false awakening

3:44 - About 4 hours of sleep.

I dreamt with a very vivid storm happening in house of María Olguín, the house i currently slept in. My older sister was there, i had some arguments about her smoking in the house and then she put music, which i tend not to like (it was night, so i disagreed even more). I was in the bedroom, and i saw that rain was coming down from the window and soon it would fill the entire room and beds would float, although there was a drain in the middle of the room. In order to prevent that i went outside to clear the gutters from leaves. I go outside to climb the stairs to the terrace, and i find myself stuck in the middle of the stairs because i saw winds coming from the east. Also i saw a tornado like a block away, north, and about 15 meters to my left, so i thought it might destroy our house or it might just pass by, any of those choices could happen. Since it was a huge storm coming from the east, and a lot of wind i thought to go back inside, there was no way i could clear the gutters. I wanted to go back, but the wind was so strong that i couldn't walk too much, or else i would fly away. I saw paper flying away, and hitting me. I knew i was about going to die. I actually thought about it when my sister went outside to smoke because of my complaints, she said that a huge storm was coming. A huge storm only meant a "cosmical storm" (dream sign, like a storm where the universe ends, something like a big crunch). So i knew i was just a couple of minutes of dying. I wasn't agitated, but ... i was aware that not only i would loose my house, the whole city would be destroyed, but my sister would die, and i would loose my body and of course all the memories and "knowledge" gathered in this lifetime. I thought at that moment of remaining conscious, alert, mindful. I heard a classmate from highschool, apparently he lived next door in the building, that he already started flying. The tornado approached and was going to hit the house, not passing by. It was big, bigger than i thought it was. Even if it was small, if i went in there i wouldn't come out alive (unless i realized it was a dream and could fly away). The papers flied towards the earthy tornado and the winds and rains from the east merged with it. Finally the water from the east arrived home, and destroyed everything, including me. It was like a tsunami, although it came out of the rain. I remained in the same position, wasn't carried away by the water, but the house was immersed by the water. I had the eyes closed so i didn't know if i was dead or alive. But i could sense that apart from water the whole house was debris and it mixed with the water, which gave it a brown tone. I thought "is this dying?", and i didn't know if i was dead yet. But even still, if i wasn't dead i would be because i would drown. So i took a breath in on purpose, because i thought it would be better to do it and remain mindful of the process, instead of running out of oxygen and then desperating because i can't breathe. I didn't breathe in water... so i don't know... but i thought that it was already over, and also that i could go anywhere with my mind. Having no interest to explore i woke up.

I checked the time, saw my cat sleeping on the couch next to me, that tranquilized me a bit. Then i wrote the dream on my cellphone. Then i got up, went to bathroom, looked for water, and got back to bed thinking perhaps about wilding.

At 7:20 i woke up again having had a lucid dream.

I was in my bedroom. I don't remember very well how it happened, but i questioned if it could be a lucid dream. I took some time to do a reality check, like i would take while waking, and i looked at my hand while pressing the left middle finger through the palm of the right hand. I saw my hand with something like a white glow, but actually imperceptible. Then i saw the finger pushing through and making a black hole in the palm of the hand. I said to myself, oh wow, yes it is a dream! I just did the reality check just as routine, convinced that the dream was reality, and when i found out it was a dream still i was lucid but still the dream didn't feel like it was a dream (but i wouldn't be fooled). Anyways i did the reality check before the dream collapsed, and after i got lucid the dream collapsed and i woke up. But even when i woke up i thought that it could not be so, because it could be a false awakening. So i checked my surroundings. I had woken up where i was lying, and everything was the same, the lights were a bit brigth enough to see but dark to know it's still night. Damn i thought, i truly awake. I think the sign that made me think i was awake was that i felt the body heavy. But... it actually was a false awakening, and i didn't do a reality check, even though i could have. Then when i really awoke i found out.

Then at 9:30 i dreamt had another dream, which wasn't short.

I dreamt about being in a kiosk. It was night, and i was dressed as hippie, like coming out of my apartment with whatever clothes just to but something and go back. I wanted to buy a chocolate, but the young lady said she didn't have. Then i asked for an alfajor, "Grandote, triple". I think she didn't have that either. There were other 2 people buying but i didn't pay attention to them. They were going to clubs probably. Then the lady told me that i should stay there, that i violated some things because of the chocolate (i wasn't supposed to eat chocolate or something like that). I didn't resist, nor tried to escape like i could have done, i remained calm and let the situation unfold. I knew i had power over myself. The man grabbed some handcuffs and he put them in my hands and in my anckles, and they were linked by a chain. Then he entered me in the kiosk, and guided me to the back, where he and she had a laboratory (a pharmaceutical laboratory). Then he opens the high security door and i get in. Inside there was like a pit and many ... characters there who were there to fight, but weren't agressive. Like gladiators. Although i don't like to kill, and i would refrain from doing it, at first i just didn't control myself, and just defended myself being the first and fastest attacker. Then when there were like 5 left, some of the toughest ones i thought that what i was doing wasn't right, so i stopped. (I was using like energy out of my hands, and that made the DC dissapear). The remaining characters weren't agressive, they knew that i still was powerful and could defend myself, but also knew i wouldn't, but even so they didn't attacked me because they were also kind of surprised, and they did more or less the same. I decided that it was time to go out, and i went out.
I got out to the streets and it was dawning. I was in Cordoba, in street caceres de allende, or actually the following street (which i don't know), and reaching Bv San Juan. In a shop there were some matrix agents. I was aware of them, but wasn't bothered by them, they were just some other dream characters. I sensed that in Bv San Juan there was going some kidnapping going on, so i went there, and tried to save the girl/girls being kidnapped. Then i woke up.

I went to bed about at 23:30. I was very tired. I would have liked to meditate but i relaxed lying in bed. I fell asleep at 3:40. Late but all the time i was relaxing the body, so i had a good night of rest. I woke up at 8:55 and i dreamt with:

I was on a field with some other people and there was a barn. Past the barn there was a field full of straw. It was probably like 10 miles like that... or more. However there was a sniper that would shoot us if we walked on that straw. So... as soon as we passed the barn we just jumped to the ground, and if he shooted us then ok, if he didn't very good. He didn't shoot, maybe he didn't saw us or wasn't quick enough. We were looking for a diamond in all that straw.
Then Joako, Fede and another guy approach me to mock how i played football. I get angry but i was powerless... Then i hear him spreading rumours about me with a taxi driver, and although i would let that pass because i don't really care i said the taxi driver that it wasn't true (actually i think this is better action than let it pass, but still not caring). I saw the transportist that took me from school to my house when i was at highschool so i decided to leave with him. I opened the front door, but there was Sofia and Lucia. So i went at the back. Then i saw that also Victoria L was also there. I wasn't going with Noel anymore so i worried about how i was going to pay to him (i recalled a lot of times he "saved me" in my dreams... so i would have to pay all that. I wanted to pay all that. Also i would like to be more self-reliable from now on, either walking or taking a bus, or being lucid). As we were going out of school i saw Fede standing in the street, so i take my arm out the window and slap him in the forehead. Nobody saw me, not even him probably. But immediately after i did that i regretted it. Victoria asked for internet password and although i didn't know it i gave it to them.

Then i had a false awakening. I was on the kitchen and saw a kg of flour, which actually i know there wasn't (in the dream apparently my sister bought it), and some scons. I ate the scons. Then i don't remember anything else.

Then i got up. Went to the bathroom (it was 9AM) and went to the kitchen. Right then i realized i have had a FA before. I checked if that was a dream but it wasn't. I ate some peanuts, drank some milk. Then drank some water and went to bed to try WILD. This lasted about 5 minutes.

So i lied in bed and started relaxing the body with the breaths. At first i just watched the breath, particularly how it felt in the head. Then i started counting as i was relaxing. Then i thought i was relaxed enough to sleep, that maybe i could fall asleep at any moment. I counted up to 30 and i felt that i could dive at any moment, but i reminded myself to still keep counting and forget of actively diving. Then i turned to my right side and started again, watching my breath and counting. I don't remember if i counted, and if i did i counted up to 20. I tried to remain aware the whole process but also knew i had to let sleeping occur. So i fell asleep and didn't experience any HI or sleep paralysis, vibrations, sounds... i just went straight to a dream. As soon i was in the dream i knew it was a dream, but also i didn't believe it so much because it could just collapse at any moment, because i was aware of my body lying at bed. So in the dream i was in my home city, Rio Cuarto, in front of Saint Francisco Church. It was at night. I thought of getting involved in the dream to let it unfold and so gain lucidity later when the dream was completely formed. BAD IDEA. I thought that if i didn't do anything the dream would just collapse, but getting involved in the dream as if it were a nonlucid it was just plainly a bad idea, at least do it lucidly! that's what WILDs are for! Well... i wasn't too logical at that moment. So i headed in front of the church, coming from a supermarket (that supermarket might be like 6 blocks away, but in the dream it seemed like 2 blocks). And i had 2 bags full of groseries and one bag with a box of shoes. The bag of groseries were so heavy that one of the bags was about to fall to the ground. So i grabbed it differently, and they were definitely lighter when i put them at the height of my chest. Then i just put the bags in the shoe bag. And at this moment a memory of awareness came again, that it was a dream, but i let that go... Then i start hearing canticles from the church saying "The inmortal is always with me/us. The inmortal won't let you go...". It was a christian church, and i just decided that it was time to leave. Then next to the church there was a bar, and my father was there drinking a beer or something in the street. He tells me "It would "good" (or interesting) to hear the song from a psychological point of view". I reacted like being angry because i wouldn't like to hear that song! I heard Christian songs before and they make no sense to me, so i wouldn't hear this one. I replied something like "why would i hear a song of another religion than mine?" although that question was vague, i could have had replied something better, wiser, more open. But i felt tired in the dream... like if i had duties... I was carrying 3 bags and i just have forgotten that it was a dream and that i could simply put the bags on the ground and forget about them, or donate the things of whatever... Well I think i need more resolve, and more practice. Then i woke up and recorded the canticle. Then i thought about it and i was sure that they referred to "god", but then i thought it from the point of view of Buddhism and the inmortal refers actually to nibbana, and some monks that share some of their experiences said that they experienced a happiness, a tranquility that hasn't left from the time they experienced it, be it 4 years, 40 years or whatever (Ajaan Liem and Ajaan Maha Boowa). So i felt relieved by this and felt glad having dreamt with this when i woke up. It was a christian church and i know their path doesn't aim nibbana, but since there aren't any buddhist temples in Argentina (just one Zen temple i think, and some Dojos of Tibetan Buddhism in BSAS) i interpret it that a message of Buddhism could have come from a church.

This dream lasted about 20 minutes, so i could have tried a DEILD or something like that. But i didn't felt like it. I also thought it would be ideal to wake up since i was rested. But i didn't. Maybe i would have a long dream in which i could become lucid. I slept for about 3 hours, almost 4 and lying in my chest.

I dream being in "casa tia" (a supermarket).
I don't have time for the act.
I am in a river and there are jaguars there. However i didn't get hurt. This was in alpacorral (and looked like Santa Rosa)
I am in a playhouse (pelotero) and there are some mattresses. We were at some height. If we fell we were going to get eaten by some animals and die. There were people thrown there.

Then i decide to go homeless. My family was together, and they were in a car. They were wealthy but i thought they might be fools for that, being blinded by money. So i left home. I went to a Buddhist temple in Alpacorral (there isn't any) and asked for a room there. They gave me a room, and it was completely empty. It was fine for me, since i like to sleep on the floor (although i usually put something not to feel cold. I dont mind hardness). They were doing chanting and i didn't want to get involved so i just went to this room. There was a small Buddha statue in the front wall however. I thought what to do now, i had no future at all... and i was free. I thought about meditating but maybe i just could not focus because of the chanting next door. So i knew i had with me a bag with medicine. I open it and saw many different pills and a small metal box. I open it and it had nails: a copper nail an iron nail and another nail (maybe silver). It was to put it on the bones of the fingers Then i woke up.