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    Skyrim: The Captain Gets Fus'd!

    by , 07-12-2019 at 04:55 AM (64 Views)
    2019, 07-11

    Regular Dream - Semi-lucid Dream - Lucid Dream - Notes

    I am playing Skyrim VR, starting at the beginning. Ralof is across from me, Ulfric is to my right, Lokir is across from Ulfric. Lokir is being extremely rude. He won’t shut and two out of every three words is an expletive. He is directing his torrent of obscenity at Ulfric, who is completely ignoring him. Ralof tries to tell Lokir not to talk to the rightful high king of Skyrim like that, but gives up. Lokir sees me staring at him and takes a break from Ulfric to curse at me. I ask if he talks to his mother with that filthy mouth. He gives me one final, “Fuck you!” before going back to cursing at Ulfric.

    We arrive in Helgen and stop. I see the Imperial Captain and say to no one in particular that I really wish I could fus her ass. I look at Ulfric. He could fus her. I say I’ll get that gag off of him if he’ll fus the Captain. He looks at me strangely. Did he hear me? But other characters can’t hear what I say, they only hear the dialog choices I make… But then Lokir had seemed to hear me, too… wtf? Did I add a mod that includes voice recognition and explicit language?

    Ulfric and Ralof are on the list, then Lokir insists he’s not a (expletives) Stormcloak and he hates that (expletives) traitor Ulfric. The Captain doesn’t believe him so he then turns his expletives on her, calling her a list of rude names I won’t repeat even though I agree with them. He then makes a run for it and is shot in the back by an archer. Hadvar says my name isn’t on the list, but the Captain says I should be killed anyway. Lokir used every expletive in the book, so I settle with telling the Captain to go fus herself. I would love to be able to fus her right off of a cliff.

    Alduin swoops over the town, bathing everything in fire. I follow Ralof into the closest tower. Ralof and Ulfric and a few other Stormcloaks come out the hole in the wall, though after a blast of fire from Alduin the other Stormcloaks are either killed or separated leaving Ralof, Ulfric, and me. Hadvar and the Captain attack Ulfric specifically, saying he’s not getting away. I get to see the Captain get fus’d after all. Ulfric fus’s her right as Alduin makes another pass, so she gets fus’d and then toasted! I exclaim, “That was AWESOME!” Ulfric looks at me like he thinks I’m insane. He can hear me! I’d better watch what I say or everyone in Skyrim will think I’m a total psycho.

    The rest of the opening quest goes pretty normal except for Ulfric is with Ralof and me. Then we are out and Ulfric wants to know if I know what fus means. “Of course I do, it means force. Ro means balance, dah means push. Now if I can just kill a few dragons I can do my own fus’ing…” Alduin flies overhead. “But not that one… I’m not ready for that one yet.” So the sooner I head off the Whiterun the sooner I will get the first word! I head down the path then wake up.

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