memorable

Getting a steady trickle of dreams and some are still quite promising (albeit non-lucid). Some are getting longer in recall...this mornings one (I was up for 2½hours then back to bed for a while) was particularly satisfying.

I'm wandering around a (German?) town (DS) and I have my girlfriend with me (sorry wifey dear, no slight intended but this is dreamstuff.) I kiss her several times (a long slow embrace) in full view of the general public (once on top of a bus) She's a bit embarrassed but responds willingly and well...lovely stuff...as good as dream sex for me and not too unfaithful.

I'm on track for a possible further operation to resolve the very distracting problem I have with this nose of mine...another bout of blood and snot but it should be worth it. I'm back persevering with awareness exercises and showing more patience this time...and I have an idea to cultivate a possible friend. I call him “Psi” and he might be able to help me move forward in my little project...we'll see..

Although it is currently a barren dream time for me (lucid or otherwise) I take comfort that it's less than a month since I had a LD (albeit a short one) I duck and dive my way through my dream attempts (a little bit of this, a try at that) and my naturally paranoid nature hints that I often seem to be blocked at every turn...almost as of some outside force is either toying with me or hinting that dream attempts will harm my health.

I remember a comment by Terence McKenna that his ego screamed that he was dying when he started a new psilocybin trip because it would strip away his humanity and that ran entirely counter to its natural function...that kind of feeling maybe. I toyed with DEILD last week and programmed to wake up much earlier to the dreams-end and got hints of the old “ill feeling” that so distracts from dream-recall and re-entry...and that feeling of dread soon disperses once its job is perhaps done, so is that maybe not real?

I'm doggedly working my way through Ratey's brian book. I've jumped forward...as is my way...to a section about dreams and how the 40hz oscillation ramps back up when REM sleep starts. I determined to WBTB last night and had headphones and a Youtube vid primed to see what happens...and slept right through the night, without waking, till 08.30 (a very very rare event) See what I mean? Mr paranoid.

I'm interested in DMT, psilocybins etc and maybe their effect (even in small doses) on dreams. With my new-found respect for our frantically hard-working neurons I've started thanking them for any dream crumbs they see fit to throw from the table. (that's not my mad idea...I read it here first) Last night I told them I'm up for dash of pineal activity to maybe pep-up my dreams and any cooperation in this matter would be much appreciated. Hey! I'm as sane as the next man! (and the way this World's going that's not much of a recommendation.)

Against the current grain I woke an hour after I went to bed (with just a hint of a dream) then an hour later with a (what is lately) a rare clear and vivid dream fresh in my mind...so much so that I determined to get up specially to write this out.

I'm being pursued by a doggedly-determined but apparently loving female vampire through a neighbourhood (most of my dreams normally not even vaguely menacing) I duck and dive everywhere and I'm looking around for a weapon of sorts. I don't seem to be terrified...just a bit anxious (as you would) and I'm as determined to escape as she seems to be to drink my blood. Come back dear, it won't hurt...much...that sort of thing.

I'm moving towards what I take to be maybe a 19th century hostelry and I can see the landlord? looking-out at me. I get a clear feeling that he's about to close the frontage of his premises (as if he's encountered this before and doesn't want to get involved) Then I wake up. Phew.

I now realise that I didn't feel ill and maybe should have tried for a DEILD lucid but a combination of my surprise at this (nowadays) rare event...and perhaps my understandable reluctance to go back into that scenario thank you very much, I just got up to pen this

So...encouraging. Ever onwards (I must stop saying that) I'll keep reading, experimenting, flitting from one thing to another and reporting back every small victory.

Ed, you old dog you!...my first full sexual encounter and at the seaside! Talking to your brain clearly works..although I didn't ask for this to be honest...

Nil points for my chat up line...basically, it seemed to be "what do you reckon?" The first recipient of my deathless prose was a large woman who seemed to have piercings. She apparently didn't reckon and became very loud and angry in her objections..a relief really because piercings are definitely not my thing.

The next lady certainly seemed to reckon and we peeled away in search of a suitably secluded area...down a dark alleyway, sharp turn right and up a bit to a grassy knoll...hold on...weren't we on a pier? We immediately got down to it...foreplay was clearly in line with my seduction techniques...non-existent. Then I made the mistake of looking down...

My member had full marks for length, but it was like a thin black tube. Presumably, as with hands, the brain just doesn't do any extremities very accurately (particularly length). The sex was disappointing...but then I've read that somewhere before. Don't take offence Ed, it's not your fault...you just need to get out more.

Then, as often happens in my dreams, I'm suddenly somewhere else and trying to get back to where I was before. (major D/S i.e. searching, lost, looking for something...then, aren't we all?) It should have been easy... down the alley, sharp right and up a bit but no...the scenery shifters have clearly been hard at work.

The rest of my dream involves me wandering aimlessly about. There are now multiple hillocks with trysting lovers atop...how does a pier hold all that dirt and grass? Finally I get to what I think was my grassy hillock and I peer upwards...but there seems to be a party going on up there...and I woke up

I'm not making this up...it was a clear dream (A good sign for me because it represents a step in the right direction.) I'm not that disappointed in the poor quality of the sex because I just know I'd get hooked and I have other priorities...and once again, thanks Ed you're a diamond and I'm glad I'm coupled-up to you...in the platonic sense of course...

Better...albeit just 2 small, mundane and slightly odd dreams recalled. Thanks Ed...you threw me a couple of bones.

My boss/teacher? (DS) tells me "look up dieters." ??? I scan through a large journal and apparently find some references. (D/S looking for something) I tell my boss/teacher...adding "It should have been entered in the index."

My boss (DS) and I are wrestling with a long roll of computer-printout paper. I mean really fighting... this paper must be made out of carbon fibre or something. Eventually I tear through the paper (where's the physics in that?) and he presumably falls backwards (if the physics is working at all) You know, I really felt as if I'd won a major disagreement...small victories.

I have a handful of dream signs and that's a good thing I think, because they invariably pop up and surely increase the chances of lucidity when conditions are right...which they're not at the moment.

Not much but thanks Ed...it shows you care.

Another night of frustrated plans, cock-ups and little else...but I've got a idea.

I'll switch from bed to living-room recliner throughout the night...a sort of mix-and-match to combat the pain. I may even slip out of the house at aprox 5.00 am every morning for a quick 15 minute walk. When we move to the coast next year I'll put a single recliner in my bedroom to leave the living room clear for the wife when she gets up.

Finally, right at the last gasp of the morning I had a dream fragment.

"My house" is right on the very edge of a very high escarpment (assumed rather than seen, because a very large van was parked on the edge and blocking the view.) I touched the side of the van but it was so close to the edge I feared I might push it over.

But, to the left, there was a gap between the van and the house and I peered round. I saw a vast river valley. The view was so vivid and so breathtaking. Moving through the valley and up towards me was a huge circular spaceship...mind blowing.

I'll take that as a visual word of encouragement...

An interesting night.

2 choline, blueberries, purple grape juice.

5.30
Fragment. Admiring my thick bronze-coloured hair in a mirror? At my age, even a comb-over is a plus. Got up for a short while, had a small coffee then BTB. It took me a while to go off (it sometimes take a longish time with or without a coffee.)

There followed a long period where I got really strong sensations like I used to have when trying to WILD (I wasn't trying to this time...I just wanted to go to sleep.) I got SP - which I now always ignore and a sensation in my head that I was really going somewhere this time. It went on-and-on building and the tinnitus in my ears really ramped-up.

But as before so many times no colours (except for a touch of green), no dream forming...nothing. I tried visualizing one to no effect...I just really wanted to go to sleep...and eventually I did

7,45
A disturbing dream (I had one like this last year) I was in a classroom and my teacher had popped out somewhere. Some of his gear (coat scarf etc) was on a trolley and it seemed to be possessed and it was rising into the air. Eventually the whole trolley moved across the room and I said to another person "You saw that didn't you?"

He seemed to be in denial and that made me angry. He clearly was trying to expunge it from his mind and i decided to exercise my supernatural powers and flew around the room, then swooped down on him trying to terrify him. The teacher returned and wanted to know what was going on. He clearly didn't believe my explanation either and he seemed to be very patronising with me. So I turned on him and got really violent and I started hitting him very hard.

I've had other dreams about me turning nasty...I think I have a streak of violence locked deep within me ..."monsters from the id" as Morbius said in the film "Forbidden Planet" I don't think it relates to the fact that other people think we're daft with this LD thing...I'm really not that bothered

Maybe the coffee contributed but there's frustration with something...or maybe everything. If I was American I'd be running round with an AK47...because I'm a Brit I'll probably just put a stroppy tweet in my local rag.