side notes

This morning i broke the dry spell.
I went to sleep at like 2am last night. Slept until 10-11, i didnt check the time. My uncle came into the room to grab something so i woke up, but as soon as he left the room i got back to sleep.
I started dreaming about a reunion... it was more like a party in my grandparents house, but with people from the university, and other people i didn't know. I remember i went outside barefoot, but there was a lot of mud. Now the house has morphed to the house im currently living in, my uncle's house. I was talking with the mother of my uncle's wife, and when i was done talking i decided it was time to go. Where? Idk i just thought the time there was up and that i should do something different. So i got outside, with a shovel so i could pick up the mud trace i was leaving :joy: , and started walking towards the city center. It's actually a long walk. I've never gone walking before, i've always used bus and it takes like 40 minutes, so i was thinking "i should take the bus, otherwise it will take a really long time" but meanwhile i kept walking and it wasn't towards a bus station. It seems like i didn't care too much about the distance, i just wanted to walk and i was enjoying it. I was able to go through a mildly dangerous zone looking around happily like if i was a tourist. There were people around, old mostly, buying stuff. I just watch them and go past them. Whenever i saw to the front i saw buildings, similar to those in the movie inception where Cobb and his wife built an entire city. Then i look to my right.... and i notice something very very strange (for me).
I see like a path, a street (that i know where it is located, in my home city) and beyond that there was an old building, but still functional, looked like "the house of Black and White". The strange thing about this was that it was a dream sign for me. I analized the structure, from the point i was standing, and i saw outside the building like a walking path, that it lead to some docks. So there i knew i was dreaming. Because the building was the same. I've walked that path before, so i was extremely confident i was in a dream. And i've only been to the sea two times, and we don't have a sea in my city so it all made sense to me that this was a dream. I was 95% confident i was dreaming. So at that point i wanted to make the most out of my lucid dream, do something. Before that i said it out loud "im lucid dreaming" so i did not forget once i start changing stuff.
But i don't do anything. Im so passive that i just stand there and observe. I thought about having sex, but then i thought "meh". I see some people playing in the water, across the streets. There were some rocks in which people were laying, tanning themselves, and other people climbed it so they could jump into the water. The water was quite deep, about 10 meters i believe. I know because it was cristaline water, so you could see the bottom. People playing in the water were big though, they were giants. I could see them as tall as buildings. Then the dream starts to fade and i regret not having a plan on what to do during the lucid dream. As soon as the dream starts to fade away i remain calm, both in mind and body. So far i don't feel a body, but as soon as i'd feel it i'd stay calm. All I saw a black background with a small light. I waited; still didn't feel my body so i was doing good so far (if i wanted to go back into lucid dreaming). And i thought i would either form a new lucid dream or i would meditate in that state. But i didn't feel prepared to form a dream from scratch (now that i think about it it was dumb not having even tried it) and i wasnt sure about meditating either. So i decided to wake myself up. I don't know how i did it, i just did. Then i start feeling my body and my mind like i usually feel it while being awake, a bit more coarse than what i was experiencing. (It was strange lol. I could describe my previous mind state like if my "astral body/mind" that was awake, that way it makes a bit more sense to have noticed my "normal mind" as coarser).
I had only 2 experiences like this in my whole life. One time i was able to WILD in 2016, and now this time i exited a dream and was able to still remain asleep (in body but not in mind). I really liked the experience and i look forward to practicing this stuff a bit more. Before it seemed hard, frustrating, frightening, something only experts could do but now i see it as something very interesting and very possible for me to do, so i want to start practicing it more.

I went to sleep at 1:30 and woke up at around 4 am.

On my first dream i was on vacations in Uruguay. I was in a house with my family. Both my parents were there. They were playing loud music, and each one's music claimed a half of the house. It was interestesting not to hear them get mixed together. My father was taking a shower and i went to his bedroom where the desk is and i grabbed his almost finished marijuana joint. I decided i was going to make a new one and include the remainings of that one. My dad comes out of shower, and i could note he was high. He told me he was high and that he was enjoying it, but i also noted he was still like tense. Anyway he had plans on what to do while high, which surprised me because it was his first time smoking, so i went on with my things.
On my way out of the bedroom i was walking like the living hall of my mother's aunt Teresa F. There i encountered my older sister who was also about to smoke and trip on stuff like the wind (it was a bit windy outside but in a nice way, like refreshing). Then i go outside with my sister, and some neighborhood kids want to play with her with a football but we were going to take a walk (besides i don't think she'd have played anyway). It starts raining, we are still outside but we don't walk far, we just go to the backyard which is actually quite big now. When we went outside our house turned to be a Estancia (it's a countryside). My dad goes outside and he starts talking to the kids, but he was alone in the sense that my sister and me weren't there to hear what he had said. Then i go inside the house to finish this joint i never got to make. And when i come into the kitchen i received news that my dad has been arrested. I assumed that he was talking with the children about weed and perhaps police saw him high and maybe they thought he was trying to sell weed to the kids. I laughed at it and quickly thought of a defense so he'd get released from prision (it was 5 years of jail if found guilty). The defense i thought was that he didnt have weed in him (cause i took it) so even though he was high he wasn't selling anything. And personal consumption is not criminalized, well at least not after you have consumed it. But that's in Argentina and we were in Uruguay!

I came back from my vacations in Uruguay on saturday (2 days ago) and a few times my sister and i smoked weed. But i got weed so much in my mind because: 1. we were trying to get some before i came back from Uruguay, which we didn't. 2. I watched a Netflix series about Murder Mountain. 3. When i came here i thought of giving my father weed in some brownies, so he'd try it before i left to Cordoba to study.

I woke up, went to bathroom, then went back to bed and i slept until 9:00 am.

I dreamt i was sitting in a restaurant in Bs As. The restaurant was small and poor, seemed to be a family business. My table was outside. I was with my phone and some guy comes right next to my table and threatens the owner (who had a white apron) with a gun to give him the money. I thought of getting up and leaving, but i didn't know where to go so i didn't. The owner gives him the money, and then the robber comes towards me. He points the gun at me and i knew the logic thing would be to give him my cellphone so instantly i slide it though the table, i seemed to do it calmly (that's how i think it looked) but i was outraged (and i sensed that my intention was more of like throwing it rather than passing it). I saw he still stood there, so he wanted everything and apparently there were no cops around (i was in the most dangerous neighborhood, so that didn't surprise me). I took out my wallet from my pocket, and i didn't give it to him. Instead i opened it and gave him a bunch of paper money and he left (didn't give him all i had, just all i could grab in a quick manner). I remained there for a bit longer watching my surroundings. There were people fighting, there were more robbing... it wasn't a good place to stay.
I got up and decided to leave. I went through people's porches, but that was ok. Then i find myself somewhere in Córdoba and my girlfriend finds me [I don't have a gf]. I told her i was robbed, that i didn't have my cellphone. We were having an event right there and now, it was my uncle's engagement or something. We went inside and she starts talking to me what we had to do, but we were close and kissing, and i knew what we'd do after the event . I got 9 messages (i think in my gf's cellphone) from the robber that he hacked 9 of my accounts, and i saw a discord screenshot. I asked my girlfriend if she could take care of my accounts while i went home to dress but she said no because she had to be in the event to let them know i was still getting ready. She started to hurry me more but i was worried of my accounts... and the first entrant was about to begin the event and that's when i decided to quit, i wasn't dressed and i was still there and it would take at least like an hour to get home, dress and come back. But then i see my uncle's wife in the entry room sad and angry because she was also cancelling. She was cancelling because i was. Then my uncle comes smiling and he says "we're not cancelling. We can start whenever we like, we have all day. So go home, get dressed and come back. We'll wait for you." Since he told me in such a good mood i was going to do it, and forget about the accounts until later in the day. Btw while he was speaking i noticed he had white teeth, they were very bright. Then i woke up.

When i went to Uruguay it was my first time travelling out of my province alone. So i was worried i was going to get robbed at Bs As, specially because the bus station is one of the places where most crime happen.
The first time, when i went, it was early morning. I had to walk from the Bus station to the port which was like 10 blocks away. It was pretty chill.
But on my way back it was night, right after sunset. And again i had to walk from the port to the bus station. This time i was more worried and i think this influenced this last dream i had. But when i went even though it was disgusting to see such misery and precariousness, i didn't have any trouble. There were a lot of people too which were coming and going from the bus station and i saw police on a block which seemed to be the most dangerous.

I dreamt:

Being in a saloon or somewhere closed but wide and with a tall ceiling. There were ropes hanging in the ceiling and me and my sister grabbed them and made something like mickey's ears.

Then i was in my grandfather's house. There was a family meeting. A Zen monk came and asked me what i had in the head, i told him just a lunar... he told me no, in the back of the head, i told him "ahh, i must have hitted something" maybe there were some scars, and i was ashamed for my first reply because i didn't understand properly what he asked.

Then my family was having lunch near the asador, so i went there. There was a table with space near the entrance where just sofi was there. I sat there modest. Dario gave me a dish with potato chips. And asked what did i eat. I thought it is not so difficult to figure out... if he knows im vegetarian then he must deduce i don't eat meat... But still i was asked because everyone was uncertain about this. I get up. There were a couple of dogs barking. One black of medium/big size barked near me, and when i got up it bit me in my leg. My first reaction was fear, because i expected a bite, but ... i thought it's just a bite, im not going to die for this, and since it's just a bite i won't hurt the dog. So i kept walking, like equanimous about the bite.

I went to the kitchen where in the dream it actually was a bedroom. In the bedroom there was a dead dog with no skin, just flesh, running around barking about prophecies (like Christian prophecies). I get up to the bed because he might want to bite whoever disagrees, and i wait for him to finish the round, so when he comes close i observe him. (The bed reminded me of the old house of my grandparent, like of 15 years ago). Meanwhile i see a river next to me and across the river i saw Arahants (fully enlightened beings) walking. I was like . I saw two monks, fully enlightened, that i think they were Ven. Ananda and Ven. Sariputta. who were leading , and right behind them there came the Buddha and behind him the whole Sangha, which were a lot of monks. I didn't get to see the monks because as soon as i saw the first Arahants and the Buddha i got back to position and tried to figure out what was the next thing to do. I was stunned. I decided that i would wait for the dog to come, let him bark, decide that his prophecies are non-sense and discard them for good, and then swim across the river or cross it and meet the noble Sangha and the Buddha. However the monks advanced, and they advanced slowly but never stopping, it seemed like they were aware of all their actions, and they had an incredible energy and will, and as soon as i saw this i thought that although i don't recognize the other qualities they have, they may have in the same ammount of strength or degree the other factors of enlightenement, which for me was something i couldn't have imagined how it was. Just having that energy was something great, i couldn't imagine how they could have at least 6 more factors with that vigour. But they had them, and for that indeed i would honour them as noble. [When i woke up i thought that it was because they worked tirelessly life after life after life, so now although they had qualities like for someone who would live at least a million years, it was manifested in a body that lasts 80 years and that's what they are leaving behind, they don't need that anymore because they reached nibbana]. Well i waited the dog and the dog didn't come, however i saw the 2 Arahant leaders entering the room, and i was in bed. Like a sick person that lies in bed and cannot get up to greet the visits. I couldn't get up not because i was sick but because i was stunned. An Arahant knew this and levitated me outside the bed to a side. I thanked him and bowed down like in Zazen would do. Now i found a proper occasion to do this reverence. The Buddha was entering the room to sit in the bed and i was still bowing down. The Arahants were standing. I still thought that was not a place for me to be... since i didn't know what they were going to do, if give a dhamma talk or rest, or discuss other things i felt akward surrounded by Arahants and being the only non enlightened being in the room, but i knew i wanted to ordain since i saw them across the river. Before the Buddha sat down in the bed i woke up.

In the dream, the same dream, i saw normal people as normal people, and i saw the Zen monk like more energetic because of his work of zazen, but still was normal. However the arahants were exceedingly energetic, it's like one could see that they were enlightened. Of course i never saw people with that energy in real life but i wondered and imagined how they could be ever since i found out about Buddhism. I would like to meet a Buddha in a future life, and i would like to renounce the wordly life and become a monk under a Buddha.

Sidenotes:

- Good dream.

Now that i think of it, a day later, these beings took their holy life seriously, and that's why they had such power. The holy life was their livelihood, so indeed that they would be experts in what they did. Just like a good university math teacher can be very good explaining, demonstrating and resolving, in the similar way with these beings.

Also about the postrating part. I was taught when i went to Zazen not only how to sit and meditate, but also how to do walking meditation and mindful postration, and also like a salute when you enter the Dojo, when you are about to sit, when you finish meditation and when you get out. Well, these later things i was explained that it was all done focused, but i didn't find any meaning. I always thought that only when the time would be apropiate those activities that i learnt would be useful, but not so much for doing it to a statue (unless you do it for the purpose of diminishing your ego...). The apropiate occasion would be when i saw an enlightened being, a Buddha or the Buddha Sangha. This remained in my mind and now that i saw the proper occasion in this dream i said now it's a good occasion, yes! and i did it I would not only do that but follow the Buddha, the Arahant or the Sangha to either help them, donate something, receive a teaching or ordain.

My cellphone ran out of batery, and i didn't have any paper near the bed so i couldn't record the dreams as soon as i woke up. Didn't get up either, so i have to rely on my memory, which didn't do a good work

I remember dreaming with my mother and my older sister.

I was on an office, like the sets of TV News programs, but it was like an alien base... Well... My sister got a new laptop, and she was getting more stuff, which was good for her. She compared the stuff she had with the guy that was sitting next to her, an old suited man.

Then i dreamt with being Arya Stark. Probably because of the profile picture i have, which i have to change. I was in Westeros, and i got caught. An old woman who has been my sister was leading me through a pyramid stair while asking me questions about white lotus and other stuff. When we got into the top i knew they were going to kill me, like a sacrifice, or like they killed Ned Stark. I could have done something, but i didn't want to harm anyone, no matter how horrible they were or how much they deserved it. So i let things happen their natural way. There was a skeleton in a table, bloody, and it was probably someone of my family. Then i had to put the head on something like a tree stump and they chopped my head. There were like 3 or 4 people there, and the top of the pyramid was closed with windows, so i don't know who actually saw that, but i didn't care either. After i was head chopped i remained conscious but with no body, and i was actually glad that i had not to be stuck with that people anymore, i could go wherever i wanted, probably take a new form somewhere else. I didn't care about the game of thrones, eventually everything crumbles. What i did care was about my attitude, to develop good qualities which i could rely upon right now and in the future. So i was tranquil in a not easy moment, and it became more difficult at the last moment closer to my beheading, but i thought it should not be any different than the prior moments, so i calmed, and remained calm.

Side notes (for making a chart at the end of the month):
- Dream about death
- Unpleasant dream

I went to bed at about 12:00 PM. I was tired and i wanted to lay down, although i wouldn't sleep right away. I wanted to meditate instead of laying down, but... i felt tired... maybe i should investigate this lethargy in meditation itself. I fell asleep at 2 AM and i woke up at 8 AM. Then i stayed in bed and fell asleep. Woke up one hour later having dreamt more vividly. Then i just didn't got up because of lethargy (and this is dangerous because it can create a bad habit) and slept until 12:00.

Dreams of 08:00

I wrote in the cellphone "pizzas and household life", i don't even know what that means... i don't remember anything with that.

Dreams of 09:00

I dreamt being in a house, maybe it was linked with a university campus or something like that. The house looked like the house that my grandmother has, but also in combination with a carpentry, and it was abandoned but visited frequently. There was my mathematics teacher, one of the best teachers in the Faculty of Economics in University of Cordoba. He gave me really clear advice on decisions or about future decisions in my life. As soon as he finished he had to go, but i apreciated his advice. If i had to remember what advice he gave me i couldn't but i wrote something down: it was like something about the goals in one end, and oneself in another end, and one has to paint (like explaining something of mathematics, the area) all that is in the middle and that's the most important.*

Then i appeared in the entry room of my grandparents house. There my grandmother told me she had cancer. I think i told her i already knew but i was glad she told me personally, maybe because she is preparing to die, with acts of forgiveness and not hiding any secrets, i liked it. My grandfather said, well its not so serious, one doesn't know that one has cancer until the day one dies. Actually i disagreed with this (maybe i wanted to close my eyes before and think it this way but not now) because death is one kind of suffering but sickness is another, and that is really there. But i didn't reply because my uncle, José, arrived with his wife.

We were in a meeting in the dining room. My grandparent gave me a zapallo as drink. We toast. I say something, although i knew it wasn't the time to say it, that two nights ago i dreamt with Dario... (and silly of me not realizing that was a dream as well...) Analía asks what i said, and there was a baby next to her that asked what (the baby was a friend of mine but with that form...). Analia slaps the baby, and the baby just didn't react. I was offended by this action of my aunt and took the baby for a ride in a car. I was going to teach him/her how to play. I drove in calle Las heras of Rio Cuarto, and it was dark. Then i turn to my left before the bridge and i enter a neighborhood i didn't know before. I thought that i couldn't stop otherwise they would steal or kidnapp us. I saw many little elephants of clay outside the houses. I got lost and i thought i couldn't go back, and i was already to deep inside the neighborhood. There was something strange with that neighborhood. I wait till i get caught. Then i think i get caught and we loose everything, i even loose my life and i am reborn again in another realm. Only the baby could keep his life.**

Then 12:00

- There was a trafic with about 8 nude women. I just take no interest in them. Then gradually they began dissapearing, one by one. Until the last one was alone, called Narda. I suddenly looked at her, just because of curiosity, what was she doing there... well i deduced that she got payed for being there, as publicity but of course she was not just publicity. As soon as i looked at her 7 more women appeared in a blink. I said, no, i don't want this, im off. And instead of waiting for them to vanish again i left... (i think i should have let them vanish all of the 8 completely).
- Home and my mother travelled south of Argentina.
- Walking barefoot in the streets. Felt great.*** I walked in a church, nobody told me anything, but i noticed people in there was there by habit or ignorance. There was nothing i could share or that this people could share with me. I left. As soon as i got out i am surrounded by police (this happened to me once, lol). They fired me with thorns, that maybe were going to put me in sleep, so i pulled them out. Then like a woman came and just used her superpowers and artiluges to create a force barrier of orange colour so police couldn't come in. Police threteaned her but she held, however i told her not to worry and that she could leave, i would be ok. So she left and i woke up.



Notes:

Reading Serene posts about the voice and her dreams on how she got alerted about events in life inspired me
*The interpretation i would give is that i was focusing much on the goals while loosing perspective of the present or the path. Maybe i was restless while i could be calm.
** The day before i thought about Oti and how i got myself in a neighborhood like that with the car, however the neighborhood i really got myself in was more dangerous.
That neighborhood looks very similar in my dreams. It is like a recurring dream. One characteristic it has is that it's like a maze, once i get in it's difficult to find the way out, because maybe it changes... I have to think in the impermance of dreams, this is because im not lucid. If i were to be lucid i would know that it changes so quickly because its a dream.
*** Facu told me some months ago that Steve Jobs used to walk barefoot in his house. I thought, why not in the whole planet? Well now im thinking that buddhist monks walk on alms barefoot, so its possible. They are homeless, but i think i make a distinction about ordinary homeless and monks. I think there shouldn't be that distinction, because if there is im thinking about status, and what scares me about homeless people is that they have no status. Otherwise it would be a great lifestyle in my opinion. So maybe im attached to my status, and this is something i should let go.

Other notes:

- Dream with increased vividness

I dreamt i invited a friend, Fran, to a house in the countryside. We slept in the night, and at the morning of the next day i offer him some breakfast although there wasn't anything to eat. First i offer him some mint tea, then some toasts. I was walking from the bedroom (actually we were sleeping on the living room) to the kitchen, and from the kitchen to the sleeping place. Then i went to the refrigerator to look for chocolate and honey. There were 3 bars of cholocate left, so i took 2, and there was the bottom of a jar of honey, and the refrigerator was empty. He wanted to put that into the toasts, lol. Then he asked me for some cream (like cheese-cream). This part is really disgusting. I go to the kitchen and fetch from some drawers two pots of cream. I give him one pot that was open but full and i check the other one. He starts putting the content into the toast, while i was looking that the pot i was holding had some hairs that came from the underarm. He was still preparing the toast, so there was no need to scream. I told him "look at this, it seems this is not cream but rather deodorant." He said something like oh, and was undisturbed with it. He finished preparing the toast and we decided to throw it in the toilet. A toilet was right there in the living room. We finished our poor breakfast and we went outside.

We crossed a river, right outside the house to spend the day either walking on the road, or having fun. We were almost crossing when i told him i had to go back to grab the keys. He told me he would call his boss (he actually doesn't work) to tell him he would stay here. I ask him if he wanted me to grab his bicycle, but i didn't hear an answer. So i went back and i heard him saying that the water was cold. It was indeed cold, but i considered also that it was morning. I looked up the sky and it was cloudy, very cloudy, like if a storm were coming. I get off the water and had to walk about 40 meters to enter the house. There were some trees before the house. I look at the sky again, and i saw a grey background with a lot of ravens. I walk nevertheless and these ravens start to fly, like concentrating (and some of them charged) and then flying away. While they flew away the sky became clearer and the storm dissipated. There were like 100 ravens, and i felt tense while i was walking beside them. I didn't wanted to hurt them but i supposed they would attack me, and then i wouldn't know if i would react or not. I was more fearful of my reacting rather than whatever the ravens did to me. So some of them charged at me, like 3 or 4. I still walked but i was having doubts with regarding my intentions, if i wished goodwill even if they attacked me, or actually i was having an intention of ill-will towards the attacking raven. One of them bited me in my arm, and i didn't felt pain, but i felt/thought that something had to be done. With tranquil deteremination i grabbed him by the beak and opened it, but i wasn't feeling angry at all and that was something very good for me, rather i felt equanimity. He flew off but as soon as he was flying, and all the crows were doing the same, the sky opened up and showed that a beatiful sunshine was behind the clouds, and knowing that i waked up.

As soon as i waked up (i knew i really waked up hehe) i had a clear insight for my meditation. The most difficult part of the sitting meditations i do are to keep the constancy in the time of the sitting. For example if i determine to do 1:30 minutes i tend to do 1 hour, which is the normal rythm i have [Im not pushing myself too far in the goal, because i realize it is something i can actually do, i could even do do 2 hours, and 180 minutes would be pushing too far]. I don't do it because i know it's a little bit more of effort and im lazy, but im also aware that the benefits of doing it would be awesome and great. This dream has given me the motivation to endure my meditation, work a bit more, and i know that i will get to see the results soon.

What results i expect?:
-That 1:30 minutes of sitting would eventually be as easy as doing one hour.
-That all the pain that comes from meditation would eventually fade away (not by itself hehe but from work of the meditation which is done little by little)
-That after the pain is gone i will experience some pleasant feelings, and that would be the next thing i would have to deal with.
-I will gain more clarity and tranquility. That means peace of mind.

Some other notes:
-The house i dreamt was house of M. Olguín, of Rio Cuarto.
-The countryside was that which my mother rented from May/June to August/October 2015.
-I actually walked the road of that countryside to the city one day. I walked like about 4 hours and have completed only 20% of the road, so i went back before dusk. I arrived just in time, the sun was setting when i arrived. So it was also a fun day. (The next day my mothers boyfriend came in my bicycle (the one of my friend in this dream) and i went back the same day in that bicycle. He stayed for about 4 days there, but there was food to survive hehe.)

-Yesterday i watched a video of Bhante Vimalaramsi about the obstacles of meditation. It was a great talk which motivated me a lot. I think what it taught me was to accept, be mindful, investigate and continue. Developing this would be something like developing strength (in the mind).

Trying to form new habits. First start developing an habit on meditation: zazen and theravada meditation. After this is established i will try to keep mindfulness for the rest of the day (everyday), which will be supported by ADA and self-awareness. I will take this as seriously as i can.

I dreamt many events last night, so i will post the fragments here:

• My mother throws flour on me. We weren't at home, but at a place we were staying... It was uncertain for how long, and the place wasn't ours.
• I go to the bathrooms to take a shower. It was a big room (I think it was located where the primary bathrooms of my college were). There were toilet boxes in the wall in front of the door. To the left side of the door there were like 4 sinks. Some steps more and there was like an empty space in the middle where all the showers were together (like 6) [For description: it was like the gas rooms of WWII where german prisioners walked in for a "collective shower", but this was a shower for real...]. There was nobody in the showers so i decided i would take one myself, but i notice that it was reserved by Obama. After realizing this i see him, fully dressed. I realize that he was on Argentina, and on this school, but i wasn't surprised or anything. I start seeing that more people come in the bathroom, some going to the toilets, some going to the sinks, so i decide that i do not need a shower anymore and i go outside.
• Outside the bathroom there was an event going on, like a festival. The lights shut down and everything is dark. I stay for a while without seeing until some lights come again. I see some kids climbing in some desks, away of this event, so i go to help them. A girl was having trouble to come down, so i hold the desk and the chair and i tell her to climb on me. She nervously did and was safe.
• After that i dreamt something else that is not connected to the previous dreams. I was in a jail, not inside a cell, but where police officers should be. Well, there was no police apparently, many dangerous guys on cells and one drunk bald guy coming in and out of the cells. He had a beer glass and every time it ran out of beer he went in the cells to refill it. He asked me if i wanted to drink, of course i said no (it was home made alcohol..., and who knows what it had inside, besides i didn't want to drink any alcohol at all). After the third, fourth drink he started puring the drink in my head, since he was standing and i was lying on the floor. I wanted to do something about it, but at the same time i thought that he could easily open the cells and all the others would come out and that wouldn't be good (although there was an axe in the floor, beside the drunk man. He looked like Flea of RHCP). However i think i questioned why i couldn't get out of that place (i was waiting for the guy in charge there, so when he leaves i would go with him, but i questioned why i had to do that).
• Then i dream about the future and my family. Apparently the economic measures of this country aren't doing any good to the economics of the members of my family, so each time they are poorer. I dreamt something that supposedly happens about 6 months or a year from now. My aunt from my mother has no electricity on her house anymore, she can't pay the bills anymore and apparently she will loose her house. She barely has anything to eat because there's no work. However we were reunited with the rest of my mom's family, and we were enjoying the moment. My grandfather gave me some pens (blue and green), we were standing on a roof and the place was wide. We could have jumped through roofs (i think there was a big tree with vines, that's why the place felt wide).
• Then i find myself experimenting in a swamp. I had like 2 repelents on water, which repeled some monsters. Those monsters were like dolphins with heads of human and teeth of sharks. If those things caught you, you definitely were dead. But i was on water, proximate to 2 of them, and they couldn't touch me, because of this "net" that repelled them. A group came by with my father in it and i think i showed this to them. First i showed the monsters, and they showed how dangerous they were, and then i showed this device. After that we caught one of these monsters and we chop its head off (it was cruel but that's the decision we took as a group (very stupid to take decisions as groups)). Anyhow she was still alive and with those fierce teeth. Somehow the repellent blanket gets moved, my father didn't notice this and he stomps right on her mouth. Of course the blonde monster head ate his foot. He was asking me to come back, like coming back in time, to the part we were in the swamp. I checked if i could do this and i asked a partner there if he could, but both couldn't. There were 2 options. Going back in time (i was trying CTRL + Z, but i didn't have the keys... i should get away from PC for a while), or deal with this, accept it and start moving on. (This things happens, and even though one doesn't like it, it is of no use to regret or lament, so i try not to from the very beginning).
• Then i was left with the head alone for a while, while the group did other things. Of course i was watching it, and i noticed that it was coming to me (like rolling down). So i grabbed it by the hair and i throwed it up where it belonged again. It didn't stay, it came down again to me, so i grabbed it again and throwed it again. It did the same, but at this time i was already angry. Angry and cruel apparently, because i grabbed the head and started hitting it in the wall. After i was done i throwed it where it belonged and it stayed there, but i think the monster was dead by now...

Review:

I liked the part where i just met Obama and didn't care at all, and walked outside that place which was of no use to me anymore.
I liked the part where i helped the little girl.
I would have liked to question myself about the situation a little more, to avoid uncomfortable situations. Also i would like to develop more the skill of observation.
I didn't like the group decisions. Probably it was because my father was there, but since im old enough now i have to take leadership on myself. I will start to be more responsible for myself.
I didn't like the cruelty of chopping of the head of that swamp monster. It doens't matter if it is evil or not, i don't have any right for doing that, and if i do it is a false right since kamma doesn't work that way. I recognize i was cruel, so if i acted cruel something related to that will come up as result.
I didn't like the moment of perplexity where i saw my father lost his foot. Either i accept it or i do something about it, but at that moment i was stiff.
I didnt like the anger and cruelty that i took on that head. I acted based on that qualities of the mind, and i felt like no control. I should have felt with control, and i had discernment i probably could have stopped, but i didn't. I hope to diminish anger, erradicate cruelty, be mindful even in moments i forget, and develop discernment (with observance and questioning).

Other:

I was navigating through internet, looking for an avatar image. I saw an image on a geiser i had on site before and i decided to change it. I thought about looking for something related to fire, because of Zodiac (although i don't believe on it). However a couple days before (30th July) we talked about how "Ofiuco" changed the signs. So I recalled i was actually Piscis (water) instead of Aries (fire). And i realized that although i like fire i probably feel more at ease with water. So i looked for Piscis and in the images i saw, i saw sirens (the monsters of the swamp were actually sirens, but there were male as well and neither gender were beautiful). After seeing this i decided to write down the dreams of last night.