nightmare

I really want to get back into actively practicing lucid dreaming. I miss being on here and discussing dreams with you people! What follows are a few of the most interesting dreams I've had lately.

09.16.2017

Lonliness (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Something has occurred that causes Cheyenne and Jake to forget about me. It's something like a spell or an alternate timeline where we never met and became friends. All I really recall is a rainy night, incomprehensible lonliness, and finally speaking to Cheyenne again even though she does not remember me.

09.16.2017

Foolishness (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Note: This was basically expected. I took one 4mg tablet of Galantamine before bed and another during WBTB at 3 am. That is always a recipe for intense sleep paralysis, which was my goal. I'm trying to use it as a gateway for astral projection, or at least a good lucid.

I'm lucid, walking down the street where I grew up at night. Still affected by my previous dream, I summon Cheyenne to keep me company. I call out her name--- my usual method of summoning. A voice calls back from the darkness, but it's distorted and wrong. "YOU'RE not Cheyenne," I accuse the voice.

"Yes I am." The voice is normal now. Cheyenne approaches me from a dark path out of the trees by the edge of the road. Foolishly, I assume the original distortion must have been an effect of the sound bouncing off the almost tunnel like grove of trees. I am too desperate for companionship after my previous dream to question it further. I figure, this is a dream, so it's not REALLY her anyway.

Cheyenne walks with me back to my childhood home, where I lay down on a hammock around the side of the house. I am laying with my back to her, but it seems for a moment as though she has disappeared, much to my disappointment. If only that were the case...

Because suddenly I hear a demonic voice shriek from behind me, "FOOLED YOU!!!!" as a creature latches onto my back, cackling madly, its arm coming around to dig its long claws painfully into my chest. It falls with me into the dark void of sleep paralysis, mocking me with its shrill, shrieking laughter all the while.

My first thought is that I definitely had this coming to me. Despite my fear and pain, I remember telling myself NOT to try to wake up if I have SP tonight. I hold out for as long as I can, but eventually I give in to the fear and force myself awake.

09.21.2017

Final Destination (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

The early part of the dream is a bit vague. I'm helping someone with computer stuff. There's also a girl I like with pretty blonde hair.

It's as I'm leaving this place that things start to go downhill. My boss has gotten himself mixed up in some Deep Web murder club with an invamous serial killer/hacker named "Sabine." He's going to one of their meetings right now (apparently they meet in a physical place?) and I make the mistake of walking with him to his truck, which is parked outside the convention hall. He asks if I want to come with him and I almost do, but change my mind.

Unfortunately, during this brief span of time, I've drawn the interest of Sabine. I have the option to join or die, and I refuse to do either. But Sabine is seemingly everywhere, with eyes in all forms of technology. I have no idea how to stay constantly vigilant agains a club of murderers who are determined to stalk and kill me. There is also a paranormal aspect to what is happening, but I fear the Murder Club humans much more.

There is a person I'm trying to protect who is also being targeted. I think it's the pretty blonde girl from before. I remember holding her hand, and we might have kissed. Can't really remember this part too clearly. She is involved with the paranormal part of this--- she is a Star who has fallen to earth and needs to find her way home. She is missing a lot of her memory, though. In turn, I have "memories" of these events happening before, in alternate timelines.

I have a conversation with who I think is one of the murderers about what's going on as he mocks me and prepares to kill me. I realize that he's not actually one of the human members of the club; instead, he is a Reaper. I laugh at him, saying I'm not afraid to die at the hands of a Reaper and that he can just go ahead and kill me. He swings his scythe at me mut it hits an invisible barrier. I laugh again. "Looks like you can't do it." I know I am protected against the likes of him, because I know how to use my spiritual energy to defend myself. He wonders out loud what could have caused this. To throw him off his game, I say something about "the Frenchman," apparently referring to the fallen angel Asher. (Asher was a character of mine back in high school. An annoying French angel. In the dream, however, we knew each other from one of the alternate timelines.)

I end up in a bar with my Star friend. Asher bursts in the door, but he looks different than how I remember him. His famous blonde hair is dyed black. He also does not yet remember me from the other timelines, but I know that he will.

I'm now with Asher outside my current residence. Evil vines come from the woods and try to strangle him, but I set them on fire. They scream like banshees as they burn.

07.13.2014

Of Sleep Paralysis, Molestation, and Demons (SP)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

This is a jumbled mess in my mind, but I'll try to draw some sense out of it. I normally consider my SP episodes lucid, but I was so confused that I thought all of this was actually happening because of demons instead of SP.

After some kind of parade involving Sam and Dean Winchester, I find myself in sleep paralysis, entirely unable to move. I don't know where I am, but I'm not in bed. There is a sharp pain in my hips as if someone is pushing my legs up towards my chest--- as I am not flexible at all, this is quite painful. Despite the pain, I am inexplicably somewhat aroused. I keep expecting something sexual to happen, but it doesn't.

I open my eyes when I feel someone grab my wrist forcefully. It is my grandfather, who's a preacher, performing an exorcism over me while shaking a bible. I notice that no one is actually moving my legs--- they are flailing around on their own accord. I am quite calm and not freaked out at all. Simply confused.

I manage to break out of whatever spell I'm in and pull away from him. He explains that a demon is after me, but I don't listen. I think that I'm late for a class and have to go get ready.

I end up at my friend Jake's house where I ask to take a shower. For some reason they have this large bathhouse outside that has locker-room style showers. There are other people in here at first, but after I start my shower everyone else leaves. I had been told by my grandfather not to enter here, because this is "where the Fallen Angel landed when he fell."

In the midst of my shower, I somehow end up flat on my back as the water splashes down on my face. I can't get up, or even move. My vision is confused because I'm seeing the dream shower as well as flashes from my actual bedroom (so I assume my eyes were at least partially open during this time). I hear an old-fashioned radio announcer ardently reading some apocalyptic sounding text, though I can make no sense of what he's saying. There is a high pitched screeching in my head.

Now starting to get a little freaked out, I use my normal foot-shaking technique to wake myself up.

I wake up, but don't move and instantly go back into it. I'm now thinking of turning this into a WILD, but I still think I'm lying down in the shower and I'm really concerned about either the demon coming back or someone wondering why I'm just lying here, so I wake myself up again.

By the time I realize I'm not really in the shower, I'm too awake to get back into SP.

03.08.2013

Old Hag Syndrome (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I "wake up," incredibly thirsty. "Definitely gotta get up and get some water," I think groggily. My mouth is so dry that my tongue is practically sticking to the back of my throat.

When I open my eyes, the first thing I see is a tall, dark figure. It is a tall old woman, wearing a black hat and a big black dress. I stare at the woman calmly, fully believing that I'm really just seeing a normal object, my refrigerator maybe, and that my brain is just still half asleep and making me hallucinate. I fully expect her to disappear within a few moments.

She doesn't.

Instead, she glares directly into my eyes and lunges right at me! I let out a yelp of terror and shut my eyes. "OhmygodOhmygod I'm being attacked," I think frantically.

Then I realize that I can't move and that I've been stuck in sleep paralysis this whole time.

The realization actually makes me feel a bit better. At least now I know that the old woman isn't really real. Every time I open my eyes, I see her back in the doorway. Each time, she lunges toward me. I always close my eyes before she reaches me. Even though I know she's not real, it's still creepy as hell.

I really want to look at my clock: my one anchor to the physical world. But with the old hag constantly attacking me, I can't focus enough to do so. I have to get rid of her.

I open my eyes once more. The old woman comes toward me. I focus on speaking. "Don't. Touch. Me." It is an effort to get the words out, but I am pleased at how dangerously angry I sound. At the same time, I use an old trick of mine: I gather my fear and send it outward in an aggressive wave. The old woman halts in her tracks, stunned at my sudden retaliation.

After her initial shock, she says something along the lines of, "I will destroy you!"

"You can't hurt me," I growl in the same deadly tone.

She cackles. "Wanna bet?" She grabs ahold of my elbow. Pain radiates down my arm, but I've had worse and I only laugh.

"Even if you can hurt me, it doesn't make any difference," I taunt. "You're not real. You don't even exist."

Infuriated, she releases her hold on me and howls in rage.

"Now get away from me!" I yell. She stands in the doorway for the rest of the dream, not daring to attack again.

Now I can look at the clock. I struggle to make out the numbers: It's almost six in the morning. I've been stuck in SP for a while now, and I'm getting sick of it. SADLY, I fail to remember that I'm SUPPOSED to turn it into an LD or an OBE. Instead, I focus all my efforts into trying to wake myself up.

Nothing I do is helping. The only physical parts of me that I can control are my breathing, my eyes, and my tongue, but I can't do anything significant enough to wake myself up! Now that I'm not being attacked (and the vibrations aren't as intense as they have been), I'm getting incredibly bored and fed up with being forced to lie here not doing anything. How much longer could this possibly LAST!?

Screaming at my roommate to wake me up just results in more pointless hallucinations. So I remain stuck in SP for a while longer until I FINALLY snap out of it and wake up for real.

01.16.2013

Sleep Paralysis (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I suddenly become conscious of myself, paralyzed and floating in the black void between dreams. I am not concerned about anything; I just passively wait for a dream to pull me in. It seems as though it's taking longer than normal.

Eventually the faint buzzing of my body grows into great roaring vibrations, far more powerful than normal. It is unpleasant, but I recognize the feeling of being pulled towards a dream, so I do not fight it.

Suddenly I am "waking up" in a chair, with my head hanging uncomfortably back off the arm. "How did I fall asleep in this chair?" I wonder groggily, painfully pulling myself to a sitting position. I do not suspect that I'm dreaming at all. I am wondering how I got back into a house that no longer exists, but more pressing concerns distract me: my teeth seem to be misaligned so that my mouth cannot close properly, and I taste blood.

I stumble to the bathroom and am horrified to find that I have a disgusting looking underbite. My teeth slide together painfully when I try to close my mouth. I push my teeth back and close my mouth the right way, but whenever I open my mouth my teeth go all crooked again. Freaked, I suddenly am reminded of the taste of blood. I start spitting up large globs of blood all over the sink.

Okay, this is definitely a dream. I remember the sleep paralysis now, and find myself silly for not seeing this sooner. However, the sleep paralysis overtakes me once more before I get a chance to move. The feeling is once again extremely unpleasant, so much that I struggle to wake up.

I succeed briefly. I wake up, then roll over and immediately go back to sleep.

Now I am in a doctor's office, talking to a nurse about my sleep paralysis and the possibility that I have some kind of sleeping disorder. She laughs at me derisively, as if she doesn't believe me. She instructs me to go into this small room to take some kind of test, which I assume will verify that my problem is legitimate. It is a small room with a desk and a computer screen- no keyboard or mouse or anything.

I sit in front of the computer. Suddenly a demon comes out of it with a horrible demonic chattering filling my head. I can tell it is trying to drain my energy. I become lucid once more. "I'll just force it back into the screen with my telekinesis," I think, not worried in the slightest. But when I hold out my arm and try to exert my will upon it, the demon shoots up my body and drags me back into sleep paralysis.

The demonic chattering accompanyied with the thundering vibrations in my head and body is almost unbearable. I struggle, but any movemment I succeed in making is never with my real, physical body. Somehow I manage to open my eyes. At first, I don't believe they are my real eyes, because I am still entirely paralyzed, but I manage to focus on my clock. It is hard for my eyes to focus on the numbers, but I make out 2:34.

I am getting really concerned, wondering if I'm actually having some kind of seizure. It is a struggle to keep my eyes open, but I concentrate as hard as I can on the clock to keep them from closing so I do not have another endless cycle of false awakenings and more sleep paralysis. I HAVE to wake myself up.

The air is shimmering and moving, the way heat looks coming off a hot blacktop in the summer, and that demented chattering is still screeching horribly in my head. Am I really being attacked by a demon? I cannot move any part of my body except my eyes and possibly my mouth (though it's hard to say if it's my REAL mouth that is moving), so I instead quicken my breathing. If I start breathing really fast and irregularly, maybe it will jolt me awake.

After a few more agonizing moments, the heavy breathing really does force me awake. I am panting heavily, my heart pounding. I look at the clock. The time confirms that my eyes were actually open, as it is now a few minutes after 2:34. After I compose myself and go back to sleep, I have more disturbing dreams, but no more sleep paralysis.

12.19.2012

Double Death Tragedy (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Alex has come down with some horrible illness after we've locked ourselves in one of the buildings on campus. Her grandfather and (nonexistent) brother are with us. We can hear people in the hallway who aren't supposed to be there, but they don't come to bother us.

Alex is having very violent spasms, yet she assures us that she'll be fine. Her grandfather pulls me aside and tells me that Alex is definitely going to die. I am shocked. In the short time I've known my roommate, she has become like a sister to me. I can't believe she is going to die.

But she does. She dies right in front of me.

I briefly wake up. I am relieved that it was only a dream. However, I have not moved or opened my eyes, and by the time I try to I am already stuck in sleep paralysis and then pulled back into the dream.

I leave the room that we were in, thinking that Alex is still alive. I am going with her brother to investigate why people have been trying to break in. As soon as we walk into a large common room, a bee stings me on the neck, temporarily paralyzing and blinding me. When I am able to move again, her brother informs me that a ninja girl had broken in and done something. We are not sure what, but we know that she was working for our enemy.

We split up to investigate. I come upon my mother, who is sitting with a large group of people. "Have you come for the final visitation?" she asks me in an eerie voice.

I am thinking, "Visitation...? But... Alex didn't really die. That was just a dream. Right?" Confused, I go back to the room where she was to check on her. A horrifying sight greets me: Cheyenne is lying there, dead.

I run from the room, crying, trying to find out what happened. Everyone present is too weird and crazy to answer my questions. An old man with horrible, blistering red flesh is dragging himself around the room, ranting crazily. His fingers and toes are all melded together, making his hands and feet look like flippers. He crawls in front of me and says I am too polite, just like my mother. (wtf?)

I go find my mom again. She says I don't have to be here if I don't want to be, but I don't even know what is happening and I am so distraught that I can barely think straight. All I know is that my heart feels like it is torn to shreds and I can't believe I will never see her again.

Finally I wake up, because my dream crying is making me breathe oddly in real life.

Night of 11/8/12

I am standing in my room when I notice a small yellow jacket flying around. Great, how did a bee get in here? I am looking for something to smash it with, when suddenly a whole SWARM of bees is in the room, covering litterally every inch of the walls. Completely freaked out, I bolt from the room, screaming, swatting bees out of my hair.

Out in the hallway, I realize Alex (my roommate) is still in the room sleeping. "Alex!" I yell. "Alex! You'd better get out here before the bees sting you!" But as I look around the hallway, I notice to my extreme horror that it is also filled with bees! Is it a yellow jacket plague!? What do I do??? There is nowhere for me to walk without upsetting the swarm. I am so alarmed that I jolt into a false awakening.

Now I am standing beside my desk, telling Alex about my dream. Before I can get more than a few words out, however, she suddenly freaks out and points at my wall. There, is a small bee-like insect. "Don't worry," I tell her nervously, "that must have been what caused me to have the dream."

But as I get a closer look, I see that it is not a bee at all: it is a tiny demonic looking fairy wearing a gas mask. The fairy gives me a look that clearly says, "You'd better not tell anyone you saw me."

I immediately grab Alex and drag her out into the hallway to tell her what I saw. Out in the hallway, however, we are alarmed to find the massive swarm of yellow jackets! "This is just like my dream!" I shriek, before doing a reality check.

No wonder. I'm still dreaming.

Another false awakening. Now, I am in the bathroom with Alex, Jake, Sadie (my cat), and Roxie (Jake's dog). Roxie turns into a clone of Sadie. They alternate between hissing at each other and rubbing against each other affectionately. "What's up with them?" I ask Jake.

"Oh, they do that all the time," he says nonchalantly.

I bend down to pet them. At first, they purr and lean into my hand. Then, Jake says, "And that's what demon cats do."

Suddenly, the cats become completely feral and tear up my arm. It hurts a bit, but it is also accompanyied by a feeling so terrible, a feeling of complete and utter horror, that I am once again jolted into a false awakening.

This time, I am lying in bed in my dark room. Freaked out, I instantly do a reality check and determine that I'm still dreaming. A dark skinned girl with long hair sits at the foot of my bed, holding my large HP Lovecraft book. She is rambling about aliens crawling through her ears to her brain. I instinctively know that she's about to enact some sort of dream torture upon me, and I'm screaming at her to go away. I am stuck in sleep paralysis, unable to defend myself.

As a last resort, I close my eyes and let the darkness wash the dream away. I'll wake up in a better dream, I'll wake up in a better dream, I think to myself frantically, but a feeling of utter terror has taken over the entire atmosphere, and I know the next dream will be worse than the last.

I struggle to get out of sleep paralysis and into the real world, but every time I open my eyes, the most terryfying figure is looming over me. He has incredibly long arms which are wrapped tightly around me, pulling me out of reality toward a worse nightmare. His face is the most twisted, demented thing I've ever seen, it can't even be described with words, and he's wearing a large top hat.

Knowing that it is just a dream does not protect me from the agonizing feelings that he is inflicting in me. I am still frantically struggling to wake myself up, but each time I pull myself from the paralysis enough to do a reality check, I am still dreaming!

After what seems like ages, I finally jolt awake, panting heavily. I am instantly annoyed with myself for breaking my most important rule: DON'T WAKE YOURSELF UP.

Night of 10/8/12

I am lucid, though it seems to be a very low level.

I have accidentally awakened an evil Goddess, who is sending horrific atrocities to torment me. A large, disturbing deity has risen up from the ground, among other horrors. Narration claims there are Holy Books at my disposal to get rid of everything, but I cannot see the books.

I flee and somehow end up with a talking sheep as a companion. We enter a building and are given a riddle that has something to do with a certain "Flor." I'm assuming that it's some sort of Earth Goddess reference. Somehow it ends up being a demented Silent Hill version of my friend Amanda who crawls from a stained glass window toward me.

All sorts of creepy people whose eyes and mouths are stapled shut appear. They start shooting needles at me, which hurt A LOT. I try to escape, but they swarm me and drag me to the ground. Even though I know it is a dream, it is still very freaky. I am considering whether or not to classify the dream as a nightmare while the creatures proceed to pile on top of me. I force myself into a false awakening.