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I can only recall bits and pieces from this dream, I wish I could remember more. I was in Sequim, WA at my family's cabin. I invited several friends up with me, without informing my parents. It did not seem to be too much of an issue, though the place got fairly messy. One of the friends I invited was Meow Meow, with whom I held several intimate and engaging conversations. I felt a strong attraction to her. At a certain point, I decided to climb this gigantic tower that appeared in a nature reserve right in front of the cabin. It was very similar to the broadcasting tower in the 2022 film Fall. I managed to get the top, but as I reached the final ascension, my hands were badly cut or maybe bruised from the climb. I also became completely fatigued and was unable to summon the energy or will power to climb back down. I was stuck up there. The tower started swaying back and forth, and it became clear it would soon fall. I think I woke up before this happened.

This was not the first time I dreamt of Meow Meow. I sense a strong connection to her, but it could all very well just be in my head. She also became known as "The Girl who cried Celestial Body." I welcome her presence in my dreams, but also grow concerned at my budding fascination with her. Perhaps her existence, as it relates to me specifically, will be strictly reserved for my dreaming life.

A tragic dream befell me last night. The focal point seemed to be the death of my mother. I dreamt I was on the phone with her, and she was having trouble breathing. I did not know the reason for this, but it became clear that she was dying. Her death and aftermath lingered throughout the remainder of this dream. I had many conflicting emotions: a mix of profound sadness, bitterness, anger, resentment, and most of all confusion. It was an extremely vivid dream, unfortunately. The feeling of it was potent. I wish I had recorded this dream sooner, as there were many other factors at play that I cannot now recall. At a certain point, I believe I was also having breathing trouble in the dream (perhaps irl too while sleeping), and felt that I too would experience a similar fate to that of my mother's. I am not sure what to make of this dream. All I know is I want to speak to my mother soon and let her know I love her. I know there are a great many things relating to childhood trauma I have yet to address with both my parents. I have been feeling that it might be better to let our relationship stay amicable as it is now, and allow them to grow old believing they did a perfect job raising me. I believe they did their best of course, but I have things I would like to say to them, in an attempt to strengthen our relationship. But it would be hard... very hard to bring these things up. I believe I should probably talk to a therapist before having that conversation. I don't know if I would be able to handle more of these types of dreams...

Well, it's been a couple of years. I've found my way back to this forum, inevitably I suppose.

The dreams I've had over the past few weeks and months have mostly been either too nondescript or too non-memorable for me to derive any meaning from them. On another level, I also have had ones too horrific, in that I try to forget them immediately. These ones find me on nights in which i fall asleep in a state of higher sobriety than usual. If i've partaken in drink, I typically fall asleep with ease, and with no dreams. It's nice in a sense, but does not produce the wondrous dream state which I have come to crave recently.

Anyway, last night, the night of my 26th birthday, was the first time in a very long time I had a series of dreams which I felt were worth recording in some way. Not only were they incredibly vivid, but they seemed to touch me in a serious manner that was not to be ignored....

They could be seen as standard in that so very many things happened.. so many events and sequences with profound emotional impact on me, but i remember so little of the details. I'm sort of sad about that. But I do remember certain particular instances, and I will cling to those with everything I have.

The main instance was a sort of summer camp.. and so many of my family and friends and lovers were there. We were all there in harmony and happiness. It was so beautiful. I experienced none of the usual anxiety or fear that would normally plague that kind of scenario in real life.

I only remember one moment vividly, of many moments, that must have been the one meant to be remembered. I was sitting with a crowd of people, and next to me was Courtney, a friend from my youth who i had a big crush on in my adolescence. I was holding hands with her, feeling the warmth and comfort of her being. She was blonde and tall and lovely. All of us were watching Hana preform her song 'Cowgirl Bebop' (This is a real life song btw). Now, it's worth noting that in my dreams, I typically never experience pieces of art in their real life true form. However, this dream sequence was a rare exception. She preformed the song as it was exactly recorded. And I wept, as did Courtney and Hana, as did Hana's father, who oddly was also in attendance. It was truly a beautiful experience for me. I hold it up as one of the most cathartic dream experiences I've had so far. Everything just seemed so meaningful and harmonious.

The dream was also punctuated by a murder mystery situation. Initially, I was confident that I knew who the murderer was. And this person was eerily beside me the entire time, and there was certainly some tension between us. However, he was not the murderer. I then thought the murderer may have been me. But then occurred an instance in which I peered through a wall that had been blown through completely, destroyed by some kind of explosive. On the other side, I saw a diminishing flame, it may have been a tiki torch. For some reason, I then knew that I was not the murderer either. His identity was never revealed.

All in all, I'm looking forward to recording my dreams again. I don't know why, but it is important to me and my spiritual development. I experienced sleep paralysis upon waking about a week or so ago. It was horrible, being completely paralyzed while a sinister being loomed over me for I don't know how long, and i was unable to move or do anything about it, just cry in fear until i regained control of my body. I hope it never happens again, and I hope intentional dreaming, recording dreams, and perhaps even lucid dreaming, will prevent it.

I am in a parking lot with my friend. Several girls drive past us in a range rover type vehicle. One exits the vehicle and walks towards me, eventually embracing and kissing me. But the dream becomes like a video game to me. Nothing is quite real, but it's like a Virtual Reality simulation type thing. It's incredibly strange. I find myself spiraling upwards into some kind of cosmic space tornado. It is dark, and there is an underlying sexual theme about these occurrences, but it is neither good nor bad. I think it's just frustrating. Several other things happen in this dream. I imagine I am at my beach house again, and I get called into work, but I choose not to show up. I'm fearful about this, but I soon wake up.

I should've recorded this one right after waking up, as there was much more to it that I can't remember; only brief glimpses come to me now. I do remember my awakening from the dream, however, and as with many dreams I've had, I feel many new and disturbing feelings I don't think I've ever felt in real life. The feelings stayed with me for what seemed longer than usual. It is after dreams like this one that I crave to dream more and experience these new feelings, and subsequently, I don't have the dream I hope for for a long time. I really wish I could somehow better recall the feelings I have during these dreams. They are still kind of present when I wake up, but they fade soon, and I cannot remember exactly what they were. There are ways to record a great many things, but the true form of a particular feeling seems to be exempt from this.

It seems to me a rare occurrence that I remember an exact phrase uttered in a dream. This dream provided me with that occurrence. I'm in the back part of a nearby burger joint. There appears in front of me and my friend a large sort of cathedral of bathroom stalls and urinals. The place is unnecessarily large for a restaurant bathroom. We heard some cries coming from one of the stalls and assumed someone was getting raped. A big fat man walked out of the stall, and we assumed him to be the perpetrator. My friend knocked him out instantly. Later, I entered the bathroom again, but it was normal sized this time. I saw a jacket that I realized I had lost hanging on one of the stalls. I come out to our table and say to my friends, "They should rename the men's bathroom Josh's Jacket Depository." I later find myself in a quaint neighborhood looking once again for a bathroom. I find a little garden with a small greenhouse where I imagine I might find means of urinary relief. Instead I find a garbage can. I leave the garden, damaging things on the way out.

Another instance of this dream involved my old friend's house, where I see his little brother as much younger and smaller than he is in real life now. My older sister is here too. His dad offers me a Heineken, but first gives me a green lemon juice container as a joke. I respond to him by saying "What is this nonsense I see before me?" From here I find myself at my beach house, but as usual, everything is sort of discolored and distorted somehow. There are abnormally large cliffs on the beach, it is dark, and somewhat spacey.