My mom and them are talking about the importance of god and the bible, but my grandpa doesnt say anything about it. There is a loud meowing and I go open the door, which leads to a mirror image of their balcony, and it is raining and the cat looks like JWB but someone tells me its a neighbors cat. I let it in and it runs over the the windowpane of the real balcony but it doesnt get out and runs back to the other one and falls down the balcony to another floor. but its okay and keeps meowing. All I keep thinking is how much that cat must hate the rain.

July 19th, 2010

It's 2:05 AM, and I have gone to bed to sleep.

Its 3:29 AM and I have awoken, my dream not being lucid or controlled, but mostly remembered.

I don't know how I've gotten here, it's somewhere with my friends who I will call Jorge, B, Ricardo and my brother ehalv.

At first we all rush into a white van, which belongs to the "Crips". We discover somehow that crip means "blue". We are all pretty shocked by this for some reason. We hop into the van in a rush. Why we entered the van with no precaution in it being owned by a gang, I don't know. A lingering sense that we we're running away exists. I get in last, already stuffing myself into the car. The first person I see is Ricardo in the front passenger seat. Wether he was there all along or not I don't know. He's asking me if the mosh pit was awesome, and then tells me it was. I shake my head yes. Someone appears to get in the car but we have already begun driving. We're in a hurry. I look behind me, only one kid sits on the left, alone. I notice the kid beside me attempt to hop back to fill the remaining seat and free room in this row. At this time, something out the front window catches my eye and I notice the driver has been distracted. He has veered off course, to his left a little, missing a right hand turn, over a curb and next to a playground. At this point I say "Hell no--AW HELLLL NO! He's on the playground! He missed the turn were on the grass!" and I say a little more, but I can't remember. Everyone laughs at the idea of me saying that in this situation, where I also began in turn giggling. We leave the car at this time, still laughing, someone repeats what I've said. In front of the car to the right is the playground, and several feet ahead of it there are dips, hills petruding in the grass going downward. Almost like giant stairs of grass. The driver says it's okay and that this is where we're supposed to be. I say aloud "It's all good unless the boys come!", or something along the lines. Not seconds later does gunfire erupt behind us. I sense bullets flying past me, as if they were raindrops falling sideways. We hurry to get into the van.

I've woken up.
A flash of a letter written to me on paper or a social networking site says "you used to scare me years ago but ever since i got a ...(taste*) i've wanted another ..." This is all I remember. It is from, who I will call, Rose.

Regret fills my head, as does guilt, for not remembering the rest of the letter, or other important information and other parts of dreams I may have fell into. Although I feel regret, I think it is falsely diagnosed to an event that has never occured before, and in being so, couldn't have affected my social, or in any case, daily life.

The dreams were not vivid. They were more of ideas that grew spontaneously, wildly and with ease, but never seemed to acheive full visual scope. At least, if I'm remembering correctly.

It is 4:06 AM and I return to bed to sleep. In my hand I hold an object. No larger than a chess piece, but considerably heavier.

It is 6:59 AM, I dreamt a little. I find it funny I remember less even though I was asleep for longer.
I hear commotion outside of my bed room. I end up in my breezeway facing outside at the door, I kneel down, I hear people yelling and talking. My friend Justin rides his bike into my backyard, he looks at me and says "I think I got a five", discreetly. He means five dollars. Suddenly they begin talking very loudly and my parents lights turn on, I tell them to keep it down. They panic and Justin hands me a gun. "We found a gun, a real gun, here" he says. I grab it and it feels heavy. Very heavy. I begin to panic as they leave, or dissapear but both are relative. I set it down beside some plants outside and walk back into the breezeway. Through the door in front of me, I see a group gathered. I exit the door back outside, this time into my front yard, and see my oldest brother surrounded by people asking him questions. He seems to have it under moderate control. I ask what it's all about. He says the dog got loose again. Standard procedure. I head inside, my dad is talking to someone about pizza, or food. I end up going downstairs to pee because someone is in the bathroom. A christian man follows me. He needs to pee and pees on the opposite side of the room. I end up not peeing at all and head back upstairs, with a handfull of bacon in my hands.

I'm awoken and the object I had held in my hand before falling asleep is laid side by side next to my phone on my bed. Seemed placed carefully, but I cannot remember doing so.