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    Creatures of the Labyrinth

    Breatharian Spider

    by , 04-25-2018 at 09:31 PM (105 Views)
    The being I met was a gigantic spider. His body was a lime-green sphere, with one eye and a jagged mouth. He had eight spindly brown legs extending from his body, and wore a crumpled purple top hat. He introduces himself as "the Wisest Spider", though it is questionable at best if the things that come out of his mouth constitute "wisdom".

    The Wisest Spider has a long list of opinions on what behaviors a "True Spider" will or will not engage in, brushing aside any concerns that this might be a "No True Scotsman Fallacy" by simply not acknowledging that the concern was even raised.

    The Wisest Spider continues to peddle his questionable wisdoms in his advocacy for the Breatharian lifestyle. That is, a lifestyle that eschews eating and drinking entirely, claiming the body doesn't actually need food to function. The Wisest Spider is himself a Breatharian, never eating or drinking, and attests that this is the "healthiest lifestyle".

    Except, of course, on his "cheat days", in which he eats ("for purely recreational reasons" he assures us). It's not that he needs to eat, he just wants to some times, because he likes to taste things. These cheat days are, well, every other day. Attempts to argue to the Wisest Spider that his lifestyle isn't "Breatharianism" but merely "intermittent fasting" do not appear to work. He is adamant that he is practicing a "Breatharian" lifestyle, and besides, he likes the sound of the word.

    ////==\\\\ ~Wisdom~

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    Comments

    1. Charles3's Avatar
      Wow what an interesting spider! I want to meet them!
    2. FireFlyMan's Avatar
      Quite a figure, that spider. He seems like he'd be the breakout character in a zany cartoon series.