Nef's dream journal

It started with a normal dream of going to work, me and me dad and his friend got off of a train, it was some kind of futuristic train station, we were going to work
Then went downstairs where the stairs were empty at times
But I was always lucid somewhat
When we got down there things were different it was like a scene from my old school life blended in
That's when I started to dig down into my negative feelings, mostly of how I didn't get a girlfriend in school in high school etc. I started to hear and see alternate stories of the same things, I became my alternate selves, re living their bitterness, or that was my dream memories, and just got deeper and deeper until I accepted death wholly or something similar to that
And then I was at home , or at least at some kind of level, with no hope and kind of consumed by hopelessness, I went out and the sky was covered in storm clouds, like multiple thick layers of cumulo nimbi only lighted by a light source high up in the sky, it was like a painting, it was beautiful,
Then I was ready, for the unknown, usually I don't engage with scenes like that in a dream or so that's what I thought, but this time I didn't give a damn
I knew there was something there, the place represented my mind my whole being I think I'm not sure,

So then I said hello? Come on take me. My voice was weak but it echoed everywhere.
And as I embraced the sky I rose up into the sky and started spinning slowly , and my whole body was overcome with this feeling of healing and comfort, and I heard an upbeat kind of ambient music and I started to have some kind of monologue about the death of the suffering, and how I set it off and someone named mark
The sky cleaned up and it was a warm blue sky and I floated there, marinating in healing energy
And then I heard my mom's voice, but it wasn't real because she is still sleeping

side note: my feet need cold water, they heat up a lot and causes me to wake up, but some cold water calms my nerves down like nothing else in the world and then I sleep like a baby

Idk if I even dreamt it , or maybe it was a nap dream??
but anyways, I think I dreamt of one of those language demonstrating youtube videos
all I remember is that the word for "what" was "aš" and I tought to myself "how strange"
and left the video

It all started with me doing something that I knew I couldn't do in real life
or so the sense of limitlessness was the main hint for me

So when I came to, I tried my usual routine of trying to stabilize
I was at home ofc, and it didn't work, the dream started to fall apart, the usual "fog" started to take over
That's when it randomly came, Instead of tactile I focused on visuals, the colors and the detail around me
And it all came back
and for the first time in my dream-life , I left my house
And it tried to fall apart 2 or 3 times until I got to the streets but I did the same again, and it worked
after that things got blurry for me for a minute or a half, and somehow I was at a meat factory that was supposedly in the next street
I met my old friend there, he was working there, and he was younger now, looked totally different than irl, more like when we were in high school
I was like "man , this is a dream ,this is not real, stop for a moment look at me, this is a dream", he was kinda suprised and a bit annoyed, as if I'm hallucinating or something
then we went out, I observed the streets , it was night, the sun was about to rise, but the stars were still shining bright, I looked at the cars passing by, it was kind of vivid.
That's when I woke up, after 4-5 minutes of time I bought with this trick, the fog now took over, and I felt that I have to wake up now.



note: potential discovery is that focusing on the visuals around you might stabilize dreams or bring it,and yourself back from the waking process
although I can't tell if that was a full dream or a very late morning hypnagogic session, it was over 10 am so I can't tell if it would work in a mid REM dream the same way
also somehow I just can't seem to find the ideal time to try lucid dreaming, in teh morning, whether I wake up at 4-5-6 am, I'm just always unable to go back to sleep if I dont completely let go of myself

I have a very mildly recurring type of dreams
its always about a train trip to somewhere
the first ones were ok, nothing really unusual
I saw some plains, steppes, it was nice

This time it was different
I was going to Vienna for some reason, some kind of event idk
but I didnt book at any hotel , so I thought I'll have to survive on the streets for like few days
anyways I got on
it turned into something like a rollercoaster but with trains
there were jumps and hoops sometimes
one particular case I remember was that the train went under a bridge
made a jump the an ollie, the whole train was gliding on the tracks sideways
then went back to normal
I was really scared for a moment
the train conductor didnt even flinch, like if that's a normal part of a train trip

I was hurrying somewhere by the road into the city centre, its a long one
I wanted to get to something, i dont know what
the weather was already but, but it quickly got worse
a big storm came, things turned night time dark, rain started getting heavy
but for some reason, I kept going
into the dark, and rain

I was in a valley that had huge platforms and the Chinese army was coming monthly to ritually transfer raw materials to the people there(edited)
And I was able to fly kinda
On the way there at night some **** kept annoying me so I tied her up and threw her down a mountain and she rolled into a giant oven to which the entrance was a large platform of almost melting hot steel and she burned alive in that(edited)
I kinda felt guilty and condemned because I already killed a few innocent people in my dreams
Then I saw the transfer ritual , a bunch of people and trucks on top of eachother just circling in a weird way and I only heard loud scratching noise of iron or something rusty idk
After that I was babysitting a little girl who was kinda sweet , really interested in the world, and we and some people went to a Berber village , and I had a slingshot thing that made getting to rooftops easy, and I was in an assassin robe for some reason, hood and all
I was kinda relieved when I woke up and realize that I didn't kill anyone

barely remember the dream
I dreamt about the matrix engulfing all space and time
it was like a green static wall from the outside
everyone was becoming part of it
but I did not become one with it, even if I entered
I left

felt lost ,no way out , everything will be swallowed by it

I was going home from the cellar again, when small vortices formed, I panicked and ran further down the hill.
The city was quite different now. There were very tall trees covering the sky , but a tornado formed there too...
I don't remember the rest

I dreamt about being in a place that is meshed up from multiple universes
in an abandoned house I found little horses, I petted one of them
things happened and one of em run away into what was a mesh of an imperial star destroyer
then on a bus I talked to another on about school education
it was surreal

I woke up ... its 11 am , I slept way too much again

I was floating around , like a camera, it was as if I'm in a documentary, or watching one.
It's the middle of the desert late at night, I hear Sebiba chants. People meet in the middle of the desert to do blues\ishumar music, tuaregs and people from all over the world, lots of guitars....

My dream recall's been getting better ..this morning I remembered 2 dreams , ones from my first sleep, then the second one that was after I fell back asleep...
First dream was about a show that documents weird, eccentric people, I was in the show as interviewer... the guy I was interviewing was a cyborg I think, he looked like he's in his 30's ,living in an attic
asked him ,whats weird about him
-if I told you , you wouldn't believe it.
-but what is it ?
-I live as 3 age groups at the same time

Then a supposed grandpa enters
"hello grandpa"
he looks just like him , the same cyborg features around the eyes , the same face structure... I was like wtf
we tried to talk to him too, but he was way too eccentric... He had hand prosthetics that broke easely, and he broke them right infront of us just for the sake of it...then went into another room to fix his hands..
I said " dude should get plastic hands, or something more durable"
to this he dashed out and said " did you just intentionally kill yourself?" as if suggesting to him to get more durable hands was a deadly mistake...
he walked towards me , and I was like " OK NO NO SORRY I DIDNT MEAN TO " then he threw a plastic shelf at me or something and went back in ...


Second dream was about tornadoes
A "hurricane" was approaching the suburbs I was living in
I don't remember much
but when it was arrived , it was an amazing sight, I had a vivid vision, no better way to describe this ,I seen it in 4k , as tornadoes where whirling around the mesocyclone right above me but somehow didnt hit me
I ran into a restaurant, hide under the counter ,then it came, one tornado struck the place I was in , things, and people were flying around, but it looks like the crew survived, then I continued running towards my home...

I dreamt that after a heavy rain, a lot of water was flowing down the hill, among the streets.
I didnt pay much mind to it, I went to the shop. Then encountered a big fckoff COBRA, but it wasnt any kind of cobra , it was FLYING all over the place. Its morphology was unique:Its lower half was of a light colour , cant tell which, the top, was vibrant red, with the hood stretching all over it's body, acting as a wing to catch wing, while doing this swirly motion mid air , supposedly to maneuver itself. I got really scared, it somehow flew up and charged me , I fell on the ground and covered my face, but nothing happened, it just went away. I ran home like mad while seeing a bunch of these things flying around, told mom, closed windows ,door , I was panicking like mad, then started to see reptillians even, flooding the street , and maybe even lions?
Someone told me that this event will die off once all the water flows down from the mountains... Nobody was worrying that much about it..but I was furious

note: there's been a time when I often dreamt of being middle school, which was really bad because it was a really traumatic part of my life. But with time, I had those dreams less and less, sometimes I still do have em rarely. This time was different

I was again back at middle school as an adult, and the whole class was made of adults(pretty strange). The interior of the building was much larger, instead of 3 floors, there was like 15. Going downstairs was really tiring.
All I remember, is that now I knew I can play the other way, this girl who bullied me often tried to start some shit... and so I kept coming back at her, hassling her to the point she wanted to kick me , but she kicked into the table by me instead, hurting her leg, she was seething from anger. I went downstairs left the building.
Then I got into a fight with some guy because he was playing tough guy , and I stepped on the grass infront of the school...

I can't tell if that was actually a dream, because I just woke up so quickly. Opened my eyes and that was it , then I blinked, the last frame of what I've seen in the dream was still there but then it vanished.

It was winter.
So I was infront of my old tradeschool's vineyard, I was supposedly back in time I was in tradeschool , and there was a meeting there in the middle of the night for some reason. At the beginning the dream was not stable, it was kind of mushy. I was at the gate and of course I wanted to go in, but it was so dark there , no lights, not even from the buildings, I thought that there's no one there and there might be a misunderstanding of some kind. So I went back to the gate because I heard something is coming, thought I'm about to get bit in the ass by a large dog. Now the dream was getting clearer, and there were some people already there...Supposedly my classmates...and after me came a little dog from the dark, not a really intimidating breed I might say. Then I wanted to make the dream clearer. For some reason I don't fully understand , I just closed my eyes for a moment then opened it again, and this helped. The dream got clearer ,almost vivid I say. I looked down at this long street we used to walk down from after work, and remembered that I will get my chimney checked, so I can't dooze off. And so I woke up...

In my dream it was early morning, I was walking around the room... then the sun rised, and went back, now that was suspicious to me.
Instead of a reality check , I simply used telekinesis to levitate a book, it worked, I realized I'm dreaming.
Then I woke up because my back hurt from sleeping too much.

note:
So I guess I'm finally making some progress...but I got to make it so that my back don't hurt. Maybe work out?
But I guess sleeping at 8-10 am isnt healthy so I have to keep going with my thorough rc technique, which has been unsuccesful so far...
Maybe I could just get up early for a few days then try once ....
Idk...