lucid

I haven't posted in a little bit, but I have been keeping track of my dreams! Alot of them I have been writing in my paper journal for lack of time online, and when I couldn't do that I have an emergency "sketchbook" style notebook to write quick notes in. Realistically I have alot of these sketch-style notes that need to be transformed into journal entries.

But here I will tell you about how I got Lucid FINALLY after recording and obsessing about recording! In it, my dream journal, the thing most on my mind lately, became my dream-sign.

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3.30.2015

It starts out on a farm my landlord owned in my dream. I was looking after it for them with a dream-sister, although there wasn't much to take care of. All the animals they owned had disappeared without a trace, and no one knew what happened to them. I think this mystery, among other things, is what caused them to keep away from the farm and ask me to watch it for them. The farm was a very dull and bleak looking place. Imagine a cold winter day before any snow has fallen on the ground, but all the leaves had fallen from the trees. Barren trees, dull orange dry leaves, dull grey sky. It looked like it was 6AM, just before sunrise, all day long. And this appearance permeated through the entire farm, into the house. It was just very depressing.

There were other mysteries too. You would hear footsteps of people walking on the second floor, but no one besides me and my little sister were there. I think the farm hands and other people who worked on the farm disappeared along with the animals, so hearing footsteps was eerie. I think there was an understanding that something unearthly occupied the farm, although I am not 100% sure.

As to my dream-sister, she looked nothing like my actual sister in real life. I might add also, that alot of times in my dreams I am accompanied by a dream-friend or a dream-sister or my own sister in real life. I am rarely alone in my dreams. I like to think its my dream guide. This particular companion was a young girl of 10 or so, with blonde hair done up in pigtail style braids. She wore an old fashioned dress.

I remember a couple scenes in this house. I remember me and my sister in an office type of space attempting to hook up a laptop so we could use the internet. The only part of this room I really remember is the desk the laptop laid on, and the laptops themselves. The desk was that cheap particle board style desk you see in offices, with the base of the desk being made of beige colored metal. Everything was dusty, too. There was a main section of the desk where the "main laptop" would sit, and two fold out wings, slightly lower than the main portion, where smaller laptops sat. It was designed for a team to sit at the same desk and work together side by side. We were very excited to try and get it to work, but like I said..it was quite dusty and unused. I don't think we could get the computers to even power on, or there just was no internet in the area.

I remember walking through a small dark hallway in the home to get to a bedroom with my sister. A greenish yellow light glowed through one room to accent the darkness, like a painted yellow window bringing in the dull grey atmosphere of the outside into house. The bedroom, too, had a dusty, grey, old feel to it. The bed looked like it came out of the 1980s, infact. Another particle board mess, very low key and geometric, Blonde "wood", and pastel colored sheets. I think the whole reason I went lucid was because of what I did next. I was acting as if I was awake, and I had to go to sleep. My sister suggested I lay down, and I did. I laid down in the 1980s bed, laying in the same position I use in waking life, to my left side facing a wall. This is where I heard the walking and banging upstairs as I tried to fall asleep. My landlords in real life live above me in my house, and it is an actual thing for them to make lots of noise when getting ready for work at 4 AM. I think my mind was recreating this, only in my dream, ghostly things were stomping around instead.

I did my best to ignore it, covering my head with the blanket and closing my eyes. Very weird to try and sleep when in a dream, but it was just as it was in real life. Nothing zany happened when I closed my eyes, just the usual darkness. The banging continued, but I just ignored it and continued to focus on falling asleep.

This next part, I don't know in what order of the dream it occurred. Maybe here!

I remember I had wanted to grab my dream journal and "emergency" red journal from home, because I knew I would be staying at the house for a while and wanted to use the opportunity to write down all these dreams I have been stockpiling for the past few days. I remember going to my boyfriends house - not my house! - and searching for them around and under the cushions of their living room couch. I reached under the leftest most cushion and..voila! my dream journals! Just as I found it, a little funny gremlin looking demon appeared to my right, in the fireplace or floating near it. He wasn't a menacing monster, just something you would imagine seeing in a kids book or a cartoon. Ugly, but not scary. He popped in to taunt me about my sister, how I left her all alone. He told me she was in danger in a mocking way. Maybe he even implied HE was kidnapping her! I got angry and nervous, and decided to get my butt back to the farm house to make sure she was ok. I vaguely remember the demon showing me a video of my sister. She was sitting with other kids in a daycare setting (the same grey dullness), doing some kind of craft project on little circular tables like you'd see in a school. Suddenly someone called to her, and she got up and walked off camera. So, I rushed to her rescue!

I guess my sister was taken to the usual place bad stuff happens in my dream, my childhood home, "B Street". Always, no matter what, I find myself back in that house with its spooky basement full of ghosts! Anyways, I had to take a train there to rescue her, but I missed it completely.

Rather than give up hope, however, I said "why don't I just fly there?"

This is where things get weird. I cant figure out how all this worked out in my dream. Maybe it just doesn't make sense! I am back sleeping in the 1980s bed, or maybe I woke up a little in real life, or maybe I was just dreaming of dreaming again. Whatever the case, I was back to having my eyes closed like I was trying to go to sleep. When I suggested to myself to just fly there, a flash of purple and pink lit up my blackness, and the desire to fly to where I needed to go went from just a mere thought in my head, to a visualization, to a dream. I saw myself sliding down a steep hill like a videogame character, and saw myself glide over a gap at the end of this hill to a platform on the other side. (Very videogame-like. Just imagine Mario64 styled levels or Banjo Kazooie. Very polygonal, this section.) At this point I was having trouble. Its always a gamble with me when it comes to transitioning from "vague idea/visualization" to "holy crap I am dreaming!" because at some point you need to "open your eyes". When visualizing the gliding/flying, my eyes were "closed". I flew from that platform I glided to, and flew a little more to land in a small polygonic valley on the other side. I felt the sensation, that wonderful sensation, of dream flying while I did this. But my eyes were still "closed". I landed all cool in a fancy crouching pose, and just stayed there for a little bit.

"You have to open your eyes, you know." I thought to myself. "Its always a gamble, but you have to try!"

So I did. The first try, I opened my eyes to a faded black scene, like a stage set where all the lights are out. You can just see the vague shapes of the things around you but nothing concrete at all. It was because I was trying to go to B street, still determined in my mission. I was trying to visually construct that place with my consciousness, but I just sucked at it. I saw shaped of trees, and the valley I was in sort of transformed into a little side lawn on a side of a house that actually was on B street. But it was all dark and formless. So I closed my eyes again, and thought really hard. "You're in B STREET!". I opened them again. Same thing. I closed them again. As usual when in these kind of pickles, I said "screw it, let me just let the dream take me where it wants me to go." After coming to terms with my suckiness, I opened my eyes one final time.

Oh sweet goodness! So wonderful to open your eyes when lucid to a new world!

I was not in B street at all. I was in something that looked like it came out of the newer Willy Wonka movie. I was still in my little valley, and it was still kind of dark like before, but past this was a vividly colorful hill, a bright spring green. It was framed by bright red velvet and gold tasseled stage curtains, and it went up in steps to a scene on the tippy top, like a big green staircase. At each "step", red and white candy cane looking swirlie structures decorated the hill. There were yellow and white flowers, too, and maybe a cobblestone walkway. I was, as usual, in awe of the clarity of being here, and just took it all in. I tried rubbing my hands to get more in the moment, but it didn't really bring any texture or more realism to the situation. I usually don't bother with sensation alot anyways. I find constantly rubbing my hands to be distracting, but I do try it from time to time. I saw on the top of a hill, a little scene. Maybe a tree in shadow, with a park bench sitting besides it, and someone lounging in it, like they were sleeping. It was either my sister fainted from being kidnapped, or the bad guy in the plot lounging in a smarmy sort of way. I couldn't see the top immediately, so I focused my eyes (go me for doing more than one focusing technique!), and as I did so I began walking up the hill.

Like a dream does, as I neared the top, the scene transformed. I also got a little more numb the closer to the top of the hill I got, but I was still using my conscious mind just fine. The top of the hill transformed itself into a medieval/fantasy looking church, and waiting inside for me was the villain. The church was completely open from where I walked into it. Inside, it had a lobby sized area for maybe a couple of people or parishioners to sit. It was small by cathedral standards but it also fluctuated in that respect as well. To the left of the "parishioner" area was a rounded room, almost a large alcove. It was completely walled in glass windows that gave a view to a forest outside. In front of the parishioner area was where the priest would usually go. In the dream this section was only a few steps higher than the congregation area, whereas in real life its usually a little taller I think. There was a big rounded stain glass window here like a traditional church, but the exit door to the other side of the church was there too. The right side of the church was just a wall. The entire thing was in light grey stone, with pillars and steps and all the nice things you'd find in an older church. Where the priest's place was stood the villain. It was a taller 20 year old with brown-red hair and pale skin, wearing black. She was a vampire. She kidnapped my sister and was going to feed off of her and turn her into a vampire, too. I am not sure what ended up happening to my sister in this struggle. the brunette vampire was, I think, behind her and sucking on her neck or threatening to. She might have even turned her into a vampire already and I had to fight her off. Whatever the case, my sister was getting in the way of my battling the evil vampiress. Either I had to break her neck and push her into the window alcove, or the vampiress threw her in there after sucking on her blood and she passed out and fell in there. In the dream, as in my favorite show "Vampire Diaries", cracking ones neck didn't kill them immediately. It just sort of knocks someone out.

(I was still SLIGHTLY lucid btw.) I tried to punch at the vamp while she hid behind my sister. My punches connected but they did little to her, and she laughed them off. Once my sister was out of the way, I kept trying to punch her out and stop her from killing her and me. I didn't want to kill the evil vamp I don't think. I wanted to either cure her or just stop her from hurting other people. If there was a way to end it in a peaceful or less definitive way, I was willing to try it. However, my methods were not working, and I decided I had to worry more about my unconscious sister than keeping this woman alive. Now that I think of it, I think my sister was going to turn into a vampire, so it was a race against time to stop the villain before she turned. I think I needed the evil villain's blood to stop the transformation, or killing off the villain stopped it. Since I was so stressed for time, I reach over to the brunette vampire, said "Ah screw it!", and snapped her neck. Instantly she crumpled to the floor, completely defeated.

I ran over to where my sister was laying and helped her up as she came to. Did I give her blood? Not sure. She looked differently at this point, though. What was once my blonde, fancy dressed little sister was a squat little anime chibi dressed in kimono. She had a big bobble head, and her hair was black now. She stood up and was fine.

After that I woke up and happily wrote all this down! Yay!
END
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Influences:
VAMPIRE STUFF: Definitely Vampire diaries! One of few shows I watch, I guess I was thinking about it that night. I even thought perhaps the bad guy of this show, "Claus", was in my dream!
Stompy stomp stomp above my head!: My landlord's wonderful habit of causing ruckuses every morning. Its why I wear earplugs.
Getting to sleep: I have been OBSESSING with going to bed at a good hour since restarting my Lucid dream mission!

And of course, my dream sign was MY DREAM JOURNAL because of my recent obsession with writing in it. Having it in my hand in the dream made me think of dreaming, so I was able to easily figure things out. Dreaming was on my mind, so it was an easy transition, and my journal was the reminder!

I think I am going to have trouble remembering my dream last night. I will record what I remember later today.

But, for now, another Lucid dream I had put down previously. This particular dream, I was thinking it was an OOB experience. So some of my wording is odd. I didnt know about lucid dreaming at the time. Also, another experience from college. I used to do some crazy dream stuff back then!

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I took a nap for whatever reason an art student takes a nap, so when I began dreaming, my conscious mind was still awake. I was back in CT (I was attending college in NYC at the time of the dream) and in my Parent's house. I was in my sister's room, walking, or floating out from her closet and towards the the outside hallway that connects her and my room with the rest of the house. I had the feeling of being led somewhere without my permission, but I figure it was my spirit floating through the house and my logical, conscious mind confused that it wasn't in control. I looked up and into the dining room (as before I was concentrating more on the floor. And no, I don't recollect my feet.) and commented on how the sunlight was shining so nicely into the room. I then took a left, through the open doors and into the living room, where I looked down onto one of my mom's throw blankets that was on the floor along with one of the many furniture catalogs my mom keeps and reads from time to time. I remember seeing some red cloth or reddish cloth blanket or bedspread. I also commented on how the blanket and magazine were even ON the floor, since in real life my mum is such a clean freak and only usually puts things on the floor for a minute.

I figured, or knew she was somewhere in the kitchen. Next, in a flash, I had speedily made my way to the front door and was looking out the storm window. I then flew outside, spun around to look at a moving van that was parked infront of the house next door and on the sidewalk. I studied it for a while, then...

I was suddenly somewhere completely different. I flew out of an emerald colored volcano that was hollowed out and without lava. (like a volcano shaped chute or something.) I began ZOOMING towards a sparkling city or palace that was very far away, but I reached it in only a few seconds. Between the green volcanoes and the sparkling citadel was what looked like shining purple chunks of rock, with deep cracks in between them. I couldn't exactly see what they were or if there was anything else under me as I flew, since I was going so incredibly fast. It was also very dark under me.

The next thing I saw was the interior of the castle. I was standing in the huge threshold of what seemed at first like a sewer, only very clean and without poo-rivers. Or maybe it was closer to a dungeon-like water treatment plant. I stood in a square, grey bricked corridor, looking ahead and down at a river of purple sparkling water. It flowed below the corridor I was in and an adjacent, identical corridor, from the left to the right. It ran through a grate in the left and went off somewhere I couldn't see on the right. I think it also branched off to another river that flowed away from me, further down.

Next I was at the threshold of the whole manor/castle, only a little in. I now saw before me a humongous, glowing purple orb, inside which was what looked like a star system, or a universe. The orb was on a black pedestal. I think things and mist swirled around the orb. At first this was all very fuzzy, like I didn't have my glasses on and therefore couldn't see well. But, my logic mind still active, I was able to make myself focus. I wanted to remember all of this. I focused too much and things became too detailed. Like if you put on a stronger prescription of glasses that you shouldn't be wearing and it strains your eyes.

It was then that I noticed a guard to my right and a little infront of me. He hadn't seen me yet and was looking away, like a guard would. He wore a knights mail, a helmet...held a spear? Had faded red on. When I saw him I started to excitedly talk at him, so happy that I was able to meet another person while I was able to still use my logic mind. Of course I scared him, because I was behind him and he had no clue who I was or why I was there. I then realized this, and was afraid he would attack me, so I jumped really high 3 or 4 times to get out of his way. I landed in a room connected to the one I was just in, to the direct left of where I previously stood. There was what looked like gym mats ( both rolled up and unrolled and on the floor ) in this room, and I think it somewhat resembled a P.E gymnastics area.

Next I remember looking in a mirror and looking at my reflection as I danced excitedly. I looked like me. The guard who I previously scared was still there. He told me, as I looked in this full length mirror, that I was "the reincarnation of our Queen". or Princess. Then I woke up.
End!
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After this, I was convinced I was some mysterious Alien Queen in hiding. I didn't know what had happened. Whether I had a dream or I really experienced this adventure as a spirit. I was...confused. :[

Looking back, I'm amazed I was able to focus and do other lucid-y things without even knowing that I was in a lucid dream. Ha.

As a new member, I'm going to put up some older lucid-based dreams on here. I have been recording for my own amusement since 2001, and a few random lucid moments occurred during that time. I will put up the lucid dreams I had thus far.
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I just had THE most realistic dream ever. I am wide awake and I have to write this down.

I was drifting off to sleep. It hasn't happened in a while, but when I was in college I used to have alot of out of body experience-type things. Usually it involved mostly movement and sensations. In these type of dreams, for some reason I can't always see what is going on. I am not entirely positive it was an OOB experience. If its instead a lucid dream, and you are convinced in the dream world that its an OOB, is it an actual OOB or part of the dream? Anyways. I'll write what I remember.


I felt myself, first off, drifting out of my body. More like wrenching myself out of my body in a good effort. I remember reaching my hands outwards because I really wanted to get out. Once I was free of myself, I floated above me a little bit in the same laying position as I was when sleeping. Then I slowly felt myself turn, in this same position, with my head facing where my feet had been and vice versa. It felt like someone was guiding me into this. The laying position then lifted up like a rocket preparing to launch, and I was flying off. I now remember seeing the walls around me zooming by as I went through them.

The first sensation I felt after that was sound. What sounded like a steady car-driving sound, or the highway. I heard cars zoom past me and I wondered what I was experiencing. I couldn't move, and like I said I sometimes I can't see anything in these types of dreams. I was still in a laying position. I assumed I was in someone's car. I felt someone brushing my hair or moving their hands through it to clean it. They were trying to keep me looking neat, I guess. The wind in the car kept whipping my hair around a smidge, and they wanted to keep it nice and neat. I also felt at one point them lifting my bangs in an attempt to cut them short. Or maybe they lifted them but didn't cut them. I also remember someone pulling some of my own hair that was stuck in between my teeth out, as if they got stuck up in my gums pretty good. This part was odd. There was alot of hair stuck in-between the right side of my teeth, and they pulled them out with some effort. It reminded me of dental work.

Next I remember being in a room and hearing people talking. I think I saw the room, I'm not sure. This part is blurry.

Anyways, this "laying-still-while-someone-brushes-my-hair-while-in-a-moving-car" thing was going on for a while, and dream/spirit-me was getting really bored. I was hoping for something a little more interesting and this wasn't cutting it. I wanted to wake up and get back into another dream. I tried opening my eyes, because in the past opening them has wakened me from these types of dreams. This time I had opened them, and I saw instead slight glimpses of the environment around me. I *thought* that I was waking up, but then suddenly I was afraid of opening them again. Like I was unsure of what to do about the opening-eyes thing. So, I stayed in the dream.

Suddenly I felt fingertips on the middle of my back, and then a strong person picking me up from my laying position. I thought it was an angel pulling me out of the dream. I was saying in my head "Thank you God!" over and over because I was sure this creepy kidnapping dream was going to end. It was starting to frighten me! Whoever was carrying me was reassuring me, saying it was alright. Also I recall a glimpse of me being carried through the threshold.
But then, I felt someone cleaning my skin.

Like every inch of my skin, cleaning something off of it. I still thought this was a process of leaving the dream so I still had hope. I thought then I was safely set in my bed/body again and I would wake up to reality.

When I opened my eyes, I was in shock. Instead of the familiar darkness of my bedroom, and the sensation of being awake, what met my eyes was a bathroom.

A yellow and white tiled bathroom. it was tiled in small yellow and white tiles so that it made a checkered pattern. They were really tiny ones, like mosaic sized, and they came up the wall halfway like some bathrooms have them. The walls were yellow. I stood in the middle of the room. To my right and parallel to where I stood was a smudgy, dirty mirror, like the kind in older junky hair salons. To my right, infront of me, was I think a sink. Directly infront of me was a tiny window, closer to the ceiling, with white curtains and yellow pattern on it. To the left and center was a toilet. To the left and parallel to where I stood was a counter or sink. It was an alright sized bathroom. Medium sized I guess. It reminded me of an old ladies bathroom. Someone who had done the decor in the 60s and then totally kept it that way through the rest of their life. It was nice for an outdated shitty bathroom.

So, I was in total and complete shock, and I began repeating to myself "this isn't my house this isn't my house!" all scared. I started looking around frantically at the setting. I darted to the window but didn't look through or attempt to open it. I looked at the dirty mirror, and kind of saw me. It looked a little like me, but two long, inch wide strands of bangs were covering my eyes. They seemed lighter than the rest of my hair, which was cut kind of similar. I couldn't tell so much because the mirror was too high for me to see past my forehead. Also I was afraid to look. I didn't immediately see eyes so I freaked out. Dream-mirror-looking is never fun. D: I didn't want to stare long enough to see I didn't have eyes or something dumb like that. Also I think I was wearing one of the nightgowns I actually own.

Anyways, I was immediately determined to get the fuck out of there. I opened the door, it wasn't locked. I knew there had to be someone downstairs waiting for me. As soon as I exited the bathroom, to my immediate left, was a staircase going downstairs. I took it. At the end of the stairs, to my right, across from a large, dark sitting room, was the living room. It had a curved entry-way that sectioned the room off from the other parts of the house. Inside this room it was also brighter. I saw two fat people sitting there. One was a woman and she was watching TV. Another was a man in a brown-tan shirt and he was reaching behind the sofa for something. He was crouched the other way.

I tried to silently sneak out. The guy saw or heard me and ran after me. I took something metal and smacked him over the head with it. I went to run again for the door, but every time I tried running my head began to swim and I'd get really dizzy. Like the action was taking alot out of me. It was a struggle. Once again I had to turn back as the guy tried to approach me. This time I grabbed a long metal standing lamp that was set by the door and smacked him over the head with it. That really got him, and he fell to the ground. I debated going at him again with the lamp and getting him for good, but I was afraid of the other person in the next room getting up and helping the guy out. Also he wasn't knocked out. He crawled for something that was on the floor a little ways beyond the door to the outside. I didn't wait to find out what it was he was grabbing for.

This time I walked slowly to the door. I knew running wouldn't work out well for me. I thought to myself: "Sometimes when you rush things you don't get anything done correctly." So I took my time and walked there. I was mere inches from the door. There was something small blocking it. Like a trunk or something. Something I could hop over easily.

AND THATS WHERE I WOKE UP! FFFFFFFFF

Its not that I am afraid (although I went to check if the door was locked lol), just amazed. Surprised. "What the fuck!?" and so on. I wonder whether it was a dream or something else. And I wonder if the girl was supposed to be me or another girl who was never so lucky to escape. I just don't understand. I am confused!

I also feel like I'm never going back to sleep, Siigh

End!

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Scary as it was at the time, the complete realism I experienced when I opened my eyes and looked at that bathroom was amazing. I might as well had been in a real bathroom, in a real house. I sort of began to lose the lucid feeling in the living room, as I was smacking the guy in the head and attempting to run. But the majority of the experience was so so real. It didn't even feel like a dream, up until the end part.

I wonder, was this a WILD? Obviously the first part was a little SP. Being in my body, struggling to get out, etc. Some of my SPs in the past had involved me floating above my body as I slept like how I did here. I feel like I kind of worked my way through this SP, and got myself a nice reward for doing so.

Anyways, hope you enjoyed c: