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    17 Nov: forced labor farm under Nazi rule

    by , 11-17-2014 at 01:48 PM (409 Views)
    non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

    I live and work at a farm, possibly in Germany. The owner is a nazi sympathizer or at least that's my impression of him, since he seems to be well integrated in the nazi society. Most of the farm workers are jews, men, women and children, forced to labor like slaves. Their life conditions are miserable and I do my best to help them. I am also a worker, not jew, but of a lower class than my boss. He is in love with me and I am his mistress, but he can't have a serious and socially accepted relationship with me due to my humble origins. Also, I don't love him, I just tolerate his sexual advances because he provides me some privileges and I also use it to manipulate him, for instance, to better the conditions of the forced workers. I feel a lot of empathy for these people and I am particularly fond of the children, especially a little orphan 2-year old girl, whom I love like my own child.
    The boss is a bit obsessed with dressing me up with pretty lingerie and sometimes I feel sick with how he shows me off in underwear and analyzes me in front of his best friend while they are having lunch, for example. He treats me like a sex toy. But when he is pleased, I can get him to agree on certain things, like providing hot baths for the jews, when previously they only had cold showers, even in the winter. He allows the german house workers to heat up large pots of water to fill in the bathtub for the jews to take a bath if they wish. But when I tell them the news, only a couple of them accepts happily the offer. The others are suspicious, as if afraid that if they take it, something bad will happen to them later as punishment. I don't understand and feel disappointed.
    One day some nazi guys come for a visit and insist on taking a picture of the farm workers all lined up. As usual, I serve as intermediary, because they like me and they trust me. I sense much nervousness in them and the children feel the tension and start crying. I tell them it's just a photo, no reason to be afraid and with somber faces they line up. But the 2-year old baby is restless and the lady who is holding her can't keep her quiet, so I step in the line up and hold the baby in my arms, as only I can quiet her down. Her eyes are full of fear as if she can sense something that I can't. I feel so much love and compassion for this baby. I hold her in my arms with unconditional love as they take the picture with me included.
    Life goes back to normal, until one day my boss gives me some money to go buy some pretty clothes in the village or town nearby. When I return at the end of the day, I find all the jewish workers screaming and crying inside a truck, being taken like cattle to the slaughterhouse. I freak out, I try to stop the truck, I plead to my boss, but he is also upset, it is not in his hands. I didn't think he cared much for the jews, but he didn't hate them either and found useful to have them as a free work force. But then I realized that deep down, he had started to apprecciate the idea that they were in a safe environment at his farm and that he could save their lives. But there were superior orders that they'd be taken somewhere else and I learned the ugly truth of what was going on with the jews.
    Much later, we left the farm and the country. My boss and a couple of his friends, who no longer could take part of what was going on in their country, flew to Havana and he took me with him. I could feel a difference in him and I started being treated more like equal. We started a new life, leaving the suffering behind. I took refuge in the experience of an exotic country and other life realities to try to forget the unfortunate people I had left behind.

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