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    6 Feb: Attempt to meditate in the luminous mind

    by , 02-06-2011 at 09:25 PM (572 Views)
    NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING

    22:00

    Helping out
    Someone wants me to save someone else from something, but I clarify we’re just in a dream, so no point to stress out. This person cries. I promise to help.

    0:00

    Feeling two bodies simultaneously
    I was falling asleep, but then something strange happened: I felt I was lying on my bed, but although I know my BF was lying by my side, I could not feel him, so I stretched my hand out to reach him. At first I felt nothing, but then I felt his knee. He moaned and asked “what?”, I say it was nothing, but I was in such a state in between sleep and vigil, that I felt myself dissociating from my body: I felt simultaneously my “real” body on my bed and I felt myself floating above the bed on a dream or astral body. I made some sound like “wooow” and he moaned to me “are you ok?”. I was hardly able to speak or even hear my own voice by then, but I kinda moaned back “wow, I have two bodies!”, then he replied something like “you’re sleepy”, I laughed exhilarated and fell completely into the “dream body”.
    [in the morning I asked him about this and he doesn’t recall it happening. It might be that it was all a dream from the beginning, that the conversation we had was already a dream or that he simply forgot.]

    Chemtrails
    Already disconnected from my waking body, I watch hypnagogic imagery. I got caught on some image where I was looking through a window to the sky. Although everything I see around is dark and undefined, the night sky outside is very clearly defined and I see an airplane passing low and leaving a large trail. When the airplane comes back and leaves another trail, I am sure he is leaving chemtrails. I know I am not awake but I am also not sure that I’m dreaming. I go through a short blackout and then I find myself outside on the street under that sky. My mother is with me. We look at the trails and I tell her we should go inside because it might be some nasty chemical. She is very worried. I pinch my arm to do a RC, I confirm I’m not awake, so I don’t feel so worried.
    I turn back and face a large residence. We’re on the back yard. I talk to some DCs who seem to be college students. I go inside.

    LDers secretariat
    I meet my BF on some room, but he is very agitated and leaves right after. He goes down some stairs to the front door. I go after him but I halt on the corridor, because I see 3 doors all with signs on the door saying ”Lucid dreamers” or "lucid dreams". One is closed, the other is open and there's some guy inside but he is busy talking to someone, so I enter the last one. There’s a lady there, but she says I’ll have to come back later because she is on her break. I see she has a badge with her name, so I ask her if I can check her name once more, just so I can recall who she is on waking up. She is in a hurry and with very little patience, but she turns to me once more before closing the door and I read: Eliza Dias.

    Students protest
    I walk to the stairs and I pass by some window that I open to see what’s going on down there after all. The police are taking some kid in custody. His colleagues are protesting. I fly down to meet them and I ask what’s going on. They say the police came with a list of names and is taking away one by one. They say they did some demonstration days before and they are coming for them. Others don’t agree it is because of that and say a smaller group of protesters invaded a bank to stage some action there and the cops are only taking them. Meanwhile the police comes back and starts calling for more names. The kids form a block together, not allowing the cops to take them. I join them for support.

    3:00

    Bus ride
    I enter a bus and it is my friend M. Silva who is the driver. I had just bought a ticket at a counter at the bus stop but now I’m having troubles finding it. She says it’s ok, but I must sit on the seat across from her and talk with her. I was followed by friends – Zilla and others – who want me to sit with them on the back but I tell them to go without me. Don’t recall what happened in detail, but either she or some other lady who sat by my side freaks me out, because through her ears I can see the inside of her head, which has a big fire raging. I run to some seat somewhere in the middle of the bus, which now seems like some conference room. My seat has a board over it full of pens and pencils and I have to organize them all before I take the seat. Then I see my friends in the back who signal me to go meat them. I go. Outside is raining and my clothes are all wet. They hand me over something to wear. I change. I wear something apparently too sexy with large boots. Someone comments I shouldn’t wear those improper clothes, but I say I have nothing else and won’t keep the wet clothes on.

    5:00

    University
    Walking around some university, wearing a white robe, like that of doctors. I feel like I’m studying medicine there and I’m looking for a colleague because I’m worried about a paper we should have worked on. I pass by some open and circular room which is like a small projection room. All is dark, but I see people sitting on the seats as if waiting for something. I turn the lights on and the projector which plays a movie. They thank me. I spot some guy I have a crush on but he doesn’t say a word. Instead, some geeky guy I don’t like, grabs my arm to thank me and asks me for a kiss. I shake him off and say no. I run to the restroom. When I see myself in the mirror, I look awfully tired. I put some make up on, but I exaggerate and then have to take it off. I go out and bump into the girl I was looking for. It’s Mónica M. I tell her I’m worried because I didn’t do anything on that paper and neither she did say anything to me on that. She smiles and says “Hey, we’ve finished our courses already. Forget about the paper.” I suddenly recall it’s true, I have my degree for years. I become lucid.

    Trying to rip the dream fabric
    Dream fades and I end up on some place on the countryside where medieval dressed people seem to be building up a fair or a tournament site. There is a very high podium where two big guys are holding down some black guy and telling him he can choose either to be decapitated or thrown down that podium. He thinks the fall might give him some chance of survival so he chooses it. But it’s not going to happen yet, they are still rehearsing for the big date. I notice the black guy is some known comedian, so I guess this is all just a movie set and not a real thing. I walk down a road and at some point some people pass by me running because someone stepped over some beehive and the whole colony is after them and now after me, because they brought it in my direction. But I feel no stings, because I am still ware I’m dreaming. I am bored, I jump really high over some rice paddy fields and then decide to rise in the air. From up above I try to rip apart the dream fabric. I wish to get out of the imagery but not end in the blackness. Instead I wish to go to the luminous state of mind, free from imagery, where I can meditate free from distractions. But it doesn’t work. The best I can achieve is opening with my hands a little gap on the scenery from where a brief flash of light irradiates. I give up and decide to just plunge in the rice paddies, visualizing the light, hoping to meet it.

    Slaughterhouse
    I go through the blackness and suffer brief SP vibrations and sounds (a long time since it happened), then I find myself on a belt of a slaughterhouse, among dead bodies of cows, heading to a giant saw. I know it’s a dream, but still the idea of being cut in half creeps me out so I jump out of the belt. There are parts of animals everywhere, blood splattered on the walls, the image is horrendous, but I try to keep calm. I make a prayer for those beings and recall the light once more. Some light invades this dark creepy room through some slits on the walls.

    The Light
    Dream fades again and I go through SP one more time. I hear a Bollywood song playing in my head and I feel gentle vibrations throughout my entire body, rising from my feet to my head. It ends with vibrations on my 3rd eye. I hold on and find myself on a very luminous landscape. Below I see grass and trees, but above the trees there’s only a very bright, radiant white light pervading everything. I wish there was only the light, so I rise up in the air, to leave the ground behind and be totally immerse in the light, with no images to distract me. I imagine myself sitting on a lotus flower in mid air. But once there’s only light in all space, my mind starts to drift and I am dragged once more into SP. Then my BF moved and woke me up.

    7:00

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